Creepy Baby, Vampire Worldwide Tour, and Psych Ending. At Least it Has Lee Pace: Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn, Part II (2012)

Twilight on a Thursday instead of a Saturday?

Weeeeeell, as what usually happens, I have fallen behind. I had something else scheduled for today but the review is not easy, so I decided to move this review up a day.

Yes I was never planning on reviewing the last Twilight on a Saturday as Saturday the 30th holds a very special anniversary! (Any guesses what it could be?) So Twilight was always going to be moved up a day, it’s just going to be an even extra day. I don’t feel bad about breaking the symmetry as this film was not very good and psyched everyone out. To be honest I think everyone who spent money on a ticket watching this should get their money back as it was really a waste.

At least on the positive side, even though this is a terrible movie it means I will finally be done with Twilight.

No more Twilight ever!

So as I said in my previous reviews of Twilight, I have never read or watched this “saga” before this year. I remember when the books and films came out (I’m 29) and how crazy everyone went over them, including one of my best friends, but they never interested me.

This really happened at my school, but not with a shovel.

But my niece was visiting this summer and she really wanted to watch them, so I thought why not give them a look over. And do #twihardsaturdays (although today ended up being a #twihardthursday ) for Horrorfest X.

After watching these I do not understand how this captured the interest of so many. I mean I was there when it happened and witnessed it, but I’m still in shock as to why, why do so many people like them? Like of all the books in the world why was this terribly written one the one that “made it”?

I find them all to be really boring and to not make any sense at all, but at least I am now finally at the end.

So Edward and Bella are horrible parents, which doesn’t surprise me as they can’t even take care of themselves or make good decisions. Like where is the baby in all this “I’m a vampire nonsense that we already witnessed in the first film. Like they don’t even care who is watching her.

I also hate the name Reneesme, it is an extremely dumb choice and they should have listened to Rosalie (except no one does).

Jacob comes to see Bella and they are so mean calling him stinky. They are so mean to the werewolves. It is really uncomfortable how the Natice Americans are the werewolves and are told they stink and aren’t good enough. Hmmm, it makes me wonder about Stephanie Meyer.

Hmmm…

The show the baby and it is SUPER creepy. The baby is ABSOLUTELY terrifying, it looks like a robot. And then have a weird scene where the baby remembers trying to kill her mother. She was trying to end this series I guess, and failed. If only she actually could have.

Issues arise as Jacob is very protective of the baby and imprints on it. And I don’t care how they try to explain it, him imprinting on the baby and falling in love with her is weird.

But his creepy pedophilia “saves” the baby, (you know Stephanie Meyer is weird and this film has me really wondering about her) as because a werewolf imprinted the baby cannot be killed by then but must be protected. But Edward chooses to say nothing and let Bella beat Jacob up. I can’t blame him though, I’d probably do the same thing.

Bella is all mad about the Nessie nickname but I’m like you gave her the dumb name in the first place.

Why is Edward the only married vampire? How come Emmett and Jasper don’t marry their ladies?

So with Bella being a vampire, they made up a story that she became really ill and is in Switzerland getting treatment. The plan is for her to “die”, the Cullens to move, and for them to return after all who knew them has died. I’m like does she even care about her dad Charlie? He’s probably trying to get tickets to Switzerland to see her.

Jacob is all mad that the Cullens are planning to lead. He doesn’t want them to take the baby. He decides to show his wolf self to Charlie in an attempt to get the Cullens stay.

I feel bad for Charlie. I wish he would get remarried and have a good wife and a grateful daughter.

The budget is not very good in this, I don’t know where the money went (probably to that creepy baby). The makeup is horrible and the CGI is really bad.

So they have Bella meet up with her das and introduce the baby, who still looks like demon spawn, and to be honest not much happens. This movie is one of the most boring-est things I have ever seen. They did not need to make this into two films at all; this should have been one.

The baby grows really fast and continues to look extremely creepy. creepy CGI face .

One day Irina sees Bella, Jacob, and Reneesme out together and gets really angry about, deciding to tell the Volturi who aren’t even that scary.

Irina thinks Renesme is an immortal child. What kind of what is that? You know what I don’t really care.

You know, how come the vampire ladies can’t sleep with a human man and have a baby, why is it the vampire men are the only ones with the magic semen/venom? That seemed really unfair to me.

So this plot is weird. I mean the Volturi aren’t that scary, Bella could take them all out as one none of their powers work on her and she’s super strong as she’s a baby vamp (you know the whole plot to the previous film). But they are scared and decide they need to take their baby to all these vampires to prove she is only a half vamp.

So this becomes Passport Around the World Vampire Edition.

This movie is really, really, really boring. And again should have been one film not two parts.

But then something happens to make this film a little more bearable: Lee Pace. I’m like Lee Pace you deserve so much better than this film but thank you for making my viewing a bit more enjoyable.

Even though Lee Pace is in this, there isn’t enough of him. It reminds me of The Mortal Instruments when they had Aidan Turner and just wasted him. He was hardly in the film and I was like they should have made the film ALL him. That’s how I feel about this film and Lee Pace, they should have had him in it more. Such a handsome man, I have this still from Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day.

