A Trip to the Mall Turns into the Twilight Zone

So if you’ve been around since the very, very beginning of the creation of this blog, then you will remember that this isn’t my first blog. You see, I read this book Considering Lily, and the main character in there reminded me of myself and made me want to create a blog like she does. My friend Elaine also encouraged me after we had a particularly strange encounter at the mall. That blog was called My Life is a Movie. However, I stupidly forgot to bookmark the page and when I tried to go back to write more on that blog I could not find it at all. I also discovered that there are many, many, many, many blogs who share that name or a variation of it. I gave up and decided blogging wasn’t for me. That is until six months later, after I had finished reading Emma. I loved the book and saw so many similarities that I decided to create a blog, and that dear readers is how Jane Austen Runs My Life was born.

cropped-jatitle2.jpgAnd, that in case you were all wondering, is why it is not only about Jane Austen. That’s how this blog started out, but it quickly expanded into other films and books. However, my Austiniteness will always be the core of these blogs.

Anyways, so what about this Twilight Zone title? Well, I was cleaning through some files and I found two pics I had created and saved from that orginal blog and story. I decided to treat you all with this time capsule as I try and relate this adventure that happened two years ago. I’m so sorry of I leave anything out. So now we shall take a seat in my time machine Delorean and  go back to February 10 or 11 2012 (I know it was before V-Day)

Gonna Go Back in Time!

Since this is a past memory, it must be written in italics. You know, kinda like an old-fashioned diary or something.

So the other day my friend Elaine and I decided that we would go to the mall. She wanted to go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond for something and I wanted to pick something up from Bare Escentuals. She decided to put on her GPS, but there was just one problem. GPSs HATE ME! Every time I get in a car with one we end up in the middle of nowhere, we go in the opposite direction, the GPS malfunctions, takes us through the creepiest areas, etc. I’m not kidding, it is literally every time. I mean once my friend went to the Super Target in the next town, and the next week was going to give me and two of our other friends a ride. Even though she had saved the route from the week before, this next time because I was in the car it took us as far away as possible, even though it said it was saving the exact route.

So we are driving around, when the GPS tells us it has to recalculate. We both look at each other:

Say What

Like what the heck GPS you had nooo reason to recalculate. We didn’t make any wrong turns, or do anything to screw you up. What are you doing? And the little evil thing decided that it was  going to keep doing that to us.

GPS

It just kept doing that nonstop! Recalculate, recalculate, recalculate, again and again and again!!! It made both of annoyed, but I just wanted to take that thing and toss it out the window.

ARRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!

ARRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!

You know I really didn’t like that movie, but I use this screenshot a loooot. It really expresses my emotions sometimes.

So, of course I didn’t toss the GPS, it belonged to my friend. Instead we had to use a mixture of her phone GPS and our memory of where we thought the mall was. We ended up getting there and thought, well everything will be fine and normal now, right? WRONG!!!!

So we park the car and head into Forever 21 so that we could get into the mall and get the items we needed. As we enter Forever 21 we look around the store, and look, and look, and look; and can’t find a way out!

AHHHHHHH!!!!

AHHHHHHH!!!!

I am serious there is NO WAY OUT!  We can’t even find the way we entered. I’m like I”M STUCK IN HERE FOREVER!!!!!!! THAT’S WHY IT’S CALLED FOREVER 21, I WILL BE IN HERE FOR 21 YEARS!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so let’s get serious. I felt like I was going to be stuck in there, but not for years. Just hours. So the reason we couldn’t find a way out was that it turns out that they had all these mirrors hanging strategically in front of the doors, so unless you looked at the doors from an angle you would only see the clothes reflected back, therefore leaving one to think the store extended farther than it did, and that there was no way out.

Whoever designed that store was like Jigsaw level of sadistic and psychotic.

Whoever designed that store was like Jigsaw level of sadistic and psychotic.

I’m serious, those designers and planners were just plan mean and cruel. Who does that?

