It Doesn’t Exist

Ever feel as if finding the right guy is impossible?

It’s like every guy you know is a loser.

That is if you can even meet single men.

They have the worst lines (I wrote a whole post on that). I mean one time I had the same guys in a corvette hit on me two days in a row. You’d think they’d get the point that I’m not interested and that they should really invest in some new lines.

Not to mention how guys seem to treat girls these days. The act like you are just a commodity and that you need to be giving of your whole self just because they’re willing to drop a couple bucks for food.

And if you refuse they call you names and say that you are being a prude, poor sport, b*****, or worse.

No wonder we girls are obsessed with fictional men.

It sometimes feels as if you will never find anybody. As Marianne in Sense and Sensibility puts it:

I mean aren’t there any good men anymore?

But don’t give up.

That dream guy is out there. It may take him a while, but eventually you two will meet up.

For more on Marianne Dashwood, go to Some Things Never Change

For more Sarah Dessen, go to The Final Chapter

For more on Sabrina the Teenage Witch, go to Food, Food, Food!

Only A Woman: Queen of Outer Space (1958)

How did she manage to overthrow the men? They didn’t take her seriously. They were preparing for war. After all, she was only a woman.

Now this is a film I didn’t really care for. It was HIGHLY sexist.

So the film is about four astronauts going on a mission to Venus to try and find out what it holds.

The interesting thing is that they used the same space station and uniforms from Forbidden Planet.  I spotted it right away.

When the guys arrive at Venus they discover it full of only women!

I know you guys are thinking that it sounds really great. However you are dead wrong!!!! These women hate men.

The women take the men and lock ’em up.

The whole Venetian society is run by one woman, the Queen, who is the biggest man hater of them all.

Now Zsa Zsa Gabor is often thought to be “the queen of outer space”, but she is just an underling (unfair as she gets to be all over the poster). However, it is actually played by Laurie Mitchell. Anyway Queen Yllana (Mitchell) hates men, and when she took over the planet she rid them of them. She wears a mask and forces everyone else in a position of power to follow that credence.

While they lock up the men, we get to hear all the beautiful things that the men say:

Lt. Larry Turner: How can a doll as cute as that be such a pain in the neck?

Lovely guys, just lovely.

Ugh

So the Queen doesn’t know how the men were able to get to Venus and that is something she is trying to figure out.

Capt. Neal Patterson: I didn’t say anything to the Queen. I didn’t want to put her on guard, but I’m beginning to think our being here is not an accident.

Prof. Konrad: I’m afraid I must agree with you.

Lt. Mike Cruze: What is that? What is that?

Capt. Neal Patterson: The ray that destroyed the space station and knocked us off our course may have originated right here.

Lt. Mike Cruze: Oh, come off it! How could a bunch of women invent a gizmo like that?

Lt. Larry Turner: Sure, and even if they invented it, how could they aim it? You know how women drivers are!

Ugh, men

They find out that Talleah (Zsa Zsa Gabor) was the one who brought them. She leads a rebellion that doesn’t like being away from men. She wants to end the Queen’s rule.

She and the Captain of the vessel start a relationship. However, someone else is interested in the Captain.  The Queen. She saw him and wants him.

He thinks he can use it to his advantage, by romancing her.

Talleah: I hate her! I hate that queen!

Lt. Mike Cruze: She’s jealous!

Lt. Larry Turner: Twenty-six million miles from Earth, and the little dolls are just the same.

Ugh, men

So he tries to romance her and the Queen is actually eating it up. In fact he convinces her, that he likes her so much he won’t be turned away by her face. She is so convinced of his care that she allows him to unmask her.

She has horrible scarring on her face from radiation. This is why she hates men. No one would give her any attention because of her ugly face. She becomes so angry she wants to destroy the opera house…I mean the Earth!

“Queen Yllana: I’m going to allow myself the exquisite pleasure of watching you while I obliterate the Earth.”

While Queen Yllana is crazy and evil, but at the same time you understand it. She could have been a nice person, but if no one is willing to give her a chance and look past her outer self, than how could she not turn evil?

So in the end Talleah and her group take down the Queen and allow the men to roam free. And Talleah becomes the new queen.

Ugh, men

Yeah, I didn’t really like it. It wasn’t that interesting and I hated the men’s attitude to the women. It was just so hard to get through.

To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

To go to the previous post, go to What Is This Thing?

For more on aliens, go to Friday Night Fun

For more on men being a disappointment, go to Men What Happened?

For more on radiation poisoning, go to They’re Coming to Get You Barbara

For more on unmasking, go to Feast Your Eyes on My Accursed Ugliness

Fashion Show

So I work early Monday mornings in a music hall at school that doubles as a classroom and I love watching the clothing people wear as it can be really cute. For instance there is this motorcycle jacket that this guy wears that I absolutely love. I know it would look good on me and would fit perfectly as the guy is close to my size, he’s about a few inches taller than me.

But today we had some really interesting clothes. There is a girl that wears fluorescent clothes every time, and today had pj pants with feet on them.

There was this other woman who was wearing some Tron: Legacy-esque pants.

But the most interesting thing that was worn today was what the motorcycle jacket guy was wearing. He had on his jacket, black cowboy boots, and bright, red pants.

Now I know what you’re thinking, Marty tried the colored pants in Back to the Future III and it did not work out.

“Doc: Marty, you’re going to have to do something about those clothes. You walk around town dressed like that, you’re liable to get shot.

Marty McFly: Or hanged.

Doc: What idiot dressed you in that outfit?

Marty McFly: You did.”

Which incidentally I got to see in real life! ❤

Now, on the contrary, I think wearing colored pants shows that you have some confidence. It takes a lot of moxie and chutzpah to do so. And instead of looking horrible, he totally stalked in and as Ted would say:

For more on Back to the Future, go to At the End of the Rainbow

For more on How I Met Your Mother go to The End