Holy Smokes! Your Mom’s a Werewolf!: My Mom’s a Werewolf (1989)

Holy smokes! Your mom’s a werewolf.

Really?

This was the weirdest movie I have ever seen.

It looked like a fun ’80s horror film, but it was not.

So Leslie Shaber is your average housewife-who is extremely bored. Her daughter, Jennifer, is a mean sarcastic teenager who doesn’t want to spend any time with her, her husband works late and then is glued to the TV, the only excitement she gets is making up new and strange (gross looking) dishes that she eats alone.

Her daughter takes off to go to some Horror convention with her best friend Stacey who loves it-and is totally me and my love of classic horror. It also makes me think of someone else…

While Stacey is off on a booth, Jennifer goes to the gypsy and gets a prophecy from the gypsy fortune teller. She tells Jennifer that she has the mark of the pentagram, and will be attacked by a werewolf.

There have been strange attacks going on with a man hunting people.

Hmm…I feel like this information will come in handy later. From Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Meanwhile, Leslie has become angry and her husband and kids and decides to go off to shop away her bad feelings. She stops at the pt store and meets a strange red-eyed man Harry Thropen. Oh no, this dude is trouble. Stay away from him.

From The Twilight Zone

Leslie leaves and a thief tries to steal her bag, but Thropen comes to rescue and saves her belongings. He invites her to come to lunch, brainwashing her with his powers to come with him.

That’s not good.

They go out to lunch, where Jennifer comes upon them as she had a change of heart and wants to fix things between her mom and dad. She planned on bringing her flowers to try and pretend it is from her dad, but when she spots her mom eating with another man-she’s drops them and follows her.

Thropen convinces Leslie to go off with him, again using his powers, and they start getting down, showing way more than I would have expected with a PG rating. He is kissing her legs, when he bites her toe. That makes Leslie mad as it hurts and she snaps out of it and heads home,  Jennifer having witnessed the whole thing.

Leslie goes home and daughter is extra angsty and angry. Leslie is upset about her cheating and makes her husband the perfect meal and later-because if you haven’t guessed yet, she was bitten by werewolf-and is beginning to transform-is in the mood to be with her husband- her and her husband being extremely loud that night with their daughter in the house.

After that Thropen wants her and Leslie starts turning into the werewolf. First her teeth start growing fanglike and she goes to see a dentist who gets his jollies filing her teeth down. He’s like the freak dentist in Little Shop of Horrors

Now this is where the movie gets weirder. Leslie looks like this:

But  Jennifer is the only one who sees her and finds it weird. Like Leslie goes to the beauty shop like that and no one freaks out about how she looks.

That night Jennifer is holding a Halloween party and Leslie spends forever in Jennifer’s bathroom trying to get rid of her werewolf hair and such. I don’t know she doesn’t use her own (as it is off-limits to the party guests) It makes a huge line as all the guests wait outside to use the bathroom. It doesn’t do much as she can’t stop the hair from growing.

I’m a mess

So this film is really boring. I checked out of it. She keeps turning, she fights with the family, and she has a huge fight with Thorpen. Do be honest I didn’t care about the characters they all are rude, angry, don’t listen to each other, etc.

Ugh…

And a news crew shows up and films them, everyone knows at the end that werewolves are real?

In the end Jennifer transforms into a werewolf because she slayed the werewolf? What lore is that?

For more ’80s films, go to They Choose the Wrong Person to Be a Hero: Dark Crystal (1982)

For more on werewolves, go to Women are Like Werewolves

For more gypsies, go to Gypsy Justice: Thinner (1996)

I Don’t Want to Say Good-Bye: American Dreamer (1984)

Romantic Moment #5

American Dreamer (1984) 

So one weekend, my roommate Elaine went home to visit her parents. When she came back to college, she brought back a bunch of things and movies. She started showing me the different films and telling me about them, stopping at American Dreamer, and said that we had to watch it-that I would love it. She told me it was like Romancing the Stone, but better.

What?

I was like, I love Romancing the Stone. How could this be better? How could I possibly love it more?

Yeah right.

So we watched it. And I loved it! I watched it…

It is amazing!

Cathy Palmer is a bored housewife, dissatisfied with her life and marriage. Her husband pays no attention to her, doesn’t romance her, and only cares about his work.

She spends her days in the romance thrillers starring the spy and detective Rebecca Ryan.

The author of the Rebecca Ryan series is having a contest in which anyone can write a Rebecca Ryan story and the best one will win a week trip to Paris. Cathy enters the contest and wins!

She wants her and her husband to go, but he refuses and forbids her to travel. They fight, but Cathy decides to go anyway. When she gets there, she gets hit by a car, and when she wakes up thinks she is Rebecca Ryan!

Something is not right.

She takes off, goes on a shopping spree, and heads to Rebecca Ryan’s hotel. There she meets the author of the series’ son, Alan McMan, who she believes to be Rebecca Ryan’s sidekick Dimitri . She sets out to solve the “case” of who is trying to kill her, taking Alan along for the ride. The two get caught up in an actual mystery as they go to an embassy dinner, track down a political leader, get shot at, have to hide from sight, get in car chases, etc-trying to solve the crime.

Will Cathy ever gain her memory back? Will she and Alan survive this adventure? And will they solve this case of who is trying to kill them, before “the book ends”?

Most Romantic Moment: I Don’t Want to Say Goodbye

***Spoiler Alert***

So this comes near the end of the film. Alan and Cathy/Rebecca have gone on this wild adventure-with Cathy/Rebecca fainting and waking up to realize who she really is and what has happened-remembering everything.

She and Alan have a moment and it is time for them to separate, back to their daily lives. But even though this whole time he thought she was crazy, she had to drag him along, and all he wanted was for her to stop-he realizes how gray and lonely his life was before her and now he doesn’t want their time to end.

Alan McMan: [To Cathy] I don’t want to say good-bye

Swoon!

So romantic!

To start Romance is in the Air: Part V, go to Who Says I Have to Stop: Fireproof (2008)

For the previous post, go to Work Will Always Be There But You Might Not Be: The Greatest Show on Earth (1952)

 

Nothing Wrong With It

beingyourself-woman

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feminine Strength Empowered

What bothers me in the news these days; everywhere you look people are telling you as a women who you should be. You need to be a feminist. You have to be single, getting married will only harm your dreams. You should strive to be a CEO or scientist: housewife, teacher, etc.; are clichés and holding women back. You shouldn’t care about your appearance, that’s shallow and vain. On and on they go. But here is what I think:

Feminist or Anti-Feminist. Athlete or Fashionista. Housewife or CEO. Nerd or Cheerleader. A Good Girl or a Bad Girl. Damsel or Superhero. Overachiever or Underachiever. Mother Hen or Baby. Wise Crone or Foolish Youth. Spoiled or Humbled. Clingy or Independent. Single or Married.

Don’t let the world label you, real power and strength comes from being yourself.

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Go be strong in believing what you believe and being your true self.

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For more on Agatha Christie, go to A Whole Lot of Fanfare

For more on Sarah Dessen, go to The Strange Case of a Fangirl and Her Fandoms

For more quotes, go to Man of Respect