So after we had survived the dastardly Forever 21, we continued to our destination, when Elaine says she has to use the bathroom. So we decide that we are not going back into Forever 21, but look through the place for other bathrooms. We found them, but you had to walk down this hallway with black and white checkerboards. We walk and walk and walk and walk  and walk and walk…. Yeah it just seems to go on forever. And those white and black checkerboard tiles, give the hall an appearance of shrinking that we start to feel as if we are in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory or something! 

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Except sadly there was no chocolate or Gene Wilder in this adventure.

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So we finally reach the bathroom, and go in. But when we come out it feels so weird. It feels like we have been in the mall for hours and hours, or even days. We both started joking around that when we finally got back to the mall we would be entering the 1960s or something. I have expected Rod Serling to pop out at any moment and say “What started out as just an average day for those two girls, turned out to be a shortcut…into…THE TWILIGHT ZONE.”

To be perfectly honest, I love him so much I wouldn't care if he did pop up like that.

To be perfectly honest, I love him so much I wouldn’t care if he did pop up like that.

So the rest of the trip was pretty normal. We were both freaked out, that we got what we wanted and got outta there. We were able to get past the Forever 21 gauntlet/maze

I can do this....just have to wait for the right time

I can do this….just have to wait for the right time

We get out to the parking lot and when we do we CAN’T FIND THE CAR!

Dude-Where-is-My-Car

And NO we were not high. So we are walking up rows looking for it. Joking, and half-believing, that we will find out that it is parked in a completely different area or back on campus. We finally find it and head home. 

Yep what an adventure right? You might not believe me but its true.

Like that's happen

I swear. And I have never been back to that Forever 21 because it is tooo creepy to do that again. Stick to the Disney store, its safe. 🙂

Nothing But A Good Time

So I’ve been trying to pick a song that describes me and my life. As this is not an easy quest, the song changes depending on my mood and what’s been going on in my life. At this current moment I decided that the song that almost perfectly describes my state of mind is Nothing But a Good Time by Poison.

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The song was released in 1988 and reached #6 on Billboard Top 100. It later was used in the musical Rock of Ages, along with the movie. In both of these it is a combo song, in the musical it is a combination of “Just Like Paradise/Nothing But a Good Time” sung by Lonny & co. In the film it is a combo of “Sister Christian/Just Like Paradise/Nothing But a Good Time“, sung by Sherri (Julianne Hough), Drew (Diego Boneta) <3, Lonny (Russell Brand), Dennis (Alec Baldwin), & co.

So here’s how it relates.

I go to college, work two jobs, T.A., and volunteer once a week. I’m always working and saving money, but always feel so packed as I try to do everything. Sometimes I wish I could just go off and “look for a good time”.

How it doesn’t realate is that I’m not into girls so I don’t have one to hang out with Saturday night and I don’t spend my money on women and wine. I’m straight and a straight-edge. And I always know what bed I wake up in, because its my own, alone. The only time I don’t wake up in my bed, is when I’ve been pulling an all-nighter.

Now Listen
Not a dime, I can’t pay my rent
I can barely make it through the week
Saturday night I’d like to make my girl
But right now I can’t make ends meet

I’m always workin’ slavin’ every day
Gotta get away from that same old same old
I need a chance just to get away
If you could hear me think this is what I’d say

Chorus:
Don’t need nothin’ but a good time
How can I resist
Ain’t lookin’ for nothin’ but a good time
And it don’t get better than this

They say I spend my money on women and wine
But I couldn’t tell you where I spent last night
I’m really sorry about the shape I’m in
I just like my fun every now and then

I’m always workin’ slavin’ every day
Gotta get away from that same old same old
I need a chance just to get away
If you could hear me think this is what I’d say

Chorus:
Don’t need nothin’ but a good time
How can I resist
Ain’t lookin’ for nothin’ but a good time
And it don’t get better than this

You see I raise a toast to all of us
Who are breakin’ our backs every day
If wantin’ the good life is such a crime
Lord, then put me away
Here’s to ya

Guitar Solo 

Chorus:
Don’t need nothin’ but a good time
How can I resist
Ain’t lookin’ for nothin’ but a good time
And it don’t get better than this

Here’s the link to the complete music video. This was so me today, I had to complete a herculean task, that is wash a gazillion dishes.

