Catherine Morland’s Reading List: The Night Gardener

What is Catherine Morland’s Reading ListThe idea came mostly from the fact that I am a huge Gothic fiction/mystery fan. Before I met Jane Austen I devoured books, (and I still do), that I know, if Catherine Morland was real and alive, she would be reading or interested in reading.

It started with one review, and then before I knew it I had a list of thirty I was planning on reviewing. What can I say, other than:

The Night Gardener by Jonathan Auxier

So I have been wanting to read this book FOREVER. But every time I would check it out, I wouldn’t get a chance-I’d have too many books checked out, things happened, I’m too busy, etc-and I would have to return it.

Finally the stars aligned and I was able to read it. The book is written for middle schoolers and a quick read-made even quicker by the fact that as soon as I started reading it, it sucked me in.

I can’t put the book down

The book takes place during the Irish Potato Famine and two siblings emigrate from Ireland to England to work at a country estate: Kip and Molly. Molly is older and made the arrangements to work, job they are in dire need of as their parents are dead (something Molly has kept hidden from Kip). Molly uses stories to distract and cheer Kip, who is gifted with a green thumb, but suffers from lame leg.

As they travel to the Windsor manor they get stopped by a gypsy fortune teller who tells them the house they are going to is haunted.

Yes, years ago when the current Master Windsor was a boy something killed his family, he was the only one to survive, escaping to family in London. It was very mysterious and strange, and many believe it to be ghosts, a monster, or something.

Kip starts wondering if there is truth to the tales, but Molly ignores it. It can’t be true, she needs it to be not be true as they need these jobs.

Please, oh please! from Death Comes to Pemberley

When they get there, the house is nothing like Molly thought it would be. The house is beautiful but dirty and not kept up at all-things look like they haven’t been washed in forever, there is dust and dirt everywhere, etc.

Haunted house!

There is also a giant, black, gnarled, tree that is connected to the house, as if it grew into it or the house was built into the tree. Looking at it, it makes both Molly and Kip uncomfortable-although they are not sure why.

The family is very unusual, cold, and greedy. Mr. Windsor stutters, has no gumption, and is a pale dark haired man who is constantly trying to get money. He has a secret study that no one is allowed to enter. Constance is cold and harsh toward the “help” as she calls them, in fact she won’t let Kip in the house as her family might catch what he has and become cripples too (her word). She was used to the fine life in London and misses it. She has a ton of rings on her fingers and always seems to be getting more somehow. Very odd as the Windsor family complains about a lack of funds.

Hmm…

The son Alistair is greedy boy who is always eating candy and is cruel to his sister. But where does he get this candy from. He has dark hair like his father and mother.

Penny is the youngest and is greedy for stories and attention, but otherwise is a good child. She is enthralled with Molly’s copper hair, something she used to have. Molly thinks that is odd, even more so when she sees a portrait of them on the wall-all with bright skin, bright colored hair-nothing like the dour, dark haired, and ghostly pale skin they have now.

Hmm…

Kip starts working in the yard and loves growing things, but still feels unease about that tree. But there are things down in the yard he did not do. Things planted. But who could be doing that?

Hmm…

The longer they stay there the harder it is to leave. At night they have bad dreams and hear something stalking in the night. Penny tells Molly of a night man in the house clomping through and going outside. Molly doesn’t believe her…at first, but then one night, she is sneaking her brother into the house and the two see a man-a ghostly, creepy, scary man who works on the yard but espechially with the dark and disturbing tree.

Creepy…

Then Molly discovers a secret. The tree in the house grants you a wish of your heart-but once given it is impossible to stop going back. Constance Windsor had a ring that was worth nothing, but given before Mr. Windsor made money. He sold it when they needed funds and the tree gave her a copy, and she can’t stop trying to get it back.

Alistair’s favorite memory was when his father and him spent the day together and went to a candy store. He can’t stop getting or eating candy, trying to relive the memory. Penny has special books that are stories about her. For Molly she gets letters from her parents, letters that tell of the same stories she has been feeding her brother.

Wow!

But Molly quickly learns to be careful for what you wish for as the price might be more than you want to pay. She too finds herself becoming bound to the tree, her copper hair and imaginative self being sucked away as she waits for more letters. Will Molly and Kip be able to save themselves and the Windsor family? Or will they meet their end?

Hmmm…

I LOVED this book. It was so spooky and reminded me of other Gothic tales I grew up reading. I espechially loved the imagery of the tree feeding on them, stealing their souls essentially, taking from them and they know it is feeding off them-but they can’t stop it.

Creepy…

It was extremely spooky and creepy-just how I like it.

For more from Catherine Morland’s Reading List, go to Secrets of the Heart

For more Gothic Fiction, go to House of Salt and Sorrows

Holy Smokes! Your Mom’s a Werewolf!: My Mom’s a Werewolf (1989)

Holy smokes! Your mom’s a werewolf.

