Every Three Thousand Years, the Stars Align. Unleashing an Army of Monsters: TMNT (2007)

TMNT

Every three thousand years, the stars align. Unleashing an army of monsters.

If you’ve been following me you’ve read this already, but for the new readers I’m giving a little background as to why I choose a TMNT film. If you have seen it already, feel free to skip ahead

So this is our second installment of four reviews of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ films.

So I know those of you who haven’t been following me, and have stumbled upon this post are probably really confused. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? As a horror film? NO WAY.

crazy

I know you are all saying to yourselves, hey this is a superhero movie, not a horror film. Au contraire, you see the turtles are radioactively enhanced to be larger; agile, smarter, etc. In fact the only thing that separates them from other radioactively changed creatures: such as the ants in Them, the giant spider in the Tarantula, or even Godzilla. They choosing to use their abilities for good and be superheroes doesn’t change the fact of how they were made.

So there! tongue sticking out pug

So last week I started with the 2014 film as it contained a lot of horror film components, as these turtles are engineered in a lab instead of accidentally created, just like Frankenstein.

Clive, Colin (Frankenstein)_02

Today we are doing the 2007 version/remake. In this one we have a lot of horror film components, I mean we have giant stones turning into monsters and trying to destroy New York City. So no use waiting around:

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

The Review

So as you know I hate remakes and sequels.

Bad Sequels psycho-1960-alfred-hitchcock-janet-leigh-pic-21

I was not excited about this film coming out at all. It’s going to suck. I just knew I would hate it.

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But my nephew loved the film and wanted me to watch it with him when it came out. What are you gonna do? It’s family!

dean whinchester shrug smile oh well

But I was right. It was horrible.

Ew Yuck Gross

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TMNT

So the film starts off with long narration about an Aztec warrior finding a portal to another dimension granting him immortality but his generals were turned to stone. It also released 13 monsters, everything from Bigfoot to the Jersey Devil.

Flashforward to present times, after the defeat of the Shredder, the turtles have broken up.

Whattheheck

Yes…I’ll get to that later. So Leonardo was sent to central America to train to be a leader and hasn’t returned. Since then, the remaining turtles have been working

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayernosense

Yes…I know. More later. With Raphael doing vigilante things at night.

April is working as a relic acquirer

IndianaJonesHmmMaybe

And not a reporter

crazy

Yes…I know. More later. She runs into Leonardo and convinces him to come back. He does and him and Raphael fight all the time.

OVERDONE

OVERDONE

April delivers the statue she find to the uber rich Max Winters, makes me think of Shreck from Batman Returns, and he hires the Foot clan to hunt down the 13 monsters.

The Generals awaken and help hunt down the monsters, but when they discover they won’t be immortal with all 13, they want to betray Winters.

Thanks to Casey, they’ve discovered the Aztec warrior is Winters and try to help him. Meanwhile Leonardo hates the vigilante Raphael is secretly, and tries to stop him. When he finds out it is Raphael, the two fight and Leonardo ends up getting captured by the generals as the 13 monster.

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And in the end they save the day, destroy the monsters, and reunite.

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So why did I hate it? Let’s count down!

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1) CGI

TMNT

The CGI was horrible. They looked awful and boxy and just bad. I would have preferred 2D. I mean look at Casey, his whole face and body, just no.

Not the right one.

Not the right one.

And it’s not like CGI was still working out the kinks. I mean you had some good stuff like RatatouilleMeet the Robinsons, I mean even the dumb movies like The Bee Movie and Alvin and the Chipmunks had good CGI. This was just bad.

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2) Instead of the Turtle Background We are Focusing on Aztec Warrior Meets Monsters Meets Multiple Dimensions

WOW

WOW

I know this is so strange. They give the turtle background as to who they are, how they were created, and such like three lines! Three LINES!

Four turtles. Four brothers. Genetically reborn in the sewers of New York. Named after the Renaissance masters and trained as ninjas.

And then we are supposed to give our attention to this Yactl or whatever, his generals turning into stone, immortality gift, blah blah…

Blah, blah

Blah, blah

Our full attention?

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

I PAID TO SEE A TURTLE FILM!!! I WANT THE TURTLES!!!

It is so stupid! It makes no sense!!!!

It is so stupid! It makes no sense!!!!

I mean really, out of all the comic written, this is the back story you want to give us???!!! OUT OF EVERYTHING??? Who was paid to write that? If it had been up to me, as soon as I read that, they would have been FIRED!!!

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3) Why Was the Main Warrior Not Turned to Stone?

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So how come Yactl was not turned to stone but all the generals were? They never really seem to explain why he was the only one given the immortality. Then again maybe they did, but my mind glazed over when I had to pay attention to the most non-turtle Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle film.

Yes film you are so bad you are forcing me to reference not just the Master of Disguise, but its stupidest scene to talk about how I feel.

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4) The Turtles are Split Up

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Hey guys let me point you to the title of the comics and the films: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Yes did you get that? TurtleS!!!!!!! TurtlesSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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YOU CAN’T EVEN GET THAT RIGHT!!!!!! THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MORE THAN ONE TURTLE FIGHTING!!!

It is so stupid! It makes no sense!!!!

It is so stupid! It makes no sense!!!!

Yes, they split the turtles up and send Leonardo to South America, why I don’t know. It’s dumb, it makes no sense, just argh!. They are supposed to be a team! When I paid for my ticket I paid to see four turtles not one on his own. And it makes no sense why they would split them up? Like seriously, who wanted that. Did any of these people read the comics or watch the TV show/films. I mean seriously!!!

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Let’s move on…

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5) April is Not a Reporter but Tomb Raider

Raiders of the Lost Ark Satipo

April is not a reporter…

Whattheheck

Yes April is not a reporter…

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayernosense

April is not a reporter but a tomb raider…

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Yes no matter how many times I say it, it still sounds dumb. Why isn’t she a reporter? I mean how could she even go from reporter to tomb raider. It’s not like she’s an archeologist or anthropologist, or knows any of that stuff at all. And I SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE A REPORTER!!!!!

And to ease the suckage of this film

And to ease the suckage of this film

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6) The Turtles Have Jobs

WHAT!

WHAT!

The TURTLES have JOBS?!!!!!!

Stop stop it now!

Just end the film here because that is literally the stupidest thing I have ever heard.

So you are telling me GIANT, MUTANT, GREEN, TURTLES with no social security numbers, good contact info, experience, etc are able to have jobs?

stupidestThingeverheard

And let’s just forget about the social security number, experience, education; you know all those things you need to work and focus on this tiny little issue: GIANT, MUTANT, GREEN, TURTLES!!!!!!!!!

I don't think so

How do GIANT, MUTANT, GREEN, TURTLES get jobs? Huh HOW?!!!!!!!!!! This is just so stupid that if I think about it any longer my IQ will drop.

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7) Why is Raphael the Nightwatcher?

