When Legendary Titans Meet: Godzilla vs. Kong (2021)

This is actually the first review I did of the Monsterverse trilogy, so I apologize if there are any repeats in this one.

So after Godzilla (2014) I resolved to never, ever again watch another one of the Godzilla films. You see I grew up watching all the old Godzilla films and I was so, so, so disappointed in the fact that we hardly had any Godzilla but it was just MUTO. It also was extremely boring and had a bunch of other issues. Yep, never-ever again.

But this past April I was watching my niece for her Spring Break and she wanted to see Godzilla Vs. King Kong. I did not want to watch it, but as it was my niece asking, I gave in. It actually was kind of circular as the last film I watched before everything shut down was King Kong (1933) and the first film I saw coming back in was a King Kong film.

So at this point in time I haven’t yet seen Kong: Skull Island but hopefully I can still follow everything.

Since writing this review I have watched the other two films that came prior to this one, (although I still have a lot of questions that were not answered). If interested in those reviews go to Kong: Skull Island or Godzilla: King of the Monsters. 

So the world has changed since we last saw Godzilla, as the world is recovering from the destruction he caused. To me it seemed this film was split into three storylines:

Madison Russell and the Curious Case of What is Really Going on at the Apex Corporation

Time to get on the case!

So one man has a podcast and he believes something strange is going down at Apex, a genetic corporation. He has infiltrated the company and believes himself to finally be on the cusp of a big scoop. As he tries to investigate what they are hiding, Godzilla attacks.

Everyone is upset and freaking out, except for Madison. They think they need to find a way to stop Godzilla, as all believe the way he protected them from the other Titans in the last film is over and that Godzilla is just going to harass and destroy everything and people everywhere. (Even though in every previous film he clearly only attacked when there was a titan/monster/alien.) But he did destroy a lot of things, so it does make sense that people are scared.

Madison still trusts Godzilla since he saved them last time and thinks something shady must be going down at Apex for Godzilla to attack when he only protects. Her dad, Dr. Mark Russell (Kyle Chandler) does not agree with her, and even though we saw in the last film how he would go to the ends of the Earth for his teenage daughter, in this her dad is really kind of checked out. He doesn’t seem to be worried about Madison, hardly checks in with her to see if she is okay, and even heads out to China to help with relief efforts without even speaking to his daughter. Like he doesn’t make sure to see her before he goes, or just make sure she has all she needs as he will be on the other side of the planet.

I mean she is a minor, she only has one parent, and he’s leaving her home after Godzilla just attacked their state to help in a country where Godzilla is going to attack. If she died or was injured he wouldn’t know where to find her or even start looking. If he died or was injured who’s going to take care of her? But more importantly, what happened to his character development?

Anyways, she is reluctantly joined by her friend in the search for the podcaster, as Madison believes she and him are the only ones who can find the truth. She and her friend do mange to track him down and she convinces him to break into the facility with her. She treats her friend really bad though, bullying him into coming along with them. And neither child tells an adult where they are or planning to go to, so if anything happens-no one will be there to save them.

You are just asking to be killed.

When they get to the Apex facility they hear people coming and of course hide in the pods that are to be shipped to China (something the podcaster had thought odd as they were shipping a lot to China, to a facility that can’t really handle the volume…or can it?) and end up being shipped to China. All I can think is what a nightmare that will be trying to come home. They have no money, no passports, they have illegally entered another country, it will be one serious mess.

After they arrive in China they don’t try to leave but continue to investigate and discover a large animal pen that it seems something is fighting something else. They also find some leftover monsters bits and all I can think of none of these people are movie fans as this room looks like the dinosaur pen they used for the demonstrations in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom when they were having the monsters “prove” themselves for the auction. It also made me think of the pen they throw Luke in, in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi and the one the crew fights in, in Galaxy Quest.

There the group sees a mechanical Godzilla fighting, yes we have MECHAGODZILLA!!! So for all you who don’t know, I grew up watching the old Godzilla’s and LOVED them. My brother and mom were giant fans and it was the only thing that my brother, who was eleven years older, was willing to do with me. My absolute favorite was Mechagodzilla and I was so pleased to see MechaGodzilla in this, but it turns out he misses 2/3 of the film.

