What I’d Like for Christmas

Isn’t this awesome! I would love for this to be waiting under my Christmas Tree. I love The Princess Bride and Monopoly so it would be perfect for me!

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I love that the Jail is the Pit of Despair and that the trains are ships and a horse. ❤ it all! And that Miracle Max’s miracles are the chance and the Community Chest are the Pirate Chest! So clever.

love it

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For more Princess Bride, go to Some of the Best Lines Ever!

On the 8th Day ‘Til Christmas: Holiday in Handcuffs (2007)

On the 8th day ’til Christmas  my blogger gave to me

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Holiday in Handcuffs (2007)

This film is another one of those that goes under the cliché of two people who can’t stand each other being stuck together for a period of time; and then end up falling in love. This copies the film, It Happened One NightThat is such an influential film that I promise you I will do a review on it.

So this film was made by abc family, a part of their 25 Days of Christmas. It stars the amazing Melissa Joan Hart; sparking her return to acting; along with the very handsome Mario Lopez. I had the biggest crush on Mario Lopez when he was A.C. Slater on Saved by the Bell. (Although he was my second, my heart first belonged to Mark-Paul Gosselaar).

So the film starts out with Trudy, (MJH), being ragged on by her parents. In everything she’s been in lately, she always has mean parents, it makes you wonder if they are really like that.

Hmm

Hmm

Anyways, her mom is complaining about Trudy. Everything about her and she does is wrong. In fact, one thing her mother always complains about is Trudy’s hair, so she decided she would get a perm “to fix” it. It doesn’t turn out as planned as she completely wrecks her hair.

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Because she was distracted by her hair and a phone call from her mother she also misses a job interview.

What else could go wrong?

What else could go wrong?

When she gets to work, Raj’s Diner, her boyfriend stops by. Instead of going with her to her Christmas Family Reunion, he dumps her.

mary_bennetCan't get a break

Trudy has a complete breakdown, kidnapping the next guy she sees, David (Mario Lopez), and takes him with her. She has a 19th century gun, but David manages to slip on some ice making it much easier for Trudy to lug him in her car.

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Trudy ties him up with pantyhose and her scarf. She explains the situation and starts to tell him a little bit about herself. She runs out of gas and has to go get some, but the attendant comes out to pump her gas and sees David tied up. Trudy hurriedly explains that he’s her bf and they are going away for a weekend of “fun”. He runs back to his store and Trudy hurries to pump the gas before he gets back, worried he is going to call the cops. As the attendant comes out, he gives her free furry handcuffs for her “weekend”.

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So every Christmas Trudy’s family rents out a place for Christmas where they can be away from the world. No cellphones, phones, or any electronics are allowed. This year they are going to a cabin far out in the middle of nowhere. She takes David there, but first goes into the cabin to tell her parents that “Nick”, (as she is pretending David is Nick ), likes to pretend that he is kidnapped and doesn’t want to be there. When she brings David in, he starts yelling about him being kidnapped but all Trudy’s parents do is laugh. When her brother and sister also come in, they have the same result. Trudy also becomes the key-master, in charge of  hiding the phones and keys from everyone.

Its-so-crazy

Trudy also keeps an eye on David, by having him share the room with her; telling her mom that she’s old enough to sleep in the same room as her bf. They end up sharing a room with bunk beds. That night David tries to escape, and Trudy catches him, bringing him back to the cabin.

I don't think so

The next day, David catches Trudy on the phone, and the two fight over it until Trudy crushes it with a meat mallet. The mom lends David some of the dad’s old clothes, which are too small, causing him to be the butt of everyone’s jokes. When the mom needs something from the store, he and Trudy’s dad go out to get it. Trudy tries to stop them, but everyone convinces her it will be great “bonding time”. While the guys are gone, Trudy’s sister helps her with her hair; straightening it out.

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David and the dad drive out to the closest store,  which happens to be the same gas station that Trudy had stopped at before. When David tries to convince him that he was kidnapped and needs help; the man brings out a shotgun and tells him to go back to the pretty lady. David complies. As he and the dad are driving back; David tries to take the wheel, almost crashing them. The dad puts David in a chokehold and calms them down. When they get back, David is so bummed that he is still stuck there he flings himself down upon a chair. When he does that, his too-tight pants rip, and Trudy’s older brother comes to his rescue by lending him some of his clothes.

When he goes to get the clothes, David discovers that Trudy’s brother Jake has a phone. He borrows it and runs into the bathroom to hurriedly call his girlfriend, Jessica. When he reaches her, he can say nothing; because she is too busy yelling at him for standing her up.

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I am not pleased

David is finally able to explain by bursting out that he was going to propose. Now this part made no sense to me. Jessica is the daughter of David’s boss, and used to the high life. And he was going to propose to her in a diner?

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That makes no sense! You think he would pick something a little more classy than Raj’s Diner.

