There’s No One Like Gaston

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Day 13) You Favorite Villain Song

Gaston

Now I know there are many more scary and mean villian songs, but this one is my favorite. I love Gaston, but let me clarify, I love Gaston like how I love Draco Malfoy. They have some the best lines, they are so egotestical that they are hilarious, and you just know the story would be a snooze-fest without them. Gaston’s song is so awesome because it is so silly, egotestical, manly, and a total laugh riot.

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I mean this is like the ultimate pep talk. Next time you have a friend who isn’t doing well, just change the words around and add their name in. They’ll thank you for it. ūüôā

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here’d love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There’s no man in town as admired as you
You’re ev’ryone’s favorite guy
Ev’ryone’s awed and inspired by you
And it’s not very hard to see why

No one’s slick as Gaston
No one’s quick as Gaston
No one’s neck’s as incredibly thick as Gaston
For there’s no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they’ll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

No one’s been like Gaston
A king pin like Gaston
No one’s got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
As a specimen, yes, I’m intimidating
My- what a guy, that Gaston

Give five “hurrahs!”
Give twelve “hip-hips!”
Gaston is the best
And the rest is all drips

No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston
For there’s no one as burly and brawny
As you see I’ve got biceps to spare
Not a bit of him’s scraggly or scrawny
(That’s right!)
And ev’ry last inch of me’s covered with hair

No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
I’m espcially good at expectorating
(Ptooey!)
Ten points for Gaston!

When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev’ry morning to help me get large
And now that I’m grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I’m roughly the size of a barge

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No one shoots like Gaston
Makes those beauts like Gaston
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston
I use antlers in all of my decorating
Say it again
Who’s a man among men?
And then say it once more
Who’s the hero next door?
Who’s a super success?
Don’t you know? Can’t you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There’s just one guy in town who’s got all of it down
And his name’s G-A-S- T –
G-A-S-T – E –
G-A-S-T-O – oh!

GASTON!!!

For more on Beauty and the Beast, go to Episode VI: Return of the Favorite Movie Lines List

For more of my favorite songs, go to If I Never Knew You

For more on¬†Disney Villains, go to¬†The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind

For more on¬†Disney go to¬†I’ll Make a Man Out of You

For more on Draco Malfoy, go to Even After All This Time

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In other news:

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and not just that, it is also a full moon

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Yep two things:

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Horror films!!! And…

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Pizza!!!

Yep every Friday the 13th pizza and a horror flick!

If you are into scary movies then I suggest reviewing Horrorfest: 31 Day of Terror and Woe and Horrorfest II: The Oddities of October. Also keep your eyes peeled for a three-quel!

And if you want to continue in this Friday the 13th mood, check out Camp Blood: Friday the 13th (1980) and A Deliciously Creepy Tale: Butterfinger the 13th.

That Video…is Not of This World: Ringu (1998)

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This kind of thing… it doesn’t start by one person telling a story. It’s more like everyone’s fear just takes on a life of its own

On April 13, 2011; I was chilling with my friends when I suddenly recalled it is Friday, April 13th!

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It’s Friday the 13th! We must watch a scary movie! We weren’t satisfied with what we had in the dorm so we headed out to the library and checked out what they had. We were looking out the horror section, when my friend Freda saw¬†Ringu and said that we should watch it since she had heard it was really creepy. I was totally down for that, and I have to agree that it was pretty creepy, but did have some dull moments.

So the film starts out with two girls hanging out one night.

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One starts joking with the other, telling her about a story she heard about these people checking out a strange video, and later they recieved a call saying they would die in seven days. It quickly goes from funny too serious when the other girl, Tomoko, tells her friend that she saw the video and got the call. Her seventh day is tonight. She then says she was just kidding, and that it’s no big deal, she’s going to be fine. However the two go downstairs, Tomoko is killed by some unseen force. Her friend then goes into shock and has to be put in a mental institution. This scene is pretty creepy.

Tomoko’s aunt¬†Reiko Asakawa is a journalist and comes over for the memorial, bringing her son.

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She feels that something is not right, as there has to be more to the story. She starts going through some of Tomoko’s stuff and finds a strange picture of Tomoko and her and friends at a cabin in Izu. In the photo all the kids’ faces are blurred out. All the kids in the photo are also dead.

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¬†Reiko ¬†goes down to the cabin in Izu and finds a strange tape, intrestingly it is not the orginal piece but a copy.¬†¬†Reiko watches it and it is full of strange images that don’t seem to make any sense. At the end the image cuts off and snow flurries take over the screen.

