Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

So I’m sure you all have heard that old joke “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Duh!

Duh!

Well have you ever lived it?

Weird

What?

Yeah, that’s what I thought. Well I’ll get to that in a moment. First we need to go over some backstory.

So in my hometown, years ago, some people released a series of chickens into the city. The group grew each year and now they have taken over an area of the town as their domain. They are in fact protected by the city, and it is now illegal to kill them.

Yeah I don't understand it either

Yeah I don’t understand it either

During my freshman year at college, a rooster wandered on to campus and made it it’s home. Everybody freaked out and tons of people signed a petition trying to get the rooster declared the new school mascot. They were amazed at seeing a rooster living on campus. I don’t see the big ta-do. And I told people, it’s nothing new to me to see a chicken or rooster not on a “farm”, that’s pretty normal.

whatsthedeal

Anyways, as I mentioned these chickens not only took over a section of the city, they actually have become very smart. I am not kidding you, they have figured out how to use the crosswalks.

Say What

Yes I am not kidding you!!! One day my sister Jessica and I were driving somewhere and had to stop for a red light, and a chicken was waiting on the corner. As soon as the hand changed to the walk signal, the chicken crossed the street, remaining in the lines. Crazy, huh?

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

Anyways, so the other day I was driving somewhere and coming up a street to make a right turn. As I drive up, this chicken comes walking through. I figure, hey it’ll keep moving along, but that’s not what happened.

Stupid, stupid

Stupid, stupid

The chicken stopped halfway through crossing the street. I guess it became nervous, because it just started pacing back and forth all flustered.

Of course

Of course

I’m like Chicken move!! I mean this guys are protected I can’t run it over. Besides I would feel really bad if I did. So I’m honking my horn and screaming at this Chicken, which only flusters it more and increases the pacing.

nightmare before christmas nothing turn out like it should

This guy on the corner is watching me and the chicken and just laughing his butt off.

felix_the_cat_laughing

Finally the chicken has  figured out what it wants and continues on it’s way allowing me to continue on mine.

StoryOfMyLifeSomeLikeItHotMarilynMonroe

Yep, just another day.

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For more scenes of my everyday life, go to Just A Moment

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What is This Thing?: Phantoms (1998)

Just what is this thing? Chaos, chaos in the flesh.

Phantoms is a 1998 film that is based on the book by Dean Koontz. The story is very creepy, and I was surprised at how well the film was done. I thought it was going to be done in a very stupid, silly way; but it was the essence of creepiness. The only thing I didn’t care for was Liev Schreiber, I felt that he didn’t portray the character very well in the beginning. I wouldn’t have chosen Rose McGowan either, but she did surprisingly well. I loved Ben Affleck as the sexy Sheriff and love interest. I love Ben Affleck though, I mean who doesn’t? They changed the film from the book, as expected, but the changes do not destroy the film, thank goodness. If you’d like to watch the film go here. So the film starts out with Dr. Jennifer Pailey bringing her trouble-making sister Lisa to live with her. They are hoping the change of scenery will help straighten her out as she was involved with gang members in Los Angelas.

I want to go back to LA

When they reach the town, it is empty. Like really empty. There is no one out and about even though they are in a ski town, in the middle of winter with great snow.

Gilmore girls creep

They continue on home. When Jennifer gets there she finds her housekeeper dead. All the life had been sucked out of her and she looks burned.

[Note: Pic from The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms not Phantoms

[Note: Pic from The Giant Behemoth not Phantoms]

OMG

The girls are widely freaked and decided to head to the sheriff’s. But there is one problem, their car won’t work.

Oh no!

Oh no!

The girls hurry on to the sheriff’s office where they find a deputy, burned and blackened. He appears to have shot his gun at something, but they don’t find any traces of it, except shells. Dr. Jennifer grabs a gun and the two run off to the bakery, as it is getting dark and they are really freaked out. They head to the baker’s, running quickly as they hear sounds as if someone is following them. When they get there the oven goes off revealing severed heads!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

The girls are completely grossed out and confused when the Sheriff (who ex-FBI) finds them.

Hello Sexy!

Hello Sexy!

With him are his two deputies Steve Shanning (Nicky Katt) and Stuart Wargle (Liev Shreiber) have come to investigate. They decide the best thing to do is go to the sheriff’s department, and just when they do every single horn, siren, whistle, bell, etc. goes off and then suddenly stops. The only lights left on are down on the Candleglow Inn up the street.

What the

They check it out and see that only four guests are registered. The Sheriff and Stu go upstairs, while the girls stay behind with deputy Steve.

