Something’s Out There and It’s Killing People! And If It’s Monsters, Nobody’s Going to Do a Thing About it Except Us!: The Monster Squad (1987)

Something’s out there and it’s killing people! And if it’s monsters, nobody’s going to do a thing about it except us!

I first saw this film on a Nostalgia Critic review and thought it sounded absolutely hilarious. When I saw that it was on Amazon, I had to watch it. Then I made my mom watch it with me, then my sister, and then my friends.

If you are a fan of the classic monster films: Dracula, Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, The Mummy, and The Creature from the Black Lagoon, then you will love this! This film brings them all together in a wonderful way,

The film starts off in Europe with Van Helsing trying to seal the monsters into limbo for life, but failing. Instead the spell just makes the monsters pause their hauntings and sleep with all the villagers and Van Helsing being trapped in limbo instead.

Time goes by and we are in a small town in the USA. There we have two boys who are always getting into trouble as instead of paying attention in class they draw monsters. The two kids, (they have names but are never really used so I am going to call them Leader and Sidekick), are in charge of the monster club. The monster club also has their friend who is really young, Baby, and another friend who they call Fat Kid who’s name is actually Horace.

Then there is a new guy who wants to join the club, the Cool guy. He has a leather jacket, smokes cigarettes, has long dark hair. My friend pointed out that he actually looks a lot like Nick from Jimmy Neutron. He doesn’t seem like the type of guy who would be interested in a monster club, but he passes every test. The Leader does not want him to join, but the rest of the team do and he’s on the squad. Cool kid turns out to also be interested in spying on Sidekick’s sister, who lives next door to the clubhouse, and always changes in front of her open, blinds up window. They always do this in movies and it makes zero sense!

Meanwhile, the monsters have arrived. Dracula was having himself and Frankenstein’s monster flown over, but a pilot was too curious and when he realized what they were, he dumped the coffins. Dracula searches for his friend and while doing so wakes up the Mummy, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, and the Wolf Man.

The Leader’s father is a police officer and he is having issues with his wife. She wants him to be home more, but he has to work. He starts investigating the “stolen” mummy and gets called away with someone claiming they are a werwolf. The Wolf man freaks out and is killed at the police station…or is he? Only silver can kill a werewolf, so he resurrects and transforms, taking off to join his monster club.

Sorry!

The leader’s mom bought a Van Helsing book in German a yard sale for his son. She leaves it for him; along with a note that a Dr. Acula wants to buy the book. The Leader has to write it out a few times like he thinks it is an anagram and I’m like it is SO OBVIOUS! What kind of Monster Squad leader are you?

It’s super obvious!

There is a man who lives down the way that speaks German and all the kids like to say he is a spy or monster. The squad go over to have him read the book and find out what it says and he tells them it is a spell to seal monsters away forever. All you need is a virgin to read out the words. Aw, so that must have been where they went wrong in the beginning.

They try to figure out what to do next and where to find a virgin, because even though the spell didn’t say it they assume it has to be a girl, when they are all virgins (maybe not Rudy he is a little older), when the Leader’s sister comes over and wants to join the club again. The boys are all no girls allowed, but then she shows that she has Frankenstein’s monster. They all sit in the treehouse trying to decide what to do next when Frankenstein’s monster acts just as pervy as the boys, looking at sidekick’s sister and takes a picture of her.

The squad finds out that the monsters are hiding out in an old abandoned house, down the street. It turns out that Dracula is there because he is looking for the amulet he needs to have the monsters walk the Earth forever. The squad tries to go in and manage to swipe the amulet, but now the real fight will begin as they have only so much time to complete the spell and seal the monsters away forever.

So the monster experts: the Leader and Sidekick do nothing to try and find a way to stop the monsters. Their only plan of attack is to just talk a lot. The real star of this was the cool guy who makes wooden stakes, melts silver for bullets, steals an archery set from the school to shoot down the vampire brides, etc. He’s really awesome as in the grand battle he takes monsters down left and right.

Horace is also really cool as he has been bullied and hurt, but when push comes to shove he takes out the Creature. It is such a great scene as his previous bullies tell him great job fat kid, and he tells them not to call him that.

E.J.: Hey Fat Kid! Good job.

Horace: My name’s not fat kid. [cocks shotgun] It’s Horace!

After an epic battle, the kids save the day. This is a really fun and great movie that I highly recommend. You should definitely give it a watch.

For more monster filled films or tv shows, go to Munster Masquerade: The Munsters (1966)

For more Dracula, go to The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Meet Dracula, Part I: The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries (1977)

For more on Frankenstein’s monster, go to We’ve Seen Dracula, the Wolf Man, and Frankenstein’s Monster: Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

For more on the mummy, go to Welcome to a New World of Gods and Monsters: The Mummy (2017)

For more on The Wolf Man, go to Beast or Man: The Wolfman (2010)

For more on The Creature from the Black Lagoon, go to There Are Many Strange Legends in the Amazon: The Creature From The Black Lagoon (1954)

For more ‘80s films, go to I Just Killed My Best Friend. And Your Worst Enemy. Same Difference.: Heathers (1988)

The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Meet Dracula, Part II: The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries (1977)

So yesterday I reviewed part one and now we are on to the second part of The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Meet Dracula. Before we start Part II, let’s do a quick recap. So in the ’70s they had the show The Hardy Boys/ Nancy Drew Mysteries. Each week would alternate with an episode featuring The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew. When season two came out someone had the fantastic idea to do a crossover, and they ended up doing three more. These crossovers were my favorite as I ship Nancy Drew and Frank Hardy.

So Frank and Joe’s father is missing. They start searching for him and following his notes, running into Nancy Drew who was supposed to meet Mr. Fenton Hardy (the boys’ father). It turns out that Fenton was on the track of an art thief and had connected it a rock ‘n roll star, Allison Troy, who is playing at a rock festival, the Dracula Festival. Nancy and the Boys argue about who’s investigating, the boys going undercover by joining a band and Nancy and her friend Bess travel out to Transylvania.

