The Clergyman’s Wife + The Question is Mr. Collins Really THAT Bad?

The Clergyman’s Wife by Molly Greeley

I saw this audiobook and ebook on MeetLibby and decided to give it a read as I heard a lot of positive things about it.

However, I did not finish it as I could not get very far through it. I was about 18% of the way through the audiobook and did not get much farther in the ebook, before I finally called it quits. I tried, but this work just couldn’t capture my attention.

It wasn’t badly written, but the story just couldn’t capture my attention. The story takes place after the end of Pride and Prejudice, with Charlotte Lucas-Collins dissatisfied with her life with Mr. Collins. She has nothing to do, no one to talk to, and finds herself drifting. She then strikes up a conversation with Mr. Travis, farmer and recently turned gardener (thanks to Lady Catherine), later this turning into a friendship. After the time they spend together, Charlotte finds herself falling for Mr. Travis. This is not at all what Charlotte planned for her life? What should she do?

Hmm…?

As I mentioned before, I tried but could not connect to this woke. One of my biggest issues reading this was Charlotte saying she had nothing to do. She’s a regency woman who’s a minister’s wife. I’m sure she would have plenty to do, in her own home and in the parish. I mean she’s not working hard like a servant, but she still had duties and responsibilities; it wasn’t as if she was so wealthy as to have people do everything for her.

Secondly, Greeley make Mr. Collins incredibly insufferable. But I found issue with this as I wonder, is he really? I have been thinking about this for a while, ever since my book club read Pride and Prejudice back in March. Is Mr. Collins really as bad as Elizabeth thinks?

Reading Pride and Prejudice we never see a true uncritical view of Mr. Collins as most of our opinions of him come from Elizabeth Bennet and her family, all of which are not the most reliable as they are all very judgmental people (except Jane); additionally they already do not care for him as he represents a loss of their home and life.

Secondly, none of the circumstances in which we as a reader interact with Mr. Collins puts him in a positive light, as the situations are not ones where he is most comfortable in. First, we know that Mr. Collin’s father and Mr. Bennet had a falling out years ago, so much that there has been zero contact and Mr. Bennet was surprised at Mr. Collins reaching out to him ( which Mr. Collins only did after his father died). Mr. Collins comes to the Bennet home and we have no idea what Mr. Collins has been told about his Bennet relations from his father nor what his father might have warned him about how they would react to him. We also don’t know if he has any other family or has ever grown up learning how to talk to family members besides what he may have observed from friends/classmates. Part of the reason why he is so awkward could be because of all this tension he grew up believing was between the family, him trying not to upset his relations, not knowing how to interact with people related to him, and him possibly going on about things they aren’t interested in as he’s afraid certain subjects might come up that will turn this visit into a terrible one.

Then we have him staying at a home where he is to inherit everything when Mr. Bennet dies. That would not only put you in an awkward position but also mean that every person in the house is bound to be bitter and a tad hostile toward you.

Thirdly, we see him embarrass Elizabeth at the ball going up to Mr. Darcy without being introduced, but to be fair we don’t know what his discussions with Lady Catherine have been like. Maybe from what they have discussed he earnestly does believe that Mr. Darcy would know who he is. He also might have been really nervous when going to a ball where he knows no one and the people he does know don’t really like him that he clings to the only person familiar.

In fact, I do find it interesting that Elizabeth is horrified with Mr. Collins’ behavior, yet Mr. Darcy doesn’t even mention it in his letter.

“The situation of your mother’s family, though objectionable, was nothing in comparison of that total want of propriety so frequently, so almost uniformly betrayed by herself, by your three younger sisters, and occasionally even by your father.”

Mr. Darcy’s Letter from Pride and Prejudice

And the last time we see Mr. Collins he is showing off to Elizabeth, the girl who rejected him, all that could have been hers. Even though this behavior is rude; let’s be honest, I don’t know a single person in this world who would not try to show off to someone who rejected them.

