The Smart One and the Pretty One

The Smart One and the Pretty One by Claire LaZebnik

So I read this book years ago when my friend gave it to me. I kind of forgot about it, but then it came back to the front of my mind when I read The Dashwood Sisters Tell All. 

I meant to do a review of of it then, but then was distracted by other things-you know life.

But lately I have been watching Austentatious, and the character of Marianne made me think of this book again, so I figured why not review it?

The Nickerson sisters have always been known as the “smart” one and the “pretty” one. Ava Nickerson is the older sister, the smart one. She does everything right, is an attorney, pays bills on time, cares little about what she wears or her hairdos.

Elinor Dashwood

Lauren is the pretty one-drop dead gorgeous and a fashionista. She always has a boyfriend, going with her emotions, etc.

She isn’t very financially secure-she in a lot of debt as her credit cards are all maxed out.

Lauren screws up at work as she was trying to seduce a rich guy, only to find out he’s married. She loses her job and is a loss at what to do, or how to achieve her dream of owning her own shop. The creditors are at the door, when she gets news that her mother has been diagnosed with cancer. She packs up all her stuff and heads home.

See ya!

Back in Los Angeles, at her parent’s home, Lauren was looking through a “junk” drawer, and she finds a contract her mother and her mother’s best friend made a long time ago. The contract was signed by the mothers, and their seven year old children, that if by 30 the two were single, than a marriage will be done between Russell Markowitz and Ava.

As Lauren grows tired of her big sister’s financial lectures, budgeting, taxes, etc-she hunts Russell down to set them up. Russell is charming, handsome, twice-divorced, and runs a clothing company.

Not exactly marriage material…but that doesn’t stop Lauren. She’s sure that this is the best plan to loosen up her sister and get her perfect match.

So I didn’t like this book…

Ava is the responsible one who learns that she doesn’t just have to be “smart”, but can care about her appearance as well. She has been afraid to make a commitment to any guy, and finally starts opening her heart.

That wouldn’t be so bad, except the guy she picks is Russell, a jerk who cares about himself and the woman he can turn Ava into.

Yeah, he gives her a bunch of clothes and starts dictating her life and choices and how things will be worn.

And while Ava falls hard for him, there is no indication he really cares for her at all.

And for a book that is supposed to be about sisters, it seems more concentrated on the older sister’s storyline than equally showing them. Spontaneous, fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants Lauren pretty much stays the same: focused on her clothes and appearance. She does try to help her mother out with chemo, but still is irresponsible, bad at managing her time, etc. She never really learns about not spending too much, or the value of saving; just has one remorseful purchase. It was as if nothing changed her.

Ugh, I just can’t stand how all these modern adaptions portray Sense and Sensibility. People always make the Marianne character so dumb! In Austen’s portrayal she isn’t an airhead but young!!!! young, impressionable, romantic girl. Not a dunce!

She’s like most teenage girls-young, naive, romantic, think they know it all. So please, please, stop making her so dumb.

For more on Sense and Sensibility, go to Austen Avengers Assemble!

For more Sense and Sensibility variations, go to Big Girls Don’t Cry: Austentatious (2015)

For more books based on Jane Austen, go to Pride, Prejudice, and Personal Statements

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Gypsy Justice: Thinner (1996)

Thinner-1996-In-Hindi

Justice, ain’t about bringing back the dead, white man. Justice, is about justice. Your friend the policeman, your friend the judge, they make sure nothing happen to you. They keep you safe. But I make sure something happen to them. That justice, white man. Gypsy justice!

It’s that time of the year again. Our annual Stephen King Post. Now some of his film’s I do like, The Secret Window, Children of the Corn, The Shining, etc. Thinner is not one of them.

Now this doesn’t have all the usual tropes:

But it is kind of a lame story. Let’s get started before I give too much away.

So Billy Halleck is an obese lawyer.

jamaicainneatfooddinner

{Now the film is set in modern times, I just felt like using an old photo from a previous post.} Anyways, he lives with his wife Heidi and their daughter Linda. Heidi tries to get him to stop eating:

Heidi Halleck: Billy, you’ve got to stop eating like that. I want you to stop digging your grave with a spoon and fork.

But Billy can’t stop, he loves food too much.

Whatever.jpg cheese fries

Billy has just helped a Mafioso, Richie, get off from going to prison. Something his wife also finds fault in him.

Meanwhile, in the town Billy lives in, there is a carnival, one which is run by gypsies. One day his wife is distracting him, by doing oral sex, and he hits and kills a gypsy woman.

