The Accidental Bride

the accidental bride

The Accidental Bride: A Romantic Comedy by Janice Harayda

This book was recommended to me by Goodreads, based on one of the books I have read in the past (I can’t quite remember which one). It sounded interesting: a woman is planning on getting married, but a month before her wedding she starts having second thoughts. Is this really what she wants? As her family and friends are all forcing her hand, she turns to her love of Jane Austen to pull her through. Sounds great right?

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I HATED IT!

Hate YOu

It just was so, urgh the main character was too annoying.

Person hate talking

But let’s wait a moment before we go there. So the book is a Bridget Jones’ Diary style adaption of Pride and Prejudice. The main character is Lily Blair (LB like Lizzie Bennet) who is from an upper class but not old money super wealthy family. Her mother is a meddler (like Mrs. Bennet) who has dreamed of the day her daughter is married off for years (just like Mrs. Bennet). Lily’s fiancé is from an old, established family with a ton of money (third wealthiest in Ohio), and a lawyer (just like in Bridget Jones’ Diary), named Mark (just like BJD) Danforth [M.D like Mr. Darcy].

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There is even a woman after Mark named Caroline, just like in Pride and Prejudice when Caroline Bingley uses every trick she can to get Darcy, but he’s not interested.

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So why did I dislike the book? Two words Lily Blair.

hate her

First of all she has no reason for breaking off the wedding. It’s not that she is unsure she wants to spend the rest of her life with Mark, or that she is unsure if she wants to stay in Ohio, or that she thinks her life is taking her in a new direction away from Mark, or that she has a great job offer, OR ANY OF THOSE THINGS! She just wakes up one morning and says she wants to cancel.

Say What

Yeah. With no thought to how this will affect her fiancé, family, or the fact that a ton of money has been spent. And the worst thing is that she doesn’t even feel remorse for this! She’s just like, “women don’t need to be married to be happy.” “Most marriages end in divorce anyway.” Where was this attitude months ago? How can you just do that to your fiancé without feeling bad or sorry or anything???!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I mean come on, that’s cruel, horrible, selfish, and immature.

And there is no reason to dump him. He’s kind, sweet, considerate, understanding, dependable, handsome…i.e:

Perfect Boyfriend

I mean it’s like when Meg Ryan dumped Bill Pullman in Sleepless in Seattle. Why would you? Bull Pullman’s such an amazingly sweet guy. It just makes no sense! And at least in Sleepless in Seattle, Meg Ryan felt bad about it. In here, Lily cares zip for how this affects anyone.

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And then Lily starts complaining about her life. Her newspaper in New York was being downsized so she moved home, got a job there, an apartment, but oh no woe is me! I had to move home! I have to live in a “small town”. I have a rich, perfect, boyfriend. I come from a family with money. Life is so hard.

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Come on,

Girl Please

Get over yourself. So what if New York didn’t turn out how you wanted it. Life is pretty amazing. I know plenty who would love that life. I would love that life.

So you see, she was just so darn annoying that I found the book a total dud.

Get it right

Ugh!

And Mark deserves way better than Lily.

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For more works based on Jane Austen, go to The Sense and Sensibility Screenplay & Diaries

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Fall For You

For more on Sleepless in Seattle, go to Part VIII: The Little Movie Line List

The Little Moreland

So you all are aware I’m a Disney fan right? I mean after my 30 Days of Disney I think it’s pretty obvious.

So being female, I loved the Disney princesses, my favorite being Princess Aurora from Sleeping Beauty and Belle from The Beauty and the Beast.

Now in the past I have compared myself to Cinderella, Snow White, and Belle; but I never thought I would compare myself to Ariel.

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Although now that I’m a redhead, I can see it.

In fact, I once took a quiz that said I was her, and I thought yeah right, that’s not me.

Go here to see which you belong in/are

Go here to see which you belong in/are

But the other day I was full on The Little Mermaid. Although, truth be told it wasn’t really the Disney version, but the hardcore Hans Christian Anderson one.

