It’s the End of the World: The Birds (1963)

It’s the end of the world

You know, I was having a hard time thinking of what movie to open with. What ’60s movie do I like?

Hmm…

Then I stupidly remembered The Birds. Of course!

It’s perfect!

This movie is one of the best Alfred Hitchcock movies ever. I simply adore this film so much. It has everything that makes up a good film. And I can just watch it over and over again.

So I don’t remember what exactly got me into Alfred Hitchcock, but I became obsessed with his films. I do know how I was introduced to The Birds. It was through Ann M. Martin, author of The Baby-Sitters Club.

Huh?

I loved the BSC books as a kid and read them all even belonging in the reading club that sent you two books a month and a little newsletter. I don’t remember if the newsletter or a book mentioned it, but I remember reading a note by Ann M. Martin about how she loved the film The Birds and because no one she knew had a VCR they could only watch it when it was on TV. Whenever it aired they would plan a sleepover and watch it with friends.

I can’t stop watching!

I became consumed with the idea of watching it, did and loved it. It was the first Alfred Hitchcock film I ever owned, me ordering it and planning on purchasing one every year on my birthday or Christmas and having the whole collection when I was an adult (did not happen sadly).

Later, a friend of mine. knowing how much I loved it, took me to Bodega Bay so I could see it in person and all the sites used in the film. It was so cool seeing everything and I later took many more trips out there. Here I am with the house that is used as a schoolhouse in the film. I blurred myself out as there are a lot of weirdos on the internet, no offense dear readers.

They also used to have a museum full of things from the movie and marketing/promotional materials, but it always had weird hours, then they closed it, then they had an awesome shop which doubled as a mini museum-but then the person died who owned it and the collection moved. Here I am with an item when they still had it.

Back in 2011, Tippi Hedren actually came out to do a promotional thing at Bodega Bay. I lived near there when I was going to school, but unfortunately I could not go and meet her as I had scheduled a trip home to be with family. However I had truly amazing and awesome friends who went out and stood in line and got her autograph my DVD. I tried to pay them back, but they would not let me know the price if it or let me do so.

I’m lucky

So while it was an amazing film done by an amazing director there is a sad twinge to the story as well. Alfred Hitchcock was obsessed with Tippi Hedren and controlled her, he wouldn’t let anyone talk to her-unless they were filming, and just was plan awful to her, abusing her really. She tried to talk to the studio heads but he was such a money maker they refused to do anything. And when she refused him, he blackballed her. Too bad she wasn’t able to have justice. If you would like to know more I really recommend reading Spellbound by Beauty: Alfred Hitchcock and His Leading Ladies by Donald Spoto

So that’s enough background, let’s move on to the review!

The film is based on a book by Daphne Du Maurier, this being the third of her works being published into a film-following Jamaica Inn and Rebecca. However, this story and her story have nothing in common besides birds attacking. And before we discuss the film, let’s watch the trailer.

So the film starts off in San Francisco where we have Melanie Daniels, Tippi Hedren, going into a bird shop to pick up her myna bird.

***little side note Alfred Hitchcock strolls on by***

****Second side note, by the way there is no music track-just bird noises****

*****And can I just say she is wearing a stunning green suit. I love it and wish I owned one just like it, although I have nowhere to wear it to.*****

Melanie notices a lot of birds in the air, thinking it odd, but moving along.

Huh?

Unfortunately her bird has not arrived yet. The shopkeeper goes to call and she waits along at the desk. In walks the gorgeous Rod Taylor, and Melanie decides the same thing. Pretending to be the shopkeeper so that she can talk to him and put the moves on him.

He wants lovebirds for his sister’s birthday. He can tell she is not a shopkeeper but is trying to embarrass her, asking her questions she has no clue to the answers. When he asks to see a love bird it escapes around the shop causing havoc. And the real shopkeeper comes out to try and catch it. He reveals to Melanie that he knows who she is and has been playing her the whole time. It turns out that she went to court over a broken glass window and he was there too. He’s a lawyer and believed she should have served time for what she did, not gone off scot-free because she is a wealthy woman with a famous father.

She’s offended, but not so that she takes down this handsome man’s license, has a friend of her father run the plate, buys him lovebirds,and tracks down the address of a Mr. Mitch Brenner.

She’s got it bad, and is slightly creepy-but I kind of understand as Rod Taylor is a dreamboat. Who wouldn’t want to run into him again.

She brings the birds to his house and plans to leave them outside with a cheeky note, but his neighbor informs him that Mitch is gone for the weekend to visit his family in Bodega Bay.

A little funny that neighbor knows so much, but hey this is the ’60s. People actually knew their neighbors.

So Melanie drives the curvy winding coast road to Bodega Bay, which I have done plenty of times, and I always thought it was weird that the birds never flap around but just move with the vehicle. They don’t act like normal birds. It has always been my theory that they are the demon seed that start the revolution against people. They are just too quiet and creepy.

This is the only video I could find. There was originally no music

She goes to the post office, which you can visit, so that she can find Mitch’s address. The postmaster shows her the way to go. When you go now everything is compeletly different, but you can still look across the water like she did.

The Tides restaurant still exists, although it has been redone as there was a fire. In fact they were allowed to use it for filming only if the main male character was named after the owner of the Tides, Mitch Brenner. So yes, that is how Rod Taylor’s character got his name.

Melanie asks for the name of Mitch’s sister, but the postmaster doesn’t know. He directs her to the school and the schoolteacher, Annie Hayworth (Suzanne Pleshette), to get the actual info. Turns out the name is Cathy.

Annie asks Melanie a few questions about her relationship to Mitch. Hmm, sounds like there is some history there.

Annie Hayworth: Did you drive up from San Francisco by the coast road?

Melanie Daniels: Yes.

Annie Hayworth: Nice drive.

Melanie Daniels: It’s very beautiful.

Annie Hayworth: Is that where you met Mitch?

Melanie Daniels: Yes.

Annie Hayworth: I guess that’s where everyone meets Mitch.

Melanie heads out into a rented boat with the birds. She sneaks up to their house in heels, not an easy feat, goes into the house and drops off the birds.

Now Tippi Hedren may be a beautiful woman but I would be extremely creeped out if someone did that to me. I mean she doesn’t even know him but tracked down not only Mitch’s home address, but boyhood address. A bit creepy and stalkerish.

Mitch, however, is besotted.

As Melanie heads back across the bay, Mitch takes his car to meet her.

******Can I stop and go on a slight sidebar here? Feel free to skip over if you wish. I just love Rod Taylor in that white sweater. I don’t know what it is but he is extra dreamy.

Drooling is over back to the movie*******

So Melanie gets dive-bombed by a gull, and pretty badly hurt and bleeding. Head wounds are the worst. Here is were I guess it starts, the first shot in the revolution.

******Side note: The man who asks Mitch what happened, is the real Mitch Brenner.*******

Back to the film. They go into the resturant where Mitch tends to her wounds. She questions him, wile he tries to get to why she came. Melanie tries to play off her stalkerish by saying it was on the way to visit Annie, the schoolteacher, but Mitch knows that its a lie, therefore confirming to us that there is something between Annie and him, or was.

Hmm…

Melanie tries to play it cool, but she can’t hide the fact she had the serious hots for him. Come on Melanie, you tracked him down-don’t try to be haughty.

Mitch’s mom Lydia comes in and is introduced to Melanie. Lydia is the original ice queen and horror future-mother-in-law. Ouch. And Jessica Tandy is a great actress, one line “Oh I see”, packed with serious weight. Let the games begin.

Ouch

Melanie is trying to head home but get tricked into coming to dinner as “she was staying the weekend” and won’t give up her lie. A girl has her pride after all.

She goes to Annie’s and wheedles staying there for the night. She tells Annie that she didn’t plan on staying long, which Annie replies she knows. That’s weighty right there, she knows as she didn’t plan on staying long either.

Melanie goes to dinner and meets cute little Cathy-friendly, cheery, adorable child. They mention that there is something wring with the chickens, They don’t like the feed…maybe because they are craving something else…like human flesh!

When Lydia calls her supplier it turns out her chickens aren’t the only ones on hunger strike. She agrees to see the farmer tomorrow to see if something is wrong with the chickens. And there is!

I love how Alfred Hitchcock plays the foreground and background against each other, both parts having things happen that go with the story, important, tension building, and just plan good.

We also found out that law and order Mitch is a defense attorney for “hoodlums and criminals”, interesting. Definitely a deep character.

Wow, there is more to him than I thought.

Cathy invites Melanie to her birthday party the next day, while in the kitchen Mitch and his mom start talking. They have a slight weird relationship as in someways his mom speaks to him as a child and in others their relationship is more spousal. Not that anything incestuous is going on, but as if that is the role that his mother put him in after his dad died.

We find out that there is a lot of interesting things in Melanie’s life. She jumps into fountains naked, tours Europe, and is always in the papers. A 1960s Sabrina van der Woodsen Debutante thats always doing something.

Mitch roots out the truth from Melanie about Annie, and starts goading her about her past misadventures, but Melanie isn’t having any of it. Good looks can only carry you so far Mitch.

Mitch Brenner: What about the letter you wrote me, is that a lie, too?

Melanie Daniels: No, I wrote the letter.

Mitch Brenner: Well what did it say?

Melanie Daniels: It said ‘Dear Mister Brenner, I think you need these lovebirds after all. They may help your personality.’

Mitch Brenner: But you tore it up?

Melanie Daniels: Yes.

Mitch Brenner: Why?

Melanie Daniels: Because it seemed stupid and foolish.

Mitch Brenner: Like jumping into a fountain in Rome?

Melanie Daniels: I told you what happened!

Mitch Brenner: You don’t expect me to believe that, do you?

Melanie Daniels: Oh, I don’t give a d*** what you believe!

Mitch Brenner: I’d still like to see you.

Melanie Daniels: Why?

Mitch Brenner: I think it might be fun.

Melanie Daniels: Well it might have been good enough in Rome, but it’s not good enough now.

Mitch Brenner: It is for me.

Melanie Daniels: Well not for me!

Mitch Brenner: What do you want?

Melanie Daniels: I thought you knew! I want to go through life jumping into fountains naked, good night!

We see the creepy birds watching from phone lines, congregating at the barn-waiting for the call to strike.

Not gulls but you understand the feeling.

Back at the house Annie and Melanie have brandy and Annie tells her her story and what happened. She met Mitch in college and fell in love, followed him here but Lydia got in the way. She kept them apart. She doesn’t want a daughter-in-law, she just wants her children. Annie didn’t want to lose him and stayed out here.

Then Mitch calls his ex-girlfriend for his new one. Ouch!

Poor girl

Melanie is apologized to and invited to the birthday party agreeing to come.

Both Annie and Melanie are surprised when a bird crashes into their door.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

At the party Mitch takes Melanie off to the side with alcohol. She wants to head home as she has work. On Mondays and Wednesdays she works at the airport, on Tuesdays she takes classes, on Thursdays she has her club and lunches supporting a child through school, etc. Normal society things. Appears there is more depth to this party girl. Hmm…I wonder if the creators of Gossip Girl have ever watched this.

Hmm…

Mitch makes a joke about a mother’s care ad it turns out she has serious mother issues. Her mother abandoned them at age 11. A theme of mother’s issues is nothing new to Alfred Hitchcock as he himself had a ton and used the theme in many films, the most famous being Psycho.

At the party they are playing a game when the gulls show up and start attacking all the kids. Dive bombing and scratching. They try to help shoo them away and get everyone into the house.

Mitch is worried for Melanie ands invites her to stay the night there to be safe. And seriously, I think it is the love birds. Even with the cloth over them that should put them to bed as it is “night” they still squabble like crazy stopping only, when Cathy remarks on them. And just after, tons of sparrows come down the chimney attacking them. All cower in fear while Mitch tries to fight them off. Melanie moves Lydia and Cathy out of the room, to safety. After the attack and birds are gone they call the police, but there is nothing they can do about it.

The next morning, Lydia takes Cathy to school and then heads out to question the farmer about the chickens being sick. Lydia goes in looking for him and instead sees broken teacups, just like how hers were destroyed by the bird attack. The rooms are quiet and face the same destruction as hers and then she sees it!

Him, the dead birds, his eyes!

So freaky the first time I saw it. Oh, and still remains a scene that terrifies most.

Traumatizing children for all time.

Lydia races home and leans on Mitch, telling him what happened. Mitch heads over to the police that are called when he and Melanie have some very tender intimate moments. Relationships speed up when danger mars your every moment.

Lydia is worried over Cathy, with the large windows at school and the broken ones at the dead body looming in her mind. We see another side of Lydia as well, more vulnerable, worried-maybe Mitch comes home not just to help his mom but because without his aid they would loose the land. Hmm…thats one thing I love about this film, on the surface it is one thing but there are many sides to all these characters.

Lydia asks Melanie to pick up Cathy as she is very worried about her and Melanie heads out right away. Melanie goes to the school, but decides to wait a bit until recess. The kids are singing and she stays outside when we have this amazing scene.

Melanie runs in and warns Annie about the jungle gym. Annie tells them they are conducting a fire drill as not to scare them and directs them to run to different places. Of course the birds attack. Poor kids.

Melanie ends up in the diner calling her newspaper mogul father and telling him the story of what happened, All listening to every word she is telling her father.

We are introduced to Mrs. Bundy (BUNDY AHH) who is an ornithologist and for the birds, Giving us some serious information on the birds.

Traveling Salesman: Gulls are scavengers, anyway. Most birds are. Get yourselves guns and wipe them off the face of the earth!

Mrs. Bundy: That would hardly be possible.

Deke Carter: Why not, Mrs. Bundy?