Spoke too soon

You need to leave gypsy women alone. They can lay some serious curses.

This gypsy woman, however, dies instantly. The death is ruled an accident and no charges filed. The dead woman’s 106 year old father, Taduz Lempke, is angry that Billy got off so easily and curses him, saying to him “Thinner”.

OMG

So Billy keeps losing more and more weight. No matter what he eats, he keeps getting thinner and thinner.

He's getting emaciated

He’s getting emaciated, almost as thin as this guy.

Heidi calls in a doctor, Dr. Mike Houston, who can’t find anything to help him. So the doctor decides to help himself to Billy’s wife.

howyoudoingfriendsjoey

Billy enlists the help of Richie and they begin to wage a war on the gypsies. Billy’s friend, the Judge who let him off, also gets cursed, “Lizard”. He commits suicide as he can’t stand looking at himself anymore. It all comes to a head when Richie kidnaps Taduz’s granddaughter, Gina, intending to kill her, but stopped by Bill.

escalatedquickly

Taduz finally agrees to lift the curse, but only if they promise to leave him and his family alone. With Billy’s agreement, Taduz makes a pie from Billy’s blood. Whoever eats the piewill die, and Billy will gain more weight.

Need Pie

Taduz tells Billy he should eat the pie himself, and die honorably, but Billy has decided that this pie is going toward the people he wants revenge on.

In this case it is fattening as it will help Bill gain weight.

In this case it is fattening as it will help Billy gain weight.

He calls his daughter and tells her that he is doing better and she should spend the night at a friend’s house. He then goes home and gives the pie to his cheating wife.

PieTwinPeaks

That night he puts the rest of the pie in the fridge and goes to sleep. The next day he wakes up and Heidi is dead.

AWESOME!!!

AWESOME!!!

But when he goes downstairs he discovers that Linda has eaten some of the pie. That means in his quest of selfishness, to get revenge on his wife and her lover, he has just killed his own daughter.

Jerk

He decides to head the gypsies advice and eat the pie, killing himself, when the doorbell rings. It’s the Dr. Houston, the man his wife was having an affair with!

Billy then decides to give this doctor the pie and complete his revenge.

Billy Halleck: Dr. Mikey! A bit early for a house call, isn’t it?

Dr. Mike Houston: Oh, Billy! It’s- it’s not what you think! I…

Billy Halleck: It’s okay, Dr. Mikey. I was acting like kind of a big jerk. But, everything’s fine with Heidi, I’m even starting to gain a little weight. In fact, I was just about to dig into this breakfast pie. Care to join me?

Dr. Mike Houston: I couldn’t possibly…

Billy Halleck: Oh, it’s no trouble at all…

[Dr. Mike Houston enters the house]

Billy Halleck: …white doctor from town [chuckles and shuts door]

Yeah, he seemed to get over the fact he killed his own daughter pretty quickly. What a jerk.

Hate YOu

So yeah, I didn’t like it. I thought it was boring, the main character unlikable, and I hated the fact that He KILLS his daughter he supposedly doted on and had an incredible bond with, and a second later he’s over it and planning revenge. A true dud King, a true dud.

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1996Thinner

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To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to I Do Think You Are Confused, Mrs. Bowman: Dangerous Crossing (1953)

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For more Stephen King films, go to There’s Nothing Out There. Nothing in the Mist: The Mist (2007)

For more on gypsies, go to Beast or Man: The Wolfman (2010)

The Accidental Bride

the accidental bride

The Accidental Bride: A Romantic Comedy by Janice Harayda

This book was recommended to me by Goodreads, based on one of the books I have read in the past (I can’t quite remember which one). It sounded interesting: a woman is planning on getting married, but a month before her wedding she starts having second thoughts. Is this really what she wants? As her family and friends are all forcing her hand, she turns to her love of Jane Austen to pull her through. Sounds great right?

howtheGrinchstoleChristmasWrongo

I HATED IT!

Hate YOu

It just was so, urgh the main character was too annoying.

Person hate talking

But let’s wait a moment before we go there. So the book is a Bridget Jones’ Diary style adaption of Pride and Prejudice. The main character is Lily Blair (LB like Lizzie Bennet) who is from an upper class but not old money super wealthy family. Her mother is a meddler (like Mrs. Bennet) who has dreamed of the day her daughter is married off for years (just like Mrs. Bennet). Lily’s fiancé is from an old, established family with a ton of money (third wealthiest in Ohio), and a lawyer (just like in Bridget Jones’ Diary), named Mark (just like BJD) Danforth [M.D like Mr. Darcy].