I also think that while his letter to the Bennets regarding Lydia running away with Wickham was quite the letter, but to be fair I do think him being untactful stems from him not knowing what to say in this situation and Mr. Collins presuming his time with the Bennets meant they were much closer than the Bennets thought they were. His letter doesn’t read to me as a cruel unfeeling man, but one that is not graced at emotional norms. We see where he tries to make the Bennets feel better, that maybe their parenting isn’t completely at fault for Lydia’s ruinous behavior, but perhaps it was a predestined occurrence that would have happened even if they were perfect parents. This isn’t what anyone would want to hear, but that is the exact type of thing people always say with tragedies when they aren’t sure what can be done to help. I would see this a lot when I used to work with grieving kids-people who have never experienced grief and want to do something to help will always say terrible things, not meaning to and not knowing it is the last thing the person wants to hear. I think that Mr. Collins knows he should say something to comfort his family- but that type of thing always happens to OTHER people, not people YOU know- and he asked Lady Catherine for advice (and she was zero help), and wrote a letter that was not soothing at all.

The other thing that bothers me about these adaptations with the Collinses, is we never see Mr. Collins at home relaxed. For instance, we see the real Mr. Darcy, once he is at Pemberley and all pretense has faded away. I would like an adaptation that shows Mr. Collins in a normal home situation, where he would be more comfortable and not trying to please everyone or show off his accomplishments.

So while Mr. Collins may have his annoying moments, is silly, socially unaware, untactful, a people pleaser, and presumes relationships are closer than they really are; he does have a good heart and he strikes me as someone who would be a good husband and treat his wife well. I would like to see an adaptation where he isn’t being compared to Mr. Bingley or Mr. Darcy; but where we have someone write his story.

For more Pride and Prejudice, go to Pride and Prejudice Audiobook Narrated by Kate Kellgren

For more Pride and Prejudice adaptations, go to An Affectionate Heart

For more on Mr. Collins, go to Charlotte’s Story

For more Jane Austen adaptions, go to Jane Austen Children’s Stories: Emma

The Heartbreak Kid

So I wrote this post years ago, but didn’t post it as I don’t like to write about my friends on my blog-only me. However, as I was going through them I came through this and looked it over again.

Hmmm….

Now it has been years since Eliot and I have talked. He stopped responding to any of my texts, or cards, or etc. I think the last time we had a conversation was in 2013. So I don’t feel too bad about sharing this now, especially as I have changed the name. Hopefully if we become friends again he won’t be mad about this. We’ll see…

I haven’t changed anything, but kept it all the same.

Edmund Bertram:

Scenario One

Edmund Bertram (1999)

1) Edmund and Mary

-Eliot and Carrie

-Eliot and Liz

-Eliot and Chastity

Why is it that really nice people are always attracted to the wrong kinds of people?

The one thing that always bugged me about Edmund Bertram’s character in Mansfield Park is how stupid he acts with Mary. Why is he so dumb and naive around her? Many of my friends feel I am too hard on Edmund, but when all of Jane Austen’s other heroes are so perfect, it can be hard to adore one who has such an achilles heel.

However, I am getting too far ahead of myself.

In Mansfield Park, Edmund is the younger brother. He is very smart and responsible. His older brother Tom, is supposed to inherit everything, and run the household in his father’s absence, but instead takes off to London to “enjoy” the “good times” that go on there; and Edmund steps up to the plate. At this time, Henry and Mary Crawford come to visit the family; Mary having set her sights on the eldest son to ensure a title and money; and Henry to play around with the Bertram girls. With Tom gone, Mary spends a lot of time with Edmund. She likes things about him and Edmund falls for her.

There is only one problem; Mary hates church, clergyman, and says she will never marry one. She tries to convince Edmund to change his profession, and he is stupidly convinced that she will come around and became a minister’s wife. Edmund sees more in her than is really there. Mary cares only for material goods and being high in society while Edmund has a higher consciousness. Edmund only realizes how wrong he is when:

  1. Mary tells Edmund how great it would be if Tom died (at this point in the story Tom had grown quite ill and was at death’s door), and he could inherit everything, and not become a minister
  2. She doesn’t care that her brother and Edmund’s sister Maria committed adultery, but that they were caught. She feels there was nothing wrong with it as long as no one found out.
  3. Her biggest regret about Maria and Henry is that is ruins her chances in moving up in society

It is then that Edmund finally realizes they have a completely different set of morals and values and could never be together.

Seriously

The thing that bugs me about Edmund is how long it took him to realize this! I mean she tells you point blank that she will not marry a clergyman. Why can’t you believe that? Why must you torture yourself believing that you can fix her! Why, why, why? Unfortunately this often happens in the real world. We care for people so we become blind to their faults.

