There’s Something in the Fog!: The Fog (1980)

So I don’t know about you all, but I love the fog.

I actually like driving in it, walking in it, just foggy days in general. I went to school in the bay area and loved mornings (not evenings-as that is a killer’s delight) when the fog would roll in. It just makes me want to drink tea, make cookies, bake or cook something, curl up with a good book, etc.

I hated having to bike in it though-soooo scary. When I went to university, I used to work at a music hall and they used the hall as a class some mornings. The class started at 6, and we had to be there at 5:30.

It was sooo scary biking to work every morning. The way to go from my apartment to the hall I had to bike up the highway. All I could do was pray every morning, please let no one hit me. The fog there was really bad-like mushroom soup bad.

I hope I can do it.

Where I live now we get really bad foggy days and nights too. Back in the 1800s the whole area used to be underwater, the winter rains would come and create a lake on the land, that would recede in the spring. Years later, the area my nieces live in are full of houses but still retain the bog-like quality they used to have hundreds of years ago-so when the fog comes it is really bad.

I like driving out there, as it is peaceful in a way-it almost feels as if you are the only one in the world. However, it is also still dangerous. There were a ton of accidents, a semi completely blocking the road, and I was almost in an accident when someone’s car broke down and they just left it in the road! Seriously, dude. Anyways…with all that in the especially in October-it made me think of:

There’s something in the fog!

Years ago my sister brought The Fog (2005) home for us to watch. It had Tom Welling from Smallville, that girl who was the bipolar superhero in Heroes, and the girl that Elle gets dumped for in Legally Blonde. It was kind of confusing, the effects were blah, and I remember not getting into it at all.

The whole time we watched it, my mom kept saying how she loved the original. Because of that, I have always wanted to watch it, but just never got around to it-until someone donated it to the library.

My time has come!

So this film starts off with a ghost story-no one knows its connection to the town, but we will.

The community Antonio Bay, CA is about to celebrate their 100th anniversary. That morning (12:00am) strange things begin happening. The first is that the minister, Father Malone (Hal Holbrook) in the old church discovers a piece of masonry falling off-for no logical reason-and a diary is discovered and with it an ancient curse!

That’s not good.

Meanwhile, fisherman are out at sea when the fog rolls in-it brings an 1880s ship and ghostly, creepy creatures that attack the ship.

Nick Castle (Tom Atkins) is driving home when he spots a young girl hitchhiking (Jamie Lee Curtis). She is weird.

I know blunt, but she is just so strange. If it was me, I would have kicked her out of my car.

Elizabeth Solley: Listen, I never hitchhiked before. I just really want to be careful. Can I ask you something?

Nick Castle: Sure

Elizabeth Solley: Are you weird?

Nick Castle: Yes, I am. Yes, I am weird.

Elizabeth Solley: You are weird. Thank God you’re weird. The last one was so normal, it was disgusting.

Yes, she basically has no character other than being nothing like a normal person. Like she does not react normal to anything, it’s almost as if Jamie Lee Curtis got a different script, like she thought the movie was about an alien pretending to be human going to a town with paranormal occurrences and trying to figure out “how” to do that without giving themselves away.

The two go to Nick’s place and sleep together. After they re done, something knocks on the large windows that Nick’s place has.

Now that I love-the way Carpenter creates these monsters in the fog-sooooo creepy.

As I mentioned above, I like walking in the fog, but not at night. It is so creepy as you can’t see anything, you don’t know if there is danger lurking there. When I was at university, I hated having to walk across campus at night. There was always that fear when turning a corner or passing an area thick with foliage-could there be someone waiting? Especially creepy when you hear footsteps, but can’t tell who or where they are coming from-or if the person coming your way is planning on hurting you.

I think Carpenter captures those feelings perfectly in his monsters/ghosts. Watching it, brought back all those feelings again.

Spooky…

So Nick is worried when the next morning, the fisherman aren’t back. He sets out, with-ugh-Elizabeth, in tow. When they get on the boat they found the corpse of Dick Baxter, while the other fisherman are missing. While there it seems as if everything is after Elizabeth?

