It’s A Fan World After All

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Yes the fangirl posts have returned!!!

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We had to take a break with the 30 Day Challenge of August, but now that it has ended, every Sunday with be a fangirl countdown post. At least for September, when October comes it is all about the Horror films, so we will have to take a break once again.

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Dr. Seuss

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Ah Dr. Seuss. There is so much to say, but no words exist to describe how much I love you Dr. Seuss and all your works. You were such an amazing writer and such a HUGE part of my childhood.

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I’m not going to write about every book, as that would be too much, but instead going to talk about my three favorite books.

The Cat in the Hat– Too iconic to pass by. Such a cute book about the consequences of our actions, and who can’t love that adorable Cat?

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Bartholomew and the Oobleck– In this book, the sequel to Bartholomew and His 500 Hats, Barthlomew is living in the castle and life is doing good. That is until the King wants something different from the sky. He’s tired of rain, snow, sunshine, etc. He gets his magic men to create something new, Oobleck. It is kind of a Frankenstein of the sky, a story on how you should never try to be “bigger than your britches”, and absolutely adorable.

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The Sneetches & Other Tales-Some of the Sneetches have stars on their bellies and some do not. Those with Stars think they are better than all the others. When a man comes to town who promises that for a great deal, he can give the starless Sneetches stars; they pay up. Now the orginals are upset and pay to get their’s removed. This becomes an endless cycle until all the Sneetches’ money is gone and no one knows who was orginally born first stars and who wasn’t. A great tale about being happy being you, and that no one is better than others because of their looks.

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And my all time favorite!!!! The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. I used to read this story over and over and over again, as I just loved that grumpy grinch. One year I ate a ton of a certain type of cereal just to send away for a special Grinch keychain. Sadly, I lost it though in one of my moves. The Grinch hates Christmas and decides to destroy and end the holiday, ruining the holiday for all the Whos. However, the Grinch finds out what the true spirit of christmas is, whether he wants to or not.

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For more Dr. Seuss, go to Speed Racer

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James Bond

What can I say? I’m a Bond girl (fan not film star). Aw James Bond. Where to start?

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Whenever I think of Bond the first thing that comes to mind is my brother. He was a HUGE James Bond fan and we used to watch the movies together when I was younger. Of course I could only watch them on TV and had to leave at certain points, (when he began to get it on with a lady). I remain a fan today and have seen every single film with Bond, James Bond.

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My favorite Bonds are without a doubt Sean Connery (the first and the all-time best), Timothy Dalton (the handsomest of them all), and Pierce Brosnan (cool and elegant).

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Jimmy Stewart

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Aw James “Jimmy” Stewart. One of my all-time favorite actors. It started with a few movies, then I read a biography, and before you knew it: I WAS Obsessed.

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Let’s start with the fact that he is tall, dark, and handsome.

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The kindest and most adorable man ever!

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Not to mention being the first actor to sign up for WWII, choosing to fight for his country rather than live in privilege as other suffered.

He’s perfect!

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I love all his work, but if I talked about them all it would take way, way, way too long. Now which one should I pick? I mean he was in Westerns, Comedies, Drama, Alfred Hitchcock films, Mysteries: his screenography is a little bit of everything. How can I pick a favorite out of so many, many cinematic masterpieces? I can’t it’s too hard. So I’m going to pick a few, and I promise just a few.

After the Thin Man

This sequel to The Thin Man is the only film Jimmy Stewart was in that was radically different from any role he has ever played. After the Thin Man has Detective Nick Charles and his wealthy wife Nora, back in her home town of San Francisco. There they stumble onto a murder and try to save their friend from going to jail, believing in her innocence. Jimmy Stewart plays a secondary character, but steals the scene in one of his earliest roles

Mr Smith Goes to Washington
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This film was supposed to be a sequel to Mr. Deeds Goes to Town, but when Gary Cooper was unable to reprise his role; it became a film about an ordinary, sweet, guy being chosen as a senator and going to capital hill to shake up the greed and corruption. This film is the essence of Stewart’s own beliefs and one incredibly powerful film.

It’s A Wonderful Life

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I’ve already written on this film three times- twice for my Valentine’s Day posts and for one of my Christmas countdowns. This film is just amazing as it shows the complete stretch of Stewart’s talent. A man who has only ever wanted to leave his town, but finds himself constantly being stuck there. He goes through incredible obstacles, with one ultimately bad day causing him to wish he had never been born. When his wish is granted, he discovers that everyone’s life would be way worse without him. Let me tell you, there is a reason why this film has been parodied, remade, and referenced in film and television.

