A Trip to the Mall Turns into the Twilight Zone

So if you’ve been around since the very, very beginning of the creation of this blog, then you will remember that this isn’t my first blog. You see, I read this book Considering Lily, and the main character in there reminded me of myself and made me want to create a blog like she does. My friend Elaine also encouraged me after we had a particularly strange encounter at the mall. That blog was called My Life is a Movie. However, I stupidly forgot to bookmark the page and when I tried to go back to write more on that blog I could not find it at all. I also discovered that there are many, many, many, many blogs who share that name or a variation of it. I gave up and decided blogging wasn’t for me. That is until six months later, after I had finished reading Emma. I loved the book and saw so many similarities that I decided to create a blog, and that dear readers is how Jane Austen Runs My Life was born.

cropped-jatitle2.jpgAnd, that in case you were all wondering, is why it is not only about Jane Austen. That’s how this blog started out, but it quickly expanded into other films and books. However, my Austiniteness will always be the core of these blogs.

Anyways, so what about this Twilight Zone title? Well, I was cleaning through some files and I found two pics I had created and saved from that orginal blog and story. I decided to treat you all with this time capsule as I try and relate this adventure that happened two years ago. I’m so sorry of I leave anything out. So now we shall take a seat in my time machine Delorean and  go back to February 10 or 11 2012 (I know it was before V-Day)

Gonna Go Back in Time!

Since this is a past memory, it must be written in italics. You know, kinda like an old-fashioned diary or something.

So the other day my friend Elaine and I decided that we would go to the mall. She wanted to go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond for something and I wanted to pick something up from Bare Escentuals. She decided to put on her GPS, but there was just one problem. GPSs HATE ME! Every time I get in a car with one we end up in the middle of nowhere, we go in the opposite direction, the GPS malfunctions, takes us through the creepiest areas, etc. I’m not kidding, it is literally every time. I mean once my friend went to the Super Target in the next town, and the next week was going to give me and two of our other friends a ride. Even though she had saved the route from the week before, this next time because I was in the car it took us as far away as possible, even though it said it was saving the exact route.

So we are driving around, when the GPS tells us it has to recalculate. We both look at each other:

Say What

Like what the heck GPS you had nooo reason to recalculate. We didn’t make any wrong turns, or do anything to screw you up. What are you doing? And the little evil thing decided that it was  going to keep doing that to us.

GPS

It just kept doing that nonstop! Recalculate, recalculate, recalculate, again and again and again!!! It made both of annoyed, but I just wanted to take that thing and toss it out the window.

ARRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!

ARRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!

You know I really didn’t like that movie, but I use this screenshot a loooot. It really expresses my emotions sometimes.

So, of course I didn’t toss the GPS, it belonged to my friend. Instead we had to use a mixture of her phone GPS and our memory of where we thought the mall was. We ended up getting there and thought, well everything will be fine and normal now, right? WRONG!!!!

So we park the car and head into Forever 21 so that we could get into the mall and get the items we needed. As we enter Forever 21 we look around the store, and look, and look, and look; and can’t find a way out!

AHHHHHHH!!!!

AHHHHHHH!!!!

I am serious there is NO WAY OUT!  We can’t even find the way we entered. I’m like I”M STUCK IN HERE FOREVER!!!!!!! THAT’S WHY IT’S CALLED FOREVER 21, I WILL BE IN HERE FOR 21 YEARS!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so let’s get serious. I felt like I was going to be stuck in there, but not for years. Just hours. So the reason we couldn’t find a way out was that it turns out that they had all these mirrors hanging strategically in front of the doors, so unless you looked at the doors from an angle you would only see the clothes reflected back, therefore leaving one to think the store extended farther than it did, and that there was no way out.

Whoever designed that store was like Jigsaw level of sadistic and psychotic.

Whoever designed that store was like Jigsaw level of sadistic and psychotic.

I’m serious, those designers and planners were just plan mean and cruel. Who does that?

So after we had survived the dastardly Forever 21, we continued to our destination, when Elaine says she has to use the bathroom. So we decide that we are not going back into Forever 21, but look through the place for other bathrooms. We found them, but you had to walk down this hallway with black and white checkerboards. We walk and walk and walk and walk  and walk and walk…. Yeah it just seems to go on forever. And those white and black checkerboard tiles, give the hall an appearance of shrinking that we start to feel as if we are in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory or something! 

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Except sadly there was no chocolate or Gene Wilder in this adventure.

gene wilder

So we finally reach the bathroom, and go in. But when we come out it feels so weird. It feels like we have been in the mall for hours and hours, or even days. We both started joking around that when we finally got back to the mall we would be entering the 1960s or something. I have expected Rod Serling to pop out at any moment and say “What started out as just an average day for those two girls, turned out to be a shortcut…into…THE TWILIGHT ZONE.”

To be perfectly honest, I love him so much I wouldn't care if he did pop up like that.

To be perfectly honest, I love him so much I wouldn’t care if he did pop up like that.