Mrs. Bundy: Because there are 8,650 species of birds in the world today, Mr. Carter. It is estimated that 5,750,000,000 birds live in the United States alone. The five continents of the world…

Traveling Salesman: Kill ’em all. Get rid of the messy animals.

Mrs. Bundy:…probably contain more than 100,000,000,000 birds!

We get a bit of debate as a Captain interjects that he also hates birds and wishes they were all gone, them having attacked one of his ship captains. Melanie states that the birds are killers after the kids. Everyone keeps talking down to Melanie as she tries to tell them that it wasn’t just a few but a ton and a series of different kinds.

Mitch shows up asking for Kathy, who is at Annies. Just as they argue the birds attack again. Mitch tells Melanie to stay behind as they take out a guy pumping gas causing it to flow over the ground. An unsuspecting smoker sets it off and boom.

This causes a big sign that the other birds can see and they all come in swarming. The pyre’s have been lit.

I’m in shock

All go out of the restaurant (Why? Don’t know) and we have the famous telephone scene.

They actually have a telephone booth and Tippi Hedren mannequin at one of the shops there and you can get a picture with it.

Mitch gets her out and they head back to the restaurant. Hiding with others. Mrs. Bundy, I notice you are quiet. Not talking down at her anymore are you?

One of them is hysterical, blaming Melanie. In a way I believe she is right. Although it isn’t Melanie, but those love birds.

Mitch and Melanie run to the schoolhouse to get Cathy finding Annie’s dead body.

Cathy is safely inside, but utterly traumatized. Mitch carries Annie inside and covers her with his coat. Then the three speed off to the Brenner house.

At the Brenner home, Mitch patches up the openings, prepping the house for an attack. He notices that there appears to be a pattern. They attack, disburse, regroup, attack again. Why?

Hmm…

Melanie tries to contact her father but the lines are cut. The birds isolating them and making it unable for them to reach anyone or get even local radio.

Lydia starts to freak out wanting answers, the tension exploding. All are succumbing to it.

Cathy wants the love birds with her, NOOOO nor those evil things. Even now they are probably plotting.

Now they wait, trapped. Kathy gets so anxious she makes herself sick. Then they wait again. Hearing them, being taunted by them.

I’m crazy

We have the first attack of gulls breaking windows and trying to peck through the door. Mitch being the one to take action and stop them. Then Melanie goes up to the attic.

Poor Melanie. they tend to her, but she is banged up. This scene was horrible to film. Seven days of birds being thrown at her, again and again.

Mitch uses this time of quiet to plan an escape. Melanie needs a hospital, so he and Cathy start getting things ready, not knowing what will face in the outside world or if they will be able to ever come back.

I like how Hitchcock ends the film with us not knowing if they make it out okay. We never know if everything will go back to normal. What or who caused this? I think it makes the film stronger and gives you the opportunity to create your own theory from each of his clues.  If they had given us an answer, it probably would have been lame no matter what was chosen, we would have found faults. Sometimes it is better just not knowing.

So there we go,  believe my theory or create your own. Either way watch the film.

This film changed how I look at birds. I never liked them before and hated them ever since. I’ll never look at another the same way again. Especially when they get in large groups or swarm overhead.

Not gulls but you understand the feeling.

After I showed this film to some friends who had never seen it, a few days later we were shopping at a store. As we are leaving, my one friend looks behind us at the store and goes ashen. She freaks out and tells us to run. As we are I look back and see a ton lined up on the store watching, then deciding to take off. We all ran as fast as we could to the car struggling in, and  speeding home. Nothing happened, but a film like this just sticks to you.

And our facebook banner:

So this kicks off the beginning of Horrorfest VII. I hope you enjoy it and the spooks. thrills, and chills that are to come.

For more on The Birds, go to Going on a Treasure Hunt

For more Alfred Hitchcock films, go to You’re a Detective, Let Me Give You a Tip. Don’t Wave Important Evidence in a Telephone Booth. They Have Glass Windows: Blackmail (1929)

For more Daphne de Maurier, go to That Place…There’s Queer Things Goes on There: Jamaica Inn (1939)

The Wearing of the Green: 17 More Irish Heroes

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So Happy Saint Patrick’s Day! You all know what Saint Patrick’s mean on this blog, another 17 Irish heroes.

Once again it was difficult trying to find 17, but I started last November and finally completed it. Here we go!

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17) Patrick from The Accidental Husband

New York Fireman Patrick (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) is about to marry the girl of his dreams; that is until her mind is changed by a relationship radio host, Emma Lloyd (Uma Thurman). Patrick becomes so enraged after his fiancé leaves him that he decides to get revenge on Emma. Emma is also about to get married, making a big tadoo about the event. Patrick has his friend hack into the courthouse files and make it so that Emma is already married, and married to Patrick. When Emma finds out, she goes to Patrick to try to get an annulment. Patrick, in Overboard style, starts off trying to antagonize Emma, but ends up falling for her. But will he be able to figure out a way to win Emma away from her fiancé? And what will happen when Emma discovers the truth about their “marriage”?

Why Patrick is Awesome:

If you can move past the fact that this actor plays Dean and Sam Winchester’s incredibly absent father and his whole revenge plot; he’s a pretty cool guy. He is kind, charming, sweet to older ladies, supportive, and encouraging. The scene with the cake tasting is just adorable. I could see why a girl would fall for him.

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16) Kevin O’Reilly from Star Trek: The Original Series

In Star Trek the mission of the Starship Enterprise is to go boldly where no man has gone before, to explore strange new worlds, and to seek out new life and new civilizations. The crew has many adventures as they meet all kinds of races and encounter all types of creatures.

Why Kevin O’Reilly is awesome:

Kevin O’Reilly is not a well known Star Trek character, mostly because he was only in a few episodes in the series. O’Reilly worked as a navigator and was later put in engineering. He was a silly kind of guy, fun and the comic relief.

For more Star Trek, go to A Fashion Statement

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15) F. Scott Fitzgerald from Midnight in Paris (2011)

Gil is a wealthy, Hollywood, screenwriter who suffers from severe nostalgia. He wishes he could be a novelist, but even more so one in the 1920s, like his heroes F. Scott Fitzgerald or Ernest Hemingway. He and his girlfriend are visiting Paris and one night he is out walking around after midnight when he is approached by a 1920s Peugeot Type 176 car. The people are dressed in 1920s clothing and Gil goes with them. He finds himself traveling back in time and meeting some of his favorite artists; such as Salvador Dali, F.Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Pablo Picasso, Zelda Fitzgerald, Cole Porter, Josephine Baker, and Gertrude Stein.

Why F. Scott Fitzgerald is awesome:

I love F. Scott Fitzgerald’s work, The Great Gatsby being one of my favorite novels. The reason why I choose this representation of Fitzgerald was that I thought Tom Hiddleston captured the sweet personality, dreamer, people pleaser, and all of his insecurities he had. I thought he also did a great job showing his two loves: writing and Zelda; and how the two did not always meld well, sometimes being toxic for the other.

For more F. Scott Fitzgerald, go to Old Fandoms and New Fancies

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14) Stacey McGill from The Baby-Sitters Club

The Baby-Sitters Club books, films, and TV series followed a group of 8th and 6th graders who own their own baby-sitting business. Besides baby-sitting they do normal teenage things, solve crimes, fight racism, and more. It was a series from my childhood that I just loved reading.

Why Stacey is awesome:

Stacey McGill moves from New York to Connecticut because of her dad’s transfer. She is cool, sophisticated, and mature; yet not snobbish or rude. She is also kind, compassionate, and helpful. She does have a few faults; like being boy-crazy and letting other plans slide for the guys in her life. However, she is always there when you really need her. She leaves the BSC for a bit, tempted by what she thinks are “cooler” people, but eventually realizes her mistakes and works on being accepted back into the group. I always liked Stacey’s books as she had interesting stories; such as old friends growing apart, divorce, dealing with her diabetes, letting go of a need to control, etc. Plus her outfits were always interesting.

For more on Stacey McGill, go to Back to the Fandoms

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13) Betty O’Shale from Flintstones Viva Rock Vegas

This prequel tells the story of how Fred, Barney, Wilma, and Betty all met. Wilma Slaghoople has had enough of her rich lifestyle. She escapes to Bedrock and meets Betty, who mistakes her as a caveless woman in need, and decides to open her home to her. Meanwhile, Barney and Fred have started work at the rock quarry and are both hoping to meet the women of their dreams. They meet Betty and Wilma at the burger joint, and soon are spending all their time with each other. But when Wilma’s past comes out, Fred starts feeling insecure. And when they travel to Vegas they get into all kinds of shenanigans: gambling, rock stars, showgirls, wrestling, etc.

Why Betty is Awesome:

Betty is incredibly kind and sweet. She is willing to open her home to a stranger and help out all she can. Besides her kindness to Wilma, she also helps out at food shelters and helps feed the homeless. Betty is the best friend you could ever have; wonderful to all she meets.

For more Flintstones Viva Rock Vegas, go to This Isn’t Love, This is Ecstasy: Flintstones Viva Rock Vegas (2000)

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12) P.J. McNeal from Call Northside 777

This film-noir film is based on a true story. Eleven years earlier, a cop was killed when visiting a speakeasy. Two men were tried and convicted for the murder. In modern day, an ad by a Polish washerwoman giving $5000 for information of who the real killer was bring Reporter P.J. McNeal on the story. At first McNeal is extremely skeptical, but as he talks to the inmate and researches the case he starts to believe him and try to find a way to free him.

Why P.J. is awesome:

P.J. is first of all played by Jimmy Stewart, so he is gorgeous. But the most important traits are that he is intelligent, dogged, compassionate, and kind. He may be skeptical, but when he decides to back something he truly gives it his all; doing everything he can to help this man. Even at times risking his own career and good name to search out the truth.

For more Jimmy Stewart, go to Hark the Herald Angels Sing

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11) Brian O’Conner from The Fast and the Furious Franchise

Oh, Paul Walker. You were gone too soon. I’ve always had a crush on Paul Walker, but the film that really cemented it was his portrayl in The Fast and the Furious.

Brian O’Conner is an FBI agent sent undercover to investigate whether a group of car racers is stealing from trucks. It takes a while, but he infiltrates the group; befriending the racers.

He ends up getting too close and losing his objectivity and job. In the sequel he is a racer only now, but is asked by the FBI to come on a case. Afterwards, he is brought back to the FBI, but leaves it for his friends.

Why Brian O’Conner is awesome:

Brian is nice, intelligent, and attractive. However, his best trait is that he is the most loyal man you will ever meet. Brian cares about his friends and will do anything to help them, even sacrificing his job and reputation.

For more on Brian O’Connergo to The Fans and the Furious

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What happened to you?

What happened to you?

10) Mary Yellen from Jamaica  Inn

Mary’s mother has just passed away so she travels to Jamaica Inn to stay with her cousin Patience. While there she discovers that the Inn is thought to be haunted and full of unsavory characters. To makes things even worse, her cousin is married to an abusive and lecherous man, Joss. As she is trying to settle in, she discovers that her uncle is actual part of a ring of pirates, taking out the lighthouse and salvaging from the ships. She saves one from being hanged and finds herself on an adventure she never dreamed of.

Why Mary is awesome:

Mary is incredibly kind, brave, bold, and assertive. She will not stand for the way Joss treats her or her cousin Patience, standing up to him in every way. When she sees that Jem Trehearne is about to be hanged, she saves his life even though it may cost her own.

For more Jamaica Inn, go to That Place…There’s Queer Things Goes On There: Jamaica Inn (1939)

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9) Danny McCoy from Las Vegas

Las Vegas is a TV show about a group of people running the fictional Montecito Hotel & Casino Resort in Las Vegas. They deal with the usual issues: staff problems, card counters, performers, chefs, etc; along with helping each other in personal problems. The one thing that made the show lovable, although completely unrealistic, is that all the people enjoyed helping others and would go the extra mile. Because it is Las Vegas, we also get amazing cameos: Wayne Newton, Jean-Claude Van Damm, Sylvester Stallone, etc.

Why Danny is awesome:

Isn’t this man dreamy? Anyways, Danny was simply amazing and the type of guy you want. He was born and raised in Las Vegas, but left to join the Marines. He returns and works for Ed in security. Danny is sweet, adorable, protective, loving, etc. Most of all Danny has a huge heart and is always willing to help others out, something that makes him almost fall for a scheme, like two women trying to take his father’s inheritance. But even though he is sweet, you don’t want to mess with him as he can just as easily take you out.

For more on Danny McCoy, go to A Fantabulous Post

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8) Tom Hagen from The Godfather (1972) & The Godfather: Part II (1974)

In The Godfather, Vito Corleone is the father of five children: Santino, Alfredo, Connie, and Michael; along with adopted Irish son Tom Hagen. While everyone is involved in the family business, Michael wants no part. That is, until the Godfather is injured, soon everyone is doing all they can to protect the family.

In Part II, we are split between Vito’s story of his immigration and the next steps Michael takes of being the Godfather. It’s not easy as he is trying to expand into Cuba, go legitimate, and protect the family.

Why Tom Hagen is awesome:

While Sonny is the brash and tough one, Fredo the incompetent, Connie the high strung, and Michael cool-headed and clever; Tom is the reliable one. He’s the best businessman out of the family; always thinking, calculating, and planning what can be best for the family.

Tom cares strongly for his family, doing anything he can for his parents, brothers, and children. Out of everyone in the whole family he is the only one who achieved exactly what his parents wished he would, staying focused on the goals of being a lawyer and aiding his family.

For more on Tom Hagen, go to What a Fanatic!

