You’re Mother is a Shadowhunter…Like You: The Mortal Instruments, City of Bones (2013)

I don’t understand what any of this has to do with my mom.

Your mother was a shadowhunter, like him; like you.

So about a year ago, I read the book City of Bones (Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments #1) by Cassandra Clare. I decided to read it as it is SUPER popular at the library. The book is returned and gets checked out as soon as it is shelved.

After I finished it…I was not pleased at all and I could not get the appeal.

It kind of felt like a mashup between Supernatural and Harry Potter. And it MOST definitely was not better than The Hunger Games. 

Seriously, they thought that?!

It was an okay story, but it went overload on the cultural references. Like these kids are into fantasy and Scifi, I get it-but when you just reference or quote things constantly to fill in your story instead of developing the characters-that’s where I have issues.

Not for me.

Plus I found the character Simon, Clary’s best friend, to be super annoying, and I wanted her to end up with Jace the shadowhunter she meets-as the author is constantly putting them together, but it turns out that they are brother and sister?

I mean why would you construct a story that way to want two characters to get together and then be all, psych they are brother and sister.

Why, why would you do that. Ugh, it made me feel disgusting after reading it.

Or are they? Could Valentine be lying?

Hmm…is it her?

Yeah, not interested in reading more…

So I was scrolling through my streaming sites, and the film popped up and I thought, why not? There was nothing else on. Let’s see how they did the film.

Hmm…

So Clary Fray (Lily Collins) is a normal 16-year old. She lives with her mother as her father passed away years ago. Her family is rounded out by her best friend Simon, who has a huge crush on her that she can’t see, and her mother’s best friend Luke Garroway (Aiden Turner).

Wait, what?

AIDEN TURNER is in this?

For those of you who don’t know-Aiden Turner is an Irish actor who is immensely talented and has the best looking curly hair I have ever seen. I became a fan of him and his hair after watching Poldark, so I was excited. As I said, it’s been over a year since I read the book, but I do remember Luke playing a crucial role in the end of the book and I couldn’t wait to see Aiden Turner.

Clary and Simon go out to a coffee poetry night. Clary sees this “hot” blonde guy and decides to be spontaneous and go to the club he is going to. To be fair it wasn’t just because of the guy-her mother has sheltered her, her whole life and tht coupled with her mom calling her again about when she will be home and her turning 16-she decides to have fun. The hot gut was the final push.

At the club she sees him with a girl and a guy and watches the group as they approach a man and kill it.

What!

She hurries away but its too late. Life has changed forever.

She has realized the “reality” of her world and its not going away. Clary gets in a fight with her mom, and later Jocelyn Fray (Lena Headey) calls Clary and warns her not to come back. Jocelyn is kidnapped and the apartment torn apart. Clary returns home, but is attacked by some wolflike creature. Jace, the boy from the club, comes and saves her.

Where is everyone?

He saves Clary and tells her the creature was a demon, as was the man the night before. Jace is a shadowhunter, shadowhunters are a race of mortals who have angelic blood. They reside in the shadow world but cross over to the mortal realm to hunt demons, vampires, werewolves, etc. Shadowhunters can only be created by being born of a shadowhunter or turned into one by The Mortal Cup.

As you have guessed it, Jocelyn is a shadowhunter, meaning that Clary is too. That is why she could see Jace and his friends and no else could. They question the neighbor, a witch, and discover that people are after the mortal cup and believe she has it.

That’s not good.

They need a ride and Simon drives her and Jace over to Luke’s to get more information. Simon is less annoying in this, but is still annoying. And surprise, surprise he hates Jace as Jace is clearly into Clary.

The actors weren’t bad but Lily Collins and the guy who plays Jace have like zero chemistry. In the book they actually connected better.

They reach the antique shop to look for Luke, and find him being beat up. He tells the two guys (the ones who kidnapped Jocelyn) that he cares nothing for the Frays and only wants the cup too. If they let him go he will be able to find it.

The crew leave him-RUDE, like geez Clary this guy was a surrogate dad and you watched him get beat up and did nothing.

So Jace knows they won’t be safe in the city and takes them to the Shadowhunter Institute. On the outside the muggles mundanes see a dilapidated broken down church, but on the inside it is a beautiful building with weapons.

There she meets Alex (Kevin Zeggers) and Isabella Lightwood, and Hodge who runs the institute. The three of the Shadowhunters are on earth because of what their parent’s did. Years ago, Valentine Morgensten’s father was killed by a werewolf and that set him on dark path. He wanted to destroy all downworlders (demons, werewolves, vampires, etc) even ones that were not breaking the law or the Accords. He was aided by the Lightwoods and intended on starting the killing when the next Accord signing was set up. They were stopped and punishment ended up with them being sent from Idris, their home in the Shaddoworld to New York City. Later Jace was sent to live with them. Hodge on the other hand is banished to never be able to return to Idris.

Valentine was experimenting with The Mortal Cup to become more powerful, but he was believed to be dead. With them searching for the cup and coming after Jocelyn, he must have returned.

That’s not good.

Hodge tells Jace to take Clary to the Silent Brothers so they can reveal her memories. When she gets there she discovers that there is a lock on her memories only one person could do that-Magnus Bane.

Magnus Bane is the high Warlock in the area and is just happening to be throwing a killer party. Of course poor Clary knows nothing about fashion and wears boring clothes so we have a makeover by Isabella.

After the makeover all the boys are upset- Jace has been struck by cupid, Simon is mad that Jace is into Clary, and Alec has a thing for Jace and doesn’t like that he is into Clary.

They head to the party and Clary goes off with Magnus. Magnus tells her that her mother wanted to keep her safe and used to take her to appointments regularly. It was getting harder for the block to stay as she growing older and they missed the latest appointment which was to be on her birthday. Magnus tells her he can’t do anything but that without the last session in time everything and all her powers will develop.

Well, thanks for that I guess.

Well that was a useless detour-except Simon gets kidnapped as he is turned into mouse and stolen by vampires. The gang has to go after him and fight, only surviving when they are saved by werwolves.

So about here I was checked out of the film. I like that they had pared down the pop culture references but to be honest this movie is really boring. It was just too much like things you’d seen before you know. I wouldn’t be able to give specifics but it was like a large order of deja vu.

Back at the institute Simon recuperates while Jace and Clary grow closer. Clary is a prolific artists and it turns out that her Shadowhunter powers are very interesting. She can draw something and pull it off the page, or put an ordinary object on into paper. That gets her thinking…

Hmmm…

Jace, Clary, and Simon all have a spat as they are in a triangle-Simon likes Clary, and Clary likes the attention but she likes Jace who likes Clary, but Jace doesn’t like how close Clary and Simon are, etc.

Blah, blah

Clary thinks about her abilities inherited from her mom and realizes she has seen a painting by her mom of The Mortal Cup. It was on set of tarot cards her mom made or their neighbor, the witch.

Jace, Alec, Isabella, and Clary head to her neighbors to get the cup-but she is possessed by a demon. They fight and get the cup, but Alec is wounded. At the institute Isabella blames Clary as Alec is wounded badly, so badly they have to call Magnus as he is the only one who could do anything.