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You see in the original story The Little Mermaid was the youngest of six sisters. On her 15th birthday she is able to go up to the surface where she sees the prince and saves his life during a storm.

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She visits him everyday at his palace at the seashore and falls in love.

So romantic!

So romantic!

She soons becomes heartbroken as she can’t be with him. Nothing makes her happy, all she wants is to be human.

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The other mermaids tell her to be happy, she can live for over 300 years. But she won’t have it. She travels to the sea-witch who lives in a horrible area and is an awful crazy person. The sea-witch turns her into a human, for her voice. However, their are strong consequences. One, she can never, ever be a mermaid again. Two, every step will be agonizing pain. Three, if the prince marries another, the next morning she will die with no soul but turn into foam. The Little Mermaid agrees and her tongue is cut out.

Sadface Batman

She washes up on shore and the prince takes her into his house. He clothes her and cares for her, as if she was his little sister. He tells her of the girl that saved his life and that she will be the only one he will ever love.

Yay!

Yay!

Well time comes when the prince has to marry. And the girl chosen is so beautiful he agrees. In fact, he asks the Little Mermaid to be in the ceremony.

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She is in so much heartbreak as she is doomed to die while the man she loves is to be married to another.

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Her five sisters come to see her. They have cut off all their hair and given it to the sea-witch. They give her a knife and tell her that if she kills the prince and sprinkles his blood on her feet then she will be a mermaid again. But she must do it before the sunrise. She goes into the room to kill him…but she can’t do it. She loves him too much.

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So she dies.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Yes she dies. But she doesn’t turn to foam. She instead is given an eternal soul because she sacrificed herself for another.

Frozen Sacrifice self love you sisters

I always knew the books we read as kids strongly affect us.

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But I didn’t know how much until now.

So you are probably wondering what this has to do with me? How am I like The Little Mermaid? Book or film, I’m pretty sure all of you are wanting me to get to the point.

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Well for Halloween this year I decided to be Poison Ivy. She is my favorite villainess, as I think she is just amazing. I did a post on her that includes pics of the costume.

So anyways, this past summer I mentioned I was in Wyoming, and that is the land of meat + potatoes. Fruit and veggies are few and far between. So since that summer, I’ve been feeling large.

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Yes I do, but I noticed I have put more weight on in the butt/thigh area, or at least that’s what it feels like. So I decided that it was time to get into shape. I started doing squats and did about 100.  I was feeling pretty good about it too.

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The next day I was a bit sore, but still feeling good.

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The next day that was radically different. I drove to an interview, wearing my two inch boots, preparing to change into my four-inch heels when I got there. When I reached the site, I had to park a bit away. After I parked I changed into my heels.

Now I love heels. If you remember from a previous post, I’m short. I’m only 5’3, so heels are great as they finally make me closer to my dream height. They make me feel powerful and awesome. The higher the better.

High

So walking in 3-5 inch heels is not unusual for me. However, this time was much different. It WAS SO PAINFUL.

No no no no no

No no no no no

I felt just like The Little Mermaid.

“It will feel like a sword were passing through your body…each step you take will feel like sharp knives piercing your feet. “

That’s how it felt with me. Each step was utter agony as my muscles just burned and were so inexplicably sore.

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I had to take so many breaks. As soon as I could I went to my car and changed my shoes. I’ve decided to rest from squats. And heels. I’ll just have to accept my bod for what it is.

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Or focus on a different exercise!

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For more on The Little Mermaid, go to I’m Not Gonna Lose Her Again

For more on Hans Christian Anderson, go to Disney Lesson

For more on my fashion style, go to Fashionably Postworthy

For more on Disney, go to Who’s Afraid of Cory Wolf?

