Who Was First?

Star Wars

Yes I know it is a silly joke, but what can I say?

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For more Star Wars, go to I Feel A Great Disturbance in the Force: Star Wars, The Force Awakens

For more on Luke Skywalker, go to A Very Merry Star Wars Christmas

For more Darth Vader, go to We Want You

Do You Know Where Alex Is?

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Do You Know Where Alex is?

So this past week I suffered from some phone harassment. Not as bad as “The Stranger” from When a Stranger Calls or Nightmare on Elm Streetbut it was pretty bad.

So it all started back in December. I received a text asking me if I knew where Alex was because his girlfriend wanted to talk to him. I texted back that I didn’t know anyone named Alex and had no idea where he was. The texts continued and I would answer her again that I didn’t know him. One time I even called and left a message saying I had no idea who he is. Pretty soon I began to ignore it hoping it would go away.

You never learn

You never learn

Then the other day I was at a meeting and my phone went off. We hadn’t officially started so I decided to check it, and it was the girl again looking for Alex. I told my friends about it, and they told me it was probably a prank call. If it had been going on that long, and she still wasn’t getting the message, then it had to be someone messing with me. Then each of them told me their wildest stories about how they would prank people. One of my friends, Ben, told me I should text her back something like “he doesn’t care about you anymore” or “he wants to be with me now” or something silly like that. I agreed as I figured what have I got to lose?

ouch

We all then joked about how funny it would be to see what she texted me back.

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So the girl calls me and GOES CRAZY!!! I actually didn’t even answer the phone. I made Ben do it since it was his idea. He tried to tell her what happened but she was going all kinds of crazy!

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He told her the whole story about how I have repeatedly tried to tell her I didn’t know her boyfriend and that it was all a joke. Harmless fun.

Inspector-Gadget

Think she saw it that way? Uh uh.

HOW DARE YOU!!!

HOW DARE YOU!!!

This was she. Nooo joke.

The crazy girl sends me massive texts! Massive amounts of them. And here they are, oh and I wrote them out just like she sent them, (misspelling mistakes and all so they are 100% authentic).

“Who is this? I wish you all would leave me alone and try getting a job”

“And why hasn’t Alex told meb”

“Have fun paying his child support”

“Why can’t you call and say it got to hide behind a text. Or are you guys lil kids that needs to get high”

Then she called me THREE more times. THREE times!!! This girl is CRAZY!!!

Certified Creepo Ribbon

So then I called the number to talk to her, but all I got was her aunt. We discussed it and I told her everything; how I kept getting all these texts, I didn’t know him, I thought it was a joke, etc. She apologized and said she would delete my number.

So do you think that was the end of it? Nope!

im-back

Right after, I got even more texts!

“Tell Alex to come out front his truck is here.”

“Just do me a favor and tell alex the stuff in his trunk is gone and he is just like the pettys and he is a coward b****”

Just like the pettys? What does that even mean? Tom Petty? Do you mean petty thief? Do you mean peddy as in pedophile?

“I:m waiting for Alex to call”

You know their relationship seems to consist of her not knowing where he is and waiting for him to call. If he’s avoiding you either 1) You’re Crazy, 2) He’s cheating/a jerk, or 3) All the above. Time to move on.

“Oh and his $4000 in fines. You guys will amt to nothing”

Sounds like you’re getting “petty”. (Sorry I had to do it. It was just set up so well)

bad pun alert

“Didn’t realize all you guys are cowards it was only four of us”

I really am not following this conversation at all.

Blah, blah

Blah, blah

 

“That’s right to Alex new joe would a f****** rip his a**”

Wha? Huh? What does that even mean?

I just don't understand stupidity. Oh, well.

I just don’t understand stupidity. Oh, well.

“And you all of you over there who he’s hiding behind I hope he ripps  you off like he ripped me off with my great-grandmother’s jewelry, stoley daughtets”

This guy just sounds so bad. Why do you even want him as your boyfriend anymore? I mean I know he is the father of your child (earlier text) but seriously, he sounds like baaaaad news.

Like as big a loser as Satipo from Raiders of the Lost Ark

Like as big a loser as Satipo from Raiders of the Lost Ark

“Money and the sheriff is on their way to see if any of this stereo s*** in my ar is stolen. If so i’ll point them that way”

But then the creepiest thing happened. She sent me my sister’s name and the area I’m from. It was so creepy it felt like When a Stranger Calls, you know the part when the guy is watching her through the window or when she finds out where the guy is.

AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

 

“ex. It’s very simple to trace #’s. But why is he hiding behind you guys ohh tweakers stand behind tweakers. Just know he is a liar and I did nothing but”

This girl is CA-RA-ZY!

“take care of him down to buying him a car he traded for dope and now look what he has”

Man this guy and girl have massive problems.

Then she kept calling me again, and it got to the point where I just snapped.

That's it! I will end you!
That’s it! I will end you!

I called them and just started yelling at them, telling them they needed to leave me alone or else I was going to take legal action. My sister worked for the courthouse, I know people on the police force, sheriff, and CHP. I wasn’t going to mess around any longer.

I Will find you

The woman was the aunt (Darn it!) and once again promised to leave me alone. I was hoping that would be the end of it, but that was just not my luck.

