An Affectionate Heart

An Affectionate Heart by Heather Moll

I was given this book free in exchange for an honest review.

Are any of you Community fans? Community is about a former lawyer, Jeff Winger (Joel McHale), who faked his degree, and has to go back to community college in order to get a real one. He creates a fake Spanish Study Group to try and get with a girl, but ends up having all these others join them and eventually they all become friends and have a lot of crazy adventures together.

In one episode, two of the friends are having a housewarming party and when the pizza arrives Jeff, not wanting to fetch the pizza, has them throw a dice in the air to see who must go downstairs and retrieve it. This introduces multiple timelines with one of them being the darkest timeline.

So what does that have to do with this book? It starts off in the darkest timeline of Pride and Prejudice.

Our story begins sadly. Jane never met or married Mr. Bingley. Instead she married the gentleman who wrote her a few lines of poetry when she was 15.

“When she [Jane Bennet] was only fifteen, there was a gentleman at my brother Gardiner’s in town so much in love with her, that my sister-in-law was sure he would make her an offer before we came away. But, however, he did not. Perhaps he thought her too young. However, he wrote some verses on her, and very pretty they were.”

Pride and Prejudice

While this man, Mr. Cuthbert, isn’t horrible, he also doesn’t value his wife as much as Bingley did. The two live in London with four sons and an awful mother-in-law.

Mr. Bennet died of a heart attack two years prior, which caused Mr. Collins to never take orders (become a minister) and he inherited all of Longbourn. At the time he visited Elizabeth was supporting Jane during one of her pregnancies so Mr. Collins married Mary, leaving Charlotte unmarried and no prospect in sight.

Now that Mary is mistress of Longbourn she has become very self important, tyrannical, and uses her position to control her remaining family members: Mrs. Bennet, Elizabeth, and Lydia (Kitty is married and lives in Portsmouth).

When Mary turns evil

Elizabeth is not as strong or as fierce as she used to be as grief and circumstances have caused her to fold in on herself. She also is having problems with her heart, and is secretly afraid that she has inherited her father’s heart condition. She also feels unsettled as she is forced to move from Longbourn to London, not really having her own home; along with having to kowtow to the Collinses.

Mr. Bingley has not rented Netherfield but its gatehouse is where Mr. Darcy and Georgiana reside. It turns out that when Georgiana was seduced by Mr. Wickham, she became pregnant. Mr. Darcy decided to lie to family and friends saying they are vacationing in the warmer climate of Spain, while planning to hide out in Meryton until after the baby was born. Unfortunately, Georgiana suffered from a miscarriage and is currently extremely ill with tuberculosis.

To make this even harder on the Darcy’s, with Georgiana hardly going out due to her poor health and Mr. Darcy keeping his true net worth hidden and also not partaking in society; horrible rumors about the two abound in the community.

But while the beginning is a tad grim, let me assure you it does contain a happy ending. I have to admit when I first started this novel I was unsure where it would go as this opening was most unexpected. However, at the same time I was also extremely intrigued as to see what all these threads would produce.

Elizabeth has just returned from visiting Jane when she hears about the latest news of Mr. Darcy moving to town and is warned by Mr. Collins and Mary to steer clear of them. Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy have a horrible interaction at the apothecary, when Mr. Darcy, eager for medicine to aid his sister, rudely interrupts Elizabeth’s conversation. While Elizabeth doesn’t believe all the stories circling Darcy, she has decided he is an extremely rude man she would like nothing to do with.

Later at a party thrown by Sir William Lucas, Elizabeth spots Mr. Darcy and it appears that he is listening to her stories of London, strangely seeming interested in topics that wouldn’t typically suit a man. She manages to question him later about his interest in her tales of London and he reveals he is picking up tidbits to share with his sister, who’s health keeps her from anything.

Mr. Darcy also witnesses Elizabeth in heart pain, but after her pleas he agrees to not to reveal her illness to anyone.

That evening Mr. Darcy sees his sickly sister pleased at the crumbs of conversation he managed to solicit and decides to join up with Colonel Fitzwilliam (the only one who knows of their ruse), to try and hunt Mr. Wickham down. Meanwhile, Elizabeth has been thinking about Georgiana and how lonely she must be, just like Elizabeth. While Darcy comes to his decision to go after Wickham, Elizabeth is determined to befriend Georgiana.

The two immediately develop a friendship, with Georgiana revealing the true story of why they are in Longbourn. When Mr. Darcy returns (having not located Mr. Wickham), he at first clashes with Elizabeth; him not wanting charity, suspicious she might be hunting for information to ruin his sister’s reputation, and worried that these visits are doing more harm than good. Elizabeth returns somewhat to her old self as she sees him as controlling, rude, and is not afraid to speak her mind on it. Eventually, for the sake of Georgiana, the two make a truce and often enjoy debating or discussing issues.

While Elizabeth enjoys her time with the Darcys, she continues to be unhappy in her life and her heart pains appear to be increasing. She finally comes to the decision to consult the apothecary Mr. Jones, but he is unfortunately called away to care for his sick son before he can give her a prognosis. He promises to write and when a letter does come to the apothecary shop Elizabeth, embarrassed to speak to the assistant, purloins the letter and discovers that she only has a few months to live.

