The Clergyman’s Wife + The Question is Mr. Collins Really THAT Bad?

The Clergyman’s Wife by Molly Greeley

I saw this audiobook and ebook on MeetLibby and decided to give it a read as I heard a lot of positive things about it.

However, I did not finish it as I could not get very far through it. I was about 18% of the way through the audiobook and did not get much farther in the ebook, before I finally called it quits. I tried, but this work just couldn’t capture my attention.

It wasn’t badly written, but the story just couldn’t capture my attention. The story takes place after the end of Pride and Prejudice, with Charlotte Lucas-Collins dissatisfied with her life with Mr. Collins. She has nothing to do, no one to talk to, and finds herself drifting. She then strikes up a conversation with Mr. Travis, farmer and recently turned gardener (thanks to Lady Catherine), later this turning into a friendship. After the time they spend together, Charlotte finds herself falling for Mr. Travis. This is not at all what Charlotte planned for her life? What should she do?

Hmm…?

As I mentioned before, I tried but could not connect to this woke. One of my biggest issues reading this was Charlotte saying she had nothing to do. She’s a regency woman who’s a minister’s wife. I’m sure she would have plenty to do, in her own home and in the parish. I mean she’s not working hard like a servant, but she still had duties and responsibilities; it wasn’t as if she was so wealthy as to have people do everything for her.

Secondly, Greeley make Mr. Collins incredibly insufferable. But I found issue with this as I wonder, is he really? I have been thinking about this for a while, ever since my book club read Pride and Prejudice back in March. Is Mr. Collins really as bad as Elizabeth thinks?

Reading Pride and Prejudice we never see a true uncritical view of Mr. Collins as most of our opinions of him come from Elizabeth Bennet and her family, all of which are not the most reliable as they are all very judgmental people (except Jane); additionally they already do not care for him as he represents a loss of their home and life.

Secondly, none of the circumstances in which we as a reader interact with Mr. Collins puts him in a positive light, as the situations are not ones where he is most comfortable in. First, we know that Mr. Collin’s father and Mr. Bennet had a falling out years ago, so much that there has been zero contact and Mr. Bennet was surprised at Mr. Collins reaching out to him ( which Mr. Collins only did after his father died). Mr. Collins comes to the Bennet home and we have no idea what Mr. Collins has been told about his Bennet relations from his father nor what his father might have warned him about how they would react to him. We also don’t know if he has any other family or has ever grown up learning how to talk to family members besides what he may have observed from friends/classmates. Part of the reason why he is so awkward could be because of all this tension he grew up believing was between the family, him trying not to upset his relations, not knowing how to interact with people related to him, and him possibly going on about things they aren’t interested in as he’s afraid certain subjects might come up that will turn this visit into a terrible one.

Then we have him staying at a home where he is to inherit everything when Mr. Bennet dies. That would not only put you in an awkward position but also mean that every person in the house is bound to be bitter and a tad hostile toward you.

Thirdly, we see him embarrass Elizabeth at the ball going up to Mr. Darcy without being introduced, but to be fair we don’t know what his discussions with Lady Catherine have been like. Maybe from what they have discussed he earnestly does believe that Mr. Darcy would know who he is. He also might have been really nervous when going to a ball where he knows no one and the people he does know don’t really like him that he clings to the only person familiar.

In fact, I do find it interesting that Elizabeth is horrified with Mr. Collins’ behavior, yet Mr. Darcy doesn’t even mention it in his letter.

“The situation of your mother’s family, though objectionable, was nothing in comparison of that total want of propriety so frequently, so almost uniformly betrayed by herself, by your three younger sisters, and occasionally even by your father.”

Mr. Darcy’s Letter from Pride and Prejudice

And the last time we see Mr. Collins he is showing off to Elizabeth, the girl who rejected him, all that could have been hers. Even though this behavior is rude; let’s be honest, I don’t know a single person in this world who would not try to show off to someone who rejected them.