Inspector Stavlin, friend of Fenton Hardy, does not like the way everyone is treating Dracula and warns everyone to watch out.

Joe is on stage singing, while Frank is searching the castle and gets trapped in a cell with a person who has two pinpricks on his neck Nancy and Bess just found them. What will happen next? Is Dracula really hiding in the castle or is there a human murderer running about? Who is the art thief? And will they ever find out what happened to Fenton Hardy?

Frank tells them to hurry and get a Doctor, Bess runs while Nancy picks the lock to get him out Frank is extremely impressed.

Oh, wow…

That’s another reason why I ship Nancy and Frank over Ned. Ned in this series was just so narcissistic and always talking down to Nancy. Frank was amazing as he liked Nancy and her skills. They are just so perfect together!

So the man in the cell isn’t dead but has a weak pulse-Frank tells him he met him earlier as he is part of the town’s council and the hotel owner. Nancy spots his neck and sees the bite marks…like a vampire bite.

Meanwhile, Joe continues singing. I think Shaun Cassidy is so adorable, and as much as I like David Cassidy, he’s my favorite of the brothers.

Stavlin comes and sees the bite maks and he gets one of the police members to get an ambulence while other people help carry Berger out.

Nancy: I think it is about time we started working together.

Frank: I think so too.

Nancy and Frank leave the caverns and head back upstairs to the party. Joe is at first upset to see Nancy (he’s still not over her harpooning their waiter) but Frank tells him about their new partnership-all working together. Nancy reveals that she came there specifically to look for them, Frank is pleased (oh Frank, he has a crush on Nancy) and she shares she has some info on their father. She thinks she might have found him.

She started searching not for Hardy, but Fredricks and found him in a monastery. Some Monks found him and tried to find his family, but the only ID he had on was Fredricks.

Found in a monastery? That sounds a lot like Dracula when Jonathan Harker was discovered in a convent, having been found by nuns. I love little touches like that.

The boys are relieved he isn’t dead, but wish he was doing better. Frank leaves to speak to the monk about his father’s care and what should be done next, while Joe stays with dad. Aw, Joe cries, Joe is so cute. Shaun Cassidy is a great actor, you forget that he is acting

The monk tells frank that one day his father did recover consciousness and for a brief moment said something about caverns, but the monk does’t know what that means. He too had a vampire-like bite.

From Horror of Dracula

Nancy says what they are all thinking, Dracula. Frank is amazed she could believe that, but Nancy states she doesn’t really think a vampire has arisen, but that someone wants them to think that.

You know, in the previous post I said that these brothers were the Dean and Sam Winchester, from Supernatural, of the ’70s and now that I think about it-this episode has some similarities to “Monster Movie“.  The brothers investigating a strange occurrence at a a festival happening, the older brother trying to get with the pretty girl, and a “vampire” running amuck…interesting.

Hmm…

The boys return from their visit and drop Nancy off at the hotel, then return to the castle to search the caverns. A bat flies by…Dracula?

Back at the castle the secret passage in the “crypt” moves and someone is stalking the night. It is the person we before…could it be… Dracula?

Frank is set on it being Allison Troy as that is the track his dad was on, but Joe isn’t sure. I mean Allison is cold and a diva, but the vampire dress up and “bite” seems a it farfetched for a rock star? But then again, I already reviewed two movies about Ted Bundy and both clearly showed that you never really know people as well as you think you do.

Hmm…

The boys leave the caverns deciding to sleep on it and resume the investigation in the morning. They just narrowly escape he who stalks the caverns.

The next day the townspeople are worried about Dracula and are hanging up garlic everywhere. The detectives decide to continue searching the next day when Troy is preoccupied with the concert.

Joe takes Allison Troy’s car, but finds nothing. Meanwhile, Nancy and Frank search Troy’s room. Hmm…wonder who picked that split. I’m sure Frank is trying to be like Fred and Daphne Nancy Drew.

Nancy and Fred find a lock-pickers kit under the bed, Frank thinks they are on the right track, but Nancy isn’t so enthused…she’s thinking.

Frank wants to go to Stavlin with the information, but it seems too easy. If he is such a great criminal with these art thefts why would he do something so stupid like leaving the lock-picks under the bed.

Hmm…from The Wolfman

Everyone in town are freaking out as they think Dracula has risen. They think they should stop the concert as it is their fault that Dracula has risen again. Others say they should burn the castle.

mob

Grab your torches and sharpen your pitchforks!

People be crazy, but Stavlin comes and starts yellling Dracula isn’t real and calms the people down and warning them that if they break any laws or abuse a guest they will be arrested.

So was it my imagination or did he previously seem to be saying Dracula is alive? But now he is telling everyone there is no Dracula…hmm. Does he believe or doesn’t he?

Hmmm…

Frank approaches Stavlin to tell them about Troy, but he is busy with the mayor. The mayor invites them to join them and share. He also gives them all steaming cups of cider.

Stavlin talks about the attacks of the last two days of two strong men being highly suspicious. But how did he know about Fenton being bit. When he spoke to the boys before he was clueless as to what had happened and Frank and Joe haven’t had a chance to talk to him yet. Hmm.

Hmm…treasure?

Stavlin warns the mayor that he might be the next victim and Frank questions why. Thanks for asking Frank as I was wondering the same thing. Stavlin says it parallels the Dracula story that has been passed on for generations, while that has nothing to do with the book Dracula, what is he talking about?

Frank brings up his father who has nothing to do with the Dracula legend. So yes, here it sounds as if he believes in Dracula being alive. Hmmm….

Hmm…

Frank and Nancy share their discoveries and what they found in Troy’s room. Nancy also shares that it feels like a frame job. Stavlin isn’t too surprised and brushes them off saying he will look into it.