Batman-Begins

So Raphael is the only one continuing to fight crime and be a ninja superhero. But instead of continuing as himself, he has faux batman gear and even takes on a faux Batman name with Nightwatcher (similar to Nightwing). I mean why does he even have to dress up? He is a giant turtle!!! And why hide it? Just because Leonardo is gone they can’t be vigilantes anymore? That makes NO SENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are driving me insane!!!!

You are driving me insane!!!!

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8) No Shredder

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While its true you don’t have to have a Shredder to make a TMNT film, you notice how much they suck when they don’t have one. Like this movie, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III. I mean Shredder and Turtles just go together, it’d be like making macaroni and cheese with no macaroni.

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9) The Convoluted Plot

Nope, not him.

It feels like they spend hours talking about Yactl, the monsters, dimensions, blah blah blah.

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I totally checked out from this film. I mean I came to see TMNT, not all this useless drivel they keep trying to push. Just dumb, dumb, dumb.

big mistake

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10) Raphael and Leonardo Fight Over Who is the Leader

Stop stop it now!

Ugh I hate this plot thread. It is too:

OVERDONE

OVERDONE

I mean it worked in the first film, but because of that it doesn’t mean you have to do it non-stop!! Just do something else. I swear that if I see this repeated one more time in a TMNT film(not counting the 2014 one) I will be held responsible for me actions.

ARRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!

ARRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!

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11) The End

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It was horrible, dumb, and I didn’t like it. The only thing that was good was that it was over!

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Good-bye forever!

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Yes this film was horrible, just horrible. I mean it was so bad, it made the 2014 film look good. For all their faults, at least they tried to make a TMNT film that actually centered on the TMNT.

Well that’s it for this post. Next week I’ll be reviewing the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle film. How does it compare? How does it hold up? Well, all those questions will be answered in seven days.

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To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to The Butcher of Burtonsville High: The Death of the Queen Bee, Bones (2010)

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For more Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, go to Heroes are Not Born, They’re Created: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

For more sucky remakes, go to Don’t F*** With the Original: Scre4m (2011)

For more alternate dimensions, go to There’s Nothing Out There. Nothing in the Mist: The Mist (2007)

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In other news today is our 800th post

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For the 700th post, go to Fan-do or Fan-don’t. There is No Fan-try

For the 600th post, go to There Are Thirteen Chairs at the Table…And That’s Unlucky: Mystery of the 13th Guest (1943)

To Kill a Fangirl

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How do you kill a fangirl? Well there are quite a few ways: Let’s see…1) Kill off their favorite characters/have them leave the series

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

2) Have the wrong people end up together.

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3) Stop writing/take show off the air, especially if it ends without a finale

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4)When the character changes, does things they never would do

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5) When they start repeating the same things over and over

RIP Randy! Love you forever!!!!!!!

6) Season Finale/Last book that just ends, without tying everything up

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I could go on, but that’s not what this post is really about. Instead it is one of my fandom posts, about the fandoms I am in.

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So here we go!

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Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers

POWER RANGERS!!!! HECK YEAH!

I love it

Growing up the Power Rangers were awesome! Regular kids chosen to fight aliens and protect the earth, transforming into the Power Rangers and riding in robots called Zords.

My friends and I used to act out the adventures in the TV show, along with creating our own. My favorite was Kimberly, the pink ranger.

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And I loved Tommy the Green Ranger/Gold Ranger. He first starts off as bad, recruited to destroy the Rangers, but then redeems himself. He ends up losing his powers, and the Green Ranger is gone, coming back as the extremely awesome Gold Ranger. Not only was Tommy the best fighter, with the coolest weapons (eventually becoming the leader) but he was also super hot. I had such a crush on him.

swoon dreamy

They made a movie, The Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers: The Movie, were they had to fight a creature so terrible, Ivan Ooze, he takes down Zordon. I just loved that movie so much as a kid. I used to watch it over and over again.

watch movie over and over

I had the whole film memorized and we used to act it out all the time. In fact I remember getting in trouble once with a parent for dismantling the brooms so that one of us could have the noise sticks that Dulcea uses.

I watched Power Rangers up until Power Rangers: Mystic Force. When Kimberly and Jason left and they brought in Cat, it went down hill for me. The other seasons were alright, but the only one that was any good being Dino Thunder because they brought Tommy back.

I heard they are doing a movie reuniting most of the original cast and I hope they do!

pretty please beg

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The Partridge Family

So if you just read these fandom posts, you probably think I am some immortal being a teen in the ’70s as well as the ’90s; from all these ’70s shows I used to watch. Nope, I’m not a time traveler or vampire, I loved TV LAND, yep I used to watch it back when they showed old TV shows.

This show stared Shirley Jones as Shirley Partridge, widowed mother of five. When her kids want to try a record deal, she goes along and before you know it, they are a hit. They get a manager, a bus, and go touring all over the country.

This show also starred David Cassidy, Jones’ stepson, as the eldest child and heartthrob.

hot pretty sexy

I used to watch it every day and knew all the songs by The Partridge Family by heart. In fact this show had such a huge impact on me, that when I saw David Cassidy was going to be in a new musical series, Ruby & The RockitsIt was horrible writing, but I suffered through for my childhood nostalgia.

NostalgiaforWorldNeverKnown

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 The Rocky Series

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Aw Rocky. How I love you, and all your films. Well, except Creed as I have yet to see it. I started watching these films one 4th of July weekend when AMC had a marathon. I watched one, then another and another and another.

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And I loved them. Sylvester Stallone did a great job with this series.

Rocky (1976)

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So let my start by wishing this film a very happy anniversary as it will be turning 40 on November 21st.

So the film Rocky was Slyvester Stallone’s first film. He was struggling as an actor, homeless, only having $106, and had even sold his dog. When the company was interested he wouldn’t give the script up until they agreed to have him as the star. They declined, but when they couldn’t get the script, they finally agreed.

It was shot in 28 days and had an extremely little budget. Stars had to share rooms, they filmed the street scenes guerilla style and with no permits or extras. Most of the wardrobe was furnished by the actors, and ones purchased were wrong. The lack of money for extras, caused them to rewrite some scenes and make due.

But not only was it nominated for Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actor, Best Screenplay, Best Sound, & Best Original Song; and won Best Picture, Best Director, & Best Film Editing: but it was the highest grossing film of the year. Not bad Stallone, not bad.

So Rocky is the story of Robert “Rocky” Balboa, a man who dreams of becoming a boxer star, going the distance, but has yet to get his chance. He works as an enforcer for a loan shark, but is too nice a guy to actually “enforce”. Everything changes when boxing star Apollo Creed decides that he wants to box an ordinary joe, giving a nobody the chance to be a somebody, and choosing Rocky. While Rocky works out for the chance of a lifetime, he dates his best friend’s sister, Adrian, becoming one of the sweetest couples in film history.

This story is not only amazing uplifting, as everyone can connect to a man trying to achieve his dreams, it has some truly poetic and realistic scenes. Besides the ice-skating with Adrian, and running up the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum (so great it gets parodied again and again), but the fact that Stallone choose to have Rocky loose the fight; showing his achievements in trying to be the true victory is truly poignant and fantastic.

This also had the incredible song, Gonna Fly Now written by Bill Conti as it’s theme. How can you not be inspired when listening to that?