I also think that while his letter to the Bennets regarding Lydia running away with Wickham was quite the letter, but to be fair I do think him being untactful stems from him not knowing what to say in this situation and Mr. Collins presuming his time with the Bennets meant they were much closer than the Bennets thought they were. His letter doesn’t read to me as a cruel unfeeling man, but one that is not graced at emotional norms. We see where he tries to make the Bennets feel better, that maybe their parenting isn’t completely at fault for Lydia’s ruinous behavior, but perhaps it was a predestined occurrence that would have happened even if they were perfect parents. This isn’t what anyone would want to hear, but that is the exact type of thing people always say with tragedies when they aren’t sure what can be done to help. I would see this a lot when I used to work with grieving kids-people who have never experienced grief and want to do something to help will always say terrible things, not meaning to and not knowing it is the last thing the person wants to hear. I think that Mr. Collins knows he should say something to comfort his family- but that type of thing always happens to OTHER people, not people YOU know- and he asked Lady Catherine for advice (and she was zero help), and wrote a letter that was not soothing at all.

The other thing that bothers me about these adaptations with the Collinses, is we never see Mr. Collins at home relaxed. For instance, we see the real Mr. Darcy, once he is at Pemberley and all pretense has faded away. I would like an adaptation that shows Mr. Collins in a normal home situation, where he would be more comfortable and not trying to please everyone or show off his accomplishments.

So while Mr. Collins may have his annoying moments, is silly, socially unaware, untactful, a people pleaser, and presumes relationships are closer than they really are; he does have a good heart and he strikes me as someone who would be a good husband and treat his wife well. I would like to see an adaptation where he isn’t being compared to Mr. Bingley or Mr. Darcy; but where we have someone write his story.

For more Pride and Prejudice, go to Pride and Prejudice Audiobook Narrated by Kate Kellgren

For more Pride and Prejudice adaptations, go to An Affectionate Heart

For more on Mr. Collins, go to Charlotte’s Story

For more Jane Austen adaptions, go to Jane Austen Children’s Stories: Emma

The Heartbreak Kid

So I wrote this post years ago, but didn’t post it as I don’t like to write about my friends on my blog-only me. However, as I was going through them I came through this and looked it over again.

Hmmm….

Now it has been years since Eliot and I have talked. He stopped responding to any of my texts, or cards, or etc. I think the last time we had a conversation was in 2013. So I don’t feel too bad about sharing this now, especially as I have changed the name. Hopefully if we become friends again he won’t be mad about this. We’ll see…

I haven’t changed anything, but kept it all the same.

Edmund Bertram:

Scenario One

Edmund Bertram (1999)

1) Edmund and Mary

-Eliot and Carrie

-Eliot and Liz

-Eliot and Chastity

Why is it that really nice people are always attracted to the wrong kinds of people?

The one thing that always bugged me about Edmund Bertram’s character in Mansfield Park is how stupid he acts with Mary. Why is he so dumb and naive around her? Many of my friends feel I am too hard on Edmund, but when all of Jane Austen’s other heroes are so perfect, it can be hard to adore one who has such an achilles heel.

However, I am getting too far ahead of myself.

In Mansfield Park, Edmund is the younger brother. He is very smart and responsible. His older brother Tom, is supposed to inherit everything, and run the household in his father’s absence, but instead takes off to London to “enjoy” the “good times” that go on there; and Edmund steps up to the plate. At this time, Henry and Mary Crawford come to visit the family; Mary having set her sights on the eldest son to ensure a title and money; and Henry to play around with the Bertram girls. With Tom gone, Mary spends a lot of time with Edmund. She likes things about him and Edmund falls for her.