Really?

This was the weirdest movie I have ever seen.

It looked like a fun ’80s horror film, but it was not.

So Leslie Shaber is your average housewife-who is extremely bored. Her daughter, Jennifer, is a mean sarcastic teenager who doesn’t want to spend any time with her, her husband works late and then is glued to the TV, the only excitement she gets is making up new and strange (gross looking) dishes that she eats alone.

Her daughter takes off to go to some Horror convention with her best friend Stacey who loves it-and is totally me and my love of classic horror. It also makes me think of someone else…

While Stacey is off on a booth, Jennifer goes to the gypsy and gets a prophecy from the gypsy fortune teller. She tells Jennifer that she has the mark of the pentagram, and will be attacked by a werewolf.

There have been strange attacks going on with a man hunting people.

Hmm…I feel like this information will come in handy later. From Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Meanwhile, Leslie has become angry and her husband and kids and decides to go off to shop away her bad feelings. She stops at the pt store and meets a strange red-eyed man Harry Thropen. Oh no, this dude is trouble. Stay away from him.

From The Twilight Zone

Leslie leaves and a thief tries to steal her bag, but Thropen comes to rescue and saves her belongings. He invites her to come to lunch, brainwashing her with his powers to come with him.

That’s not good.

They go out to lunch, where Jennifer comes upon them as she had a change of heart and wants to fix things between her mom and dad. She planned on bringing her flowers to try and pretend it is from her dad, but when she spots her mom eating with another man-she’s drops them and follows her.

Thropen convinces Leslie to go off with him, again using his powers, and they start getting down, showing way more than I would have expected with a PG rating. He is kissing her legs, when he bites her toe. That makes Leslie mad as it hurts and she snaps out of it and heads home,  Jennifer having witnessed the whole thing.

Leslie goes home and daughter is extra angsty and angry. Leslie is upset about her cheating and makes her husband the perfect meal and later-because if you haven’t guessed yet, she was bitten by werewolf-and is beginning to transform-is in the mood to be with her husband- her and her husband being extremely loud that night with their daughter in the house.

After that Thropen wants her and Leslie starts turning into the werewolf. First her teeth start growing fanglike and she goes to see a dentist who gets his jollies filing her teeth down. He’s like the freak dentist in Little Shop of Horrors

Now this is where the movie gets weirder. Leslie looks like this:

But  Jennifer is the only one who sees her and finds it weird. Like Leslie goes to the beauty shop like that and no one freaks out about how she looks.

That night Jennifer is holding a Halloween party and Leslie spends forever in Jennifer’s bathroom trying to get rid of her werewolf hair and such. I don’t know she doesn’t use her own (as it is off-limits to the party guests) It makes a huge line as all the guests wait outside to use the bathroom. It doesn’t do much as she can’t stop the hair from growing.

I’m a mess

So this film is really boring. I checked out of it. She keeps turning, she fights with the family, and she has a huge fight with Thorpen. Do be honest I didn’t care about the characters they all are rude, angry, don’t listen to each other, etc.

Ugh…

And a news crew shows up and films them, everyone knows at the end that werewolves are real?

In the end Jennifer transforms into a werewolf because she slayed the werewolf? What lore is that?

For more ’80s films, go to They Choose the Wrong Person to Be a Hero: Dark Crystal (1982)

For more on werewolves, go to Women are Like Werewolves

For more gypsies, go to Gypsy Justice: Thinner (1996)

Gypsy Justice: Thinner (1996)

Thinner-1996-In-Hindi

Justice, ain’t about bringing back the dead, white man. Justice, is about justice. Your friend the policeman, your friend the judge, they make sure nothing happen to you. They keep you safe. But I make sure something happen to them. That justice, white man. Gypsy justice!

It’s that time of the year again. Our annual Stephen King Post. Now some of his film’s I do like, The Secret Window, Children of the Corn, The Shining, etc. Thinner is not one of them.

Now this doesn’t have all the usual tropes:

But it is kind of a lame story. Let’s get started before I give too much away.

So Billy Halleck is an obese lawyer.

jamaicainneatfooddinner

{Now the film is set in modern times, I just felt like using an old photo from a previous post.} Anyways, he lives with his wife Heidi and their daughter Linda. Heidi tries to get him to stop eating:

Heidi Halleck: Billy, you’ve got to stop eating like that. I want you to stop digging your grave with a spoon and fork.

But Billy can’t stop, he loves food too much.

Whatever.jpg cheese fries

Billy has just helped a Mafioso, Richie, get off from going to prison. Something his wife also finds fault in him.

Meanwhile, in the town Billy lives in, there is a carnival, one which is run by gypsies. One day his wife is distracting him, by doing oral sex, and he hits and kills a gypsy woman.

Spoke too soon

You need to leave gypsy women alone. They can lay some serious curses.