For more fairy tales, go to Happily Ever Aftermath

For more book-y posts, go to Conan the Librarian

For more of my favorite quotes, go to Part XI: A Movie Line List ‘s Excellent Adventure

I’ll Always Be There When You Need Me: Anastasia (1997)

Romantic Moment #9

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Anastasia (1997)

So this film is based on two things, the person Anastasia and the 1956 film of the same name. Anastasia was the youngest daughter of Czar Nicholas II Romanov. With the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917, the Czars were kicked out of power and later killed. The only body to not be found was Anastasia, which lead to a rumor that she wasn’t dead, but was still out there and would return one day. There was actually a woman who claimed she was the real Anastasia, going by the name Anna, but even though she knew countless details that only a Romanov would have known; it was later determined that she wasn’t Anastasia. The 1956 film, while starring the wonderful Ingrid Bergman and the very handsome Yul Brynner; was not very good. Yul Brynner was too mean and Bergman was too hysterical, etc. It just sucked. So about twenty years later Fox remade a animated version that had more likable characters, a more adventurous plot, and a collection of wonderful songs. I love the songs in this movie; Rumor in St. Petersburg, Journey to the Past, Paris Holds the Key (To Your Heart)and (my fav) At the Beginning.

That said, there is one other little thing I want to clear up. Anastasia is not a disney movie. I REPEAT! ANASTASIA IS NOT A DISNEY MOVIE! DISNEY DID NOT MAKE THIS MOVIE!!! It was 20th Century Fox! FOX MADE IT! FOX! FOX! FOX! FOX! It just urks me how people call it a Disney movie because it IS NOT A DISNEY MOVIE!

Anya

So the film begins in 1916 Russia, where the Czar is giving a party. His mother, the Dowager Empress (Angela Lansbury) is visiting from France. She and his youngest daughter, have a close connection and the Dowager gives her a secret music box and a locket that is a key, that have the saying “Together in Paris”. The ball is interrupted by their “holy man” Rasputin (he was a real creepo) played by Christopher Lloyd. Rasputin is mad at the Romanovs for trying to banish him, and has sold his soul to brung destruction on all of them. The Dowager and Anastasia are saved by a kitchen boy, who sneaks them out through a secret passage. They run for a train, but Anastasia trips and is left behind.

Fast forward ten years, the Dowager Empress has put out notice of a heavy reward to anyone who can bring her, her granddaughter. Dimitri (John Cusack), the kitchen boy, is all grown up and has been having tryouts to find someone to play Anastasia so he can get the money and be gone from Russia forever. He and his partner, Vladimir, an ex member of the Royal Court, both have the knowhow to get it done. Dimitri also has the music box.

Meanwhile, Anya (Anastasia), played by Meg Ryan, has been living with amnesia in an orphanage. Now being of age, she is being sent out to work. Instead of following the directions given to her, she decides to follow a stray dog she found and head to St. Petersburg and ultimately, Paris.

The two meet up in the old Romanov palace as Dimitri and Vladmir have gone there to lick their wounds, no applicants worked out, and Anya wants to get papers from Dimitri to get out of Russia. They notice her similarities to Tsarina Alexandra and offers it as a potential way to find her family, not telling her about the money (you know that old cliché). They board the train and are on there way

Meanwhile, Rasputin is rotting in Purgatory, as he can’t go off to hell until all the Romonavs are dead, and can’t go topside because he lost his glass vial of evil I guess (I’m not sure what its real name is), is lost. Bartok, his pet bat has found the vial and goes down telling him about Anastasia’s “rebirth”. Rasputin goes up to kill her.