There is only one problem; Mary hates church, clergyman, and says she will never marry one. She tries to convince Edmund to change his profession, and he is stupidly convinced that she will come around and became a minister’s wife. Edmund sees more in her than is really there. Mary cares only for material goods and being high in society while Edmund has a higher consciousness. Edmund only realizes how wrong he is when:

  1. Mary tells Edmund how great it would be if Tom died (at this point in the story Tom had grown quite ill and was at death’s door), and he could inherit everything, and not become a minister
  2. She doesn’t care that her brother and Edmund’s sister Maria committed adultery, but that they were caught. She feels there was nothing wrong with it as long as no one found out.
  3. Her biggest regret about Maria and Henry is that is ruins her chances in moving up in society

It is then that Edmund finally realizes they have a completely different set of morals and values and could never be together.

Seriously

The thing that bugs me about Edmund is how long it took him to realize this! I mean she tells you point blank that she will not marry a clergyman. Why can’t you believe that? Why must you torture yourself believing that you can fix her! Why, why, why? Unfortunately this often happens in the real world. We care for people so we become blind to their faults.

I have a friend Eliot, who is one of the nicest guys you could ever meet. He is sweet, gentle, patient, understanding, etc. He is the type of guy who has no enemies. He has the worst luck with women. It’s REALLY bad! You think someone that nice, would be able to find a worthwhile person, especially since they have so much to offer, but alas he doesn’t.

So first Eliot started dating this girl Carrie. I hated Carrie! She and I were enemies!

She had made it her personal vendetta to be rude and snide to me. And, if one is mean to me I usually reciprocate the same attitude back.

She was an awful person, and completely wrong for Eliot! She started dating Eliot and really yanked him around. He really cared about her, but she just busted him in two. She cheated on him with another guy and left him heartbroken.

Now like Fanny tries to warn Edmund, I tried to warn Eliot. I let him know that Carrie was not the right person for him, but like Fanny, I was dissed and dismissed. Instead, he was convinced that she would change. But like Mary, she didn’t.

Seriously

Then there was Liz. I told Eliot that Liz wasn’t a great girl. She too liked having boyfriends, she just had trouble staying faithful to them. You think he would have listened this time right? But nooooo….instead they date, they become boyfriend and girlfriend. Then one day they are out on a date and bam Liz picks up a guy and starts making out right in front of Eliot. And not just a simple kiss, but full complete action going on there.

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

They broke up.

Then came Chastity. Now Chastity I disliked more than Carrie. Chastity would ALWAYS cheat on her boyfriends. She hurt another one of my friends that way.

Oh no you don’t!

He too was a really sweet, great guy; and she just mangled him. Now once again I tried to tell Eliot about her. I warned him that she had a tendency to cheat on her boyfriends and that it was best to just stay away from her. You think after Heartbreaker One and Two he would have listened to me finally…right?

Majorly

He was convinced that I was “mistaken”, in fact I had to watch what I said about Chastity as he fell really hard for her, so hard that if I made any more comments, our friendship would have been over. Everyone else really liked her. All of his friends liked her. His parents liked her. Her parents liked him. Her friends liked him. Everything was going great…..until it wasn’t.

One day at school I was TAing a class making copies, when another TA, my friend Susan, came into the office room to talk to me. She told me she really liked Eliot and hated the way Chastity treated her boyfriends, and she had something she wanted to tell me. Before the words came out of her mouth I knew that Chastity was cheating again.

This is one of those situations where you know no good will come out. If you tell the person they will hate you, but if you don’t you hate yourself for keeping them in this situation. I knew that he wouldn’t believe me, and even though it was extremely painful I didn’t tell him. I waited and eventually she told him and broke up with him.

Ouch!

It amazes me how he has gone through this and more but doesn’t give up. He still is trying to find a girl that won’t cause him any pain.

At least he was the last time I spoke to him. I don’t know if he still is. It amazes me the people who can be just decimated by something like that, but continue to search for love.

For more Edmund Bertram, go to You Put the Jedi in Pride & PreJEDIce

For more Mansfield Park, go to Jane Austen Chinese Zodiac

Changes, Turn and Face the Strange

So as you all know, David Bowie died yesterday.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

I know, it is heartbreaking.

