Time for You to Awaken, Master. Time for You to Go Out: The Return of the Vampire (1943)

“Time for you to awaken, Master. Time for you to go out.”

So last year I was lamenting that I couldn’t think of any films I wanted to open Horrofest with from the 1950s as that was the year I was going to start with. I mentioned some films I really wanted to do, but both came out in the 1940s.

So as this year it is time to start off with a 1940s film, I was like why not do one of the ones I mentioned in last year’s post? I already reviewed Rebecca last year, so I chose The Return of the Vampire. 

I loooove this movie!

I saw it year ago on TCM and it has stayed with me my whole life. You know a movie is good when it hooks you years ago and you stay hooked.

The film was just so engaging and has beautiful cinematography. Plus it also has Bela Lugosi! You cannot go wrong with him in anything, let alone in a Vampire flick. I just love him.

So this film was actually supposed to be a Dracula sequel, but Universal threatened to sue Columbia Studios so they changed it to The Return of the Vampire and instead of Count Dracula, we have Armand Tesla.

We start this film during WWI with a vampire Armand Tesla (Bela Lugosi) stalking the streets of London and using the war as a cover-who cares about people suffering from anemia and a few deaths when there is a war on?!

But someone does, Lady Jane Ainsley (Frieda Inescort) and her colleague Professor Walter Saunders (Gilbert Emery) run a clinic and are baffled by the anemia.

Hmm…

Tesla is furious and uses his slave, a werewolf formally known as Andreas Obry, and the two break into the clinic. When he can’t finish his off his former victim he decides to make Saunders pay and goes after his granddaughter.

Professor Saunders, meanwhile, has concluded that the victim was attacked by a vampire. The victim dies and when Saunders goes home he sees a man feasting on his granddaughter. The vampire flees and Saunders saves his granddaughter Nikki (Nina Foch) by giving her a blood transfusion. While her life is saved for now, she will always be in danger. The vampire will continue to search for her to finish the job, and he will also be able to control her.

Professor Saunders and Lady Jane search for the Vampire in order to stake it and kill it.

They search out the local cemetery in order to search out the Vampire. They are both attacked by a werewolf who is being controlled by the Vampire-but once they stake the vampire the werewolf returns to his normal form of Andreas Obry.

Wow!

Professor Saunders and Lady Jane know that the only way to keep a vampire dead is make sure the stake isn’t removed from the heart-remove the stake revive the vampire. They bury the coffin and make sure it is well hidden.

Time moves forward and the year is now 1942. Nikki has fully recovered from her experience, having no knowledge of the attack and is engaged to Lady Jane’s son John (Roland Varno). Andreas Obry has recovered from his experience and has become an assistant to Lady Jane.

You know thinking about this movie in 2020 it is really cool that the Vampire hunter/Doctor is a woman. I mean you wouldn’t expect it in the 1940s, and you certainly don’t see it in modern vampire stories (except Buffy the Vampire Slayer), but she basically is Van Helsing. Not the Hugh Jackman version, but the original one from the 1930s.

Of course what comes to mind is Jane the Vampire Hunter:

So Professor Saunders has passed way and Lady Jane decides to share about the vampire with Scotland Yard detective Sir Fredrick Fleet (Miles Mander) . He doesn’t take her seriously, but he does take the murder of a man seriously. He wanted to arrest Lady Jane, but she convinces him to check the body. If it is a regular man, he will be decomposed. If a vampire-his body will not have aged a day.

Stay the same age forever…

Lady Jane is going to show Sir Fleet but then a bombing raid occurs. One of the bombs hits the cemetery and a lot of bodies are dug up and two gravediggers are set to put all to right. When they come across Tesla’s body they find the stake in the heart and feel bad for the man. They pull it out and the Vampire returns!

The first thing Tesla does is contact his slave telepathically as he will need his help in moving the coffin and such. He calls to his former slave and werewolf Andreas.

Armand Tesla: [Offscreen, as Andreas walks in the woods] Andreas! [Andreas can’t locate the sourceAndreas!