Rocky II

After the first film, Apollo is angry at the way that Rocky held his own against him in the match. Apollo demands a rematch, as he wants to peove that he is the true champ, Rocky just a fluke. Meanwhile, since the fight Rocky has been boosted in popularity. He doesn’t want to fight Apollo again, but due to his goading and Rocky’s lack of money, he agrees. Can he truly go the distance? Can he be a contender?

Rocky III

This is the first of the film series to have a Survivor song in it, this one of course having the amazing Eye of the Tiger.

So it has been three years since Rocky II. Since then Rocky has had successful fights and an increase in wealth for him and his family. As they are unveiling a statue of him, he gets called out by Clubber Lang, played by Mr. T. When Rocky questions Mickey, he discovers that Clubber Lang’s accusations were correct. His fights were handpicked to protect him. Rocky doesn’t want to fight Lang, but when he pushes Mickey and causes him to have a heart attack, dying, Rocky knows he has no other chance then to avenge Mickey’s death. He asks Apollo Creed to train him, and the two team up to get that “eye of the tiger” back.

Rocky IV

Ivan Drago (Dolph Lungren) is a 6’5 Russian Boxer brought to America to promote the U.S.S.R.’s superiority. They throw out a challenge that he can beat anyone, and Apollo agrees to an exhibition match. Apollo arrives with a huge show stopping number done by James Brown. Drago doesn’t take this match as “just an exhibition” and kills Creed. With his best friend dead, Rocky decides he must avenge his death, traveling to Russia to fight Drago there.

Rocky V

After the fight with Drago, Rocky decides to retire from boxing. He had some permanent damage from the fight, and to add to the bad news he lost all his money due to a bad accountant. Rocky turns to training boxers, taking in a young guy off the street, Tommy Gunn. He helps him, and as Gunn starts moving up the ranks he catches the eye of another manager and leaves Rocky behind. Rocky is upset at the betryal, but Adraian tells him that Gunn is not worth it, as he doesn’t have any real heart. Gunn decides the only way to prove his true mettle is to take down Rocky. He tries to get him to fight, but Rocky won’t. When Gunn takes a sock at Paulie, Rocky changes his mind and starts training to cut him down.

Rocky Balboa (Rocky VI)

The sixth film takes place 20 years after the fifth film. One of the reasons Stallone decided to make this film, was that many people were dissatisfied with the ending of Rocky V, as it didn’t have a true wrap up to the series. In this Rocky is a widower, with an Italian resturant. He is in deep grief over the death of Adrian and has a struggling relationship with his son who wishes to be not known as Rocky’s son or have any connection to boxing. He reunites with grown up “Little Marie” from Rocky (1976).  Meanwhile ESPN has done a Deadliest Warrior type show in which they analyze boxers from past, running the stats, victories, and teaming them up with present boxers. When Rocky wins against Mason “The Line” Dixon, Dixon gets enraged and Rocky decides to take up boxing again. This prompts the fight of fights as the two head off.

A lot of people didn’t like this film, but I thought it was a cute shout out to the fans. I loved the way they decided to conclude it. If Rocky had lost the fight, it would have been horrible as no one wants to see an older man get beat up. And if Rocky had won, it would have been unbelievable. Having a tie was not only a call back to the first film’s idea that victory was in trying to achieve your dreams, but also a way to appease all.

As I wrote before I have yet to watch Creed, but I will hit on that when I watch it.

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Scooby-Doo

I LOVED SCOOBY-DOO

I love it

I used to watch Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?13 Ghosts of Scooby-DooA Pup Named Scooby-DooThe New Scooby-Doo Movies (in which Scooby-Doo meets the Harlarm Globetrotters, Cher, Sonny Bono, Batman, Robin, Josie & the Pussycats, etc.), The New Scooby-Doo, What’s New Scooby-Doo.

My favorite of course was Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?. I used to watch the show all the time and had four birthday parties be Scooby-Doo themed. I had a huge collection of Scooby-Doo toys, from my own mystery machine and multiple Scooby-Doos; to a clock, clothes, books, and almost anything else you can think of.

fangirl casual fan diehard fan consume me love it

I also was a fan of the Scooby-Doo films. I loved Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School, Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf, Scooby-Doo Meets the Boo Brothers, Scooby-Doo! in Arabian Nights, Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island, Scooby-Doo and the Alien Invaders, Scooby-Doo and the Cyber Chase, etc.

I saw the two Scooby-Doo theatrical films and thought they were okay. The first had an alright storyline, but I didn’t like the thought of “real monsters” and felt they didn’t capture the heart of the show. Besides Freddie Prinze Jr. as Fred Jones and Sarah Michelle Geller as Daphne, I was sorely disappointed.

Something is not right!

So let’s talk about the characters:

Fred Jones

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Fred Jones was the leader of the teen group. He was always eager to get involved in a mystery and was a keen observer. His take charge attitude always made him be the one to figure out a plan to catch the cause of the crime, although Scooby or Shaggy’s antics would usually mess them up. He was the “straight man of the group” the one who complimented the crazy antics of Scooby and Shaggy, along with being the rock of the group.

Daphne Blake

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Daphne Blake is often thought of as the beautiful socialite who was only interested in looks and getting kidnapped. That is not true! While Daphne tends to be the one that got captured, if anyone gets kidnapped, it didn’t happen in every episode. She was also ntelligent, proving her worth in solving the crimes, alongside Fred and Velma.

*Fun Fact*-The Mystery Machine was actually Daphne’s 16th Birthday present. Why Fred is the one driving, I don’t know.

Velma Dinkley

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Velma is the brain of the group, being the researcher and the one to find the final clue that ties everything together. Unlike Daphne, she is a more comedic character; having puns and great sarcastic wit. She also was always losing her glasses, struggling to see; they usually found by whatever creature they are hunting or her searching for them causing that creature to trip over her.

Norville “Shaggy” Rogers

Scooby-Doo

Now contrary to popular belief, Shaggy is not a drug addict. The creators of the show were trying to hit every group when they made the show; Fred the jock, Daphne the princess, Velma the brain, etc. As Shaggy can’t be the criminal, because they are solving crimes, they wanted him to be the type of new culture coming out that “surfer-“hey man”-hippieish-type-dude”. Shaggy is a sweet guy that is interested in food and music. He is a scaredy-cat, never wanting to get involved with monsters or criminals, but always there in the final stretch. He and Scooby played the comedic roles, always accidentally getting involved with something, accidentally bringing new evidence to light, or accidentally catching the criminals.

Scooby-Doo

scooby-Doo

Scooby-Doo was adopted by Shaggy and is “his” dog, but in reality Scooby doesn’t even consider himself a dog as he is so advanced. Scooby can talk, think, and loves to eat. He often steals somebody’s meal, typically Shaggy. Scooby is a total coward, but in the end will come through for his friends, as long as he is given a Scooby snack. He assists Shaggy with the comedy, helping them accidentally foil any plans made by the criminals. He and Shaggy are the only characters to appear in every TV show & film.