What a ripoff! I’d rather see more more fighting of him then some of the other storylines.

Yes, it turns out that Apex stole a Rodan head from the previous film and have been using it to create their own Godzilla to fight and put mankind on top of the food chain. Madison is horrified at this, but the scientists at Apex are convinced it is the only way. By using the Rodan head they are also able to use his telepathic powers and communicate from the Rodan skull to the MechaGodzilla. They decide to fill it with a giant boost of electricity, but when they do it goes all Frankenstein, becomes alive, takes out its creators, and runs free into China-destroying it.

Yes, once again mankind has failed to learn anything- and we have another film where the creations has run amuck. (i.e. Frankenstein, Jurassic Park, Avengers: Age of Ultron, etc.)

Journey to the Center of Hollow Earth with Professor Lind, His Companions, and Associate King Kong

So this was what a majority of the film spent its time on and to be honest I thought this was the least interesting part of the film. Both my niece and I felt like the film seemed rather short and that there was too much Kong and not enough Godzilla.

So Kong is living on Skull Island where they keep him in a Truman Show like prison, including a fake top to make it always sunny and bright. The leading Kong specialist is there with the last remaining survivor of the native people from Skull Island, a little dead girl who is “friends” with Kong. The team there grows worried as the facility is not going to be able to hold him forever and they don’t know what they will do when it can’t. They also worry about Godzilla as the ancient drawings foretell of the two fighting and bringing destruction to Earth.

But what happened to all the other people? How did they construct this? They did not answer those questions in Kong: Skull Island. How did this woman become the expert on Kong? How long have they had this dome?

Hmm…

In a University in America, professor Linton (Alexander Skarsgard), is sitting in his little office when he is approached by the head of Apex. Apex tells him he is fascinated by his book and his theories of a Hollow Earth, the idea of a world inside ours where these monstrous creatures/Titans come from, and also possibly still roam. This is very much like Journey to the Center of the Earth and I 100% believe that the professor is based off the one in the book. I do like that in the previous film they had mentioned this Professor Linton and his book, nice job on the continuity.

Apex want Professor Linton to launch a new expedition, but he is not interested as his brother died trying to go into the center of the earth. The theory is impossible to test as the pressure is too great to handle with its reverse gravitational pull and kills anyone who tries to go through the only opening they have currently found, in Antarctica. (This makes me think a lot of Alien Vs. Predator.)

It turns out APEX has been building something to help conquer the gravitational pull as they encourage the professor to try it as it is necessary better understand these giant creatures and maybe find a way to lure them all home. This whole encounter gave me really weird vibes and I can’t believe the Professor wasn’t questioning why they were being so philanthropic. I would immediately be wondering what they were really after.

Hmm…

But professor wants to experiment, so he agrees. But before they can go he does need something, he needs someone originally from that area to lead them back-he needs a Titan. He needs Kong. He decides to pay a visit to an old friend, and possibly ex-girlfriend (there is a vibe), who is the leading Kong expert.

At first Dr. Andrews isn’t eager to help, but when he convinces her that Kong could go home, where he will be much happier than his gilded cage, along with the possibility that he might not be the only one and able to actually have a family: she agrees. But she will only help if she can join the expedition with her adopted daughter, the native girl. They are also joined by some other scientists, the military, and the daughter of the the head of APEX, Maia.

They travel through the sea and of course attract the attention of Godzilla. The two fight, them having to unchain Kong, and the fight was alright. I thought the Godzilla KOTM film was much better. I mean this whole concept is hard for me as Kong is just a giant ape while Godzilla can shoot fire from his mouth!

They manage to stop the fight only when they shut off all the power and pretend to be dead. They airlift Kong the rest of the way, the daughter, Jia, convincing him to go down and see his “family” and they all go through to Hollow Earth which reminds me exactly of Journey to the Center of the Earth book by Jules Verne.

