Growing Up Is Hard to Do

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For more Relationship Rules, go to What a Girl Wants For more on Nicholas Sparks, go to Basic & Simple For more quotes, go to I Just Haven’t Met You Yet Advertisements

Love Will Find a Way

So here we are, another step on the “Getting Over a Heartbreak” series. Next song:

23) Love Will Find a Way by Pablo Cruise

So this song was one I grew up listening to. And no I was not born in the ’60s or ’70s. My parents grew up in the ’60s and ’70s and were really into the music (of course). They had a bunch of records and my dad continuously bought CDs with all the ’70s hits that he grew up with. My love for music started with ’70s music and quickly grew foward to the ’80s and back to the ’50s. For me ’70s music will always hold a special place in my heart. In fact it makes complete sense to me that I scored that decade:

Go here to find out which one you are

Anyways, back to the song. So this was written in the 1970s, as I’m sure you guessed from the beginning of the post. It was a great pop/rock song that is really upbeat and catchy. It’s about how at first you might feel like:

And that you will never find anyone again who you will care about and will care for you. But, you do not need to give up. Love will find a way. Just keep your heart open.

Someone, someone’s done you wrong
You thought that your love was strong
Now you’re feelin’ like such a fool
You’re thinkin’ maybe if you said goodbye
You’ll understand the reason why
The love you had felt so cruel, um-hm

Oh, but it’s all right once you get past the pain
You’ll learn to find your love again
So keep your heart open
‘Cause love will find a way

Sometimes we all feel a need to change
Our love we have to rearrange
And move on to something new, yes you do
Your dreams feel like they’re fallin’ apart
You need to find a brand new start
But you’re almost afraid to be true to yourself

Oh, but it’s all right once you get past the pain
You’ll learn to find your love again
So keep your heart open
‘Cause love will find a way
Love will find a way, love will find a way

So now don’t, don’t be afraid of yourself
Just move on to something else
And let your love shine through again

Yes, ’cause it’s all right once you get past the pain
You’ll learn to find your love again
So keep your heart open
‘Cause love will find a way

Oh, but it’s all right once you get past the pain
You’ll learn to find your love again
So keep your heart open
‘Cause love will find a way

Don’t worry, you still have a chance of finding true love

And remember, never stop allowing yourself to love. Just because someone broke your heart, doesn’t mean that you should close yourself off from other people.:

Because you will find someone:

To start the “Getting Over a Heartbreak” series from the beginning, go to If It Means A Lot to You

To go to the previous post, go to Here I Go Again

For more of my fav songs, go to Over You

For more on 1970s music, go to Carry On Wayward Son

For more on not giving up, go to I Don’t Want to Be in Love (Dance Floor Anthem)

For more on Steve Maraboli, go to Missing You

For more of my fav quotes, go to Women in Black

For more on quizzes, go to It’s All Jane Austen’s Fault

Chin Up Kid

So here is another installment in the series of “Songs to Help You Get Over Heartbreak”. So we have moved past the crying and weeping, past regretfulness and love stinks, and now are at realization that it is a part of life. It happened once, and will again.

With this realization, it doesn’t always mean that you are over it (everyone moves on at their own speed) but that you are closer to being completely over it. This next song is:

9) Chin Up Kid by Forever the Sickest Kids

So this is another band I got into after listening to the Vans Warped Tour 2013 CD. Now I listened to this song over and over and over and over and over again, when I was dealing with my breakup. I really like it because of the lyrics, how true they are; along with having being a really upbeat song that makes you feel good. Plus their music video is amazing!!! You are going to love it!!!

The band wrote the song for those specific reasons.

“It’s a feeling that anyone who’s been through heartbreak will recognize. ‘Chin Up Kid’ can be a very relatable song to most. We wrote this song about keeping your head up through heartbreak and trying times. Young love can come and go before you realize you even had it. We hope this song motivates the listener to find inner strength to keep moving on and pressing forward.”

So here are the amazing lyrics.