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For more on Scooby-Doo, go to A Monster Race: Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf (1988)

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For the previous post, go to Portrait of a Fangirl

And Stay tuned for part 19

 

 

 

 

 

It’s Fantastico!

Realfriendsfan

Or a true reader! Yep, here we go! Another post full of my fandoms and all for your enjoyment.

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The Cat Who Series

TheCatWhoSeries

The Cat Who…Series is one of my favorite book series. It all started in sixth grade when I was looking in the library and trying to figure out what books to get. I was roaming the stacks when my friend Paul pointed out The Cat Who…Series. He knew I liked cats and mysteries and told me he thought I would enjoy this series. I agreed to think about it, as at first his description sounded kind of weird.

A year later I was at a different school and hadn’t really thought of Paul or the books, until I spotted them at the library. I decided to check them out and read The Cat Who Saw Red, which is actually the fourth book in the series. All it took was that one, and I was hooked. Lillian Jackson Braun is one amazing writer.

I'mReadingGetLostDonnieDarko

So we have Jim “Qwill” Qwilleran, an amazing reporter who had become an alcoholic and lost it all.
In the first book The Cat Who Read Backwards, he has overcome this addiction and trying to get back into work. He gets a job on The Daily Fluxion doing the last thing he’d expect, covering the art beat. You see The Daily Fluxion‘s art critic has caused a lot of problems, so by adding an art feature writer, they hope to remedy feelings. Qwill actually ends up renting an apartment from the art critic and befriending his highly intelligent cat, Kao K’o Kung or Koko. In which he discovers:

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When his landlord is murdered, Qwill finds himself investigating as to who killed him. And getting some unlikely help from Koko. Koko does some catly things that point out important clues, which makes Qwill wonder is Koko solving crime? Or just being a cat?

Holiday in Handcuffs thinking hmm not sure

The Cat Who Ate Danish Modern, propels Qwill into the interior design world in which he not only finds himself writing about it, but investigating the death of a designer. He also gets a friend for Koko, Freya also known as Yum Yum. In The Cat Who Turned On and Off, Qwill moves to Junktown to write about “junkers” or antiques; along with investigating the death of a dealer. Nobody knows why, but after this book Braun decided to stop writing for 18 years. She came back in 1986 with The Cat Who Saw Red. In this Qwill is a food critic and investigating the disappearance of an old friend. With her next book, The Cat Who Played Brahms, we see the series take a complete turn. In this Qwill is invited up north to visit Mooseville by an old family friend, and ends up investigating two murders. He also recieves a huge inheritance that includes billions and most of the town, but only can be there if he maintains that residence for five years. He decides to live there and the rest of the series covers the colorful characters of small town Moose County, along with Qwill solving many more murders.

Now for me, the series ends at The Cat Who Talked Turkey. There are three books that follow that: The Cat Who Went Bananas, The Cat Who Dropped a Bombshell, and The Cat Who Had 60 Whiskers; but they are not written as well as the others and left with a lot of loose ends.

In fact I loved this series so much I shared it with my family. My mother and I loved the characters and the food described in them that we created another blog, The Cat Who Wrote A Blog, that recreates the food from each book. Check out my sister blog on all the great recipes and try them for yourself.

For more on The Cat Who…Series, go to Heaven on Earth

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Death on Demand Series

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I was first introduced into this series when I was in a thrift store and looking through the books. I spotted one called Deadly Valentine. I started looking at the back and the inside to see what it was about and how it read when I noticed the author’s name on the front page.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

I thought no way, it has to be a carbon copy. But it wasn’t!!! It was an actual autograph by the author!

Finally something GOOD!

For 50¢. Heck ya! So I bought it and read it immediately.

IBS

It’s been a life-long affliction

Annie Darling is from Texas, but moved to New York to become an actress. When that didn’t work out as well as she hoped, she moved to Broward’s Rock, an island off South Carolina; where her uncle has a store that sells mysteries, Death on Demand. Her uncle is murdered and Annie inherits everything. Soon her placid life gets a tumble when her ex-boyfriend, the rich and adorable Max Darling comes to town to be with her and she finds herself the number one suspect in the murder of author Elliot Morgan. The rest of the series has the adorable couple becoming a crime solving duo.

Death on Demand: Author Elliot Morgan is killed and the police’s number one suspect? Annie Laurence. With help from her boyfriend Max Darling, Annie solves Morgan’s murder along with what really happened to her uncle.

Design for Death: Annie is asked to stage a murder for the Historical Society of Chastain, South Carolina. It turns out that she doesn’t have to stage it after all, as someone has commited a real murder.

Something Wicked: Annie and Max are delighted to be in the town play of Arsenic and Old Lace. But when one of the cast is killed, and Max is declared the main suspect, the two forget the play and hatch a plot to catch a killer.

Honeymoon with Murder: Annie and Max have finally tied the knot! However, their happiness is short lived as a dead body is found and Annie’s best friend and coworker, Ingrid Jones, is not only the prime suspect, but missing!

A Little Class on Murder: Annie is asked to give a class on female mystery writers at Chastain Community College. While there she finds out that the college isn’t as pristine as she thought: as a school newspaper scandal, two violent deaths, a suicide, and many more secrets coming to light. Annie and Max are on the case again.

Deadly Valentine: My entry into Death on Demand. In this book it is Valentine’s Day and all should be well…except for a voluptuous, promiscuous, neighbor. As the Darlings attend the neighbor’s masquerade, a night that should end in love but ends in death. Annie and Max are set on finding the killer and proving Max’s mother, Laurel, innocent.

The Christie Caper: If you are an Agatha Christie fan you will LOVE this book. To celebrate Christie’s 100th birthday, Annie plans a week long celebration with treasure hunts, trivia, etc. But when Neil Bledsoe, most hated book critic, shows up; things go far from what Annie planned.

Southern Ghost: Annie and Max get involved in a missing person’s case and find much more then they expected. Could the Southern gentry Tarrant family be trying to cover up a forty-year old murder?

Mint Julep Murder: Annie and Max are attending the annual Dixie Book Festival. A publisher with a tell-all-book is murdered, leaving Annie and Max as the prime suspects!

Yankee Doodle Dead: It’s the Fourth of July, and instead of celebrating America’s birthday they find themselves investigating the death of Brigadier General Charlton “Bud” Hatch.

White Elephant Dead: The Women of Broward’s Rock are planning their annual White Elephant sale. To make this year truly the best, one of the members blackmails five prominent people of the town to donate extremely valuable items. When she turns up dead, the main suspect is Annie’s best friend and customer, Henny Brawley. Will Annie be able to prove her innocence?

Sugarplum Dead: When millionare Rita Dumaney Ladson gathers her family together to discuss her will, she shocks them all with her plans to lead everything to the new age Evermore Foundation. All her relatives are furious, but which one is angry enough to kill? Unfortunately for Annie, the prime suspect is her father. The may have had their issues in the past, but can those be put aside?

April Fool Dead: Annie is planning a wonderful signing party with author Emma Clyde, but someone is taking April Fool’s Day a little too far and playing some not so funny pranks. Soon after s teacher and student are murdered; with Annie being the main suspect.

