A Family Affair

So I already did a post on the opening line of Sense and Sensibility, you should go here if you want to check that out. So Sense and Sensibility is far different from Pride & Prejudice. In Pride & Prejudice we have a basic introduction to the family-5 daughters, and their mother’s need to marry them off.

Sense and Sensibility is a little different.

We get a big family entanglement of who’s who in the family and who’s inheriting. It can be a bit much.

It’s not as bad as Love Actually or He’s Just NOT Into You, but it is pretty knotted. But lucky for you all, that’s what I’m here for. I shall untangle it for you.

So it’s always about the property and land right?

And in this case it’s the same. But the one in question here is Norland Park, belonging to Mr. Dashwood.

Now Mr. Dashwood was a confirmed bachleor, and shared his house with his sister who managed everything for him. Both of them grew older, and Miss Dashwood died. Mr. Dashwood found himself alone and didn’t enjoy it. So he decided to invite his nephew, Mr. Henry Dashwood.

Now Henry is where things become a bit more complicated. Henry has two families.

Now I don’t mean that he was married to two women at the same time, this isn’t Sister Wives. And he wasn’t a conman either. He was a widower who remarried. This might not sound too complicated right now (I mean with how high the divorce rates are today, things are far more complicated,) but it does cause some legal issues I’ll get into later.)

So we have Mr. Dashwood’s first family. This includes his son John, horrible daughter-in-law Fanny,

and awful grandson.

I hate these people. Absolutely HATE THEM.

But more on that later.

And his second family consists of the new Mrs. Dashwood, Elinor, Marianne, and Margaret.

So here we are.

John being older and married was the one that didn’t move into the family homestead. But he and his family visited all the time. The three girls however, joined Old Mr. Dashwood. They take good care of him and greatly amuse him in his old age.

Only one problem.

Ugh

One thing my drama director always told us:

“Never work with kids or animals. They’ll steal the show.”

It’s true. Kids and animals are too cute, and they don’t even try. They’ll do something that will cause all others to be overlooked.

And here it’s no different.

Yes, the little spoiled brat steals away all the love of his grandfather.

“…this child, who, in occasional visits with his father and mother at Norland, had so far gained the affections of his uncle. by such attractions as are by no means unusual in children of two or three years old, an imperfect articulation, an earnest desire of having his own way, many cunning tricks, and a great deal of noise, as to outweigh all the value of all the attention which, for years, he had received from his niece and her daughters.”

Duh!

 

Yep, just another case of those who slaved and cared being pushed aside for something “cuter”.

Ugh

So the old Mr. Dashwood dies. And leaves things unpleasant. He entails all his money and estate to his grandnephew.

Entailment!

Replace Rothbart with entailment

Entailment sucks!!!!!!!

Entailment was something that was done a lot in the 18th-20th centuries. All the money, property, the whole shebang was entailed to the next male heir. So this is good and bad. It means that Henry will have everything, but only for as long as he is alive. When he dies it will be passed on to John, and then to the kid. This means that the female Dashwoods will receive nothing. The old Mr. Dashwood gave them £1000, but that won’t be near enough for them to marry well.

So I’m sure you are wondering about Mr. Henry Dashwood. I mean he doesn’t have to entail his personal money. Or Mrs. Dashwood’s money. Right?

 Well you’re half-right. He wouldn’t have to if he had any. Yep, you see Mr. Dashwood has no money.

He had status and married wealthy. His first wife had a fortune!

Unfortunately, she died.

And left all her money to her only child, John.

When he remarries it’s for love and his second wife is poor. They have only £7000. (I’m not sure if that’s a year or what, but it’s not enough for taking care of his family long-term).

And then he hopes to get the inheritance, but winds up with basically nothing.

To rub salt further in the wound, John doesn’t even need the money. You see John not only has all that dough from his mom, but when he married he increased his net worth tenfold.

Yep, he’s rolling in dough.

So the Dashwoods got the shaft.