There Kong finds “his” throne room and an axe made with a scale from Godzilla. He places it in a slot and it shoots out a signal that attracts Godzilla who shoots a hole down to Kong and Hollow Earth. There the APEX’s CEO daughter, Maia, uses a machine to send the signal back, I was a little confused at to how this worked exactly, but it is just what her father needed to power up MechaGodzilla.

Maia and her group try to leave but are crushed by Kong, making professor and co the only ones to escape. When they come above ground, Kong and Godzilla meet up and fight. Which leads us to…

Godzilla Versus Kong Versus MechaGodzilla

So for a film that is titled Godzilla versus Kong, it actually doesn’t make up that much of the film. The fights scenes were okay, but again one is flesh, fur, bone, and strength. The other has plates, is strong, and can shoot Fire! Godzilla can shoot fire, he is obviously going to win!

The two fight with Godzilla at a slight disadvantage as he used a lot of his Fire when shooting the hole to Kong. The fight scene is cool and of course Godzilla overpowers Kong and knocks him out, leaving him to go off to fight MechaGodzilla.

Kong is dying is like I said, Godzilla has FIRE! And the only way to revive him is to restart Kong’s heart. If only they had a machine with enough juice to light Las Vegas. Oh wait! They do! Good thing the APEX CEO had mentioned that one he first met the professor about his new machines. They use it to restart his heart and he is up again.

Meanwhile MechaGodzilla has been going on a rampage and fighting Godzilla, being too much for him to handle (false in my book). Kong and Godzilla team up to fight, Godzilla superpowering Kong’s axe.

Meanwhile MechaGodzilla’s controls are trying to be hacked by Madison and co but they are extremely unsuccessful. Her friend has the idea to use Bernie’s flask of alcohol that he always has on him (for his last drink) and throws it on the controls, short circuiting him as Kong gives the final whack. Afte they defeat MechaGodzilla, Godzilla and Kong give each other a nod and decide not to fight, each going their own way.

We end the film with Madison running outside APEX and just happening to find her dad in a city of a bazillion people, where everyone has been running around scared. Meanwhile, Kong, Prof, & co all head to Hollow Earht for a a happily ever after

Yeah, this was way better than Godzilla (2014) but I think King of Monsters was a much better film with plot and action. This one was not only really plot heavy but only focused on Kong instead of the two of them. I also think the use of previous characters were nice but they didn’t really add much to the story. We could have had the same story without them. This film didn’t make me want to get my money back like Godzilla (2014) or Kong, but I also felt really meh about it all.

The Facebook cover photo:

For more Godzilla, go to They’re Everywhere. Battling for Dominance. A Rival Alpha to Godzilla.: Godzilla King of the Monsters (2019)

For more King Kong, go to Kong’s God on the Island, But the Devils Live Below Us: Kong, Skull Island (2017)

For more monsters, go to Peculiarities, Monsters, and Time Travel.: Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children (2016)

They’re Everywhere. Battling for Dominance. A Rival Alpha to Godzilla.: Godzilla King of the Monsters (2019)

They’re everywhere. Battling for dominance. A rival alpha to Godzilla.

So after Godzilla (2014) I resolved to never, ever watch another one of the Godzilla films. You see I grew up watching all the older Godzilla films and I was just so, so, so disappointed in the fact that we hardly had any Godzilla and just the scummy old MUTO. But this past April I was hanging out with my niece for her Spring Break and she wanted to see Godzilla Vs. King Kong. So of course I took her (and that review will be posted next week) and I thought the film was only okay.

Meh.

But as I didn’t watch this film before there were a few things I was a bit lost in. When I was flying home from visiting my niece I saw that this film was one of the options to watch on the flight, and I thought why not check it out. Hopefully it is not as bad as the 2014 Godzilla, and maybe better then the okay 2021 Godzilla? Let’s find out!

So watching the credits I spot Sally Hawkins, you know Anne Elliot in Persuasion (2007). Was she in the first one? It’s been so long since I’ve seen it and I don’t remember much other than I hate it and it was a waste of my money.

