Paris Street; Rainy Day

So this painting was completed in 1877, 59 years after the last Austen novels were published. It has nothing to do with them or Regency times. And the capper, it is set in Paris!

What’s that have to do with anything?

So even though it has nothing to do with any of that, I felt like sharing it because whenever I look at it it always makes me think of Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth, even though they didn’t have any boulevards and probably wouldn’t sped their weekend strolling along that way but would be in a carriage or be walking in the roads/lanes outside.

It also makes me think of Anne and when she and Captain Wentworth walk together.

This painting was done by Gustave Caillebotte. It is an Impressionist painting, a scene of modern everyday life. It’s not as fluid or fast stroked as the others, being more “realistic” in the brushstrokes.

In the painting we see the modern day of the city, the new boulevards, buildings, paved cobblestones, etc.

Most people would go on these new boulevards for walks, to relax, see and be seen by society-rich and middle class alike.

So what do you all think? Can you see it too, or do you think I’m just stretching things and including a picture I love?

For more art, go to He Was Taken Up Before Their Very Eyes

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I’ll Be Watching You: Austentatious (2015)

So this title of course references The Police song, even though it has nothing to do with the episodes plot.

Sorry, anytime I think of Sting and The Police I think of that scene from Footloose. But yes, the song:

I’d rather not be watching this. I have already watched two episodes and have not been impressed. I can see why it was canceled after one season.

Ouch

I know harsh, but I speak the truth. Basically, the story is that Marianne and Elinor Dashwood live together and are friends with Elizabeth Bennet, Emma Woodhouse, and Grant/George Knightley. All live in modern times and are an accountant, jobless, real estate agent, divorce lawyer (!!! I know Emma, really?), and I don’t know what “Grant” does.

So we start off this episode with Marianne trying to make eggs and falls of course because she is a dumb blonde. Why do they make her that way?

Elizabeth is over and complains about the awful Darcy, who she has been emailing and she can’t stand him.

I am with her, they make him too jerky-seriously I hate him.

I know, I know

This series killed me okay. It made me utter what never should be uttered and then I died. It is a ghost of my former self that is writing this.

An angry ghost

And I’m sure if Jane was around, she sure wouldn’t appreciate what you writers did!

Elizabeth gets a call about a house and it is Collins looking for a realtor. Remember in the last episode he had his date where he tried to pump Elinor.

See Hook agrees with me.

Elinor, the accountant, has to deal with a tough client, who’s angry that she has to pay so much. I actually like this part of the episode because that’s what I have to deal with sometimes at work. It feels very real and it isn’t silly or stupid like a lot of other parts of these shows.

What I wish I could say to some people.

Poor Elinor, that sucks.

Yes, Elinor I know exactly how you feel.

She’s complaining to Knightley, I find that interesting. I like that he has taken that friendship role with all the girls. Plus in Sense and Sensibility, Elinor and Colonel Brandon talk quite a bit (as everyone feels the need to confide in her) so it kind of meshes that with this. Good job TV show, there are two things you are doing right.

But will it last?

For the thousandth time

Elinor has a promotion, woohoo!

Meanwhile, Marianne is shopping online and Emma hires her as the receptionist at her firm. Marianne is thrilled to be around hot lawyers, but down about that she has to be there at 8.

So Elinor’s promotion, she doesn’t get much time to settle in. Not only does she have to start her new job that afternoon, the IRS is coming and she has to deal with them. I know the show is trying to add drama, but I really don’t think that is how it works. I don’t think they would just “throw you in”. And certainly not throw you to the IRS, I mean I think she could defintely complain about that to HR.

An IRS agent is coming and all I can think of it it kinda makes me think of Parks and Rec when Ben comes and Leslie’s all mad about it and then they fall for each other-I just have a feeling Edward Ferrars is to be the IRS agent.

But seriously, you have a giant IRS dilemmea with your firm and you are going to promote someone from lower to take care of it. I mean I get they are probably trying to set up a fall guy, but wouldn’t you want someone who knows to take care of it and make sure all is good?