The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance

Probably one of the best Westerns of all time, it stars John Wayne and Jimmy Stewart. Jimmy Stewart is Ransom, a lawyer from the East intent on bringing justice and civility to the West. He encounters Liberty Valence, a horrible outlaw, and has to contend with his own morals on whether he should continue the lawful way, or follow the way of the territories, taking justice into his own hands. He is just amazing in it!

Those are all I’m going to pick as it was hard enough choosing those four, and I don’t want to be writing for the next year on why he is so amazing.

For more Jimmy Stewart, go to Hunk-a-Thon

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Psych

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I love, love love Psych, I am so sad it ended.

Why? Why!

Why? Why!

It was soooooo amazing!!! Why is it over?

Under Capricorn Aah oh no ugh

I remember the very first promo for this show.

I was watching Monk at the time and dabbled in a few The Dead Zone episodes, but this new show Psych? I just wasn’t sure. Then one day it was re-airing that week’s episode Shawn (and Gus) of the Dead (season 2 episode 16). In this a supposed Mummy comes back to life. I found the show absolutely hilarious and started watching it all the time. That is until they mentioned the last season. I stopped watching as I didn’t want it to end right away.

Last year, I decided it was time and completely went on a spree watching every episode ever, through my computer and Netflix.

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I just love this show so much. Why did it have to end? I mean it just gets me. From the love of ’80s, film references, music, comedy: ah I just adore it so, so, so darn much. *sigh* WHY, WHY, WHY did it have to go?

Why? Why!

Why? Why!

So the show is about Shawn Spencer (James Roday) who is just your average guy, except for one thing. He has a photographic memory. His father was a cop and honed a thousand such skills, like psychology of body language, how to detect liars, etc in him. He rebelled from his father and left his home of Santa Barbara, CA to travel all over. When he returns, he is able to solve tons of crimes just from watching the news reports. When the cops get suspicious on how he is doing it, thinking he is actually committing some of these crimes, he lies and says he is a psychic. Soon he has roped his best friend since childhood, Burton “Gus” Guster into being a part of his crime solving crew, and the duo become consultants for the SBPD (Santa Barbara Police Department). Now a lot of my favorite characters I have actually posted about in my 2014 Saint Patrick’s Day post, At the End of the Rainbow: 17 More Irish Heroesbut I’m still going over my favorite characters anyway.

Shawn Spencer

Shawn Spencer

Shawn can be a jerk, childish, selfish, and a bit whiney at times; but all in all he is one pretty cool guy. He may be a goofball, but he is also highly intelligent, passing the detective test 100% at age 15, often feeling that things are too easy for him. He has great taste in films and music, making all these references that I absolutely adore. While he often uses Gus; his money, car, etc; he cares for his friend and would do anything for him. As the series progresses, Shawn matures; refraining from his previous extreme narcissistic tendencies. He and Juliet start dating in the last few seasons, this relationship really changing his childish ways, but not too much, as Juliet’s level-head and stable life works really well with Shawn.

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Burton “Gus” Guster

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Gus and Shawn have been best friends forever. He is smart, intelligent, and typically the saneer one of the two. After high school he went to college and became a pharmaceuticals rep, doing quite well for himself. When Shawn returned from his adventures, Gus was quickly swept up into his quirky ways. Out of the two, Gus is the researcher, planner, bill payer: i.e. responsible. While Shawn solves the crimes, Gus is the one who typically comes up with the information that is key to solving it. He is hilarious and adorable, the perfect balance in all that is Shawn and Gus.

Juliet “Jules” O’Hara

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Jules is the young police officer who moves from Miami to Santa Barbara when Carlton Lassitar’s old partner is transferred. Jules may be a very pretty, bubbly, sweet, rainbow-sunshine kind of girl; but she is not just bubbles and fizz, but also a very deep and intelligent person.

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She has scored the highest on the detective test (second to photographic memory Shawn), beating Carlton Lassitar. She also is fluent in Spanish, due to her time in Miami. While she is gentle and sweet, she can be gruff and unmoving when she needs to be; holding her own and not allowing anyone to walk over her. She and Shawn Spencer end up getting together and her stability and his goofiness work well together.

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Carlton Lassiter

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Now I have a huge TV crush on Carlton Lassiter, its a little hard not to. He is pretty awesome and handsome (played by Timothy Omundson). Carlton is a strictly by the book kind of guy; SB law, the Constitution, NRA, etc. He is a great cop, a bit old fashioned, but stubborn, persistent, etc. He is a huge Clint Eastwood fan, wishing he could be Dirty Harry or Tom Highway. He also loves Westerns and wants to be a modern day cowboy. He is a huge Civil War history buff and takes part in reenactments. He knows how to shoot like every type of gun and has built up a immunity to chloroform.