This gypsy woman, however, dies instantly. The death is ruled an accident and no charges filed. The dead woman’s 106 year old father, Taduz Lempke, is angry that Billy got off so easily and curses him, saying to him “Thinner”.

OMG

So Billy keeps losing more and more weight. No matter what he eats, he keeps getting thinner and thinner.

He's getting emaciated

He’s getting emaciated, almost as thin as this guy.

Heidi calls in a doctor, Dr. Mike Houston, who can’t find anything to help him. So the doctor decides to help himself to Billy’s wife.

howyoudoingfriendsjoey

Billy enlists the help of Richie and they begin to wage a war on the gypsies. Billy’s friend, the Judge who let him off, also gets cursed, “Lizard”. He commits suicide as he can’t stand looking at himself anymore. It all comes to a head when Richie kidnaps Taduz’s granddaughter, Gina, intending to kill her, but stopped by Bill.

escalatedquickly

Taduz finally agrees to lift the curse, but only if they promise to leave him and his family alone. With Billy’s agreement, Taduz makes a pie from Billy’s blood. Whoever eats the piewill die, and Billy will gain more weight.

Need Pie

Taduz tells Billy he should eat the pie himself, and die honorably, but Billy has decided that this pie is going toward the people he wants revenge on.

In this case it is fattening as it will help Bill gain weight.

In this case it is fattening as it will help Billy gain weight.

He calls his daughter and tells her that he is doing better and she should spend the night at a friend’s house. He then goes home and gives the pie to his cheating wife.

PieTwinPeaks

That night he puts the rest of the pie in the fridge and goes to sleep. The next day he wakes up and Heidi is dead.

AWESOME!!!

AWESOME!!!

But when he goes downstairs he discovers that Linda has eaten some of the pie. That means in his quest of selfishness, to get revenge on his wife and her lover, he has just killed his own daughter.

Jerk

He decides to head the gypsies advice and eat the pie, killing himself, when the doorbell rings. It’s the Dr. Houston, the man his wife was having an affair with!

Billy then decides to give this doctor the pie and complete his revenge.

Billy Halleck: Dr. Mikey! A bit early for a house call, isn’t it?

Dr. Mike Houston: Oh, Billy! It’s- it’s not what you think! I…

Billy Halleck: It’s okay, Dr. Mikey. I was acting like kind of a big jerk. But, everything’s fine with Heidi, I’m even starting to gain a little weight. In fact, I was just about to dig into this breakfast pie. Care to join me?

Dr. Mike Houston: I couldn’t possibly…

Billy Halleck: Oh, it’s no trouble at all…

[Dr. Mike Houston enters the house]

Billy Halleck: …white doctor from town [chuckles and shuts door]

Yeah, he seemed to get over the fact he killed his own daughter pretty quickly. What a jerk.

Hate YOu

So yeah, I didn’t like it. I thought it was boring, the main character unlikable, and I hated the fact that He KILLS his daughter he supposedly doted on and had an incredible bond with, and a second later he’s over it and planning revenge. A true dud King, a true dud.

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1996Thinner

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To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to I Do Think You Are Confused, Mrs. Bowman: Dangerous Crossing (1953)

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For more Stephen King films, go to There’s Nothing Out There. Nothing in the Mist: The Mist (2007)

For more on gypsies, go to Beast or Man: The Wolfman (2010)

Beast or Man: The Wolfman (2010)

There is no sin in killing a beast, only in killing a man. But where does one begin and the other end?

So this year I decided to do something very, very different. Now the in the past, all Horrorfests have ended on a film that takes place on Halloween. This wasn’t a credence that I set out to make, it just kind of happened along the way. With Horrorfest I had always planned on ending on Halloween (1978)I knew it was the best way to end the first year with a big bang. Besides, that year I had done the other slasher films that spanned numerous sequels and remakes (Friday the 13th Nightmare on Elm Street). Horrorfest II I was trying to also end on a really great film that would produce the same kind of bang, and decided on Children of the Corn as that film was creepy. It also happened to take place on Halloween.

This year I was trying to decide what would be the best opener and closer. I was originally going to open with Metropolis as I had done a post in July referencing it. But after I wrote that post, it just didn’t speak to me as an opener. I started going through my drafts and that’s when I spotted The Wolf Man (1941)The Wolf Man has to be my favorite of the classic horror film monsters (along with The Phantom of the Opera). I hadn’t had a chance to review it yet, and since it was the last of the classics I decided it should be the opener.

the wolf man

Once I wrote that post, I was so excited. You see, I felt I really couldn’t to a post on any werewolf films until I had covered the first one. I thought it was only right to start with the original. With that done, I could move onto any other werewolf film I desired. The possibilities were endless.

excited

With the beginning finished, I then set my sights on the end. What could I do that would really pop? As I started thinking and looking, I saw my draft for The Wolfman (2010). And that’s when it hit me.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

I could end Horrorfest III with The Wolfman (2010). It could be like bookends!!!! In the beginning the original that started it all  and the end the newest rendition. !!! Yes!! It could work and it will. So here we are The Wolfman (2010).