Why? Who knows. She’s from “Pasadena”, maybe, but that’s all we get from her. We know nothing else and she is really bland. Why did Nick even take her along? Or even better, why does he continue to take her along when everything is after her.

Meanwhile, D.J. Stevie Wayne (Adrienne Barbeau) finished up work and visits with her son. He found a piece of driftwood with the word “DANE” on it. He gives it to his mom, who has to go back to work to listen to some tapes, taking the driftwood with her. It begins to seep water, and her tape player playing a gravely voice saying that revenge must take place. The wood spells out that “Six Must Die”. Then everything catches on fire! Stevie puts it out and the wood goes back to Dane.

Back with the fishermen, the doctor reviews the one body they have and discovers a mystery.

Dr. Phibes: [the pathologist has just examined the body of Dick BaxterWhat the hell happened out there?

Nick Castle: There was rust all over everything. It was like the boat had been out there a long time, taking on water. He was down below, near the bunks.

Dr. Phibes: Nick, his wounds are covered with algae, his lungs are full, and there’s silt under his fingernails. I tell ya, I saw Dick Baxter three days ago in Salinas. Now he’s lying there on the table looking like he’s been underwater for a month!

That’s not the only weird thing. While the men step aside to talk, Elizabeth waits by the body. Suddenly, Dick’s body reanimates and attacks Elizabeth. What a Dick move! (LOL sorry, couldn’t resist).

When the men return he is dead again, with the number 3 carved into him.

Kathy Williams (Janet Leigh) is overseeing the centennial celebration, and is worried about her husband’s-one of the fishermen-disappearance. As she moves forward with the celebrations she stops by the church. The pastor is freaking out as he has stayed up all night reading the journal he found and frenzied by lack of sleep and what he discovered!

Father Malone: [reading from Patrick Malone’s journal] “December 9: Met with Blake this evening for the first time. He stood in the shadows to prevent me from getting a clear look at his face. What a vile disease this is. He is a rich man with a cursed condition, but this does not prevent him from trying to better his situation and that of his comrades at the colony. December 11: Blake’s proposition is simple, He wants to move off Tanzier Island and re-locate the entire colony just north of here. He has purchased a clipper ship called the Elizabeth Dane with part of his fortune and asks only for permission to settle here. I must balance my feelings of mercy and compassion for this poor man, with my revulsion at the thought of a leper colony only a mile distant. April 20: The six of us met tonight. From midnight until one o’clock, we planned the death of Blake and his comrades. I tell myself that Blake’s gold will allow the church to be built, and our small settlement to become a township, but it does not soothe the horror that I feel being an accomplice to murder. April 21: The deed is done. Blake followed our false fire on shore and the ship broke apart on the rocks off Spivey Point. We were aided by an unearthly fog that rolled in, as if Heaven sent, although God had no part in our actions tonight. Blake’s gold will be recovered tomorrow, but may the Lord forgive us for what we’ve done.” I couldn’t read any further.

Sandy Fadel: You’re grandfather had a way with words.

Father Malone: The celebration tonight is a travesty. We’re honoring murderers.

Yes the story that was told in the beginning, the truth has been revealed. These lepers cursed the town and have waited 100 years to exact their revenge. They have come to kill the descendants of the six men who murdered them. The six are:

  1. Al Williams
  2. Other Fisherman
  3. Dick Baxter
  4. Father Malone
  5. Tommy Wallace
  6. Mrs. Kobritz

At least that is what I am assuming-the problem with this film is it isn’t really clear on who are those involved and those that aren’t. They kill the other fishermen who were on the boat but if I include him, that would make seven-when there were only six. So did they just kill him for fun?

Hmmm?

The other problem is that no one knew about this secret. It makes it not as interesting in my opinion. Now the 2005 film was really bad, but one thing it does do much, much better is clearly state who the descendants are. That was a much needed improvement-I also liked how the descendants all knew about the murder. I think that made the film more…fulfilling then having the ghosts kill people who have no knowledge and are paying for a crime they had nothing to do with.

So as the night picks up, so does the fog. Stevie sees it and how it is going against the wind. She warns everyone and begs someone to save her son-urging all to flee to the church.