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However, the best thing about him is how strongly he throws himself into relationships. He does everything he can to try and work things out with his ex-wife (really not wanting to get a divorce). True he did cheat on her with his old partner, but they had been separated for quite some time and she was porking around with someone else. (Doesn’t make it right but it is understandable). However, the best thing was when his girlfriend was arrested and imprisoned (she stole blood from a blood bank for her sick brother), he went and visited her every time he was allowed to. Nothing kept him from being there or true to her. He also did everything he could to free her from the jail. So sweet! 🙂

And who can forget the amazing singing done on this program?

Or this?

Or this?

Or this?

One absolutely awesome show.

For more on Psych, go to Tuesday the 17th: Psych (2009)

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Ray Bradbury

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I love Ray Bradbury. He is one of my all-time favorite writers. He is just so amazing and his work unbelievable.

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So I first was introduced to him through the film Fahrenheit 451, a dystopian future film.

It’s a powerful film and when my mother told me it was based on a book, I was like I HAVE to read that. I did, and I loved it!

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The story is set in the future. All people are really concentrated are on reality shows, entertainment that mean nothing, and no one reads (sound familiar?). In fact the firemen jobs are not to put out fires, but to burn books and libraries. Guy Montag is a fireman that has started to wonder about the books. He picks one and starts reading it.

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And before you know it he is hooked. Stealing books and hiding them all over his house.

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His neighbor also gets him interested in thinking outside the box and about real things. However, it’s not long before he is found out and has to go on the run, hoping to find the place where people become books. That is they have memorized one book completely and recite it, so that it may never be lost. Oh I love this book so much and read it over and over and over.

Or 10th, 50th, 100th....

Or 10th, 50th, 100th….

He wrote many other novels and short stories, some of which were turned into episodes for Alfred Hitchcock Presents and The Twilight Zone. Out of his other books, my favorites are The Illustrated Man, in which a man is covered in tattoos, each telling a story. They range from funny, thoughtful, and downright creepy. Children talking to aliens and planning on taking over the world, a man getting a copy of himself so he “can have fun” only for the marionette to want to completely take over his life, and more. The Machineries of Joy, mushrooms really being alien spores trying to take over you, priests going to space, etc. And The Martian Chronicles, a collection about the colonization of Mars. They are just amazing.

And these are just a few, there are a ton more of his stories and novels, I haven’t been able to even read them all yet.

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For more on Ray Bradbury, go to Heaven on Earth

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Fandom

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For the previous post, go to Fans and the Furious

And Stay tuned for part 17

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For more bookish posts, go to To Win a Part of My Heart

 

Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart

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Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart by Beth Pattillo

Have you ever had a book and had a bad feeling about it?

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Either you check it out from the library, unwrap it, or pick it up in the bookstore and you just know that this book is not going to be something you enjoy.

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Well that’s how I felt about this book. In fact I borrowed it from the library months ago, but just couldn’t bring myself to read it. Eventually I couldn’t renew it any longer and had to read it.

So I started the book out and I actually was enjoying it.

WHAT!

WHAT! MUST KEEP READING

But then I got to the end where it all fell apart and I hated it.

I dont like it 11

So what went wrong?

So the book starts out Claire Prescott. Claire is in her thirties and from Kansas City. She is in a lackluster relationship with Neil,a  sports fanatic, and has recently lost her job when her sister calls in with a favor. After Claire’s parents died, she became the soul caregiver for her sister, forgoing college and other young adult dreams. Even now she is always caring for her sister, no matter that she is married and pregnant with her second child. Anyway, when her sister is put on bed-rest and can’t attend a special Pride & Prejudice seminar to give her paper, Claire steps up to the plate.

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Only one problem. Claire has never read anything Jane Austen, and the only thing she knows about it is that everyone who has read or watched it is obsessed with Mr. Darcy.

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So Claire journeys to Oxford University where she will be presenting the paper, and starts to feel overwhelmed as she is nowhere near the caliber of these people.

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She tries to relax and settle down, when the most gorgeous man comes her way and asks to sit with her.

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He introduces himself as James, in publishing, and from Manhattan. He too will be in the Pride & Prejudice seminar, although he is not a fan. Unfortunately he is as arrogant as he is cute. Luckily, the tongue-tied Claire is saved from making a fool of herself, as her room is ready.

That night and the welcome dinner, Claire finds herself seated with James and Martin, a kindly old man who instantly likes her. Claire tells them she is a doctor in pediatrics instead of the truth, making the same stupid cliché mistake that is done a thousand times in film and books.