So the film begins at the end of Godzilla (2014), Dr. Emma Russell and Dr. Mark Russell (Kyle Chandler) lost their son in the attack on San Francisco. Me being me I had to find out why they didn’t continue with the characters of Brodie (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), his son, and his unfaithful wife (at least that was the vibe she gave me as she seemed to care so little about him). It turns out they had to replace the characters as Elizabeth Olsen (the wife) was busy with The Avengers and Aaron Taylor-Johnson was busy in something else. So we have these new characters that we know nothing about. I really hate when movies do this as they are trying to force an emotional connection that isn’t there.

I don’t know them!

So Emma and Mark have split up, extremely common after a child passes, and Mark is off studying wolves, having left the goverment program Monarch that is tracking and trying to control the Titans (Godzilla, MUTO, all the other creatures in the Monsterverse). She has Madison and is out in China studying Mothra. That seems weird to me, as why would the court grant her custody over the father in her line of work, as she’s up close and personal with unstoppable monsters!? Anyways. Emma is working on this machine to speak to the monsters and hopefully enable humans to communicate with them. They get word that Mothra is waking up and Emma goes running to fetch Madison to be a part.

Now this seems really weird to me as she is just a chilld not an employee, why would they allow Emma to bring daughter to this serious event, especially one that could go wrong at any moment. Why would she want to risk the life of her daughter? All I could think is that we had better protocals at the museum I interned at than this top secret facility with giant creatures.

Anyways, things start going wrong with Mothra (like I said), but they get the machine working and Mothra is calmed down. Unfotunately, right after a team comes in and shoots everyone up, kidnapping Madison and Dr. Emma .This group is lead by Abel Jonah (Charles Dance), ecoterrorist.

After this is discovered, Mark’s old friends and coworkers at Monarch, Dr. Ishirō Serizawa (Ken Watanabe) and Dr. Vivienne Graham (Sally Hawkins), approach him and let him know the situation. Mark goes with them and they have a size contestent with some of the other guys, it ending when Mark angrily yells that we should kill all the Titans and Godzilla. But he does calm down and notices that Godzilla is moving from his usual area and tells them to they should follow him, the team heading to Antartica.

Meanwhile, in Antarctica Jonah, Emma, and the team run into the Blob, I mean the Thing, no a Giant Behemoth, oops I mean a frozen monster, Monster Zero who is actually King Ghidorah. Why do they even call him Monster Zero? I mean he isn’t even the first Titan they discovered. Is he the oldest? They never say.

You know what else is weird, this ecoterrorist took everyone out in the Monarch facility, but they only had like five guys. You think the Monarch facility would have a ton of people and security. What did they have, just two gunned guards guarding a giant creature? Seriously?

So the Monarch team follows Jonah & co, and Mark goes all in trying to save his daughter and Emma-who at this very moment are waking up King Ghiddorah. King Ghiddorah and Godzilla fight, Dr. Graham being killed in the process, and Mark goes up against Jonah and his team who have huge weapons while he has an itty bitty gun. He manages to subdue them, but then Dr. Emma does something weird. Instead of going with him, she and Madison run off with Jonah.

So instead of going with her husbsnd she goes with the ecoterrorist? Is she in on it? OMG did she betray her team so she could use her machine? Was she seduced by the temptation to test scientific boundaries? OMG this is just like in The Thing From Another World isn’t it? (Why haven’t I reviewed that movie yet! Darn). She’s just like that crazy doctor too. You know I hope she dies for all the trouble she is going to cause. She doesn’t care about any of the innocents that are going to die for her scientific achievements. She doesn’t even care that she is risking her daughter’s life. What a terrible person!

So everyone is debating whether or not Emma betrayed them, her team not believing she could, but Mark assuring them she did. Meanwhile Dr. Che searches mythology for what this creature Monster Zero is and can find “zero information” because “people were too afraid”. Uh, King Ghidorah looks like the Hydra. I mean right away I knew that and she could find zero information? Where is she looking? What kind of reserch credentials does she have that she can’t tell that? Has she never seen a movie of Hercules? Read a myth? Seen any artwork? I mean she could do a google search and find tht info, how with all Monarch has is she able to find zero? Especially in the Hercules, Lore Olympus, Percy Jackson world we live in?