Double double yay

So a little backstory before we begin the review. As you would have read in an older post, I love The Wolf Man (1941). It is one of my all-time favorite horror films. One day in my photography class, we were watching trailers of different films as we were looking at the cinematography and technique. My teacher was on a Mac which has Front Row, and shows you trailers of the past, present, and future films. One trailer I remember looking at was Nightmare on Elm Street (2010). I wasn’t planning on seeing it, as I hadn’t seen the original. But as we reached the end, I saw The Wolfman.

220px-Wolfman-final-small

I screamed ay my teacher, stop!! I want to see that. So we watched the trailer.

AWESOME!!! RIGHT!!! So I knew there were going to be changes, I knew it was going to be nowhere near as good as the original, but I was soooo pumped!! So I watched the trailer in February 2009, and saw the film was slated for that October. I couldn’t wait!!!

excited

I ticked off the months, but then in October I discovered it wasn’t out in theaters.

Mr-DarcyexcuseMe

Yep, there had been some production problems, so they pushed it back to February. FEBRUARY!!! V-Day weekend. I was upset, but what could I do? I just had to wait it out.

Laura Angry Mad Upset

But then February came and I decided that it would be my V-day present to myself. You see I have never had a boyfriend or date for V-day, so I always just buy myself whatever I want. It’s actually pretty nice as you don’t have to fight with anyone over where to go or what to see; and you are never, ever, ever, disappointed.

perfect plan

I asked a couple of friends who were also single and we bought tickets for opening night. I knew that I wouldn’t be 100% pleased, but I was looking forward to those improved transformation scenes.

So moving on to the review.

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

So let’s go back in time. The year is 1891 and we are in England. Lawrence Talbot (Benicio del Toro) is the second son of Sir John Talbot (Anthony Hopkins). He and his dad had a lot of issues and problems so he left as soon as he could. Since then he has been a renowned Shakespearean actor, famous throughout all England for his Hamlet and Macbeth.

the wolfman play acting stage

He recieves a letter from a Gwen Conliffe (Emily Blunt). She was engaged to his older brother Ben, but he has been murdered. Not only was he murdered, but horribly mangled by something. When Lawrence gets the news, he immediately returns home for the funeral.

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When he gets there he sees his father and the two have a harsh welcome. Unlike The Wolf Man (1941), where father and son were trying to work on repairing their relationship, Sir John doesn’t care. He still has huge issues with his son not being what he wants him to be. The way that Sir John treats him, causes Lawrence to want to leave, and go far away…but he can’t. He has to properly say good-bye to his brother.

the wolfman funeral 2010

Lawerence does try to get away from his father as he knows staying near him will just cause more fights. He also really wants to see his brother. So he heads down to the local slaughterhouse where the body is kept before burial.

ew! Gross Yuck

I know but you have to remember this is a small village in 19th century England. They didn’t have a mortuary to hold the body until burial. They also didn’t understand how diseases spread and that it is not a good idea to have a dead body near your food.

There at the slaughterhouse, the butcher gives Laurence his brother’s items, that is everything found on him at the time of his death.

The_Wolf_Man_4Crying sad

Later that night he heads over to the local pub for a drink and overhears the gossip on the murder. Most of the villagers blame a band of gypsies. Not long after they moved into the area, Ben was murdered. In fact, someone remembers a case occuring years earlier of gypsies moving into the area and dead bodies surfacing. As they discuss this, Laurence remembers that Ben had had a gypsy medallion on him.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

This is the first time that Laurence has ever met his brother’s fiance Gwen. Now for you Wolf Man fans, you should recognize that it is the same name given to Laurence’s love interest in the original film. Except in that film she was to marry the hunter/groundsman of the Talbot estates. Anyways, Laurence meets her and can instantly see why his brother fell for her, as he himself is attracted to her.

Gwen-and-Lawrence-the-wolfman-2010-32634613-1280-688

Of course Lawrence is the most amazing, gentleman/good guy that he would never ever think of putting the moves on her. He does thank her for trying to be there for his father and for everything. He also let’s her know that if she ever needs him, he’ll be there for him.

Gwen is also attracted to him, and you really can’t blame her. If Benecio is in his early 40s, that means her husband to-be was hecka old. Also Benecio/Lawrence has this adorable hurt puppy dog look that makes you just want to show him he is special, and that you care for him. He looks so sad that it makes you just want to take him, and take care of him. Making sure is life is bright and never unhappy again. That look is killer on any girl as it flies through their best defenses. Major chink in the armor.

swoon dreamy

Sorry, digressing….So with Lawrence back, and the funeral over, Gwen decides to return to London. Laurence would like to leave too, but wth his brother’s death, he now is sole heir to the estate and the first son. When his father dies he will become Sir Lawrence and be expected to uphold all those duties (House of Lords most likely). This isn’t the life that Laurence wants, but at this moment he is too loaded with grief and confusion over his brother’s death that he doesn’t question or try to rebel.