That’s not good.

Clary gives the cup to Hodge, who betrays them by bringing Valentine into their word-he’s been biding his time working for him, the Death Eaters, as long believed dead leader is back.

Oh, wow…

Valentine is back and played by Jonathan Rhys Meyers, oh I had a huge crush on him in the ’90s.

From Bend It Like Beckham

So Valentine reveals that he is Clary’s father. Clary has special abilities she isn’t aware of as he experimented on her when she was a fetus with angel blood and his son (her brother) with demon blood. I am really disappointed that he isn’t in the film that long and second his character is top comical. He’s chewing the scenery in every shot-and he’s not usually like this, so I blame the director.

So Clary is asked by her father to join the dark side him but she refuses, She puts the cup back in the card and travels through a portal to Luke’s. Meanwhile, Valentine bring Jocelyn to the institute and tries to figure out how to turn his daughter. Hodge comes up with the plan to lie to Jocelyn and Clary that Jace is the dead son Jonathan. I’m glad they made it clear in this that the incest is a lie-although it is still a weird plot.

Apparently, in a later book it is revealed that Valentine faked his and his older son Jonathan’s death and took the identify of Michael Wayland becoming a recluse. Michael and his wife had died, Valentine has been experimenting on Jace’s mother without her knowledge and when she died he saved the child and raised it. Jonathan had extra demon blood and Jace extra angel blood.

Hmm…

So they get to Luke’s shop and he reveals that he is a werewolf (Valentine was trying to get rid of him and took him on a hunt to get him turned into one and killed). Luke has always loved her mother and traveled with her to this world to protect her. He reveals information about Valentine and tells her that he lied to the the men torturing him to protect them. After he escaped he fought with another werewolf and gained a pack, them being the ones that saved them with the vampires.

The werewolves and few shadowhunters team up to take Valentine down.

Back at the institute, Valentine has brought demons in to help him and the Shadowhunters and werewolves do their best to fight him off. Simon discovers Jocelyn in a comalike state in the crypt of the church and tries to revive her. Valentine and Jace fight, but Jace stops when he is told that Valentine is his father.

He stops fighting, as that’s his “dad”, but Clary defeats Valentine and tricks him by giving him a fake cup ands him through the portal. Later Jace goes to see Clary and invites her back in to the Shadowhunter world-telling her he doesn’t think they are really siblings.

That doesn’t change it, still…

This wasn’t that good of a story. I think it was better in some ways than the book, but it was boring. It felt like a Star Wars, Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia, Supernatural, Buffy the Vampire Slayer smoothie-and not in a good way. I liked Aiden Turner-although I wish he was in it more. Otherwise, meh.

For more demons, go to Suspense & Sensibility (Or First Impressions Revisited)

For more on angels, go to Book Club Picks: This Present Darkness

For more Teen Horror films, go to Just Because I’m a Vampire Doesn’t Mean I’m Bloodthirsty: Cirque du Freak, The Vampire’s Assistant (2009)

For more on Lena Headey, go to The Story, We’re Living it. It’s Alive: The Brothers Grimm (2005)

For more on Jonathan Rhys Meyers, go to Lookin’ Over a Four-Leaf Clover: 17 More Irish Heroes

Who Kidnapped the Girls’ Soccer Stars?: North Mammon, Criminal Minds (2006)

So Criminal Minds-I was a HUGE fan when it first aired and I watched it faithfully for seven years-only stopping when I moved from the dorms to an apartment that didn’t have cable.

I was so invested in this show as I was deeply interested in behavioral analysis. When I first went to college I studied psychology, hoping to work for the FBI one day…however, I hated the psychology classes as we kept having to talk about ourselves (I ended up switching to history).

One of the other reasons I wanted to watch this show was for Thomas Gibson.

So Handsome!!!

Yes, I was a fan of his from Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas and Dharma and Greg. So when I saw the content of the show with this actor-I was gone. I needed to watch it-the remote is MINE!

I have to watch it.

And to top it all off-Mandy Pantinkin, his most famous role being of course, Inigo Montoya, was also in the show. I love him!

So the show is about the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit which is comprised of the leader Agent Hotchner and Jason Gideon. The rest of the team consists of Elle Greenaway, the sexual predator profiler (who ends up leaving and is replaced by Emily Prentiss). We also have Derek Morgan (played by the very handsome Shermar Moore) and appears to be the standard tough guy, ex-athlethe, charming, ladies’ man-but you find out there is far more to him than what appears at first glance. Spencer Reid is a super genius and the youngest member of the unit. He is only 22 in the first episode but already has three PhDs, two BAs, and has a photographic memory. Reid is utterly adorable.

Rounding out the team is Agent Jennifer “J.J.” Jareau, the liasion between the FBI and the town they move into to help out. She’s sweet, kind, adorable; and when the show dropped her the fans revolted, bringing her back. Rounding the team out is Penelope Garcia, the quirky, adorable computer whiz and annoying Emily Prentiss (I don’t like her).

That’s just how I am.

There are a lot of memorable Criminal Minds episodes, but the one that really stuck in my mind was this episode, “North Mammon”. I think it largely had to do with the fact that it was a “J.J.” episode. Every team member had their “special episodes” were something in a case resonated with them and brought out why they were interested in this line of work and some of the reasons they took the path they did. As J.J. is one of my favorite characters it made this episode extremely memorable.

So the episode starts off in North Mammon, PA. The high school and town are going crazy with a pep rally as the BIG GAME is happening in a week. Having gone to an art school, I never experienced this but I have seen Friday Night Lights-football is huge in some towns.

Three girls are unimpressed and OMG one of the girls is the crazy girl in Accused at 17-the one that murders the girl and then tries to frame her friend. Oh, no…I looked it up. She just looks like the same girl but isn’t. Phew! That wouldn’t have boded well.

The three girls are having a girls’ weekend-house to themselves, pizza, probably movies. Two go in first while the third girl stops to bring in the trash barrels, and is kidnapped. The kidnapper threatens to kill her and uses that to grab the others. All are put in a concrete slab basement. Even creepier-the man knew their names. Why is he doing this? Who is he? One of the girls has a bad cough, and being in that basement only aggravates it.

Their kidnapper wants them to choose: two can live while the third will be murdered, their choice.

So as you can tell, this episode has a lot of Saw feeling to it. Saw came out in 2004, and spanned all kinds of sequels so it heavily influenced the media. Although when I was watching this, the scene with the girls on the basement made me think of Glass, when the cheerleaders have been kidnapped.

So the mom of one of the missing girls contacts J.J. through her friend, J.J.’s aunt-knowing that J.J. was a soccer star like her missing daughter she thinks she’ll understand that her daughter didn’t run off. You see they have been missing for five days and no one is looking for them or taking her concerns seriously.

Such a man!

Brooke Chambers’ father went out of town and her two best friends stayed with her-Polly Holmfeild and Kelly Seymour. The two girls disappeared, but left a message about going off on a road trip-the exact verbatim message.

That’s not a real message, they have been threatened.