He warns the mayor that he must guard his life, that the other men survived but the next, the mayor, will die.The mayor laughs him off, but I’d be worried about Stavlin.

SUPER creeped

That night the mayor locks himself in his office while Frank walks Nancy home oooohhhh

Nancy sleeps fitfully, while in his room Frank paces the room and He (the guy from the cavern, possible Dracula) stalks the night.

Someone creeps through the window watching Nancy, someone who looks very Dracula like.

Joe and Bess return, what have they been up to?, while a bat flies in to attack Nancy, a bat or vampire?!! Joe, Frank, and Bess hear her and Frank breaks the door down and picks up Nancy carrying her to safety in the hallway, leaving Joe and Bess fight it.

Nancy is understandably freaked at this vampire bat attacking her and clings to Frank ooooooooooohhh

Frank realizes the room was locked from the inside, so someone hid the bat in the room…or Dracula exists.

From “Monster Movie” from Supernatural

The group are talking in the restaurant and Stavlin overhears them. He questions them but believes Dracula is real. The Mayor’s housekeeper comes to Stavlin for help as she cannot get the master and he wont answer. All the men break the door down and find him…dead! Bite mark on his neck!

Oh, he’s not dead. He’s still alive.

Frank is trying to figure this out but the room is locked from the inside, the window has bars, the fireplace has a high fire…what, how, uh?

Wow!

So while the first episode was good, they also had a lot of setting up to do with the meet cute, them getting to Transylvania, etc. This one is far more thrilling as we either have Dracula arisen from the grave or a crazy person wanting everyone to think he’s Dracula. Either way I am stone cold invested.

The next day Troy is arrested and the concert stopped. All the townspeople cheer and wish they had listened to Stavlin about not having the rock concert in the first place. They ask about evidence and Stavlin shares about the lock-picks and that he found a map in the trunk of his car. Here Joe speaks up as he searched last night, remember and found nothing.

Bess also speaks up that she was watching Troy and his group all night and they never left the castle. Stavlin is upset but as there are all these contradictions he decides to let Troy go.

Stavlin tells the detectives that if it isn’t Dracula attacking or Troy and there was no one else could the mayor have hurt himself?

Hmm…

The mayor is offended that Stavlin could suggest it, but Stavlin ignores him and Stavlin has him arrested. Stavlin explains as a political move, which makes no sense to me. Why would he do that? How does it help him? I’m so confused. These people don’t question Stavlin but ask him to take over until they have an election.

Stalin refuses at first but at their urges acquiesces to do as the council wishes.

So after all that excitement they head back to the hotel. Frank and Nancy are doing a sort of “you hang up first” routine, making it beyond obvious to Bess and Joe that they hav feelings for each other. Joe decides to show up his brother, like always, and makes a move on Bess getting a kiss.

I can’t believe any of these guys are really going to bed. I mean I have read a lot of these books, after that exchange of Stavlin and the townspeople, they should be investigating.

Frank and Joe head back to the castle as Frank doesn’t believe in the explanation given by Stavlin, and it is really thin. How does bringing “Dracula” help his career? He’s been doing horrible ever seen Dracula “arose from the grave”. Frank wants to search the castle and Dracula’s grave.

The boys search the caverns which are spoooky.

Creepy…

Frank takes Joe to Dracula’s “grave” which reveals the secret passage, Frank goes into it, Joe following. Inside it has all the paintings from all the robberies. Joe wants to leave, he’s a bit creeped out, but Frank won’t let them as he wants to jeep searching. He finds the coffin and can’t stop as he has to open it to reveal……………………………………………………………………..

Bones!!!!!!! So yeah bones not a vampire.

Stavlin interupts them dressed in vampire clothing. Yes it was Stavlin who was stealing the art. You see they are forcing him to retire due to his age so he started stealing to create a little nest egg. He always spend all his time in the castle and used it as a special place to reenact his desire to be Dracula.

Yes, he uses the room and castle to pretend to be Dracula. That’s why he didn’t want the rock group there. Someone might go poking around and find his little secrets.

The Hardy Boys figured out how he attacked the mayor. He must have drugged the mayor’s cider, and he knew that the maid would come to him for help. He was the first on the scene and when he checked the mayor and blocked him from view to  “protect” the housekeeper he must have made the wound.

He tried to frame Troy but Joe and Bess foiled it, so he had to blame the mayor.

Stavlin locks the door and they are locked in the castle with a madman, only stopped by Nancy, Fenton, and Bess. Stavlin is surprised and he falls into the trapdoor he set up for the boys and is arrested. He’s no Dracula, if anything he’s crazy old Reinfeld.

Renfield from Dracula (1931)

Stavlin is taken away and says these crazy things like he might escape, Joe sees him pass by a mirror and doesn’t see Stavlin’s reflection.

Could he be Dracula arisen from a the grave, a real vampire, or a trick mirror?

Hmm…

It doesn’t answer that and I like that.

These are always my favorite episodes of the series and so much fun. I highly recommend checking them out.

For more Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries, go to A Haunting We Will Go: The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Mysteries (1977)

For more Nancy Drew, go to Those Men Are Not Going to Stand for Nancy Drew Poking Her Little Nose Into Their Affairs: Nancy Drew, Detective (1938)

For more Dracula, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more Detectives, go to It’s a Weird Case from the Start. A Case With a Hole in the Center: Knives Out (2019)

For more mysteries, go to One Day You’ll See Something You Shouldn’t: Rear Window (1954)

Oh No, It Wasn’t the Airplanes. It Was Beauty Killed the Beast.: King Kong (1933)

Police Lieutenant: Well, Denham, the airplanes got him.

Carl Denham: Oh no, it wasn’t the airplanes. It was beauty killed the beast.

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVEEE King Kong!!!