So the rest of the trip was pretty normal. We were both freaked out, that we got what we wanted and got outta there. We were able to get past the Forever 21 gauntlet/maze

I can do this....just have to wait for the right time

I can do this….just have to wait for the right time

We get out to the parking lot and when we do we CAN’T FIND THE CAR!

Dude-Where-is-My-Car

And NO we were not high. So we are walking up rows looking for it. Joking, and half-believing, that we will find out that it is parked in a completely different area or back on campus. We finally find it and head home. 

Yep what an adventure right? You might not believe me but its true.

Like that's happen

I swear. And I have never been back to that Forever 21 because it is tooo creepy to do that again. Stick to the Disney store, its safe. 🙂

You May Screw Up, but You’re Not a Screw Up: Mystic Pizza (1988)

Romantic Moment #2

Mystic_pizza

Mystic Pizza (1988)

Mystic Pizza is a coming of age film that tells the story of three girls, and coworkers at Mystic Pizza, as they set off on different paths. Jojo is supposed to be married, but at her wedding gets cold feet. She wants to stay with her boyfriend, but is afraid to lose herself. Her boyfriend, Bill, is understanding but at the same time doesn’t want to be strung around. He doesn’t just want sex, he wants more, he wants marriage. Beautuful Daisy, is always reckless and the life of the party. She clashes with her mother as she isn’t as sensible as her sister Kat. She gets involved with a rich guy, which her mom tells her won’t last. After he uses her to get back at his family, she breaks off the relationship. Kat was accepted to Yale and is eager to go and study astronomy. Although she is getting a scholarship, she is worried about finances and takes on a second job as a baby-sitter. The wife is out of town and the father starts giving Kat the attention she has never recieved, having been in the shadow of her sister. Kat eagerly spends a night with him only to have his wife return and him treat their “time together” as a buisness transaction, trying to pay her off to not say anything. In the end, Jojo and Bill get married; the only thing changing about her is her name. Daisy’s ex, Charles (the rich boy), listened to what she said about him and comes back to not only apologize but prove to her he’s changed and tries to win her heart back. Kat rejects the dad’s check and forms a better relationship with her sister. Leona, the owner of Mystic Pizza, gives her extra money as she is one of “her girls”.

Most Romantic Moment:

So the girls are going out to have a girl’s night. Kat has the night off, Jo is on the outs with Bill, and Charles has to visit his grandma. The girls get drunk (heavily, except Kat) and steal Bill’s truck that full of fish and fish guts. They decide to drive out to the country club as they like to watch the people dance. When they get there they are having fun, that is until they spot Charlie talking and dancing to a blond girl. It is clear to all that they know each other very well.

Uh. Oh not good, at all. Daisy gets so upset that she goes ballistic!

tumblr_mdka4p1qoq1ryb0hd

She gets in Bill’s truck and dumps all the fish and fish guts in Charlies new red porsche. (Best payback for a cheater ever)

Imagine this full of fish guts! Yuck!

Imagine this full of fish guts! Yuck!

Now I know you are all probably thinking, what’s romantic about this? This guy is a total skeez for cheating on her. Now just wait, I’m getting there.

So Charlie comes out and sees her doing this and freaks. I mean who wouldn’t? I know I’d be royally pissed! Now Daisy is yelling and cussing him out for lying and cheating on her.

Then Charlie tells her he didn’t lie. He was going to his Grandma’s, but she went out of town. He called her house but she was out and her mom had no idea where she was or when she would be back. So he decided to take his little sister out.

That’s right. His sister.

images-2

So Daisy feels super stupid. And you know what Charles does next? I’ll tell you, and let me say it is pretty romantic.

“Daisy: I f***** up. 

Charles Gordon Windsor, Jr.: Yeah… but you gave it a 100% effort!”

That’s right ladies and gentlemen, instead of being mad, yelling, screaming, or even lording over Daisy that she was wrong and did something stupid (a reaction that would have been understandable) he tries to make her feel better. His car has fish and fish guts everywhere, which you know will be an absolute PAIN to get clean and it will take forever to get rid of the smell, all he cares about in that moment is making Daisy feel better and make sure she knows that everything is ok. Now you might not agree with me, but I think that is a prime-A sighworthy moment.

So romantic

So romantic

I mean you know how guys get about their cars. Cars are like an extension of themselves, it’s their personal/sacred space. It is their provate domain, their man cave on wheels. And this wasn’t a trashy car, this was a new porsche convertible. And to not say anything, wow this guy is great. I mean its true he does have a few kinks to workout, he is a fixer-upper (who isn’t?),  but he’s worth having.

Here’s the scene for you guys. It’s great!

“Daisy: [After Charles tries to make her feel better] You’re weird

Charles Gordon Windsor, Jr.: I’m weird? [Looks at car, then at Daisy] I’m weird? [takes Daisy’s hand]

So adorable!

Tune in tomorrow for another romantic post!

To check out another Julia Robert’s post go here.