Ship of Ghouls: The Love Boat (1978)

So you know what that means: Horror TV episodes Tuesday

I know this is a little odd, TV episodes on a Tuesday instead of Friday as I’ve been doing for the past few years? Well this year October 1st started on a Friday and it just doesn’t seem right for Horrorfest to start with a review of a TV episode.

So instead we will be reviewing TV episodes on Tuesdays, TV Tuesdays.

And our next TV episode comes from

So it is also time for our annual Vincent Price film or TV episode.

I love Vincent Price, and it just wouldn’t be Halloween unless I watched something starring him. This year I settled on this Love Boat episode as I was rewatching the show on Pluto and this Halloween/Vincent Price episode came on one day. I thought it would be perfect.

I grew up watching The Love Boat reruns on TV Land and loved this show. Each episode usually contained three different storylines (sometimes they tied together sometimes they didn’t) and all revolved around a theme of learning to “love again”. It mostly was two people falling in love it back into love (as they are divorced, separated, broken up, etc.); although sometimes it centered around familial love, friendship, or learning to love yourself.

Although rewatching this as an adult I’m like these people just meet on a week long cruise, they should not be getting married. That seems like a really bad idea. In fact as an adult I actually enjoy more the episodes where the characters don’t end up together and the ones where it isn’t romantic love but friendship or family love.

But I did enjoy this Halloween episode that stars Vincent Price as illusionist extraordinaire, the Amazing Alonzo. The Amazing Alonzo has been hired to perform at the ship’s Halloween party. It should be a lot of fun as he wants to get his name out there, will perform a few times during the week, he and his fiancé Ramona (Joan Blondell) have an all expenses paid cruise cruise, etc.

Let’s go!

Alonzo even has truly amazing powers, almost supernatural. Could it be real and not an illusion?!

Yes everything is going great, everybody adores Alonzo, everything is just what the two wanted…except Alonzo is enjoying all the attention from the fans and other ladies and not paying any attention to his fiancé.

Besides Alonzo there are two other storylines I don’t really care for. One is a boy lying to get attention as his parents recently separated and are trying to work together again. It is basically “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” as by the end he realizes that he shouldn’t lie or else people won’t believe him.

The other storyline is extremely stupid. A model was in a car accident and has a teeny tiny scar on her face, so light and minuscule and easily covered with makeup, and she wants to hole up in her room because she “isn’t beautiful” anymore. First of all she’s not ugly at all and she could easily afford good makeup or even plastic surgery to fix that teeny tiny scratch. Secondly, if this was the storyline they were going with why not make it huge, or third degree burns, or be made by a traumatic act that makes her not want to stare at herself or be looked at? It just didn’t work for me.

So back to Alonzo. Alonzo had crossed over from loving the attention by others to being addicted to it and downgrading Ramona from fiancé to associate when introducing himself and trying to sound more important.

Later Ramona complains about Alonzo’s lack of attention and Alonzo promises to make it up to her. He apologizes as he’s just so excited that they will be famous again, that’s all he can focus on. Ramona doesn’t care about fame, she just wants to get married. Alonzo again reassures her he will be all hers for the whole evening when a man comes by and insists Alonzo comes to his table to show his friends’ illusions.

Alonzo ends up getting caught up in the other table forgetting all about Ramona. Captain Stubing, Captain of the love boat, sees her and invites her to dinner. Mmhmm, Captain Stubing likes ladies that are taken as he doesn’t want a serious commitment. Those are pretty much the only ones he spends any time with.

The next day Alonzo is trying to do an illusion but he overhears that Ramona telling the Captain she left l her lipstick in the his cabin last night. When he goes to ask her what she meant by that, she tells him she spent all night with the Captain and that she and Alonzo are through. After that, Alonzo can’t focus on anything and messes up every illusions and trick he tries to do.

That evening Captain Stubing is ready for the illusionist show to start but can’t find Alonzo anywhere. It turns out he is sulking in his room as he has realized what a fool he has been and that he has lost Ramona for good. Stubing yells at him telling him Ramona is in love with him and basically calling him an idiot in a professional manner, also letting him know that nothing happened between him and Ramona. Finally Alonzo comes to the Halloween party and does his greatest trick yet, he freezes everybody so he and Ramona can have a word in private.

He apologizes, tells her he loves her, and then he tells her his real name, Wendall Moore-yep he’s finally ready to get married.

The episode ends with them heading home. Happy, in love, and ready to set a date for the wedding. Another successful trip for the Love Boat.

For more Vincent Price, go to The Adventure of the Sinister Scenario: Ellery Queen (1976)

For more adventures on cruise ships, go to A Spy Ring, A Killer Virus, and a Body Double Trying to Steal Carolina’s Life: High Seas Season Three (2020)

For more Halloween episodes, go to Holy Crap, Leonard’s a Zombie: Epidemiology, Community (2010)

Who’s Afraid of Cory Wolf: Boy Meets World (1994)

Eric, what you’re about to see may shock you.

This is an awesome Halloween episode as it parodies The Wolf Man (1941). 