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So with Gwen gone, and his father an emotionless robot who only cares about himself; Lawrence takes it upon himself to try and figure out what happened to his loving brother. Now Lawrence is putting on the black cowl and trying to become a vigilante or anything, he just wants some closure about his brother’s death. He heads down to the gypsy camp to try to get some answers.

Being questioned police Annex - Tierney, Gene (Laura)_03

Where were you the night in question?

That night is a full moon

attack Wolf Boy Meets World

Which as you’ve guessed it means trouble is going to be roaming about. Lawrence meets up with the gypsy woman Maleva, who tells him that something truly evil has attacked his brother.

Wolf Man 1941 5

But before he can get anything more, the townspeople attack the village. They try to drive the gypsies from the area, and kill a dancing bear they believe to be the beast that killed Ben Talbot.

mob

Grab your torches and sharpen your pitchforks!

As they are attacking, a superhuman, wolfish creature descends upon the area and starts slaughtering people.

wolfman-strangle

And I’m not talking about just a few people, this is like a Scream sequel. The body count by the end of this film is in the double digits.

wolfman dead bodies lots cart

Hey, my generation is the Millennials. They aren’t as classy, they need lots more blood and guts.

Anyways, the werewolf is attacking everyone, and Lawrence spots a young boy running into the woods. At the same time the werewolf spots the boy, causing Lawrence to put himself in the way in order to protect the child. As he does so, the wolf attacks him.

wolfman-strangle

And he gets bitten.

dun-dun-duuuun

Malvea find him and cares for him, despite the community telling her that it is better for all if they let him die. But Malvea can’t, she says he still is a man and deserves to be treated as such. She also states that only a loved one can kill him.

hold-up-wait-a-minute-let-me-put-some-pimpin-in-it

Malvea honey, I don’t think so. Anyone can kill a werewolf as long as they have some kind of silver object. Nowhere is that in the original film, as if you read my post you would know that film revolutionized werewolf mythology. Click here to check it out now.

And besides that, is there nothing you can do for him? You are a cinematic gypsy in a horror film! You’re supposed to have a potion or herb or special thing that can protect you from turning. Now if you have read my DraculaThe Mummy, The Wolf Man, or Scream 2 posts, you know I make fun of the films when the guy is given a special charm to protect him but then stupidly turns it over to the girl he loves, EVEN THOUGH IT WILL NOT WORK FOR HER.

Every time!

Every time!

But I really enjoy that part of the film, as it humanizes the character and makes you adore them. I mean its sweet how much they love the girl in their life that if there is anything that can do to ward of the monster, they prefer them to have it. Even though by doing so they make things worse, hey it’s the thought that counts.

Frozen Sacrifice self love you sisters

I also hate how gypsies have been giving “B” standing in modern horror films. I mean without their supreme wisdom and knowledge in the supernatural, they are just nomadic people. In real life they are still awesome, in a  horror film? That’s just boring.

Bones David Bored I;m bored boring

But I guess that’s just they way it is these days.

Sadface Batman

So where was I? Oh yeah, Lawrence has been bitten by the werewolf. He is moved back to Talbot Manor, and Gwen returns from London to nurse him back to health. While recovering he has really strange dreams. Lots of blood, murder, and even his mother appears. You see his mother died when he was very, very young and her death severely traumatized her as he discovered her dead body. But why would that death be haunting him now? Is it because of Ben? The slaughtered people seen in the gypsy camp? Or is it something else?

suspicious  Hmm

Lawrence actually heals pretty quickly, which he finds kind of odd. And that’s not the only thing that’s odd in the Talbot homestead. One day his father’s manservant, Singh (Art Malik), shows him a case of silver bullets and hints that something monstrous is walking through the woods.

Weird

Weird

He’s not the only one concerned. Inspector Abberline (Hugo Weaving) comes to town. Yes, yes I’m going to admit it. Any film with Hugo Weaving gets an 10x increase in awesome. I mean this guy is truly one of the most talented actors alive. When he ecomes a role you totally forget that he is Hugo Weaving and just think of him as that character. For me I’m always going, Hugo Weaving was in that film? Oh that’s who was that amazing character. I totally forgot that character was being played by an actor. I mean he is that  good. You have Agent Smith in The Matrix, Elrond in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, V in V for Vendetta, the Red Skull in Captain America: The First Avenger, and that’s just to name a few.

wolfman 2010 inspector abberline hmm i've almost got it hugo weaving

Anyways, Inspector Abberline comes to town to investigate. He already believes he knows who the killer is…Lawrence.

