If It Means A Lot to You

So if you remember my post back in Dec, I’ll Be Alright Without You, I talked about creating a post that listed my favorite songs to help one get over heartache/a breakup; namely what songs really helped me. Well previously I wasn’t in the best place to do it, but now that it has been like eight months since we’ve broken up I’m doing great and can totally handle it.

At least for the most part, like Audrey says in Sabrina, even if you are over things certain songs can bring back memories.

The other reason that I have decided to do this list is that I just had a friend go through a breakup and was really struggling, so I promised to put together a compilation for her that helped me through everything.

So actually instead of doing them in all one post, I decided to do a series of posts, weaving them through everything else, so that it isn’t one straight sobfest. I mean imagine trying to storm through constantly sad things?

After all:

So that brings us to the first song on this list

1) If It Means A Lot to You

So when my ex and I first started dating he gave me a bunch of CDs to listen to. And one of them was this CD by A Day to Remember. It was pretty fitting as I was away from Michael and a lot of the songs expressed how I felt about us being apart. In fact I used to listen to this song all the time pre & post-breakup. (I’m not sure if that is romantic or pathetic? Hopefully romantic) So the series is a little scattered, not all songs focus on being “homesick”, however If It Means A Lot to You does. I actually think it is the most powerful song on the whole list, and my favorite (as I connected the most to it).

This song took me the longest to write. It took almost a year, but it was another song that kinda stumped me. I really needed this song to say exactly what I wanted, and I finally got it there. We didn’t know if it would be on the record right up until the end of recording. I wrote it separate from the band, and I wasn’t comfortable changing things. It all worked out in the end, though. I think it’s the perfect end to this record.

                            – Jeremy McKinnon

So the premise of the song is that a guy has to be on the road away from home, and while he doesn’t want to leave his girlfriend, he has to go. He talks about how he knows things are hard and getting rough, but if she could just wait a little longer then he knows everything will be okay, that they will be able to work through everything. She, however, can’t wait. She can’t do it and breaks up with him. It is a heartwrenching song and even more so because it described EXACTLY how I was feeling.

So the song starts off with the guy singing to the girl that he hopes everything is going well with her and that he just needs to hear from her, anything to get him by the time they are apart. This was totally how I felt, because a few weeks before we broke up Michael stopped texting and calling me. I would ask him when he was free to talk/skype as I missed him and he would tell me he was “busy” ,”didn’t know his schedule”, etc. I mean I found some texts that I thought I deleted, but my phone saved (grr) and its pretty pathetic my responses. “Well just let me know when you are free, I miss you” and “Okay we can try to talk later”, etc. I’d like to say aliens momentarily took over my brain, but that’s not true. It’s hard to accept that someone you cared for and cared for you has just stopped liking you. You kind of go into denial about it. Of course I know now that I’m in my right mind, I should have seen the signs. After all:

So back to the lyrics and the song

And hey darling,
I hope you’re good tonight.
And I know you don’t feel right when I’m leaving.
Yeah, I want it but no, I don’t need it.
Tell me something sweet to get me by,
‘Cause I can’t come back home till they’re singing

La, la la la, la la la,
Till everyone is singing

The next part is all about how he knows that if she can just wait a little longer, that he knows everything will work out and be okay. I wasn’t originally going to go home for Thanksgiving break as my aunt was getting married and my whole family was going to the opposite end of the state to do that, and Michael said he couldn’t get the time off to join my family. I however convinced my parents to take me home instead of right back to school as I wanted to see him, as I too thought that if he could wait until I got home we would be able to work through whatever was going on. That everything would be okay.

If you can wait till I get home, 
Then I swear to you that we can make this last. 
(La la la) 
If you can wait till I get home, 
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past. 
Well it might be for the best.

So then we have the girlfriend’s response that she just can’t do it anymore, that she needs him. As much as I hate what she does to the guy at least she gave a reason for why she was breaking up, I just got the “I don’t think you’re my future bride” response, which was like pulling teeth trying to get him to say anything why he broke it off. 

And hey sweetie,
Well I need you here tonight,
And I know that you don’t wanna be leaving me
Yeah, you want it, but I can’t help it.
I just feel complete when you’re by my side,
But I know you can’t come home till they’re singing

La, la la la, la la la,
Till everyone is singing.
La, la la la, la la la.

If you can wait till I get home,
Then I swear to you that we can make this last.
(La la la)
If you can wait till I get home,
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past.
Well it might be for the best.

So in the next part she tells him she can’t wait its over. And he freaks out, like is this really truly happening? How can this be my life? Let me say that everytime I hear that part my heart stops just like when Michael said he wanted it to be over.