Every time!

So now you know she is going to fall for James, and he for her, and then the truth will all come out making James never want to see her again. Same old, same old.

Same old thing.

Same old thing.

The next day is a free one, to help those who are suffering from jet-lag, and Claire decides to take a walk in the country. As she is roaming, she runs into an older woman, in a trench coat, sitting on a stump.

That's weird.

That’s weird.

Her name is Harriet Dalrymple and it turns out that she is a fan of Jane Austen as well. In fact she is distantly related to the author.

Harriet invites Claire over for tea, and Claire goes as she hopes to get Harriet out of the heat. They get to Harriet’s home, when Harriet drops a bomb on Claire. It turns out she has an earlier draft of Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice, the one that has been believed to be destroyed.

Say What

Claire is sure Harriet is joking, but Harriet pulls out a sheet of very old paper, written in old ink, and it looks extremely legitimate.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

So Claire starts reading, and even to her limited knowledge it doesn’t seem right. While the style looks right,

Mr. Bennet is dead!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

And Mr. Bingley chooses to forgo renting Netherfield!

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Rev. Collins decides to leave the church and instead become a gentleman of leisure.

What the

This version sounds more like the beginning of Sense & Sensibility, with Elizabeth planning their removal to a cheaper area, Mr. Collins coming and kicking them out a’la Fanny Dashwood, and the whole group moving to the seaside. The only difference? Elizabeth decides to seek employment. 

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Now there are quite a few problems with this writing, the first being why didn’t Jane marry Mr. Collins? When you read Pride & Prejudice, we know Jane is a people pleaser and that she would do anything her parents told her too. And we know that Mr. Collins likes Jane, in fact the only thing that keeps him from marrying her is because Mrs. Bennet assumed that Mr. Bingley would ask for Jane’s hand. But if we have no Mr. Bingley, then most likely Mr. Collins would have asked for Jane’s hand and Mrs. Bennet would have agreed, like in Lost in Austen. 

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

Why would Elizabeth be seeking employment? I mean we know that Elizabeth cares for her family and wants to help them, but she is of the gentry class [minor], so it is a bit odd that that would be her first idea. Someone like her who has never had to worry about such things automatically jumping to that? This isn’t modern times, it would make more sense if the idea grew gradually instead of all at once.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

So Claire becomes a little weirded out as Harriet says “the others won’t be happy” that she shared the manuscript. In fact she starts to worry that maybe she is in the opening scenes of a horror film.

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She quickly runs away and heads to downtown.

Run Away

In downtown she runs into Martin and learns more about Jane Austen, such as the fact that she wrote a manuscript 10 years prior to Pride & Prejudice, but choose not to keep it, later publishing the one we have today. That starts her thinking, could the one I’ve been reading at Harriet’s be the “real” one?

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Martin also tells Claire about Tom Lefoy, the wealthy man Jane Austen fell for, but was unable to marry as his relatives quickly spirited him away from such a poor conquest. Tom Lefoy is believed to be the foundation for Mr. Darcy’s character, Austen’s version having a man of high means willing to brave the negative consequences of marrying down, along with the hateful reception from his relations. Tom Lefoy was also the basis for the plot of Persuasion, of course that novel being a wish fulfillment as the man goes away, but comes back, reuniting the couple.

The next day starts the seminar, and Claire meets their facilitator Eleanor Gibbs. Besides Claire, James, and Martin, there are three other group members: Rosie and Louise from New Zealand, and Olga from Russia. Rosie & Louise go first, their video presentation on the many portrayals of Mr. Darcy in film and TV.

 Pick whichever look you prefer

Now nobody likes their presentation, but this would actually be pretty fascinating IF done right.

I mean first we have Laurence Olivier (my opinion one of the best Darcys) who is able to play restrained and rude; balanced with the charming and endearing Darcy. You also see subtle changes in how he talks to Elizabeth, but with the proposal still coming as a shock. Then we have David Rintoul in the ’80s who is more rude than restrained. Colin Firth‘s  Darcy is the first time we are seen multiple sides of Darcy as in this depiction as we are shown his viewpoint on events instead of just Elizabeths. In Furst Impressions, Mr. Darcy is played by Wishbone the dog, being RADICALLY different. Then we have Colin Firth again, this time in Bridget Jones’ Diary, playing a betrayed man, restrained as his heart was broken, but eventually showing his true emotions. Martin Henderson in Bride & Prejudice, is not only extremely cocky but integrating into a vastly different culture. Matthew Macfayden is more cold than rude, changing more rapidly to the charming Mr. Darcy. Lost in Austen’s Darcy is played by Elliot Cowan who can be downright cruel at times. Josh Hopkins‘ Darcy in The 12 Men of Christmas isn’t a gentleman or rich, but a rugged outdoorsman, small business owner, and volunteer on the rescue squad. J.J. Feild in Austenland is more reserved, but then easily transforms to the Darcy we all love. And then of course Daniel Vincent Gordh, The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, isn’t even shown until the very end, forcing the viewers to rely on how Lizzie and friends see him, contrasting that to the amazing Darcy we are later introduced to. Sorry small tangent, I’ll get back to the book review.