Yeah I don't understand it either

Seriously? Lawrence? A Murderer? Come on, this guy wouldn’t hurt a fly. I mean look at him, really look at him. There isn’t a murderous bone in his body! Besides, he just arrived in town so there is no way he could have murdered his brother. Dude, you’re dumb.

felix_the_cat_laughing

But it isn’t completely ungrounded. You see, Lawrence has a history of “mental problems.” You see, I didn’t want to give you the full story so early, but Lawrence’s mother’s death really did a number on him. Now today, we would really try to help the child as we understand such events as those are highly traumatic and can cause serious issues. Then not so much. Lawrence discovered the body and was very upset. He was afraid and kept mentioning a monster had hurt her. Instead of trying to help his kid, Sir John sent him to an insane asylum, where he was tortured. And I mean torture. Many methods to improve these patients were electrotherapy, iron cuffs/collars, bloodletting, dipping the patient in hot or ice-cold water, and a gyrating chair “to shake up the blood and tissues of the body to restore equilibrium”. By the 1900s, many hospitals had added lobotomies to their lists of “cures”.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah not fun. So Aberline thinks he is the perfect suspect. Laurence though, is having none of that.

Lawrence Talbot: I get your implication, and resent it. You’re clearly aware of my personal history, as I believe I’m aware of yours. Weren’t you in charge of the ripper case a couple of years back?

Det. Aberline: You’re a direct man. So I’ll be equally direct with you. I am not your enemy, Mr. Talbot. You’ve been seen as Hamlet, Macbeth, Richard III, all with that same face. A prudent man would ask who else might be living inside that head of yours?

Laurence doesn’t quite know what is going on and asks Gwen to leave as he’s worried something might happen to her. That night he follows his father, and watches him go down to the family crypt, to the area where his dead mother resides. There he finds a chair with restranints. His father locks the door and stays in the crypt, leaving a confused Laurence.

Weird

Weird

As Laurence turns to go inside, he becomes…The Wolfman!

wolf

Now this was worth the price of admission. These transformation scenes are awesome!!!

Freakin’ sweet!

So now that he is a wolfman, he does what they all do. Ravage the countryside.

Film Title: The Wolfman Claw

The next day the Inspector comes for him and has him arrested to be sent back to the “mental hospital”

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

How horrible is that. I mean this has to be Laurence’s biggest fear, to be sent back to that horrible place. Poor guy. And I was doing some research last night, not only were insane asylums awful, but the one he has to go to, Bedlam, was one of the worst.

you're evil

Dr. Hoennegar, the leading physician, takes Laurence under his wing and subjects him to ice treatments, that is to be consistently dunked into ice water and left there for long periods of time.

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Can you imagine?

And oh joy, he also gets electroshock therapy.

Stupid, stupid

While he is incarcerated, Sir John comes to visit and tells him a story. You see Sir John is the cause of all this.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

Back in the day when he was younger and hunting in India, he heard this rumor about an unusual predator. He travels to the remote cave that the predator calls his home and while there was bit by a feral boy and became a victim of lycanthropy.

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Except, it was more than “imagining” he actually became a werewolf and began attacking things.

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That’s when Laurence realizes everything about his mother’s death makes total sense. He did see a beast kill her, but it was his father! His father killed his mother and then sent him to a mental institution!!! What a truly, truly evil man to allow his son to be tortured. And now for a second time!!!

you're evil

Now this was my biggest issue with the film. Every other part of the movie was actually pretty great. It was an amazing homage to the orginal film. Benecio del Toro was actually a huge fan of the original and tried to bring a lot of Lon Chaney Jr. into his acting. But the thing I absolutely hate was the changed relationship with his father.

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It just didn’t work in my opinion. I mean that is what truly made the original fantastic, was that everything in his life was going great, he was a great man; and this tragedy strikes that ruins everything. He and his father were finally, finally becoming close and working out all their issues. He had met a nice girl, even though she was engaged, and had hope for that relationship. He loved England and was getting back into the groove of it. But then this horrible thing happens and he has to say good-bye to it all. He knows he is going to die, but what does he do? He goes to his dad and makes sure that he has something to protect him. Because even though he has spent years hating and being angry at his father, he truly loves him. It’s just so wonderful and sad all at the same time

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But having the dad the evil guy, I don’t know…it just makes the film feel as if it is missing a huge part of it. It doesn’t hit in the heart like the orginal.

But moving on, so his father murdered his mother and then sent the only witness to a torture chamber (mental hospital) to ensure that those memoris would never come to light as they are only crazy “child fantasies”.

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Since then, Sir John has had his manservant Singh has been locking him up so he doesn’t wreck havoc anymore. However, Ben was planning to leave with Gwen once they were married and this enraged Sir John. He wasn’t locked up that night and killed him to keep him from going away. He became so incensed with the power that he ran wild later, killing all in the gypsies camp and biting Laurence purposely.

Omg what a–

wordICan't say Toy Story

He did it on purpose because he wanted a fall guy. He wants to roam free as a werewolf and he allows his son to be caught and tortured. Argh!!! Urhg! this man! I;m so angry I can’t spell right. He needs a good sock in the face.