Andreas Obry: [Suddenly seeing Tesla] You! You have no power over me! That was ended many years ago! I’m no longer your slave! Dr. Ainsley has cleansed me of all the evil you forced upon me! You can’t bring it back! You can’t! I won’t let you! I won’t!

Armand Tesla: You’re a fool, Andreas! A complete, utter fool! Your fate is to be what you are – as mine is to be what I am… your Master! [In a commanding toneCome here!

Andreas Obry: I won’t! [He moans]

Armand Tesla: [Commandingly] Look at me, Andreas! [There is a closeup of Tesla’s eyesLook at me!

Andreas Obry: [after Andreas undergoes a metamorphosis into a werewolf] Andreas, come here! [Subserviently] Master, you have returned.

This is a fantastic scene, as you see Andreas really trying! He really, really wants to believe it is true that has overcome this. Looking at this as an adult it resonates so well as you have met people trying to overcome things, thinking they have, but then something happens and they are right back at the bottom again-addiction, toxic relationships, etc. It is extremely well done and poor, poor Andreas.

Now that Andreas is controlled by Tesla he sets him out for his first mission protect the coffin and find him a new identity. Andreas comes across a scientist recently escaped from a concentration camp, Hugo Bruckner. Dr. Hugo Bruckner was freed by help of the Resistance, something Lady Jane is a part of, and will be working with her. Man this vampire is extremely evil to murder a concentration camp survivor.

Tesla takes on the identity and slips into the Ainsleys’ and Nikki’s life. Some of you might wonder why Lady Jane doesn’t recognize him, but she only fought him that one time over twenty years ago, and at night in a foggy cemetery.

Lady Jane is throwing Nikki and her son an engagement party. Sir Fleet shows up and Lady Jane takes the Professor Saunder’s manuscript and locks it up, not wanting Nikki to ever find out about what happened. Tesla/Bruckner shows up, is introduced, and given free reign of Lady Jane’s office and laboratory. He uses this time to steal Saunders’ manuscript, the one Sir Fleet read. All are charmed by him except Sir Fleet, as he feels something is not quite right.

The next night the manuscript is somehow left in Nikki’s room and she reads it and finds out the truth. The Tesla calls to her…and the next day she has been drained of blood! Oh no!

Then they… then my mom made me stop watching it.

I know I was soooooo invested. What happens next? Will Nikki be alright? How will they defeat Tesla? I don’t recall exactly how old I was but this was well before google and we didn’t have TiVo or any blank tapes I could use to record, although my mother wouldn’t have let me as we were leaving the house and they weren’t going to leave the TV on with no one home. So I had to scan the newspaper and TV guide until it was on TV again.

So after she was drained of blood they transfused her. She survives but as we saw in The Horror of Dracula last year, that can only last so long. They need to find this vampire and kill it!

Stake through the heart.

Lady Jane starts to investigate and questions the grave robbers when the body cannot be found. She and Fleet also search Bruckner’s room and discovers the mirrors are all set down and a ring that she recalls from Tesla.

Fleet had had Andreas followed ad he was seen trying to change into a werewolf and found with Bruckner’s effects, his real effects.

Meanwhile, Nikki and John are attacked and Nikki starts to believe she has been transformed into a vampire. She pleads with John to stay away as she doesn’t want to hurt him. But you know these men in this old classic horror films-it doesn’t matter they are staying in this relationship and with the girl. How guys aren’t like that now? Most guys I know would be out in no time at all.

In reality, Tesla has been feeding. Tesla attacks Lady Jane, but she carries a cross and uses it to deflect him.

Wow!

So there are two amazing things I noticed about this scene. First can we just stop and appreciate that Lady Jane has a giant organ. Man, you are a girl after my own heart. I can’t play the organ but if I had money I would want a giant one and learn how to play it. Then I could be my own version of The Phantom of the Opera. 

Second-I love how in this scene she seems so meek and mild-and then bam-she’s got the cross and she flings it out at him. Lady Jane is awesome!