LookBackNorth&SouthMr.Thornton

So, no one likes their presentation and Claire feels better about presenting next time.

The next day, Claire sees James and Eleanor talking, and it doesn’t seem to be going all that well. She waits until they are done to get a seat, when Eleanor comes over to talk to her.

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It turns out that Harriet is Eleanor’s mother and suffering from dementia. Eleanor thinks Claire will only make things worse and wants her to stay far away. Claire doesn’t want to stop seeing Harriet, but at the same time she doesn’t want to hurt her.

Later that afternoon as she is walking away, James comes out of nowhere and asks her to dinner.

What?

What?

Claire is surprised, but accepts.

excited

James takes her to a super fancy place for dinner and the two discuss Darcy. James thinks it’s the money and extreme good looks that stirs the women’s hearts, but Claire doesn’t agree. He kind of squashes anything Claire has to say in retort and moves on to other topics.

How rude

Now here is where James is dead wrong. Money isn’t what makes Darcy so sought after, [you can read more about in my post First Impressions], it’s the fact that he is willing to humble himself and admit he was wrong, help out the Bennet family with no promise that he would gain Elizabeth’s heart, and the fact that he is brave enough to withstand all objections by his family for the woman he marries. That is why he is so romantic!

Mr.Darcy & Dating

Anyways, James tells Claire that Martin is a professor who’s field is Jane Austen, in fact he will be teaching in Oxford in the fall. Claire is surprised and the conversation moves on.

That night as James is walking Claire to her dorm, the two have a moment, nothing happens, but Claire is starting to feel guilty about it as she is in a relationship with Neil. A stagnant, boring one, but a relationship none the less.

Likeahouse

The next day Claire finds herself going to see Harriet’s, and another portion of the “manuscript”.

Elizabeth is at Rosings Park, a companion to Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s daughter Ann.

suspicious  Hmm

Okay why is she working here? How did she even meet Lady Catherine? Reverand Collins introduced them in the original novel, but judging from how people treated the ex-Reverand Hale in North & South, I don’t think Lady Catherine would want someone related to the ex-Reverand Collins. Whether he left the church for beliefs or money.

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So Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam are on their way to visit. Elizabeth goes out walking the gardens and getting messy, dirty, and tan. She runs into Mr. Darcy on a horse. He believes her to be a lower class servant and is rather mean to her. Elizabeth shoots the barbs right back.

Okay in Pride & Prejudice, Mr. Darcy was seen as rude or cold, but never downright mean. In fact the whole reason everyone really starts hating him is that he gives the impression of looking down on people and says Elizabeth isn’t pretty enough to him. BUT, we know from his servants that he really nice and caring, so why would you make him like this?

Get it right

Get it right

As she continues on her way, angry with herself as being rude might get her fired, she encounters Colonel Fitzwilliam, who has injured himself riding. The two flirt a bit, and Elizabeth scurries on her way to get help.

So we have Colonel Fitzwilliam as a rival for Elizabeth’s affections instead of Wickham. Claire is surprised by this, but can’t read more as she has to leave. Harriet warns her about Mrs. Potter, the leader of the Formidables, a secret society that wants to make sure anything Jane Austen’s sister did not intend for public viewships to remain hidden. Eleanor also wants the manuscript as she wants to publish it and become rich. Harriet sends all the pieces she has found with Claire, feeling they are safer with her until she makes her decision as what to do with them.

So now it is as if Claire has entered a spy movie, as she has “the package” everyone is after.

As Claire is contemplating what to do, she runs into James, who invites her to tour the Botanical Gardens with him. They walk around with Claire wanting to slowly stroll and take it all in, while James is just wanting to keep moving forward. Claire questions him as to what happened if a famous author’s previous manuscript was discovered and James tells her that it will mean A LOT OF MONEY for the person and the publishing house.

money money money

They eventually have to stop as it gets too hot. Now I have never been to England and I know this author has, but I looked up the temperatures and it does not get hot. 70 degrees? That’s nothing, try being in the ’90s or 100s. THAT’S HOT!