At first distraught over the fact that her life is ending, she then decides she will do whatever she can to ensure her remaining days are how she wants to spend them. She approaches Mr. Darcy and asks for his hand in marriage, not out of love but so that she can care for Georgiana, have her own life, and be buried with dignity rather than pity.

Mr. Darcy is shocked at how brazen Elizabeth is but after she reveals her reasons, and he spends time with her family-he can’t help but feel sorry for her and agrees. For him; his sister will be happy for her remaining time, Elizabeth will have a much happier place to live, he only has to care for her a few months (and she is beautiful and enjoyable to be around), and can use his widower status to keep his Aunt Catherine or any other ladies at bay (“I cannot remarry as my heart is “broken”). The two enter one of my favorite tropes, a marriage of convenience, and of course they eventually fall for each other.

But this path is full of obstacles. As the two grow closer and fall for each other, will Elizabeth continue to feel the same way when she discovers Mr. Darcy is not a poor gentleman but has kept his lineage and estate hidden from her? Will the two be able to swallow their pride and compromise to create a true marriage? And will their love even matter when Elizabeth’s days are numbered?!

My thoughts on this book? I LOVED it.

I knew how it would end and figured out the reveal of a plot twist immediately when it was introduced, but honestly that doesn’t matter. From page one I was sucked in and stayed up all night finishing it.

I can’t put the book down

This book made me laugh, I cried, I went through every emotion and enjoyed every page.

I also think Moll touched really well on complicated grief and the guilt and blame that can come when a sadness of a death is mixed up in a hatred toward life’s circumstances. I used to work with grieving families and children and the scene when Mr. Darcy is trying to cope and work through his inner torment at the death of his sister and nephew is extremely well written.

I really enjoy the slow burn of a romance, and I savored watching the romance progress from civility to passion.

I also liked the way Moll wrote the supporting characters, especially the relationship between Lydia, Mr. Darcy, and Elizabeth. In this Lydia is still constantly thinking of getting married, clothes, and still a bit of a narcissist; but as being the only other unmarried sister and stuck under the care of Mr. Collins she and her sister have bonded closer together. We also see that while Lydia is concerned for her welfare first and foremost she loves her sister and wants to help her in the way she best can.

I highly recommend this for fans of Austen variations as I throughly enjoyed it and will definitely be reading it again.

For more Pride and Prejudice, go to Charlotte’s Story

For more Pride and Prejudice adaptations, go to Lean on Me: Austentatious (2015)

For more Jane Austen adaptions, go to Is You’ve Got Mail Really an Adaption of Pride and Prejudice?

Holy Crap, Leonard’s a Zombie: Epidemiology, Community (2010)

So my friend loves Community and tried to get me to watch it with her.

We watched some and I loved it…until they forced the Dean to take care of the Changnesia ex-teacher Ben Chang who had imprisoned him for months. After coming from an abusive relationship, I was not interested.

Not for me.

With COVID-19, my friend suggested I give it another watch and started rewatching and was hooked.

Not every episode was for me, but after all the bad news in the world it was nice to have some comedy and laugh. The thing I love about it it is all the different homages to film and TV and Abed’s film references as that is me and my obsession with film.

So after the marathon I had this past summer, I thought what better time than now to review one of it’s Halloween episodes. I had a hard time choosing between this and “Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps”, and I went with the former as I really like the horror homage being set to ABBA.

So the “fake” Spanish Study Group was formed when Jeff Winger (Joel McHale), a former lawyer who had faked his degree and has to go to college, wanted to try and get with Britta Perry (Gillian Jacobs). Britta asks Abed Nadier (Danny Pudi) to join him. He invites a few others, and the group rounds up to Pierce Hawthorne (Chevy Chase), Troy Barnes (Donald Glover Jr.), Annie Edison (Alison Brie), and Shirley Bennet (Yvette Nicole Brown).

The group ends up becoming close friends, even though Jeff tries hard not to, and after they all pass Spanish-they continue with Anthropology. Since they started the class Jeff was attacked by the Anthropology professor: Jeff goes to a party at his old law firm and finds out his old buddy Alan is the one who revealed his fake degree (but he still helped him so that Alan would owe him a favor); Pierce’s mother died and was “vaporized” into his cult and Jeff went through a midlife crisis regarding his mortality; they rode a Space Simulator that was donated by KFC, Shirley and Abed had a showdown regarding Jesus; and Pierce joined a group of “Hipsters” (those who had their hips replaced) and was reverting to teenage rebellion. So Halloween is her again and after the craziness of Pierce getting drugged and freaking out, all are looking forward to a “regular” holiday.

So we start of with George Takai narrating the episode. The Greendale Community College Dean is dressed as Lady Gaga and got a special deal on military rations surplus food for this year’s Halloween dance-man this school has A LOT of dances. My four year university only had one thrown by the actual school-the Blue & White Ball/Homecoming dance. Everything else was done by clubs, Frats, or Sororities. They always do this in TV, like Saved by the Bell’s school had a gazillion.