I have a friend Eliot, who is one of the nicest guys you could ever meet. He is sweet, gentle, patient, understanding, etc. He is the type of guy who has no enemies. He has the worst luck with women. It’s REALLY bad! You think someone that nice, would be able to find a worthwhile person, especially since they have so much to offer, but alas he doesn’t.

So first Eliot started dating this girl Carrie. I hated Carrie! She and I were enemies!

She had made it her personal vendetta to be rude and snide to me. And, if one is mean to me I usually reciprocate the same attitude back.

She was an awful person, and completely wrong for Eliot! She started dating Eliot and really yanked him around. He really cared about her, but she just busted him in two. She cheated on him with another guy and left him heartbroken.

Now like Fanny tries to warn Edmund, I tried to warn Eliot. I let him know that Carrie was not the right person for him, but like Fanny, I was dissed and dismissed. Instead, he was convinced that she would change. But like Mary, she didn’t.

Seriously

Then there was Liz. I told Eliot that Liz wasn’t a great girl. She too liked having boyfriends, she just had trouble staying faithful to them. You think he would have listened this time right? But nooooo….instead they date, they become boyfriend and girlfriend. Then one day they are out on a date and bam Liz picks up a guy and starts making out right in front of Eliot. And not just a simple kiss, but full complete action going on there.

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

They broke up.

Then came Chastity. Now Chastity I disliked more than Carrie. Chastity would ALWAYS cheat on her boyfriends. She hurt another one of my friends that way.

Oh no you don’t!

He too was a really sweet, great guy; and she just mangled him. Now once again I tried to tell Eliot about her. I warned him that she had a tendency to cheat on her boyfriends and that it was best to just stay away from her. You think after Heartbreaker One and Two he would have listened to me finally…right?

Majorly

He was convinced that I was “mistaken”, in fact I had to watch what I said about Chastity as he fell really hard for her, so hard that if I made any more comments, our friendship would have been over. Everyone else really liked her. All of his friends liked her. His parents liked her. Her parents liked him. Her friends liked him. Everything was going great…..until it wasn’t.

One day at school I was TAing a class making copies, when another TA, my friend Susan, came into the office room to talk to me. She told me she really liked Eliot and hated the way Chastity treated her boyfriends, and she had something she wanted to tell me. Before the words came out of her mouth I knew that Chastity was cheating again.

This is one of those situations where you know no good will come out. If you tell the person they will hate you, but if you don’t you hate yourself for keeping them in this situation. I knew that he wouldn’t believe me, and even though it was extremely painful I didn’t tell him. I waited and eventually she told him and broke up with him.

Ouch!

It amazes me how he has gone through this and more but doesn’t give up. He still is trying to find a girl that won’t cause him any pain.

At least he was the last time I spoke to him. I don’t know if he still is. It amazes me the people who can be just decimated by something like that, but continue to search for love.

For more Edmund Bertram, go to You Put the Jedi in Pride & PreJEDIce

For more Mansfield Park, go to Jane Austen Chinese Zodiac

Changes, Turn and Face the Strange

So as you all know, David Bowie died yesterday.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

I know, it is heartbreaking.

HeartbreakBuffy the Vampire slayer heartbroken Sad

Such an amazing artist. Such great music! I loved him. All of his fantastic songs and lyrics will live on.

Good-bye you amazing man. Good-bye. Life without you will be strange.

😦

timeisshort

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

For more posts dedicated to stars I love, go to Classic Clint

 

The Little Moreland

So you all are aware I’m a Disney fan right? I mean after my 30 Days of Disney I think it’s pretty obvious.

So being female, I loved the Disney princesses, my favorite being Princess Aurora from Sleeping Beauty and Belle from The Beauty and the Beast.

Now in the past I have compared myself to Cinderella, Snow White, and Belle; but I never thought I would compare myself to Ariel.

ariel_the_little_mermaid_by_fitzoblong-d1zz5gp

Although now that I’m a redhead, I can see it.

In fact, I once took a quiz that said I was her, and I thought yeah right, that’s not me.

Go here to see which you belong in/are

Go here to see which you belong in/are

But the other day I was full on The Little Mermaid. Although, truth be told it wasn’t really the Disney version, but the hardcore Hans Christian Anderson one.

the-little-mermaid-hans-christian-andersen

You see in the original story The Little Mermaid was the youngest of six sisters. On her 15th birthday she is able to go up to the surface where she sees the prince and saves his life during a storm.

ariel-art-disney-little-mermaid-the-little-mermaid-Favim.com-222438

She visits him everyday at his palace at the seashore and falls in love.