That’s awesome

Later that night Tesla calls Nikki to him again and she and Andreas answer the call. Meanwhile, Lady Jane ad Sir Fleet have decided to follow them. They come upon them in the cemetery but a raid interrupts their pursuit, although Fleet shoots Andreas, mortally wounding him. Andreas begs his master to save him, but Tesla coldly refuses.

Andreas Obry: Heal me, Master. I am hurt!

Armand Tesla: What is that to me?

This was so exciting when I watched it. First of all I really wanted to know what happened after waiting so long. Secondly this scene has the vampire, the damsel, bombs, a gun-you just didn’t know what would happen next!

Tesla leaving Andreas to die is the wake to reality he needs. He grabs a nearby cross and thrusts it at Tesla, coming between him and his victim-Nikki. A bomb hits and the sun comes up, melting Tesla to nothing.

Wow!

This is one of the first films to show a vampire disintegrating like this. It was actually censored in England for being too graphic. Oh, 1940s-if you saw the stuff we have today, although I have to say it was pretty yuck.

Of course Nikki and John get their happy ending, and Lady Jane stays awesome.

It was fantastic! I just loved it and you know who else would have if she existed-Catherine Morland.

You know it.

Please note that this is being said sarcastically.

So that’s our start with Horrorfest IX what else will it bring? Who knows! I start every year off with a plan but you know how that goes-anything can happen! Stay Spooky people!

For more Vampire films, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more Bela Lugosi, go to We’ve Seen Dracula, the Wolf Man, and Frankenstein’s Monster: Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

For more WWII, go to Catherine Morland’s Reading List: The Distant Hours

Jane Fairfax by Joan Aiken

Jane Fairfax by Joan Aiken

So I have heard people say how much they enjoy Joan Aiken’s books. I have put all on my to-read lists and when I came across her book Jane Fairfax a retelling of Jane Austen’s Emma, I jumped at the chance to grab it and read it.

However, I didn’t like it.

Aiken is not a bad writer, but the style didn’t suit me. I tried reading this book three times and could not get involved in it, forcing myself to finish it so I could review it.

The book is told from Jane’s point of view, but while I thought this would be interesting…it was not.

The book starts off with Jane growing up in Highbury, angry and upset with Emma as she has money, a sister, a father and mother-then later a governess, clothes, etc. She can’t stand Emma as she wishes she had her life-after all Emma is rude and doesn’t deserve what she has.

YEEEEES!!!!!!

She also has a humongous crush on Mr. Knightley, on that grows with every gift of apples, every horseback ride, every moment with him, etc.

She is given the opportunity to live with her father’s old friend. Life in the Colonel Campbell home is not what she expected: the Colonel is a mean and grouchy man who is always yelling at his daughter; his wife is a woman who is uninterested in anything regarding her child; Colonel Campbell’s mother-in-law is grouchy, gives unneeded advice, and is rude to Jane.

It sucks!

Her only friend is the mousy and insecure, Rachel Campbell.

When the girls are young they meet the Dixon boys who are annoying at first but then they grow on the girls. Jane also meets Mr. Knightley, Mr. Weston, and Frank Churchill occasionally in London. And every time Jane’s heart goes thump-thump when she sees Mr. Knightley.

When the girls are older they go to Weymouth and spend time with the Dixons, Jane realizing she is in love with Matthew. Unfortunately, Rachel is too.

But then Matthew reveals his love for her, Jane-and it is all she can do to refuse it. You see Matthew has debts that need to be paid and Jane has nothing-no money, no connections, and definitely no dowry. She convinces him to marry Rachel, he proposes to her, and the two leave for Ireland while Jane will be sent back to Highbury.

To her surprise Frank Churchill, who she thought little of, has fallen for her.

What are you talking about??

As she lost her real love and knows that Mr. Knightley is not likely to be with her she says yes to his engagement.

And then we enter the Emma story as Jane is sent to Highbury waiting for Frank’s aunt to die so they could be together.

