Jane Austen Eyes

So we all have heard about Bette Davis Eyes, right?

Well I have Jane Austen eyes.

I know you are thinking, uh what does that mean?

So I was reading an article about how they studied two of Jane Austen’s eyeglasses and how bad her eyesight got at the end. They discussed how much her sight regressed, and think that arsenic might be the cause. If you’d like to read more follow this link.

But the part that really stood out to be was this part of the article:

“Tests showed they increased in strength from +1.75 in each eye from the first pair to +4.75 and +5.0 in the final pair-meaning she would have found it very difficult to see well enough to read or write by the time she died.”

That was what caught me!

“…she would have found it very difficult to see well enough to read or write by the time she died.”

That’s my eyesight!

My right eye is 5.0 and my left 4.75. So that means that if I lived in Regency England I “…would have found it very difficult to see well enough to read or write…”

What???!!!

It’s horrible! I can’t imagine not being able to read!

I can’t imagine a sadder life.

But on the plus side, I do have something in common with Jane Austen not everyone does. I have her eyes.

And thank goodness I live in today’s time so I have good glasses and can read. My life would be so sad and boring without it.

For more on glasses, go to Eye Guess I Won’t Be Seeing You

For more on Jane Austen, go to In Honor of Jane

For more book posts, go to Cats, Books, & Tea

 

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Eye Guess I Won’t Be Seeing You

So I hate going to the doctors. You have to wait forever, and then they give you a millisecond after all the paperwork and time spent with dumb old magazines.

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There is only one doctor I don’t mind visiting, the eye doctor/optometrist.

Say What

I only go once a year, I get in fast, spend some time looking through lenses at a sign on the wall; and then I’m out and off with my life.

No problem at all.

No problem at all.

This time however things were a little different.

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So I went in for my yearly visit as I have to buy new glasses. My old ones the bridge is messed up and scratching my nose and irritating my skin.

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While I was there the doctor asked me if she could dilute my eyes.

UHHHHHHHH!!!!

UHHHHHHHH!!!!

I had no idea what that was but since she had never done it and I have to do it every so many years I agreed.

I don't need it.

I don’t need it.

I asked if I needed to call a ride or anything, but she said I should be fine to drive. It was mostly going to affect my vision of things close up, like reading, but far away should be okay.

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She then pulled out this weird creepy headpiece that looked like it was from a horror film or something.

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She put the drops in my eyes and of course wore the headpiece and checked me out.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

I passed, but afterwards things were weird.

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It was so hard to read anything, I felt like a 40 year old woman or something. I could only look at things after they were a foot away from my body.

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I had such a hard time paying my bill.

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The light was also super bright in the store.

The light burns.

The light burns.

I was told that it would be blinding outside and given special lens to wear under my glasses. I walked outside and the light was crazy bright in my face. I had to shut my eyes and pull out the lenses to block out the pain.

It burns

It burns

I felt like a vampire or something.

Dracula

I tried to drive, but the power of the sun was just too strong I had to call for a ride.

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Having your eyes diluted is one of the weirdest things ever. Your pupil is so big and black you look possessed or something.

DemonDean MonsterSupernatural

I had to shun the light and the day, instead becoming a creature of the night.

But something terrible lurks inside.

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For more doctor visits, go to Avengers Assemble

For more on glasses, go to Not a Hipster, But an O.F.

For more stories on my everyday life, go to My Trip to Teavana

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Now in other news, today is a very special day in our world & nation’s history. I would just like to take the time to give a shout out to all the veterans who have served, and all the troops currently serving.  Thank you so much for everything you have done and for all the sacrifices you have made. I am so happy to live in a country that gives honor to those who deserve it for all that they do. Happy Veteran’s Day!

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Not a Hipster, But an O.F.

I hate hipsters.

Guy you suck!

Guys you suck!

Every hipster I have ever met have been these horrible elitist who think they are better than everyone.

MeanGirls I know right!

Ugh. They drive me crazy. They take all the stuff I have loved for years and jack up the prices. Oh, and don’t get me started on their fake glasses wearing. Wearing glasses can be a hard life and the people who do face all kinds of challenges and it bugs me to no end to see these people wear them for “fashion.” It’s like people walking around with hearing-aids for “fashion”. It’s so rude.

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I just can’t stand them, and to make things even worse everyone thinks I’m one.

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You see I have always loved older things. I love classic literature (and actually have read them, not just pretended).

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I love records, especially the art of the album cover!

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I only like music from the past as that is what I grew up listening and I just cannot connect to modern music.

OldiesButGoodies

I love classic cinema as that is what my mom used to show us when we were growing up. I remember being the only kid who liked “black and white” films.

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Or the only one who knew Alfred Hitchcock, William Powell, Errol Flynn, Laurence Oliver, Gregory Peck, Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart, etc were.

I can only pick 5?

I also only shopped at thrift stores as it was cheap and my family stressed the idea of using something until it was broken and unfixable. For instance I carried a CD player around with me into high school. Yes about 6 years ago when everyone had an iPod or something, I was still carrying my CD player to school and CDs to change them out.

So people think I’m a hipster, but I was doing far before the “hipster” movement came out.

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Like Ginger said, I was raised old fashioned. And that’s how I like it.

It is the truth.

It is the truth.

That’s how I was raised. Vintage, old, historic, traditional; these were a way of life for us, and especially me.