Back on the train, Anya and Dimitri feel a little something for each other but are mean to each other not wanting to admit it. They have to move to the baggage cart as things have changed under Stalin. While there, Rasputin attacks and they have to switch to a boat. Rasputin attacks them, and Dimitri saves her. They eventually reach Paris, and Anya passes all the tests, solidifying it when she answers that she was saved by a kitchen boy. Dimitri hears this and knows that she is the real deal. The only issue is, the Dowager has decreed to see no one again. They decide to surprise her at the opera, Dimitri deciding to let her go and to do everything he could to help her connect to her family. Dimitri’s scheme has reached the Dowager’s ears and she really lays into him, with Anya overhearing. Anya is pissed that Dimitri lied to her and runs off to her hotel room. Dimtri then drives the Dowager over there and the two talk and are united. They have a ball to welcome her back, with Vladmir being reinsteated and honored with medals. The Dowager offers Dimitri the money, but he refuses (sound like someone you know?) and takes off. That night, Rasputin attacks Anya, Dimitri returns, and they defeat Rasputin. The two elope and run off, Anya telling her grandmother that she will see her again soon.

Most Romantic Moment:

Just like 10 Things I Hate About You it was hard to choose the “most romantic moment” as it was chock full, but I can only pick one.

So Dmitri has left. He could have told Anya what he did for her when she was a kid. He could tell her that  he was the one who saved her as a child. He could have told her that he figured out she was Anastasia and tried to help her at the Opera to get in to see the Dowager. He could have told her that he made sure that the two had a chance to talk because he wanted to reunite her with her family.  He could have told her he didn’t take the money. Instead, he wanted to make her dreams come true. She made him want to reform his conman ways.

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But Dmitri has no illusions. Even if he changed his ways, he knows nothing will happen between them.

Dimitri

So he leaves. He leaves because he knows that she needs more than he can give, she needs someone better. (Sound like someone else we know?)

you deserve better

Meanwhile, back at the ball Anastasia is being attacked by Rasputin. He has her down, and just when you think its over, Dimitri comes running in to save the day.

OMG

Yes! HE CAME BACK TO BE WITH HER! Even though it doesn’t make any sense. Even though coming back might not change anything, he DOES IT ANYWAY! Even though there is no guarantee that they will get together. Even though he knows she still might be angry with him and kick him to the curb. It doesn’t matter. He loves her so much he has to tell her how he feels. That’s so romantic!

So romantic!

So romantic!

And in the case of true love,  coming back always works out.

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He’s always been there for her.

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Anything Can Happen: An Affair to Remember (1957)

Romantic Moment #10

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An Affair to Remember (1957)

I love this movie so much! It is one of my favorite romantic films. I mean it has CARY GRANT in it, so already you know it is going to be wonderful.

Aw!

Aw!

Now even if you haven’t seen it, this film may sound familiar to you. This is the film the Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks film that Sleepless in Seattle is based around. An Affair to Remember is the film that Meg Ryan’s character, Annie, and Rosie O’Donnell’s character, Becky, are crazy about. Even Tom Hanks character Sam’s sister Suzy, (played by Tom Hanks’ wife Rita Wilson) adores it. In fact if you haven’t seen either movie I recommend watching An Affair to Remember before Sleepless in Seattle. You just enjoy the movie on a deeper level that way.

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An Affair to Remember is a remake of Love Affair starring Charles Boyer and Irene Dunne. As much as I like original films and Irene Dunne, I prefer An Affair to Remember because of Cary Grant. Like I said before, I’m a big fan.

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An Affair to Remember is about two people who meet on a cruise and fall in love, although both’s affections are engaged elsewhere. Nickie Ferrante, (Cary Grant), is a playboy engaged to Lois Clark; while Terry McKay, (Deborah Kerr), is mistress to Kenneth Bradley. The two try to stay apart but spend dinners together, walks, Terry even meets Nick’s grandmother; and the two end up falling in love.

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As both feel they are not good enough with the life styles they have been living, (both living off money provided from the people they are dating.) They agree to each live on their own and meet up in six months at the top of the Empire State Building. If the other doesn’t show up; the one waiting will know that they decided to go on with their life in the original direction planned.