The next day at 6:00 in the morning. 6:00 AM! Some guy calls to talk to me about Alex. Now, there is one thing you never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever want to do to me and that is waking me up. There is no thing scarier than waking me up in the morning. I’m like a grizzly bear, I will eat you for breakfast,

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If I wake up on my own or by my alarm clock, I’m perfectly fine. So when this guy called I just lost it and started screaming at him to leave me alone, and possibly other things but I can’t really remember our conversation. All I know is I was scary.

Its really funny, because at first I thought it was just part of my dream until I checked my phone log.

So, since then they have left me alone. Yep, just another day in the life.

A Fright on Halloween Night: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1949)

You can’t reason with a headless man.

As a kid I remember that this movie used to scare the bejeezus out of me. The headless horseman was uber creepy.

Ghosts are bad, but the one that’s cursed,
Is the Headless Horseman; he’s the worst!

But the film was amazing!

One reason why it was so fantastic was that they had the very handsome, and very charming Bing Crosby be the narrator and singer.

I love this man!

He doesn’t even have to show his face, just listening to his sexy voice is enough for me.

So Disney actually manages to do an extremely good job and creating a fun, but still creepy children’s film. They also managed to keep the story very similar to the short story, in fact taking pieces from the actual text and placing it in the film.

FYI Spoiler Alert

So the cartoon starts out with the classic Disney opening:

All fairy tales or films based on short stories and novels used to open with the pages of a book. I miss that opening and wish they portrayed it in more films. I know they brought it back for Enchanted, but I still wish there was more of it.

The first person we are introduced to is Brom Bones

I never liked Brom. He always seemed like a jerk to me. He was big and brawny, “handsome” to some; but a mean bully. He reminds me of a lesser cool Gaston. (I love Gaston, even though he is a jerk. His song is awesome)

I mean he gives liquor to animals. That’s abuse right there.

Anyways, Brom is shocked at the appereance of a new man in town. In fact this stranger suprises everyone. It’s Ichabod, Ichabod Crane the school teacher.

“Debonair and devil-may-care
It’s the new schoolmaster
What’s his name
Ichabod!
Ichabod Crane!”

He’s tall, rail thin, and has one heck of a schnozza; but I always liked him better as he was well-read and not a loser like Brom.

Icabod also loves to eat. He goes to his student’s homes to partake in their food, making it a complete part of his lifestyle.

Even though Ichabod isn’t really a looker he still has all the girls in town’s hearts a flutter.

With a voice like Bing Crosby’s who could blame them?

This of course upsets Brom, who tries his best to prank Ichabod and make him seem dumb.

Next to enter the scene is the lovely Katrina Van Tassel. Not only is she the prettiest in the town, but her father is the richest man.

“Narrator: Oh, Katrina, my love. Who can resist your grace, your charm? And who can resist your father’s farm? Boy, what a set-up! There’s gold in them acres…Dear Katrina, my love, my treasure. Treasure? Ah, that barn’s a gold mine. How I’d love to hit the jackpot. Sweet Katrina, Papa’s only child. Papa? Well, the old goat can’t take it with him, and when he cuts out, that’s where I cut in.” 

Every guy in town wants to get with Katrina, Ichabod included. The only problem is that Brom is interested in Katrina, in fact he is planning on marrying her. Katrina however is enjoying the attention of Ichabod. She likes the fact that he is so different from anyone she’s ever met.

Ichabod is able to to best Brom in every way, by using his brain over brawn.

However, Ichabod is a very superstitous person. We saw in his song how he doesn’t like black cats, walking under ladders, salt over the shoulder, etc.

Brom catches on to this and tells a horrific story about the Headless Horseman.

“Brom Bones: [singing] When the ghosts have a midnight jamboree, they break it up with fiendish glee. Ghosts are bad, but the one that’s cursed, is the Headless Horseman; he’s the worst! 
Chorus: [singing] That’s right, he’s a fright on Halloween night! 
Brom Bones: When he goes a-jogging across the land, holding his noggin in his hand, demons take one look and groan, and they hit the road for parts unknown!…I’m telling you, brother, it’s a frightful sight for what goes on Halloween night.” 

Its midnight and Halloween, and after hearing the story, Ichabod is doubly freaked out on his walk home.

Of course on his way home he runs into THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN!

 “Next morning, Ichabod’s hat was found, and close beside it, a shattered pumpkin, but there was no trace of the schoolmaster. It was shortly thereafter that Brom Bones led the fair Katrina to the altar. Now, rumors persisted that Ichabod was still alive, married to a wealthy widow in a distant county. But of course, the settlers refused to believe such nonsense, for they knew the schoolmaster had been spirited away by the Headless Horseman.”

I always thought that the horseman was Brom and not a ghost, but I like how they end it so that you can draw your own conculsion as to what has really happened.

Hope you enjoyed this hair-raising tale. More to come!

Here is a cover page I made for my facebook for my Halloween countdown

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To go to the beginning of Horrorfest, go to I Don’t Belong in the World

For the previous post, go to They’re Here

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For more on Disney Animated Films, go to The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind

For more on Disney, go to Doors of Death