Everybody hurts every once in a while
And everybody loses sleep with a broken heart
Good things come and go but kid you’ll learn how to cope
When something feels right, be ready to let it go

I remember hurting her and her hurting me
I remember losing sleep, she was haunting my dreams
It’s alright, chin up kid, it’ll all be fine
There’s not a wound in this world that won’t heal with time

You’re just a boy
She’s just a girl
You’ll break her heart
She’ll wreck your world
But life goes on, the ending’s the starting line
Chin up, press on, you will survive
Young love that lasts is hard to find
So chin up, press on, you will survive

Gotta learn to be OK with being alone
You gotta learn to love yourself before you love someone else
It’s hard to be patient
While she’s keeping you waiting

I remember loving her, her not loving me
And I remember losing sleep, she was haunting my dreams
And it’s alright, chin up kid, it’ll all be fine
There’s not a wound in this world that won’t heal with time

You’re just a boy
She’s just a girl
You’ll break her heart
She’ll wreck your world
But life goes on, the ending’s the starting line
Chin up, press on, you will survive
Young love that lasts is hard to find
So chin up, press on, you will survive

Woah oh oh, woah oh oh, woah
(Woah oh oh, woah oh oh, woah)
Woah oh oh, woah oh oh, woah
(Woah oh oh, woah oh oh, woah…)

And everything will be alright
And everything will be just fine
And everything will be alright
Yeah!

You’re just a boy
She’s just a girl
You’ll break her heart
She’ll wreck your world
But life goes on, the ending’s the starting line
Chin up, press on, you will survive
Young love that lasts is hard to find
So chin up, press on, you will survive

Life goes on, the ending’s the starting line
Chin up, press on, you will survive
Young love that lasts is hard to find
So chin up, press on, you will survive

You will survive!

No matter how painful something is you will survive and get over it. It just takes time.

For more on Songs to Help You Get Over Heartbreak, go to If It Means A Lot to You

To go to the previous post, go to That’s What You Get

For other posts you may like:

For more of my fav songs, go to Now You’re Gone

For more of my fav quotes, go to Heartbreak Hotel

For more on first loves, go to A Letter of Love

For more on how life goes on, go to The End by Silverstein

For more on how love stinks, go to Love Stinks

For more song off the Vans Warped Tour 2013 CD that have had an impact on me, go to Good or Bad

Love Stinks

So I found this quote the other day on pinterest:

Isn’t that so painful? It made me think of this other quote:

And it made me the next song in our heartbreak countdown

7) Love Stinks by the J. Geils Band

Now this has always been one of my favorite songs, even before my break up. I think this is just a fantastic song as everyone can connect to it; no matter what age, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, or musical preference. Yep, this song crosses every boundary as all have been hurt by love.

It is one of the most famous songs by  The J. Geils Band and was released in 1980. It has been covered numerous times, the most known and famous being Joan Jett, and Adam Sandler in the movie The Wedding Singer. The song was also featured in the films  Love Stinks and  Mr. Wrong. 

There is no real analyzation needed as the lyrics are just a rant against love. The lyrics were inspired by J. Geils Band lead singer Peter Wolf’s marriage to actress Faye Dunaway.

You love her
But she loves him
And he loves somebody else
You just can’t win 

And so it goes
Till the day you die
This thing they call love
It’s gonna make you cry 

I’ve had the blues
The reds and the pinks
One thing for sure

(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah

(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah

Two by two and side by side
Love’s gonna find you yes it is
You just can’t hide
You’ll hear it call

Your heart will fall

Then love will fly
It’s gonna soar
I don’t care for any casanova thing

All I can say is
Love stinks

(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah

(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah

I’ve been through diamonds
I’ve been through minks
I’ve been through it all
Love stinks

(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah

(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah

My fav is always going to be The Wedding Singer though.

But it will be okay

To go to the beginning of the Heartbreak series, go to If It Means A Lot To You

To go to the previous post, go to Good or Bad

Other posts you might be interested in:

For more of my fav songs, go to Heartbreak Hotel

For more of my favorite quotes, go to Girl on Fire

For more on The Wedding Singer, go to Wanna Grow Old With You

For more on ’80s music, go to It’s the Final Countdown

For more on Margaret Mitchell, go to At the End of the Rainbow

For more on Sarah Dessen, go to Happy B-day

For more on love triangles, go to There Are Many Strange Legends in the Amazon

The End: Goodbye Michael, Goodbye

All things must come to an end. And as stated before, my relationship with Michael has ended and with that any more posts about him. It’s time to fully move on. We had the Verne Saga, the Michael Drama, and now its time to move onto something completely new.