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Immediately after, the phone rings and the voice on the phone says she only has seven days to live.

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The rest of the film is now counted in days as¬†¬†Reiko’s time is limited.

Reiko goes to see her ex-husband, RyŇęji Takayama. One thing they never explain is that¬†RyŇęji is a psychic. This is part of the reason why the two broke up as Reiko couldn’t deal with it.¬†Reiko goes to him to tell him he might have to care for their son if she should die.¬†RyŇęji doesn’t believe her, so she forces him to take a picture of her. In the pic her face is blurred.

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RyŇęji works with media and asks to see the video hoping to figure something out.¬†Reiko doesn’t want to show it to him but gives in. He gets a call too. She also makes him a copy to study.

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RyŇęji ¬†is able to discover a phrase “frolic in brine, goblins be thine” hidden in the video, a saying that came from¬†Izu ŇĆshima¬†Island. That night, Reiko catches her son watching the tape and is now more than ever determined to discover how to defeat the thing that is killing people.¬†Reiko and¬†RyŇęji team up and travel to the island to find out more.

On the island they discover that there used to be a great psychic Shizuko Yamamura. A doctor was working with her, showcasing her powers, but she was denounced a fake and disappered from sight.

The two find the doctor that was working with Shizuko and discover that the doctor had a deeper relationship with¬†Shizuko than just studying her. He was her lover. Shizuko and him sired a child,¬†Sadako, who was uncontrollable. She killed all the horses because they were disturbing her, killed people, etc. The father couldn’t handle her after the mom died and killed her by throwing her down a well. However, that didn’t completely kill Sadako as she¬†psionically¬†put her¬†¬†vengeful spirit into the tape. This spirit or¬†OnryŇ欆killed the teenagers.

The two go back to the Cabin because that is where the videotape surfaced. They uncover a well and try to empty it to appease her spirit.¬†Minutes before the seven days are up, Reiko finally finds Sadako’s corpse at the bottom. She hugs her and kisses her forehead, giving her “a mother’s love”. When nothing happens to Reiko, they believe that the curse is broken.

All seems fine until the next day.¬†RyŇęji is at his home and his TV switches on by itself showing the image of a well. The ghost of Sadako crawls out of the well and out of RyŇęji’s TV set.

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This wasn’t very creepy which disappointed me. I mean that was the whole buildup right? Well it just seemed very fake to me as she takes FOREVER to crawl across the floor.

So as¬†RyŇęji is dying he manages to dial Reiko’s number. She realizes the curse wasn’t broken and tries to figure out wat she did differently. She goes over everything she’s did in the past seven days and realizes what she did that¬†RyŇęji didn’t‚Äďcopying the tape and showing it to Ryuji. ¬†Reiko figures out that by having her son make a copy and give it to someone is the only way to save her son. The last shot is her driving to her father’s and talking to him on the phone letting him know that her son has a video to show him. (I know HORRIBLE BETRAYAL)

It was pretty creepy and compelling, but the last part when¬†Sadako comes was just not creepy. But this film is worth a watch. What’s interesting is that the director¬†K√īji Suzuki¬†got his inspiration for the Ringu novel, which the film is based on, from his favorite horror movie¬†Poltergeist.

Here is a cover page/poster for facebook I made as part of my countdown to Halloween.

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Hello? Is There a Killer in My Kitchen?

I know how much we all love to make fun of these. ūüėÄ I also just had to post this on a Friday the 13th.

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(Especially a Friday the 13th in the year 2013! Oooh, scary! LOL!)182536591116653346_zgp9ZO7d_c

If you are into scary movies then I suggest reviewing Horrorfest: 31 Day of Terror and Woe. Also keep your eyes peeled for a sequel!

And if you want to continue in this Friday the 13th mood, check out Camp Blood: Friday the 13th (1980) and A Deliciously Creepy Tale: Butterfinger the 13th.

Looking Back, Moving Forward

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Happy New Year Everyone!

I hope you all had a fun new years eve and safely enjoyed yourself. I went to two parties; both of which bored me :(, oh well there’s always next year. ūüôā

Anyways, I thought it might be fun to do a year in review type thing as I start out with the great things that happened this year and what I hope to bring in the future! ūüėÄ

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How could any guy hate this color?