Woohoo, gold star theIRS agent is Edward Ferrars-did I call it or what?

Edward is like really cool and collected…I never pictured him that way since he was so controlled by his mama.

Majorly

Anyways, the two hit it off and he acts really sweet and gets command of the situation and calm a freaking, babbling Elinor down.

Interesting, a very different portrayal…

Hmmm…I don’t know of I like it.

All the girls meet up and Emma complains about Darcy, And oh my gosh he is so awful. No wonder this TV show was canceled. Like can we just sock him in the face. Please leave.

I know, I know-I said the dreaded words again-but I’m already dead inside from watching this.

Marianne offers to get revenge by mixing up his messages, but then she will get fired, so I’m not sure that is a good revenge idea.

So not fun…

So Elinor and Edward are eating breakfast and hanging out-telling stories and it is pretty cute. I like their interactions.

Good job!

Elizabeth meets with Collins to discuss “houses” but its a total date. Like seriously Lizzie, he has you meet at a restaurant for DINNER!!!

Liz is all business and Collin is all let me try and get info because I want to date you. The vibe is as strong as a 7th grader spraying himself with AXE for the first time-super ob.

Emma is working and Darcy is throwing a full on B.F.

Ugh I hate him. Like I want to STOP WATCHING. If I could I would throw my fist into the TV and punch him in the face. UUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

I hate you, I hate this series, I hate the writers…

Back to Liz and Collins, nothing is getting done and Collins is all yeah she’s into me.

Uh no.

Emma and Darcy fight some more-ugh

Marianne is too dumb to know the difference between a fax machine and a copy machine. Although, I have to admit that happens a lot at the library.

So Liz goes to Elinor’s home and she’s all “glad you are home” So Liz lives with her? I thought in the first episode Elinor was all “it’s my apartment Marianne” and going on and on and on about how it was her home and she wasn’t sure she wants to share with her and she has everything just how she likes it, blah blah blah. But if Liz lives there too, shouldn’t she have a say in her home? And shouldn’t she have spoken to her about Marianne living there? This makes no sense within the context of the first episode, but I guess it explains why all the girls are there all the time. I thought they were just limited on sets, I mean Collin takes Liz out to the same place he took Elinor. Which does work for his character.

Liz complains-and Elinor knows why he is flirting-but doesn’t tell her. Bad friend.

See Hook agrees with me.

Finally she spills and Liz is so angry- and she’s right, she been wasting her time getting her chained yanked while he is just goofing around pretending to buy. I’d be so angry.

Forget you!

Marianne is on the hate Darcy train as well after dealing with him.

You jerk!

Marinne tears a message for him, hmm…

Darcy is all blah, blah Emma I’m an angry stupid prick and I want you to do all this work even though I’ve complained that this is my area of expertise and I don’y want you touching it. I can’t find a file and its all your fault ad I hate how they make him.

I hate this

Do I have to finish this series, because I don’t want to. Why did they make Darcy so awful, he was not that awful in he book.

Ugh!

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Or TV show in this case.

Emma is angry and justifiably. She should report him to HR. He should not treat her that way.

Liz is walking and Collin surprises her. They meet to discuss her dropping him. And he’s infuriating . Liz is pretty nice, I think I would have been more upset.

Marianne and Emma are walking and eating. Marianne left Darcy fake messages to the movie theater and weather station. She tells him, sorry the numbers came in too fast, maybe try a few combinations. It’s pretty funny, but Emma warns her he could her fired for it.

Marianne does’t care as it is only a temp job. Marianne shares some backstory on her family, and the writer’s got it right, thank goodness. When their dad died, Elinor took over taking care of everything, and making sure things were done-causing her to quickly grow up and adopt the “sensible persona”. And how her mom just let Marianne be herself, she’s always been the one taken care of versus taking care of others like Elinor.

Edward and Elinor grow closer together, and they are very cute. I like it! More Edward please and less Darcy.

I think a thousand fangirls died over that statement.