It’s hard to fully move on as I was counting down the days until I would see him again and couldn’t wait until I was home and could spend time with him. I was totally the guy in “If It Means A Lot to You” or “All My Lovin“. There are some days when I do great, and others when all I can think of is what could have been, what I could be doing with him. Some days I feel very much like Shawn Spencer in the Psych episode “Right Turn or Left For Dead“.

The hardest thing is not knowing exactly what happened that made him change his feelings for me. I keep contrasting the old Michael; (the Michael that played the piano for me, would text me cute things, the one that had to see me so much that he skyped me on his vacation, who spent all his evenings and some days with me, was waiting for the right moment to kiss me, who was excited to take me out on a “real” date, the guy who I had trouble getting him to stop talking to me on the phone); to the Michael that started ignoring me, and was so emotionally detached and standoffish. I just don’t know what happened.

I mean I was terrified to try a long-distance relationship as I thought it wouldn’t work out, but he was so secure and sure, he made me believe it and I don’t know what made him change his mind.

I went and returned some of his stuff and asked him what happened, but he wouldn’t answer me until I harshly pressed him. He told me that 1) I wasn’t the person he wanted to marry. This really threw me as matrimony was the furthest thing from my mind. I mean we had only  been dating 5 months of which only 2 did we interact everyday with each other (the other 3 we were apart), and I think that is waaaay  too short a time to be thinking of marriage. There was still so much we needed to learn about each other. We needed time to grow our relationship and be a couple before marriage could even be thrown on the table. I mean, how could he even know with that short of time? At the beginning of our relationship I mentioned that so many of my friends were getting married and having babies and that I was no where near ready for that anytime soon. I mean if he really wanted to get married, wouldn’t he have just have not dated me? I mean we talked about HIMYM and I told him how Ted’s constant falling in love and trying to marry girls who did not want to be married constantly annoyed me, and he agreed with me.  I know I never tried to pressure him into thinking we had to get engaged. I never even tried to pressure him into saying I love you. I never asked for a promise ring or any jewelry. I really feel that this is a copout.

He also told me that 2)”we were too different”. I don’t know why he would say that, as in the summer we “were so much alike“. I tried to press him on what was different and he couldn’t give any definite answer just kept repeating “we are too different”. I don’t understand what was so different; we both are human, grew up in church, lived in the same town, have suffered from addictions, are the youngest in our families, have similar morals, beliefs, values, and political thoughts/ideologies; loved to read similar stuff, watch the same type of movies, etc. I mean I don’t drink, but that’s not like I  judge anyone who does. I don’t have tattoos, but I never said anything about his other than when I said that the process looked extremely painful. I don’t know what he thought I wouldn’t be able to understand or empathize.

 He also said 3) he was  too aloof for me, and I demanded too much of his time. All I was asking for was 20mins a week to talk or skype, some texting, and seeing him once a month when I visited home. I don’t know where he will find any girl less dependent or consuming of one’s time. I actually don’t mind spending time by myself and doing my own thing, I missed him though and wanted to be with him. Besides when I was there this summer not only did he tell me how he hated being alone (kinda cancels out being aloof) but he spent practically every day with me, and I did not force him to do that.

I feel like the song “The End” by Silverstein, “you broke my heart, you promised me the moon and stars. I fell for your dreams. I fell for your lies.”

He told me so many things and I believed him. He talked about our future, making plans, and he didn’t come through. And the worst thing of all, he knew he wanted to break up with me, but didn’t have the courage to say anything. He lead me on. He allowed me to think nothing was wrong and let me plan spending my winter break with him. I searched for a perfect Christmas present for him, and when I texted him I had it, he already knew that he had no plans to spend Christmas with me. He knew that my Grandfather died and he said nothing. Any decent person would be there for someone who was hurting, but he just ignored me and my pain. It wasn’t immediate but for a while I just wanted to slap him or hit him. The song “Blow” by Atreyu describes how I felt about him.