While the sheriff is upstairs he goes into a room and starts looking through an opening in a closet. When he does he sees a vision of a young boy with a gun, which disappers. You see when the Sheriff was FBI he accidentally shot a boy, which made him quit and turn to small town life.

Aw! Look at his face. :(

Aw! Look at his face. 😦

Stu goes in the other room and finds a beautiful, dead woman. He sits next to her and puts his hand up her leg…

ew! Gross Yuck

What a perv!

Certified Creepo Ribbon

Then the Sheriff walks in. He lets it go, even though he is severely grossed out as he knows what Stu was doing, but he needs every man he can get as he has no idea what the situation is.

The Sheriff has Stu watch the hall as he continues checking things out. Stu comes on to Lisa who tells him flat out no, she is not digging that.

I don't think so

Dr. Jennifer joins the Sheriff and they discover that a bathroom locked from the inside (that has no other windows or doors) is empty, with something written on the mirror in lipstick. The writing says “Dr. Timothy Flyte–The Ancient Enemy“.

Phantoms Timothy Flyte Ancient Enemy mirror Note

 

The two have no idea who Dr. Flyte is but intend on finding out.  In another empty room they find a bunch of metal objects like jewelry, buttons, watches, gold teeth, a pacemaker, etc.; concluding that this thing, whatever it is strips a person completely of everything, if it chooses.

EW!

EW!

They go back into the lobby to regroup and figure out their next step. But then they suddenly hear a woman crying out “Help me!” and Deputy Steve rushes out to save her. The Sheriff follows him, but when he gets outside all that is left of Steve is his shoes and a gun.

What the

They head back to the Sheriff’s office and put the dead deputy in a body bag. They then call for help–military, Dr. Flyte, anybody, but the line was so bad they don’t know whether or not it went through.

AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! [Note: from When a Stranger Calls not Phantoms]

Bryce and Stu go through the dept. and pull out all their ammunition getting ready for–whatever the thing is that is trying to attack them. The lights go out and the creature takes on a Alien/The Thing (1982) feel. The next thing you know, Stu is dead.

victim

Too be honest, good riddance. He was a creep and I didn’t like him.

IDon'tTrustHimGreatGatsby

They also put Stu in a body bag and wait out the night.

We then switch to another part of the country- Dr. Flyte. Dr. Flyte (Peter O’Toole) is a tabloid worker in New York City. He used to a professor at Oxford, but they let him go as they felt his writings were “too silly”.

Phantoms Swine Peter O' Toole

 

Two FBI agents ask him to go to the small, winter, town of Snowfield to help solve what the “thing” is.

Back in Snowfield the three survivors are trying to figure out what to do next. Lisa tries to take a nap while the Sheriff tells Dr. Jen about how the monster called up the incident with the young boy. The two are interrupted when Lisa asks the Sherif to walk with her to the bathroom. He checks it and finds it clear. Lisa begins to smoke when she hears a squealing noise coming out of the drain.

Psycho-Shower

She checks out the bathroom stalls (much like Scream) and finds the Deputy Stu there!

im-back

 

Scream-Casey-Becker-drew-barrymore-31896958-2560-1088

In the book the “Phantom thing” was more like the Blob from The Blob (1958); although it could take on the shape of other things, or create small phantom pieces of itself. In the film, however, the “Phantom” embodies the form of Stu, which is understandable from a filmmaker point of view. It doesn’t copying The Blob at all, as I mentioned earlier copying The Thing. Just like The Thing, the “phantom” takes on the appearance of something. This wasn’t a horrible decision as I bet it was easier to film. They also did a lot of blackout or limited lighting when the creature was in its true form, which allowed it to remain creepy as your imagination creates it. The director of It (1990)  should have used the same technique, it would have been a better film.

I didn’t really care for Liev Schreiber, and thought he could have been much creepier. Instead he just comes off as a pervert. This film has actually ruined him for me in all other films. When I watch Kate & LeopoldScream, Scream 2, Scream 3, Lee Daniel’s the Butler, or X-Men Origins: Wolverine; I keep expecting him to do something perverted to all the women.