Darcy starts acting like a human being and actually tells a not really apology which makes me still want to punch him.

WHAT!!!!

They have a loooooooooooooong way to go to fix him.

I am NOT happy!

Collins stops by Elinor to see Liz. He wants her to show him a house as he has settled on an idea of what he wants. Liz gets mad an tells him he needs boundaries. True dat. Good job Liz-stick to your guns.

Collin leaves and calls her on the phone to set an appointment.

Ugh! This dude!

For more Austentatious, go to Big Girls Don’t Cry: Austentatious (2015)

For more Jane Austen film retellings, go to Mrs. Darcy Wants to Know the Truth!: Death Comes to Pemberley, Episode Three (2013)

For more Sense & Sensibility, go to The Smart One and the Pretty One

For more Pride & Prejudice, go to I Met Mr Darcy

For more Emma, go to Austen Avengers Assemble!

I Met Mr Darcy

So I met Mr. Darcy

Huh?

I’m not kidding

I’m 100% serious…not a cosplayer or cardboard cutout or twitter handler whatever else you are thinking. I mean An honest to God flesh and blood Mr. Darcy.

Yes.

YES.

I am 100% telling the truth!

So two years ago I wrote a post on how I met a Mrs. Darcy at work and was wondering what her husband’s name was, or if she had sons if she named them William or Fitzwilliam.

Hmmm…

So the other day, she comes back into the library with her husband Mr. Darcy.

I know, I fangirled just a bit (inside of course) having met a “real” Mr. Darcy.

Wow

Of course he wasn’t Laurence Olivier:

Or Colin Firth:

Hmm…

He was a grumpy, 80-year old man. Not Austen’s Darcy-although he had the grumpiness down:

But whatever-

I can still say that I have actually met “Mr. Darcy”, so yeah-I feel pretty cool about that.

So cool!

For more Mr. Darcy, go to Jane Austen Chinese Zodiac

For more Pride and Prejudice, go to Big Girls Don’t Cry: Austentatious (2015)

Desire & Decorum: Chapter 8, Ill Repute

In the last episode I was invited to the opera by the Duke, ugh, and was able to get a preview with help from the Prince. That opera house was where my late mother used to perform. I also got a letter from my father warning me about the countess trying to slander me and that I need to do some husband hunting.

So you were just reading your father’s letter:

Keeping an eye on you!

So I have two goals: one stop all rumors that the Countess is spreading, and two-find me a man. I write back to let me father know that I don’t have anything concrete-no formal proposal or possible engagement.

After finishing my letter, I hurry to Mr. Woods so that he can mail it out before Countess, Miss Sutton, or my step-brother tries to steal it.

I got this!

Mr. Woods and Briar are planning on going off to drop letters off. Briar is such a little flirt with Mr. Woods and with Mr. Marcastle, she’s going to get in some serious trouble. And, as my dearest friend and the one I was raised with, IF she gets a bad reputation, than so will I. I’ve got to keep my eyes on her.

They ask me to come with them. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to spend my money on that, BUT, if I let her go off-she might do something. Plus, I might run into Mr. Sinclaire. So after some hemming and hawing, I decided to go with them.

Remember how in another chapter I bought a horse?

Since I have her, Fancy is what I named her, I get to ride her around London.

ME!!!

The first person I run into is Mr. Sinclaire.

Hello there!

We give him the letter, and then have to go on our way.

That’s it? That’s all I get?!!

You better have something better for me!! I’m going to be mad if I wasted 19 diamonds!

We get a little back story on Mr. Woods, how he grew up in London and went out to the country-hoping one day to settle down, marry, bring his parents out there.

Briar says how love is the most important thing, that it would be okay to “be as poor as a church mouse” as long as she is with the man she loves. Then why are you messing around with Mr. Marcastle? Hmmm…? Stay with Mr. Woods and leave Marcastle ALONE!

Seriously

We then visit with Mr. Chambers, who’s pants are undone as he was getting it on with another guy. We give him his letter and move on.