Engaged to Die: Everything seems to be going well in Broward’s Rock. Annie and Max are still very happily married, Annie’s new assistant Chloe is in love, and wealthy widow Virginia Neville is about to get married again. This blissful still is broken as Virginia’s family is furious at her being “conned” by a charlatan; Chloe’s boyfriend turns out to be the same man engaged to Virginia, and the lothario is found murdered. All the evidence points to Chloe as the murderer, and pits the Darlings against each other with Max working for the police and Annie for Chloe.

Murder Walks the Plank: Annie is excited for her murder-mystery cruise that includes dressing up as your favorite sleuth and loads of mysterious fun! However, the fun is quickly tainted as real bodies begin piling up. It’s up to Annie, Max, Henny, Emma, and Laurel to once again save the day!

Death of the Party: In the vibe of 10 Little Indians, the Darlings find themselves hired to solve a cold case crime. A year ago, Britt Barlow’s brother-in-law, Jeremiah Addison, was in her opinion murdered. She invites all who were there at the time and the Darlings to figure out who the killer is. Soon the butler is missing, the only way off the island has disappeared, and the whole group is trapped with a killer.

Dead Days of Summer: Annie is worried sick. Her husband Max went to meet a client and has disappeared. Things start looking grim when they find his abandoned car…with the body of a women nearby and the murder weapon in the trunk. Thing look very bad for Max, but Annie is on the case and prepared to prove his innocence.

Death Walked In: Max receives a call from a woman telling him she’s hidden something valuable in the old antebellum house the Darlings are restoring. When Annie hears of it she rushes over to ask the woman more, only to discover her shot and dying. This propels the two in to a treasure hunt and quest for a murderer.

Dare to Die: Annie meets a girl named Iris Tilford and invites her to a party the Darlings are throwing.Unbeknownst to her, Iris is from Broward’s Rock and someone is not happy at her return.

Laughed ‘Til He Died: When a teacher of the youth recreation center is thought to be guilty of murder, the Darling set out to prove she didn’t do it.

Dead by Midnight: A suicide has everyone in Broward’s Rock sad, but for Annie Darling she thinks there is more to it…MURDER!

Death Comes Silently: It’s winter time, which means without tourists Annie has a lot more downtime. She starts working at the local charity shop. When Emma Clyde comes out with a new novel, Annie plans a signing party and has fellow volunteer Gretchen Burkholt fill in for her. Gretchen harasses Annie the whole time of the signing saying she has “important news”.  Annie finally goes to check on her and hear her news, when she finds her body.

Dead, White, and Blue: The Darlings are looking forward to a calmer Fourth of July, but no luck. This year the most hated woman, Shell Hurst, is found dead and the Darlings get on the case.

BookAddict

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8 Simple Rules

8SimpleRulesJohnRitterBuryBody

8 Simple Rules was based on a book in which a father detailed his rules for dating his teenage daughters.

The rules are:

  1. Use your hands on my daughter and you’ll lose them after.
  2. You make her cry, I make you cry.
  3. Safe sex is a myth. Anything you try will be hazardous to your health.
  4. Bring her home late, there’s no next date.
  5. If you pull into my driveway and honk, you better be dropping off a package because you’re sure not picking anything up (Alternative rule #5: Only delivery men honk. Dates ring the doorbell. Once.)
  6. No complaining while you’re waiting for her. If you’re bored, change my oil.
  7. If your pants hang off your hips, I’ll gladly secure them with my staple gun.
  8. Dates must be in crowded public places. You want romance? Read a book.

They then turned it into a hilarious TV show. Paul Hennessy (John Ritter) is a sports writer, protective father, and loving family man. His wife is Cate and she is a nurse. The two have three kids: Bridget the eldest is beautiful and only cares about fashion, looks, and boys; Kerry, suffers from insecurities about her looks and is the smart, studious one; and Rory is adorable and a sports nut. With each episode we balance comedy and drama as they deal with real life issues. During season 3, John Ritter went to the hospital as he was feeling sick, and ended up dying. It was extremely sad to lose him as an actor and person. To honor him they wrote his death in as the death of the father and had to bring in two actors who were still unable to fill his shoes. We then get David Spade as the mom’s child-in-man’s-body cousin, and James Garner as Cate’s father and a crotchety old man.

I love the whole series but I have to say one of my all-time favorite episodes were the ones with Jonathan Taylor Thomas, who I had a major crush on growing up. Loved him, and loved everything he’s in.

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The Highlander

theHighlander-75160can only  be one

So The Highlander is a TV show based off a film of the same name. Unlike the film, the show follows the immortal Duncan MacLeod, of the clan MacLeod, from the 16th century and living in the ’90s. Immortals are people who can not be killed in regular ways. No one knows why or how, but they just seem to be born, yet cannot have children. People discover they are immortal when they are involved in something that should kill them, but doesn’t. Immortals can only be killed by fellow immortals, and this done by cutting off the head. When one immortal kills the other, they obtain all their skills in something called “the Quickening”, which makes them even stronger. In the end, there can only be one.

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Now Duncan is unlike most immortals, as he doesn’t go around killing others for their powers but just tries to live a normal life. He is Scottish and orginally from the 16th century, but as he is immortal has moved around all over the globe, with each episode giving us a flashback. He also befriends Richie Ryan, a recently discovered immortal, and teaches him how to fight and protect his neck. The series is awesome, the characters great, and the theme song is done by Queen. How can this show not be a winner?

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The Hunger Games

Go here to see who you are

Go here to see who you are

So when this book series first came out, I wasn’t that into it. You see I’m on pre-release program from several publishers, which send me notices about books that are going to be released. I read the little summary and wasn’t that interested in the books as it sounded like something that had been done before.

All my friends were really into it though, but you all know that just because everyone else is into something, doesn’t mean I’ll jump on board. When the first movie came out I had four people offer to take me to see it, my friend Jodie (a hardcore fan that went opening night), Alan, Harry, and John. But still I said no and wouldn’t go.

No thank you

I didn’t watch the first one until my ex-boyfriend Michael and friend Elaine finally convinced me. I thought it was pretty good, but had yet to become a real fan. I went and saw Catching Fire which I loved because of Peeta, he’s my fav.

hunger games Peeta

This summer that all changed. You see I have a kindle and Amazon was doing a free trial of their Kindle Fire program, which sucks, but they had all three books that could be borrowed for free. I decided to read them and was HOOKED. I started reading one and couldn’t stop.

waitingforbookinseriesNosleepNeedanswers

It’s a good thing I had them all or else I would have gone crazy. That’s one of the nice things about going into a series after the hype. You don’t have wait forever for the printing of the pieces.

So Katniss?

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I thought she was pretty cool and tough. It would have been nice to see more character growth, but I understand how she tried her best to stay focused on helping her family and form as few detachments as possible. I loved how in books one and two we get a lot of background info as to how her life was like in District 12.

Peeta?