Anyways, as they are resting, James falls asleep, leaning on Claire. So with Claire having one guy interested it is fitting in scriptworld for Neil to decide to call her up.

Phew!

Phew!

Yes Neil who hardly ever seems to pay attention and is just calling her after she has been there like three days already! THREE DAYS!! He should have called the first day to see that she got in okay. Bad boyfriend, bad.

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

It turns out that Claire’s sister Missy said something to him, that made Neil want to call. Hurumph.

James wakes up and asks Claire to dine with him again, but she decides that the dining hall is better as the nice restaurants make her a bit uneasy and they really should be mingling with the other students. They have dinner, with Martin joining them. At the end of it, one of the porters comes for Claire as she has a package waiting for her.

Inside the package are more pages of the novel. Claire runs to her room to read more when she finds a warning note from Mrs. Parrot who wants the pages back.

They're watching her!

They’re watching her!

Claire decides to continue reading as she just has to know what happens next.

So Lady Catherine is throwing a ball, of which Elizabeth is not invited. To her surprise at the last minute Lady Catherine requests her presence, and she dresses quickly in a black gown. 

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So as this manuscript is missing a lot of pages, we are unsure how long after Elizabeth’s father died that this ball is taking place. Black was only worn during the full morning period, half of the complete mourning period. As a daughter, Elizabeth would mourn for six months, having to wear all black in the first three and could wear half black for the last three. SHE WOULD NEVER, EVER wear a black gown if she wasn’t mourning. Now as Elizabeth is mourning, as she is wearing black, she could not go to the ball. Customs allowed the deceased’s family to only go to Church and a few functions, balls were out of the question. And a woman like Lady Catherine who cares so much about propriety and society would never make a faux-pas like that. NEVER!

So a mistake like that? Book’s a fake. Move on Claire, move on.

Majorly

Majorly

So Rev. Humphrey, the one who took Mr. Collins’ position, invites Elizabeth to an outing to show off his house. Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam are also going to take a look. Elizabeth agrees, if Ann’s health allows her to come. Lady Catherine agrees if Darcy leads Ann. Elizabeth notices that Darcy doesn’t seem eager to be thrown together with his cousin. Colonel Fitzwilliam will lead Elizabeth, disappointing Rev. Humphrey as he wanted her all to himself. 

Claire decides to go out for some exercise, taking the manuscript in her purse, and runs into Martin. She asks for his help and shows him the manuscript. Martin wishes he could see more and find out where it all came from, but Claire can’t tell him as she promised Harriet. Martin guesses that the Formidables are involved somehow in all this, much to Claire’s surprise. In the end Martin tells her that he believes it could be real, and when Claire asks for advice of what to do, he tells her to follow her heart.

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As she is heading to her room, Claire runs into James who makes her feel…words can’t describe. He walks her home when, he suddenly kisses her.

BMW Kiss

Just as suddenly he breaks away, all sorry that he gave her the wrong impression but nothing can happen here story. If nothing can happen why would you kiss her? Come, on!

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Claire is justifiably incensed and takes off to her room. When she reaches her room she finds it ransacked!

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The next day Eleanor is angry with Claire for bothering her mother, and tries to get the manuscript from her. But Claire steadfastly refuses.

It’s time for Claire to share her sister’s essay, which is on the relationship between Elizabeth and Jane. Her sister, Missy, feels that Elizabeth’s constant helping actually hinders her chances of securing an attachment with Bingley, rather than the younger sister’s actions. However, I disagree as anything anyone says about Jane doesn’t deter Bingley except for when Mr. Darcy tells him that not only is Jane from bad stock, but he doesn’t think she really likes Bingley that much. So in reality it comes from Elizabeth not telling Jane what Charlotte told her too, make it clear she was very interested. Sorry Missy but you have some huge holes in your thesis.

This whole essay upsets Claire as it makes her rethink her relationship with Missy, maybe Missy actually resents everything she’s done to help her.

After the paper is shared, they spend the rest of the time talking about the guy we all hate, Wickham.

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When class end Claire finds herself back at Harriet’s cottage, and is given the next part to read.

So the group has gone out to visit Rev. Humphrey’s home. The good Rev. is very interested in Elizabeth, which upsets Lady Catherine. ( I don’t know why? Wouldn’t she prefer him giving her all the attention instead of her nephews?) Elizabeth finds herself continuously paired with the colonel and starts enjoying her time with him. Elizabeth asks about an engagement between Darcy and Ann, but Colonel Fitzwilliam assures her that there is nothing definite. Elizabeth is hopeful as she cares for Darcy.