I didn’t like this as Jane seemed so cold and calculating, choosing Frank not because she loved him, but because she wants money, security, a home-basically she is Charlotte Lucas.

Reading Emma, I never cared for Frank Churchill and thought he was a total jerk, and that Jane deserved better. Whenever I read it all I can think is she must have really, really loved him to put up with all the crap he does-romancing Emma as a smokescreen, talking about her to Emma, making fun of her, etc.

So having her not really care for Frank is…weird. I mean she is sooo practical through the whole thing. At age six she knows she will never get married but is destined to be a spinster and governess (that is what Aiken writes), so for her to enter an engagement that has very little chance of coming to fruition seems like a weird choice for someone so practical and logical.

Hmm…

Now if she was in love with him, well love is blind that makes sense.

But as she isn’t, why would she even think this would work? If anything her character makes more sense to believe that as soon as she leaves London his ardor for her will too.

Or plot!

Anyways, she comes to Highbury, Frank is a jerk, she moons over Knightley which I also thought was weird. If she was interested in Knightley, why not make a play for him over Frank? It is far more likely that Mr. Knightley would marry her than for Frank to.

I mean for real!

And Jane is just horrible to Emma. I think the author wanted to go with past hurts can color your current behavior, and that Jane is still upset over the behavior of the Emma when she was a child-but I couldn’t stand it. Every time Emma enters the room Jane is all look at the disdain she gives me, she doesn’t care. She’s pretending to be kind and she’s really a snake.

This makes this a not a very fun read as she is just mad all the time. I don’t like characters that are just mad all the time.

 

The part I did like was when Jane goes to Highbury and has a hard time fitting in as she was in a different position as Colonel Campbell’s ward versus Mrs. & Miss Bates’ ward. That isn’t something you really think about or see in the movies and I enjoyed that view.

Most of the story is about Jane having a crush on Mr. Knightley, this continuing until she is heartbroken to find him marrying Emma her longtime rival.

The only part I enjoyed was at the end when Jane and Emma talk and Jane apologizes for being cold and distant as she realizes she was angry and jealous of Emma; and Emma apologizes for ignoring her and being distant as she was jealous of her. They both realize that Mr. Knightley was right and they would have been good friends, regretting that they didn’t listen to him when they were younger.

Told you so

But that was at the end and I had to wade through the whole book to get there. I don’t recommend this and say hard pass.

For more Emma adaptions, go to Rational Creatures: Emma Woodhouse, Miss Bates, & Harriet Smith

For more Jane Fairfax, go to Dangerous to Know, Jane Austen’s Rakes & Gentlemen Rogues: MODERATE

For more Jane Austen adaptions, go to Pride, Prejudice, and Other Flavors

I Have a Dubious Reputation: The Notorious Landlady (1962)

I have a dubious reputation.

So my mom and I were looking on Amazon for something to watch and stumbled upon this. Neither of us had ever heard of it, and we both think Jack Lemmon is hilarious.

So the film starts off in London with a man being killed, we only see his feet as he is dragged away in a car. Neighbors hear the ruckus, but don’t actually see who is causing it.

Hmm, …

Fast forward some months and  William ‘Bill’ Gridley, (Jack Lemmon), American diplomat, has returned from the Middle East. He is happy to be out of the desert and happy to be closer to America. His first duty is to find a place to live. 

Hmm…

Meanwhile, Mrs. Carlyle Hardwicke, (Kim Novak), has been in the paper and everyone looks down on her. She needs money, but can’t work because she is married. You know how it was back in the day, this quote is from Mr. & Mrs. Smith (1949)

Store Manager: Miss Krausheimer, we understood you were a single woman. As an aid to to the unemployment crisis, it is our policy not to employ married women.

So Mrs. Hardwicke needs money and with her husband MIA she is trying to rent out half her house. No one will take it as they don’t want to rent to a murderess, which all believe her to be.

But of course, newly arrived Bill Gridley has no knowledge of this. He sees the house as perfect location, great rent and wants it.