Peeta Hunger Games

I LOVE Peeta! I think he is the best guy ever!!!!

swoon dreamy

In book one we never really know whether Peeta is good or bad. We hear all these stories he shares and his feelings for Katniss, but as Katniss doesn’t really know him, so we don’t. The second book is the one in which we all fell in love with him. When I read that book I wanted Peeta to be real.

Peeta2

He is just so kind, caring, sweet, and utter perfection!!!! When Katniss saw how he would gladly die for her and really saw how much he cared, she fell in love with him. She might not have realized it immediately, but she did. The third book was so hard, as I missed the old Peeta. Watching the movie was utter heartbreak as well.

padme-youre-breaking-my-heart-gif-1

Now contrary to other fans, I actually really liked how she ended the series (which I won’t give away) and I think they should keep it exactly how it is.

So I loved the books and the movies, and you should definitely give them all a view.

For more on The Hunger Games, go to Peeta Please!

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Kinsey Millhone Mysteries

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This all started with a library book sale. You see a picked up an old Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine collection for super cheap. In each magazine they list out all kinds of great mystery books they recommend you read. I noticed a few titles like Grievous Sin (Peter Decker and Rina Lazarus) by Faye Kellerman, and J is for Judgement by Sue Grafton. The next time I went to a book sale, what did I happen to find there? Grievous Sin and J is for Judgement. I bought them and a bunch of others, and took them home happily.

bjksale

I read Grievous Sin but didn’t really enjoy it, mostly I think because it was book six in the series and I hadn’t read the first five. When I moved on to reading J is for Judgement, I decided I should start at the beginning, which I did, and was completely hooked!

anotherChapter

So Kinsey Millhone is a female private detective living in the ’80s, in Santa Theresa (Santa Barbara), CA. She used to be a cop, but found that her problems with authority made it not the best fit for her. She’s been married twice; first husband was a cop supposedly gone dirty; the second a musician that cheated on her and got into drugs. Her parents died when she was little, leaving her to be raised by her hard-nosed, tough, single, Aunt Gin. This lead her to live a life of quiet solitude (minus the exes) and to be just like Gin. She lives in a garage-turned apartment, her best friends being Henry Pitts, her landlord and nonagenarian; and Rosie, a brash, loud, bossy Hungarian restaurant owner.

It is a truly great series. Another interesting tidbit, Sue Grafton started writing these books in the ’80s, but of course times in books move slower than in our time (like Narnia) so the newer books are technically historical fiction. Anyways…

A is for Alibi: We are introduced to Kinsey Millhone and her life as a PI. In this book Nikki Fife has just been released after serving 8 years for murdering her husband. She hires Kinsey to find the real murderer, and Kinsey sets on the cold trail, finding it red hot.

B is for Burglar: In this Kinsey is hired to find Beverly Danziger’s sister Elaine Boldt, who has gone missing and is needed to sign some important documents. What Kinsey finds is a much darker reason she can’t be found.

C is for Corpse: In this Kinsey Millhone meets sweet, innocent, Bobby Callahan. At least that is how he is now. He was almost killed in a car accident and now has a clouded memory. Bobby hires her to find out who is blackmailing him and why. And she better find out before whoever tried to kill Bobby strikes again.

D is for Deadbeat: This one I didn’t enjoy as much, but it wasn’t horrible. A man hires Kinsey to track down a person and deliver a check to someone. Kinsey agrees for a fee, but quickly finds that check bouncing. She starts her search for the “deadbeat: only to find him in the morgue.

E is for Evidence: Kinsey is prepared to spend the holidays alone as usual, but this year sees a huge stray from that plan. Instead she gets a $5000 deposit in her bank account from unknown sources, an accusation of insurance fraud, bombs, and the return of an ex-husband.

F is for Fugitive: Seventeen years ago Jean Timberlake was found strangled on the beach. Everyone believed it was her boyfriend Bailey Fowler who did it. He was convicted and imprisoned, but ended up fleeing. Now he has been found and Fowler’s father wants Kinsey to prove his son’s innocence.

G is for Gumshoe: Kinsey finds herself on a hit list and in need of a bodyguard. Can any body sing “I Will Always Love You“?

H is for Homicide: When Kinsey’s good friend Parnell Perkins is killed, she starts to investigate one of his marked files on a Bibianna Diaz, and finds herself deep undercover in an insurance fraud ring.

I is for Innocent: When millionaire Isabelle was murdered, everyone assumed her soon to be ex-husband David Barney killed her. Unfortunately for them, he was acquitted. Now Isabelle’s first husband, Kenneth Voight, is suing Barney in a civil suit to take away his millions. When Kinsey’s PI friend and mentor is killed, Kinsey finds herself in the middle of a very sticky case.

J is for Judgement: The book that started it all, but ironically one of my least favorite books in the series. In this William Jaffe, presumed dead, may have been spotted alive and well in Mexico. The insurance company that just paid his widow wants their $500,000 in insurance benefits back and hire Kinsey to find Jaffe.

K is for Killer: Janice Kepler is a grieving mother who wants answers as to why her daughter Lorna was murdered. She hires Kinsey who investigates the life of Lorna, who finds there was much more than meets the eye to this beauty queen.

L is for Lawlessness: This is my least favorite of the series. In this book Kinsey is asked to find proof of a friend’s grandfather’s service in the military. What she finds are complications that send her all the way to Kentucky.

M is for Malice: The head of the Malek family and Malek construction passes away, and his will leaves a surprise. The brother that all thought was cut out of the will, actually wasn’t, and Kinsey is out to find him. She hears horror stories of the awful person he was, but when she meets him finds a completely changed one. She brings him home for a reunion…and unfortunately his death. Now she is set on avenging him by finding his killer.

N is for Noose: Tom Newquist was a great cop, but an older out of shape one. So it wasn’t that big of a surprise when he had a heart attack. The only one who doesn’t believe it is his widow, Selma, who hires Kinsey to discover who murdered him. What Kinsey finds is much more than she could ever have imagined.

O is for Outlaw: Kinsey gets a call about a person having bought a salvaged box from a storage center, that had her name on it. He sells it to her, and Kinsey finds much more than she dreamed about her Aunt Gin and more on her first husband. When her first husband is killed she starts investigating, and learning more than she could have dreamed.

P is for Peril: Dr. Dowan Purcell has disappered and no one knows where he is. His ex-wife Fiona believes him to be alive and hires Kinsey to find him. His current wife, Crystal, thinks he is dead. Kinsey starts searching and finds a much bigger case along the way.

Q is for Quarry: This book is a little different as it is based on a real case. In the 1970s there was a Jane Doe found, and Grafton was giving the ability to look at the police files. Her story is loosely based on the event, and of course with the murder solved in the book. The police have yet to solve that actual case, and for ever book purchased, a percentage is given to the fund that is still trying to reunite the body with her family. In this book, Kinsey teams up with retired police Chief Con Dolan; and Sheriff Stacey Oliphant. Their search into the cold case leads them on a long and winding trail as they try to figure out identity and motive.

R is for Ricochet: In this Kinsey Millhone is hired to babysit Reba Lafferty. Reba was a rich girl, apple of her father’s eye, who has just been released from prison for embezzlement, having taken the rap for her boyfriend/boss. Kinsey thinks it will be easy, but she is quickly proved wrong as Reba has much more in mind then “girl time.”