1) The Views

So according to WordPress I received 2000 views on my blog this year. Wow, that is more than I thought I would get and I would like to thank all of you for being a part of this. It really makes me feel as if I am doing something special to see that.

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2) #1 Post

Also according to WordPress, my most popular day was October 31st . Surprisingly; instead of the number one post being¬†Everyone‚Äôs Entitled to One Good Scare: Halloween (1978), which I posted that day;¬†I Bid You Welcome: Dracula (1931)¬†took the lead. It still remains the number one viewed post. #2 was¬†A Fright on Halloween Night: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1949), #3¬†Grimwood Ghouls‚Äô Gym Teacher: Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School (1988), #4¬†A Monster Race: Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf (1988), #5¬†Quite A Horror Story: Agatha Christie‚Äôs Poirot Hallowe‚Äôen Party (2011), and #6 being By George He’s Perfect.

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3) The Followers

I just found out that I know have fourteen followers! That’s amazing! I want to thank each of you that chooses to come back and check out my blog. It really puts a smile on my face to know that my thoughts and views interest others.

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Now that we have reviewed some stats lets move on to reviewing the highlights of the past posts!

The many handsome men who have played Mr. Darcy

The many handsome men who have played Mr. Darcy

4) Mr. Darcy

I also started the first of Mr. Darcy filled posts. There will be many, many more to come as there is just so much to say about him. My favorite Darcy filled posts were Darcy’s Dream Date¬†and The Beauty of Darcy. I recommend reading both, but especially the second!

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4) The Verne Saga

In September, a guy named Verne tried to hit on me, but I brushed him off never thinking I would see him again. That was proved wrong as he kept popping up. To read the whole story check out Flirting With Disaster, Bowled Over, Bad Penny, and Return of the Verne.

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5) Character Sketches

I did two posts of literary/film characters I really like and admire. Forney Hull from Where the Heart Is, and George Knightly from Emma. I hope to do more later on, as it is something I enjoy doing.

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images-26)Embarrassing Moments

I always have embarrassing moments, and I did post a few. If you want a good laugh; check out Doors of Death, Walkin’ Round, Color Me Red, etc.

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7) Horrorfest

For the month of October, I posted a blog everyday that reviewed/had to do with a monster/horror/suspense movie. It was an enormous feat and took a lot of time to do. There were many days when I almost gave up, but I ended up completing my goal and posting all 31. This is something I plan to do again next October, along with possibly doing something in February for Valentine’s Day. The films I reviewed were¬†The Phantom of the Opera¬†(1925),¬†Dracula¬†(1931),¬†Frankenstein¬†(1931),¬†The Bride of Frankenstein¬†(1935),¬†The Legend of Sleepy Hollow¬†(1949),¬†The Bad Seed¬†(1956),¬†The Giant Behemoth¬†(1959),¬†Carnival of Souls¬†(1962),¬†Night of the Living Dead¬†(1968),¬†Attack of the Killer Tomatoes¬†(1978),¬†Halloween¬†(1978),¬†Friday the 13th¬†(1980),¬†Poltergeist (1982),¬†Nightmare on Elm Street¬†(1984),¬†The Black Cauldron¬†(1985),¬†Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School (1988),¬†Scooby-Doo and the Reluntant Werewolf¬†(1988),¬†¬†Arachnophobia¬†(1990),¬†The Addam’s Family Values¬†(1993),¬†The Cable Guy¬†(1996),¬†Phantom of the Megaplex¬†(2000),¬†The Secret Window¬†(2004),¬†The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari¬†(2005),¬†Perfect Stranger¬†(2007),¬†Aliens in the Attic (2009), and¬†Agatha Christe’s Poirot: Halloween Party¬†(2011).

The days I didn’t review a film I talked about Universal’s classic monster films, the internet movie Butterfinger the 13th, the Even Stevens Halloween Special, Archie’s Weird Mysteries: Attack of the Killer Spuds, and the Austen men in Halloween costumes.

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8) Christmas Failure

I tried to do 12 posts of Christmas reviewing Christmas films, but I just became too sick to continue it. I was only able to do five posts about Christmas films-The 12 Men of Christmas, The Santa Clause, Borrowed Hearts, Holiday in Handcuffs, and The Bishop’s Wife. I did one Jane Austen birthday post that I tied into Christmas, a post I know you Austenites would love. And¬†I did a final post listing off six of my favorite songs of Christmas to “equal” 12 “posts”. I’m sorry I had to disappoint you.