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WhileYouWereSleeping

7) Jack Callaghan from While You Were Sleeping

Lucy works at a toll booth, but dreams of something more. She also dreams of the guy who passes through her booth every day, Peter Callaghan. One day he gets roughed up and thrown before an upcoming train. Lucy saves him and through a mistake, she is also believed to be his fiancé. As Peter is in a coma, the Callaghan family welcomes Lucy into the fold. But as Lucy spends more time with the Callaghans, she starts to fall for the other brother; Jack. What will Lucy do when Peter wakes up?

Why Jack is awesome:

Jack is a great older brother who always wants to believe the best in his younger brother. He is also kind, charming, sweet, encouraging, and a dream date. Not only does he care for Lucy, but he also listens to her thought, hopes, and dreams; doing all he can to make them come true.

For more on Jack Callaghan, go to A Tender Toll-Booth Token: While You Were Sleeping (1995)

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6) Dr. Henry “Hank” McCoy AKA Beast from X-Men

Dr. Henry “Hank” McCoy is extremely eloquent, brilliant, and well-educated. He has degrees in science, biochemistry, genetics, mathematics, along with being well versed in art and literature. His powers are agility and beastlike strength. He was part of the original X-Men; alongside Angel, Iceman, and Marvel Girl  and Cyclops. He looked human before, but later after an accident he turns blue and looks more werewolf/bestial.

Why Hank is awesome:

Hank is the perfect gentleman and everything you’d want in a guy. He sweet, romantic, intelligent, educated, strong, and adorable. I’m not sure what more I can say about his many merits.

For more X-Men go to, Pot o’ Gold: 17 Irish Heroes

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DrawGunfighter

5) Marshall Mike Meagher from “Wichita’s New Year’s Day Gunfight” from Draw: The Greatest Gunfights of the American West by James Reasoner

This book is a collection of the West’s most famous and greatest gunfights. Covers everyone from the Earps to Bat Masterson, to the Younger Brothers and Pinkertons, etc.

This particular passage tells of Marshall Meagher’s cleaning up of Wichita and the famous gunfight against Sylvester Powell.

Why Marshall Mike Meagher is awesome:

Marshall Mike Meagher was elected to clean up the town of Wichita which was horribly wild and out of control. In fact he did such a great job and destroyed the bad reputation, that the city officials ousted him out as they felt he was doing too good a job. However, their interference didn’t last long, as the people wanted him back.

Now Marshall Meagher was an amazing gunslinger, a crackshot, intelligent, brave, and just incredible.

So the most famous gunfight was the New Year’s Day gunfight. One night when he was making rounds he came upon Sylvester Powell, horse-thief. Marshall Meagher confronted him, and arrested him. However, Powell was freed by the company and then went out to look for the Marshall for revenge. While Marshall Meagher was in the outhouse, Powell shot it up, but only managed to hit him in the leg. Marshall Meagher burst out and was then hit in the hand, but even though that happened he still was kicking, shooting after Powell. Powell took off down the street, out running the Sheriff who already suffered from a limp and now had a wounded leg.

Powell had slowed down and was casually walking when all of a sudden he heard his name being called. He turned around and there was Marshall Meagher; who then shot him right in the heart.

Boom! What an amazing guy; limping, shot twice; and still gets his quarry. What a hardcore hero.

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4) Franklin “Foggy” Nelson from Daredevil

Daredevil is the comic book that follows a blind boy turned superhero, Matt Murdock aka the Daredevil. He lives in Hell’s Kitchen, New York; and works hard as a lawyer by day with his friend and partner in the practice, Franklin “Foggy” Nelson.

Why Foggy is awesome:

Now I’m a big fan of the older Daredevil comics, but the Foggy in those was a bit…annoying. It wasn’t that he was rude, whiny, or mean; he was just always pitying Matt all the time. It got old quick. He also was a rich kid and not a vert good lawyer, using Matt’s talent to help his own insufficiency.

However, in Netflix’s revamping I like the improvements on the Foggy character. In this Foggy is a great lawyer, not as good as Matt; but intelligent and able to hold his own. He also is not some silly rich kid, but the son of a butcher doing all he can to achieve his dreams. I think this makes his character stronger and more equal to Matt. He also is less pitying in this than the orginal comics. While he feels bad for Matt’s lack of sight, he is also the one person that doesn’t treat Matt as if he’s handicapped, but as a regular person.

For more on Foggy Nelson, go to Old Fandoms and New Fancies

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wrinkle-inTime

3) Calvin O’Keefe from A Wrinkle in Time Series and The O’Keefe Family Series.

So I’m not quite sure how to describe these two series but I will do my best.

So A Wrinkle in Time Series involves Calvin O’Keefe, Meg Murray, and her younger brother Charles Wallace involved in a huge adventure to stop an evil force from destroying planets. They are taken through space, time, and dimensions. In the sequel Meg and Calvin travel into Charles’ body in order to save him from destroyers trying to erase his existence.

In the O’Keefe series; Calvin is all grown up and married to Meg with children. In the first book he is working on an experiment when his intern Adam arrives, unsure whether he should trust Dr. O’Keefe or turn him in to a spy orginaization. In the second book, the O’Keefe family save a young boy from a horrible plot and attempted murder whilst on a ship in the ocean.

Why Calvin is awesome:

Calvin was raised in a very large Irish family with a father who is abusive and a mother who doesn’t care as she is dissatisfied with her life. Calvin has grown up never feeling loved or cared for; except a few teachers and the school librarian who has encouraged his love of learning.

He meets Meg, Charles, and the family; finding a place of belonging. Like Calvin, those two also have trouble finding their place with normal people as their intellect or attitude cause major roadblocks.

Besides being intelligent, Calvin is also caring and compassionate. When Meg and Charles become his friend, his loyalty and care with protecting them knows very little bounds. And when Meg has problems controlling her temper; Calvin is able to help her realign her feelings and help her express kindness toward others.

 And in spite of all the odds, Calvin not only achieves immense scientific and financial success; but he is an amazing father and wonderful husband.

For more on Calvin O’Keefe, go to A FANtastic Voyage

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StartrekDrMccoy

2) Leonard “Bones” McCoy from Star Trek

In Star Trek the mission of the Starship Enterprise is to go boldly where no man has gone before, to explore strange new worlds, and to seek out new life and new civilizations. The crew has many adventures as they meet all kinds of races and encounter all types of creatures.

Why Bones is awesome:

So I love Karl Urban as Bones, but I felt that it was only right to go with the original. Bones is a medical doctor, appointed to the USS Enterprise under Captain Kirk.  He was divorced before he joined the ship, and later remarried.

The best thing about Bones is his wit and sarcastic nature. I love all his sayings, I mean every word that drops from his mouth is just so sassy and fun. He is so hilarious and part of the dream team that made Star Trek a hit.

He cares deeply for Captain Kirk, seeing him as a brother. This causes a strained relationship with Spock as Bones doesn’t like to see him trying to horn in on his buddy. However, the two at times overcome those issues and have moments of friendliness.

For more on Star Trek, go to Rock You Like a Hurricane

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1) Rick O’Connell from The Mummy (1999) The Mummy Returns (2001)

Thousands of years ago a priest was sentenced to the worst death for betraying his Pharaoh. He vowed he would rise again. Now in 1920s Egypt, librarian Evie and her brother have found a map that leads to the hidden city rumored to have the best treasure imaginable. It turns out that Evie’s brother stole them, making the two have to recruit the original owner, ex-foreign legion soldier, and American; Rick O’Connell. It turns out that they aren’t the only ones after it, and when they arrive in the city they awaken their worst nightmare, the mummy.

In the sequel it is about eight years later, Evie and Rick are married and have a son. When their son looks into something he shouldn’t and helps awake the scorpion king; the O’Connell’s once again have to travel to Egypt, this time racing against time and a reawakened mummy.

Why Rick O’Connel is awesome:

First of all, Rick is played by Brendan Fraser and I don’t care what anyone else says; he is super hot! Yes I love Brenden Fraser and everything he has ever been in.

So back to Rick, not only was Rick completely hardcore in his intelligence, strength, and crackshot abilities; but he is just one awesome warrior. He does start off a little rude, as his complete loss of his group of soldiers has made him unhappy and not want to be a part of life. But being with Evie has reawakened his compassion and made him want to not only help but protect her. He is an amazing adventurer and hero.

In the sequel we see Rick as a father, and he is a truly dreamy one. Not only the perfect husband, wiling to do anything to help and protect his wife; but will go to any lengths to protect and aid his son. We also once again see his warrior prowess as he battles the scorpion king and the mummy.

For more on Rick O’Connell, go to Year of the Anniversaries

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So that ends my list for this year. You all know what I’ll be doing with the rest of my day. Eating some soda bread made by my sister blog, MysteriousEats.wordpress.com. And my yearly tradition, watching the Disney Channel Original Movie: The Luck of the Irish.

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For the 2013 Saint Patrick’s Day post, go to Pot o’ Gold: 17 Irish Heroes 

For the 2014 Saint Patrick’s Day post, go to At the End of the Rainbow: 17 More Irish Heroes

For the 2015 Saint Patrick’s Day post, go to Lookin’ Over a Four-Leaf Clover: 17 More Irish Heroes

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A Horrorfest Hitch

Happy Halloween jack-o-lantern

So I hope you all had a great Halloween. Mine was pretty good, and I had an awesome costume. I was a ghostbuster, and designed a suit and proton pack; making it as close to the film as possible, but using a name patch with my own last name. In fact, I plan on wearing it every Friday the 13th. Awesome right?

ghostbusters

So I’m sure you all have been wondering, what was going on with Horrorfest? I missed days, posted unedited pieces, and only completed 28/31 posts. Well, October was really full. I had two weddings; both of my cats were injured within two days of each other and I had to take them to the vet for stitches, having to monitor them, administer medicine twice a day, and change their box constantly; worked my usual jobs; went to the Back to the Future trilogy at my local cinema; and I had a graduation for one of my works, and more.

keanu Whoa

And that’s just the tip of it. I also had some family issues that came up, causing me less time to work on this.

So I am sorry for the delays and unfinished work, next year I promise it won’t be like that. Next year will mark my fifth Horrorfest, and I’m planning to go all out for it.

So as there are only three posts that weren’t done, I am going to finish writing and posting them. After I do so I will update this post with those completed works. So let’s go to our Horrorfest  wrap-up!

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So this year I reviewed 23 films, 4 TV episodes, and had 2 editorials.

So one thing I noticed about this year was that my first Horrorfest the first film I reviewed was made in 1962, in the second Horrorfest the first film I reviewed was made in 1954, in the third Horrorfest the first film I reviewed was made in 1941, and this year’s first post was made in 1931. 1960s, 1950s, 1940s, and 1930s. I did that all without realizing it. Pretty cool, huh?

keanu Whoa

So this year I ended up with quite a few themes. The first being mad scientists; this occuring in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, along with Avengers: Age of Ultron.

Jekyll&Hydedrink potion

Classic literature once again proved to be a prime place to find film adaptations perfect for Horrorfest. This year we had Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, A Study in Scarlet, and The Brothers’ Grimm Fairy Tales.

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Aliens were also a big theme this year. There was Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, Alien vs. Predator, Twilight Zone episode, The Iron Giant, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and Total Recall.

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I also thought that doing three Alfred Hitchcock films was something I should continue. This year I reviewed Jamaica Inn, The 39 Steps; and after talking about it for three years, I finally reviewed Psycho. 

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This year I decided that every Friday would be a TV show review: choosing episodes from The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Mysteries, The Twilight Zone, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Midsomer Murders.

Ringu Watch TV

I also had the theme of boyfriends/husbands/wives who are more than what they seem. These were Dangerous Crossing, The Screaming Skull, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode, Rosemary’s Baby, Gaslight, The Stepford Wives, and Total Recall.

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We also had quite a few robots. The Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode, The Iron Giant, Avengers: Age of Ultron, and The Stepford Wives.

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Witches made a comeback; in Rosemary’s Baby and the Midsomer Murders episode.

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And after reading every year how I really, really, really wanted to do a famous Vincent Price thriller/horror/mystery; well guys you don’t have to hear me whine anymore, I finally did it with The Bat. Yay!!

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So for those who have missed it, here is everything in Horrorfest IV:

You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

And Then There Was Two: A Study in Scarlet (1933)

What Are the 39 Steps?: The 39 Steps (1935)

That Place…There’s Queer Things Go On There: Jamaica Inn (1939)

There Are Thirteen Chairs at the Table…And That’s Unlucky: Mystery of the 13th Guest (1943)

Because I Am Mad I Hate You. Because I Am Mad I Have Betrayed You: Gaslight (1944)

I Do Think You Are Confused, Mrs. Bowman: Dangerous Crossing (1953)

They’re Already Here! You’re Next!: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)

It’s Mrs. Archer. She’s On a Rampage!: Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958)

She Cries in the Night: The Screaming Skull (1958)

A Man Without a Face: The Bat (1959)

We All Go a Little Mad Sometimes: Psycho (1960)

Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?: The Twilight Zone (1961)

What Have You Done to Him?: Rosemary’s Baby  (1968)

There’ll Be Somebody With My Name…But She Won’t Be Me!: The Stepford Wives (1975)

A Haunting We Will Go: The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Mysteries (1977)

Someone Has Erased His Memory: Total Recall (1990)

I’m the Chosen One. And I Choose to Be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

A Giant Metal Man: The Iron Giant (1995)

Gypsy Justice: Thinner (1996)

She’s Been Totally Different…Like Stepford: Ted, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997)

A Modern Mummy: Under Wraps (1997)

The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend: Alien Vs. Predator (2004)

The Story, We’re Living It. It’s Alive: The Brothers Grimm (2005)

He is Coming: The Visitation (2006)

A Book Considered Too Dangerous to Keep: The Magician’s Nephew, Midsomer Murders (2008)

Psycho Strangers: The Girl He Met Online (2014)

We’re Mad Scientists. We’re Monsters: Avengers, Age of Ultron (2015)

Monster Mash

Haunted Harmonies of Halloween: Top 5 Songs to Play On Halloween

What Are the 39 Steps?: The 39 Steps (1935)

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Beautiful, mysterious woman pursued by gunmen. Sounds like a spy story. That’s exactly what it is.