They'reExactlytheSame

There is even a woman after Mark named Caroline, just like in Pride and Prejudice when Caroline Bingley uses every trick she can to get Darcy, but he’s not interested.

uh-no-gif

So why did I dislike the book? Two words Lily Blair.

hate her

First of all she has no reason for breaking off the wedding. It’s not that she is unsure she wants to spend the rest of her life with Mark, or that she is unsure if she wants to stay in Ohio, or that she thinks her life is taking her in a new direction away from Mark, or that she has a great job offer, OR ANY OF THOSE THINGS! She just wakes up one morning and says she wants to cancel.

Say What

Yeah. With no thought to how this will affect her fiancé, family, or the fact that a ton of money has been spent. And the worst thing is that she doesn’t even feel remorse for this! She’s just like, “women don’t need to be married to be happy.” “Most marriages end in divorce anyway.” Where was this attitude months ago? How can you just do that to your fiancé without feeling bad or sorry or anything???!!!!!!!!!!!!

ThewomenBadnameBitch

I mean come on, that’s cruel, horrible, selfish, and immature.

And there is no reason to dump him. He’s kind, sweet, considerate, understanding, dependable, handsome…i.e:

Perfect Boyfriend

I mean it’s like when Meg Ryan dumped Bill Pullman in Sleepless in Seattle. Why would you? Bull Pullman’s such an amazingly sweet guy. It just makes no sense! And at least in Sleepless in Seattle, Meg Ryan felt bad about it. In here, Lily cares zip for how this affects anyone.

ThatThingYouDoBreakMyHeart

And then Lily starts complaining about her life. Her newspaper in New York was being downsized so she moved home, got a job there, an apartment, but oh no woe is me! I had to move home! I have to live in a “small town”. I have a rich, perfect, boyfriend. I come from a family with money. Life is so hard.

boohoo_zps058c9fe1

Come on,

Girl Please

Get over yourself. So what if New York didn’t turn out how you wanted it. Life is pretty amazing. I know plenty who would love that life. I would love that life.

So you see, she was just so darn annoying that I found the book a total dud.

Get it right

Ugh!

And Mark deserves way better than Lily.

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For more works based on Jane Austen, go to The Sense and Sensibility Screenplay & Diaries

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Fall For You

For more on Sleepless in Seattle, go to Part VIII: The Little Movie Line List

You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Boat: Jaws (1975)

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You’re gonna need a bigger boat…

Jaws really is revolutionary movie. It is an amazing piece of cinema that breaks a lot of previous horror film rules. It focuses on both the people and the creature they are trying to kill. The camera uses are unparalleled. Instead of constantly being shown the shark (as it malfunctioned a lot) it is filmed from the shark’s point of  [something down later in Friday the 13th (1980)] which adds to the terror of the film.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!

This also was the first “summer blockbuster” film. It opened on 409 screens nationwide (unusual for the time) and quickly became the highest grossing film of all time. Previous to Jaws, they would show the film on a few screens and then move the picture around. This mass-screening, all-over at the same time became so popular that it set the standard for what film companies do today. Jaws lost its place as the highest grossing film of all time in 1977 when Star Wars IV: A New Hope came out.

This film also brought a huge interest in sharks and marine biology. Now previous to this film you had monster movies and horror films that were about sea creatures attacking. Films such as The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms were you have some radioactive created creature that is ginormous and attacks the world. Or the mythological fishman from The Creature from the Black LagoonGodzilla, being another radioactively changed creature that is trying to destroy or protect the city. It Came From Beneath the Sea a giant octopus that causes havoc and destruction. The Monster that Challenged the World where giant mollusks come out of a crevice in the ground and try to kill everyone. But have you noticed something? All of these are large creatures, most of the time accidentally or purposely genetically altered. Or fake, such as the fishman. None of these were an actual creature that you could come into contact with…like a great white shark. Not only is Bruce (the shark in the film, named after Steven Spielberg’s lawyer) something real and normal-sized; but he’s just freaky! The book and the film both present actual data (although more studies proved some of the behavior previously associated with great whites are false) and an actual creature you could come upon. I mean great white sharks have over 300 teeth, they can get to be over 21 feet long, they are pretty fast swimmers, can jump out of the water, and are constant eating machines. How could you not be afraid?