When J.J. presents this to the team they question whether the girls just to off-but J.J. shuts them down. She was one of those girls, and knows they wouldn’t mess up full ride scholarships by taking off like this.

Gideon also points out that the message says they would be back on Friday, they only have a few days left to find them.

The team heads out to North Mammon and meets Police Chief Yates, who isn’t worried. They haven’t been able to locate Brooke’s father either-but that isn’t unusual, he often goes on long business trips-he’s a lawyer.

The team immediately knows that whoever this person is has been watching the girls as they know a lot about them-they knew they wouldn’t be at homecoming, that Brooke’s father was gone, that the other girls’ parents were at the pep rally, and that they could have the girls leave them messages, etc. Someone has been stalking and watching them and in a town that small it isn’t an outside-someone in the community.

So which person is a secret psycho?

from Psycho II

I know a lot of people didn’t like it but I thought it was an interesting concept and take. A short of When a Stranger Calls, but with a community instead of house. Most likely the guy will be someone who seems trustworthy or normal.

Hmm…

Gideon starts walking to find a vantage point of where the person was watching them and discovers a spot with a perfect view littered with cigarette butts. There are a ton, someone has spent a lot of time watching.

Hmm…

So the town is still in celebration mode for the homecoming game, Chief Yates is a former football star back in the day and sees nothing wrong with it.

Meanwhile back with the girls they are starting to turn. It has been five days with no food, little waterm trapped in a basement, and being taunted by a man. The girls have started to unravel, unsure of how much time they have spent there. Brooke is growing sicker and sicker with her cough. Polly is by her side while Kelly is seriously going crazy-crazy and angry being trapped in their.

I’m going crazy.

The team finds the girls’ car and search it. They discover the quarterback’s cap, but he’s ruled out as everyone saw him at the pep rally. Mr. Chambers finally shows up (hey-he’s the dad from the Mentalist “Red Tide” episode.) Mr. Chambers comes in during the debriefing and makes a scene. He sure doesn’t look like a lawyer to me or talk like one-sounds more blue collar.

The team shares that the guy they are looking for is a predatory abductor, they usually build a nest before they take someone, and it is always a secret and secure place. They will also inject themselves into the investigation. The person will also, obviously, be missing from the pep rally.

Hmmm…

They run the cigarette butts and the DNA matches with the girls’ soccer coach. They go to get him but Chambers gets there first and starts beating his legs with a tire iron-revealing he’s had a pedophile charge, soliciting an underage minor (she was a prostitute that “lied about her age”) and Mr. Chambers got his old football buddy off.

However, Don was seen at the pep rally and it seems off that kidnapper would leave cigarette butts full of DNA when he was so precise and removed all trace of himself in the house, so someone is obviously framing him.

Yes, whoever this person is wants these community “leaders” to all turn on each other. While the town is doing that-so do the girls in the basement. Kelly has a plan and Brooke can tell it is a dark one-one that doesn’t bode well for her.

The next day the trash guys discover the girls’ soccer uniforms behind the motel. The team moves to the motel and find out that one guy, John Sherman, uses the room once a month and pays an extra $100 to leave no paper trails-its Mr. Chambers. That’s right, he never left town.

Seriously

They then question Mr. Chambers and it turns out he did lie about being away. He was staying at the motel where he meets a friend once a month-a man. It is a small town and he wants to keep that hidden.

So watching this, it is clear that whoever is doing this is trying to turn these “football stars” against each other and reveal secrets. Who could dislike them so much? Is there someone they bullied who is trying to get revenge? Is it someone who never got the recognition they felt they deserved? A fourth wheel to this golden trio? But if it is is to get back at these football stars why take these girls when only one is related to them? What is the plan here?

Hmm…

The girls are growing worse and Kelly tries to convince Polly to give Brooke up to be killed so they can be free. Polly refuses because she will not sacrifice her friend. But how long will that last?

Kelly tries to use the love Polly has for her mom to convince her-after all Brooke is cick-she is going to die anyway. Kelly works on her and wins her over. Kelly calls to the kidnaper who throws in a hammer to the room. They not only have to choose who will die, but but kill them.

The next shot we see Polly wrapped in a blanket and another girl coming out of a basement wrapped up in a blanket too so we can’t see her. Is it Kelly? Or Brooke?

Hmmm…

Meanwhile the parents are going insane. They are supposed to be working together on finding out who the kidnapper could be, but are just gossiping, yelling, and blaming each other. J.J. has had enough and yells at them all.

I know a lot of fans didn’t like this episode as they felt it was unrealistic, but in this moment it reminded me of the Twilight Zone episode “Monsters on Maple Street”, how a little thing that causes mistrust can make people turn against each other.

The unsub drive the girls to North Mammon…weird.

Meanwhile, the agents have decided enough is enough-time to split the guys up. Before they can, Brooke Chambers’ phone turns on and they get a hit. The two girls were dropped right outside the police station.

Man this unsub is ballsy. Just right in front of them-no fear this sicko.

The first girl is Polly, as we all knew, and the second one is Brooke-Kelly is dead.

Ohhhh?!!! What happened? I can’t say I’m sad as Kelly proved to be an awful friend as she was going to kill her friend.

Kelly’s father brings up that they all played football together-the championship being tonight. J.J. thinks that might be the clue they need-maybe someone on the team?

Hmm…

The girls are in shock, but J.J. speaks to Polly. J.J. is the heart of the team and relaxes and reaches out to her-calming her and bringing her to the present.

Meanwhile, Brooke is sharing what happened with the police and other agents- they were hungry, thirsty, and cold. Kelly was trying to get Polly to help her kill Brooke. Meanwhile, Brooke hits Kelly with the hammer and collapses.

Poor Brooke-hearing your friends plan to kill you and then having to kill someone to save yourself-someone you thought was your very best friend.

These girls are going to be needing double the therapy.

Polly picks out their kidnapper from the football photo and it is Marcus Younger-the garbage man who found the girls’ soccer uniforms. It turned out he was the former star of the team until he blew his knee out-right before the championship game.

They find his house and check the storm cellar-and there he is, just waiting. Just sitting there with Kelly’s dead body waiting or the FBI and police to find him. This to me is one of the creepiest scenes-he is smug, relaxed, calm, even delighted to be found-and chilling next to a dead body.

He smugly tells them I never touched the girls or came into the room, I just revealed their inner nature.

What a jerkwad! He wants revenge for how he was treated when he got hurt-how he was tossed aside and forgotten. His teammates weren’t his true friends, and he wanted to show that these girls they are teammates that are also not true friends, that when the chips are down they would betray you.

What a jerkwad crazy psycho man. They don’t make it clear whether he has been plotting this for a while and waiting for them to get to the right age, or if it was just seeing them and the cheer for the championship that he snapped.

I know a lot of people didn’t like this, but I found this to be a very intriguing episode and unsub. Definitely one that sticks with you.

Wow!

J.J. is upset over everything on the plane home as all the memories from her childhood are coming back. I really like this post scene as Hotch encourages her to be a profiler, and J.J. shares she prefers being where she is, as she likes being the one the family can turn to, and the one to choose the next case. It is really touching as we the viewer and the team all got to know J.J. better and see into more of who she is.