This is another one of Alfred Hitchcock’s little known gems, and celebrating its 80th anniversary. I know many of you might be wondering why I chose this film and Jamaica Inn instead of The Birds or Vertigo. I don’t know, I guess I just feel like everyone talks about those films, and no one talks about Hitchcock’s earlier works, which were also fantastic. Maybe not as stylized as he didn’t have money and the technology wasn’t as great; but they are good stories with amazing suspense.

Suspense have to know

So the film is based on a book of the same name by John Buchan. It has been remade in 1959, 1978, and more recently in 2008. I have only seen Hitchcock’s and the 2008 version, but so far this is my favorite.

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I first became aware of this film when I bought a DVD for a dollar at Wal-Mart that had 4 Alfred Hitchcock films: Easy Virtue, Sabotage, The 39 Steps, and Jamaica Inn. As I was watching the film, the DVD froze right in the middle, making me unable to know how the film ended.

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Now if you have never had this happen to you in the middle of a Hitchcock film then you are lucky that you don’t know how excruciatingly painful it is to be stopped in the middle. How does it end???? I was going crazy, until my mom told me that she might have a VHS copy of it. I searched every inch of our film cases, until I found it. Watching it and loving it.

Finally something GOOD!

One thing I really like about this film, is that it is one of Hitchcock’s earliest films to have the theme of an ordinary person, caught up in extraordinary circumstances.

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I’m not sure if it is the first as I haven’t seen all of his silent films. They are hard to get copies of.  So let’s get started on the prelude to SaboteurNorth by Northwest, The Man Who Knew Too Much and all those other great regular joes getting a most irregular experience with The 39 Steps. 

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This film was made in Britain, so the opening is very different, not the usual Hollywood or FBI warning type things you see.

The music hall has a special guest today, Mr. Memory a man who knows everything as he commits to memory 50 facts a day. Richard Hannay has decided to come and watch the program with countless others, as it is a full house tonight. And of course, lots of hecklers, as this isn’t a super high class program, we have working and middle class attending. People are questioning Mr. Memory, but the program stalls when some drunks start brawling and create a hoopla. Two shots ring out and everyone flees.

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A woman runs into Hannay and he helps get her out of the building. She asks to come home with.

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Richard is a bit wary, but agrees.

The two go to his apartment, his temporary one as he is not permanent here. He just came from Canada but travels all over Canada, England, Scotland, and Ireland for his job.

When they get inside Hannay notices that the girl starts acting strangely. She will stand away from windows and close to the walls. She asks him to move a mirror around, and to close the curtains on the windows. The phone rings and she pleads him not to answer as she is sure “they” are calling for her.

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He gives her a drink which she gulps down, clearly frightened about something. She is ready to give him an explanation, but not until they move to the more secure kitchen instead, of which she closes the curtains.

The phone rings again, Hannay compiling to her wishes, but finding the whole thing strange. Even more when she asks for something to eat.

Weird

Weird

She tells him to call her Annabella Smith, it is not her real name, as she changes it wherever she goes. Hannay starts cooking her some eggs, when they hear a thump of the stove being turned on, which frightens Annabella. Hannay assumes it is because of the gunshots they heard earlier, but she tells him she was the one who fired the shots.

Say What

Annabella tells then there were two men there that wanted to kill her. Hannay doesn’t believe her.

Richard Hannay: Beautiful, mysterious woman pursued by gunmen. Sounds like a spy story.

Annabella Smith: That’s exactly what it is.

Annabella tells him everything; she is a secret agent with no country, helping whatever one she chooses. She is here to help England, not because she loves the country but because they pay well. There is an agent that is trying to get vital information on England’s defense out of the country and she is here to stop it.

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Richard doesn’t believe her at all. She then tells him to look down in the street. When he does he sees a man waiting by the light post looking up trying to see into the apartment!

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Hannay believes Annabella is telling the truth. Annabella is scared and knows that Hannay is now stuck in this mess. That is when she decides to give him her secret.

Annabella Smith: Have you ever heard of the 39 Steps?

Richard Hannay: No. What’s that, a pub?

With that smart aleck reply, Annabella decides to tell him no more, it is all up to her she is the only one who can stop them. Hannay asks her why she doesn’t tell the police, but she points out that they will have the same response he did. She also warns him about how clever the spies are, especially the head agent.

Richard Hannay: Who is he and what is his name?

Annabella Smith: He has a thousand names can look like anyone, only thing he cannot hide is a missing finger.

Richard offers Annabella his bed while he takes he couch. She tells him the only other thing she needs is passage to Scotland, there is a man there who can help her. Richard asks if the 39 Steps are in Scotland, and she tells him they can talk more about it tomorrow.

Majorly

Majorly

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. If you have important info you do not wait until later, you give it now. Whenever people say they will save it for later, they die, and then the others have to try and figure out what they meant.

Every time!

Every time!

That night Anna wakes him up screaming throwing a paper at him. And then she’s dead!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the phone keeps ringing, Hannay wants to answer but doesn’t . He looks out the window and sees the man still waiting outside. He hears everything Anna said in his head again, these men will stop at nothing.

OhNOthisisgonnabebad

He grabs the paper from her dead hand and sees it is a map of Scotland, with an area circled. There is only one thing for Hannay to do, get himself to Scotland.

Hannay takes off the next morning, wearing his hat low to hide identity. He waits in the lobby, running into the milkman. He asks to buy his clothes, saying that he is truing to get away from murderer and spy, but the milkman doesn’t believe him. He then tells him that he spent the night with a married woman, and her brother and husband are waiting to beat him up. They milkman feels sorry for him, and they trade clothes, with Hannay running off to the train The Flying Scotsman, heading to Scotland.

Hannay shares a compartment with three guys. One buys a newspaper when they stop at a station. They read that a woman was murdered in West End near the BBC. There is a picture of the owner of that flat. Luckily, in the picture, Hannay has his hat on low, so it is hard to recognize him.

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Richard walks out of the compartment and heads over to the policeman, thinking about turning himself in, as he didn’t do it he should be proved innocent. Right? Wrong! He hears the police to another person say that the evidence they have is enough to hang the man. Hannay decides to forget that, he wants to live.

He goes back to the train but the spy’s henchmen have caught up with him. He runs into another compartment with a woman, stopping to kiss her. The men pass them by.

He tells her he is in need of help, and that these spies are after him. He asks her to lie and say they are together. But when the men come back, she gives him up.

How rude

They question him, are you Hannay and he says no.

Just then the porter comes in and I just love this scene here so much:

Porter: Are you coming in for tea, Sir?

Richard Hannay: I’ll be right along

Instead of going out the regular door, he then goes right through the exiting door even though the train is still going. Afterwards, he crosses into another compartment and runs down the hall. A great scene done by the master. You have to watch it.

He runs through the dining car, stopping at the pet and luggage, with the henchmen close behind. The engine masters are angry as the henchmen pulled the chain to make the train stop, sure that Hannay jumped out. And he did. He is hiding on the bridge barely hanging on waiting for them to all leave.

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The train leaves, reducing Hannay to be to walking about Scotland. He reaches he circled area and stops at a country house, in the area.  He pretends to be looking for work and asks about newcomers to the area, being told of an Englishmen in town.

As night is coming he asks to stay, paying for food and lodging. There is a young girl at the home, and he thinks it is the old man’s daughter, but she is actually his wife.

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He sits at the table while she cooks dinner.

The wife is from Glasgow and tells him about how nice it is, and you can clearly she misses it. Hannay tells her that he has never been there but London, Montreal, and more. She wnts to know more about London and he answers her questions.

He asks to read the paper, and sees another article on him.

Later during dinner, while the husband is praying, his wife looks at the paper. She figures it out and makes a face to Hannay, then the two then stare at each other. Her husband is a bit worried that they might have done something, so he makes up an excuse and goes outside watching them through the window.

He's creepin' in your windows. He's starin' at your people.

He’s creepin’ in your windows. He’s starin’ at your people.

That night, the wife hears something, getting up and waking Hannay so he can flee. As she is getting him out, the husband gets up. He thought those looks were about getting it on, and he thinks they are trying to get together now. Although Hannay is fully dressed, but you know how jealousy blinds

Hannay tries to explain, but the wife urges him to leave. He says the police are after him and is willing to pay for the man for silence. He agrees to this, telling his wife to put Hannay in the barn. The wife knows the husband will betray him, so she gives Hannay her husband’s dark  coat and Hannay thanks her, running off.

Along came a spider morgan freeman running

The men walk across the moor searching for Hannay. They are having to crawl through the hills and rocks, running like in Invasion of the Body SnatchersAlthough Hannay has to cross gushing streams and rivers.

Hannay flees to the Englishmen’s house, Professor Jordan, asking to come in saying he is from Annabella Smith. He goes in, and when the men later reach the house and ask the maid if Hannay has come by, she tells them there has been no one for half an hour. She lied to help him? Maybe this really is the guy Annabella wanted to see.

Then again I could be wrong.

Then again I could be wrong.

So Annabella’s name gains him access to the house. Professor Jordan in charge asks him to wait a bit as they are celebrating his daughter’s birthday. He introduces Hannay to his wife. Hannay is then introduced to all these movers and shakers in that area of Scotland. Professor Jordan tells him to look at the view, where they see the men searching the river for Hannay.

h party beaks up and the professor locks them in the room. Hannay tells him that Annabella was murdered that is why he came. Professor Jordan asks him why he came to see him, and Hannay tells him how Annabella was coming to warn him about the foreign agent.

Professor Jordan: Did she tell you what he looked ike?

Richard Hannay: There wasn’t time. She did tell me he was missing a finger.

Professor Jordan: Which hand?

Richard Hannay: [holds up left hand] this one I think.

Professor Jordan: Are you sure she didn’t mean this one? [holds up right hand and reveals he is missing his pinky finger.]

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Too bad for Hannay, the professor has been playing him since the beginning. The professor decides tat the only thing to do is kill Hannay. He lives in Scotland as a respected citizen, he can’t have him there starting rumors or saying things against him. Besides he has his information on the defense of England and needs to get it out of the country. He tries to get Hannay to commit suicide, as it is much tidier, butHannay says no so the professor shoots him in the heart.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTT????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

And this was where my DVD died. Is that it? Is he dead???!!!! How could they do that???? Is that all there is????????

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

In the next scene we see out country couple. The husband is searchiung for his hymn book but can’t find it. It was last in his overcoat. Turns out that it stopped a bullet for Hannay.

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Hannay goes to the sheriff telling him everything. The Sheriff eagerly listens and says he will happily help him.

Finally something GOOD!

Finally something GOOD!

Turns out all a lie, the Sheriff just playing him until the henchmen, who he believes agents of the government, come to get him. He tells the sherif to call Scotland Yard in London. but he won’t as they men will be taking him there. Yeah right, they are going to kill him. Hannay manages to get away, breaking through a window and joining a Scotland parade to hide. He then quickly ducks into an assembly hall. They are waiting for their speaker who is running late and assume it is him.

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He sits on the stage he is thrust on. They introduce the professor they are waiting for, and Hanny finds himself on stage.

Richard Hannay: Ladies and gentleman I apologize for my hesitation in rising just now, but to tell you the simple truth I’d entirely failed while listening to the chairman’s flattering description of the next speaker to realize that he was talking about me.

He has no idea what he is supposed to be talking on, and as he is talking, He looks into the crowd and spots the women he used earlier on the train.

He starts asking the crowd what they want to talk about. He grabs onto the topic of the “idle rich” and starts ranting about what he has been through carefully hiding it between political speech.

Richard Hannay: I know what it is to feel lonely and helpless and to have the whole world against me, and those are things that no men or women ought to feel.

It starts a huge momentum as everyone is cheering and wanting to shake his hand, helping him sneak out, but then he is grabbed by the henchmen, lead by the girl.

He asks the girl to help him, telling London the information. The two guys look at each other and decide it is better to be safe than sorry, telling the girl, Pamela, she has to come with them.

They drive to the “police station”, passing it as they are going to another one 40 miles away. We know they aren’t, something Hannay tries to get Pamela to understand that they are taking them to the spy, Professor Jordan, to kill him. They have to stop the car as a huge flock of sheep are in the way. They handcuff Hannay and the girl together, as they go to move the sheep.

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As soon as they are gone, Hannay gets out of there dragging the girl with him. They hide under a bridge, Hannay forcing her to be quiet until the men pass. Lucky it is a foggy night, as the two run through the moors. The girl tries to escape, but Hannay keeps pulling her along.

The two’s dialogue is just amazingly hilarious as they constantly bicker and fight.  Hannay is angry as he has not only told her three times of his innocence, but the men clearly taking them 40 miles “to the police station” and going the wrong way should prove his innocence. But she won’t listen. As she insists he is a murderer Hannay decides to use that to get her to do what he says.

They find an inn, and go inside. Hannay tells the innkeeper that they are man and wife, and he asks for a room and supper. He tells Pamela he has a gun, his finger in his pocket,  which gets her to sign the book for them. She tries to get her away, but he keeps pushing her on with him. Hannay also tells the innkeeper they are a runaway couple, with people after them. People used to elope to Scotland all the time, so the innkeeper doesn’t find it strange but romantic.