Shark Jaws

But just like Spielberg’s other film Jurassic Park made dinosaurs the “it” thing (and they have been ever since, although never as on top as in the ’90s) Jaws made sharks really cool. And they remain so. I remember back in grade school sharks were just so awesome! We had a guy come to our class that did a whole presentation on sharks, and everyone was riveted. And people still remain so. Sharks will never stop being cool. I mean after all, ever summer we have a week devoted to them, Shark Week, on the Discovery channel. Buzzfeed even did a quiz on “What Type of Shark are You”. And did I take this quiz  you may ask? You bet I did!

To see what type you are, go here.

To see what type you are, go here.

Yep, Jaws is pretty amazing. So I’m sure you are now ready for the review, but I’m not about to go there just yet. So Jaws is based on the book by the same name, authored by Peter Benchley. The book was okay, but I preferred the movie. Unlike the book Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton; Jaws the book doesn’t hold a candle to the film version. This mostly has to do with the way they create the characters in the book. Hooper in the film is a an arrogant-rich kid, but you like him because he really gets involved in his work, and loses some of that stigma as the film progresses. In the book he is always annoying and he has an affair with Brody’s wife. The whole affair took away from the storyline and seemed tossed in, rather than attempting to flow.

Now the film on the other hand, follow the story pretty closely, but takes out the extra action not really needed. Plus the people they chose where just perfect. Roy Scheider was an amazing Chief Brody, balancing being a tough police chief, with a scared i-don’t-know-what-to-do everyday person. Richard Dreyfuss, as I mentioned earlier, smoked it as Hooper the marine biologist/rich kid. And Robert Shaw. No one will ever hold a candle to your Quint, no matter how the world may try.

thats-how-its-done

So now let’s get back to film review-wait, wait wait. Let me say one last thing. So it feels really weird to be talking about this film without mentioning a few more memories. So let me say I have seen every Jaws film created, even the incredibly horrible ones (as pretty much each sequel was). I actually watched them all at a really young age with my older sister Paige. They were doing a movie marathon and we sat down and saw them all (which took a long time as these are not short films). When I was older, I actually couldn’t remember the finer points of the film, the biggest thing that stuck in my mind was the SeaWorld underwater tunnels and shark attack in Jaws 3-D.

Now every 4th of July I used to do the same thing. I would watch the Twilight Zone marathons that they would show on the SciFi, now SyFy, channel. (I know, I know. I’m a huge fan, but have yet to review any episode for a Horrorfest. I promise I will do at least one next year.) SyFy stopped doing this for a while (they have since brought it back but every year is iffy). Now AMC does some movie marathons on the 4th of July that usually had some patriotic feeling (like Rocky). One year they did a Jaws marathon, as the 4th of July plays a huge role in the film. I watched it that year and loved it all over again. Now my tradition trades off between Twilight Zone and Jaws every 4th of July.

love it

So now we are seriously back on to the film review.

Shark Jaws

First let’s set the mood. It is the summer of 1975. Many families, young adults, teens, etc. are vacationing at beaches. Amity Island (where our story takes place) is one such beach. It is located on the east coast (a sort of Martha’s Vineyard that poor and rich can afford). On this particular night there are quite a few college age kids having bonfires on the beach. They are drinking beer, toking up (it is the ’70s), etc. One guy, Tom Cassidy, spots a blonde, Chrissie. The two run off away from the crowd to “be alone”.

Mhm great gatsby

As they get far from the crowds, Chrissie begins stripping and invites Tom in for some moonlight skinny dipping. She dives in right away and Tom tries to follow. However, he is far too bombed and collapses on the beach.

Chrissie is unaware and continues to swim. This is the last swim she will ever take.

The next day we are introduced to Martin Brody, the new Chief of Police. Brody is a native of New York City, but he and his family moved out to take over the Amity Island police force as they thought it would be easier, simpler and less deadly.

the irony iron

Anyways, we’ll get into that later. So Chief Brody (Scheider) has been called to go looking for Chrissie. He and his deputy Hendricks, go down to the beach to search for clues. It doesn’t take them long until they discover her corpse.

victim

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back at the police station he gets asked to deal with the usual cases of the day; kids karate chopping down fences and other stuff. It seems to be business as usual until the report comes back. It states Shark Attack.

What!

Immediately, Brodie runs to the hardware store to pick up materials to make sign to close the beaches.

jawsrideclosed

However, the Mayor doesn’t like that. He knows that if word gets around that there are sharks in the water he can say good-bye to all those summer dollars.

Good-bye

Good-bye

Without that money, the winter will be hard on everyone. These people depend on the summer dollars to keep the island going year round. The Mayor convinces the coroner to “take a second look” of which causes the coroner to determine he had made “a mistake”. There was no shark attack, just a boating accident as she swam into a propeller.