So Emma sends the group a video message to tell them why she decided that these Titans needed to be awakened, as she believes they will heal the world citing all the improveents we have had since Godzilla destroyed San Francisco and it grew back with trees and such (although Godzilla is radioactive wouldn’t that destroy the land? Hmm?) She doesn’t care who dies saying that it is the price needed to pay for what happened, and those that survive will adapt to serve ou new overlords. She warns them to find a Monarch secret shelter and hide out there awaiting until all the destruction ends, signing off at the end.

What really surprises me is that Madison is okay with her mom betraying everybody and causing mass death and destruction, especially as you think she would have a lot of trauma from when Godzilla attacked San Francisco and not wish that on anyone else. But she doesn’t care either. Like doesn’t she have any non-Monarch friends she is worried for? Ones that won’t have access to bomb shelters?

And her reasoning makes me hate the mom even more. Who made you the one to decide everyone’s fate and that people are just expendable? Huh, I bet you wouldn’t feel that way if it was you child in trouble, but sice it isn’t you don’t care that millions will die. And yes, it turns out all those people in her team were murdered by her command. What a jerk. I hate her.

Emma awakens Rodan in Mexico, the Monarch team trying to help evacuate people, but they get there too late to save them all. Rodan is defeated by King Ghidorah-and then Godzilla shows up.

The fighing scenes are the best as to be honest, we don’t really know a lot about these characters so I don’t really care about them at all. Like Mark is okay and Dr. Ishirō because he was in the first film-but the rest I don’t know and don’t really care about. What I do care about is watching Godzilla destroy things and this gave me exactly what I was wanting.

Godzilla rips out a head, woohoo! I have to say I am extremely happy to see how much Godzilla was in here, vast improvement.

But unfortunately before Godzilla can take King Ghidorah out, the military shoots the two with an oxygen depleting missile that shortens Godzilla out, but King Ghidorah is unaffected. He even grows his head back and wrecks havoc everywhere. Man sometimes humans suck.

Emma and her eco crew continue to awaken Titans going from South America, to Arizonia, to Germany, and so on.

So Dr. Chen still hasn’t found out anything from King Ghidorah even though him growing back a head is so Hydra. Like all I can think is this is why Gen Ed classes are important. Maybe if she had taken a Greek History class, Mythology, or art history she would have recognized it right away and know what they are dealing with.

Madison, meanwhile, has started to have second thoughts about everything and plans to escape. She takes some supplies, the Orca (machine that wakes the monsters up), and sneaks out of the underground bunker. Again, I see that this team has adopted a no security policy along with a let’s not protect our important invention policy. Really, really guys? You are supposed to be tough ecoterriorists?

Finally Chen finds “something” in the research that reveals King Ghidorah is an alien and not of our world (hence the oxygen missile not working on him). How I don’t know as I though people were “too afraid” to document him.

Mothra has imerged from her Chrysalis and goes to Godzilla. With a submarine the team go under the water ad find the ruins of a city that Mark calls Egyptian, but the statues look more like the Greek Kores to me. What is this supposed to be, Atlantis?

Anyways, it is Godzilla’s home where they find him recuperating. They need to help him and decide to nuke Godzilla to give him the extra juice he needs. The only problem is, the ship was damaged so the only way to do it is of course manually, Ken Watanabe sacrificing himself for the world. This scene is actually very cute as he brings the watch that stopped when Jappan was bombed in WWII and reaches out touch Godzilla, the creature he’s been studying forever before he goes.

Godzilla gets the juice and wakes up raring to go.

You know, how come we don’t ever hear the song of Godzilla anymore? I remember hearing it in the old movies and I wish they would bring them to the new films

So Emma is starting to have some second thouhts as the Titans aren’t “healing” the world like she thought they would. She mentions trying to use the Orca in Fenway Park to stop them listening to King Ghidorah. Madison overhears her, takes her supplies, the Orca and heads to the park. Now I’m super surprise that she knows how to do this. I’m not trying to go against her intelligence or anything, but I’m surprised that Monarch doesn’t have a policy that you cannot take things home with you or only authorized personel should be handeling this. Like shouldn’t all this be confidential so this doesn’t happen?