This one isn’t complete, but if you don’t mind that I hope you enjoy.

Do you have song that describes your current state of life? Comment below what it is.

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For more of my favorite songs, go to Eye of the Tiger

For more ’80s music, go to It’s the Final Countdown

Thanks A Lot

So with it being Thanksgiving, and me unable to do any kind of daily countdown (no time), I decided to do just a regular list of what I am thankful for. This is something my family does around the table every year. I’m only going to do a top 5 list so we can be at that pie!

1) God

I know some of you out there are not a Christian, but I am. Sorry if you are offended by this, but I’m going to proclaim it. I am thankful for everything God does for me. He protects me, cares for me, and is always there for me through everything. I can’t imagine going through life without him leading me.

2) My Family

I will always be most thankful for my family as they are always there for me and support me through everything I go through. I know some people end up with horrible people in their family and never want to see them, but I just adore mine. I couldn’t imagine life with out them.

3) Viewers Like You

I’m so happy to see that there are people out there reading my posts and commenting on them. I know I’ve said it before, but I am really thankful I have some people out there who are enjoying my writings. At one point I was scared no one would want to read any of my stuff.

4) Jane Austen

Jane Austen is one of the best writers ever! She really revolutionized the guidelines of the novel. I love all her work and am so glad that she became a writer. Where would we be without Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Northanger Abbey, Mansfield Park, Persuasion, and Emma? I know this blog wouldn’t have been created. There would have been a huge hole in my life without her.

5) Friends

Friends are always there to laugh and cry with you. Without them life would be so boring! After all “Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.” –Sarah Dessen, Someone Like You

I hope you all are having a great day. Eat, drink, and be merry!

“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.” 1 Chronicles 16:33-35
 For more on Thanksgiving, go to I Before E, Especially After P
For another holiday post go to Let’s Hear it for the Boy
For more bible verses, go to Here I Go Again
For more on Sarah Dessen, go to The End

Color Me Red

The lovely shade of embarrassment

So tonight I was in the gym and had a very embarrassing/silly moment. :/ But that’s life, you can’t live without them.

It all started with the T-Shirt I was wearing.

When I go to the gym I like to make sure  no one talks to me. I hate how people try and have a conversation with you when you are out of breath and can’t really talk, it’s on par with dentists who always try to talk to you when they have their hand shoved in your mouth. Why would you ask a question, if you know I can’t answer it due to the fact that your fist is in my mouth!!

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

Anyways, so I go to the gym at night so I don’t run into anyone (or have to give up the machines when I reach the max of 30 mins) I also wear certain clothes so no one will want to talk to me. One shirt I wear is of this band that’s really weird.

Note: It wasn’t a Queen shirt. Queen isn’t weird but AWESOME!!! I wish I had a Queen shirt! ;( But I don’t. 😦

Yeah, sorry about that, I couldn’t find a copy of the shirt online. I love Queen, Queen is not weird.

So this shirt I actually got from a friend. She broke up with her boyfriend and had a huge bag of his clothes she just wanted out of her sight. Me, like the frugal person I am, jumped on that train of free stuff.

You know I never understood that obsession of giving your clothes to your girlfriend. I always thought it was kind of weird. Especially the girlfriends who make their boyfriends give them a ton of their clothes, I mean a jacket I understand, that is more of a symbol. But why does your girlfriend need like 20 of your shirts? Seriously what’s up with that?

MeanGirls I know right!

So here I am wearing this weird shirt to make sure no one will talk to me, and the guy on duty at the gym just happens to know that band and be really into them. I mean what are the odds of that? Why do such TV-esque things happen to me?

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

So here I am trying to get out of a conversation like this because I know zero about this group. I act a bit cool toward him, not because I don’t want him to talk to me but because I don’t know ANYTHING about the band.

Later as I was working out, he came over to clean the machine next to me. I go to drink my water and start choking on it. Of course.

So there I am hacking up a storm and I can see the guy out of the corner of my eye.

He comes up to me and asks me if I’m okay, really worried that I might cough up a lung. I assure him I’m okay, but all I can think is I was trying to fly under the radar and completely, utterly, failed! Oh well, that’s my life.