The ghosts kill the nanny, Mrs. Korbitz, and go after Andy (why as he isn’t a descendent), but Nick saves him. Elizabeth is just there, why? Who knows. Why is she even in this film?

I’m done

Now I know this is a small fishing town, but where are all the people? The only ones at the church are Kathy Williams, her assistant Sandy, Father Malone, Nick, Andy, and Elizabeth. Where is the rest of the town? Are they alive? Are they dead? There were a lot at the celebration, but what happened to them?

I really feel like John Carpenter wanted to copy The Thing from Another World (1951), where you have this small group of people being attacked and trying to overcome it-there it made sense as they were on a small research center in Alaska. Here you have a whole town! Where are all the people? What happened to them? Obviously they are not attacking just the descendants as they were going after Andy-yet they left Nick alone? Just doesn’t seem very thought through.

Hmmm…

Anyways, the gang hide out below the church in the room where there is a giant gold cross, a cross made from the stolen gold.

That’s not good.

So the ghosts attack Stevie in the lighthouse-why as she is not from there but moved there. She isn’t a descendent, why are they after her?

Hmmm

And they attack the people in the church. Malone feels the guilt and brings the cross out, begging the ghosts to spare everyone and take him. As he offers the cross-it and the ghosts disappear.

All seems to be fine.

Stevie Wayne: I don’t know what happened to Antonio Bay tonight. Something came out of the fog and tried to destroy us. In one moment, it vanished. But if this has been anything but a nightmare, and if we don’t wake up to find ourselves safe in our beds, it could come again. To the ships at sea who can hear my voice, look across the water, into the darkness. Look for the fog.

But later, Father Malone is thinking over what happened. Why didn’t they take him? Then we have a fantastic twist!

So yeah, I didn’t love it. But I think it was way better than the new one. There was a lot in this film that just didn’t make sense, I mean there were so many unanswered questions.

I also hated the Elizabeth character. She makes no sense! Why is everything after her? Who is she? She doesn’t add anything to the plot and if she wasn’t there, it really wouldn’t change the film.

I do have to give the 2005 film credit for trying to make there be a reason why everything wants Elizabeth, and giving her a reason to be in the film. Even though it was still dumb.

I think the only thing I would watch it for are the ghosts, those are just done so well.

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning go to, Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more John Carpenter, go to China is Here Mr. Burton. The Chang Sing, The Wing Kong, They’ve Been Fighting for Centuries: Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

For more Janet Leigh, go to We All Go a Little Mad Sometimes: Psycho (1960)

For more on Jamie Lee Curtis, go to Everyone’s Entitled to One Good Scare: Halloween (1978)

For more horror films with fishermen, go to You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Boat: Jaws (1975)

China is Here Mr. Burton. The Chang Sing, The Wing Kong, They’ve Been Fighting for Centuries: Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

China is here Mr. Burton. The Chang Sing, The Wing Kong, they’ve been fighting for centuries.

I have wanted to watch this movie for a loooooong time. I heard it was good, Kurt Russell looks fantastic; but every time I tried to see it I always came in near the end.

One day, my friend and I were cruising through Netflix and we decided to check it out.

Let me say this is one of the weirdest films I have ever seen.

What?

I don’t even know really how to review it. I mean it is hard to classify it. It is kinda horror-comedy-action-adventure-everything. Half the time I wasn’t even sure what was going on

Huh?

But surprising to me, I really liked it.

So the film starts off with Egg Shen (Victor Wong, the grandpa from 3 Ninjas), telling an account of what happened…

Flashback

Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) is a truck driver throughout California. He stops in San Francisco for a delivery and to meet up with some friends for some gambling. His friend Wang Chi (Dennis Dun) bets him double or nothing, but loses. Jack wants his money immediately, but Wang has to run to the airport to pick up his fiancé, Maio Yin. Jack doesn’t want to go, but whatever.

Meh.

When they get there, they are interrupted by a woman grabbing onto another Chinese woman and a gang of guys taking Maio Yin. The guys try to go after them and find themselves caught in a supernatural battle with mystical and legendary characters.

All kinds of crazy things happen, confusing crazy things-you totally need to watch yourself.