I’m totally checked out this film. Is so boring I’m done.

Where’s Buffy when you need her?

From Buffy the Vampire Slayer

What is this Volturi Michael Sheen wearing? Is he going to the circus? What’s with all the gold braid. What is Michael Sheen doing? What is that noise? Is he having a stroke.

So we have a fight but like where is the epic music for the fight? Like they should have had intense music.

It’s a really lame fight though as one man can control the elements and he does nothing. Why doesn’t he set them all on fire?

The battle scene is lame and the vampires are like super easy to kill. They are like ceramic vampire Barbie dolls. You can just pull their heads off to kill them.

It turns out to be all a vision from Alice and they don’t fight. Everyone just goes home.

That’s it. That’s how they decide to end this.

This film was a literal waste. Like I can’t believe they made this. It had no plot, it was boring, and to be honest-dumb.

So that’s it! We are done everybody!

It’s over, I’m free!!

For more on Twilight, go to Vampire Wedding, Vampire Baby, and Bella Finally Gets What She Always Wanted: Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn Part I (2011)

For more vampires, go to You’re Kids. I’m a Vampire!: Mom’s Got a Date With a Vampire (2000)

For more werewolves, go to The True Villain is Not the Volturi But Bella’s Abusive Manipulation: The Twilight Saga, New Moon (2009)

I Choose You: Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day (2008)

Most Romantic Moment #13

 Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day (2008)

This film takes place shortly before the “official” start of WWII in London, England. The film is based on the novel of the same name, published in 1938

 Miss Pettigrew (Frances McDormand) is a governess/nanny, who has quite some trouble keeping a job. At the start of the film she is fired and denied her pay. She bumps into a young man who mentions he has just been released from prison and flees from him, leaving her luggage behind. She heads to a soup line, but gets bumped into again and loses her meal. This noise attracts the attention of a fashionably dressed couple from across the way

The next day Miss Pettigrew heads over to the employment agency where she learns that after her last firing, she has run out of chances. While she is pleading, the phones rings and a Delysia Lafosse asks for a person to be sent over. While the people at the employment agency are distracted, Miss Pettigrew takes off with the address in hopes of getting the job.

When she reaches Delysia Lafosse’s apartment, she finds an undressed, half-asleep woman (Amy Adams). After Miss Pettigrew introdices herself and tells her what time it is, Delysia gets freaked out as she has to have the entire apartment cleaned up, with Phil up and out of there. Miss Pettigrew tells her she will help get her little boy out, only to discover that Phil is not a little boy, but one of Delysia’s boyfriends. You see Delysia wasn’t asking for a governess, but she needed a social secretary. Anyways, Delysia is sleeping with Phil in order to get the part in the musical he is producing and her big chance to become a real star. The only problem? Delysia’s other boyfriend, boss, and the man paying for her clothes, food, and apartment; Nick is on his way and will NOT be happy if he finds Delysia with another man. With the help of Miss Pettigrew Phil is out the door, and shortly Nick is bumped out too.

Then the two head off to a fashion show where Delysia’s friend, Edythe Dubarry, is showing some pieces. Edythe is dating the famous underclothing designer, Joe Blomfield (Ciarán Hinds). Edythe and Joe are on the outs as Joe thinks Edythe is cheating on him as she was out when he called her the night before. Miss Pettigrew realizes that Edythe is the same woman she saw the night before, carrying on with a man that was clearly not Joe. Joe and Miss Pettigrew also meet and talk, with Miss Pettigrew deveoping a slight crush on him. Then Miss Pettigrew is whisked away by the girls for a complete makeover.

While shopping, Edythe recognizes Miss Pettigrew from the soup line and knows Miss Pettigrew saw her with another man. She blackmails Miss Pettigrew into helping her get Joe back or else she’ll tell Delysia the truth about her being a “social secretary”.

When the girls finish shopping, Miss Pettigrew and Delysia return to Delysia’s apartment. There they find a young man playing the piano. It turns out to be the same man recently released from prison that ran into Miss Pettigrew the day before. His name is Michael and he plays the piano in Nick’s club, accompanying Delysia, the singer. You see Michael is her third boyfriend. Unlike Nick who uses her for sex, and boy Phil who has never had the attentions of a woman before; Michael is in love with Delysia. He planned this big romantic scene on a boat in the river Thames, equipped with champagne and a ring to propose. Delysia never showed up, so Michael drank all the Champagne himself, got drunk, tried to steal the crown jewels; and was arrested and thrown in prison. Michael is planning on leaving for America and wants Delysia to marry him and come with. Delysia is unsure as she wants more than Michael can give her. Miss Pettigrew tells him that Delysia will have an answer by the end of the night.

That night holds a lot for them as Delysia has the announcement of the casting of the musical to worry over and how to handle young Phil. What to do about Nick as he is expecting payment for all the things he buys her. And whether or not to go off with Michael, the man who loves her but is poor. For Miss Pettigrew she has to help Delysia get the part in the musical, keep Nick at bay, encourage Delysia to make the right decision involving love, get Joe and Edythe back together, and figure out just what her role as social secretary really is.