Anyways, he tells Jessica that he’s been kidnapped and to send help asap. Jessica promises to help, eagerly thinking of the ring she will be receiving.

By this time Trudy has figured out what is going on, and picks the lock on the door. She grabs the phone and tosses it in the toilet, but it’s too late by then. David laughs at her, and promises that he will be the best bf ever, just to make things worse when her family finds out what she did. He proves to be as her family tells him of all of Trudy’s secrets, has him put the angel on the top of the tree, make Trudy fetch David pie, and has him read Twas the Night Before Christmas. Trudy becomes extremely upset the way that her family seems to like David more than her.

After they read the book, the mom has them write out their Christmas lists and leaves Oreos and milk out for Santa. Here Trudy and David have a heart-to-heart. Trudy tells him that she is a disappointment to her parents and David tries to console her.

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The next day is Christmas, and in the morning Trudy and David spend the day out having fun. They play hockey and take a walk out in the snow. They both learn more about each other as David reveals that his parents died when he was about six, and was raised by his grandpa. He worked his way through college and studied architecture, becoming a developer only  because there was more money in it. Trudy realizes that while her family isn’t perfect there is plenty to be thankful for. She also tells David about the best Christmas she’s ever had. One year she was supposed to be in an ice-skating performance and it was canceled because of snow. She was so disappointed, that her father sprayed water over the patio, icing it up and decorated the whole area with lights so she could perform for them there.

Later, they go inside and play chess where they have some more heart-to-hearts and David realizes how sorry Trudy is for kidnapping him. They also just happen to walk under some mistletoe, causing the two to share a kiss and start up some feelings between the two.

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Later when David is cleaning up, he finds an album with photos of Trudy’s artwork. She does a lot of portraiture; very post-impressionism style. Trudy finds her mom, and discovers that not everything is perfect in her parent’s marriage.

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When present time comes around nobody gets what they want. Trudy receives a pink sweater, as her mom buys her one every year; Jake gets a tie; the Dad gets underwear; the mom a case of socket wrenches; and the grandma a mug that says “World’s Greatest Grandma”.  David got a backscratcher and Katie (Trudy’s sister) a book of all the law firms in the nation. Trudy is also given a briefcase, which starts another argument about Trudy’s need to get a “real job”. David can’t watch her parents be so cruel to Trudy, and interrupts telling them that her artwork is amazing. He also pulls out his ring for Jessica and proposes. It’s so sweet and romantic.

Double double yay

Meanwhile Jessica and the cops have tracked down Trudy’s friend and coworker to find out where Trudy is. They interrupt her and her boyfriend, and when the cops threaten her, she spills all.

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Back at the cabin, all are getting ready for Christmas dinner. In fact Trudy walks in on David getting ready, getting a great look at his bod. All I can say is I greatly appreciated the writers creating this scene.

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Right before dinner, David gets Trudy and tells her he has a Christmas surprise. He has recreated her prefect Christmas. He sprayed the patio so it was icy, and put lights up everywhere; and asks her to show him her ice-skating routine. She does and the two’s love for each other is cemented, but neither has realized it.

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You're_in_love_with_her

Christmas dinner arrives, and all hell breaks loose. Katie tells her parents that she dropped out of school and has used the tuition to start a pilates studio in CA. Jake reveals that he is gay and has been seeing a man for a long time. The parents tell all about their marital problems. Just as all is revealed, the cops break in arresting everyone and letting the cat out of the bag about the kidnapping.

ouch Hermione

Everyone spends the night in jail. The next day they are all released as David chooses to not press charges.

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Trudy realizes that she is in love with David, but puts herself into her painting, creating a piece about David’s Christmas surprise.

Meanwhile David is starting to see that Jessica isn’t the right person for him. He starts to reevaluate what his life is going to be like with her, and not quite pleased with what it will be like.

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As all this is happening, one of Trudy’s pieces is picked to be in a show. She invites her brother to come to it, and he brings along his boyfriend. At the show Trudy is surprised to see the rest of the family. The parents have been in counseling and all have promised to be more open with each other. Trudy’s piece also gets sold. However, her happiness is short-lived as she is heartbroken over David, he got married the Saturday before.

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Trudy leaves the show by herself, and is kidnapped. She is blindfolded and taken somewhere by………….David! David is the one who had purchased her picture and came to tell her he couldn’t marry Jessica. That not only is he in love with her, but she inspired him to create his own architectural firm. The film ends with the two being together; happily ever after!

Holiday in handcuffs kiss

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To start the 12 Posts of Christmas from the beginning, go to On the 12 Day ’til Christmas: The 12 Men of Christmas

For the previous post, go to On the 9th Day ’til Christmas: Borrowed Hearts

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For more on two who hate each other falling in love, go to I Don’t Want the Money

On the 11th Day ‘Til Christmas: The Santa Clause (1994)

On the 11th day ’til Christmas my blogger gave to me

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The Santa Clause (1994)

I first saw the film when I was about five or six and absolutely loved it. It is such an amazing film, and answers almost all the questions one has ever asked about how Santa makes his night flight possible. Tim Allen was amazing, as he is in everything, and Eric Lloyd was simply adorable as Charlie.