Yes I am

Yes I am

Anyways, back to the story. So the Sheriff goes into the bathroom and can’t find anything. They go down to check the body bags, but both are empty.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile Dr. Flyte is on route to Snowfield with military General Leland Copperfield, some mobile labs, an armored strike van, etc–all ready to take on whatever the “thing” is. They ask Dr. Flyte about “the Ancient Enemy”. Dr. Flyte explains that there were creatures, he calls “Ancient Enemy” who are amoeboid shapeshifters. This Ancient Enemy rarely feeds, but when it does, the effects are devastating and it was theorized that the Enemy either caused or aided in the extinction of the dinosaurs, the destruction of the Mayan civilizationRoanoke disappearance, the missing army of Nanking, China in 1939, etc. And the town appears to have been built on the home of one of these “Ancient Enemies”.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

The group arrives to Snowfield and the three survivors come to meet the army. The next thing you know, “the thing” has taken out almost the whole team using its shape-shifting qualities and the pipes/sewers. Now these scenes are pretty intense. I was watching them and screaming and my roommates were all, are you ok? I highly recommend watching this film.

General Copperfield is last of the military to be killed; as a pair of oily black tentacles seeps up through the pavement, penetrates his hazmat suit, and smothers him.

[Note: From The Mist]

[Note: From The Mist]

This leaves Dr. Flyte, Sheriff Bryce, Jenny, and Lisa as the remaining survivors..

He’s dead but the “Phantom” uses his body as a mouthpiece and begins speaking to the crowd.

 “My Flesh. Study it. Write the gospel. But do not try to leave. Witnesses to the Miracle.”

Phantoms

The body then falls to the ground and an oily black substance comes out along with a gecko, of which the group is supposed to get a sample of. Dr. Flyte begins to analyze the sample, coming to the conclusion it has lived in the depths of the earth for eons, growing to immense size, and absorbing knowledge from its prey. It can separate off parts of Itself to send as drones, warriors, phantoms, etc.–having them assume the shapes of anything or anyone It has absorbed; even of people or monsters from memories and dreams.With these, It has manipulated Bryce, Jenny, and Lisa into bringing Dr. Flyte here, to be Its prophet, and to write Its gospel. For It has begun to think of Itself as God–or the Devil. Indestructible. All-Powerful. Immortal. Unstoppable.

This is bad. Very bad.

This is bad. Very bad.

Dr. Flyte’s analysis reveals that It is similar to oil and if they are able to make the same kind of bacteria that eats away at oil spills, they may just have a chance at stopping it. They create cultures and prepare for the final battle.

Dr. Flyte goes out and calls to the creature.

Fantomy_Phantoms_1998_1266246010-25163.jpg

He tells It that he needs to see all of it in order to write Its “gospel”. He says that the others are creating a weapon against It, that they don’t believe in It like he does. It appears first as a single person, but then becomes all 400 residents of the town, merging and melding into one swirling mass, which resolves Itself into an immense, hideous, upright millipede.

The Sheriff, Jenny and Lisa run and fire the guns loaded with the bacteria culture  into It. This causes It to scream.  Jenny and Lisa run for shelter into the nearby deputy’s office, to reload their guns but are pursued by a drone of Deputy Stu.

Deputy Wargle: Oh, you've got some guns, ladies, you wouldn't shoot an unarmed man, would you? [both women cock shotguns and point them at him] Deputy Wargle: That's a dumb question.

Deputy Wargle: Oh, you’ve got some guns, ladies, you wouldn’t shoot an unarmed man, would you? [both women cock shotguns and point them at him] That’s a dumb question.

They empty their shotguns into him, knocking him down, and blowing away huge chunks of his legs and arms. Tentacles shoot out of his arm and leg stumps. The girls run away and and he follows, but is killed by Dr. Jen as she shoots him with the last of the culture.

The bigger entity is falling apart and the Sheriff follows the last of It down into the sewer, finding him face to face with the boy that he killed. He hesitates, and while he does so, a tentacle shoots out of the boy’s mouth, and knocks him down. His gun with the culture is stolen by It. It pulls the vials out and starts taunting the Sheriff. In response to It’s mockings the Sheriff pulls out his gun and shoots the vials, causing the bacteria to spread all over.

Hello Sexy!

With one final ear-shattering scream It is gone, and Bryce makes his way back to the others. As a helicopter arrives to rescue them, Dr. Flyte announces to the others that the Entity has won after all: It wanted him to tell the world, and that’s just what he’s going to do. Everything seems to end well, or well enough. Dr. Flyte has his story and will win back his prestige; Sheriff Bryce  is no longer traumatized about killing the boy; Dr. Jen and Sheriff Bryce have found each other; and Lisa and Dr. Jen have bonded. Sounds as perfect an ending you can get for a horror film.

TheEnd_Title_2

Uh, uh uh. Not quite yet!