Mrs. Hardwicke doesn’t want to rent to him as she is already talked about, imagine how it would increase if she has a male boarder! She tries to dissuade him, pretending to be the housekeeper, but Bill sees right through that and insists.

Mrs. Carlyle Hardwicke: To put it plainly, Mr. Gridley, I have a dubious reputation.

William ‘Bill’ Gridley: You DO? I’ll pay you 45 pounds a month.

He gives her the money and the deposit and when he hears she and her husband are not together, asks the beautiful Mrs. Hardwicke out to dinner.

He then goes to work for his boss Franklyn Ambruster (Fred Astaire) who is all about propriety and staying out off the radar. If Bill messes up, Ambruster’s career is on the line.

Franklyn Ambruster: I want you to know that I have no intention of watching you go down the drain and using my career as a raft.

That night he takes the beautiful Mrs. Hardwicke out to dinner and they have a lovely night, except everyone watches and stares at her. All talk, gossip, etc.

Bill sees none of it, just Carly, and falls head over heels in love for her. But before anything could happen, he gets interrupted by a phone call from his boss to come in early the next day. Moment ruined.

That night a man watching Mrs. Hardwicke’s house makes a call. The next day Inspector Oliphant comes to the embassy to speak to Ambruster and Bill. He lets them know all about the case and how they would put him on trial except that there is no body so technically no crime. 

Bill is sure of her innoncence, but the inspector and his boss both want him to spy on her.

Franklyn Ambruster: If you foul up, Gridley, I’ll have you back in the Sahara so fast you’ll think London was a mirage.

William ‘Bill’ Gridley: In other words, if she knows I know, I go.

Franklyn Ambruster: That’s exactly right. And I hope you haven’t taken to talking in rhyme.

Bill sneaks into the house when Mrs. Hardwicke has left to try and get into the closet that she said he was never to use. There’s nothing in there but her husband’s clothes. He starts going through her room and finds a gun!

Ahhh!

But she is a single woman living alone. He puts it in a different place (as soon as I saw that I knew important!!!) and starts to search more But she comes back early!!!

Unfortunately, there aren’t a whole lot of clips of this film, but it is hilarious. Jack Lemmon is great at comedy-physical, verbal, and the faces he makes.

So he doesn’t find anything incrimminating, which is great. But the words that the inspector said to him is really starting to get to him. Carly plans a surprise for him, but all he can imagine is her killing him.

He doesn’t pay attention at the BBQ grill and puts in too much lighter fluid, the fire department is called and his face is landed in every paper.

That’s not good.

Ambuster is furious as this goes against everything he told him he wanted. He doesn’t care that Bill is helping the police, he is sending him back to the Sahara or Iran or as far away from him as he can.

Franklyn Ambruster: Then tell me one good thing about this morning, except that it’s your last one in London.

Bill gets ready to pack up and heads to his office, Armbuster is going to go on with his usual things but is interrupted by Mrs. Hardwicke coming to the office. He is won over by her beauty and charm and has officially joined team Hardwicke.

Franklyn Ambruster: …she couldn’t possibly have done it.

William ‘Bill’ Gridley: [Pointing at himself excitedly and nodding his head] That’s your discovery?

Franklyn Ambruster: With you, it was an opinion. With me, it’s a conviction.

Carly wants Bill out of the house but Bill doesn’t want to leave. She starts acting weird and two men come to “pick up a package”. She tells them to come back the next day and then plays the organ at night.

Even weirder, she’s surprised that Bill heard her playing. Uh….???!!! You weren’t that quiet about it…

She also acts strange about her organ when talking about it.

Hmm…

All embassy business has been thriwn out the window. Bill and Ambuster are on the case. That night they see the man come to the house again to speak to Carly, and she leaves with a package. Armbuster follows her while Bill goes after the man. This is a hilarious chase scene through foggy London.

Bill ends up at a church, where he discovers that Carly sold her beloved organ to get money. That’s why she was being so creepy and weird about it. It was her last time to play her beloved instrument.