But then Henry decides maybe it’s not such a bad thing after all. He is not an old man, he’s still has plenty of years left in him and he could start setting money aside to take care of his family. After all it’s not like he is going to die any day.

For more on Sense and Sensibility, go to A Sense of Sense and Sensibility

For more on the Dashwood family, go to Opening With…

For more on how entailment sucks, go to Fantastic Fantasies

For more on Gone With the Wind, go to At the End of the Rainbow

Opening With…

 

So the other day I was reading the beginning of Northanger Abbey and I realized that Jane Austen is the queen of opening lines

Yep in all her novels she has some of the best opening lines that just pull you into her work and make you want to read on and find out what’s coming next. Check it out!

1) Sense and Sensibility

“The family of Dashwood had been long settled in Sussex. Their estate was large, and their residence was at Norland Park, in the centre of their property, where, for many generations, they had lived in so respectable a manner as to engage the general good opinion of their surrounding acquaintance.”

Right away you pick up on a few key words, had and was.

“The family of Dashwood had been long settled in Sussex. Their estate was large, and their residence was at Norland Park, in the centre of their property, where, for many generations, they had lived in so respectable a manner as to engage the general good opinion of their surrounding acquaintance.”

Immediately we know something dramatically changed this family’s fortune and it probably wasn’t a good thing. Now you’re sucked in and you have to find out what happens next? Why can’t they live there anymore? Who are the Dashwoods?

2) Pride and Prejudice

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in posession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

So I actually did a longer post on this, It is a Truth Universally Acknowledged…. But when you read these words, admit you are ready for the adventure of the book.  In fact this hook is one that has continued to be entertaining for ages. I mean that saying never gets old, but constantly draws you in no matter how many times you have read it.

3) Mansfield Park

“About thirty years ago, Miss Maria Ward, of Huntingdon, with only seven thousand pounds, had the good luck to captivate Sir Thomas Bertram, of Mansfield Park, in the county of Northampton, and to be thereby raised to the rank of a baronet’s lady, with all the comforts and consequences of an handsome house and large income.”

Oooh who is this Maria Ward now Maria Bertram? Is she an upstanding lady and we should be happy at her fortune? Or she is a harlot and we hate that she used her charms to win Sir Bertram?

Either way you are intrigued and want to know more about her and her family.

 

4) Emma

“Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition, seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence; and had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her.”

So Emma seems like she is a blessed woman and everything is fine in her life. Or is it?

Sound suspicious

It sounds to me like there is a big ol’ but coming this way and that something going to happen to change her pristine life. What? I don’t know, but now I need to know.

5) Northanger Abbey

“No one who had ever seen Catherine Moreland in her infancy would have supposed her born to be a heroine. Her situation in life, the character of her father and mother, her own person and disposition, were all equally against her.”

So here we have a girl that has nothing to make her life seem interesting. Pretty bland…but just those words no one “would have supposed her” means that she is going to beat all the odds and have a fantastic story! After all:

And we can’t wait to read about it!

6)Persuasion

Sir Walter Elliot of Kellynch Hall, in Somersetshire, was a man who for his own amusement never took up any book but the Baronetage: there he found occupation for an idle hour, and consolation in a distressed one; there his faculties were roused into admiration and respect, by contemplating the limited remnant of the earliest patents; there any unwelcome sensations, arising from domestic affairs, changed naturally into pity and contempt as he turned over the almost endless creations of the last century; and there, if every other leaf were powerless, he could read his own history with an interest which never failed. This was the page at which the favorite volume always opened: — “ELLIOT OF KELLYNCH HALL. “Walter Elliot, born March 1, 1760, married, July 15, 1784, Elizabeth, daughter of James Stevenson, Esq. of South Park, in the county of Gloucester; by which lady (who died 1800) he has issue, Elizabeth, born June 1, 1785; Anne, born August 9, 1787; a still-born son, November 5, 1789; Mary, born November 20, 1791.”

Yes that paragraph is only two sentences.

I know, but the rest of the book isn’t like that. So I’m sure you’re first reaction was what an egotistical man.