The study group is there-Jeff is David Beckham, Pierce Captain Kirk from Star Trek, Troy as Ripley from the Alien series with Abed as the Alien Queen from Aliens, Britta a dinosaur, Annie Red Riding Hood, and Shirley Glinda the Good Witch.

Pierce has been eating the food and starts acting weird and sick, not too far off from what he did last year. Annie finds Rich (Jeff’s nemesis from pottery class), a doctor to examine Pierce.

Hmm…

Abed and Troy’s costumes are soooo cool. I’m glad I have my sister to do costumes with, I miss matching costumes.

Rich quickly grows busy as there are more and more people sick-their effects changing to biting people and 102 degree temps. Uh, oh. Biting people? Vampires?

Troy gets upset that girls aren’t into his costume as Ripley and tries to make a new on out of the toilet seat covers and toilet paper-a sexy Dracula.

Not for me.

The Ripley costume was much cooler.

Annie discovers that the illness is being transferred from the bites and takes a hold of them much faster.

That’s not good.

The Dean calls to complain to the store and reads the label, giving the code word-as soon as he does the call is taken over by the military. This reminds me of Return of Night of the Living Dead when the military sends the zombies from Night of the Living Dead, to the crematorium and the two workers get into it, releasing zombies on the world. He is told to lock them in the building and help will arrive in 6 hours.

Annie tries to coordinate an orderly evacuation of those that aren’t sick, but Troy sees Leonard biting someone and screams:

Troy Barnes: Holy crap, Leonard’s a Zombie!

Soo utter pandemonium is with people screaming, running, zombies biting, and ABBA’s Dancing Queen playing in the background.

Zombies from Night of the Living Dead

The study room runs with Jeff throwing his soccer ball and punching people out of the way. Jeff always gets the action scenes.

The group locks themselves in their study room, just like in Night of the Living Dead. In Night of the Living Dead they were house to wait it out. Rich asks if any are bitten and all say no-but I’ve seen the film Night of the Living Dead. One of them is a liar, but which one?

Hmm…?

Also in the background is a tombstone that says Craig Pelton, the Dean. Foreshadowing?

Hmm…

They start barricading the doors and are scared and unsure they will last the full six hours, Dr. Rich says they only have three hours before permanent brain damage is done.

That’s not good.

Annie comes up with the idea to lower the building temp in efforts to stop the fever. Luckily Abed knows where the thermostat is. Sooo in reality they probably wouldn’t be able to do anything as the thermostat is probably closely regulated. I know the thermostat at my university was as they didn’t want anyone messing with it. And of course the thermostat is on the other side of the library as they need an excuse to leave the safety and make a run for it.

Dr. Rich starts sharing the symptoms of the disease and slurs in the middle as he has ever symptom. Yep, he’s been bit and he let them barricade themselves in with him? He’s like the little girl in The Night of the Living Dead.

But at least she was a child, you are an adult-and a doctor. Isn’t your first vow to do no harm? So yeah, you suck.

Oh and it turns out he wasn’t the only one. Britta was bit too.

Chang, dressed a Peggy Fleming, throws his ice skate at Dr. Rich and misses hitting the window. It breaks and the zombies start coming in, taking Annie.

The Zombies chase the remaining group and Gimmie, Gimmie, Gimmie! (A Man After Midnight) plays. It is a perfect pairing!

The non-zombie members of study group run for their lives, Jeff punching people left and right.

Shirley falls and is saved by Chang having split from the group they hide out in the ladies bathroom. Shirley and Change share a tender moment that develops as both believe it is the end of the world.

They will regret that the next day.

Jeff, Troy, and Abed are all that are left. The boys are then assaulted by a crazy cat-homage to horror films, and Abed spots a window they can escape from. Jeff doesn’t want to as he is wearing a $6000 suit. He tries to go through the door and gets attacked by the Zombies.

Jeff isn’t too upset about being a zombie, but is more angry about his archival Dr. Rich stealing his jacket. Oh, Jeff.

Abed and Troy start climbing shelves, shelves that look a lot like the ones from the Lava episode, “Geothermal Escapism”. Abed sacrifices himself so that Troy can save them all-quoting the “I Love You” scene from Star Wars.

Troy gets out and knocks the Dean over to get the key. He runs back into the library in his costume with the song Mama Mia playing in the background. Troy runs through the people in his Ripley costume punching people left and right, but they quickly overpower him. It was cool while it lasted.

Even though he becomes Zombified, with his final moments before he is fully zombified he crawls to the thermostat and mages a temp change.

What!

Fernando plays as the air starts coming through and they grow cold and begin to change back. They are going to take them out, but as they seem to be normal they Men in Black blue light them and they can’t remember anything that happened-they think it was a mass roofie.

After Troy and Abed have their wounds treated, they head to the dormitory to watch a movie…anything but Zombies.

In the end, Troy listens to his voicemails and discovers a message from Chang, so it really did happen.

For more Zombies, go to Sometimes, Dead is Better: Pet Sematary (1989)

For more ABBA, go to Take a Chance on Me: Austentatious (2015)

For more TV episodes reviews, go to The Adventure of the Sinister Scenario: Ellery Queen (1976)