I grew up watching this film and owned a VHS that had a King Kong on it that growled when you pushed on it.

The film all started with Merian C. Cooper’s idea of a giant ape on top of the world’s tallest building, fighting airplanes. He worked backward from there, to develop the rest of the story.

The name comes from producer, David O. Selznick, who decided King Kong was better than just Kong.

I know a lot of people hate the effects and such-but I don’t care. It was amazing in 1933 and it is amazing now!!

So without further ado-here we go!

So we open our film on 1930s New York City. There is a ship heading out to go on location to film, Carl Denham (Robert Armstrong) is in charge of it. Everyone is talking about it as the ship has three times the crew needed to sail.

Denham has explosives and gas bombs-he doesn’t care about legal issues, morality-he cares about money and his film. Its in his blood.

He needs an actress and no agent will help him hire one-as Denham has a reputation for being recklessness and he’s so private about where they are going. Everyone is afraid of what might happen. Go who knows where, to do who knows what, and stuck on a boat full of men. Yeah, I’d pass too.

I wouldn’t!!

The first mate is John “Jack” Driscoll (Bruce Cabot) and he doesn’t think they should bring a woman on board. They are bad luck. I think Mrs. Croft would not agree.

They can’t see why Denham needs a girl, as none of his other pictures has them. He says that he’s tired of people going on that if it had a love interest it would make twice as much money-so he is giving them what they want. But he need  girl to do it!

“Skipper: What are you doing?

Carl Denham: I’m gonna go out and find a girl for my picture – even if I hafta’ marry one.”

He heads to a woman’s shelter as he needs someone young, hungry, and desperate. But none look right.

He heads to a fruit stand and spies a woman, Ann Darrow (Fay Wray), looking at the fruit, she gets caught by the fruit stand owner for stealing, but Mr. Denham comes to her aid. He takes her to a nearby diner to eat. There Mr. Denham questions her-no job, no family, used to act, etc. He tells her he has a job, but Ann is no fool. She needs more info. She’s not walking into a sex slavery or whatever.

Denham slows down and introduces himself and tells her about his new picture and how he needs an actress ASAP. She agrees as she has heard of him, so knows he’s legit, needs a job-and this provides food, clothes, money, etc!

On the ship Ann and Jack meet. Jack is gruff and his interactions with Ann have always made me laugh. I think it is because he’s trying to be so macho and tough, but just becomes a big teddy bear around Ann.

Ann loves being on the ship and befriends everybody. The one she gets closest to is Jack who’s compliments just sound like facts. He cracks me up. He is trying to be romantic and failing.

Jack says she is trouble, just being around. He’s trying not to like her and keep her away, bit he does. He’s just a marshmallow.

This guy.

Jack doesn’t really like Denham, and hates that he hasn’t told him where they are going. It wouldn’t bother him so much, but he’s worried about Ann. Denham points it out that he likes her, but Jack deies it. Sure…

Carl Denham: [warning Jack about women] Some big, hardboiled egg gets a look at a pretty face and bang, he cracks up and goes sappy!

Which if you are paying close attention-that basically reveals the rest of the film.

So Denham finally reveals to Jack and Captain where he wants to go next. They are confused as there is nothing known out in that direction but ocean-but Denham has a secret island, that he got from a skipper who’s boat was destroyed. The place is called Skull Island. There is a giant wall that was built centuries ago, and no one knows what is on the other side but they police it and make sure it stays strong. That sounds kind of familiar…

Did you ever hear of white walkers Kong? Denham asks. He wants to go and create a picture with this Kong, whatever it is. He doesn’t care about anything or ayone other than money and this picture.

Denham does some screen tests with Ann, with all the sailors watching. Ann practices with the famous scream scene.

Sidenote her dress kinda looks like the one in White Zombie.

She is like a zombie.

Anyways, back to the film-this screaming pierces Jack as he loves Ann, but it also makes him wonder-what is Denham planning on them seeing?

They come into a fog and look for the island, but can hardly see anything…As they get closer they hear drums, but the fog burns off and they see the island.

Carl Denham: [seeing the island for the first time] Well, Skipper, there she is… Skull Mountain, the wall… everything just like on my funny little map.

Denham and the group plan to go ashore. The skipper comes as he knows languages, they have a guy who does the gas bombs (just in case), etc. Jack wants Ann to stay behind until they have assessed the situation, but Denham won’t listen. He wants his camera and cast by his side so that at any moment a picture can be filmed.

They look at the Wall and Denham goes ape over it, wanting to film it immediately. As they go Ann holds Jack’s hand, she’s excited and slightly fearful. But Jack is very afraid, he thinks having Ann come along was an awful idea.

The group stumble on a ceremony. The people are dressed up in ape skins, beating drums, and preparing a girl for something-some special ceremony is going on. The poor girl, she looks so sad and upset, but doing her duty.

Denham films them, and Ann peaks out trying to see what is going on. But they are spotted by the native’s leader. He walks over to them and the Skipper speaks to him in the hopes of keeping any fighting from happening.

The leader asks them to leave and says that the girl is the bride of Kong. One guy is upset-he says the ceremony has been ruined as it was viewed by outsiders. The chieftain asks to purchase Ann because of her yellow hair, and they think she would make a better gift for Kong. He wants to buy her, six of women for her.

They leave as the situation is hot, and say they will be back tomorrow to make friendship.

Anyone!

This want of her blonde hair as they had ever seen one before reminds me of my friend Margery. Margery had beautiful red hair and traveled all over, and people in other countries where red hair was scare were always in awe of it and wanting to touch her curls.

Jack and Ann talk, and he admits that he cares for her. He scared for her and a little of her.

Jack Driscoll: [to Ann] Hey… I guess I love you.

I guess I love you?

He makes me laugh. Jack has zero clues on how to be romantic.