HeartbreakBuffy the Vampire slayer heartbroken Sad

Such an amazing artist. Such great music! I loved him. All of his fantastic songs and lyrics will live on.

Good-bye you amazing man. Good-bye. Life without you will be strange.

😦

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For more posts dedicated to stars I love, go to Classic Clint

 

The Final Chapter

So if you have been following my blog you probably wonder why my attitude from my ex went from I’m happy it’s over to he’s a cheating, lying,

wordICan't say Toy Story

Some of you are probably like that is every relationship, but no that’s not the reason. Let me back up and just give you who are new to following a brief recap.

So my ex and I broke up last year and it was not the best ending for me. You see I was away at school and we were trying to make a long-distance relationship work.

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I had thought things were fine, until Michael, my ex started talking to me less and less. I went down to see him and he took an extra shift. When I was coming back for Thanksgiving he wasn’t sure he would be able to fit me in.

Now for all you people (and me now) it is clear that this guy was obviously moving on from me. But of course, I didn’t see it as:

Love_Is_Blind_by_Luquicas

So he was talking to me less and less and I was just so confused by it.

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My grandfather died, and still barely any peep from him. I know, my grandfather dies and he can’t see me or comfort me. What a major loser, am I right?

Jerk

So I go surprise attack him and see him, trying to get an answer out of him why he was so distant. Did he even want to stay together? You know, the usual questions. I mean I was so confused and unhappy and emotional, I just wanted the truth. We ended up breaking up. Now at first I was completely heartbroken, and there are earlier posts which detail that phase of my life.

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In fact I stupidly blamed myself for most of it. Maybe if I had done this differently or this we would still be together.

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Luckily, I eventually realized it wasn’t all my fault, in fact I was a great girlfriend. I sent him care packages, I treated him wonderfully and he was the one who was acting wrong and not like a boyfriend at all. I mean I got hit on by tons of guys and could have cheated on him or passed him up for someone “better”, but I didn’t as I really cared about him. I’m not gonna lie, it took a while, but I eventually got over him.

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I realized that breaking up was better than being in a relationship that was becoming non-existent.

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I mean he couldn’t even get up the balls to break up with me. Like what was he expecting me to do  over Christmas break? Never come around?

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But then I found out something. You see, Michael was cheating on me those past few months of our relationship. When I found that out I was incensed! I wanted to hurt him so bad!

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I was seriously angry. I would imagine myself going and punching his lights out.

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I really wanted to make him pay. In fact it took every ounce of my will to not go to his work and teach him a lesson.

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Now some of you this might seem a normal response, but for those of you who are shocked or appalled at my confession, let me tell you why this rankled me so much. You see I have always vetted the guys I date very throughly, so much that many don’t make it far with me. Yes, I’m picky but I just don’t want any old boy.

HighstandardsExtraordinary

And I had allowed Michael to get farther than any other boy had. I became his girlfriend, which is something I had always stayed away from becoming as I was always afraid of picking the wrong guy. With Michael, I didn’t think we were soul mates or meant to be together forever, but he just seemed so right.

he gets me

Only for me to find out I was dead wrong. Extremely wrong. You see when he asked me to be his girlfriend I told him I had three rules he had to agree to for me to say yes. The first was to NEVER, EVER cheat on me. Cheating is just a horrible thing to do as it screws people up for a long time. Second to call or skype me once a week, and third visit me at least once a semester. He agreed, especially to the first rule as he had been cheated on before and knew what it felt like.

That horrible guy!

GoldenGirlsEat&DieTrash

How could he treat me like that if he knew how it felt! I was enraged! But slowly, I got over it.

Bandaid

It sucks that the first guy I gave my heart to turned out to be such a Wickham:

Darcy Wickham Pride&Prejudice

But I’m not going to let him have any more power over my life. I already wasted time thinking, crying, plotting revenge, etc on him.

moveon

It sucks that he turned out to be such a rotter, but that’s life right? You can’t protect yourself from everything.