I enjoyed it as it was so different from the other episodes and a real look into J.J.

For more on Criminal Minds, go to Fantastic Fantasies

For more horror TV episodes, go to To All the Ghouls I’ve Loved Before: The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo (1985)

Did the Bride Run Off Or Was She Kidnapped?: Veil of Secrets (2018)

What Happened to Kate?

So remember how I started playing that game Desire & Decorum from the app Choices?

I know it has been a while since I reviewed an episode.

Well Choices creates games that are similar to the game design in the film Big. A computer game/book that you read but get to make choices as to what will happen next.

Wow!

You have a mix of film and book storytelling in combo of a video game.

Wow

So last year I playing this one and wanted to renew it for Horrorfest, but I hadn’t finished playing it yet. I ended up doing It Lives in the Woods and decided to save this for this year.

So the story starts off with you, New York reporter, going to visit your best friend/college roommate Katherine O’Malley in Bridgeport as she is getting married!

Time for a wedding!

You haven’t had a chance to spend as much time together recently, so you haven’t even met the fiancé or the other members of the wedding part. But it quickly looks like this wedding will not be a happy affair.

When you get there you discover that she is marrying the supper wealthy Tanner Sterling-he’s seems like a Prince Charming-but his family is awful-looking down and treating Kate bad.

Then there are her “friends” who are horrible! The maid of honor Scarlett Emerson puts down Kate and treats her like dirt as well. Something is not right here.

You also meet lawyer and Scarlett’s brother, Grant Emerson, he’s okay; along with Kate’s brother Flynn-ex-con and dockworker.

Depending on your choice, you either you go out to an impromptu Bachelorette party, but either way you encounter a drunk Kate after at your hotel room later. She is worried about something, but drunk, and before you can get her to say what it is-angry Tanner comes storming in and pulls her away-all she manages to do is pass a note with the word “Ulysseus” on it.

Hmm, I don’t know about this…

The next day you go to the wedding, but when “Here Comes the Bride” plays, no bride walks down the aisle. The bride is missing!!!!

Gone Girl

Has Kate has run off…or has she been kidnapped?

It’s up to you to solve the case! You team up with Flynn and Deputy Naomi Silverhawk. You investigate the clues and have your choice of which romantic interest you desire.

Which way should I choose?

As is ever other choice in the game. Now you will reach the final conclusion either way, but you do have points where you will have to pay with your “diamonds” to investigate to get more information.

Mystery, you say?

So as you start investigating you discover the beautiful town of Bridgeport is straight  out of David Lynch-beautiful on the outside but something rotten under the surface.

Blue Velvet was an interesting movie. One day, I’ll review it, but not today.

Anyways, so time progresses and even though the Tanners are insisting that Kate ran off it is clear that something bad has happened to Kate. As you investigate you discover that the police force is corrupt (except Naomi) and don’t want you investigating:

Tanner was cheating on Kate:

You jerk!

Scarlet hated her guts and has some serious emotional issues:

Tanner’s brother is a total creepazoid:

And his parents do not want them to get married:

Did one of them do something to her? Could it have been more than one person?

Time to get on the case!

But as you continue with the case, you discover a secret so big-it could burn Bridgeport to the ground.

I thought this was an amazing mystery and extremely well done! I enjoyed it so much I have played it multiple times so that I can get every single clue.

If this is your kind of thing, you should play today!

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more on Veil of Secrets, go to Kissing the Blarney Stone: 7 More Irish Heroes

For more on Choices, go to Happiness is Having a Library Card: Another 13 of the Best Fictional Libraries

For more on kidnapping, go to Those Men Are Not Going to Stand for Nancy Drew Poking Her Little Nose Into Their Affairs: Nancy Drew, Detective (1938)

For more weddings, go to The Conscripted Seamstress

Those Men Are Not Going to Stand for Nancy Drew Poking Her Little Nose Into Their Affairs: Nancy Drew, Detective (1938)

Those men are not going to stand for Nancy Drew poking her little nose into their affairs.

First saw this when I was staying in Wyoming. I was renting a room from a family and was happy to see they had cable as my family had gotten rid of it years ago. Finally I could watch TCM!

And what did they happen to be showing?  1930s Nancy Drew Marathon!

So Nancy Drew was published in 1930 and became extremely popular. The film rights were bought and movie contract for a few films starring Bonita Granville.

They do get one thing wrong instead of Ned, he is “Ted” Nickerson. Why? Don’t know.

This book is based on the Nancy Drew Mystery The Password to Larkspur Lane with a few changes here and there. That’s enough background:

Nancy Drew is the chairman of the committee presenting Miss Mary Eldridge an award. Mary Eldridge is donating to her old alma mater-$250,000 ($4.4 million in today’s cash). She plans to go and sign the papers at Carson Drew’s (Nancy’s dad) office after they finish this meeting. The money is to go to a swimming pool-the girls vote.

Great choices

The next day wait for Miss Elridge-planning on presenting her with a trophy. But she doesn’t come. She has ran away.

It all so odd.

Suspicious

The lawyer, Mr. Hollister, says that she is a hypochondriac and very eccentric. She does stuff like this all the time. Does she really?

Hmm…

All the ladies become angry that they won’t get their pool and turn on Nancy and Mrs. Eldridge. Nancy thinks something more serious is up and sets on to find her.

Nancy is out driving to Mrs. Elridge and spots something, in her rearview mirror: it is Dr. Spires being kidnapped! She follows the car and tries to get the license plate but it is so muddy all she sees os a “08”. She then gets a blowout and the chase is over.

Ugh

Dr. Spires calls Mr. Drew leaving him a cryptic message and that he needs him to come right away.

When they get there Dr. Spires tells them his story. He was kidnapped and brought to an old house, were he was blindfolded and only saw the inside. Inside was an injured elderly woman being held against her will and he treated her hurt shoulder. They let him go but he saw nothing and knows not how to find them. All he does know is when they came to the gate one of the guards said the word bluebell. They threatened his life if he told but he risks letting Carson know.

When the Drews leave Dr. Spires, two guys are watching them and decide to follow the duo.

The two don’t realize they are being followed and head to the police, the two men knowing that Dr. Spires let the truth out…

Captain Tweedy, (Frank Orth), the police chief, is no real help. Nancy is much smarter than him, and Tweedy feels there is nothing he can work off on.

Sorry, can’t help you. Good-bye.

I love how quick Nancy’s mind it, and how sarcastic she can be. She doesn’t like Captain Tweedy and neither do I.

Nancy and Mr. Drew discover a car is following them and Nancy does evasive measures and tries to follow them, but Mr. Drew essentially “grounds” her from investigating. But will Nancy listen?