And he is in shock at how this can acutually be happening. Yep, I felt that too. And just like the singer in this song, I did not want to be “just friends”. I personlly don’t believe and can’t understand how one can go from being so much more to “just friends”? How can you watch the person who just rejected you pick up their life and move on, while you sit in heartbreak and try very slowly to work past the pain? I sure don’t know.

 

You know you can’t give me what I need.
And even though you mean so much to me,
I can’t wait through everything,
Is this really happening?
I swear I’ll never be happy again.
And don’t you dare say we can just be friends.
I’m not some boy that you can sway.
We knew it’d happen eventually.

La, la la la, la la la,
Now everybody’s singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
Now everybody’s singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
(If you can wait till I get home)
Now everybody’s singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
(Then I swear we can make this last)
Now everybody’s singing.

La, la la la, la la la,
(If you can wait till I get home)
Now everybody’s singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
(Then I swear we can make this last)
Now everybody’s singing.
La

Now some of you may be wondering why I started off with such a sad song instead of a more empowering or forget you song. Well I believe that you need to allow yourself to grieve the end and that listening to something sad helps make things get better.

So even though this song (and Hey There Delilah) still make me sad as the feels are just so much, it was still hepful listening to this over and over to help voice my feelings about the breakup.

 So that’s the first of many songs, and they do get empowering, you just have to wait for it.

For the next song in the Heartbreak series, go to The End by Silverstein

Here are some other posts you might interested in:

For more of my favorite songs, go to Once Upon a Time

For more on breakups, go to Unbound (The Wild Ride)

For more on ex-boyfriends, go to Push All the Buttons!

For more on Sarah Dessen, go to Happy B-Day

For a song that describes life, go to Nothing But a Good Time

A Letter of Love: Persuasion (2007)

Romantic Moment #14

Persuasion (2007)

So first of all:

So last year I ended the Romance is in the Air posts with Northanger Abbey. I thought this could become a tradition, always ending on a Jane Austen film. Hmmm…I wonder what next year will bring? Who knows?

Anyways, so two of my favorite Jane Austen books/films are Northanger Abbey and Persuasion. I mean I love the others, but I feel like these two are really forgotten by the fans and never gets any love.  Which is just not fair because they are fantastic books and movies. They deserve fans!!! Love them!

Okay, let’s step back from the crazy. Sorry.

So Persuasion is a wish fullfillment piece by Jane Austen. Jane fell in love with a rich man from a good family, very Pride & Prejudice, but his family strongly disapproved and took him away from her in order to make sure their attraction didn’t turn into something scandalous like marriage. While Jane had offers from other men, she never stopped loving him and waited for him to come back into her life. (So now that you know this you will understand this movie/book even better.) Another fun,  fun is not the right word let’s go with interesting  an interesting fact, Jane died before this and Northanger Abbey were published so she didn’t name them. Her brother, who had them published, decided what they should be called based on what he thought would be interesting.

So, anyways, the film begins with nineteen-year old Anne Elliot getting engaged (secretly) to young naval officer Frederick Wentworth. However, her mother figure (as her mom is dead) and family friend, Lady Russell, convinces her to end the engagement. She tells her she is too young, that it is risky marrying an officer going off to war, he could die, she could end up a widow, she could be penniless, etc. (Lady Russell brings up some good points, but she also wanted to end the marriage as Anne was a higher station and had more money. She thought Fredrick Wentworth wasn’t good enough for her Anne.) Anne really values Lady Russell’s opinion and breaks off the engagement, even though it breaks her heart and she regrets it everyday.

Fast forward eight years and things have drastically changed. Anne’s father, Sir Walter, and older sister, Elizabeth, have squandered A LOT of the family fortune on their vanity. Anne tried to reign in the spending, but no one would listen as her sister has the position of running the home (that is until she is married). They now have to lease out their home and reside somewhere else. And just who should be living in their home, Admiral Croft and Mrs. Croft. Mrs. Croft just happens to be Frederick Wentworth’s sister. And to even add to it, her brother has had an increase in his fortunes. He made so much money in maritime victories during the Napoleonic wars. (He had no one to live for so he took A LOT of risks and they paid, boy did they pay.) He also was promoted to Captain.

Her father and sister leave for Bath, where they will be spending the season. Anne goes to see her bratty, hypochondriac, annoying, selfish, younger, sister, Mary. (As you can tell I don’t like her.) Mary is married to Charles Musgrove, a guy who wanted to marry Anne but she turned down as she still loved Frederick. He then married his sister to spite her, and spent the rest of his life (and family’s life) regretting that choice. Mary lives nearby the old Elliot homestead, so wouldn’t you know it, she runs into Frederick several times.