Hannay tells Pamela she should take her skirt off as it being wet could make her sick. She refuses, but takes her stockings off, and as they go over to the fireplace, Hannay hangs them up for her.

She doesn’t want to lie on the bed, but Hannay makes her as he is tired, and where he goes she goes. As I said before their conversation are hilarious. He starts making up lies about killing as she thinks he is a murderer. But you can tell they aren’t true as he is being sarcastic. The film is worth watching for the amazing dialogue. I wish I could get a copy of that scene to place here.

I love it

The two go to sleep. The professor/spy leader prepares to move out, and try to take care of this Hannay problem.

Meanwhile, the Pamela has woken up.

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She tries to use the nail file to pick at the lock but when that doesn’t work, squeezes her wrist out, rubbing it raw. She sneaks away and starts downstairs.

She sees the men who she was in the car with and plans to go to them, but overhears them talking on the phone and realizes Hannay is telling the truth about everything, They question the innkeeper about the couple, and before he can answer, his wife comes down and chases them all out.

The girl heads upstairs, feeling sorry for being so mean and cruel to him, when he’s been given a rough break. She goes to the couch and goes to sleep.

The next morning, Hannay finds himself free of the  girl. He is freaked, but sees her on the couch. He asked her why she didn’t leave and she tells him everything she overheard. Hannay starts putting everything together, and is angry that the men didn’t stay the night but left right away. The two rush over to the London Palladium, where the men said they would pick up the “package”.

In London, Pamela goes o Scotland Yard to tell them all the information from Annabella. They don’t really believe it and ask for Mr. Hannay, but she won’t tell him.

No thank youhowaboutno

She rushes out to the Palladium to find Hannay, Scotland Yard detectives behind her. They shut the Palladium down  as they are truing to catch Hannay once and for all.

Through binoculars Hannay sees that the professor is there. Hannay isn’t sure what to do, when he is joined by Pamela. When he hears the tune he has been whistling everywhere. It’s Mr. Memory!

That's it!

That’s it!

He must be the package they are after and want to get rid off. Scotland Yard finds Hannay, arresting him, when he shouts out “What are the 39 Steps? As Mr. Memory answers, the professor shoots him.

The professor tries to flee, but he didn’t know that all the exits were blocked. Hannay asks Mr. Memory about the information, and he reveals that it was a huge job to memorize, plans to build a new ship. After talking a little about them, he dies, and it is all over for Hannay. He is cleared and able to go on his way, now with Pamela in the picture.

TheEnd_Title_2

What a great film. And very under appreciated. You should watch it and love it, as it is amazing.

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To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to A Modern Mummy: Under Wraps (1997)

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For more Alfred Hitchcock films, go to That Place…There’s Queer Things Goes on in There: Jamaica Inn (1939)

For more films based on books, go to They’re Here Already! You’re Next!: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)

We’re Mad Scientists. We’re Monsters: Avengers, Age of Ultron (2015)

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“We’re mad scientists. We’re monsters.”

So I know many of you see this film on this list and are probably thinking to yourself:

Whattheheck

Why would I put an action/adventure, superhero film on my list of horror films? Well I’m including it because of this reason: 1) You have two, not one, TWO scientists who create two, not one, but TWO creatures.

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So I’m sure you all who have been following me know how much I liked The Avengers film that came out two years ago.

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Not me, that’s for sure.

I loved this film and thought it was the best superhero film. It covers a team, but each character was given their own moment to shine. It had great dialogue, amazing scenes, and was just altogether fantastic.

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Now as for the sequel? How did I feel about it.

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I thought it was horrible!!!!!

EW!

And it sucks because I was jazzed about this film. James Spader? Love him in everything! Our dream team, the Avengers? Awesome! Having some X-Men characters finally in it and teasing with a full on cross over? YES!

excited

But then is sucked.

You ruined it!!!!

You ruined it!!!!

And believe me, my opinions based on this film isn’t just from one viewing. I saw it at the midnight showing, I saw it in 3-D the Sunday after with my nephew, and then my friend and I went and saw in June after seeing Jurassic World. Each time I saw it, the more I thought it was just done poorly, 2015’s Godzilla (which strangely, the same actors who were husband and wife in that movie are the Maximoff twins in this one.)

So this is going to be a slightly different review, I will give a brief synopsis and then go on to list why I didn’t like this film.

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

So the film starts with the Avengers taking down what they believe is the last cell of HYDRA out in a small Eastern European country. They are also after the scepter Loki had in the first film. They believe they have accomplished it when they run into two “enhanced creatures” or whatever they call them, Wanda/Scarlet Witch and Pietro/Quicksilver Maximoff. Wanda has the power to manipulate reality, while Pietro can run at super fast speeds.

Marvel's Avengers: Age Of Ultron Quicksilver/Pietro Maximoff (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and Scarlet Witch/Wanda Maximoff (Elizabeth Olsen) Ph: Jay Maidment ©Marvel 2015

Wanda uses her powers to cloud each Avengers mind and mess with their ability to think, espechially Tony Stark. After the defeat, of everyone, (except the Maximoff twins), the team returns home to the tower in New York to have a party and celebrate the end of the Avengers.

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Tony convinces Thor to allow him to study the scepter, believing he can use it to create a robot that will be able to save humanity and keep it safe. He convinces Bruce Banner to assist him. See here is where we have the Frankenstein parallels.

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In Frankenstein, Dr. Frankenstein believed that his work could save humanity: it could bring about immortality, he could save people who’s limbs were lost reanimating dead limbs; etc. Instead he creates a creature, that immediately tries to destroy him. It also has a goal in mind and tries to force Frankenstein into playing his games and doing what he wants. Frankenstein realizes his mistake in trying to take God’s place and create something he has no control over, but it is too late. His creature has decided to destroy not only him, but everything he loves.

With Tony, he believed that his work could save humanity: it would protect them from aliens and any threat too large for humans to handle. Instead he creates a creature, Ultron, that immediately tries to destroy him. It also has a goal in mind and tries to force Tony into playing his games and doing what he wants. Tony realizes his mistake, but it is too late. His creature has decided to destroy not only him, but everything he loves.

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The team has discord and seems to be falling apart, when after a brief pastoral retreat they come back in the game and go after Ultron. They steal the machine he was going to use to create the perfect body, with Tony comes up with a second idea. Use Ultron’s plan, but instead of Ultron, input his best friend/butler, J.A.R.V.I.S.

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So here we have The Bride of Frankenstein parallels.

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In the Bride of Frankenstein, Frankenstein has realized his mistake. Never again will he ever make another creature, but instead be satisfied with what he has already accomplished. Then an old friend, ), comes around and convinces him to make another creature, to be the opposite and balance out the first. Now while Frankenstein knows it is wrong, and has seen how out of control things could get with his first creation, he decides to do it again creating a bride for the creature.

So in this Bruce Banner has realized his mistake in assiting in creating Ultron. Never again will he ever make another creature, but instead be satisfied with what he has already accomplished. But then Tony starts wheedling him, insisting and convincing him to make another creature, to be the opposite and balance out the first. Now while Bruce knows it is wrong, and has seen how out of control things could get with his first creation, he decides to do it again creating a yin to Ultron’s yang, Vision.

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So after the create Vision, they go after Ultron, ending back where the film started; but this time with Vision, Scarlet Witch, & Quicksilver (Wanda and Pietro both choosing to go with the Avengers than Ultron).

The fight to save the world, losing an avenger in the process. Back in New York, the old has gone it’s own way and a new Avenger team is born.

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Now on to the issues.

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1) What an Opening, “What” as in “What is Going On?”

what what'shappeningSupernatural

The first scene was all over the place, in a ton of slow motion, and unrealistically packed with action that I thought they were pulling a Toy Story 2 and it was a video game.

Say What

I mean come on, in that one scene they are practically posing for the camera.

It might have been the drugs I was on for my ear infection, but yeah I legitamitely thought it was some kind of tease, that is how horribly fake looking that beginning is. It didn’t feel like it was happening, but as if you were watching a bad community play. I mean I saw several times where Black Widow should have been shot but “wasn’t”. The fighting in the first one was much better.

Also no context as to what it going on, why are they after Loki’s scepter? Where did it go after the first Avengers film? Now some people might say “if you watch the TV show you’ll know”, but that’s not what a sequel is about. A sequel is created to enhance characters or events from the first film/book, having a progression from the previous to the next. Not suddenly throw everything at you with you like I don’t know what is going on.

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2) Slow Mo needs to Go No Mo’

Stop stop it now!

Honestly Joss Wheedon, the ’90s called, they want their special effects back. But seriously, waaaaaaay tooo much. It looks horrible, it is distracting, and just takes your viewer out of the right state of mind.

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3) Calling Someone Out for Cursing Worth Talking About, But Create an Evil Robot and That’s Just a Moment Thing

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Seriously. This a running joke for everyone, it keeps rearing its ugly head throughout the film. But Tony? They are mad for a nanosecond, and then they move on. Really guys? Really? The Robot is definitely worse and worth discussing.

And he doesn’t make just one thing, but TWO! TWO!!!!!

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4) Enhanced Not Mutated

Marvel's Avengers: Age Of Ultron Quicksilver/Pietro Maximoff (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and Scarlet Witch/Wanda Maximoff (Elizabeth Olsen) Ph: Jay Maidment ©Marvel 2015

I don’t know who’s idea it was to not make them mutants and the children of Magneto, but that was beyond stupid.

THEY ARE MUTANTS NOT ENHANCED MUTANTS!!!!!! And they are Magneto’s children.

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5) Clintasha or Brutasha?

So I did not like Black Widow and Hulk together. I really wanted it to be Black Widow and Hawkeye.

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Now I might not have minded the whole Brutasha if it weren’t for the fact that it came out of left field. Natasha does go get him in the first Avengers film, but that’s all we see of their interactions. There is nothing to suggest anything romantic, and no chemistry between them,  but yet we are expected they are considering running away together?

Girl Please

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6) Visions…I Guess?

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

So what is up with the visions that Scarlet Witch makes. They never really explain her powers in the film so is it magic? Really the future? What?

They also don’t make any sense. For Tony it is his fear, and a bit of the future. Black Widow, a hidden memory, Thor a fear/vision. Captain America? How does what he sees relate to anything?

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7) Tony Pop Culture Allergy?

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So unlike Captain America, Thor, Black Widow, etc. Tony is a HUGE pop culture junkie. Yet when he creates artifical life, he doesn’t even consider how things could go horribly wrong. Wouldn’t he have seen Jurassic Park, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Frankenstein, The Terminator, I Robot, etc? Espechially as three that I just listed involve bad robots? Wouldn’t that make him pause, at least for a moment.

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8) I Leeloo Ultron Robot

The part when Ultron awoke and then starts researching to figure out his purpose and what he’s supposed to do made me think if The Fifth Element.

Ultron’s breakdown around his objective is also very similar to V.I.C.K.I., in I Robot, when she starts killing mankind to save mankind.


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9)Massive Iron Man Vs. Hulk

I feel like someone thought of this and then wrote the script around it. I know everyone thought it was super cool, but I actually thought it was kind of a worthless scene.

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10) Green Acres is the Place to Be

So the whole crew go out to Clint’s farm so that they can regroup and figure out a new plan. To me it seems like a ripoff from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990), when they go to upstate New York to heal and refigure out what to do.

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11) Motorcycle Mama Knows NO Bounds of Gravity

When Ultron tosses the ground at Black Widow and she is able to not only stop in time but turn so she isn’t hurt.

Really?

Really?

Impossible and dumb thing to do. Just no, no.

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12) Copying Captain Underpants

So there was this book series in the early 2000s, Captain Underpants, about two kids, George and Harold, who hypnotize their principal into thinking he is their comic book creation, Captain Underpants.

In the sequel, Attack of the Talking Toilets, George and Harold use the nerdy kid’s  science fair project, a 3D printer, and accidentally bring a giant toilet and his toilet army to life.

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When Captain America isn’t able to stop them, they then create a Giant Robot to battle and destroy the toilets.

Avengers: Age of Ultron is like the same exact plot. Just switch out toilets for Ultron & the robots, and Giant Robot for Vision.

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13) A Death That Didn’t Need to Happen

So people have been complaining that no one really dies in a superhero film, they always come back to life again. This coupled with Joss Wheedon liking to make us cry, meant he was going to kill someone and he killed Pietro.

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That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. The man has SUPER SPEED!!!! You really think he wouldn’t be able to just move around the bullets in time?

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I mean for once Fox did a better job than Disney.

Just so much awesome.

And if they are going to kill him, why not save him in the Stargate cradle thing? Hawkeye used it. And why does he, Cho, and Coulson get to survive?

You know why, because he is just being a pain, like Wes Craven when he killed Randy but let Dewey survive. And you know what Wheedon? Because that was so stupid, I’m going to ignore it.

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Let’s face it, we all know how it should have ended:

So no banner as I couldn’t find a pic that worked right. Instead I’m going to end with those who criticize films best:

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To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to A Giant Metal Man: The Iron Giant (1995)

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For more on The Avengers, go to Avengers Assemble!

For more evil robots, go to She’s Been Totally Different…Like Stepford: Ted, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997)

For more mad scientists, go to Unleash the Savage Instincts that Lie Hidden Within: I Was A Teenage Werewolf (1957)

For more Frankenstein, go to It’s Alive, It’s ALIVE!: Frankenstein (1931)

For more on The Bride of Frankenstein, go to I Want Friend Like Me: The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

For more on sequels, go to It’s Happening Again, Isn’t It?: Scream 2 (1997)

For more How It Should Have Ended, go to I’ll Be Back: The Terminator (1984)

For more CinemaSins, go to Let Them Fight: Godzilla (2014)

 

That Place…There’s Queer Things Goes on There: Jamaica Inn (1939)

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That place – Jamaica Inn. It’s got a bad name. It’s not healthy, that’s why. There’s queer things goes on there.