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Well I hope you’ve enjoyed the posts of this past year, I loved writing them. Here’s to a new year full of new surprises, ideas, and adventures. I wish you all the very best in the upcoming year; may it satisfy you all and me a memorable time. Happy New Year!

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I think it will be one lucky year, no matter what the superstitious say!

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For another holiday post go to It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Whatever You Do Don’t Fall Asleep: A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

¬†Whatever you do don’t fall asleep

Like a mentioned in the Friday the 13th post, I had wanted to watch the Big 3; Halloween, Friday the 13th, and Nightmare on Elm Street. Three classic horror films that changed the whole genre, generating countless sequels. While Friday the 13th and Halloween were actually good, Nightmare on Elm Street sucked. It was so, so, so, so bad. I was so disappointed in Wes Craven the Scream King, I thought it had so much potential to be better.

Shame on you Wes Craven

The beginning was awful as they tried to mimic Psycho, having the first character we are introduced to die off, but it was just done poorly. We never really had a sense of her character, so we never connected to Tina like we did to Janet Leigh’s character Marion.

The main lead character Nancy was just annoying. To be honest, I didn’t care whether she lived or not. I just wanted her off the screen.

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Freddy Kreuger was gross looking but not that scary.

But he does look and act like a child pedophile. It fits him perfectly. It’s really funny, but Freddy’s name was inspired by a bully who used to pick on Wes Craven all the time. I guess Wes got the final punch in that as he is now associated with a psycho-killer and pedophile.

The only really thing that is really good about this film is Johnny Depp.

Much better hair here than in The Secret Window.

This was the first acting job he had and the only reason he got it was because the producer’s daughter thought he was hot. Thank you for that, as this movie would have completely sucked without him.

When you watch the trailer it actually looks like it will be creepy, plus they have the freaky song.

The only creepy part is when Freddy comes through the phone and french kisses her. It was so gross, my friends and I all started screaming at the top of our lungs!

I’m your boyfriend now Nancy!

The end was really dumb too. Wes Craven’s original ending sounded so creepy and freaky; but he changed it for the dumbest thing ever.

I heard the newest film was pretty creepy and in that one Freddy isn’t a pedophile they kill, but he is an innocent man and that is why he is back to get revenge. I might check that one and see if it truly is better.

That’s our post for today! More to come! 2 Days ‘Till Halloween!

Here’s a cover page/poster for my facebook page as part of my countdown to Halloween

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To start¬†Horrorfest¬†from the beginning, go to¬†I Don’t Belong in the World

For the previous post, go to¬†When Horror Doesn’t Stay on the Screen

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For more on Freddy Krueger, go to Krueger Town

For more on psychopaths, go to I Can Be Your Best Friend Ot Your Worst Enemy

For more on Johnny Depp, go to The Only Thing That Matters is the Ending

For more films that spanned sequels, go to¬†They’re Coming to Get You Barbara

For more films that suck, go to A Squashed Mess

A Deliciously Creepy Tale: Butterfinger the 13th (2011)

You can’t scream with your mouth full!

So last year I had an article pop up on my facebook newsfeed. This article talked about how Rob Lowe was creating a mini movie/webisode/webovie thing that was a parody of Friday the 13th, and was supported and revolving around butterfingers. I saw the trailer and thought it looked interesting. However, I was not prepared for how awesome it was!

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It had some silly funny moments as it had all the classic components of Friday the 13th, along with the structure of “standard” horror films. It also had cheesy moments, but then some truly creepy parts. It also made me want to eat butterfingers, which I had none of.¬† ¬†ūüė¶

To be honest, I never should have doubted Rob Lowe. Not only is he sexy and a talented actor, we can also add fantastic director to his resume. (I love Rob Lowe! The Outsiders sealed the deal for me)

Anyways, you should definetly check it out, it is one great story! Just don’t forget to have a butterfinger handy.

Oooooo! We have made it all the way to 13th posts! One has been posted everyday! Yay! Only 18 more to go! Happy Halloween everyone, I hope you have been enjoying this countdown as much as I have.

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To start¬†Horrorfest¬†from the beginning, go to¬†I Don’t Belong in the World

To read the previous post, go to Camp Blood

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For more on Friday the 13th, go to Hello? Is There a Killer in My Kitchen?

For more on Butterfingers, go to Candy, Candy, Candy

For more horror parodies, go to¬†Grimwood Ghoul’s Gym Teacher

For more psychological thrillers, go to The Only Thing That Matters is the Ending