Who could say no to that adorable face?

Who could say no to that adorable face?

The script was just amazing as the lines are sooo goood! I recommend it for any family to watch, I know I watch it every year.

The film is about self-centered, divorced, father, Tim Allen as Scott Calvin; being tricked into becoming Santa Clause. The film starts out with him being late to getting his son, as he has chosen to hang out at his Toy Maker Company’s Christmas party. He has a fight with his ex-wife and her husband Neil, a psychiatrist, because they have told Charlie that Santa isn’t real. I really hate Neil, he is such an awful guy.

Ugh

Ugh

He is so controlling of Charlie, and is always trying to make these huge decisions about him when he is not even his father. He needs to back off and respect that Scott is the father and the one to make crucial decisions.

Scott has not prepared anything for their Christmas Eve dinner. He wants to start the meal but realizes that to cook his frozen turkey, it’s going to take a long time. He then decides to put it in the oven on the highest temperature possible, burning up everything. This causes them to go to Denny’s because it is the only place open. Just like in A Christmas Story, the evening out proves to be hilarious.

After the two return home, Scott reads Charlie the book Twas the Night Before ChristmasShortly after the two fall asleep they find themselves being visited by Santa. Although the visit doesn’t turn out as expected. Scott reluctantly ends up becoming Santa himself.

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Sarah the Little Girl: Santa?
Scott Calvin: Scott Calvin.
Sarah the Little Girl: How come your clothes are so baggy?
Scott Calvin: Because Santa is… watching his saturated fats. [gestures obesity]
Sarah the Little Girl: How come you don’t have a beard?
Scott Calvin: Because I shaved!  [instantly reveals an unwrapped present for her, out of his bag] Now, you want this doll or not? Go back to sleep.”

The deliver everything and the reindeers take them to the North Pole where everything is explained by Bernard, the head elf.

What a cutie!

What a cutie!

The next day Scott wakes up back at home in his bed; convinced everything was just a dream.

keanuWhoa

Now I really love the irony in this film. Here we have a self-absorbed, toy-inventor who was given the job of being the most unselfish toymaker. Of course Scott doesn’t believe he is Santa, but even though he chooses to live in denial, his body has already transforming. No matter what he does; he gains a belly like a bowlful of jelly, long white whiskers (a beard), and can’t stop wearing red.

And through this all Charlie is just as adorable as ever, telling everyone that his dad is Santa.

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“Neil: What about Santa’s reindeer? Have you even seen a reindeer fly?
Charlie: Yes.
Neil: Well, I haven’t.
Charlie: Have you ever seen a million dollars?
Neil: No.
Charlie: Just because you can’t see something, doesn’t mean is doesn’t exist.”

Here is where the story gets sad. Stupid Neil tries to take over everything and convinces the mom to get rid of Scott’s visiting rights as he feels Scott’s appearance will be damaging to Charlie. But Scott manages to manipulate the mom into letting him see Charlie at Thanksgiving. Charlie is finally able to convince Scott that he really is Santa. Just as Scott has finally accepted who he is, Bernard shows up and whisks them all away to the North Pole. However, they forgot to let the mom know about Charlie and she spends the next month worried about him.

Scott really gets into being Santa; and he works with the other elves and Charlie to complete all that needs to be done. They also do some major improvements with the sled and suit. Before you know it, it’s Christmas and they are heading out to deliver presents.

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Little do they know that the police are waiting for them. Not only do they have a ton of cops at Charlie’s house, but they are picking up every Santa in that radius and hauling them off to jail.

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When Scott does go to the house to drop off the presents, he ends up being arrested and taken in. This scene always reminded me of  Santa Clause is Coming to Town, as he gets caught in a similar way.

My favorite part is when they interrogate him. It’s hilarious.

When the Elves back at Mission Control realize something is wrong, they send out the Elven SWAT Team, E.L.F.S, to break him out.

I always say that line when I see tinsel, “tinsel, not just for decorating.”

So Santa gets out and clears everything up with his ex-wife. Everything ends happily as he goes out to deliver the presents and his ex-wife allows him to see Charlie anytime he wants.

It’s just a great, family film. Beloved by everyone.

Unfortunately, the sequels were not as good. They lacked the same quality of writing and hilarity. Don’t waste your time with them, but watch this one over and over! 😀

watch movie over and over

Merry Christmas!

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To start the 12 Posts of Christmas from the beginning, go to On the 12th Day ’til Christmas: The 12 Men of Christmas

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For more on The Santa Clause, go to Episode VI: Return of the Favorite Movie Lines List

For more on Santa Clause, go to the 25 Films of Christmas

For more on Disney, go to CANDY-TIME