Ann likes him too and they kiss. Jack gets called away by the Skipper, while Ann waits for him. But little does she know the people are intent on gettig her. They want her for their god and sneak aboard the boat and snatch her.

Denham notices torches going throughout the village, and Jack finished his duties and searches for Ann. But Ann is gone.

He goes to her room-no Ann, no one has seen her. But Charlie finds a native bracelet and calls all hands on deck as he has a bad feeling about it.

So the ceremony has begin, but unlike the previous girl-Ann doesn’t want to do the duty so they have to hold her.

They pull the bar from the door back and open to reveal…..a stage, they drag her through the giant walls, looking like little dolls next to them and pull her up the steps, chaining her t it. And seal her on it.

I remember the first time I saw this and I was just on the edge of my seat, what will it be? What is it going to look like??!!!

And then you hear the noises

And then he crashes through and we see his giant scary face!!!!!!!!! Those teeth!!!!! I LOVE it! They did such a great job, and I think it still looks 100% aMAZING!

Kong is just like what is this and grabs her carrying her off.

Meanwhile, Jack leads the band to save her. The crew goes storming in, all willing to save her as all loved her. A chunk stay behind to guard the gate and make sure that it stays open for their return.

The chieftain sees them storm in and sends his own men after. You guys never should have taken their women, it ruined your whole way of life.

As they march Denham still is thinking about the picture-money, filming.

They spot a stegosaurs, but they knock him out, temporarily and shoot him.

It’s funny but like all the creatures are giant on this island, bit the humans are still human-sized. I wonder why?

They make a raft and drift dow the river, I would be very, very, very afraid to be on that river safer seeing a stegosaurus. Who knows what else is in the water.

As they drift along we see some loch ness monster type thing

I still think it looks cool. It looked cool as a kid and still does. And I don’t care about what anyone else says.

NOOOOOO it eats some of the crew!!!

Things just get worse as they are followed by a Brontosaurs. This would be the worst island of all time to be stuck on. Basically everything is giant and trying to kill you!

Everything is trying to kill me!

Meanwhile Kong has Anne and Jack and the rest are not too far behind. The chase is on!

They are crossing a tree branch above a ravine, except Jack who gets on a vine nearby, but Kong picks it up and shakes them off-some falling to their death only two managing to hold on, opps..make that one. Kong then throws the branch and they all are dead.

All but Jack.

Wow!

Kong spots him and tries to grab him from his hiding spot, but Jack stabs his hand. But Jack has more serious problems when a snake like creature also goes to attack him.

Meanwhile, Ann is waiting in the tree that Kong placed her in for safekeeping, when a T-Rex comes out and tries to get her. We then have the epic Kong and T-Rex fight, YEAH!

I like T-Rexs, but..oh no, they bumped into Ann’s branch and it fell. She is almost crushed and finds herself trapped under the log.

Poor Anne, I bet she’s thinking I should have never agreed to this job. I should have just walked away from Denham and never looked back.

Oooh King Kong rips the T-Rex’s jaw apart and then plays with it not going back together. His creepy ape face with all the teeth!

Kong picks her up and caries her away screaming. Jack comes up and sends Denham (they guy has nine lives, I swear) off to get some more smoke bombs to knock Kong out.

Jack is prepared to go alone and fight the giant ape monster.

Carl Denham: [talking to Jack across the ravine] Why, you wouldn’t follow that beast alone?

Jack Driscoll: Someone’s got to stay on his trail while it’s hot!

Ladies, find yourself a Jack. Like this is the kind of bravery and love you want in a person. Can you imagine this-a giant freaking ape that could squash you like a bug-anyone could have been out but he decides to face it on his own because he loves Ann. How sweet.

So cute!!

Denham heads back to shore tells them the story, and Skipper is sure all they are all dead men. Everyone else is after all. Denham plans to leave at dawn with the bombs and go after them.

Meanwhile, Kong goes to his lair where he sets Ann down for a minute and another creature comes after her out o the water.

Man today is not anybody’s day!

We get another fight scene!! Yeah!! Of course after winning Kong must do a victory roar.

So now it is Ann and the monster alone she faints. And Kong picks her up looking and her. He rips her clothes off trying to figure out what they are-the other girl was in a skirt and flowers, the one that was supposed to be the bride.

This scene was one that was removed as it was too “graphic” and then added back in later.

Hmmm?

Jack tries to sneak up on them, but knocks a boulder over.  Real smooth.

Kong looks for him, and as he does Ann inches away and is attacked by a pterodactyl. Geez-it has really not been her day.

While Kong fights it, Jack sneaks in and leads her away on a vine. Kong eats the pterodactyl and Ann is grateful to be away.

See this is what bugged me in the remake, how they tried to make Ann and Kong friends. She doesn’t want to leave the giant ape monster which makes no sense to me. Like I LOVE cats, but being stranded on a desert island with a ginormous one that has bee known to devour the previous women-I don’t think that I would ever want to do that.

And let’s be serious-if I want a giant friendly ape-I’m watching Mighty Joe Young-If I want a killer monster ape, I’m watching King Kong. I don’t watch King Kong to have a girl beast love affair and ice-skating and Jack jealous of a gorilla and all that dumb stuff.

For the thousandth time

Speaking of giant cats, did anybody ever read the picture book Kat Kong as a kid? I used to check that out over and over again.

They all want to leave but Denham of course is all about the money. He wants to take Kong with them.

Carl Denham: Wait a minute, what about Kong?

Jack Driscoll: Well, what about him?

Carl Denham: We can here to get a moving picture, and we’ve found something worth more than all the movies in the world!

Captain Englehorn: [incredulous] What?

Carl Denham: We’ve got those gas bombs. If we can capture him alive…

Jack Driscoll: Why, you’re crazy. Besides that, he’s on a cliff where a whole army couldn’t get at him.

Carl Denham: Yeah, if he stays there…[looks at Ann] but we’ve got something he wants.