Meanwhile, next-door neighbor Ted Nickerson (Frankie Thomas) is practicing for football and runs into Nancy’s yard. Ned Ted’s friend Spud Murphy comes over to speak to Ned as he found a carrier pigeon on his coop, but it isn’t his bird. He wants Ted to announce the pigeon over his radio. Nancy looks at the message and sees that it says “shoulder okay bluebells”

Nancy knows it is important evidence and leaves the bird with Ted for safekeeping while she goes to her father with the new evidence. But Dad doesn’t want her involved anymore-Dr. Spires was badly beaten, and he doesn’t want that to happen to his daughter.

Nancy returns to Ted and wants to take the pigeon to the police, but she isn’t allowed to go alone-per her father. Ted makes a coop in two seconds for the pigeon.

Now I didn’t care for the Ted character. I thought he was just mean and rude, and seemed to just be a big grump. Yuck.

They head out and drop the coop, the pigeon flying out. Ted tries to catch it, but Nancy wants it to fly away as she wants to follow it. She’s tricky. She did it all on purpose.

They follow a pigeon to a house that is described as Dr. Spires said except for watchman. She leaves Ted there to stand watch while she calls for backup. The police arrive, full force and rush the house. But all they find is Mrs. Eldridge business partner. Hmmm….

Hmm…

They all turn on Nancy saying she must have imagined everything. They all head to the coop in the back to find the proof-Nancy’s pigeon. But they can’t find it and just insult her instead.

Everyone leaves, but Mr. Hollister does have the pigeon. He is writing notes and he warns his cohort that the “Drew girl” is up to stuff.

It turns out that these men kidnapped Mrs. Eldridge and want her money to go to them not the school. Mrs. Eldridge tried to get away and they dislocated her shoulder.

Nancy is embarrassed, but goes after Dr. Spires to speak to him. He describes going ovr a bridge and a gravel driveway-he was blindfolded the whole time but knows this from the sounds he heard.

Hmmm….

Nancy realizes they went to the wrong house-Ned pointing out the pigeon was going to deliver a message. If they wanted to see where he came from they should have gone the opposite direction. They run the figures and discover the house should be by Silver Lake-right where Ted is heading the next day for a family trip.

Their musings are interrupted when they see a man trying to break into Nancy’s house-it’s just her father who forgot his key.

They try to open the door, but it won’t. It was barricaded. The look for the housekeeper and she tells them a man with a gun tried to get in earlier so she piled the furniture and hid.

The man is still in the house. He has a gun and holds them all at gunpoint and warns them to stay out of it. He then leaves.

Mr. Carson plans to leave town as they have news of Mrs. Eldridge in a sanitarium in St. Louis. Nancy is shocked as that doesn’t seem right, what about Silver Lake? Nancy invites herself on the Nickerson family trip as her gut is telling her the answer lies at Silver Lake.

Up at the lake three days they have searched and found nothing. Ted wants her to give it up, but Nancy doesn’t want but then gets a note from her father that he found Mrs. Elridge. It’s over.

Nancy spots Mr. Hollister at Silver Lake-even though he is supposed to be with her father in St. Louis. To make it even more intriguing, he jumps into the car that kidnapped Dr. Spires.

They rent a plane and search for the house.To get in Ned dresses up as a nurse and Nancy as an old lady. When they search the home they find Mrs. Elridge. It turns out hat the night before she was to make the donation she became sick. An they took her away in a plan to steal all her money.

They try to drive off to escape but are discovered. All are kidnapped and sent back to the sanitarium.

They stick the kids in the basement and they try to find a way out of their predicament. Ted finds an old X-Ray machine, and he hot-wires it to send out Morse Code.

Meanwhile, Carson Drew is bak and very suspicious of the lawyer as things do not match up with what he had said. He goes to Chief Tweedy when they get the message from Ted.They hurry out and go on their way to find them.

The crew is taking care of loose ends, when they are loading them into the car-Ned knocks into one who drops their gun. Nancy picks it up and shoots at all the guys scaring them off until the police arrive.

Wow. In the end all’s well that end’s well.

I recommend it, and the following films. It is extremely enjoyable.

To start Horrorfest VII from the beginning, go to It’s the End of the World: The Birds (1963)

For the previous post, go to Nowhere to Hyde: Scooby-Doo Where Are You? (1970)

For more Nancy Drew, go to A Haunting We Will Go: The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Mysteries (1977)

For more private detectives, go to The Murderer is Never the One You Initially Suspect: Crooked House (2017)

For more kidnapping, go to What Happened to Ally Palmer?: The Good Student (2006)

What Happened to Ally Palmer?: The Good Student (2006)

What happened to Ally Palmer?

So my friend picked up this movie and we planned on watching it together. I thought it was one I had seen the end of on TV. The story was of a girl who they think is dead but turns out to be alive and stays with a mortician. The townspeople thinking she was kidnapped when she stayed on purpose.

This wasn’t that movie. It was very interesting and a bit confusing.

So the film starts off as we follow Mr. Gibb, (Tim Daly) history teacher. He lives a sad and boring life-kids don’t respect him at the high school, he has no car, he lives in a dumpy trailer, life is blah.

His neighbor is super interested in him and does all she can to get his attention, but he ignores her.

One night he is watching TV at home and sees a car commercial for Phil Palmer’s used cars, staring his daughter Ally Palmer (Hayden Panettiere). In American Beauty-like fashion, he begins to fantasize about her and watch her.

One student who particularly hates him is Amber (Sarah Steele). She is constantly calling him a pervert and gross old man, even letting him know that she knows what “kind” of videos he rents from her job, the video rental place in town.

Mr. Gibb becomes so enamored with her he stops her after class one day to compliment her and then goes to the car lot to see her, purchasing the first car he spots. And how does he pay for it? He’s got a bunch of money socked away in a suitcase.

One day, Mr. Gibb is after school getting ready to leave when he witnesses an argument between Ally and her boyfriend, Brett (John Gallagher Jr.). She starts yelling “I can’t believe you did this” and sits in the hall crying. Brett is yelling at her angrily and slams his fist into the locker saying that it is her fault and she made him do this.

After Brett leaves, Mr. Gibb comes over and offers to give Ally a ride home. She goes with him and they talk a bit, she telling him that Brett and her were planning on leaving town together but he lost the money. Mr. Gibb gives her her recent test with an A on it. She kisses him in pleasure and then goes into the house.

What?

When she is inside we hear noises and see a masked man with a bowling bag kidnap her.

I know, for real.

Immediately, everyone suspects Mr. Gibb as he was the last one to admit to seeing her. Her dad doesn’t seem that broken up about it as he uses her disappearance to start a sale and makes a ton of money off her. In fact everyone is. Everyone has been selling things from prom tickets to lemonade to “support the search for Ally”.

People call Mr. Gibbs a ton of names and even spray paint pervert on his trailer. Things get worse when a picture of him and Ally kissing gets printed in the paper. Yes, Amber took a picture and put it out as she hates Mr. Gibbs.

Now this made no sense to me, why wasn’t anyone questioning Amber? What was she doing there the day Ally disappeared. And from the angle it was taken from she had to be hiding in the bushes on Ally’s property or in her house. Isn’t that weird? Why does no one care?

So which one is it?

Mr. Gibbs? Obsessed with Ally-could he have kidnapped her as he wanted her?