So romantic!

So romantic!

She soons becomes heartbroken as she can’t be with him. Nothing makes her happy, all she wants is to be human.

TimingWrong

The other mermaids tell her to be happy, she can live for over 300 years. But she won’t have it. She travels to the sea-witch who lives in a horrible area and is an awful crazy person. The sea-witch turns her into a human, for her voice. However, their are strong consequences. One, she can never, ever be a mermaid again. Two, every step will be agonizing pain. Three, if the prince marries another, the next morning she will die with no soul but turn into foam. The Little Mermaid agrees and her tongue is cut out.

Sadface Batman

She washes up on shore and the prince takes her into his house. He clothes her and cares for her, as if she was his little sister. He tells her of the girl that saved his life and that she will be the only one he will ever love.

Yay!

Yay!

Well time comes when the prince has to marry. And the girl chosen is so beautiful he agrees. In fact, he asks the Little Mermaid to be in the ceremony.

padme-youre-breaking-my-heart-gif-1

She is in so much heartbreak as she is doomed to die while the man she loves is to be married to another.

HeartbreakBuffy the Vampire slayer heartbroken Sad

Her five sisters come to see her. They have cut off all their hair and given it to the sea-witch. They give her a knife and tell her that if she kills the prince and sprinkles his blood on her feet then she will be a mermaid again. But she must do it before the sunrise. She goes into the room to kill him…but she can’t do it. She loves him too much.

The_Wolf_Man_4Crying sad

So she dies.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Yes she dies. But she doesn’t turn to foam. She instead is given an eternal soul because she sacrificed herself for another.

Frozen Sacrifice self love you sisters

I always knew the books we read as kids strongly affect us.

readingabkkid impression identity a part of us You've got mail meg ryan

But I didn’t know how much until now.

So you are probably wondering what this has to do with me? How am I like The Little Mermaid? Book or film, I’m pretty sure all of you are wanting me to get to the point.

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

Well for Halloween this year I decided to be Poison Ivy. She is my favorite villainess, as I think she is just amazing. I did a post on her that includes pics of the costume.

So anyways, this past summer I mentioned I was in Wyoming, and that is the land of meat + potatoes. Fruit and veggies are few and far between. So since that summer, I’ve been feeling large.

curvy

Yes I do, but I noticed I have put more weight on in the butt/thigh area, or at least that’s what it feels like. So I decided that it was time to get into shape. I started doing squats and did about 100.  I was feeling pretty good about it too.

Awesome

The next day I was a bit sore, but still feeling good.

Yeah-Dean-dean-winchester-33251540-500-300

The next day that was radically different. I drove to an interview, wearing my two inch boots, preparing to change into my four-inch heels when I got there. When I reached the site, I had to park a bit away. After I parked I changed into my heels.

Now I love heels. If you remember from a previous post, I’m short. I’m only 5’3, so heels are great as they finally make me closer to my dream height. They make me feel powerful and awesome. The higher the better.

High

So walking in 3-5 inch heels is not unusual for me. However, this time was much different. It WAS SO PAINFUL.

No no no no no

No no no no no

I felt just like The Little Mermaid.

“It will feel like a sword were passing through your body…each step you take will feel like sharp knives piercing your feet. “

That’s how it felt with me. Each step was utter agony as my muscles just burned and were so inexplicably sore.

HeartbreakBuffy the Vampire slayer heartbroken Sad

I had to take so many breaks. As soon as I could I went to my car and changed my shoes. I’ve decided to rest from squats. And heels. I’ll just have to accept my bod for what it is.

bodyimageloveself

Or focus on a different exercise!

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

For more on The Little Mermaid, go to I’m Not Gonna Lose Her Again

For more on Hans Christian Anderson, go to Disney Lesson

For more on my fashion style, go to Fashionably Postworthy

For more on Disney, go to Who’s Afraid of Cory Wolf?

For more fairy tales, go to Happily Ever Aftermath

For more book-y posts, go to Conan the Librarian

For more of my favorite quotes, go to Part XI: A Movie Line List ‘s Excellent Adventure

I Will Survive

I Will Survive

This brings us to our last post on the “Getting Over a Heartbreak” series:

gloria-gaynor-i-will-survive-1978

31) I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor

So here we are on the last post. I’m actually pretty sad to see these postings end. Now don’t get me wrong they are a lot of work and it will be nice to have a reprieve before Horrorfest III begins (which I expect you all to check out. You’re gonna love it, I know it!). But it was a lot of fun as I was able to cover all kinds of my favorite songs. It was a lot of emotions to go through as well, especially those earlier posts.