Jack Driscoll: [holds Ann] Yeah. Something he won’t get again.

Jack is not interested and wants to get gone. They all hurry when they hear Kong is coming. Seal the doors, run for the ship, the natives try to keep him out too-all joining together but, Kong comes and boy is he mad.

He breaks the doors down (FYI whoever built that wall you din’t build it strong enough). Everyone flees in terror! If I was the chieftain I would fire whoever come up with the idea to get the blonde woman.

RUN, the men try to protect their people and women but Kong is too strong!!!! He eats them and kills them.

Kong eventually makes it to the beaches and they throw the bombs at him trying to knock him out and accomplishing it.

Denham makes a big speech and they take him to New York.

[Kong has been knocked out by gas bombs]

Carl Denham: Why, the whole world will pay to see this.

Captain Englehorn: No chains will ever hold that.

Carl Denham: We’ll give him more than chains. He’s always been king of his world, but we’ll teach him fear. We’re millionaires, boys. I’ll share it with all of you. Why, in a few months, it’ll be up in lights on Broadway: Kong, the Eighth Wonder of the World.

One thing that has always bothered me-and they never explain in the new one either-how did they get that giant creature from the island to New York? Like he is ginormous! He’s bigger than the boat. How did they feed him?

Anyways, I don’t know how, but they do it and bring Kong to New York City.

They all come to the opening night and Ann is excited and Jack is not happy. He doesn’t care for being there and hates the suit. Jack is very humble when Denham tries to paint him as the hero and Ann the star!

The house is packed out and all are eager to see Kong. Denham gives a great speech, but like Ian Malcolm says-chaos you cant control everything. He reveals Kong-now chained to a platform-oohh the irony. Ann and Jack are engaged! Aw! Denham has the press come foward and they take pictures. Bad idea!

All the light bothers Kong  and then Jack holding Ann-it gets to be to much and Kong breaks free.

Everyone goes screaming and running as Kong chases after them, Grabbing people, throwing them while searching for his girl.

Even as a kid I was always conscious of money and always wondered who’s going to pay for all the damage? Denham? Does he get arrested for the carnage and wreckage? Can you imagine if this was made today? Lawsuit after lawsuit would come running in.

Ann is upset and discussing her PTSD over the event, while Jack tries to console her-but too late. Kong has found them. Jack gets knocked unconscious and Kong takes Ann.

Jack wake up and runs off to rescue her again.

Meanwhile the police and fire department gets called in. Can you imagine the luck of being one of the people who pulled that shift this night. Getting a calls about giant apes!

Kong causes destruction and mayhem and gets caught in a train, breaking it and you just gotta love it. He’s destroying everything!

So the story says Merian C. Cooper didn’t like that the film was at thirteen reels, too unlucky! He insisted they add another shot, one he’s been wanting all along that was the train scene.

He heads for the tallest building in the world (at least in 1933) to the Empire State Building.

They don’t know what to do or how to stop him, but Jack comes up with the idea of airplanes, so the military is called in. While everyone is watching the planes. Jack sneaks into the elevator and heads to the roof.

We see Kong at the top with the planes. I LOVE this scene.

The planes shoot him and he falls, down down to his death! Jack makes it to the top and he and Ann are reunited!

Down below Denham makes it to the ape and says the famous line.

Police Lieutenant: Well, Denham, the airplanes got him.

Carl Denham: Oh no, it wasn’t the airplanes. It was beauty killed the beast.

I LOOOOOOOOVVVVEEEEEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!

You know this film made $90,000 its opening weekend, the biggest opening ever at the time. When the film opened in London, 12,000 people had to be turned away.

You know its funny, I planed to review this movie way back when I first started Horrorfest, but I just ran out of days. I had always planed on reviewing it, but never imagined it would take seven ears Oh well!

Oh, well.

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning go to, Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more monster movies, go to Once, There Was Even a Man Who Had Scissors for Hands: Edward Scissorhands (1990)

Once, There Was Even a Man Who Had Scissors for Hands: Edward Scissorhands (1990)

So every year we review a Vincent Price film. Here we go!

Once, there was even a man who had scissors for hands

What?

Yes I said that right, Vincent Price.

Many of you may not know this, but this was Vincent Price’s last film. When I first saw this, I actually knew about Vincent Price than Johnny Depp.

In fact Vincent Price was supposed to have more screentime, but unfortunately was very ill at and they had to cut back on those scenes. Sad for us.

We didn’t get as much

This also fills another yearly notch, a Tim Burton film.

I have always loved Edward Scissorhands

So let’s not wait any longer. On with the review.

So the film starts off with a grandma, Kim Boggs (Winona Ryder) telling her granddaughter a story-of a man with scissors for hands.

Flashback years ago-Peg Boggs is the Avon lady, along with being kindest and sweetest woman ever. She tries to sell in her Suburban neighborhood but none are interested.

She’s finally reached the end of her rope-but then spots the creepy, spooky castle that exists at the end of the block. She decides to go in there and that is when everything changes.

Inside the worn and crumbling mansion-which she enters by herself! Very unsafe-and meets Edward.

Edward was created by the Inventor, but is unfinished-he still has scissors for hands.

Peg feels bad for him and takes him home with her-he meets her husband Bill (Alan Arkin), who is completely checked out and doesn’t see or hear anything, and son Kevin. Kevin is fascinated by Edward and wants to show him off.

That’s awesome

As many times as I have watched this I am just amazed with the character of Peg. She reminds me of the mom in My Boyfriend’s Back, but sweeter, kinder, and not nearly as psychotic. She is always encouraging and helping Edward.

Peg Boggs: Are you alone? Do you live up here all by yourself? What happened to your face? No, I won’t hurt you. But at the very least, let me give you a good astringent. And this will help to prevent infection. What’s your name?

Edward: Edward.