StoryOfMyLifeSomeLikeItHotMarilynMonroe

Good thing my face was red from working out so he couldn’t tell how embarrassed I was.

So embarressed

So embarrassed

 

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For more embarrassing moments, go to Walkin’ Round

For more “What are the Odd?” moments, go to Heeeeee’s BA-CK!

For more gym stories, go to In Rhapsody Over Clint Eastwood

For more on free stuff, go to CANDY TIME!

It’s Alive, it’s ALIVE!: Frankenstein (1931)

Look! It’s moving. It’s alive. It’s alive… It’s alive, it’s moving, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, IT’S ALIVE!

What horror movie countdown would be complete without the film Frankenstein

Frankenstein is an amazing film that tells the story of when one man tries to be more than he is; he tries to be God. It is based on the novel, Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley (FYI: A much better writer than her husband)

Edward Van Sloan: How do you do? Mr. Carl Laemmle feels it would be a little unkind to present this picture without just a word of friendly warning. We’re about to unfold the story of Frankenstein, a man of science who sought to create a man after his own image without reckoning upon God. It is one of the strangest tales ever told. It deals with the two great mysteries of creation: life and death. I think it will thrill you. It may shock you. It might even horrify you. So if any of you feel that you do not care to subject your nerves to such a strain, now is your chance to, uh… Well, we’ve warned you. 

I have always loved this film, but I think The Bride of Frankenstein is much better. I will get more into why that is later.

This movie is terrifying as we see a Frankenstein becomes consumed with creating this being. He won’t listen to anyone else and his behavior frightening his friends, family, and fiancé.

Henry Frankenstein: Crazy, am I? We’ll see whether I’m crazy or not.

Let me just clarify for everyone out there that the name Frankenstein alludes to Victor Frankenstein, the mad doctor who creates the Monster. For some reason they changed his name to Henry in this film. In the film his best friend’s name is Victor, while in the book it is Henry. Go figure. The Monster is never called by a name other than Monster, Creature, or something similar. It’s like  The Creature from the Black Lagoon or The Thing from Another World, no proper names are given.

Anyways, he is helped out by a hunchback named Fritz

Not Igor, FRITZ!

The hunchback named Igor who helps mad scientists isn’t from the original Frankenstein, but comes from one of the sequels, Son of Frankenstein, where his name was Ygor; later translated to Igor.

Anyways, Fritz is the one who makes the mistake of stealing the criminal brain.

My Bad

 

So Frankenstein starts getting ready to bring his monster to life. In the novel, Shelley never tells us how it is done; Frankenstein never wanted to share the details of the experiment for fear that someone would create their own living dead. With nothing to go off of, the writers and directors decided to use lightening, and therefore changeing film culture and film history as this is referenced and parodied in so many films and TV shows.

Clive, Colin (Frankenstein)_02

“Henry Frankenstein: Look! It’s moving. It’s alive. It’s alive… It’s alive, it’s moving, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, IT’S ALIVE!
Victor Moritz: Henry – In the name of God!
Henry Frankenstein: Oh, in the name of God! Now I know what it feels like to be God!”

Frankenstein is so intent on proving everyone wrong, so focused on completing everything that he never stops to think whether he should do this. This is an interesting question posed; how far is too far?

So Frankenstein is able to create his monster:

Played by the very amazing Boris Karloff; extraordinary actor. He almost didn’t play this part as they originally offered it to Bela Lugosi who turned it down. I’m glad it was Karloff, because as much as I love Lugosi, no one could have done this better.

frankenstein

The green makeup that is such a part of the Frankenstein figure was used because it gave Karloff a deadlike pallor of skin. Now it has become such a strong part of culture, we see the green-skinned, bolted monster every October.

After the Monster is created, we see this innocentlike creature. He is afraid of fire and tries to attack Fritz who brings a torch by him. All bystanders fear for their lives and chain the Creature up in the dungeon. Frankenstein and his friend Victor leave and discuss the best way to euthanize him. Unbeknownst to them Fritz is stupidly taunting the creature with a torch; causing the Monster to reach out and kill him.