It’s dark and stormy Halloween night and Cory sits at his desk writing a letter. Shawn comes in and asks him what he is doing. That’s when Cory announces he is a werewolf!

Shawn doesn’t believe him, and Cory does a flashback to tell him what happened and what brought him to this conclusion.

So the day before, October 30th, Cory was going outside to throw away his trash, when he notices that Mr. Feeny is putting his trash inside the house. Cory thinks that is strange and asks him why he’s doing that. Mr. Feeny tells him how a wolf has escaped from the Zoo, and he is prowling around the area. Cory is shocked! After Feeny leaves, Cory is putting the trash away when he hears something in the bushes. It attacks him!!!

The next day he feels really strange. He has strange urges with food. He has hair everywhere!!!

“Cory Matthews: Eric, what you’re about to see may shock you.

Eric Matthews: Then put a towel on.

Cory Matthews: Okay, look! [comes out with his arms thrown in the air, completely normal]

Eric Matthews: Oh, my God! I don’t see anything at all!”

But even though everyone tells him its just puberty and that he isn’t a werewolf, Cory is not convinced. Eric plays along with it as he finds it hilarious.

“Eric: I don’t want to alarm you or anything, but you might be turning into… a werewolf.”

Cory is really upset. At lunch he goes off campus to a yogurt shop and finds himself wanting to eat strange things…things like blood and guts!

The blood is actually strawberry yogurt, and the guts are actually chocolate. While there Cory hears the report on the news about the wolf and freaks out, asking the yogurt worker if werewolves are real or not. He tells them that anything could be possible and that Cory should visit his mother, “Madame Ouspenskaya”.

Madame Ouspenskaya is a “gypsy-fortune teller”, that presides in the back room of the yogurt shop. And she not a very good gypsy, but she manages to hit the nail on the head about Cory. As he gives her more and more money to know about his future, she reveals three things that will happen before he fully transforms into a werewolf.

 

1. He will develop a taste for strange things.
2. The pentagram will appear on his palm
3. And he will kill the girl who cares for him (9:00).

Cory thinks that he will be okay as no girl cares for him, so he won’t have to worry about a full transformation, and tells her so. She tells him that she is the real deal and that he’s over 20 minutes late to class.

When he gets to class, Shawn wants to know what’s up with him. Cory tries to tell him, but Mr. Turner is upset with his tardiness. He tries writing a note to Shawn but Mr. Turner gets angry at him and asks for the paper. Instead of giving it up, Cory stuffs it in his mouth as he doesn’t want Mr. Turner to find it. That’s when he realizes, it’s the first sign.

1. He will develop a taste for strange things.

Cory becomes really worried and freaked out. He is acting so strange that Mr. Turner asks him to stay after class. He tries to get Cory to open up, but Cory is too freaked. As they are talking, Cory accidentally picks up Mr. Turner’s keys. That’s when he notices the pentagon keychain in the palm of his hand!!!

2. The pentagram will appear on his palm. (Cory thinks a pentagon it is the same thing as a pentagram.)

Afterwards he is freaking out some more. But then he realizes, he doesn’t have any girl that cares for him!! That means he is saved. He’ll be fine!

As Cory is celebrating Topanga goes over to ask Cory what’s up with him. She tells him she cares for him and will listen to his problems.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Someone cares for him, that means is going to be a WEREWOLF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Topanga tries to reassure him that she doesn’t “like” him that way, she is just a friend, but it’s too late. Cory believes his fate is sealed. He is going to turn into a werewolf and kill Topanga. Which brings us back to the present.

“Cory Matthews: [writing a letter] So I hope that you will all forgive me, so that I now can escape my destiny. Fondly, Cory A.O. Matthews.

Shawn Hunter: What does A.O. stand for?

Cory Matthews: Ah-ooh.”

He makes Shawn promise to take care of Topanga and take him for walks and stuff.

Topanga comes over anyways, and Cory tries to get rid of her but it doesn’t work.

“Topanga Lawrence: Cory, get a grip. We’re only going to a Halloween party.

Cory Matthews: Yeah, that’s how it starts! Then we get married, have kids, and I eat them!”

To make things worse, Topanga is dressed like a damsel in distress:

He tries to get Topanga to go, but  she refuses. Instead she waits with him and it reaches 9:00 Full Moon!

And nothing happens. Nothing at all. It’s just Cory and Topanga

Finally something GOOD!

Cory is so happy that he kisses Topanga!

The next day, Cory finds out that there was no wolf anywhere, it’s been in the Zoo the whole time. Which begs the question…Who bit Cory?

Sound suspicious

It turns out it was just a rabbit. No wolf, just a lil’ ol’ rabbit. But hey Cory, those can be extremely dangerous! Haven’t you ever read Bunnicula?

To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

For the previous post, go to All I Know About Trilogies is That in the Third One, All Bets are Off

For more on Boy Meets World, go to Here I Go

For more on werewolves, go to Keep Clear of the Moor. Beware the Moon

For more horror parodies, go to Tuesday the 17th

For more on gypsies, go to Oh Oh De Lally

For more on Disney, go to I Will Only Answer to the Name of Oommmooooowwwwo!