Peg Boggs: Edward… I think you should just come home with me.

And if anyone tries to say anything about him, she will go mama bear on them.

Audience Member #3: But if you had regular hands you’d be like everyone else.

Edward: Yes, I know.

Host-TV: I think he’d like that.

Audience Member #4: Then no one would think you’re special. You wouldn’t be on TV or anything.

Peg Boggs: No matter what, Edward will always be special.

So Pegg let’s Edward stay in her daughter’s room while she is camping with friends on her waterbed. Really Peg, he has scissors for hands!

Anyways, the neighbors are fascinated and want to take a look at him, forcing themselves on them with a BBQ.

Edward starts trying to get used to living with people. If you carefully watch Edward in the beginning he is moving his hands all over-but as he watches the others and as the movie progresses learns to better control his hands and be more humanlike.

And I do have to say I like the costume of Edward. I like Buster Keaton look carrying over from Benny & Joon and his Cure/Tim Burton-inspired hair. It wouldn’t always work, but it does on him.

So Edward is a hit, especially after he starts creating colorful topiaries.

Kim returns home from her trip in the mountains with her boyfriend Jim (Anthony Michael Hall). The first time I saw this-I didn’t recognize him. I don’t what he did but he went from major nerd in the ’80s to playing football jocks in the ’90s. I  always think if him as being one of the lucky three who were able to go from “nerd” to “heartthrob”-him, John Cusack, and Patrick Dempsey.

Kim returns home after “camping” and goes to her room-only to find Edward. Proof why scissors and waterbeds don’t work out.

From lawns Edward goes into animal haircuts.

And here he becomes an even bigger sensation. But not everyone loves him.

Poor Edward-hopefully in love with Kim and he really is. At this time Depp and Ryder starting dating and even got engaged-and you can just see in his eyes how much he cares for her. In fact, re-watching it this time I realize they spend hardly any screentime together, but can carry the romance in their looks, body language, tone, etc.

Here is where we get a slight look into Tim Burton. The eccentric, weird kid in love with the cheerleader but the jock keeping them apart? Hmm…

Anyways, Edward keeps trying. Kevin takes him to school for show-and-tell, he is always there to lend a blade, and then begins haircuts.

Edward Scissorhands in Wonderland

In fact the scene when he first cuts hair is a wink at Sweeney Todd, which Tim Burton and Johnny Depp would make years later.

The sweetest thing is when Edward is going to cut Peg’s hair-he makes it extra special and neat for her-his mom. Aw.

Very cute

With all this Edward goes on TV and the idea of opening his own business is brought up.

Neighbor Joyce is going to help and takes him to the area where they will be having the salon. She then strips and assaults him. Edward flees and Joyce is very upset.

I’m out!

Peg is going to help Edward and takes him to the bank-but here is where I realize I am an adult. I mean I know I am one, after all I’m six and twenty-but here is where I KNOW. My first response was how will he get a loan? He has no social security card, birth certificate, anything. Poor Edward is sad and they are unsure what to do next.

Now let me take a moment here and just go over Vincent Price’s role in the film. Throughout the movie we have flashbacks to when Edward was first created. The Inventor (Vincent Price) has an assembly line making cookies. As he enjoys them he gets the idea to make his son-Edward.

I love these scenes as they are so endearing and said. What would have been if the creator lived. I love Vincent Price’s voice as well. I could just listen to him speak for hours.

One day Kim forgets her key and they are locked out of the house. Edward opens the door by picking the lock and Jim gets the idea to use Edward to rob his house. You see JIm is a Neanderthal that instead of getting a job to get his own car wants his dad to do it. And if dad refuses-well then the only way is to rob his house. What a baby-WAH BOO HOO I can’t get my way let’s make dad pay for it.

They lie to Edward that a guy stole Jim’s stuff and want to get it back. Kim feels bad and wants to stop, but they don’t listen to her. Instead-they go but when the alarm goes off abandon him.

Kim is angry wanting to go back, but they don’t listen to her and she doesn’t do anything. Now I like Kim, but she never tells the truth. It makes me so angry-all this awful things keep happening to Edward afterwards and they could have stopped it if she had just told the truth.

Very disappointed in you Kim.

So Edward is taken to jail and held until Peg and Bill can pick him up. After that he is a pariah. No one wants to be around him, have him cut their lawn, dog, or hair.

Kim gets angry with Jim, but he just taunts her with how she hasn’t said anything. Edward sees this and becomes even more angry as he did it for Kim and she is still with the jerk.

He gets depressed and ruins his creations-he also gets angsty and messes up the walls.

Peg is awesome-she continues to be there for Edward. She has him keep giving her haircuts to make him feel better. Se sweet.

So cute

All comes to a head on Christmas. Edward and Kim have grown closer. He works on an ice sculpture and accidentally nicks Kim. Jim comes and chases Edward off who goes on a rage destroying shrubbery.

Kim is done with Jim and he storms off drinking with his friend.

Kim’s hand is taken care of by her mom and it wasn’t a serious wound just a small one. They worry about Edward and go off to find him leaving Kim to wait in case he comes back or the neighbors come for the party.

Edward returns and they have a good moment, broken when a drunken Jim comes racing down the street and almost hits Kevin. Edward runs and pushes Kevin out of the way before he gets killed. But by doing so nicks Kevin, especially as Kevin doesn’t know what is going on.

Jim comes and tries to attack Edward, who nicks him too. Edward then storms off-followed by Kim. Meanwhile like in every monster movie the neighborhood storms together creating a mob to converge on Edward.

mob

Grab your torches and sharpen your pitchforks!

In the mansion Kim approaches Edward, ecstatic that he is alive, but just like in Beauty and the Beast, Jim the jerk followed them and tries to kill Edward. He was going to shoot him-but Kim intercedes. Edward had not planned on doing anything-but when Jim slaps Kim he becomes angry and stabs Jim-throwing him out the window.