Ugh men

But this pretty interesting opening. It’s the only Jane Austen book that doesn’t open about a woman or a family, but instead focuses on a man. Very different.  And we see that he has three daughters, Elizabeth, Anne, and Mary. So that begs the question which girl is this book going to focus on? Or will it be about all three?

Hmm

You’ll just have to read them to find out the end

After all:

For more on Sense and Sensibility, go to A Bit Pottery About Jane Austen

For more on Pride and Prejudice, go to First Impressions

For more on Mansfield Park, go to Part IX: Adventures in Movie Lines

For more on Emma, go to It’s All Jane Austen’s Fault

For more on Northanger Abbey, go to Part VIII: The Little Movie Line List

For more on Persuasion, go to Part VI: It Was Said One Night

For more on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, go to You Can’t Have Just One

For more on Downton Abbey, go to That’s What You Get

For more on Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century, go to Friday Night Fun

For more of my favorite quotes, go to A Little Bit of Love

For more book loving posts, go to You’re Doing It Wrong

A River of Candy Corn Runs Through It: Sabrina the Teenage Witch (1997)

You mean Halloween might actually be fun this year?

Not exactly Sabrina.

So its Halloween, the Christmas for witches and Sabrina is stoked that she won’t have to go to any big, boring, family party like the year before. Instead her aunts decided that they are all going to stay home this year and relax. Her aunts just bought furniture on sale from the Witches’s Realm and are eager to break them in.

At school, the bane of Sabrina’s existence, Libby is throwing a Halloween bash, only for the “cool” people.

Naturally that means you freaks aren’t invited.

Valerie is upset that she and Sabrina are not invited and spreads around that Sabrina is throwing her own Halloween party that will be cooler than anything Libby does.

Not Valerie always upsetted me. I REALLY don’t like her. I mean they talk about how “insecure” she is but I think she us mean and manipulative. She is always getting Sabrina to do stuff for her, give her things, lend her things, etc; never asking or saying thank you. She is willing to ditch Sabrina anytime if a chance at popularity comes her way. And she committed the ultimate BFF sin, she went on a date with Harvey, Sabrina’s boyfriend. Granted they were on a break, but a true BFF NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER dates her friend’s ex.

So Sabrina doesn’t want to Sa Val or the student body and she really does want to show Libby up so she agrees to do it. She makes her aunts promise that nothing weird will happen but that they will have a normal, mortal, party.

Her aunts are excited and decide to increase their candy corn production.

Even Salem is down, and eager to check out the snacks.

Sadly Harvey can’t come as he is taking his little brother trick or treating. This freaks Sabrina out as she was counting on him being the “cool” person guarenteeed to be there.

To make matters worse it turns out that they have talking furniture. That’s one of the problems with buying other realm items. They can’t return them either, as it is Halloween, and the other realm buisnesses are shut down. They try to put the furniture down in the basement but it turns out they have other realm termites. They leave them upstairs and hope they will be quiet.

Valerie comes over dressed up as a duck.

Unfortunately nobody else does, and Val is so embarrassed she runs upstairs to Sabrina’s room and tries to hide out there. They both have to come down though as the party sucks. No one is having a good time, they can’t use the stereo because the termites at it, and the kettle is producing mass quantities of candy corn.

To make matters even worse Halloween carolers and Sabrina’s quizmaster show up

The “cool crowd” shows up and Sabrina tries to do something to salvage the party. Then everything goes crazy.

Valerie drops through the floor because the termites ate through the wood, the couches start moving and talking, the carolers come in, and a river of candy corn flows through the living room.

Sabrina is at a loss to explain what is going on, but she doesn’t have to. Everyone thinks that Sabrina did it to make her Halloween party one spectacular event. She quickly becomes the toast of the school.

Harvey even shows up after he finishes with his brother. Libby shows up since her party was a washout and Harvey’s brother egged her house. Sabrina finishes the night by zapping in the 10,000 Maniacs.

If you’d like to check it out for yourself, go here.