So Madison gets the machine working and stops the Titans’ destruction, or should I say extra destruction, but all Titans start coming toward her-espechially King Ghidora.

Emma discovers that Madison and the machine is missing and big surprise-she no longer thinks that humans should be killed and destroyed, when it is her daughter. Mmhmm…

Mark and his team run into Emma as they search for Madison, going home which is all intact. Just like in War of the Worlds.

Meanwhile, the monsters fight, just what I’ve been wanting. Mothra Vs. Rodan, Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah, King Ghidora vs. Mothra and Godzilla. It’s awesome.

Godzilla is going nuclear, Mothra sacrifices herself to give him an extra boost while Emma sacrifices herself, paying for the murders of the people she killed, and Madison, Mark, and the team get away.

Godzilla defeats everyone who opposes him, all that remain bow to him.

This was much better than the first film as it gave you what you wanted, watching Godzilla fight and destroy things. The human interest angle was lacking, but if I have my Godzilla fighting, that makes me happy.

And the Facebook cover:

For more on Godzilla, go to Let Them Fight: Godzilla (2014)

For more on monster movies, go to Something’s Out There and It’s Killing People! And If It’s Monsters, Nobody’s Going to Do a Thing About it Except Us!: The Monster Squad (1987)

We’re Mad Scientists. We’re Monsters: Avengers, Age of Ultron (2015)

“We’re mad scientists. We’re monsters.”

So I know many of you see this film on this list and are probably thinking to yourself:

Why would I put an action/adventure, superhero film on my list of horror films? Well I’m including it because of this reason: 1) You have two, not one, TWO scientists who create two, not one, but TWO creatures.

So I’m sure you all who have been following me know how much I liked The Avengers film that came out two years ago.

Not me, that’s for sure.

I loved this film and thought it was the best superhero film. It covers a team, but each character was given their own moment to shine. It had great dialogue, amazing scenes, and was just altogether fantastic.

Now as for the sequel? How did I feel about it.

I thought it was horrible!!!!!

And it sucks because I was jazzed about this film. James Spader? Love him in everything! Our dream team, the Avengers? Awesome! Having some X-Men characters finally in it and teasing with a full on cross over? YES!

But then is sucked.

You ruined it!!!!

And believe me, my opinions based on this film isn’t just from one viewing. I saw it at the midnight showing, I saw it in 3-D the Sunday after with my nephew, and then my friend and I went and saw in June after seeing Jurassic World. Each time I saw it, the more I thought it was just done poorly, 2015’s Godzilla (which strangely, the same actors who were husband and wife in that movie are the Maximoff twins in this one.)

So this is going to be a slightly different review, I will give a brief synopsis and then go on to list why I didn’t like this film.

So the film starts with the Avengers taking down what they believe is the last cell of HYDRA out in a small Eastern European country. They are also after the scepter Loki had in the first film. They believe they have accomplished it when they run into two “enhanced creatures” or whatever they call them, Wanda/Scarlet Witch and Pietro/Quicksilver Maximoff. Wanda has the power to manipulate reality, while Pietro can run at super fast speeds.

Wanda uses her powers to cloud each Avengers mind and mess with their ability to think, espechially Tony Stark. After the defeat, of everyone, (except the Maximoff twins), the team returns home to the tower in New York to have a party and celebrate the end of the Avengers.

Tony convinces Thor to allow him to study the scepter, believing he can use it to create a robot that will be able to save humanity and keep it safe. He convinces Bruce Banner to assist him. See here is where we have the Frankenstein parallels.

In Frankenstein, Dr. Frankenstein believed that his work could save humanity: it could bring about immortality, he could save people who’s limbs were lost reanimating dead limbs; etc. Instead he creates a creature, that immediately tries to destroy him. It also has a goal in mind and tries to force Frankenstein into playing his games and doing what he wants. Frankenstein realizes his mistake in trying to take God’s place and create something he has no control over, but it is too late. His creature has decided to destroy not only him, but everything he loves.