Kim and Edward see the dead body and know the mob won’t stop until Edward is dead. Kim kisses Edward and says good-bye.

Noooo!

Downstairs, the people are calling for Edward’s blood. Kim notices a machine and grabs a scissorhand-using it as proof that Edward is dead. She tells them it is all over.

This scene definitely has a Nightmare on Elm Street feel to it with the scissors-which Johnny Depp is also in.

That ends it and all goes back to how it should be-except the Boggs family. Years pass and they all move on-but Kim always remembers Edward.

And Edward never forgets her. His garden growing and he’s making an ice sculpture of Kim to grace his garden.

Such a great story with a gentle sweet character. I love this film and could just continue to watch it over and over again.

And this little extra for you guys!

To start Horrorfest VII from the beginning, go to It’s the End of the World: The Birds (1963)

For the previous post, go to Do You Ever Feel Like Your Life Has Turned into Something You Never Intended?: Nocturnal Animals (2016)

For more Edward Scissorhands, go to I Did It for You: Edward Scissorhands (1990)

For more Tim Burton, go to He’s Married to a Corpse. He Has A Corpse Bride!: Corpse Bride (2005)

For more Vincent Price, go to They’re Coming for Me Now…And Then They’ll Come for You: House on Haunted Hill (1959)

For more Johnny Depp, go to It was a Horseman, a Dead One. Headless: Sleepy Hollow (1999)

For more Winona Ryder, go to 25 Films of Christmas

For more Anthony Michael Hall, go to Don’t You Forget About Me

For more teen monster films, go to I Died for You! I Came Back from the Dead for You! I Love You!: My Boyfriend’s Back (1993)

We’ve Seen Dracula, the Wolf Man, and Frankenstein’s Monster: Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

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And another thing Mr. Chick Young! The next time I tell you that I saw something when I saw it, you believe me that I saw it!

I had never seen this movie before and decided to rent it after looking over my Wolf Man (1941) review. I thought it was hilarious!

felix_the_cat_laughing

I highly recommend it to anyone.

loveitSupernatural

So this film was done during a time of a series of monster films, along with Abbott and Costello films. I’m not sure who came up with the “meeting” idea, but it was a fantastic one.

abbottcostellofrankenstein

It’s funny, the other day I was watching the Nostalgia Critic‘s review of Freddy Vs. Jason, and he cited that that film created the Versus series we see today. I would have to disagree with him and say this is probably the first “versus” film, with Dracula versus the Wolf Man. It was a great comedy, horror film, parody, a multi-genre crossover.

AMAZING!

AMAZING!

I’m actually not going to do a big review as it is really something you have to watch. The script is hilarious:

Chick Young: People pay McDougal cash to come in here and get scared.

Wilbur Grey: I’m cheatin’ him. I’m gettin’ scared for nothin’.

The sight gags are perfect:

And you have both Bela Lugosi reprising his role as Dracula and Lon Chaney Jr. reprising the Wolf Man.

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The only thing I don’t like is the title. I mean they meet Frankenstein’s monster but he is hardly even in the film. It really should be Abbott and Costello Meet Dracula or Abbott and Costello Meet the Wolf Man as both of those characters play a much larger role.

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So the film starts off with Wilbur Gray (Lou Costello) and Chick Young (Bud Abbott) working as package delivery men. Wilbur is currently dating a beautiful woman, Sondra and has plans the next night to go to a masquerade ball.

Erik: [at the Bal Masque as "The Red Death"] Beneath your dancing feet are the tombs of tortured men! Thus does The Red Death rebuke your merriment!

Too bad they didn’t put the Phantom in here too.

Later that day he gets a call from Lawrence Talbot (Lon Chaney Jr.), AKA the Wolf Man, warning him not to deliver packages to Dr McDougol’s House of Horrors. But the full moon comes out,  turning him into a werewolf and Wilbur doesn’t get the full message.

wolfman

That night Wilbur and Chick are delivering the packages, and it turns out to be Dracula (Bela Lugosi)

Dracula

and Frankenstein’s monster (Glenn Strange).

Frankenstein

They are freed; both taking off as Dracula wants to give the monster a new brain, a dumber one, to control it better. He has enlisted the help of Dr. Sondra Mornay, the same Sondra who is dating Wilbur. Yes, it turns out she is only with him as his brain is the one she wants to use in the operation.

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Meanwhile, Wilbur and Chick have been put in jail as McDougal holds them responsible for the missing exhibits, believing they stole them. They are bailed out by Joan Raymond, private investigator, who doesn’t believe they are responsible. She has also fallen in love with Wilbur.

wouldhavehisbabieslovehim

So now Wilbur has two beautiful girls after him, Frankenstein’s monster, Dracula trying to get his brain, and the Wolf Man trying to get his help/also attack them when Lawrence turns into the beast.

Not good

Not good

It is hilarious fun and there is a great scene at the ends when Dracula and the Wolf Man duke it out.

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And don’t forget to keep your ears peeled for a Vincent Price cameo!

VincentPrice

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To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to I Don’t Want to Be a Vampire. I’m a Day Person: Once Bitten (1985)

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For more on Count Draculago to I Bid You Welcome: Dracula (1931)

For more Wolf Man, go to Beast or Man: The Wolfman (2010)

For more of Frankenstein’s Monster, go to Monster Mash 

For more Bela Lugosi, go to Those Aren’t Men They Are the Living Dead: White Zombie (1932)

For more Lon Chaney Jr., go to Even a Man Pure of Heart: The Wolf Man (1941)

For more Vincent Price, go to No Mere Mortal Can Resist the Evil of the Thriller: Thriller (1983)

For more horror-parody, go to A Modern Mummy: Under Wraps (1997)

For more horror-comedy, go to Someone Very Special: The Addam’s Family Values (1993)