We switch to a scene in a bar where Dr. Flyte is in TV talking about It and how it may still be out there waiting. One of the guys in the bar turns to his companion and says its a lot of hooey. A strange laugh is heard and at the end of the bar is Deputy Stu Wrangle, showing that It is still alive.

dun-dun-duuuun

So it really was a good film, and I’m telling you the scenes with the creature are super creepy!!! You’ll love them if you love scary movies!

phantoms-

So unlike the other facebook cover pages I have made (and you should have guessed by now that practically every post has one) I made two for this one as the first one wasn’t working out right. Here’s the second one for those of you interested.

1998_phantoms-

Comment below which you think is better!

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

To go to the previous post, go to Unleash the Savage Instincts That Lie Hidden Within

halloween banner

For more monster movies, go to Let Them Fight

For more films based on books, go tA Bit Pottery About Jane Austen

For more on Rose McGowan, go to What’s Your Favorite Scary Movie?

For more on Ben Affleck, go to Pot o’ Gold

Over You

don't care

 

So here we are, another step on the “Getting Over a Heartbreak Series”. With:

Daughtry+-+Over+You+-+5%22+CD+SINGLE-412225

20) Over You by Daughtry

Daughtry is named after the lead singer, Chris Daughtry, one of the winners of American Idol (one of the few people who have gone on to do something.) In 2006, he and Brian Howe, music producer, wrote this song Over You. The whole concept of the song is that someone has been dumped and they are broken and feel that they will never love again.

neverfeelagain

But then, after you spend some time grieving that relationship you get over the person and move on.

“You’re with somebody for a really long time, and you pretty much think that this is the person you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with, and then they drop the ball on you. Then you think it’s over, your life is done, and then somebody better walks in.” -Chris Daughtry

foreverthesickestkidslifegoeson

 

So the music video is about a girl who struggles with alcoholism and ends up causing the death of her boyfriend. Afterwards, she goes to Alcohol Anonymous and gets over her addiction. I actually didn’t really like the music video, I thought it didn’t really evoke the song. But that’s just my personal opinion of course.

I really like this song after Move Along as it states how hard it is to move on. Up and Up and Red Rubber Ball are still moving on completely being 100% over that person, but aren’t quite there yet. Over You, however, is. It’s done and the person is over you.

Now that it’s all said and done,
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

DaughtryOverYOu

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I’m slowly getting closure.
I guess it’s really over.
I’m finally getting better.
And now I’m picking up the pieces.
I’m spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through,
I got over you.

DaughtryOverYOu

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I’m slowly getting closure.
I guess it’s really over.
I’m finally getting better.
And now I’m picking up the pieces.
I’m spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through,
I got over you.

DaughtryOverYOu

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I’m slowly getting closure.
I guess it’s really over.
I’m finally getting better.
And now I’m picking up the pieces.
I’m spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I’m putting my heart back together,
‘Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through,
I got over you.

DaughtryOverYOu

After all:

wrongteachyaright

Eventually you’ll realize:

I don't know you

And that you’re through:

I'm through

And Over YOu

Over You

musicnotes

To start the “Getting Over a Heartbreak Series” from the beginning, go to If It Means A Lot to You

To go to the previous post, go to Red Rubber Ball

musicnotes

For more of my favorite songs, go to Na-Na-Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)

For my favorite quotes, go to Up and Up

For more on American Idol winners, go to Since U Been Gone

For more on Forever the Sickest Kids You Know, go to Chin Up Kid

For more on Margaret Mitchell, go to Move Along

When the Itsy-Bitsy Spider is No Longer Itsy-Bitsy: Arachnophobia (1990)

When the itsy-bitsy spider is no longer itsy-bitsy 

I used to watch this movie all the time as a kid; I remember there being only a few scenes freaking me out. My older sister is arachnophobic, and she would always FREAK-OUT when she watched it. Like a mega, huge, freakout. But I did not remember it being too terrifying.

I rewatched the film and this movie is truly terrortastic!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was so freaky the way the had the spiders; because they actually described how they really act. Just like in Jaws and Them! when they add in all the scientific facts, you learn how freaky things can be.

The film is about a doctor moving his family from San Francisco to a small town to be in a safer area. He’s supposed to be taking over the previous country doctor’s practice, but the doctor doesn’t want to give it up.

No thank you

That’s not the only problem he’s facing; his house has rotted wood, no one trusts him in the town, he only has one patient, and the barn on his property has spiders.

What else could go wrong?

What else could go wrong?

Dr. Ross Jennings hates spiders. He has arachnophobia.

arachnophobia can't look

The other doctor is spreading lies about him. And then his only patient winds up dead. Pretty soon other people who were perfectly healthy wind up dead.

Sound suspicious

Sound suspicious

A young photographer who died in South America and body was shipped back to his hometown, is realized to be the  source of the problem. He carried a spider that is now breeding and sending his young out to attack other. He is the general and has a large supply of troops.