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After he finishes his story he leaves, intent on never returning.

Jerk

He deserves another punch.

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That night Laurence is taken to the observation room, where the good doctor presents him as a curio to his collegues. Unbeknowest to him, moonlight is coming through the window and landing on Laurence. This causes him to turn into….the Wolfman!

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This is one of the coolest scenes, but unfortunately I could only find it in Italian. Sorry! But you don’t really need to understand what they are saying to enjoy the effects/makeup.

Dr. Hoenneger: Ah, Mr. Talbot. We are here tonight to illustrate conclusively that Mr. Talbot’s fears are quite irrational. So, we will remain in this room together, and once Mr. Talbot has witnessed that the full moon holds no sway over him, that he remains a perfectly ordinary human being, he will have taken his first small step down the long road to mental recovery. We are all aware that Mr. Talbot has suffered quite traumatic personal experiences. He witnessed his mother’s self mutilations. His young mind, unable to accept it, created a fantastical truth, that his father is to blame. That is father is literally a monster. But, your father is not a werewolf. You were not bitten by a werewolf. You will not become a werewolf, any more than I will sprout wings and fly out of that window.

Freakin’ AWESOME

Totally fangirl over that.

Laurence runs away, being chased by the Inspector, and also wreaking havoc. There are some truly amazing shots of him by the bridge, on statues. Just plain awesome!

wolfman statue on tiop of werewolf

The next day he visits Gwen in her antique shop. They realize they have fallen in love, but Laurence knows nothing can come of it. He has to kill his father and himself in order to protect others.

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Inspector Abberline comes to see if Lawrence is there, but he is too late. Lawrence has already left for Talbot estate.

Gwen refuses to believe that they can’t be together. She starts studying lycanthropy and tracks down Maleva the gypsy for more advice. Maleva cannot help her, as there is no cure for werewolf.

Noo!

Noo!

Meanwhile, the Inspector has also headed back to the village and this time armed with silver bullets. That show in the Observation room must have finally convinced him that werewolves are real. Gwen also heads toward Talbot Hall.

Lawrence is the first to arrive and discovers a murdered Singh. He takes his gun loaded with the silver bullets and starts hunting his father.

Sir John Talbot: You have me at a disadvantage. It makes me happy.

Lawrence Talbot: What does?

Sir John Talbot: Well, seeing you here like this. My son returned. It is glorious, isn’t it?

Lawrence Talbot: No, it’s hell.

Sir John is a freak. He needs help. Serious help.

Anyways, it turns out there are no bullets in Singh’s gun, but blanks. Sir John did that on purpose as he will not be destroyed. Sir John attacks his son and the two begin fighting. The full moon comes up and transfroms them into werewolves. And yes, yes we have a werewolf fight. I personally thought it was a little cheesy (and dumb) but this is the millenal generation. And it is something the people want.

So after Laurence burns and decapiitates his father, Gwen walks into the house.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GWEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The wolfman, Lawrence, attacks her. Luckily, the inspector had also just arrived on the scene. He tries to use his gun, but misses allowing him to be bit by the werewolf. Gwen steals the gun and takes off, being pursued by the wolfman.

wolfman 2010 hiding from wolfman

He chases her to a waterfall. With nowhere left to go, Gwen starts begging and pleading with the wolfman, hoping to get to Lawrence. Lawrence reason faintly returns to the beast, who hesitates. He then hears the sound of a posse coming to attack him.

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Grab your torches and sharpen your pitchforks!

While he is concentrated on them, Gwen shoots him through the heart.

Noo!

Noo!

Laurence changes back to his human form, and before he dies thanks Gwen for saving him.

Lawrence Talbot: [his eyes open after being shot by a silver bullet and transforming back into a human] Gwen?

Gwen Conliffe: [crying] I’m sorry…

Lawrence Talbot: It had to be this way.

Gwen Conliffe: I’m sorry.

Lawrence Talbot: [he holds her hand] Thank you. [Dies]

aw cry

The posse and an injured inspector arrive just as Laurence dies.

So that is The Wolfman. Now do I think it is as good as the original? HECK NO! But that does not mean it isn’t an awesome film. Besides that one thing that majorly irks me, I really enjoyed it. I thought it was a pretty awesome film. The cinematography is beautiful, the acting incredible, and those transformation scenes? Freakin’ awesome! And I did like how they moved the story to show how harshly “mental disabled” people were treated. And you know what? Most of the people who were in those didn’tr even have serious problems. They would throw in the homeless, those with learning disabilities, women of large fortune who had husands that wanted the money but not the girl, etc. It was horrible. Horrible.

But back to the film, I think it is a worthwile view. It may not be exactly how I imagined it, but you do have some great werewolves in this, and no Jacob ones. Real werewolves.