Phil Palmer, her dad? Was this all a scheme to make a ton of money?

Brett, the boyfriend? He wants money to escape the town, did he do this for ransom?

And run fast

Amber, the outsider? She has always been jealous ay Ally, is this her revenge? Or was it because she hates Mr. Gibbs so, that she wanted to frame him?

The Janitor? He’s creepy and when they show where Ally is being held, it looks school basementlike.

But there is more to all this people than meets the eye. But which one is the kidnapper? The clues could lead to anyone of them, but which are the red herring and which one the real deal?

***SPOLIER ALERT***

So I totally saw the Amber and Phil relationship from the way they talk in the video store. I thought she was going to be the kidnapper as she was there when the photo was taken, she has to be involved or seen something, but the movie didn’t go that way.

Instead the had Mr. Gibbs be the kidnapper which seemed weird to me. If he was gong to kidnap her why did he take her home? Why didn’t he try to establish a better alibi. How could he quickly change into the kidnapper’s clothes when he just saw her 2 mins before. Where did he even get those clothes when we only see him wear one outfit the entire movie. Most people say it was just on the spot that’s why he used a bowling bag, but if it was just on the spot then how did he have the drugs? You can’t be planned out enough to carry something but then working in the moment at the same time.

I think they wanted to pull one over on the audience and went with that twist when it actually makes no sense, And where was he keeping her? How did no one find her?

I thought the execution of the film was good until the end. It completely fell apart for me.

And what is with the title of the film? She has been struggling and finally earned an A. Is that what it means? In fact we know zero about Ally she is hardly in the film except for Mr. Gibbs lusting after her. Other than that we know nothing about what she likes and dislikes.  Its kinda weird.

Uhhhhhhh

To start Horrorfest VII from the beginning, go to It’s the End of the World: The Birds (1963)

For the previous post, go to They’re Moving From Planet to Planet…After They’ve Consumed Every Natural Resource They Move On…and We’re Next: Independence Day (1999)

For more Hayden Panettiere, go to Don’t F*** With the Original: Scre4m (2011)

For more films with disappearances, go to Have You Seen Megan Hipwell?: The Girl On the Train (2016)

It Looks…as Though We are Being Kidnapped: Five Were Missing

Day 22) V is for Vanished: Choose a book with a missing person

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Five Were Missing (originally published as Ransom) by Lois Duncan

So I have just discovered that Lois Duncan past away in June of this year. I would like to dedicate this post to her amazing style and storytelling.

And I truly mean it

And I truly mean it

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So as I have said before, I love libraries:

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I have always thought the library was the best place to be:

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I used to just roam the stacks looking for the next thing to read and become emotionally invested in.

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One day as I was looking, I found this book Ransom by Lois Duncan. I had never heard of Duncan before and had never read her books, so boy was I in for a surprise.

Wow

Wow

She has written all kinds of novels but is most known for her teenage suspense books. She is an amazing writer in how she crafts her characters. Just fantastic.

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After this I read Killing Mr. Griffen, and there are the rest of her books I am planning on reading and haven’t gotten to yet.

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Another reason why this book is so perfect to review is not only do I give you not one but FIVE missing people, and this year marks the book’s 50th anniversary!

Carl and her married!!!

Carl and her married!!!

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The day started off normal for the group of kids taking the bus from school to their neighborhoods. So as the bus takes the children to all their destinations, the driver makes a lot of mistakes.

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Bruce Kirtland offers to help the new bus driver, directing him to every stop.

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After that five kids remain, all headed for the housing development called Valley Gardens, the “rich” part of town. Even with Bruce, the new bus driver passes right by. He goes way past it and then heads off to pick up “a friend.”

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His friend turns out to be the muscle.

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And they are being kidnapped.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes these five will have to work together to figure a way out of this.

Not good

First we have Marianne Paget. Her father and mother divorced a few years ago, leaving her mother with nothing but the house. Her mother remarried, a boring newspaper writer, Rod Donovan, who is nothing like her father. Rod actually tried to pick her up from school, but she defiantly refused. The only bright spot in being kidnapped is that her mother will have to call her father to ask for money. This might cause them to be reunited, the Paget family again! That is, if she survives. But tough little Marianne will learn some family secrets during this trial.

Crap

Glenn Kirtland was taking the bus because his car was at the shop being worked on. If he had had it, him and Marianne would have been out of there. He’s not that upset about being kidnapped or the money; but the fact that he superjock and most popular guy is being kidnapped, like a wimp or loser. Glenn is set on getting out of there, no matter what, even though his parents have enough money.

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Bruce Kirtland, Glenn’s little brother, is a freshman and in most eyes; a “nobody”. He doesn’t care as he loves his brother and doesn’t mind being in his shadow. He pulls his strength from Glenn, but before this over he will learn a lot about his brother and himself.

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Jesse French is an army brat and has been all over the world. She has grown up mostly home-schooled and spending a lot of time by herself. Her mother wants her to have a normal life and friends, so they rent a house in Valley Gardens. Her mother is disappointed as nothing seems to have changed with Jesse.  But now Jesse will have to draw on all her inner strength, army training, to get through this ordeal. Especially as her family has no money to pay a ransom.

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Dexter Barton is from New York and also a recent transplant to the area. Having suffered from polio as a child, he cannot use his right side as well, the most trouble being in his arm. He fell in love with a girl, but when he overheard her cruel words about his body, it created a chip on his shoulder as he isolates himself from everyone. When his parents die in an accident, he is sent to live with his uncle in New Mexico, residing in Valley Gardens. His uncle is rich, but never around, something that doesn’t bother Dexter as he prefers being alone. But now, with his uncle being unreachable, how will he get out of here?

Suspense have to know

Will these kids make it out okay? Or will this be their last bus ride?

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Just fantastic! I loved it so much that when I came across an old copy I bought it instantly and read it thoroughly. I highly recommend that you all read it and hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

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To start the 30 Day Challenge from the beginning, go to It Was a Pleasure to Burn: Fahrenheit 451

For the previous post, go to People Have to Snatch at Happiness When They Can in This World. It is Always Easier to Lose Than to Find: O Pioneers!

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For more on kidnapping, go to But the Book, It Will Never Close…: Along Came a Spider (2001)

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As we are talking about kidnapping and trying to get away, what better song than Run, Rudolph, Run also known as Run, Run, Rudolph.

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This song was written by Johnny Marks, the one who wrote Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and Marvin Brodie. It was sung by Chuck Berry in 1958 and was #69 in the top 100 of 1958 and peaking on #36 on the UK list of 1963.

It has been in ton of Christmas films, like my favorites Home Alone:

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And Jingle All the Way:

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A great and fun, fast paced, rockin’ song.

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For more on Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, go to I Hate Those Kinds of People

For more Christmas carols, go to Le Fantôme de l’Opéra

Here’s to Another Year

So I’m sure you all have been wondering where I have been. Vacation?

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Kidnapped?

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Saving the world?

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I’ve actually been sick.

Ew Yuck Gross

Yeah, not fun. But now I am well and back in business.