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Bitterness, resentment, and revenge may seem like your best friends, but they really aren’t doing you any favors.

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After all, they’ve already misused you, why let them continue that. It is always better to move on.

strongwoman

And I’m not letting that guy hurt me anymore. After all I got the best deal. I love his family, and they still love me. Plus I’m amazing! Eventually, maybe not anytime soon, but one day he’ll realize what a catch I was and kick himself for letting me get away! Your loss!

yourloss

And someone else’s gain.

And you are out of my thoughts forever.

I don't need you

And that would be the end of the post, except for one thing. I did see him again. And no I didn’t hit him or injure him.

You see every year my family goes to see the free Christmas play in town. And this year guess who had the lead? Michael.

mob

Grab your torches and sharpen your pitchforks!

No I’m kidding. It actually wasn’t that bad. I saw his relatives again who I absolutely adore. I saw him and to be honest I didn’t care. I will admit that at one time the urge to kick him really hard came over me:

KickShin

But it was a really small urge.

In fact seeing him again, I actually wasn’t impressed. No heartfelt longing to get back together. No breaking down and crying. In fact, nothing at all.

OverThemNewPerspectiveNothingSpecial

Now some of you might be wondering why I haven’t said anything about the girl he cheated on me with. I don’t really feel as if I can say anything because I don’t really know her role in this. Did she know he had a girlfriend? Did she try purposely to break us up? And to be honest, if she was actively involved than she is a horrible person, as scamming on somebody else’s person is just down right low. But, the person in the relationship is more at fault as they should know better.

And you know what, whoever is at fault, they’re going to get what’s coming to them. What goes around comes around. I don’t have to settle the score as someone else will. What’s important is to concentrate on me, and the next phase of my life.

Some of you may think, that’s a lot of personal information. Aren’t I worried if the guy finds out and reads it? Well, first of all:

Idon'tcareanymoreDeanWinchesterSupernatural

And secondly, if he wanted me to say something nice, he should have been nicer.

storiestellthemhowyouwant

Now I’m planning this to be the very last post on my ex, I’m not planning on seeing him ever, and I don’t think I will write another thing on him. Now think is the operative word as every time I thought the Verne Saga was over, he would come around again.

So I am going to end this last ex post with something I want you all to remember. If you have ever been hurt by someone, let it go and never, ever let it take over your life or destroy your personality.

HeartneverhardensCharlesDickens

Stay golden!

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For more musings of me, go to Concentrated Awesome

For more on getting over a broken heart, go to If It Means A Lot to You

For more on Nicholas Sparks, go to I Don’t Want to Be in Love (Dance Floor Anthem)

For more on Sarah Dessen, go to I Will Survive

For more on Steve Maraboli, go to Love Will Find a Way

For more of my favorite quotes, go to The Many Reincarnations of Me

The Little Moreland

So you all are aware I’m a Disney fan right? I mean after my 30 Days of Disney I think it’s pretty obvious.

So being female, I loved the Disney princesses, my favorite being Princess Aurora from Sleeping Beauty and Belle from The Beauty and the Beast.

Now in the past I have compared myself to Cinderella, Snow White, and Belle; but I never thought I would compare myself to Ariel.

ariel_the_little_mermaid_by_fitzoblong-d1zz5gp

Although now that I’m a redhead, I can see it.

In fact, I once took a quiz that said I was her, and I thought yeah right, that’s not me.

Go here to see which you belong in/are

Go here to see which you belong in/are

But the other day I was full on The Little Mermaid. Although, truth be told it wasn’t really the Disney version, but the hardcore Hans Christian Anderson one.

the-little-mermaid-hans-christian-andersen

You see in the original story The Little Mermaid was the youngest of six sisters. On her 15th birthday she is able to go up to the surface where she sees the prince and saves his life during a storm.

ariel-art-disney-little-mermaid-the-little-mermaid-Favim.com-222438

She visits him everyday at his palace at the seashore and falls in love.