5ongBringthinstoMindPeopleEmotions

But they have been a lot of fun, and I’ve had an absolutely fantastic time.

musicnotes

Now onto the song. So I Will Survive was written by Freddie Perren and Dino Fekaris; and released by Gloria Gaynor in 1978. It became huge after it came out, not only being one of the most popular disco songs, but being Gaynor’s biggest hit. Yes, it is Disco and Disco rocks!

Mystery Men Disco is not dead disco is life

It scored #1 on Billboard Top 100 in 1979.  It has been covered by tons of artists and featured in all kinds of film.

The best thing about this song is that it hits every emotion you express after a breakup; sadness, anguish, fear, lonliness, anger, resentment, and eventually reaching the point where you don’t care anymore. You are over them.

Over You

You will survive

foreverthesickestkidslifegoeson

Not only does this song have powerful lyrics, but the music itself is amazingly upbeat and really gets you pumped up and ready for anything. After all:

DiscoHealing

At first I was afraid I was petrified

afraid pertrified
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side

neverfeelagain
But then I spent so many nights
Thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along

I'm through

GaynorGrewStrongSurvive

And so you’re back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second you’d be back to bother me
Go on now go, walk out the door

Get out
Just turn around now
‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore

I don't know you
Weren’t you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Do you think I’d crumble
Did you think I’d lay down and die?

IWillSurviveGG

Oh no not I. I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love

LoveComes
I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live

RelientKOneLifetoLive
I’ve got all my love to give and I’ll survive
I will survive! Hey, Hey!

surviveLifeLoveGG

It took all strength I had not to fall apart
Kept trying’ hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart

broken_heart_
And I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for myself, I used to cry

padme-youre-breaking-my-heart-gif-1
But now I hold my head up high
And you see me, somebody new
I’m not that chained up little person still in love with you

surviveGG
And so you felt like dropping in
And just expect me to be free
Now I’m saving all my lovin’ for someone who’s lovin’ me

wrongteachyaright

LoveTrueCinderella
Go on now go, walk out the door
Just turn around now
‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the one who tried to break me with goodbye
Do you think I’d crumble
Did you think I’d lay down and die?

Oh no not I. I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
I’ve got all my love to give and I’ll survive
I will survive, Oh

Go on now go, walk out the door
Just turn around now
‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the one who tried to crush me with goodbye
Do you think I’d crumble
Did you think I’d lay down and die?

Oh no not I. I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
I’ve got all my love to give and I’ll survive
I will survive,
I will survive!

IWillSurvive

musicnotes

Here is a complete list of the “Getting Over a Heartbreak” series:

1) If It Means A Lot to You by A Day to Remember

2) The End by Silverstein

3) I Don’t Love You by My Chemical Romance

4) Now You’re Gone by Everyday Sunday

5) Heartbreak Hotel by Elvis Presley

6) Good or Bad by Action Item

7) Love Stinks by J. Geils Band

8) That’s What You Get by Paramore

9) Chin Up Kid by Forever the Sickest Kids 

10) I’ll Be Alright Without You by Journey

11) For a Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic

12) Missing You by John Waite

13) Gone Forever by Three Days Grace

14) Put Me Out by The Used

15) But It’s Alright by Huey Lewis & the News

16) Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson

17) Move Along by All-American Rejects

18) Up and Up (Acoustic) by Reliant K

19) Red Rubber Ball by The Cyrkle

20) Over You by Daughtry

21) I Don’t Wanna Be in Love (Dance Floor Anthem)

22) Here I Go Again by Whitesnake

23) Love Will Find a Way by Pablo Cruise

24) Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey

25) The Lining is Silver by Relient K

26) Whip It by Devo

27) Be Good to Yourself by Journey

28) Any Way You Want It by Journey

29) Unbound by Avenged Sevenfold

30) Here I Go by Relient K

musicnotes

For more on Gloria Gaynor, go to I’ll Be Alright Without You

For more on Margaret Mitchell, go to At the End of the Rainbow

For more on Sarah Dessen, go to Happy B-day!

For more on Friends, go to Pizza Power

For more on Cinderella, go to Episode VI: Return Of the My Favorite Movie Lines’ List