But now I’ve gotten past that. I’ve forgiven him for what he did and how he hurt me. I really cared about him, and as pathetic as it might sound to some, I genuinely hope that he finds happiness, and someone to care about him as much as I did. I actually am starting to feel bad for him, as I know that I will find someone else who will treat me how I deserve, but he will have lost out on me. He’ll never find another girlfriend who didn’t care about his past, only the present and future. One who never pressed him about things in the past he didn’t want to discuss, but waited until he wanted to share. Who didn’t care that he couldn’t take her on a “real date” as she didn’t care about money but spending time with him. Who never judged or criticized him. Who always supported and encouraged him. Who sent him care packages, even though she was the one that was “away”. He will never find someone who will listen to all his hurts and insercurties and do everything in her power to make sure that she doesn’t contribute to them, but try and help him overcome them. I mean at times I felt like telling him that I had other guys very interested in me, but I knew he had previous relationships were the girls broke his trust and I didn’t want to to that. He will never, ever, ever, find a girl who when they broke up never told him about the hurt and bitterness he caused her, but tried to encourage him all the way in the end, sharing instead all the things she loved about him. Who told him that she loved him, not as a ploy to get back together or make him feel guilty, but because she did and because she honestly wished for his happiness. What can I say, I’m one in a million and he is going to miss out on me.

It’s funny, because when we started our relationship it reminded me of Lloyd and Diane from Say Anything. Michael was Lloyd, very adorable, easygoing, friendly, impulsive, full of life experiences, etc. And I was a much nicer version of the more structured, focused, not as socially experienced, more of a loner Diane. But somewhere along the way, I became Lloyd, and Michael Diane. Just like in the film,  something happenedc to change how Michael/Diane felt about the relationship, and instead of talking about it  they decided to break it off. Like Lloyd, I did a final move, although not nearly as epic as his boombox move. I was working on a CD to tell Michael how I felt about him as I was planning on dropping the L-Bomb on our fifth anniversary. We broke up two weeks before that, and I was going to delete the playlist, but finished and dropped it off asking him to just listen to it. He told me once that he always listens to any CD given to him twice, and I hope he listens to this one as nothing could better describe how I felt about him.

Now not everything was bad about what happened. I’ve always been afraid of commitment and allowing someone into that space of my life and with Michael I learned how to care, trust, and let down emotional walls. And except for the last three weeks of our relationship (when he started to ignore me), Michael was a pretty great boyfriend. He really made my summer special and I am so thankful for that, as it is the best summer I’ve ever had. I also found out that I am capable of long-distance relationships, as I never thought I would be able to. But I cared about him so deeply that while the distance was long and sad at times, it was worth it. And it was nice having a very intelligent, funny, attractive, sweet guy as my boyfriend, as short as it was. Plus he introduced me to some great bands. I’ve always liked all types of music (besides rap), but most of my musical knowledge ends in 1989, and he opened me up to some great stuff. I love A Day to Remember, Silverstein, Atreyu, Chiodos, Three Days Grace, My Chemical Romance, Streetlight Manifesto, and Avenged Sevenfold. I found a a7x sweater in a thrift store and almost bought it, but it was white and I always ruin my white sweaters. 😦 He had been lending me his CDs to check out the music, and I  (of course) had to return them to him. I then went to the library and put holds on everything they had from these bands.

It’s been about a month since we broke up and still hurts. This describes perfectly how I feel.

I know I’ll find someone else and I won’t settle for anything less than a Lloyd, Mr. Tilney, or  any of the amazing men in my Romance is in the Air series (or part II). I’ll be okay. The hardest thing is that there was this guy Martin who liked me when I was dating Michael, and when I let him know I had a boyfriend he backed off. As soon as he found out Michael and I broke up, he immediately upped his game. All the attention, the flirting he’s doing, etc.; hurts. It’s not coming from who I wanted it to be from. But in time I know I will heal. It won’t be easy, but I know I’ll come through this okay.