***Most Romantic Moment***

One of the most romantic moments for me comes near the end of the film. Delysia has just won the lead in the musical, but had to declare her undying love to Phil to guarantee it. Nick understands, but still expects to get his payment from her. Michael, after hearing Phil shout his and Delysia’s undying love, is leaving to America, never to see her again. Everything in Delysia’s life is going as planned but yet, completely wrong. Just then the city is warned to take cover from an air attack. As Delysia is hiding under the piano she and Miss Pettigrew discuss love, Miss Pettigrew telling her about the man she loved but lost in WWI. They had nothing really, but to Miss Pettigrew their love was more than enough to build a life on. This encourages Delysia, and as soon as it’s safe she rushes toward Michael to tell him how she feels.

As she is running after him, Nick stops her and tells her to sing. Michael comes to her rescue, but Nick is a better fighter and knocks him down.

While Michael is recovering from that great hook, Delysia rushes over to him and proposes!

Delysia: Is the offer still open?

Nick: Get up!

[Michael stands and Nick knocks him back down with a punch to the nose]

Delysia: Well, is it a yes or is it a no?

Michael: What?

Delysia: Well will you doggone marry me or will you doggone not?

Michael: [he grins in delight, scrambles up, socks Nick square in the jaw, and pulls Delysia to her feet] Yes. God help me, yes! [they kiss fervently]

I love this scene because Delysia asking Michael to marry her showed him that she really, truly, completly loved him and wanted to be with him. Plus it gives him the strength to knock Nick out of the way.

Yep it’s not the money that matters, but the man.

To start Romance is in the Air: Part III from the beginning, go to I Can See Your Beauty: The Breakfast Club (1985)

For the previous post, go to I Don’t Want to Own You, I Just Want to Be With You: A Room With a View (1985)

For more on Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, go to Part VIII: The Little Movie Line List

For more on Amy Adams, go to I Don’t Dance or Sing, Except When I’m With You: Enchanted (2007)

For more on Ciaran Hinds, go to A Bit Pottery About Jane Austen

For more films based on a book, go to What a Fanatic!

For more period piece films, go to Beast or Man: The Wolfman (2010)

For more of my favorite quotes, go to Marry Me: Gigi (1958)

Sisterly Roles

Ah sisters.

The joys and sorrow of having a sister:

You love them, you hate them, you love them again. Those who have sisters know the ups and downs. Those who don’t, take my word that the above song is pretty accurate.

Now I could go on about my sisters, but that’s not what this post is going to be on. Instead I am focusing on the sisterly bond between the Dashwood sisters.

With the Dashwoods we have three sisters: Elinor, Marianne, and Margaret; although Margaret doesn’t play as big a role as Elinor and Marianne.

Elinor Dashwood

Elinor is the eldest and she is the sense in the title. Elinor is only nineteen years old, but she is wise beyond her years and incredibly mature. She is level-headed, cool in judgement, and always thinks through very clearly on any decision being made. She’s pretty much the sensible older sister that has been copied and used in books, movies, TV shows, etc.

When Fanny comes in and is completely rude to the entire family, Mrs. Dashwood is eager to move out. But Elinor is able to stop her as she can keep a strong hold on her emotions as they need to stay there longer. Now she isn’t completely cold-hearted or an ice-queen. It’s just that she is a closed book.

“She had an excellent heart: her disposition was affectionate, and her feelings were strong but she knew how to govern them…”

She has sense and knows when to say something and when not to.

This is something that no one else in her family does. Now it is true that keeping feelings in can be wrong.

But on the other hand that isn’t always the best thing. Having your feelings out in the world can also cause a world of hurt.

So let’s move onto the middle sister:

Marianne Dashwood

Now Marianne isn’t just some stupid or light-hearted, fluff type of girl. She is beautiful, kind, generous, etc. The only thing is, her feelings were never held in moderation. That is, never keeping them in check. If she is happy, everyone knows. And if she is sad everyone knows.

Pretty much she’s walking around with no filter.

More like feelings than thoughts.

But such is sisters. I did a paper on sisterly roles in college for my family psychology class. When you have sisters, especially those close in age, they tend to gravitate to opposite traits in order to create their own identity, be unique, and carve a role for themselves in the family.

So we have here Sense in Elinor and Sensibility (feelings) in Marianne.

Therefore one that strives for sense as that gives her support and makes her feel completely stable in life. The younger sister sees that her older one is extremely sensible, which makes her want to be the opposite and governed solely by feelings. Also Elinor is the eldest so she also feels more of having to be dependable and responsible for the family.

Just another case of being a sister.

For more on Sense and Sensibility, go to Promises Were Made to Be Broken

More on Coco Chanel, go to Women in Black

For more on White Christmas, go to 25 Films of Christmas

For more of my favorite songs, go to It’s Fantastico!

For more of my favorite quotes, go to I Have A Problem