Now why would she do that? In this manuscript we have only seen two thing with Darcy 1) rude to servants and people he thinks are below him 2) Very quiet. Now does that seem like something Elizabeth would fall for? NO! In Pride & Prejudice there is the hope that maybe he might be her true guy, which is dashed when he says that he doesn’t think she is that attractive. Her contempt for him is only changed after she sees his sweet behavior in Pemberly with his servants, sister, and her and her relations. This is all further fortified when he helps with Lydia and brings Jane and Bingley together. Get it right!

Get it right!!!

Get it right Beth Patillo!!!

Elizabeth asks the Colonel more about  himself and learns that he has recently left the regiment as he has been granted a parcel of land by his father. He doesn’t seem supremely happy with the choice as he misses being out on the sea. Elizabeth also shares a bit of her feelings on how she dislikes the changes her family was forced to go through. Elizabeth then starts thinking on how he would make a great husband, and protect his wife. If only Darcy was like that. Darcy, who makes her feel alive when he kissed her, but now only ignores her.

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There are two, HUGE problems with that! Huge!!

First of all, look at Elizabeth!! That’s not Elizabeth. That character is the type you would find in a 10¢ “historical”, bodice-ripping, romance novel. Oooh what a strong protector. Oh Mr. Darcy’s eyes, his lips. NO NO NO  NO NO NO! Elizabeth does not moon over such things NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This is horrible! This is like bad fan fiction. This is Fifty Shades of Gray bad! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!! Elizabeth would never act like that, Never!!!

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I’m sooooooooo upset right now!!!!!!

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Just argh!! Words cannot express how much I hate how they took a character I love and destroyed it so!!! And I get that the author is trying to present a radically different Austen novel and one that a younger Jane might write but I don’t care!!! I don’t like it!

I don't like it 11

And number two NO KISSING IN JANE AUSTEN NOVELS!!!! There is no way Jane Austen would write them kissing. That wasn’t done in Regency periods. You don’t go kissing until after marriage, unless you are a no good cad like Mr. Tilney’s older brother. So NO NO NO NO! Mr. Darcy would not be trifling with girls affections, no. And Jane would not put that in there.

So there! tongue sticking out pug

No way! It is a FAKE!!!!!!

Elizabeth enjoys Colonel Fitzwilliam’s company, but she is in love with Darcy.

Although I don’t know why as apparently he is a cad.

As Claire leaves Harriet’s she sees someone following her.

creep watching lovely bones Stanley tucci

It’s Mrs. Parrot who wants the manuscripts back.

The next morning, Claire heads out to Starbucks and on the way to class runs into James. James wants to apologize for how he was acting as he cares for her. He is about to confess something to Claire, and Claire is about to tell the truth on her not being a doctor, when who should appear? Neil.

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

What a cliché!

Neil introduces himself as Claire’s boyfriend, which upsets James. James asks if it is true, of which Claire says yes, causing James to become angry and stalk off. Neil realizes what has been happening and also becomes angry and takes off. Claire is just appalled at how quickly life was turned upside down.

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James presents his paper on how Elizabeth wasn’t really in love with Darcy but just a gold-digger once she saw how awesome Pemberly was. Claire runs out, just wanting to be alone to deal with all the stuff that went down that morning. She runs to the nearby river to think, when Neil comes floating down on a boat. They talk about their relationship, with Neil admitting that he didn’t pay as much attention to her as he should have, but that Claire wasn’t giving him as much attention as she is too focused on her sister. Now I thought this was a very late development, as previously Claire had mentioned that she did a lot for her sister, but when Neil mentions it as almost an obsession. Who is right? We don’t know as the author is almost trying to rescind her earlier reasons for why Claire was unhappy in her relsationship and the whole character based on Neil. I don’t buy it.

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Claire leaves Neil to think, and heads to Harriet’s who has found more pieces of the manuscript.

Elizabeth is walking in the park when she runs into Mr. Darcy. Mr. Darcy tells Elizabeth that he will not be victim to her game of trying to catch him. He tells her he loves her but that he could never marry a poor peon like her. If he was free from family control, maybe, but no. Elizabeth becomes angry, and says she never tried any such thing of “catching him”. And Darcy is free to do what he wishes.

Okay this is what I don’t like! They made Darcy the villian! They made him a pompus, jerk, pansy, mamma’s boy! No, NO, NO, NO. That is not how Darcy should be. And wouldn’t this Darcy make more sense after her fling with Tom LeFoy as she would have been angry with his lack of standing up for their love and releasing her anger in written form? Why would she  change and make Darcy better after such a disappointing circumstance when her previous creations evoked a closer emotion. It doesn’t make sense to me. And Darcy cannot be the villain. NO!!!!

