Bowled Over

So last week I wrote a post, Flirting With Disaster, on how awful I am with flirting. I also mentioned that this guy Verne came over and tried to flirt with me, but had a major fail. Well the story didn’t end there.

The other day I went bowling with some friends. We were having fun and hanging out. Everyone was making fun of my unique bowling style, which involves the bowling ball going reeeeallllly sloooooow. I mean it goes as slow as the girl in the Disney film Alley Cats Strike!

So my turn came up and I went up to the ball return, looking for the one I had been using when all of a sudden the a guy from the group next to us says:

“Hey I see you have a mustang on your shirt. Do you like to ride in them?”

I look up to see what kind of loser is trying to come on to me with that lame line and then it hits me………………………..

It’s VERNE!

Verne, I want to be a lawyer Verne. The Verne who wouldn’t leave me alone that day!

I was so shocked at running into him again, that I shouted you’re VERN! Then he realized who I was.

Unfortunately, sparking his memory of me didn’t really help me out that night.He told me that he had been high that whole day and actually remembered very little about me. To “make up” for this he spent the rest of the night trying to get to know me.

BoothBonesNo bowlingtonight

I also found out from him that not only did he like to get high all the time, but he liked to party all the time. I am just not into guys who just want to kill off their brain cells with drugs and alcohol, oh no not for me.

Then he tells me that he is going to be doing maintenance, “because he is really good with his hands”.

UGH! Gag Me!

ew! Gross Yuck

Like what part of that line am I really supposed to find attractive?

No

So at the end of the night he tells me he’s going home but would like to get my number.

In my head I’m like

So I’m about to tell him I don’t give my number out to strange guys who party but I only get as far as:

I can’t. I don’t give out my number because…

When he interrupts me and says:

Oh you have a boyfriend?

I know it’s wrong to lie, but I saw this as an easy out and went with it

Well kinda, yeah I do. Sorry! 

Just call me Pinocchio

Hey I could have been mean like I’ve been with other guys. I figured this lie wasn’t too painful. Hopefully my nose doesn’t start growing, I think it is just right as it is.

But that is not the end of it. Check out Bad Penny

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For more on Alley Cats Strike, go to Friday Night Fun

For more on bowling, go to This Isn’t Love, This is Ecstasy

For more of my modern life events, go to Cinderelly, Cinderelly

For more on Disney, go to What’s Your Line

Flirting With Disaster

Let me just say that I am terrible at flirting…

seductive

It actually pretty ironic, because if I know a guy doesn’t like me, or I’m just hanging out with guys talking to them, people say I flirt like crazy; that I’m a natural at it. Unfortunately I can’t actually willingly flirt.

The worst is when a guy tries to flirt with me. I’m am the worst person to try to flirt with. Instead of being all cute back, I just become extremely unresponsive. It’s an automatic reaction.

Flirting&FailingLoving WithEyesBoyMeetsWorld

The other day I was sitting reading, while waiting to meet with a friend, and this guy comes out and says to me

Whoa! What a BIG-A** BOOK!”

He then decided to sit across from  me and started telling me all kind of things about himself, intent on impressing me.

Im my head I was like “Who is this guy?”

TalkWhenREading

So his name was Verne, he is from the San Francisco area, and wants to be a lawyer. That last fact he repeated constantly, telling me over and over again how he was going to be a lawyer, what type, how cool it will be, the money that he will be making…

I just sat there nodding my head, and saying ok in a neutral tone. I was not very impressed.

I_don't_care

Eventually my friend came and claimed her seat, forcing him to leave and continue on his way.

This is my usual MO, neutral tone, total ice queen, hardly offering any details myself. I always feel sorry for the poor suckers that try to flirt with me. I’ve never met a guy who was able to get me reciprocate back. I guess I’m just a Mr. Darcy, too cool to others.

No expression on the face.

The story doesn’t end there. To continue to part two go to Bowled Over.

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For more on Pride and Prejudice, go to Darcy’s Dream Date

For more on Mr. Darcy, go to Mr. Darcy: Man of Dreams

For more on Hercules, go to Doors of Death

For more on Disney, go to Cinderelly, Cinderelly

For more on Harry Potter, go to Even After All This Time

For more on everyday life, go to Where Or Where Can It Be?