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So today marks a very special day here at Jane Austen Runs My Life. It is our four-year anniversary.

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And with the fourth year, it is fruit or flowers. Now you all know how I typically feel about getting flowers:

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Yes, usually I don’t like them as a gift.

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I mean they are just so fleeting. I’d rather have something that will be sticking around long term.

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But in this case I’ll make an exception.

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In fact let’s get a little creative.

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So thank you all for a fun four years of Jane Austen, along with a bunch of other fun and interesting things. What will this next year bring?

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Who Knows!

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For more anniversary celebrations, go to Oh, Moses, Moses: Happy 60th Anniversary to The Ten Commandments

For more on my anniversaries, goto Year of the Anniversaries

We Now Return to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

So I’m sure some of you might be wondering what happened to my posting this weekend. Was I kidnapped?

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Was I attacked by Vampires?

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Did I have to save the world from total destruction?

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Well actually none of the above. I just had a really packed weekend and didn’t have time to do any blogging.

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I had some things that I was going to work on to post while I was away doing other things, but it just didn’t work out as planned. After all, life rarely ever does.

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I haven’t skipped a weekend like that in a long time.

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Well I am back now and have quite a few ideas floating around just waiting to be posted.

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T.N.T.

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Some of you might think I’m crazy, but what can I say. Rock ‘n Roll just moves me so.

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So today’s song I’m sure you’ve heard of. It has been in everything from Napoleon Dynamite trailers to That ’70’s Show to sport arenas, etc. It is:

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This song was released in 1976 and was written by Angus Young, Malcolm Young, and Bon Scott. This is one of my favorite AC/DC songs, although to be honest when I hear the song I don’t really pay attention to the lyrics as they go fast and I’m so caught up in the music.

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You might find this funny, but this song always makes me think of Animal from the muppets.

Maybe because how it talks about fighting…

Or that you should lock up the women…

I’m not quite sure.

Anyways, besides that I just love the music and intensity of the song. If I hear it once, it will be running through my mind for at least 24 hours.

Not only is it a great song, but one to play of you really need to let off some steam.

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(Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi)

See me ride out of the sunset
On your color TV screen
Out for all that I can get
If you know what I mean
Women to the left of me
And women to the right
Ain’t got no gun
Ain’t got no knife
Don’t you start no fight

‘Cause I’m T.N.T., I’m dynamite
(T.N.T.) and I’ll win the fight
(T.N.T.) I’m a power load
(T.N.T.) watch me explode

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I’m dirty, mean and mighty unclean
I’m a wanted man
Public enemy number one
Understand
So lock up your daughter
Lock up your wife
Lock up your back door
And run for your life
The man is back in town
So don’t you mess me ’round

‘Cause I’m T.N.T. I’m dynamite
(T.N.T.) and I’ll win the fight
(T.N.T.) I’m a power load
(T.N.T.) watch me explode

fliptablesangrysurprised

T.N.T., (oi, oi, oi)
T.N.T., (oi, oi, oi)
T.N.T., (oi, oi, oi)
T.N.T., (oi, oi, oi)
T.N.T., (oi, oi, oi), I’m dynamite
(T.N.T., oi, oi, oi), and I’ll win the fight,
(T.N.T., oi, oi, oi), I’m a power load
(T.N.T.), watch me explode!

totalrecallmachinedestroyargh

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For more of my favorite music, go to Portrait of a Fangirl

For more rock ‘n roll, go to Musical Madness

For more on Supernatural, go to A Real Life Saver

Monster Movie: Supernatural (2008)

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“All three monsters – the Dracula, Wolf Man, and the Mummy – all the same critter, which means we need to catch this freak before he “Creature from the Black Lagoon’s” somebody.”

So I know that I have had quite a few TV episodes this October. I know that I went a little overboard, but I wanted to include this anyway. You see I have been wanting to review this episode for a while, but felt that I couldn’t do it until I had reviewed the original The Wolf Man film. As I finally did it this October, it allowed me to finally be able to talk about this episode. This is my all-time favorite episode because it has what I love! Monster Movies!!

Universal Monster Movie Horror

Yep it parodies a series of Classic Horror Films: Dracula (1931)The Mummy (1932), Wolf Man (1941)In fact to further the homage to classic horror film, they even filmed the whole thing in black and white!

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So Supernatural is a show that like Grimm, every episode could be done for Horrorfest. The show consists of two hunter brothers, Dean and Sam Winchester, who travel all over the U.S. hunting ghosts, demons, vampires, werewolves, etc. As the seasons progress they get more focused on the battle between angels and demons and stopping the end of the world. It’s an awesome show.

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So this episode takes place in season 4. There have been a lot of angst and sadness

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(I won’t go into detail in case you haven’t watched it and want to) and the two brothers have finally been reunited.

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So Dean and San are driving into Pennsylvania on the trail of vampires. Sam is worried about the apocalypse, but Dean convinces him to stop off at an Oktoberfest to relax a bit. They find the Sheriff and introduce themselves as Agent Angus and Agent Young (homage to Angus Young of AC/DC).

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There they are told to speak to the witness Ed Brewer, but the Sheriff doesn’t put much stock in his testimony. They run into the very beautiful waitress Jaimie, who points them toward Ed. There Ed describes the Vampire as being the one out of the 1931 Dracula film.

SayWhat?

Yep, Dean and Sam are shocked, but Ed insists that it is true. The guy looked just like Bela Lugosi’s Dracula.

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In fact the vampire even uses the Transylvanian accent.

Sam and Dean confer and determine that it is probably a twilight-esque fan and that it isn’t really strange enough for them to stick around.

The night however, things change.

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A couple is making out in a car when a werewolf comes upon them and attacks.

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The next day, Sam and Dean talk to the girl who survived the attack, Anne-Marie, and discover that the killer looked just like Lon Chaney Jr. in the 1941 Wolf Man film.

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The sheriff also finds wolf hair on the dead body. Sam and Dean are confused as real werewolves don’t have wolf hair.

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That night a guard discovered an Egyptian sarcophagus at the docks. As the guard is about to call to figure out what is going on, the mummy rises from its grave.

Monster Movie Supernatural Mummy

The Mummy attacks the guard, strangling him.

The Winchesters go down to investigate and try and figure out what is going on. There they discover the sarcophagus is actually a movie prop that has been laced with dry ice. Dean leaves Sam to figure out a theory, while he heads down to meet up with Jamie for their date.

Meanwhile, Jamie has been waiting for a while and decides that Dean is most likely standing her up. She starts to walk home, when she runs into Dracula.

Blood!

Blood!

He calls her his reincarted love, and tries to kidnap her, but Jamie sprays him with pepper spray and then runs away…right into Dean. Dean gets a punch into Dracula

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But then finds himself overpowered by the vampire

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The vampire calls him “Harker” (reference to Jonathan Harker the fiancé of Mina [the woman Dracula tries to take]). Dracula tries to bite Dean, but he rips his ear off and a medallion. With his ear gone, Dracula runs away and jumps on his scooter.

Say What

Nope you heard my correctly

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Back at the bar, Dean shows Sam the ear and medallion.