With Tony, he believed that his work could save humanity: it would protect them from aliens and any threat too large for humans to handle. Instead he creates a creature, Ultron, that immediately tries to destroy him. It also has a goal in mind and tries to force Tony into playing his games and doing what he wants. Tony realizes his mistake, but it is too late. His creature has decided to destroy not only him, but everything he loves.

The team has discord and seems to be falling apart, when after a brief pastoral retreat they come back in the game and go after Ultron. They steal the machine he was going to use to create the perfect body, with Tony comes up with a second idea. Use Ultron’s plan, but instead of Ultron, input his best friend/butler, J.A.R.V.I.S.

So here we have The Bride of Frankenstein parallels.

In the Bride of Frankenstein, Frankenstein has realized his mistake. Never again will he ever make another creature, but instead be satisfied with what he has already accomplished. Then an old friend, ), comes around and convinces him to make another creature, to be the opposite and balance out the first. Now while Frankenstein knows it is wrong, and has seen how out of control things could get with his first creation, he decides to do it again creating a bride for the creature.

So in this Bruce Banner has realized his mistake in assiting in creating Ultron. Never again will he ever make another creature, but instead be satisfied with what he has already accomplished. But then Tony starts wheedling him, insisting and convincing him to make another creature, to be the opposite and balance out the first. Now while Bruce knows it is wrong, and has seen how out of control things could get with his first creation, he decides to do it again creating a yin to Ultron’s yang, Vision.

So after the create Vision, they go after Ultron, ending back where the film started; but this time with Vision, Scarlet Witch, & Quicksilver (Wanda and Pietro both choosing to go with the Avengers than Ultron).

The fight to save the world, losing an avenger in the process. Back in New York, the old has gone it’s own way and a new Avenger team is born.

Now on to the issues.

1) What an Opening, “What” as in “What is Going On?”

The first scene was all over the place, in a ton of slow motion, and unrealistically packed with action that I thought they were pulling a Toy Story 2 and it was a video game.

I mean come on, in that one scene they are practically posing for the camera.

It might have been the drugs I was on for my ear infection, but yeah I legitamitely thought it was some kind of tease, that is how horribly fake looking that beginning is. It didn’t feel like it was happening, but as if you were watching a bad community play. I mean I saw several times where Black Widow should have been shot but “wasn’t”. The fighting in the first one was much better.

Also no context as to what it going on, why are they after Loki’s scepter? Where did it go after the first Avengers film? Now some people might say “if you watch the TV show you’ll know”, but that’s not what a sequel is about. A sequel is created to enhance characters or events from the first film/book, having a progression from the previous to the next. Not suddenly throw everything at you with you like I don’t know what is going on.

2) Slow Mo needs to Go No Mo’

Honestly Joss Wheedon, the ’90s called, they want their special effects back. But seriously, waaaaaaay tooo much. It looks horrible, it is distracting, and just takes your viewer out of the right state of mind.

3) Calling Someone Out for Cursing Worth Talking About, But Create an Evil Robot and That’s Just a Moment Thing

Seriously. This a running joke for everyone, it keeps rearing its ugly head throughout the film. But Tony? They are mad for a nanosecond, and then they move on. Really guys? Really? The Robot is definitely worse and worth discussing.

And he doesn’t make just one thing, but TWO! TWO!!!!!

4) Enhanced Not Mutated

I don’t know who’s idea it was to not make them mutants and the children of Magneto, but that was beyond stupid.

THEY ARE MUTANTS NOT ENHANCED MUTANTS!!!!!! And they are Magneto’s children.

5) Clintasha or Brutasha?

So I did not like Black Widow and Hulk together. I really wanted it to be Black Widow and Hawkeye.

Now I might not have minded the whole Brutasha if it weren’t for the fact that it came out of left field. Natasha does go get him in the first Avengers film, but that’s all we see of their interactions. There is nothing to suggest anything romantic, and no chemistry between them,  but yet we are expected they are considering running away together?

6) Visions…I Guess?

So what is up with the visions that Scarlet Witch makes. They never really explain her powers in the film so is it magic? Really the future? What?

They also don’t make any sense. For Tony it is his fear, and a bit of the future. Black Widow, a hidden memory, Thor a fear/vision. Captain America? How does what he sees relate to anything?