S is for Silence: This book is the beginning of a shift for Grafton. In this novel, Kinsey is hired to find the mother of friend. Problem? The mother, Violet, disappered thirty-five years ago. In between the accounts of Kinsey’s investigations, Grafton includes chapters from the past in the point of view of other characters. It is amazingly done and extremely well written.

T is for Trespass: This is one of the creepest books I have ever read. In this Kinsey hires a caretaker for a neighbor, Gus, who has suffered from a bad fall. She thinks that is all there is to it…except the woman she hired is a sociopath. Using a stolen identity, “Solana Rojas”, starts abusing Gus and taking everything of worth. This book switches from Kinsey’s point of view to Solana; telling the story in a new and frightening way.

U is for Undertow: This book takes this movement into switching point of views to an even higher level. In this Michael Sutton hires Kinsey to look into a startling, recently come back to him memory. He remembers two “pirates” burying “treasure”, of which he now believes may be the murdered body of a kidnapped girl who disappeared around that time. As Kinsey begins investigating, we not only have her point of view, but the past and present point of views of the other major players.

V is for Vengeance: Kinsey decides to treat herself to some new underwear and ends up stopping a shoplifter. This chance encounter gets her neck deep into the mafia, loan sharks, and a huge shoplifting adn merchandise moving ring.

W is for Wasted: A homeless John Doe is found dead on the beach with Kinsey’s business card. As she starts investigating into his death, she discovers that they are more connected than she could ever have guessed.

X, Y, Z are yet to come, but you bet I can’t wait to read them!

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Fangirlfinishedreadingwhattodonow

Ahh, the life of a fangirl

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For Part 6 go to Fandom Love

And Stay Tuned for Part 8

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For more book love, go to Heaven on Earth

For more quizzes, go to Where Were Going, We Don’t Need Roads

For more fav quotes, go to Perfectly Imperfect

For more of my favorite songs, go to Five to Nine 

What is This Thing?: Phantoms (1998)

Just what is this thing? Chaos, chaos in the flesh.

Phantoms is a 1998 film that is based on the book by Dean Koontz. The story is very creepy, and I was surprised at how well the film was done. I thought it was going to be done in a very stupid, silly way; but it was the essence of creepiness. The only thing I didn’t care for was Liev Schreiber, I felt that he didn’t portray the character very well in the beginning. I wouldn’t have chosen Rose McGowan either, but she did surprisingly well. I loved Ben Affleck as the sexy Sheriff and love interest. I love Ben Affleck though, I mean who doesn’t? They changed the film from the book, as expected, but the changes do not destroy the film, thank goodness. If you’d like to watch the film go here. So the film starts out with Dr. Jennifer Pailey bringing her trouble-making sister Lisa to live with her. They are hoping the change of scenery will help straighten her out as she was involved with gang members in Los Angelas.

I want to go back to LA

When they reach the town, it is empty. Like really empty. There is no one out and about even though they are in a ski town, in the middle of winter with great snow.

Gilmore girls creep

They continue on home. When Jennifer gets there she finds her housekeeper dead. All the life had been sucked out of her and she looks burned.

[Note: Pic from The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms not Phantoms

[Note: Pic from The Giant Behemoth not Phantoms]

OMG

The girls are widely freaked and decided to head to the sheriff’s. But there is one problem, their car won’t work.

Oh no!

Oh no!

The girls hurry on to the sheriff’s office where they find a deputy, burned and blackened. He appears to have shot his gun at something, but they don’t find any traces of it, except shells. Dr. Jennifer grabs a gun and the two run off to the bakery, as it is getting dark and they are really freaked out. They head to the baker’s, running quickly as they hear sounds as if someone is following them. When they get there the oven goes off revealing severed heads!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

The girls are completely grossed out and confused when the Sheriff (who ex-FBI) finds them.

Hello Sexy!

Hello Sexy!

With him are his two deputies Steve Shanning (Nicky Katt) and Stuart Wargle (Liev Shreiber) have come to investigate. They decide the best thing to do is go to the sheriff’s department, and just when they do every single horn, siren, whistle, bell, etc. goes off and then suddenly stops. The only lights left on are down on the Candleglow Inn up the street.

What the

They check it out and see that only four guests are registered. The Sheriff and Stu go upstairs, while the girls stay behind with deputy Steve.

While the sheriff is upstairs he goes into a room and starts looking through an opening in a closet. When he does he sees a vision of a young boy with a gun, which disappers. You see when the Sheriff was FBI he accidentally shot a boy, which made him quit and turn to small town life.

Aw! Look at his face. :(

Aw! Look at his face. 😦

Stu goes in the other room and finds a beautiful, dead woman. He sits next to her and puts his hand up her leg…

ew! Gross Yuck

What a perv!

Certified Creepo Ribbon

Then the Sheriff walks in. He lets it go, even though he is severely grossed out as he knows what Stu was doing, but he needs every man he can get as he has no idea what the situation is.

The Sheriff has Stu watch the hall as he continues checking things out. Stu comes on to Lisa who tells him flat out no, she is not digging that.

I don't think so

Dr. Jennifer joins the Sheriff and they discover that a bathroom locked from the inside (that has no other windows or doors) is empty, with something written on the mirror in lipstick. The writing says “Dr. Timothy Flyte–The Ancient Enemy“.

Phantoms Timothy Flyte Ancient Enemy mirror Note

 

The two have no idea who Dr. Flyte is but intend on finding out.  In another empty room they find a bunch of metal objects like jewelry, buttons, watches, gold teeth, a pacemaker, etc.; concluding that this thing, whatever it is strips a person completely of everything, if it chooses.

EW!

EW!

They go back into the lobby to regroup and figure out their next step. But then they suddenly hear a woman crying out “Help me!” and Deputy Steve rushes out to save her. The Sheriff follows him, but when he gets outside all that is left of Steve is his shoes and a gun.

What the

They head back to the Sheriff’s office and put the dead deputy in a body bag. They then call for help–military, Dr. Flyte, anybody, but the line was so bad they don’t know whether or not it went through.

AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! [Note: from When a Stranger Calls not Phantoms]

Bryce and Stu go through the dept. and pull out all their ammunition getting ready for–whatever the thing is that is trying to attack them. The lights go out and the creature takes on a Alien/The Thing (1982) feel. The next thing you know, Stu is dead.

victim

Too be honest, good riddance. He was a creep and I didn’t like him.

IDon'tTrustHimGreatGatsby

They also put Stu in a body bag and wait out the night.

We then switch to another part of the country- Dr. Flyte. Dr. Flyte (Peter O’Toole) is a tabloid worker in New York City. He used to a professor at Oxford, but they let him go as they felt his writings were “too silly”.

Phantoms Swine Peter O' Toole

 

Two FBI agents ask him to go to the small, winter, town of Snowfield to help solve what the “thing” is.