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In six months, Nickie is a painter and he eagerly rushes to the Empire State Building. Terry is a singer in a nightclub, and on her way to meet Nickie, she gets hit by a cab; paralyzed for the rest of her life. Nickie ends up waiting the whole night for her, but she never comes.

It's so Sad!

It’s so Sad!

Terry tells Nickie nothing about the accident, feeling that she is not worthwhile being paralyzed. She is too proud to go to him, and too scared. The two cross paths at a concert, and Nickie sees her with her old boyfriend, hurt and betrayed at what he thinks she did.

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Will they be reunited or is this affair over for good?

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Most Romantic Moment: Reunited Lovers

This romantic moment comes at the very end. It is the most romantic and I am so sorry I don’t have a video to show you, but I couldn’t find one.

It is Christmas day and Terry has decided to spend it home alone, when Nickie shows up, angry, bitter and hurt; but determined to give her the shawl that his grandmother left Terry when she died.

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He tells her he painted a picture of her, and didn’t sell it. Instead a woman in a wheelchair wanted it, and didn’t have enough money so he had his dealer give it to her.

Nickie Ferrante: You know, l painted you like that, with the shawl. l wish you could have seen it. Courbet said it was one of my best. l didn’t think l could ever part with it, but there was no reason to keep it any longer. l couldn’t take money for it because, well, you know…So Courbet told me a young woman came into the gallery and… she liked it. She saw in it what l’d hoped you’d see, so… l told Courbet to give it to her. Because he said she didn’t have any money, and not only that, she was…Anyway, l told him to give it to her…”

At first he is angry that she is so indifferent to him, and never even gets up to greet him just laying on the couch; but as he is talking he starts thinking about the woman in the wheelchair and Terry’s actions. Could they be the same person?

suspicious Hmm

Nickie looks around, and then he sees it. THE PAINTING!

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He runs to her and holds her in his arms.

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This is the part everyone starts weeping at, bawling. Who can blame them? It is such a sweet moment, the two reunited.

“Terry McKay: Darling, don’t look at me like that.
Nickie Ferrante: Why didn’t you tell me? If it had to happen to one of us, why did it have to be you?
Terry McKay: It was nobody’s fault but my own. l was looking up. It was the nearest thing to heaven. You were there.
Nickie Ferrante: Oh, darling.
Terry McKay: Don’t worry, darling. If you can paint, l can walk. Anything can happen, don’t you think?
Nickie Ferrante: Yes, darling.
Terry McKay: Yes, darling.”

So romantic

So romantic

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So in Sleepless in Seattle, you get some great scenes of the women talking about this moment.

One of the best scenes is in the beginning when Becky and Annie are watching An Affair to Remember. I love this scene because it is the kind of conversations I have with my friends after I watch a great movie. I am always Annie in these scenarios.

“Annie Reed: Now those were the days when people knew how to be in love.
Becky: You’re a basket case.
Annie Reed: They knew it. Time, distance, nothing could separate them, because they knew it was right. It was real. It was… 
Becky:  A movie. That’s your problem. You don’t want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie.


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And then one of my favorite scenes is when Suzy shares the story of An Affair to Remember with her brother Sam and husband. The guys make fun of her, but I love this scene because when I bring up the story of An Affair to Remember I tell it in the exact same way Suzy does.

I love this scene because I can see myself having the reaction of Annie or Becky.

And in the end Annie and Sam get the romantic ending that Terry and Nickie never got.

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To start Romance is in the Air from the beginning, go to Boom Box of Love: Say Anything (1989)

For the previous post, go to You’re Just Too Good Too Be True: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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For more on An Affair to Remember, go to People Have to Snatch at Happiness When They Can in This World. It is Always Easier to Lose Than to Find: O Pioneers!

For more on Cary Grant, go to On the 7th Day ‘Til Christmas: The Bishop’s Wife (1947)

For more on falling in love at a bad time, go to If I Never Knew You

For more remakes, go to A Tale So Strange It Must Be True: The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (2005)