When Victor and Frankenstein return; they see Fritz’s dead body on the floor, and have to run away from the Monster as it tries to attack them too. Frankenstein prepares a shot to kill him, and Victor gives it him. With all his problems solved, Frankenstein leaves to prepare for his wedding, and Victor begins to dissect the Creature. Unfortunately, the Monster didn’t die; but was only knocked out. He kills Victor and then escapes, running amuck in the countryside.

He runs into a little girl, who is nice and shows him the flowers she is picking up.

She shows him how flowers float in the river, which Frankenstein ultimately does to the little girl. Thinking that if he tosses the girl in the water she will float; he ends up ultimately drowning her.

Little Maria: See how mine floats.
[the Monster picks her up]
Little Maria: No, you’re hurting me! No!”

The farmer finds his daughter’s floating corpse and goes to pieces. He starts hunting down the monster; searching everywhere to find the fiend.

Frankenstein, happily preapering for his wedding is brought news of Victor’s death. He goes out searching for the monster along with the peasants who have their torches and pitchforks at the ready.

Grab your torches and sharpen your pitchforks!

Eventually Frankenstein tracks the monster down and is prepared to destroy him.

However the Monster knocks him out and carries him off to the windmill where he throws him off. Luckily, Frankenstein is caught by a vane and saved from death. There some peasants carry him home while others destroy the mill and kill the monster. Or do they?

Frankenstein gets home, where we see that he is safe and sound and in the arms of his Elizabeth dear.

After I watched the film a gazillion times, I read the novel and found it to be much more horrifying than the movie. In the book Frankenstein isn’t this bumbling creature, completely innocent and doesn’t understand things; but a criminal mastermind. Having learned to read and talk before he died; he is able to after some time remember how to do this and begins becoming more “human”. The one thing that he never regains is compassion, kindness, etc; all the caring emotions that make us who we are. He has no empathy or sympathy, believing that he was shown nothing but hatred and cruelty so he must show this to all.

wouttruth

What they take from this and use in the sequel, The Bride of Frankenstein, is his want of a mate; his desire to have one like him to spend his life with. He threatens to destroy everyone that Frankenstein holds dear if he does give in to his demands. Frankenstein goes through a constant struggle with himself; knowing that he cannot risk creating another creature being made and mating along with the first. He realizes his mistakes at creating such a thing far too late. The monster doesn’t like hearing no and kills all Frankenstein loves. There is no sweet guy, accidentally killing someone like Lenny in Of Mice and Men, but this is a true psychopath fully aware of the crimes he is committing. Not only is the creature a serial killer, but he has become so intelligent that he is able to plant evidence so that people think someone else is the murderer. He kills Frankenstein’s brother William, and plants a locket on William’s nanny so that she is also killed. Then he kills Henry, Frankenstein’s friend, planting evidence so Frankenstein is arrested. He also kills Elizabeth, Frankenstein’s wife, making it seem once again that Frankenstein is the killer. With all those that he loves dead, Baron Frankenstein dies as well.   After everything is gone from him; Frankenstein devotes his life to hunting down what he created and destroying it.

It’s a great book, I suggest reading it and watching the film.

There’s a classic terror for your Tuesday! More to come!

I almost forgot to mention this. Unlike The Mummy, Dracula, or The Wolfman; Frankenstein has never had a major motion, globally shown, sent to all theaters, remake. However that is all about to change as Guillermo del Toro is planning one, and hoping that it will be coming out soon. To read more up on it go here. We shall have to wait and see what happens and how it turns out.

Here’s poster I made for my cover page on facebook in honor or Halloween. Hope ya love it.

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To start Horrorfest from the beginning, go to I Don’t Belong in the World

For the previous post, go to When Potatoes Go Bad

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For more on Frankenstein, go to A Monster Race

For more on Boris Karloff, go to Eternal Punishment for Anyone Who Opens This Casket

For more films based on books, go to The Only Thing That Matters is the Ending

For more on Jurassic Park, go to Life Finds a Way

For more on the living dead, go to A Tale So Strange It Must Be True

For more on mad scientists, go to A Very Scary Story

For more universal films, go to Universal’s Classic Monster Movies

For more of my fav quotes, go to Insults