2010The Wolfman

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And so ends another Horrorfest. I am so pleased with this years as I was able to redeem myself from last year’s only half the month’s posts. 31 days of terror and woe once again. I hope you all enjoyed it. I wish you all a very happy, and safe, Halloween. May it be everything you wish it to be.

Happy Halloween jack-o-lantern

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

For the previous post, go to The Perfect Murder

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For more on werewolves, go to Werewolves Roam Among Us

For more monster movies, go to There’s Nothing Out There. Nothing in the Mist

For more on 19th century England, go to The Past of a Man

For more on insane asylum, go to I Bid You Welcome

For more remakes, go to Don’t F*** With the Original

Werewolves Roam Among Us: Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman (2000)

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Mr. Talbot is a werewolf! And I’m not going to rest until I prove it.

I love this film! It’s one of my favorite Halloween specials. I used to watch this every year as they would air it on Cartoon Network as part of their Saturday Night Creature Double Features, pairing it up with Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein.

So Alvin is a huge Monster movie fan (just like me :D).

Universal Monster Movie Horror

The film starts off with Alvin having horrible nightmares of meeting the Wolfman.

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And wakes up screaming!

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Simon and Dave think that Alvin is watching far too many horror films. Hey he is just doing his part in protecting America.

Horror Films

Alvin doesn’t like his new neighbor, Lawrence Talbot and thinks he is a werewolf!

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And you guys didn’t miss that. It is the same name from the original Wolf Man film.

At school, Theodore isn’t having the best time. A kid Nathan is bullying him. Alvin sticks up for Theodore, but he can’t be with him all the time. The principal calls Dave in talk about this, but neither has the best plan of attack as Theodore won’t report it.

There is a problem with Alvin though. They are worried that he is a little too obsessed with monsters. He is the lead in the play version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. Dave tells Alvin that if he catches him “monster hunting” around his neighbor, he is going to kiss his part good-bye.

Good-bye

Good-bye

Alvin doesn’t stop and loses his part, although he tries to weasel his way out.

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The principal decides to give the lead to Theodore in hopes that it will help boost his self-esteem.

Its-so-crazy it just mightwork

Losing the part doesn’t stop Alvin as he and Simon still search to discover if there are werewolves. And if their neighbor is one.

Wolf Science

Theodore is trying to become a Mr. Hyde that everyone desires, but isn’t doing the best job. He’s just too sweet to play someone so evil.  Eleanor offers to help him out, which is a dream come true for Theodore as he is majorly crushing on her.

That night Theordore walks home and he gets bit by a dog.

attack Wolf Boy Meets World

The next day Theodore is acting strangely…

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

He is more assertive. He gives Eleanor a token of his love. He stands up to Nathan. He even is a perfect Mr. Hyde. But it doesn’t stop there, Theodore ends up becoming meaner and meaner. The Theodore we all knew and loved has almost completely disappeared.

Smooth werewolf

In fact he changes so much that he becomes a werewolf.

“[Theodore has turned into a werewolf but is acting playful]

Simon: He’s like a-a-a puppy.

Alvin: A werewolf puppy.”

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They try to figure out what to do to change him back, but keep coming up with nil. They then decide to contact a psychic gypsy woman for help.

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She tells them that Theodore has been changing rapidly and is close to becoming a full on werewolf…FOREVER!!! The only way to stop the full on transformation is to knock him around with a silver cane while he is still in the “puppy stage”.

Alvin breaks into Mr. Talbot’s house to steal his cane to use on Theodore. However, he accidentally bangs into Dave, who takes it away to return it. As Dave goes to returns the cane it becomes night. And not just night, but a night with a full moon. This causes Mr. Talbot to transform.

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Dave runs away and tries to get to the school to warn and protect the kids, but accidentally knocks himself out in the process.

At the school Theodore transforms into a werewolf and starts attacking Eleanor, but sees the necklace that he gave her and remembers his feelings. He flees into the forest and Eleanor follows. So does Mr. Talbot.

dun-dun-duuuun

Theodore attacks Mr. Talbot to protect Eleanor and the two get involved in a werewolf battle. The two biting each actually cures them both and turns them into humans. The crowds believe to be part of the play and applaud. And it’s a wrap! Mr. Talbot becomes the next principal.

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It’s a great film for kids and adults. Not only is it a tasteful remake, but it is also is a hilarious cartoon.

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

For the previous post, go to Don’t F*** With the Original

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For more on Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman, go to Part X: The Movie List That Would Not Die!

For more on Alvin and the Chipmunks, go to On the 6th,5th,4th,3rd,2nd, & 1st Days ‘Til Christmas

For more on The Wolf Man (1941), go to Who’s Afraid of Cory Wolf?

For more on werewolves, go to Monster Movie

For more monster movies, go to You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Boat

For more films based on cartoons, go to Redone Done Right

For more modern remakes, go to Keep Clear Of the Moor. Beware the Moon