Alfred Hitchcock, practically everyone knows the King of Suspense.

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But while most know the films The Birds; Psycho, Vertigo, etc: a lot of his earlier films are ignored. So while these may not be everyone’s favorite, these are films I love and enjoy.

Jamaica Inn was the last film Alfred Hitchcock made in the U.K., with him moving to the United States after this picture was completed. While it is not considered one of Alfred Hitchcock’s best films, most people hate it even going as far to state it as his worst, I like it so I’m going to review it.

So the film is based on the historical fiction novel of the same name, written by Daphne du Marier (the same woman who wrote The Birds and Rebecca). Both she and Alfred Hitchcock were very displeased with the end result. Now why did this movie have so many problems? Charles Laughton.

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Now don’t get me wrong. He is a great actor, I mean look at his filmography. However, as he produced this he was able to call a lot of the shots, therefore not allowing Hitchcock to work his usual magic. Laughton changed the character chosen for him, forced Hitchcock to hire Maureen O’Hara, made Hitchcock reveal a twist earlier than planned, etc. It’s hard when someone usurps the director’s power.

But not everyone knows how to wield it.

But not everyone knows how to wield it.

Anyways, I’m going to review, because I like it.

So there! tongue sticking out pug

Now before we get into the review, let’s have a brief history lesson.

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This film takes place in the 1820 and involves a ship wrecking gang. Wrecking was a major economy booster and began as early as the 14th century, ending in the 20th century. Certain areas, such as Cromwell where this film takes place, gangs would cause ships to crash into the rocky shoreline, by either creating false lights or putting out the usual ones.

When the ships crashed, the gangs would then salvage the cargo, sell it, and kill the sailors to hide their crimes. It wasn’t until 1870, that rescuing the sailors brought in a reward.

In order to hide these activities, the wreckers would spread stories about ghost, phantoms, or other supernatural beings existing in the area.

Jamaica Inn is also based on a real inn and pub. It was known for its smugglers, pirates, and ghost stories.

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 So this film starts out with something a bit unusual, a prayer.

“O Lord we pray the–

not that wrecks should happen,

but that if they do happen

Thou wilt guide them–

to the coast of Cornwall,

for the benefit of the

poor inhabitants.

This real prayer for the 19th century shows how prevalent, wrecking/salvaging was.

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So the film starts out with the pirates (as they technically are as they are robbing/plundering ships) putting out the lights at Cromwell’s shore during a huge storm, causing them to crash. The crew go out and salvage everything, leaving no sailor alive.

wolfman dead bodies lots cart

The leader of this group is Joss Merlyn, also owner of Jamaica Inn. He picks the ships, sells the goods, divvies up the profits, and makes sure every man follows his orders. He’s not looking to head for the gallows.

Meanwhile, Mary Yellen is traveling from Ireland to Jamaica Inn.

what strange huh Jamaica Inn Mary Maureen O'Hara

Mary is played by Maureen O’Hara, in her first big role. She’s heading to Jamaica Inn to be with her Aunt Patience as her parents died and she has no where else to go. She’s heading in a cab, when suddenly it starts moving extremely fast and passes Jamaica Inn.

What's going on?

What’s going on?

She tries to get him to stop, but he refuses to listen. He’s afraid of Jamaica Inn, as he’s heard stories of ghosts, pirates, thieves, and worse. Instead he overshoots it by miles, dropping her off in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere.

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Geez, how rude. I mean just living a women stranded in the middle of nowhere in the dark?

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Luckily, she isn’t too far from the Squire’s house, Sir Humphrey. She decides to head down there for help.

Meanwhile, Sir Humphrey is having a big dinner and fancy party for him and his friends.

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Now the Squire loves beautiful things. He’ll spend tons of money on a figurine, a horse, etc. Some of the ladies at the tale are interested in landing him, but they aren’t young or pretty enough for him.

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Mary comes in from the cold and demands to see the Squire for help. Sir Humphrey is annoyed/intrigued at the intrusion sand makes a bet the girl will be ugly. However, when he sees her, he is stunned at her beauty.

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He then tells her to remove her coat:

Gilmore girls creep

I’d be like “heck no!” I’m leaving my clothes on.

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But, she agrees, and he says she looks stunning. That over and done with, she asks him for help to the Inn. Sir Humphrey doesn’t want her to go, as the inn is full of ruffians, no place for a pretty, young girl. He would rather she stay with him.

No thank youhowaboutno

Mary thanks him, but insists on going to the inn to be with her aunt Patience. Sir Humphrey agrees to help, and takes her to the inn.

When they arrive, Joss is creepily staring through the window at Mary.

He's creepin' in your windows. He's starin' at your people.

He’s creepin’ in your windows. He’s starin’ at your people.

She knocks at the door and when he opens it, he sticks a gun in her face.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

Mary quickly tells him who she is, and then Joss tries to flirt with her, asking for a kiss.

I don't think so

Mary starts yelling at him and telling him to watch out, her uncle won’t stand for such rude treatment.

The jerk just laughs, and reveals he is her uncle.

ew! Gross Yuck

Luckily, Patience comes out and stops his attentions for the moment. Mary is shocked when she sees Patience, she used to be so beautiful, but now is a tired, pale, weary, slip of a thing.

What happened to you?

What happened to you?

You can tell by her pinched face that she is emotionally and physically abused by her husband.

Patience is happy to see her, but surprised. Apparently, they never received Mary’s letter telling of her parents death. They bring her in, with Joss making poor Patience carry the whole trunk. Mary goes to help, but Joss says no as he would hate to ruin a lady’s beautiful hands.

ew! Gross Yuck

How could he flirt like that in front of his wife? To her own niece?

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Mary has a fiery temper and yells at him. In return he picks up her trunk and throws it up the stairs, proving his strength. A true test of wills.

Don't mess with me!

Don’t mess with me!

Downstairs the crew are laughing and being rowdy, Joss having Patience take Mary into the kitchen so that she won’t find out what’s going on.

When Harry, Joss’ right hand man, hears of a pretty lady, he tries to go see her and put the moves on her.

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But Joss tells everyone that Mary is hands off, only for him. I mean to his wife’s niece? What a jerk and mega creep.

Certified Creepo Ribbon

Back in the kitchen Mary and Patience are talking. Mary wants Patience to leave Joss, but she won’t. She ran away from him because she loved him, and even though he beats her, she still “loves” him. In reality, she has come to believe she deserves the beating, stuck in that cycle of abuse.

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So back with the pirates.  A recent addition to the team, Jem Trehearne, has been starting a ruckus with the men.

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He believes there is a lot more going on then Joss is saying. He’s been keeping on eye on the merchandise ands how much they’ve received back and it is not adding up right. There is some that is being funneled elsewhere. Jem is also smart enough to realize there is no way Joss could fence these items on his own, there must be someone helping him. But who?

Sounds suspicious

Sounds suspicious

Joss sees how unsettled everyone is, and turns the suspicions back onto the crew; telling the group how easy it could be for one of them to take the product and waylay it, selling it later and keeping the profits. Now we have a witchunt, wtith everyone questioning each other.

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He starts questioning how long each has been with him, coming up to Jem who has only been a part of the group for two months. Jem tries to turn it back to Joss and his mystery partner, but all have turned against him.

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Grab your torches and sharpen your pitchforks!

They seize Jem and search his pockets, finding gold. That settles it, he must hang.

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Before they can get started, Patience interrupts. She never would do such a thing, except Mary has just told her the Squire, Sir Humphrey, gave her a lift to the inn. She’s worried that him being there, he might have seen something.

Spoke too soon

He tells Patience to take Mary up to her room to finish dinner, let’s Harry take care of Jem, and then heads upstairs to a locked room.

Sounds suspicious

Sounds suspicious

And in there is the squire.

Say What

It turns out that Jem was right all along, there is someone else in charge, the squire.

This was an area of the film Hitchcock strongly disagreed with. He wanted to wait until the very end to do one of his famous reveals, us finding out that the Squire, supposed good guy was the real villain. But Laughton was a big star and he wanted more screen time, and as he was also producing the film, what he said went. It is interesting to see Hitchcock as he is starting out and then later on, when his word was the law. Even when it drove his actress crazy, like Tippi Hedren in The Birds.

Anyways, yes the real criminal mastermind is indeed the Squire, Sir Humphrey.

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Don’t let that pompous act fool you. He wines and dines the captains, finding out when ships carrying valuables are coming, sending word to Joss, who then gets the group out there to take care of it. Joss turns the goods over to the Squire, who sells the product taking a hefty cut, and giving the rest to be doled out the crewman. In some ways, this is very similar to Michael Crichton’s book Pirate Latitudes.

So Sir Humphrey is not happy with what he has, he thinks he deserves more.

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Joss disagrees, warning him about the unruly crewman who think they are being created. They were lucky that Jem was a perfect scapegoat, but what if next time they men turn on him?

Them in this case

Them in this case

Squire tells him it doesn’t matter, and he better deal with the problem. They need to refocus as a new ship is coming in tomorrow night with lots of valuables.

Eyes on the prize

Eyes on the prize.

Joss tells Sir Humphrey about Mary, and that he will remove her from the equation. Sir Humphrey disagrees, as he wants Mary to stay, that is until he’s had her.

Mmhm great gatsby

Meanwhile, Jem has been knocked out and tied up. The crew are looking for the right beam to hang him, unknowingly choosing the exact one that lies under Mary’s room.

She overhears them talking about killing Jem, and watches them through a knothole, as they tie him up to the beam. One of the men, Dandy, really likes Jem’s buckles. Instead of waiting to play dice for them, Dandy grabs them and runs off, causing the others to chase him.

Run Away

With them out of the way, Mary takes her knife and starts sawing through the rope, trying to free Jem. After he drops to the ground, she sneaks out of her room and completes untying him. She wakes him up, and he tries to get her to come with him, but she has to stay for her aunt.

However, they quickly discover Jem is gone. Patience figures out that it is Mary.

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and tells her to run. She takes off but soon finds herself about to be caught, when Jem pulls her onto the roof.

How romantic

How romantic

How sweet, he couldn’t leave her behind to face everything on her own.

The two take off for the shore, Jem saying he knows a place they’ll be able to hide for a while.

Joss figures out who let Jem out, and sends everyone in teams to find them and kill them. He then goes to see the Squire to warn him.

Back at the squire’s home, we discover that he isn’t as rich as he’s been pretending to be.

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I also suspect that he suffers from being bipolar or some other disease. They way he switches so quickly from anger to joyful, there’s something disconnected up there.

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It turns out that his Butler is also starting to question what’s going on with the squire, as madness runs in his family.

Joss goes to him worried about what might happen with Jem and Mary, who they will tell. Sir Humphrey tells him to calm down as he is the only justice of the peace in the area. He kicks Joss out and tells him to focus on the ship wrecking.

Eyes on the prize

Eyes on the prize

He continues to yell at Joss, and also tells him to leave Mary alone. That girl is his.

All-Mine

The next day, Mary wakes up in the arms of Jem.

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She is suddenly freaked out as the realization of her choices hits her. She betrayed her family to save a man she doesn’t even know, a thief and pirate. She can never return to her Aunt’s home, all family is lost to her, and all she has is a pirate who could be cruel to her or hurt her.

I don't know what to do

She tries to sneak away, and steal the boat, but wakes Jem up, who is hurt at her not trusting him. I mean after all that you think they would have a bond.

Jem Trehearne: That’s women for you – save your life one minute, frightened of you the next. I guess I’m not a very pretty sight at the moment, but I don’t bite, you know.

While the two are arguing, the boat slips away and they are now stuck in a cave, and high tide will be upon them soon enough.

Reality Sucks

So now they are stuck. And in this scene we have some of the best banter. Jem is totally trying to make light of the situation. Mary, on the other hand, is angry at herself and the fact that everything is going wrong.

Jem Trehearne: Trust me to land myself with a woman. ‘Course, you did save my life.

Mary Yellen: I hope you make better use of it in the future.

Jem Trehearne: That’s a tall order for a desperate character like me.

Mary Yellen: No doubt.

Jem Trehearne: Smuggler and a cutthroat; that gives it.

Mary Yellen: Very likely.

Jem Trehearne: Do you think there’s any hope for me? Tell me, what all am I to do?

Mary Yellen: Anything you please.

Jem Trehearne: Well, I used to be a sailor. I can go back to sea.

Mary Yellen: I’m not in the least interested.

Jem Trehearne: You must be. Don’t forget you’re responsible for me.

Mary Yellen: I am not.

Jem Trehearne: Oh, yes. If weren’t for you I shouldn’t be here at all. You can’t deny that. When we’re safe in Trulo I’ll place myself entirely in your hands.

Mary Yellen: Oh, please be quiet.

I like Jem. I think he is sweet, funny, and pretty adorable while at the same time being a man of action, and having some honor. I wonder how he got mixed up with thieves?

The plot thickens

So while they are talking, they fail to realize that their lost boat has just given away their position. Harry and two other crew members, realize they are in the cave and throw down a rope, inviting them up. They’re trapped. Either they wait in the cave and drown when the high tide comes in. Or they are saved and killed by the pirates.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

But Jem won’t give up. He decides to instead have him and Mary swim to shore. They have a better chance of surviving the stormy sea, then staying in the cave where the men will let them drown or hang them.