Jack Burton: All I know is, this Lo Pan character comes out of thin air in the middle of a ******* alley while his buddies are flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds, and he just stands there waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him with *light* coming out of his mouth!

And this is one of the reasons that makes this film so enjoyable. It is a crazy film blending Chinese mysticism, history, and all blended in modern times. So a lot of the film you go:

Help me! I’m confused!

And the best thing is that Jack Burton spends most of the film this way. He is totally confused and lost; meaning that he gets to be us. He takes place of us in the film. You completely relate to him and everything he is going through and thinks.

So they are interrupted by Wang Chi’s cousin Eddie Lee who wants to help them (he’s a lawyer). While they are al taking, in bursts the woman from the airport who took the Chinese woman- lawyer Gracie Law (Kim Cattral).

Kim Cattral cracks me up in this, I could totally see her with her own little sitcom-with bumpity high music playing in the background as she charges in shouting “I’m Gracie Law”.

So what happened was that Gracie Law is an immigration lawyer and was helping a Chinese woman escape from being sold into sexual slavery. When she took the woman they paid for, the guys sent needed to bring someone back so they took the first Chinese woman they saw-Maio Yin.

Yep, Maio Yin just came in at the wrong time.

So they are trying to get her back, but it will be hard.

Wang Chi: Jack, listen, I need more of your help. I can’t pay you today, okay?

Jack Burton: Oh, s***.

Wang Chi: How can I? I need all my cash for Miao Yin.

Eddie: And it’s gonna cost. She’s got green eyes.

Gracie: Oh no, seriously? Oh, that’s an extra to these people. It’s like leather bucket seats, it’s double the price.

The group-Gracie Law, Jack Burton, Eddie Lee, Wang Chi and Gracie’s reporter friend Margo-concoct a plan to try and spring her from the brothel. I love him trying to act like a nerdy guy. And let me say that Kurt Russell totally pulls off the brawny-beefy guy and the cute-smart guy in glasses.

But they are interrupted by the mystical and magical Lo Pan. Lo Pan wants Maio Yin because of her green eyes, he has been looking for a green-eyed Chinese bride for centuries. When he realizes Gracie Law also has green eyes he decides to take her too.

“Lo Pan: Egg Shen… EGG SHEN! You have come a long ways to find me. But it is too late. There are two girls with green eyes, and I will marry them both. And then I will sacrifice Gracie Law to appease my emperor and live out my earthly pleasures with Miao Yin. [cacklesThat’s right, Egg Shen. The best of two worlds!”

Here is where things get crazy. Kurt Russell has a fantastic scene in the wheelchair, you’ve got to see it. What a hunk!

The rest you have to try to view on your own. I loved how Kurt Russell is this buff and manly dude, but then he ends up shooting his gun in the ceiling and knocking himself out and fighting and getting knocked out of it. Yes, in reality, Kurt Russell/Jack Burton doesn’t turn out to be the main character but the sidekick, Wang Chi being the real savior of the day with his awesome moves.

And the end is hilarious, it is so unexpected, I just love it! I just loved the film.

Not to mention I have a new couple goal. I’ve said I’d love to dress up as Anne and Gilbert from Anne of Green Gables but here is another. I totally want to be Jack Burton and Gracie Law. I mean I HAVE green eyes, and there are very few anything green-eyes, so I am down for that. Plus I love Jack’s style-you know me and boots. The only issue I see is trying to find the bride’s headpiece-and of course the guy to do it with. I know I could do it on my own, but it hard enough to know who we are together, never mind on my own.

Maybe one day.

Aw!

To start Horrorfest VI from the beginning, go to One of Our Guests is a Werewolf, I Know It.: The Beast Must Die (1974)

For the previous post, go to Because We’re Addams: The Addams Family (1991)

For more John Carpenter films, go to Everyone’s Entitled to One Good Scare: Halloween (1978)

For more ’80s films, go to That’s What We’re Trying to Find out! We’re Trying to Find Out Who Killed Him, and Where, and With What!: Clue (1985)

For more horror-comedies, go to I Died for You! I Came Back from the Dead for You! I Love You!: My Boyfriend’s Back (1993)