So romantic!

So romantic!

She soons becomes heartbroken as she can’t be with him. Nothing makes her happy, all she wants is to be human.

TimingWrong

The other mermaids tell her to be happy, she can live for over 300 years. But she won’t have it. She travels to the sea-witch who lives in a horrible area and is an awful crazy person. The sea-witch turns her into a human, for her voice. However, their are strong consequences. One, she can never, ever be a mermaid again. Two, every step will be agonizing pain. Three, if the prince marries another, the next morning she will die with no soul but turn into foam. The Little Mermaid agrees and her tongue is cut out.

Sadface Batman

She washes up on shore and the prince takes her into his house. He clothes her and cares for her, as if she was his little sister. He tells her of the girl that saved his life and that she will be the only one he will ever love.

Yay!

Yay!

Well time comes when the prince has to marry. And the girl chosen is so beautiful he agrees. In fact, he asks the Little Mermaid to be in the ceremony.

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She is in so much heartbreak as she is doomed to die while the man she loves is to be married to another.

HeartbreakBuffy the Vampire slayer heartbroken Sad

Her five sisters come to see her. They have cut off all their hair and given it to the sea-witch. They give her a knife and tell her that if she kills the prince and sprinkles his blood on her feet then she will be a mermaid again. But she must do it before the sunrise. She goes into the room to kill him…but she can’t do it. She loves him too much.

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So she dies.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Yes she dies. But she doesn’t turn to foam. She instead is given an eternal soul because she sacrificed herself for another.

Frozen Sacrifice self love you sisters

I always knew the books we read as kids strongly affect us.

readingabkkid impression identity a part of us You've got mail meg ryan

But I didn’t know how much until now.

So you are probably wondering what this has to do with me? How am I like The Little Mermaid? Book or film, I’m pretty sure all of you are wanting me to get to the point.

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

Well for Halloween this year I decided to be Poison Ivy. She is my favorite villainess, as I think she is just amazing. I did a post on her that includes pics of the costume.

So anyways, this past summer I mentioned I was in Wyoming, and that is the land of meat + potatoes. Fruit and veggies are few and far between. So since that summer, I’ve been feeling large.

curvy

Yes I do, but I noticed I have put more weight on in the butt/thigh area, or at least that’s what it feels like. So I decided that it was time to get into shape. I started doing squats and did about 100.  I was feeling pretty good about it too.

Awesome

The next day I was a bit sore, but still feeling good.

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The next day that was radically different. I drove to an interview, wearing my two inch boots, preparing to change into my four-inch heels when I got there. When I reached the site, I had to park a bit away. After I parked I changed into my heels.

Now I love heels. If you remember from a previous post, I’m short. I’m only 5’3, so heels are great as they finally make me closer to my dream height. They make me feel powerful and awesome. The higher the better.

High

So walking in 3-5 inch heels is not unusual for me. However, this time was much different. It WAS SO PAINFUL.

No no no no no

No no no no no

I felt just like The Little Mermaid.

“It will feel like a sword were passing through your body…each step you take will feel like sharp knives piercing your feet. “

That’s how it felt with me. Each step was utter agony as my muscles just burned and were so inexplicably sore.

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I had to take so many breaks. As soon as I could I went to my car and changed my shoes. I’ve decided to rest from squats. And heels. I’ll just have to accept my bod for what it is.

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Or focus on a different exercise!

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For more on The Little Mermaid, go to I’m Not Gonna Lose Her Again

For more on Hans Christian Anderson, go to Disney Lesson

For more on my fashion style, go to Fashionably Postworthy

For more on Disney, go to Who’s Afraid of Cory Wolf?

For more fairy tales, go to Happily Ever Aftermath

For more book-y posts, go to Conan the Librarian

For more of my favorite quotes, go to Part XI: A Movie Line List ‘s Excellent Adventure