They make it to shore, and Jem wants to go to town. Mary changes his mind, by pointing out the Squire’s mansion is so much closer.

Spoke too soon

When they get to the house, they interrupt a dinner with a captain.

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The two come in soaked and telling the squire about what’s going on. Mary is sent upstairs to change into dry things, stopping to ask the squire for clemency for Jem, while Jem is regulated in front of the fire as he is not important. Go ahead and freeze to death or catch the flu and die, you’re not important.

Mr.DarcyMoveAsidepeasants Pride and prejuice

But Jem will not be regulated to the side. He insists on speaking to the squire NOW. In fact he has something very important to show Sir Humphrey.

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His badge.

Say What

Yep Jem is not really a thief, he’s actual a cop and was just undercover trying to bust a ship wrecking ring. Before Sir Humphrey was just going to get rid of him or lock him up, but know that he is a cop with real officers knowing who he is and where he went. It’s time to change the game.

New plan

New plan

Mary overhears and runs over to the Inn to warn Patience, and try and get her to leave, but she won’t go. Soon Jem and Sir Humphrey arrive, Sir Humphrey playing along with Jem; as Jem deduces the how, where, and why of the whole situation. He just needs to figure out who the head man is.

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He tries to persuade Joss to tell. This man is a tyrant that must be brought to justice!

Jem Trehearne: He [the head of the operation] remains aloof content to hire the scum of the coast to do his murderous work for him, thinking there’s no blood on his hands, but there is.

Jem leaves Joss with Sir Humphrey, as he goes to move the women upstairs. While he is gone Sir Humphrey warns Joss that tonight will have to be the last one, it would be best for both to take a little vacation. Then he hands over his gun.

Now think how much more awesome this scene would have been if this was the first time we realized that the Squire was the man they were working for. Hitchcock relly got gypped there. Oh, well.

So the men have heard Jem, and without Sir Humphrey as back up, the two are quickly captured and tied up.

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Joss puts Patience on guard with a gun, while asking Mary along, just in case she had the urge to free Jem again.

Jem puts on a brave face and tries to convince Patience that if she gives up the location of her husband, then it will help him serve less time. Patiene refuses.

No thank youhowaboutno

Sir Humphrey doesn’t even bother talking, getting out of the unknotted knots Joss tied on him and walking right out. After all, he has a ship to catch.

Jem is embarrassed and angry he could be tricked so easily, but continues to try to get Patience to set him free. But Patience says no, she loves Jem.

Laura what I want No good

Eventually something must have worked on her, as the next scene we see Jem free and out to get help.

Meanwhile Mary is out with the crewman. They put the beacon out and wait, but while all are preoccupied, Mary runs out to fix the beacon. She gets in a fight with one of the men, accidentally breaking the beacon and setting her cape on fire. She hangs that up and saves the ship.

The salvagers are very angry!

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Grab your torches and sharpen your pitchforks!

They grab her and start tearing at her clothes, making threats about what they will do. Joss comes into save her, but gets shot by Harry.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Mary manages to get his body to the inn. There Patience is heartbroken and tries to warn Mary that Joss wasn’t the real leader, there is someone worse, when she is shot!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Sir Humphrey shot her as he didn’t want her warning Mary about him. He then goes and ties her up, giving her a hooded cape to hide it, and takes her with him in his carriage.

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So Sir Humprey has completely succumbed to the insanity that runs in his family.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

Jem is not too far behind the two, being able to get the regimental captain that was dining with Sir Humphrey earlier to use his troops to stop the men. They round up the ship wreckers and find the bodies of Joss and Patience. They set out to follow Humphrey’s trail.

At the ship, Sir Humphrey throws Mary inside a cabin. Telling her that she may have wanted to marry some normal, man and have a litter of kids, but that’s not what she should have. She should have the finer things with him.

Sir Humphrey: Good thing you have a man of sensibility, who’d rather see you dead first.

Certified Creepo Ribbon

Before Sir Humphrey can make good on his threats, the regiment arrives. He tries to take Mary as a hostage, but they are prepared to shoot any part of his body they can. In order to escape he climbs up the sails of the ship, choosing to jump off and commit suicide then be taken alive.

Mary is shaken over everything, with Jem taking her and comforting her.

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So was it as amazing as his later work? No. Was it still a good movie? Yes. I thought it was interesting, fun, a tad campy, but still entertaining.

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To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to The Story. We’re Living It. It’s Alive: The Brothers Grimm (2005)

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For more on Alfred Hitchcock, go to The Perfect Murder: Dial “M” for Murder (1954)

For more films based on a book, go to What Have We Done to Each Other?: Gone Girl (2014)

For more on Maureen O’Hara, go to At the End of the Rainbow: 17 More Irish Heroes

 

Part VIII:The Little Movie Line List

MovieQuotes

Yep. it’s time for another My Favorite Movie Lines Lists! Enjoy!

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701)”King Henry VIII: Mistress Anne, will you teach the king of England how they dance in the French court?
Anne: There is nothing that France can teach England, your majesty.
King Henry VIII: Well said. Well said.”–Anne of the Thousand Days (1969)

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702)”Landon: I’m sorry she never got her miracle.
Reverend Sullivan: She did. It was you.”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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703)”Flik: Here, pretend – pretend that that’s a seed.

Dot: It’s a rock.

Flik: Oh, I know it’s a rock, I know. But let’s just pretend for a minute that it’s a seed, alright? We’ll just use our imaginations. Now, now do you see our tree? Everything that made that giant tree is already contained inside this tiny little seed. All it needs is some time, a little bit of sunshine and rain, and voilá!

Dot: This rock will be a tree?

Flik: Seed to tree. You’ve gotta work with me, here. Alright? Okay. Now, y-you might not feel like you can do much now, but that’s just because, well, you’re not a tree yet. You just have to give yourself some time. You’re still a seed.

Dot: But it’s a rock.

Flik: [shouting] I know it’s a rock! Don’t you think I know a rock when I see a rock? I’ve spent a lot of time around rocks!

Dot: You’re weird, but I like you.”–A Bug’s Life (1998)

 

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704)”Princess Fiona: And my groom-to-be Lord Farquaad, what’s he like?
Shrek: Well, let me put it this way, Princess: men of his stature are in “short” supply.
Donkey: Yeah! Though there are those who think “little” of him!–Shrek (2001)

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705)”Jack: You’re gonna pay a disobedience fee of $10,000! Plus another $40,000 to rebuild the bar! And if you wanna see your friend alive again, do not call the cops! If you’re not here in half an hour to settle this, I’m gonna take the fine out on your friend’s legs! I’m gonna break ’em with this tire iron!
Dudley Frank: Don’t bring the money! I’m a computer programmer! I don’t need my legs!
Jack: Fine! I’ll break his hands!
Dudley Frank: Oh, d*** it. Bring the money!”–Wild Hogs (2007)

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706)”Scott: You’re perfect Kate… and so far not flammable.”–John Tucker Must Die (2006)

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707)”Hopper: First rule of leadership: Everything is your fault.”– A Bug’s Life (1998)

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708)”Anne: We had the situation under control.

Teresa: Yeah. We were about to go all Buffy on their gringo a****.”–Man of the House (2005)

 

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709)”Landon: Listen, Jamie, I was hoping we could run lines together?
Jamie: Okay, but just not so anybody knows, right?
Landon: Well I just figured we could surprise everyone with how good I get.
Jamie: Like we could be secret friends.
Landon: Exactly, exactly it’s like you’re reading my mind.
Jamie: Great umm… maybe you could read mine.
[she gives him a cold glare and turns away]”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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710)”Terry: You know, sometimes I just wish I was a guy.

Buddy: No, you don’t! The male body needs sex at all times! It’s a living hell!”–Just One of the Guys (1985)

 

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711)”Queen Gorgo: There’s only one woman’s words that should affect the mood of my husband. Those are mine.” –300 (2006)

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712)”Lord Farquaad: Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.”–Shrek (2001)

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713)”Anne: No, he means the other Texas Rangers, you know, like The Lone Ranger.

Heather: He had that cool Indian friend, what was his name?

Teresa: Tonto?

Barb: He was hot! Why don’t guys wear loincloths anymore?”–Man of the House (2005)

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714)”Constance MacKenzie: All men are alike. The approach is different; the result is always the same.”–Peyton Place (1957)

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715)”Lucius: Always giving orders. Just like every other adult.”–Planet of the Apes (1968)

 

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716)”Ernst Robinson: It’s better to use your head than break your back, I always say.”–Swiss Family Robinson (1960)

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717) “Guinevere Pettigrew: Not everything comes along just when we want it. There are times when decisions just have to be made, or you certainly will miss out.”–Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (2008)

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718)”[teaching Dizzy how to fight]
Clem: First thing you wanna do is gouge the dude’s eyes out.
Luther: Hey, it’s just kids in high school.
Clem: Oh. So you’re gonna want to fight dirty. “–The New Guy (2002)

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719)”Tuck: You fired!

Roll: You fired!

Tuck: You fireeeeeed!”–A Bug’s Life (1998)

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720)”Terry: I’m just so confused.

Buddy: Of course you’re confused. You’re wearing my underwear.”-Just One of the Guys (1985)

 

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721)”Wayne Campbell: [after Ben orders Chinese food while speaking Cantonese] This guy is good.
Benjamin: I picked up a little Cantonese while I was in the Orient. You know, you sound a lot like you’re from Kowloon Bay as opposed to Hong Kong.
Cassandra: I was born in Kowloon Bay!
Benjamin: There you have it!
Wayne Campbell: This guy is really good.”–Wayne’s World (1992)

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722)”Shrek: Example… uh… ogres are like onions!
[holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs]
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes… No!
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry?
Shrek: No!
Donkey: Oh, you leave ’em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin’ little white hairs…
Shrek: [peels an onion] NO! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.”–Shrek (2001)

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723)”Terry McKay: Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories…”–An Affair to Remember (1957)

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724)”Mrs. Thornton: A person doesn’t always get what she deserves. Remember it. If there’s anything in life you want, go and get it. Don’t wait for anybody to give it to you.”–Peyton Place (1957)

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725)”Guinevere Pettigrew: I am not an expert on love, I am an expert on the lack of love, Delysia, and that is a fate from which I wish more fervently to save you.”–Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (2008)

 

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726)”Alex Whitman: This morning I couldn’t decide between a hamburger and a tuna melt. But my life made perfect sense. Now I know exactly want I want, but my life makes no sense. Somewhere between tuna melt and your aunt’s tamales, life lost meaning and gained a purpose.
Isabel Fuentes: What are you saying?
Alex Whitman: I am saying- This is morning I was worried I’d met the girl of my dreams at the drycleaners and not recognize her. But you- you are what I never knew I always wanted.”–Fools Rush In (1997)

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727)”Dizzy/Gil: Don’t make me do crazy eyes…”–The New Guy (2002)

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728)”Loretta Lynn: [Loretta catches Doo with another woman] Woman, if you want to keep that arm, you better get it off my husband.

Girl at fairgrounds: Who are you telling what?

Loretta Lynn: I don’t know who you are, but I know what you are.”–Coal Miner’s Daughter (1980)

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729)”Dizzy/Gill:The onIy music worth being called music. I’m talking about the funk.–The New Guy (2002)

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730)”Lonny: Drew… what’s the name of your band, mate?
Drew Boley: Wolfgang Von Colt.
Lonny: …and you’re sticking with that are you?
Drew Boley: Yeah…
Lonny: [to audience] Please welcome to the stage very poorly titled Wolfgang Van Colt!
Drew Boley: …Von Colt.
Lonny: [to Drew] It’s not an improvement.”–Rock of Ages (2012)

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731)”Interviewer: Do you have a criminal record?
Rocky Balboa: Nothin’ worth braggin’ about.”–Rocky II (1979)

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732)”Novalee Nation: You tell them that our lives can change with every breath we take… and tell ’em to hold on like hell to what they’ve got: each other, and a mother who would die for them and almost did… You tell them we’ve all got meanness in us, but we’ve got goodness too. And the only thing worth living for is the good. And that’s why we’ve got to make sure we pass it on.”–Where the Heart Is (2000)

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733)”Reporter: Where did you get the name, “The Italian Stallion”?
Rocky: Oh I made that up one night while I was eating dinner.”–Rocky (1976)

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734)”Henry Tilney: Now I must give you one smirk, then we can be rational again.”–Northanger Abbey (2007)

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735)”Willy Jack Pickens: Why does anyone lie? Cuz we’re scared? Or crazy? Or jut mean?… There’s a million reasons why a person lies… But sometimes, you tell a lie so big… that it changes your whole life… Lie’s so big… it makes you think…”–Where the Heart Is (2000)

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736)”Ben Calder: If I kiss you, do you think they’ll shoot me?
Anna Foster: No, but I will if you don’t.”–Chasing Liberty (2004)

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737)”Donkey: You know, not everybody like onions. What about cake? Everybody loves cake!
Shrek: I don’t care what everyone else likes! Ogres are not like cakes.
Donkey: You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, “Let’s get some parfait,” they say, “H*** no, I don’t like no parfait”? Parfaits are delicious!”–Shrek (2001)

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738)”Grandma Halley: First loves are never really over. Nobody’s perfect, Sweetheart. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while.”–How to Deal (2003)

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739)”Henry Tilney: No! The discourtesy was all his. I-I have broken with my father, Catherine, I may never speak to him again.

Catherine Morland: What did he say to you?

Henry Tilney: Let me instead tell you what I said to him. I told him that I felt myself bound to you, by honor, by affection, and by a love so strong that nothing he could do could deter me from…

Catherine Morland: From what?

Henry Tilney: Before I go on, I should tell you there’s a pretty good chance he’ll disinherit me. I fear I may never be a rich man, Catherine.