Carly gives Ambruster the slip, he ending up in a grave that is being dug. Carly goes to a pawn shop, pawning a silver candelabra.

That night Bill calls Armbuster to find out what he knows and Carly picks up a line and overhears the conversation, ah landlines. She’s furious and refuses to speak to Bill again, wanting him OUT!

That night she is getting ready for bed, when a man is in her room!!!

It’s her husband!!!!!! He wants the money he stole. He killed the man sent to assassinate him and took off to hide out. He struggles with her and she goes for her gun, but it’s not THERE!!!  Darn you Bill. 

Meanwhile, Bill is downstairs calling the inspector and telling him that he will no longer be a spy, he’s done as he is in love with Carly. The inspector has just woken up from the call and is unsure what they are taking about.

Wha??

Bill hears the noises from upstairs in Carly’s room and throws the phone down to help. The inspector hearing Bill being worried, sends the police over.

When Bill gets there he finds Carly standing over her dead husband and the next scene she is on trial.

Now here is the part of the film I don’t get. They put her on trial for killing her husband and there is no acknowledgement of what they did earlier-all those months blaming her for the murder when he was alive! And knowing that she killed him in self-defense they try to make it out to be murder?

Man a good lawyer would rip them to shreds!!!! You know it!!!

So Carly acts kind of weird and doesn’t seem to defend her self.

Now when Bill tries to defend her, the prosecutor really turns his words inside out and sideways.

Huh?

All seems lost until the next door neighbor’s nurse, Agatha Brown, steps in and testifies that Carly was just defending herself. The trial is declared a mistrial and all is good.

Except that Carly doesn’t seem very happy. Bill tries to talk to her but she wants nothing to do with him.

She goes home, Agatha giving her a ride and it appears the nurse is blackmailing Carly. When Bill comes home, the nurse is leaving with a paper, talking about her new room.

Huh?

BIll questions Carly, but she just tells him to leave, going upstairs distraught. She goes into the bathroom with Bill trailing behind and talking to her. He hears the water stop and then nothing.

He calls out his name over and over, but nothing.

That’s not good.

Fearing she might hurt herself, sure, he knocks the door down, but it turns out she is just taking a bath.

Seriously

He questions her and she reveals what happened was that her husband attacked her and wanted the candelabra she had pawned. They fought and she killed him in self-defense. She looks out the window and realizes that Agatha couldn’t have seen anything because she spotted her walking up to the house that night, hoping to get her attention.

So if she didn’t see her than who did…Lady Fallott must have! That means she must know about the candelabra! Agatha isn’t likely to share it so they rush down to the pawn shop to see if the candelabra is still there.

Instead of the candelabra, they find the dead pawn shop owner. They know Lady Fallot must be next and go looking for her.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1958)

Meanwhile, a bobby notices them running off and goes in the pawn shop.

That’s not good.

Carly and Bill go next door and question if they know where Lady Fallott is. While they are doing that, Ambruster stops at the flat to pick up Bill. The two run into a car to the station, heading to Penzance while the police show up.

In Penzance the two search for Lady Fallot, while Agatha is intent on murdering her. As they are scrambling and chasing, the police and Ambruster follow behind. This is a HILARIOUS chase scene all to the theme of The Pirates of Penzance  

I wish I had a clip to share with you all. In the end all is right and Bill and Carly end up together.

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more Fred Astaire, go to I Won’t Let You Get Away: Holiday Inn (1942)

Desire & Decorum: Chapter 8, Ill Repute

In the last episode I was invited to the opera by the Duke, ugh, and was able to get a preview with help from the Prince. That opera house was where my late mother used to perform. I also got a letter from my father warning me about the countess trying to slander me and that I need to do some husband hunting.

So you were just reading your father’s letter:

Keeping an eye on you!

So I have two goals: one stop all rumors that the Countess is spreading, and two-find me a man. I write back to let me father know that I don’t have anything concrete-no formal proposal or possible engagement.