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

Since that is the decision, Brody can’t do anything but allow the beaches to remain open. But this is all against his better judgement.

BadFeelings

But hey, he is a newcomer that lives in a small town. He has to play the politics. Even if they have dire consequences.

dun-dun-duuuun

So as time goes on more tourists come to the island. The beaches are stock full of visitors. Brody is worried and nervously scans the water. Everything is fine…until it isn’t.

I just love that scene when they zoom into Brodie’s face. It is fantastic. So Bruce sure did a number.

Shark Jaws

After her son’s death, Mrs. Kitner issues a $3000 reward for the capture of the shark. The town holds a meeting in which Brody lets them know he contacted someone from the Oceanographic Institute for advice. Brody wants to close down the beaches, but no one will listen. The fighting is interrupted by Quint, in one of the best scenes.

So great it was spoofed:

Brody goes home and orders his children to go nowhere near the water, even though his son Michael just got a new boat. Brody’s wife Ellen thinks he is overreacting, that is until she looks at the pictures in his shark book. She then firmly decides that staying out of the water is a great idea.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With such a high bounty, everyone wants to kill the shark. Expert fishermen from all over. Average joes. Everybody.

Matt Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss) comes to town, as he is the person from the Oceanographic Institute. He has an interesting background. Hooper was a rich boy that was into science and became a marine biologist. This can often be something that is hard to fund, so his parents + trust fund really come in handy.

Anyways, once Brody finds out who he is, has has him take a look at the remains.

“[Hooper is examining the remains of the first victim – describes the post-mortem into his tape recorder]

Hooper: The height and weight of the victim can only be estimated from the partial remains. The torso has been severed in mid-thorax; there are no major organs remaining…Right arm has been severed above the elbow with massive tissue loss in the upper musculature… partially denuded bone remaining…[to the m.e. and Brody] This was no boat accident! [to Brody] Did you notify the Coast Guard about this?

Brody: No. It was only local jurisdiction.

Hooper: [continues post-mortem] The left arm, head, shoulders, sternum and portions of the rib cage are intact…[to Brody] Do not smoke in here, thank you very much. [lifts up the severed arm] This is what happens. It indicates the non-frenzied feeding of a large squalus – possibly Longimanus or Isurus glauca. Now… the enormous amount of tissue loss prevents any detailed analysis; however the attacking squalus must be considerably larger than any normal squalus found in these waters. Didn’t you get on a boat and check out these waters?

Brody: No.

Hooper: Well, this is not a boat accident! And it wasn’t any propeller; and it wasn’t any coral reef; and it wasn’t Jack the Ripper! It was a shark.

Conclusion: Shark

Shark Jaws

Meanwhile, out on the ocean, some fishermen have caught a large shark. Everyone is happy to see it and that the reign of terror is over. The monster has been slain.

Double double yay

Hooper steps up to investigate the shark:

Jaws-wrong-shark-dreyfuss-scheider

And tells everyone that it is the wrong shark. It is a tiger shark, not a great white. The bite radius is all wrong. They decide to keep the beaches closed until they can cut him open and see if the remains are inside it. Before they leave, Mrs. Kinter arrives and  slaps Brody across the face. She heard about the deaths and how they suspected sharks were in the area and blames Brody for everything.

Now Brody just takes this as he blames himself, but I always hated that. It wasn’t his fault! He wanted to stop them from keeping the beaches open. It was the greedy, evil mayor who wouldn’t listen.

Mayor from Buffy the vampire slayer

Mayor from Buffy the vampire slayer

Well, I guess he could be much worse.

So Hooper joins the Brody clan for dinner. Now in the book, Ellen knew Hooper’s older brother and the two just spent the time reminiscing. They later had an affair. Luckily Speilberg was smart enough to cut that out, and they instead discuss the situation. Hooper explains that a rogue shark will often claim territory to an area where the feeding is good and will remain there until the food source is gone. In order to protect the town, they decide they need to get down there and cut that shark open.

No human remains means that the real shark is out there. Bruce? Where are you hiding?

da dum Jaws

Here I am!

Here I am!

Hooper decides they have to go out that night as the Great White Shark is a night feeder. Now Brody hates the water, as we mentioned earlier, but goes out with Hooper. Using Hooper’s fancy equipment, they pick up a fishing boat, that Brody recognizes as Ben Gardner’s. Hooper dives under and finds one big surprise.