When the spiders attack, it is really, really, creepy. They just come out of everywhere.

What does the evil general look like? Where is his lair? Can they destroy him?

If you want to be scared you should definitely watch this film and find out!

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Just a side note here, I have always wondered why they don’t make a film connecting Vampires and spiders. I mean the two are so similar

1) A Vampire is able to trick people by zombifying their mind. They put others in a trance and controlling their minds

               A) Spiders paralyze their victims, being able to control them

2) Vampires suck the blood of their victims, usually when they are still alive.

               B) Spiders suck the blood out of the insects and creatures that enter their web while they are still alive.

3) Vampires only come out at night, they can’t live in the daylight. They hate light.

               C) Spiders don’t like the daylight either. They like to hide away in dark areas.

4) Vampires put their coffin and home base somewhere hidden away so that people won’t find it,

               D) Spiders may have a web out in the open to catch things, but they like to live in tucked away areas   where people can’t find them.

5) Vampires scare people and can look gross or cool.

                E) Spiders scare people. More people are scared of spiders than they are scared of dying. Spiders can also look gross or cool

I mean these two are a match made in heaven. They should have Vampires control the spiders or turn into them.

That’s the 30th post! So sad it almost over. To go to the previous post click here. One last post to come. 1 Day ‘Till Halloween!

Here’s a cover page/poster I made for my facebook page as part of my countdown to Halloween.

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To start Horrorfest at the beginning, go to I Don’t Belong in the World

For the previous post, go to Whatever You Do Don’t Fall Asleep

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For more on monster movies, go to They’re Coming to Get You Barbara

For more on vampires, go to A Halloween Hello From the Austen Men

For more on zombifying the mind, go to When Potatoes Go Bad

I Can Be Your Best Friend Or Your Worst Enemy: The Cable Guy (1996)

You know what the trouble about real life is? There’s no danger music

This movie is really creepy! Jim Carrey is awesome as a creepy freak. If you have ever seen Batman Forever, you would know that, but this is the clincher.

Certified Creepo Ribbon

The saddest thing about this is though, when I watch this film I see myself. The way he talks about films and TV; I just know that if I was a psychopath I would be Chip Douglas. Or Billy in Scream.

screamBilly

So the film is directed by Ben Stiller and also stars Matthew Broderick. [You know with all those comedians it just has to be good]. And this is considered a black comedy, like Heathers, by most, but to me it definitely is a Horror-Comedy, or just down right horror film with comedic moments.

So Matthew Broderick’s character, Steve, had proposed to is girlfriend, but she turned him down. Steve then moves into his own apartment. He is depressed and about to get cable when his friend, played by Jack Black, tells him to bribe the cable guy and have him hook him up with all the premium channels.

Steve does, but that is his big mistake. Chip hooks him up, making him one of his VIP customers.

Ouch

Ouch

All of a sudden Chip starts running into Steve, ALL the TIME. And it isn’t pretty.

Chip starts calling him all the time, sabotaging his cable when he doesn’t get a reply.

“Chip Douglas: Hey Steve I’m on a pay phone, so if you’re there pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, well OK, call me back.”

Steve wants to have his cable fixed, so he makes up with Chip.

Funny-how-you call when need something cable guy

Chip in turn takes him to Medieval World, we see the psychotic and neurotic side coming out even more.

Things start getting worse. Chip wants to help Steve get back with Robin and ends up beating up her date, Owen Wilson.

He gives Robin free cable “on Steve”, and Robin gets back with Steve.

Steve doesn’t want to be friends with Chip anymore, but Chip doesn’t like that answer.

Chip ends up kidnapping Robin, and he and Steve have an epic fight at the end where Chip says my favorite line:

Chip Douglas: You know what the trouble about real life is? There’s no danger music”

This something I agree with as I think that life would be so much better if it did. Imagine if the Jaws theme song played when bad stuff was going to happen. Or a love song played when you met the perfect person for you.

thememusic

You should check this out, although just so you know I saw this film on TV so I’m not quite sure how graphic it is.

That’s today’s post, more to come! 9 Days ‘Till Halloween!

Here’s a little cover photo I made for my facebook page.

8carey

halloween banner

To start Horrorfest from the beginning, go to I Don’t Belong in the World

For the previous post, go to You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Potato

halloween banner

For more Horror-Comedy, go to Someone Very Special

For more on psychopaths, go to It’s Alive, It’s ALIVE!

For more on obsessed individuals, go to I Saw Goody Osburn With the Devil

For more in stalkers, go to The Only Thing That Matters is the Ending