Back in Snowfield the three survivors are trying to figure out what to do next. Lisa tries to take a nap while the Sheriff tells Dr. Jen about how the monster called up the incident with the young boy. The two are interrupted when Lisa asks the Sherif to walk with her to the bathroom. He checks it and finds it clear. Lisa begins to smoke when she hears a squealing noise coming out of the drain.

Psycho-Shower

She checks out the bathroom stalls (much like Scream) and finds the Deputy Stu there!

im-back

 

Scream-Casey-Becker-drew-barrymore-31896958-2560-1088

In the book the “Phantom thing” was more like the Blob from The Blob (1958); although it could take on the shape of other things, or create small phantom pieces of itself. In the film, however, the “Phantom” embodies the form of Stu, which is understandable from a filmmaker point of view. It doesn’t copying The Blob at all, as I mentioned earlier copying The Thing. Just like The Thing, the “phantom” takes on the appearance of something. This wasn’t a horrible decision as I bet it was easier to film. They also did a lot of blackout or limited lighting when the creature was in its true form, which allowed it to remain creepy as your imagination creates it. The director of It (1990)  should have used the same technique, it would have been a better film.

I didn’t really care for Liev Schreiber, and thought he could have been much creepier. Instead he just comes off as a pervert. This film has actually ruined him for me in all other films. When I watch Kate & LeopoldScream, Scream 2, Scream 3, Lee Daniel’s the Butler, or X-Men Origins: Wolverine; I keep expecting him to do something perverted to all the women.

Yes I am

Yes I am

Anyways, back to the story. So the Sheriff goes into the bathroom and can’t find anything. They go down to check the body bags, but both are empty.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile Dr. Flyte is on route to Snowfield with military General Leland Copperfield, some mobile labs, an armored strike van, etc–all ready to take on whatever the “thing” is. They ask Dr. Flyte about “the Ancient Enemy”. Dr. Flyte explains that there were creatures, he calls “Ancient Enemy” who are amoeboid shapeshifters. This Ancient Enemy rarely feeds, but when it does, the effects are devastating and it was theorized that the Enemy either caused or aided in the extinction of the dinosaurs, the destruction of the Mayan civilizationRoanoke disappearance, the missing army of Nanking, China in 1939, etc. And the town appears to have been built on the home of one of these “Ancient Enemies”.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

The group arrives to Snowfield and the three survivors come to meet the army. The next thing you know, “the thing” has taken out almost the whole team using its shape-shifting qualities and the pipes/sewers. Now these scenes are pretty intense. I was watching them and screaming and my roommates were all, are you ok? I highly recommend watching this film.

General Copperfield is last of the military to be killed; as a pair of oily black tentacles seeps up through the pavement, penetrates his hazmat suit, and smothers him.

[Note: From The Mist]

[Note: From The Mist]

This leaves Dr. Flyte, Sheriff Bryce, Jenny, and Lisa as the remaining survivors..

He’s dead but the “Phantom” uses his body as a mouthpiece and begins speaking to the crowd.

 “My Flesh. Study it. Write the gospel. But do not try to leave. Witnesses to the Miracle.”

Phantoms

The body then falls to the ground and an oily black substance comes out along with a gecko, of which the group is supposed to get a sample of. Dr. Flyte begins to analyze the sample, coming to the conclusion it has lived in the depths of the earth for eons, growing to immense size, and absorbing knowledge from its prey. It can separate off parts of Itself to send as drones, warriors, phantoms, etc.–having them assume the shapes of anything or anyone It has absorbed; even of people or monsters from memories and dreams.With these, It has manipulated Bryce, Jenny, and Lisa into bringing Dr. Flyte here, to be Its prophet, and to write Its gospel. For It has begun to think of Itself as God–or the Devil. Indestructible. All-Powerful. Immortal. Unstoppable.

This is bad. Very bad.

This is bad. Very bad.

Dr. Flyte’s analysis reveals that It is similar to oil and if they are able to make the same kind of bacteria that eats away at oil spills, they may just have a chance at stopping it. They create cultures and prepare for the final battle.

Dr. Flyte goes out and calls to the creature.

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He tells It that he needs to see all of it in order to write Its “gospel”. He says that the others are creating a weapon against It, that they don’t believe in It like he does. It appears first as a single person, but then becomes all 400 residents of the town, merging and melding into one swirling mass, which resolves Itself into an immense, hideous, upright millipede.

The Sheriff, Jenny and Lisa run and fire the guns loaded with the bacteria culture  into It. This causes It to scream.  Jenny and Lisa run for shelter into the nearby deputy’s office, to reload their guns but are pursued by a drone of Deputy Stu.

Deputy Wargle: Oh, you've got some guns, ladies, you wouldn't shoot an unarmed man, would you? [both women cock shotguns and point them at him] Deputy Wargle: That's a dumb question.

Deputy Wargle: Oh, you’ve got some guns, ladies, you wouldn’t shoot an unarmed man, would you? [both women cock shotguns and point them at him] That’s a dumb question.

They empty their shotguns into him, knocking him down, and blowing away huge chunks of his legs and arms. Tentacles shoot out of his arm and leg stumps. The girls run away and and he follows, but is killed by Dr. Jen as she shoots him with the last of the culture.

The bigger entity is falling apart and the Sheriff follows the last of It down into the sewer, finding him face to face with the boy that he killed. He hesitates, and while he does so, a tentacle shoots out of the boy’s mouth, and knocks him down. His gun with the culture is stolen by It. It pulls the vials out and starts taunting the Sheriff. In response to It’s mockings the Sheriff pulls out his gun and shoots the vials, causing the bacteria to spread all over.

Hello Sexy!

With one final ear-shattering scream It is gone, and Bryce makes his way back to the others. As a helicopter arrives to rescue them, Dr. Flyte announces to the others that the Entity has won after all: It wanted him to tell the world, and that’s just what he’s going to do. Everything seems to end well, or well enough. Dr. Flyte has his story and will win back his prestige; Sheriff Bryce  is no longer traumatized about killing the boy; Dr. Jen and Sheriff Bryce have found each other; and Lisa and Dr. Jen have bonded. Sounds as perfect an ending you can get for a horror film.

TheEnd_Title_2

Uh, uh uh. Not quite yet!

We switch to a scene in a bar where Dr. Flyte is in TV talking about It and how it may still be out there waiting. One of the guys in the bar turns to his companion and says its a lot of hooey. A strange laugh is heard and at the end of the bar is Deputy Stu Wrangle, showing that It is still alive.

dun-dun-duuuun

So it really was a good film, and I’m telling you the scenes with the creature are super creepy!!! You’ll love them if you love scary movies!

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So unlike the other facebook cover pages I have made (and you should have guessed by now that practically every post has one) I made two for this one as the first one wasn’t working out right. Here’s the second one for those of you interested.

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Comment below which you think is better!

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

To go to the previous post, go to Unleash the Savage Instincts That Lie Hidden Within

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For more monster movies, go to Let Them Fight

For more films based on books, go tA Bit Pottery About Jane Austen

For more on Rose McGowan, go to What’s Your Favorite Scary Movie?

For more on Ben Affleck, go to Pot o’ Gold