Catherine Morland: Please, go on with what you were going to say!

Henry Tilney: Will you marry me, Catherine?

Catherine Morland: Yes! Yes I will! Yes!–Northanger Abbey (2007)

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740)”Old Woman: [watching Shrek fight] The chair! Give him the chair!”–Shrek (2001)

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741)”Leland: You don’t care about anything except you. You just want to persuade people that you love ’em so much that they ought to love you back. Only you want love on your own terms. Something to be played your way, according to your rules.”–Citizen Kane (1940)

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742)”J.P. Prewitt: The truth is male models have been assassinating world leaders for over 200 years. Abe Lincoln wanted to abolish slavery, right? Well, who do you think made the silk stockings and powdered wigs worn by our early leaders?
Derek Zoolander: Mugatu!
J.P. Prewitt: [pauses] Slaves, Derek. So they hired John Wilkes Booth to do Mr. Lincoln in. The first model/actor! Dallas. 1963. John F. Kennedy.
Matilda: Lee Harvey Oswald wasn’t a male model.
J.P. Prewitt: You’re ******* right he wasn’t, but the two lookers who capped Kennedy from the Grassy Knoll sure as s*** were!”–Zoolander (2001)

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743)”Annie Reed: Destiny is something we’ve invented because we can’t stand the fact that everything that happens is accidental.”–Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

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744)”Novalee Nation: It’s too late, isn’t it, Forney?

Forney Hull: Too late for what?

Novalee Nation: I lied to you, when you asked me if I loved you, and I said no. Remember?

Forney Hull: Yes.

Novalee Nation: I lied. It wasn’t true, I-I love you. It’s just I lied because I thought you deserved something better.

Forney Hull: Something better than you? Novalee, there isn’t anything better than you.

[they kiss]”–Where the Heart Is (2000)

Where the Heart is

 

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745)”Catherine Morland: When shall we go into society, Mrs Allen? I suppose it is too late this evening?

Mrs. Allen: Bless you, my child, we neither of us have a stitch to wear!

Catherine Morland: I did bring my best frock and my pink muslin is not too bad, I think.

Mrs. Allen: No, no, no, no! Would you have us laughed out of Bath?

Mr. Allen: Resign yourself, Catherine! Shops must be visited! Money must be spent! Do you think you could bear it?

Catherine Morland: Very easily, sir!”–Northanger Abbey (2007)

 

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746)”Jack Colton: What did you do, wake up this morning and say, ‘Today, I’m going to ruin a man’s life’?”–Romancing the Stone (1984)

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747)”Chiron: Percy, take this to defend yourself. It’s a powerful weapon. Guard it well. Only use it in times of severe distress.
Percy Jackson: This is a pen. This is a *pen.*”–Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightening Thief (2010)

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748)”Ruth Meyers: My name is Ruth Meyers. Call me Ruth Meyers.”–Where the Heart is (2000)

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749)”[Riding in the curricle, Henry and Catherine see the first view of Northanger Abbey]

Henry Tilney: There.

Catherine Morland: It’s exactly as I imagined. It’s just like what we read about.

Henry Tilney: Are you prepared to encounter all of its horrors?

Catherine Morland: Horrors? Is Northanger haunted, then?

Henry Tilney: That’s just the least of it. Dungeons, and sliding panels; skeletons; strange, unearthly cries in the night that pierce your very soul!

Catherine Morland: [sardonically] Any vampires? Don’t say vampires. I could bear anything, but not vampires.

Henry Tilney: [laughing] Miss Morland, I believe you are teasing me now.”–Northanger Abbey (2007)

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750)”Patricia: I love you more than all the words in all the books in all the world.”–Why Did I Get Married? (2007)

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751)”Tiresias: It is the journey itself that makes up your life.”–The Odyssey (1997)

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752)”Lexie Coop: Americus? What kind of a name is Americus?

Novalee Nation: I wanted her to have a strong name.

Lexie Coop: Well, I guess I shouldn’t talk. I named my kids after snack foods: Brownie, Praline, Cherry and Baby Ruth.”–Where the Heart Is (2000)

 

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753)”Sam Baldwin: What is “tiramisu”?
Jay: You’ll find out.
Sam Baldwin: Well, what is it?
Jay: You’ll see!
Sam Baldwin: Some woman is gonna want me to do it to her and I’m not gonna know what it is!”–Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

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754)”Judge Dredd: Judgement time.”–Dredd (2012)

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755)”[Jack takes Joan’s shoes and breaks the heels off so she can hike through the forest]

Joan Wilder: These were Italian.

Jack Colton: Now they’re practical.”–Romancing the Stone (1984)

 

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756)”Thelma ‘Sister’ Husband: Home is where your history begins. Home is where they catch you when you fall.”–Where the Heart Is (2000)

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757)”Larry Zoolander: I just thank the Lord she didn’t live to see her son as a mermaid.
Derek Zoolander: Mer-man! [high-pitched cough] Mer-man!”–Zoolander (2001)

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758)”Becky: That’s your problem! You don’t want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie.”–Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

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759)”Jem Trehearne: That’s women for you – save your life one minute, frightened of you the next. I guess I’m not a very pretty sight at the moment, but I don’t bite, you know.”–Jamaica Inn (1939)

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760)”[after reading Joan’s new novel based on her adventure]

Gloria: Joanie, you are now a WORLD-CLASS hopeless romantic.

Joan Wilder: No, hopeful. Hopeful romantic.”–Romancing the Stone (1984)

 

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761)”Data: Hey McFly, you bojo, those boards don’t work on water!”–Back to the Future Part II (1985)

Hoverboards

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762)”Shrek: [Burps] Better out than in, I always say.”–Shrek (2001)

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763)”Jamie: How can you see places like this… and have moments like this and not believe?
Landon: You’re lucky to be so sure.
Jamie: It’s like the wind. I can’t… see it, but I feel it.”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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764)”Richard Hannay: I know what it is to feel lonely and helpless and to have the whole world against me, and those are things that no men or women ought to feel.”–The 39 Steps (1935)

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765)”Americus: Forney, if you give a cow chocolate will you get chocolate milk?

Forney Hull: Yeah. And if you spin a cow around real fast you’ll get whipped cream.

Americus: Wow! You know a lot.

Forney Hull: Well, I work in the library.”–Where the Heart Is (2000)

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766)”May: Love is many things. It’s varied. One thing it is not and can never be is unsure.”–Madea’a Family Reunion (2006)

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767)”Prince John: And why should the people listen to you?
Robin Hood: Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent.–Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

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768)”Marty McFly: Great Scott!
Doc: I know, this is heavy”–Back to the Future Part III (1990)

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769)”Dizzy/Gil: Did we give up when Pearl Harbor was bombed?
Football player #72: Hey, I thought that movie made money.”–The New Guy (2002)

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770)”Mark Darcy: I don’t think you’re an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother’s pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever’s in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences… But the thing is, um, what I’m trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are.”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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771)”Suze: Fluent in Finnish?
Rebecca Bloomwood: Everyone has fudged their resume a little.”–Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009)

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772)”Donkey: All right, nobody move! I’ve got a dragon and I’m not afraid to use it! I’m a donkey on the edge!”–Shrek (2001)

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773)”[a leaf falls in front of one of the worker ants in the food lineWorker Ant #1: I’m lost! Where’s the line? It just went away. What do I do? What do I do?

Worker Ant #2: Help!

Worker Ant #3: We’ll be stuck here forever!

Mr. Soil: Do not panic, do not panic. We are trained professionals. Now, stay calm. We are going around the leaf.

Worker Ant #1: Around the leaf. I-I-I don’t think we can do that.

Mr. Soil: Oh, nonsense. This is nothing compared to the twig of ’93.”–A Bug’s Life (1998)

 

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774)”Richard Hannay: There are 20 million women in this island and I get to be chained to you.”–The 39 Steps (1935)

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775)”Doc: No one should know too much about their destiny.”–Back to the Future Part II (1989)

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776)”Rebecca Bloomwood: Men like you are the reason I left Finland.”–Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009)

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777)”Shrek: Fiona? Are you all right?
[Fiona looks at herself, and sees she is still an ogre] Princess Fiona: Yes. But, I don’t understand. I’m supposed to be beautiful.
Shrek: But you are beautiful.”–Shrek (2001)

PrettySoul

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778)”Sam Baldwin: I am NOT going to New York to meet some woman who could be a crazy, sick lunatic! Didn’t you see Fatal Attraction?”–Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

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779)”Dr. Harris: I blew it didn’t I? Why didn’t I concur?”–Catch Me If You Can (2002)

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780)”Derek Zoolander: What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read… if they can’t even fit inside the building?–Zoolander (2001)

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781)”Sherrie Christian: I’m a stripper at the Venus Club.
Drew Boley: I’m in a boy band.
Sherrie Christian: You win.”–Rock of Ages (2012)

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782)”Mable ‘Madea’ Simmons: I told you, you don’t know how to lie. What kinda lawyer don’t know how to lie? Lie and lawyer go together lie-awyer… lie-awyer!”–Madea’s Family Reunion (2006)

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783)”Landon: Jamie has faith in me. She makes me want to be different, better.”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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784)”Derek Zoolander: I’m sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.”–Zoolander (2001)

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785)”Batiatus: Good luck, and may fortune smile upon… most of you.”–Spartacus (1960)

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786)”Manny: Utilizing psychic vibrations, I shall select the perfect volunteer.

Molt: Oh, oh, oh, oh! Pick me! Oh, oh! C’mon, I’m asking you with my brain.”–A Bug’s Life (1998)

 

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787)Frank Abagnale Jr.: [whispering to girl] Hey…You should fold it.
Joanna: What?
Frank Abagnale Jr.: That note. It’s a fake, right? You should fold it.
Joanna: It’s… It’s a note from my mom. I have a doctor’s appointment.
Frank Abagnale Jr.: Yeah, but there’s no crease in the paper. When your mom hands you a note to miss school, the first thing you do is, you fold it and you put it in your pocket. I mean, if it’s real, where’s the crease? [Joanna folds note to give it a crease.]–Catch Me if You Can (2002)

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788)”Angela: They’re just so sneaky that you think it was your idea.
Frances: Yeah. You’re sitting back and you’re like: “Oh, yeah. This my idea. But wait a second, why am I alone? Why am I unhappy?”
Angela: “Why have I gained 20 pounds?”
Frances: They Jedi mind-trick you. “–He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

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789)”J.P. Prewitt: Male models don’t think for themselves.
Derek Zoolander: That’s not true!
J.P. Prewitt: Yes it is, Derek.
Derek Zoolander: [meekly] Okay.”–Zoolander (2001)

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790)”Alex: I dunno… I like you
Gigi: [She’s taken aback] You do?
Alex: Well, yeah, okay, don’t start doodling my name on your binder, okay.”–He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

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791)”Capt. Crewe: Because it’s magic. Magic has to be believed. It’s the only way it’s real.”–A Little Princess (1995)

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792)”African Woman #1: I’m sure he just forgot your hut number!
African Woman #2: Or was eaten by a lion.
African Woman #3: You guys are awesome!”–He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

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793)”Stoney: Bud-dy!”–Encino Man (1992)

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794)”Gigi: I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You’ve think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an a** of yourself that way but you don’t fall in love that way either. You have not won. You’re alone. I may do a lot of stupid s*** but I’m still a lot closer to love than you are.”–He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

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795)”Mugatu: SHUT UP! Enough already, Ballstein! Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ’s sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They’re the same face! Doesn’t anybody notice this? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? You’ve done nothing! NOTHIIIING!”–Zoolander (2001)

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796)”Sara Crewe: I am a princess. All girls are. Even if they live in tiny old attics. Even if they dress in rags, even if they aren’t pretty, or smart, or young. They’re still princesses. All of us.”–A Little Princess (1995)

Princess

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797)”Von Luger: Are all American officers so ill-mannered?

Hilts: Yeah, about 99 percent.

Von Luger: Then perhaps while you are with us you will have a chance to learn some. Ten days isolation, Hilts.

Hilts: CAPTAIN Hilts.”–The Great Esacape (1963)

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798)”Gigi: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope. “–He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

film-strip-799)”Bridget: It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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600)”Scott Calvin: Hey, Charlie, you know how to call 911?

Charlie: Sure, 9-1-1.”–The Santa Clause (1994)

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For the previous list, go to Part VII: It Was Said One Night

For more on A Bug’s Life, go to CANDY TIME!

For more on A Walk to Remember, go to Fulfilling the List

For more on Back to the Future, go to Fashion Show

For more on Bridget Jones’ Diary, go to The Beauty of Darcy

For more on Catch Me If You Can, go to 25 Films of Christmas

For more on Confessions of a Shopaholic, go to Episode V: My Favorite Movie Lines Strike Back

For more on Dredd (2012), go to Na-Na-Na-(Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na)

For more on Fools Rush In, The Swiss Family Robinson, and The Odyssey, go to Snakes on a Post

For more on He’s Just NOT That Into You, go to You’re My Exception

For more on Northanger Abbey, go to The Lining is Silver

For more on Rock of Ages, go to Don’t Stop Believin’

For more on Rocky, go to There’s No One Like Gaston

For more on Shrek, go to Episode IV: A New Favorite Movie Lines List

For more on Sleepless in Seattle, go to Anything Can Happen

For more on The Santa Clause, go to On the 11th Day ‘Til Christmas

For more on Wayne’s World, go to Episode III: Revenge of the My Favorite Movie Lines List

For more on Where the Heart Is, go to Forney Hull

For more on Wild Hogs, go to Sucky Sequels

For more on Zoolander, go to It’s Back:The Sequel