After finishing my letter, I hurry to Mr. Woods so that he can mail it out before Countess, Miss Sutton, or my step-brother tries to steal it.

I got this!

Mr. Woods and Briar are planning on going off to drop letters off. Briar is such a little flirt with Mr. Woods and with Mr. Marcastle, she’s going to get in some serious trouble. And, as my dearest friend and the one I was raised with, IF she gets a bad reputation, than so will I. I’ve got to keep my eyes on her.

They ask me to come with them. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to spend my money on that, BUT, if I let her go off-she might do something. Plus, I might run into Mr. Sinclaire. So after some hemming and hawing, I decided to go with them.

Remember how in another chapter I bought a horse?

Since I have her, Fancy is what I named her, I get to ride her around London.

ME!!!

The first person I run into is Mr. Sinclaire.

Hello there!

We give him the letter, and then have to go on our way.

That’s it? That’s all I get?!!

You better have something better for me!! I’m going to be mad if I wasted 19 diamonds!

We get a little back story on Mr. Woods, how he grew up in London and went out to the country-hoping one day to settle down, marry, bring his parents out there.

Briar says how love is the most important thing, that it would be okay to “be as poor as a church mouse” as long as she is with the man she loves. Then why are you messing around with Mr. Marcastle? Hmmm…? Stay with Mr. Woods and leave Marcastle ALONE!

Seriously

We then visit with Mr. Chambers, who’s pants are undone as he was getting it on with another guy. We give him his letter and move on.

That’s it!!!!!????

To be honest, this is soooooooooooooooooo boring! I WOULD NOT buy this at all if I was you!

Just skip that “adventure”.

And I know that this is present thinking on the past to include a gay character and have nobody care-but I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the widespread view. I mean in Regency times, sodomy was illegal-and faced severe punishment. I mean it was there, it did happen, look at Oscar Wilde. Anyways…

Moving on…

Later at home, Miss Parsons pay me a visit and brings a little puppy pug. Her sister’s dog had puppies, and offers me one-but I don’t have enough diamonds to purchase one. I don’t really want one as all I can think of is in Mansfield Park where the Mrs. Bertram has a pug.

“She was a woman who spent her days in sitting, nicely dressed, on a sofa, doing some long piece of needlework, of little use and no beauty, thinking more of her pug than her children…” –Mansfield Park by Jane Austen

Afterwards, Miss Parsons and I head over to the opera house in Prince Hamid’s luxurious carriage. We are discussing things, and Prince Hamid tells me how he has heard awful things about me…but he still likes me:

Of course I am, because:

So we get to the Opera where the Duke is trying to get all over me-

I’m not interested!

The Viscount Westonly is trying to get with Miss Parsons, and I’m trying to help her avoid him. Her family is trying to marry her off to anyone with money, they don’t care that he is a seven wife widower. Hmm…did they die of natural causes or…!

Murdered!!!!!

Just kidding, it was natural causes…I think.

Hmmm…

At the Opera, Mr. Chambers also joins us and, ugh, Miss Holloway.

Miss Parsons mentions that she hasn’t seen Mr. Sinclaire at the opera and the Duke gives a comment that Mr. Sinclaire visits other costumed ladies-ladies of the night!

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t believe this!

Could Mr. Sinclaire be a skeeze? I know the Duke is one. The whole performance he keeps trying to touch me and comments about how he wants to see me-see me naked is more like it-ugh.

After the opera, instead of having my ride with the Prince and Miss Parsons, the Duke’s sent them all away.

Should I stay in the carriage and risk being assaulted by him?

There aren’t a lot of choices for women in the 1800s.

I spot Mr. Sinclaire and follow him. He is on his way to do something, and invites me along. I know it isn’t proper to go off with him, but what other choices do I really have? At least I know he will keep his hands to himself.

We go off as Mr. Sinclaire is giving food and clothing to people who live in the poorer areas. He is amazed that I would go with him, but first-he hasn’t been a woman trying to fight off the Duke, and second-he’s forgotten how I grew up. A little dirt won’t bother me, and I remember what it was like to have little.