The next morning Brody and Hooper try to get the Mayor to listen to them, but all the Mayor is thinking about is the graffiti on the Amity Island billboard.

Sign from Universal Studios Backstage Tour

Sign from Universal Studios Backstage Tour

Hooper has figured out that the shark that is attacking is a great white. The evidence all points to it and they need to close the beaches down. But the mayor won’t listen to him. Hooper lost the Great White Shark tooth he found and the Mayor sees it as tooo convinent. He believes that Hooper is just trying to spread a sensation as he wants to be written up in the National Geographic or something. However, that’s not the real truth. To be honest, the Mayor is just thinking about making money over saving lives.

Bad things happen when you don't listen

Bad things happen when you don’t listen

July 4th the beaches are flooded. This is not good, not good at all. Brody, Hooper, and the cops are constantly patrolling the beaches, but all are on edge as they are waiting…waiting for the shark to attack.

come on

Michael, Brody’s son, wants to go in the water, but Brody won’t let him. He tells him to go to the estuary instead as it is safer.

You never learn

You never learn

Suddenly a shark fin appears in the water

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!

But it turns out to be just a prank. Some stupid kids decided to dress as a shark. Seriously guys, what were you thinking?

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

While everyone is watching this and dealing with it…not too far away something happens.

da dum Jaws

A girl painting down by the estuary see’s a shark. She starts crying out the word, but most think it is a hoax. Brody starts to head over, but when he hears his son is down there he runs like crazy.

Now this is a great scene but I can’t find a good clip of it online. You’ll just have to watch the film! So Michael and his friends get capsized along with another guy. The shark devours tons of people, including the man that tried to help them.

Here I am!

Here I am!

Michael makes it out okay, but suffers severely from shock. Brody takes him to the hospital and yells at the Mayor, demanding that he pay all of Quints commands and let’s him kill the shark.

So the three set out to catch that fish, even though they face some issues. Quint wants to go it alone, but Brody insists that he and Hooper have to come along. Quints dislikes Hooper as he sees him as some rich boy having fun with daddy’s money, not a real fisherman or worker like Quint. Quint also dislikes having Brody as he knows nothing about fish or fishing, but at least he’s not afraid to get his hands dirty. Hooper is tired of the all the “you don’t know nothing, kid” crap he is getting from Quint and also annoyed at Brody. Brody has a fear of the water that he is trying to overcome, managing two grown men who are acting like children, and is afraid that he might not make it home to see family. There is a lot of stuff going on.

What!

 Once at sea they start getting ready for the hunt. Baiting lines. Chumming the water. And that is when we have the most famous lines from the film uttered. (You know it wasn’t even scripted. Scheider just uttered it in the heat of the moment.)

And that is when the real hunting begins!

That night the guys get drunk and start bonding. Singing drinking songs. Comparing scars and wounds. You know, the typical guy stuff. But that’s when things get serious and Quint describes his hatred for sharks.

At this moment, its not about the money. It’s not about the fame. Quint has become Captain Ahab, and he wants his whale…or shark in this case.

In fact this is one of the most dramatic scenes in the film as you get the underlying reason why this is so important to him. Of course as it is one of the most famous scenes, it has to be parodied.

Back to the film. The next day the hunt continues. They try and take the shark but Bruce proves to more powerful than they expected. They tried to reel it on, but it nearly capsized the Orca. Hooper decides to be lowered down in a shark cage to shoot Bruce with a harpoon filled with strychnine nitrate.

Hooper manages to escape the shark. This was were he was supposed to die, but then Speilberg changed his mind. After attacking Hooper, Bruce decides to go after the ship.

Jaws Shark attack

Pic of the shark from the Universal Backstage Tour ride

He crushes it and causes it to lean toward him. Brody and Quint struggle to hold on, but Quint loses his grip and finds himself in the belly of the beast.

jaws-6

Brody takes on killing the shark all by himself. This is why Brody is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One Shark Week on Discovery channel they actually tested out everything in the film. They discovered that if you shot a tank from the 1970s you could blow up a shark. You just have to shoot it right.

Hooper finally gets his act together and meets up with Brody, the two creating a raft and swimming off in the distance.

“I used to be afraid of the water,” Brody admits.

“I can’t imagine why,” Hooper replies.

TheEnd_Title_2

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But that’s not the end of the post. Oh, no we still have a bit more to cover. 🙂

So for my 20th birthday, my parents told me we could do whatever I wanted. It was the last time they were going to throw a party for me. I really wanted to go to Disneyland as the last time I had gone was when I was 12 (I went recently and will do a post on what it was like later). I decided on Universal Studios as it was much cheaper, and they were having a special for their anniversary that you buy a pass, you get in free for the year! Sweet!