“Dean Winchester: I, uh, pulled it off during the fight. Look at the label on the ribbon.

Sam Winchester: It’s a costume rental.

Dean Winchester: All three monsters – the Dracula, Wolf Man, and the Mummy – all the same critter, which means we need to catch this freak before he “Creature from the Black Lagoon‘s” somebody.”

They determine that they are dealing with a shapeshifter obsessed with classic film. Now if you have been reading my posts posts, such as Phantom of the MegaplexScream, and An American Werewolf in London, you know probably realize another reason why I love this episode. Yep, I can relate to the shapeshifter. I love classic film (especially horror) and I can completely understand him.

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Anyways, so Sam, being the scholar, recognizes the name Harker and figures that the shapeshifter is trying to recreate the 1931 film, Dean being Jonathan and Jamie being Mina. I guess that makes Sam, Van Helsing.

Count Dracula: Van Helsing.  [Van Helsing turns to face Count Dracula]  Count Dracula: Now that you have learned what you have learned, it would be well for you to return to your own country.  Van Helsing: I prefer to remain and protect those whom you would destroy.  Count Dracula: You are too late. My blood now flows through her veins. She will live through the centuries to come, as I have lived.  Van Helsing: Should you escape us, Dracula. We know how to save Miss Mina's soul if not her life.  Count Dracula: If she dies by day. But I shall see that she dies by night.  Van Helsing: And I will have Carfax Abbey torn down, stone by stone, excavated a mile around. I will find your earth-box and drive that stake through your heart.  Count Dracula: Come here.  [Dracula raises his hand to hypnotise Van Helsing]  Count Dracula: Come here...Your will is strong, Van Helsing.  [Van Helsing reaches out for his crucifix as Dracula looms toward him]  Count Dracula: More wolfbane?  Van Helsing: More effective than wolfbane, Count.  Count Dracula: Indeed.  [Dracula lunges towards Van Helsing. Van Helsing holds up the crucifix. Dracula snarls and turns away. Van Helsing, in triumph, puts away the crucifix]

The two figure that it must be someone who knows Jamie and is obsessed with her. When they question her, Jamie can’t think of a person who is strange or crazy. Lucy, her best friend and coworker, mentions that Ed recentlly moved to town and is the projectionist for the old theater. Plus he has a crush on Jamie.

suspicious

HIghly suspicious

Sam goes to investigate while Dean stays with Jamie. The two are drinking beer and having a deep conversation, when Lucy interrupts. She is on her way out the door, but Jamie invites her to stay and have a drink with them.

Back on the case, Sam has gone into the old theater and discovers Ed playing the pipe organ.

phantom-of-the-opera

He pulls on Ed’s ear, but find it fast in place.

“Sam Winchester: [tries to tear out Ed’s ear] It’s supposed to come off.

Ed Brewer: No, it’s not!”

OMG

This means Ed is not the shapeshifter!!! But if he isn’t…who is?

Teenage_werewolf

Back at the bar, Dean and Jaimie are getting groggy and falling asleep. Dean punches Lucy in the face, and discovers that Lucy is not “Lucy” but the shapeshifter.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And she has drugged the two of them. Dean tries to hold on, but faints.

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Dean wakes up and finds himself in lederhosen.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

In a Frankenstein-esque dungeon.

Clive, Colin (Frankenstein)_02

Now I really like what Dracula has to say here. It’s so poetic. “Life is small, meager, messy. The movies are grand, simple, elegant. I have chosen elegance.”, it’s very Movie Mason from The Phantom of the Megaplex.

MovieMagicPhantomoftheMegaplex

Anyways, Dracula is about to electrocute Dean and have a “movie” where the monster wins, when something interrupts him. The doorbell rings and the pizza delivery guy is there.

Pizza Delivery Guy: Uh, pizza delivery?

Dracula: Ah, you have brought a repast. Excellent. Continue to be of such service, and your life will be spared.

Pizza Delivery Guy: Uh-huh. That’ll be $15.50.

Dracula: Tell me…

Pizza Delivery Guy: Yeah?

Dracula: Is there garlic on this pizza?

Pizza Delivery Guy: I don’t know. Did you order garlic?

Dracula: No!

Pizza Delivery Guy: Then no. Look, mister, I’ve got four other deliveries to make. You want to just pay me the money so I can go?

Dracula: Of course. Yes. But I have a coupon.

draculaMonstermovieSupernaturalcoupon

And why not take a pizza break? Pizza is awesome.

I love Pizza

I love Pizza

So now that Dracula has food for later, he prepares to finish Harker/Dean, but is interrupted by Jamie waking up.

Meanwhile back at the bar, Sam has figured out that with Jamie and Dean missing it must be Lucy. He sets out for her house.

Back in the dungeon, Dracula wants Jamie to dress in the gown he bought her and eat pizza with him.

Just like the Mummy, trying to dress his "reincarnated bride" in his old love's clothes.

Just like the Mummy, trying to dress his “reincarnated bride” in his old love’s clothes.

Jamie is really freaked out as she has been drugged, was betryed by her best friend (as Dracula was pretending to be “Lucy”) and is stuck with a killer. Dracula tries to apologize and tells Jamie his backstory. He was called a monster from the beginning of his life and beat by his father. He found solace in monster movies, and achieves strength and confidence when taking their form.

This part actually reminded me a lot of The Phantom of the Opera. Here is a man who is disfigured and mistreated because of it. He knows only how to hate as he has been so mistreated. It makes you wonder how things might have been different if one person had loved him.

one word kind change day

While Dracula is reminiscing, unbeknownst to him Sam has slipped into the house and is skulking around the dungeon. Dracula knocks Jamie out and turns his attention to Sam and the freed Dean. They start fighting, with Sam being thrown through a fake door. Dean and Dracula are struggling to get the gun with silver bullets along with trying to knock the other out. Dean tries a groin attack and move for the gun, but Dracula throws him back. Before he can do anything else, Jamie, who has just woken up, grabs the gun and shoots him.

Gale-Randy-Billy-and-Sidney-scream-23148646-499-198

With Dracula conceding, that maybe this is how the “film” should end.

The next day Dean says good-bye to Jamie. The two brothers agree that’s it was nice doing some old-fashioned monster hunting, rather than the angels & demons stuff. They discuss what film they would want to live in as the episode ends.

TheEnd_Title_2

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

For the previous post, go to Murder is My Favorite Crime

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For more on Supernatural, go to Keep Clear of the Moor. Beware the Moon

For more on Dean Winchester, go to I’m Batman!

For more on Sam Winchester, go to You Can’t Have Just One!

For more horror parody, go to Who’s Afraid of Cory Wolf?

For more on Dracula, go to I Bid You Welcome

For more on The Mummy, go to Part X: The Movie List That Would Not Die

For more on The Wolf Man, go to Unleash the Savage Instincts that Lie Hidden Within

For more monster movies, go to What Is This Thing?

For more on Phantom of the Megaplex, go to Friday Night Fun

For more on recreating a scene, go to Carried Away

For more on pizza, go to Food, Food, Food