To make matters worse, Frederick is so hurt and still heartbroken that he just ignores her and won’t say anything. This pains Anne as she still loves him and is just bursting to tell him how she feels but scared. And then to further rub salt in the wound, Charles’ younger, pretty, single, sisters are both making a play for him.

And not only does he like it (of course, duh); but he totally plays it up in front of her. Just like a guy.

Although I totally get what he’s doing. I mean she turned him down and didn’t do it in the best way. He started thinking she was only interested in the fact that he had no money, otherwise a “Good Charlotte Witch“.

Anyways, so the rest of the family has no clue what happened between Anne and Capt. Wentworth. So they purposely keep trying to bring Wentworth over. The one sister, Henrietta, stops her flirtations with Wentworth as her cousin is deeply into her. Everyone believes that Wentworth will ask for Louisa’s hand, but he still hasn’t gotten over Anne, but is just trying to get at her.

The whole family decides to travel down to Lyme Regis, with Wentworth to visit his friend,  Captain Harville and Captain James Benwick. Benwick recently lost his fiancé, the sister of Harville, and is stilll grieving her. He loves poetry and he and Anne become close. People start speculating about more happening between them, which does not make Wentworth happy.  Anne also attracts the attention of the Elliots’ long-estranged cousin, and her father’s heir, William Elliot. Also disturbing Wentworth.

Things change when Louisa suffers from a fall and gets a serious concussion, because of her stubborn behavior (she’s the girl that does whatever she wants). Anne is the only able to keep her head and assist her. The Musgroves care for her and Anne goes to Bath. Captain Wentworth faces the fact that when Louisa recovers he may be tied to her forever, which is something he is not so sure he wants to do.

In Bath, Anne finds out that her father and Mr. Elliot, her cousin, have fixed their relationship. Elizabeth assumes that he wishes to court her while Lady Russell more correctly suspects that he admires Anne.  Anne doesn’t really like Mr. Elliot, she feels like something is not right about him and tries to avoid him as much as possible.

Admiral Croft, having heard a rumour of Mr. Elliot’s proposal to Anne, sends Wentworth to ask Anne if she and her new husband require them to quit Kellynch Hall. Anne informs Wentworth that Admiral Croft has been  misinformed.

There’s hope!

Soon the Crofts, Musgroves, Benwick, Harville, Wentworth, etc; the whole crew comes to Bath. Louisa is engaged, but not to Wentworth, but Benwick. Wentworth is not happy about Mr. Elliot’s attentions to Anne, not at all. Anne also goes to visit her friend, Mrs. Smith, who is a struggling widow. She tells Anne that Mr. Elliot is not a nice guy at all. He has been so determined to inherit everything that he has been going after Sir Walter’s love interest in order to ensure he doesn’t remarry and have a son. Anne is shocked, but it reaffrims her feelings of mistrust toward him.

Wentworth is moved by what he overhears Anne says about women never giving up their feelings of love even when all hope is lost. This makes him brave enough to share his feelings and he writes her a letter telling her how he feels.  Anne recieves the letter and runs after Wentworth, there he proposes and she accepts. We fast forward, and Wentworth is surprising Anne with a gift. It’s her old house!

Most Romantic Moment: 

He writes one of the most beautiful letters ever! Now the thing I really love about Persuasion is you can just feel for the characters, everyone has experienced rejection and heartbreak; and the hardest thing can be trying to put yourself out there. So we have Wentworth who loved Anne, had his heart thrown through a shedder. He realizes that he loves Anne, but should he say something? Does she still love him? Is she angry over the way he treated her? Has she moved on? Will she reject him again? This has to be one of the bravest and romantic things ever.

I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in

F. W.

I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look, will be enough to decide whether I enter your father’s house this evening or never. 

So romantic!

That is so romantic, just laying everything out like that. He totally threw caution aside and just told her everything.

So romatic! And that is just one of the best ways to try and win a girl back. Conclusion:

So now because it is my blog, and I want to, I am going to review my favorite parts of the letter.

So that ends this Valentine countdown. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday whether you are single or in a relationship. Eat lots of candy, wear red, watch sappy movies; that’s what I’ll be doing. 😀

For more Persuasion go to A Frederick Wentworth Sighting, Let’s Hear it for the Boys, and On the 10th Day ‘Til Christmas

In other news:

 

For the 100th post, go to Wanna Grow Old With You: The Wedding Singer (1998)

For the 300th post, go to That’s What You Get