So as we entered the gates, I was asked by a worker to fill out a survey for a free gift. You know me and free.

free stuff

So I did and we got to skip the lines for the Backstage Studio Tour! Whooooooooooo!!!!!

Double double yay

So you see all kinds of cool things on that tour, but I’m not going to speak on everything. We gotta stay Jaws focused here. So at one point we drive to Amity Island.

Sign from Universal Studios Backstage Tour

Sign from Universal Studios Backstage Tour

We see the fake shark that they thought was Bruce but wasn’t.

Jaws

Then we things get intense. Bruce attacks!

Jaws Shark attack

There were actually three Bruces created for the film. The first one is passed along museums, the second is at Universal studios, and the third privately owned. After Bruce attacks, they blow him up!

Jaws

It’s so intense! The flames feel so close! It’s AWESOME!

love it

Later I got to see Brody’s actual costume in the Universal Pictures Museum (that’s where I saw the Marty McFly one from Back to the Future: Part III).

Jaws

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But that’s not the end! So the other day a friend and I were discussing Jaws and Bruce’s motives.

Anjelica: Is this a horror movie? Or is it an animal, drama/history movie about a misunderstood shark that only wants hugs from others, but his eating disorder and anger issues gets in the way?

Me: Horror film. He is purposely hunting down Brody and his family, as seen in the sequels.

Anjelica: “Hunting down” or passionately pursuing the family he always wanted to have. Jaws should just befriend, Orca: The Killer Whale. lol

Me: I have changed my view on Bruce the shark. So Quint was in a shark attack but survived. He was supposed to die in it but somehow cheated death. Bruce is a supernatural entity (that’s why he can’t really die and comes back in the 3 sequels) in the guise of a shark that has been hunting him down to right that past wrong. He finally succeeds in killing him and is supposed to take Hooper too (as he dies in the book and original draft of the script) but Brody gets in the way. In fact Brody manages to destroy his “earthly form”. Then Bruce becomes angry and falls from his post (like Davy Jones in the Pirates films) and starts hunting for Brody, along with taking down all of his family.

So there we have it. I have officially joined the dark side. I have fully become a tumblr with that last comment.

Star Wars Dark side power Darth vader

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So there we go. One of the best horror films that have affected us as people so strongly. People are afraid to swim because of this movie. Ever summer one week on the Discovery Channel is devoted to sharks. The theme is so AWESOME!!!!! I mean every time you go in water you have to hum it.

Jaws

It is one amazing film. If you haven’t seen it, watch it. If you have seen it, watch it again.

Jaws

And that’s the real end. I swear. Hope you enjoyed it!

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

For the previous post, go to Monster Movie

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For more on Jaws, go to Part X: The Movie List That Would Not Die

For more shark attacks, go to For All the Men Who Wonder What It’s Like

For more on hunting a monster, go to Let Them Fight

For more monster movies, go to Keep Clear Of the Moor. Beware the Moon

For more films based on a book, go to Murder is My Favorite Crime

For more films that spanned sequels, go to You Will Die in Seven Days

For more in Universal Studios, go to There Are Many Strange Legends in the Amazon

For more quizzes, go to I’m Batman!

For more on Star Wars, go to Part IX: Adventures in Movie Lines

For more Buffy the Vampire Slayer, go to Every Time I Bring a Girl Over, You Try to Eat Her!

A Hunky Helping of a Manwich

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Mmm, mmm, mmm! Doesn’t this look tasty? What a hearty & hunky helping. My favorite sandwich is a Manwich! LOL J/k But this is a true masterpiece, not only because it is made up with characters from some of the best Masterpiece shows, but because they chose three very gorgeous men, with their own unique personalities to give this sandwich some real zest.

The first layer is Sherlock Holmes from the show Sherlock, and played by the very interesting Benedict Cumberbatch. In the modern twist of the old tale, Sherlock is just as intelligent, crime-solving, handsome self. However, this piece has a bit of a bite as Sherlock can be cold, calculated, and just plain rude at times.

Next we have Matthew Crawley from Downton Abbey, played by Dan Stevens. Matthew is the male version of the Cinderella story, as he is a regular guy, working as a lawyer; who ends up becoming the next in line to inherit an earldom and the home Downton Abbey. Not only is he intelligent, charming, and attractive; but Matthew is also sweet, humble, unassuming, relaxed, and open to modern views. (Unfortunately Stevens wanted to do other things and his character was killed off in season 2) But still, a tantilizing choice.