7) Tony Pop Culture Allergy?

So unlike Captain America, Thor, Black Widow, etc. Tony is a HUGE pop culture junkie. Yet when he creates artifical life, he doesn’t even consider how things could go horribly wrong. Wouldn’t he have seen Jurassic Park, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Frankenstein, The Terminator, I Robot, etc? Espechially as three that I just listed involve bad robots? Wouldn’t that make him pause, at least for a moment.

8) I Leeloo Ultron Robot

The part when Ultron awoke and then starts researching to figure out his purpose and what he’s supposed to do made me think if The Fifth Element.

Ultron’s breakdown around his objective is also very similar to V.I.C.K.I., in I Robot, when she starts killing mankind to save mankind.

9)Massive Iron Man Vs. Hulk

I feel like someone thought of this and then wrote the script around it. I know everyone thought it was super cool, but I actually thought it was kind of a worthless scene.

10) Green Acres is the Place to Be

So the whole crew go out to Clint’s farm so that they can regroup and figure out a new plan. To me it seems like a ripoff from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990), when they go to upstate New York to heal and refigure out what to do.

11) Motorcycle Mama Knows NO Bounds of Gravity

When Ultron tosses the ground at Black Widow and she is able to not only stop in time but turn so she isn’t hurt.

Really?

Impossible and dumb thing to do. Just no, no.

12) Copying Captain Underpants

So there was this book series in the early 2000s, Captain Underpants, about two kids, George and Harold, who hypnotize their principal into thinking he is their comic book creation, Captain Underpants.

In the sequel, Attack of the Talking Toilets, George and Harold use the nerdy kid’s  science fair project, a 3D printer, and accidentally bring a giant toilet and his toilet army to life.

When Captain America isn’t able to stop them, they then create a Giant Robot to battle and destroy the toilets.

Avengers: Age of Ultron is like the same exact plot. Just switch out toilets for Ultron & the robots, and Giant Robot for Vision.

13) A Death That Didn’t Need to Happen

So people have been complaining that no one really dies in a superhero film, they always come back to life again. This coupled with Joss Wheedon liking to make us cry, meant he was going to kill someone and he killed Pietro.

That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. The man has SUPER SPEED!!!! You really think he wouldn’t be able to just move around the bullets in time?

I mean for once Fox did a better job than Disney.

Just so much awesome.

And if they are going to kill him, why not save him in the Stargate cradle thing? Hawkeye used it. And why does he, Cho, and Coulson get to survive?

You know why, because he is just being a pain, like Wes Craven when he killed Randy but let Dewey survive. And you know what Wheedon? Because that was so stupid, I’m going to ignore it.

Let’s face it, we all know how it should have ended:

So no banner as I couldn’t find a pic that worked right. Instead I’m going to end with those who criticize films best:

To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to A Giant Metal Man: The Iron Giant (1995)

For more on The Avengers, go to Avengers Assemble!

For more evil robots, go to She’s Been Totally Different…Like Stepford: Ted, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997)

For more mad scientists, go to Unleash the Savage Instincts that Lie Hidden Within: I Was A Teenage Werewolf (1957)

For more Frankenstein, go to It’s Alive, It’s ALIVE!: Frankenstein (1931)

For more on The Bride of Frankenstein, go to I Want Friend Like Me: The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

For more on sequels, go to It’s Happening Again, Isn’t It?: Scream 2 (1997)

For more How It Should Have Ended, go to I’ll Be Back: The Terminator (1984)

For more CinemaSins, go to Let Them Fight: Godzilla (2014)

 

Do the Right Thing

That’s the truth!

Truer words have never been spoken! This is the sort of person you should try to be.

In fact I would like to dedicate this post to all those who have served and are currently serving in the military. Thank you for being true heroes and protecting all us back here in the U.S.

Happy Memorial Day!!!

For more on Memorial Day, go to True Success

For more holiday posts, go to Resurrection Sunday

For more Boy Meets World, go to Be Who You Are

For more Captain America, go to Avengers Assemble

For more quotes, go to Mere Stupidity