OldFashioned

That’s right. I don’t follow the current trends, even if they are “new-old” ones. I do what I like and enjoy the things I love. Sometimes the books, clothing, film, or even dating styles I like aren’t popular:

OldFashionedDating

But I don’t care if it goes against the crowd or isn’t what “everyone else is doing”. I enjoy the things I enjoy and I’m going to keep living my life the way it is.

RebelBeMyself

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For more on being old-fashioned, go to It’s Not Old…It’s Vintage

For more on hipsters, go to We’re in the Future: Good-bye 2015

For more in Italo Calvino, go to Baby Jane Austen

For more Ginger Rogers, go to Food, Food, Food!

You Look Beautiful Just the Way You Are: How to Marry a Millionaire (1953)

Romantic Moment #7
HowtomarryaMillionaireHow to Marry a Millionaire (1953)

This is a silly romantic film from the 1950s, and one of Marilyn Monroe’s most known films. So we have three department store models create a scheme in order to land rich millionaires. Schatze Page (Lauren Bacall) heads up the group. Schatze had been married to a gas pump attendent who used her for money and kept running out on her.

A-Girl-Needs-A-Man-With-Real-Intentions

After she was granted her divorce, she decided instead of marrying for love, she would marry for stability. She gets Pola Debevoise (Marilyn Monroe) to join her in her scheme. Pola’s issue is that she is extremely near-sighted, but doesn’t like to wear glasses as “Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.” To fill out their group, they ask ditzy Loca Dempsey (Betty Grable) to join them.

The three rent a furnished penthouse apartment from an IRS fugitive Freddy Denmark (David Wayne), in hopes to appear wealthy to rich men. Loca immediately brings home a man she met in the grocery store, Tom Brookman (Cameron Mitchell). He becomes very interested in Schatze, but Schatze takes one look at him and judges him as too poor for her. In reality, Tom is extremely wealthy.

Schatze sets her sights on the wealthy, older, Texan, J.D. Hanley played by the handsome William Powell. She tries to convince him that she loves him and wants to marry him, but J.D. thinks they are too far apart in age. Hey, for William Powell I wouldn’t care how far in ages we were.

oldattracted to actors twice my age

Tom continues to pursue Schatze, but she says no again and again.

Meanwhile Loca has met a wealthy married businessman. He invites her to his lodge in Maine for the weekend (wanting a mistress). Loca thinks it is a meeting with Elk’s Lodge members. Schatze tells her not to go, but Loca goes down and discovers that all the guy was interested in was an affair, not marriage. She intends to return home to New York, but the two contract the measles. She and him have to stay on extra time, with Loca recovering much sooner. She finds herself spending time with her nurse, and the area’s forest ranger, Eben (Rory Calhoun). She starts falling for him, and he proposes, but Loca unsure of whether to marry him as he is poor.

Then we have Pola who is getting into scrape after scrape as she trips over this, mistakes that, etc. She meets a phony Arab Tycoon who wears an eye patch and invites her to come with him to Atlantic City to “meet his mother.” Schatze warns Pola not to go as “no mothers live in Atlantic City”. Pola doesn’t listen, but finds herself on a plane to Kansas City as she misread the sign. Her seatmate happens to be Freddy Denmark, who is on his way to get his crooked accountant and make him pay. The two spend the whole flight talking.

Back in New York, J.D. returns as he realizes that he wants Schatze in his life. They get ready for the wedding, when the girls show up. Loca decides that she’d rather have her hunky mountain man than a millionaire. Pola chooses the now penniless fugitive rather than any tycoon. Schatze laughs at them for being chumps, but finds herself unable to marry J.D. as she loves Tom. Her and Tom talk it out and the two marry. That evening the six are eating at a diner celebrating and goofing around how much money they have when Tom reveals his net worth. The girls are in shock and faint at it.

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*******Most Romantic Moment*******

So the part that I think is just so romantic is when Pola is on the plane with Freddy Denmark. So before I get into that, let’s discuss Pola a bit more. So every scene we have Pola crashing into something and everyone asking her why don’t you just wear your glasses if you can’t see? Pola tells them she can’t as men don’t like girls with glasses. Now I know this may be hard for many of you to understand with the whole hipster glasses being a cool thing, but growing up with glasses is difficult.

glassesnotafashionaccessory

It’s hard being picked on by being called four eyes, having to wake up every morning and being unable to see, having to deal with the glasses vs. sunglasses problem, the expense of contacts, etc…and of course being told time and time again that glasses will make you impossible to catch a date ever.

Now as Pola is waiting on the plane flying to Kansas City, Freddy Denmark, her seatmate notices that she is doing some odd things. He realizes that she isn’t wearing her glasses and asks her why. When she tells him that guys don’t like girls with glasses, Freddy tells her to put them on and test it out. She does and Freddy tells her that she is crazy as she was beautiful before but even better with them on.

Perfect!

Perfect!

Unless you grew up being bullied for wearing glasses you won’t understand how truly romantic that is to hear. Oh Freddy! I’d marry you too.

HowtoMarryaMillionaireGirlinGlasses

In fact this was so romantic they reprised this scene in Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs and hit on what it’s like really well.

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And don’t forget: beYourself Beauty

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To start Romance is in the Air: Part III from the beginning, go to I Can See Your Beauty: The Breakfast Club (1985)

For the previous post, go to I’m Here For You: The Italian Job (2003)

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For more on Coco Chanel, go to Sisterly Roles

For more quotes, go to Shall We Dance?: What Happens in Vegas (2008)