And to crown our hunky helping is Mr. Darcy from Pride & Prejudice (1995), played by the very handsome Colin Firth. Mr. Darcy the stubborn and prideful  gentleman, who is revealed to have a heart of gold is a perfect topping on this extraordinary sandwich. Yummy! 🙂 If only I could get all three guys in real life. Haha J/K.

For other Mr. Darcy posts go to Mr. Darcy Talked to Me

For more on Colin Firth go to 25 Films of Christmas

For more on Downtown Abbey go to There are Some People…and Then There’s Me

I Love You Anyway: The Notebook (2004)

Romantic Moment #11

The Notebook

The Notebook (2004)

So as I told you all last year when I chose A Walk to Remember to include on my Valentine’s Day Romantic Moments list, that I am not a big Nicholas Sparks fan. In fact the only book/movie that I like (actually Love) is A Walk to Remember.  I’ve never been interested in his other works, and I actually hate  the Notebook. Even though I adore Rachel McAdams and think she is a fantastic actress, I dislike it, A LOT. So why am I including it on this list? You’ll have to read on to find out.

So onwards. The movie begins at a nursing home where an elderly man is reading a romantic story from his notebook to a woman.

The story is set in June of 1940 in South Carolina. A country boy, Noah Calhoun (Ryan Gosling), has fallen for a heiress Allie Hamilton (Rachel McAdams). The two spend the summer together, with Noah taking Allie to an abanded house and promising to buy and redo for her. Allie’s parents don’t like Noah and forbid her to see him. The two break up and her family returns to Charleston.

Noah enlists in  World War II and Allie becomes a nurse. At the hospital Allie meets Lon Hammond, Jr. (James Marsden), a handsome, kind, lawyer who is also from Old Money. They date and become engaged.

Meanwhile, Noah has returned from the war and buys the abandoned house, redoing it for Allie. He had seen her in Charleston with Lon, and has convinced himself that by fixing the house he will win her and her love. Allie sees an article about his completed renovation in the newspaper and visits him.

In the present, we are shown that the woman is Allie who suffers from  dementia and her husband is the man reading her their story, but sadly, Allie doesn’t recognize him.

Back in the ’40s, even though she is engaged Allie resumes her relationship with Noah. Allie’s mom comes by and gives her a talking to, telling her Lon has come as well. Allie talks to Lon telling him what happened and Lon, while unhappy, tells her that he loves her and wants to be with her still. Allie is still unsure who she wants.

Back in present day, Allie regains her memory and we see that the man she is with is Noah. She left Lon and her and Noah were married. Allie tells Noah to continue reading the notebook, as it will always bring her back. Allie then relapses, panicking as she does not recognize who is hugging her.  That same night Noah is hospitalised. After he is released from the hospital, Noah goes to Allie’s room and finds her lucid. After telling each other that they love one another, they both go to sleep in Allie’s bed. The next morning, a nurse finds them dead in each other’s arms.

Most Romantic Moment:

So I know that many of you may not agree with my choice of a romantic moment, and that is fine with me. This my blog, and I put what I want on it and I know not everyone will agree with me or like what I post and I’m okay with that.

So the moment I find most romantic is when Lon finds out that Allie cheated on him and still wants to marry her.

OMG

I know, I know; not the most conventional moment , but I personally find it extremely romantic. Here is this guy that loves this girl and is prepared to marry her and have a life together, only to find out that she cheated on him with a past boyfriend! Cheated! Now the worst things I believe you could ever do to a person is 1) Lead them on, 2) Lie, and 3) Cheat on them. And out of all of these cheating’s the ultimate treason. She broke his heart, she threw it into the shredder. And how does he respond?

Lon: [to Allie] The way I see it, I got three choices. One, I can shoot him. Two, I can kick the crap out of him. Or three, I leave you. Well, all that’s no good. You see, ’cause none of those options get me you. In spite of everything, I love you.

This girl cheated on him, she broke his heart and he doesn’t get mad or angry, like I would have been. I would have been all kinds of crazy if I found out the person I was engaged to cheated on me. Like Kelly Clarkson in Since You Been Gone or Madea.

But does Lon do this? Does he freak out or scream or get angry? No, no, nope. He tells her he still loves her and wants to continue spending the rest of his life with her. He does nothing but waits for her to decide who she wants. That’s real love. He’s like the guy in “Keep on Loving You“.

I know I’m like the only one, but I totally would have picked Lon.

(Start at 8:17)