Mr. Sinclaire is a very charitable and kind person, he thinks that no matter where or what station you are born, you should be treated right. So then why did he act like a jerk the first time I met him? He almost ran me down and then:

Right when I’m thinking that, he apologizes for any way he treated me that wasn’t right. Did he just read my mind?

I don’t apologize for the way I thought about him:

We walk along together, and then Mr. Sinclaire shares his feelings with me, but we get interrupted by rain! Romance always blooms more in rain!

After he holds me close, he calls a carriage and takes me home. It turned out to be a nice night…

That is until I get home and Grandma is there!

That is not good,

She’s heard the rumors that have been spreading about my “reputation” and has set out to control my London season.

She wants me with the Duke and will do whatever she can to catch him. I want nothing to do with that guy.

I don’t want to do this.

So with Grandma coming, how will it go?

Keep reading to find out! Or play the game yourself!

For more Desire & Decorum, go to Desire & Decorum: Chapter 7, Opera St. James

For more choices, go to Desire & Decorum: Chapter 6, An Intimate Affair

For more on the Opera, go to Le Fantôme de l’Opéra

Desire & Decorum: Chapter 7, Opera St. James

In the last episode I had a dinner party with Mr. Sinclaire, and learned all about his real wife and the ugly side of the Duke. The two of us have grown closer together, and I don’t mind admitting I’m falling for the Mr. Darcylike man.

In this episode I’m invited to the opera, so first stop the clothing store!

You have the option of buying a beautiful dress, but as I’ve been invited to go with Duke Richards, yuck-I’m not buying anything nice. I’m just going to wear an old dress. He doesn’t need anything special.

The one I bought for the dinner will do nicely.

Poor Miss Parsons, we talk and she discusses a horrid date she had. It is with a gross old man, ugh, the girl can’t catch a break. Too bad my brother died or we could have been sisters.

As I head out of the shop, I run into Prince Hamid. You all remember him, the man who rescued Miss Parsons and I when Mr. Marcastle left us stranded in London.

He’s with the Duke, ugh! Can this guy just get lost!

The Duke

The Duke is planning on taking you and Miss Parson’s to see Handel’s Almira and is surprised to hear that I know of it. Seriously dude, my mama was an opera star.

Princess Almira has inherited the throne from her father, but he wishes that she marries someone from the House of Consalvo. The House of Consalvo has one son, but Princess Almira is not interested in him, and he only wants her for wealth and power. Instead, Princess Almira is in love with a man who has unknown parentage, Fernando. There are a lot of twists and turns in the opera, will it end happily or in tragedy?

So this makes me think of two things: first of all-wow what a crazy coincidence! That’s what’s kind of happening in my life.

And secondly:

Back to the game, Prince Hamid offers to pick you up when we go to the opera, but ugh the Duke is taking you. Bah.

Ugh, this guy!

However, the Duke has other business to attend to-so Prince Hamid offers to take you over early to the opera. Here is your chance to get a closer look at who your mother was!

I’ll get the secrets!

I go into the opera house and feel melancholy as I wished I had asked my mother more questions. I meet an actress who tells me my mother was an amazing singer, she was a big star until she became pregnant. They invite you to stay to watch, and as much as I love to I turned it down.

The stage is no place for a respectable girl, and I need to protect my reputation-I have Mr. Marcastle to deal with. And he is just waiting for an opportunity like this.

When you go home, you have a big surprise. Luke Harper is there with a letter from your father!

The hunt is on,

But which man do I want? It’s up to you to decide! Plus you have to fight the rumors that the Countess is spreading.

For more on Desire & Decorum, go to Desire & Decorum: Chapter 6, An Intimate Affair

For more on Choices, go to Kissing the Blarney Stone: 7 More Irish Heroes

For more on the opera, go to Le Fantôme de l’Opéra

For more ABBA, go to Dancing Queen

For more Jane Austen Quotes, go to Book Club Pick: Far Side of the Sea