No thank you

Elizabeth then travels to see Jane and pour out her miseries

Whatever! This book is going to have to do some major begging to get me to like it as it has sunk very, very low in my opinion.

So Claire and Neil meet at a pub to talk. It turns out that Neil is doubly upset as he was going to ask Claire to marry him.

ouch Hermione

They break up, and Neil heads to the airport.

Claire runs into James, who once he hears about the breakup, wants the two to start over fresh and build a life together. Claire appreciates his thoughts but tells him the truth about her not being a doctor. She also tells him that a part of her has been believing that he’s her Mr. Darcy.

Which he isn’t as he is totally jerky. Remember their dinner together, where he wouldn’t let her express her opinions?

Jerk

Claire goes to sleep missing Neil and wondering why she thew him away.

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Uh, Claire let me just remind you that the boy was taking you for granted and waited three days before calling or texting you! Three days! Find someone who really cares about you.

Missy calls Claire the next day and the two have a huge heart-to-heart. Missy tells her how she loves her sister, but truth is Claire has been sacrificing too much of her dreams and goals. Missy is grown now, Claire should be focusing on her own life, needs, desires, etc.

She later runs into Neil, who couldn’t catch a flight, which makes her regret everything even more. She believes that the man next to her is better than Mr. Darcy/James. Of which let me remind you James is nowhere near Mr. Darcy, and if Claire had actually read Pride & Prejudice she would know that. 

Mr. TPride&PrejudicePity

Martin finally presents his topic and it is on courage, the courage that Elizabeth has to reexamine herself and understand her heart.

As she is leaving, James approaches Claire. He tells her that he originally pursued her not because he liked her but because Eleanor told him that she had a copy of the manuscript. He was the one who ransacked her room.

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He fell in love with her along the way and hope that they can start completely new and fresh. Claire says thanks, but no thanks. Which good for you, you don’t need a Wickham in your life.

I don't need you

Claire then goes to the Bodleian Library and researches into Austen’s life, finding what she thinks is the key to the change in the Mr. Darcys.

Claire believes that Austen changed from the previous manuscrupt because she actually expereienced what it was like to be poor. She also believes that the Mr. Darcy we love today, was created as to give redemption to the man that broke  her heart and fell short of her ideals. Harriet agrees and gives her the last page.

Elizabeth is visiting her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner in London, and enjoying their time together. She is trying to find a new job when a man arrives to see her, Colonel Fitzwilliam. He comes and tells her that he loves her and wishes to marry her, and that he is willing to stand up to the disagreements of his family. Elizabeth agrees to marry him. They take off to visit Darcy’s friend Bingley, taking along Jane. The End.

So all the author really did in this book was turn Darcy into a cad and reverse which Fitzwilliam had the guts. In the actual book, Colonel Fitzwilliam tells Elizabeth that he likes her but needs a woman with fortune, making sure that she has no hopes pinned on him. In this she has Darcy do it. Yawn.

Nothing about this book was revolutionary to me or that delightful, as Pattillo seemed to be trying to just make money off Jane Austen fans, by twisting one of her classics and taking the characters we adore turning them into strange creatures only seen in stupid low-quality romances.

Mmhm great gatsby

By the way, Claire gives the papers to Harriet, and she returns home set on going to school, getting her degree, and gets back with Neil on the plane.

So I really, really did not enjoy this book. And I do not recommend it for any other Jane Austen fans

It was this bad.

It was this bad.

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For more retellings of Pride & Prejudice, go to The Accidental Bride

For more on works inspired by Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice, go to Happy Birthday Pride & Prejudice

For more Pride & Prejudice, go to Cold-Hearted

A Mater Mess

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Day 19) Your Least Favoite Disney-Pixar Film

Cars 2

Cars 2

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I HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE this film. I think it is the worst film Disney-Pixar made. Just Horrible. Horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible. And Stupid!

So in this film Lightening McQueen is going on this big race and Mater joins him. Mater ends up being recruited as a spy…and I don’t even need to finish this for you to figure out how horrible it is. I think they just wanted to make a stupid Mater movie, thought it wouldn’t do well so added all the characters in, which just made it worse. It was horrible and should DIE.

Die, die, die!

Die, die, die!

 

The only redeeming thing was Michael Caine’s character, Finn McMissile, the car version of James Bond. Otherwise the film was a major mess.

For more Sucky Sequels, go to Mean Girls 2

If you would like to read about more films that I think are clunkers, check out A Squashed Mess and The Beast of Yucca Flats

For more on Disney-Pixar films, go to They’re Alive

For more on spies, go to The Cat’s Meow