That’s it!!!!!????

To be honest, this is soooooooooooooooooo boring! I WOULD NOT buy this at all if I was you!

Just skip that “adventure”.

And I know that this is present thinking on the past to include a gay character and have nobody care-but I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the widespread view. I mean in Regency times, sodomy was illegal-and faced severe punishment. I mean it was there, it did happen, look at Oscar Wilde. Anyways…

Moving on…

Later at home, Miss Parsons pay me a visit and brings a little puppy pug. Her sister’s dog had puppies, and offers me one-but I don’t have enough diamonds to purchase one. I don’t really want one as all I can think of is in Mansfield Park where the Mrs. Bertram has a pug.

“She was a woman who spent her days in sitting, nicely dressed, on a sofa, doing some long piece of needlework, of little use and no beauty, thinking more of her pug than her children…” –Mansfield Park by Jane Austen

Afterwards, Miss Parsons and I head over to the opera house in Prince Hamid’s luxurious carriage. We are discussing things, and Prince Hamid tells me how he has heard awful things about me…but he still likes me:

Of course I am, because:

So we get to the Opera where the Duke is trying to get all over me-

I’m not interested!

The Viscount Westonly is trying to get with Miss Parsons, and I’m trying to help her avoid him. Her family is trying to marry her off to anyone with money, they don’t care that he is a seven wife widower. Hmm…did they die of natural causes or…!

Murdered!!!!!

Just kidding, it was natural causes…I think.

Hmmm…

At the Opera, Mr. Chambers also joins us and, ugh, Miss Holloway.

Miss Parsons mentions that she hasn’t seen Mr. Sinclaire at the opera and the Duke gives a commit that Mr. Sinclaire visits other costumed ladies-ladies of the night!

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t believe this!

Could Mr. Sinclaire be a skeez? I know the Duke is one. The whole performance he keeps trying to touch me and comments about how he wants to see me-see me naked is more like it-ugh.

After the opera, instead of having my ride with the Prince and Miss Parsons, the Duke’s sent them all away.

Should I stay in the carriage and risk being assaulted by him?

There aren’t a lot of choices for women in the 1800s.

I spot Mr. Sinclaire and follow him. He is on his way to do something, and invites me along. I know it isn’t proper to go off with him, but what other choices do I really have? At least I know he will keep his hands to himself.

We go off as Mr. Sinclaire is giving food and clothing to people who live in the poorer areas. He is amazed that I would go with him, but first-he hasn’t been a woman trying to fight off the Duke, and second-he’s forgotten how I grew up. A little dirt won’t bother me, and I remember what it was like to have little.

Mr. Sinclaire is a very charitable and kind person, he thinks that no matter where or what station you are born, you should be treated right. So then why did he act like a jerk the first time I met him? He almost ran me down and then:

Right when I’m thinking that, he apologizes for any way he treated me that wasn’t right. Did he just read my mind?

I don’t apologize for the way I thought about him:

We walk along together, and then Mr. Sinclaire shares his feelings with me, but we get interrupted by rain! Romance always blooms more in rain!

After he holds me close, he calls a carriage and takes me home. It turned out to be a nice night…

That is until I get home and Grandma is there!

That is not good,

She’s heard the rumors that have been spreading about my “reputation” and has set out to control my London season.

She wants me with the Duke and will do whatever she can to catch him. I want nothing to do with that guy.

I don’t want to do this.

So with Grandma coming, how will it go?

Keep reading to find out! Or play the game yourself!

For more Desire & Decorum, go to Desire & Decorum: Chapter 7, Opera St. James

For more choices, go to Desire & Decorum: Chapter 6, An Intimate Affair

For more on the Opera, go to Le Fantôme de l’Opéra

We Are Family: Austentatious (2015)

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if all the Austen characters were friends and lived in the same town. Hmm, have I asked this before? Oh yeah…

That was a good book, unfortunately this isn’t a review of the next novel in that series but of the TV show:

Yes, all the Austen characters live in the same city, the city of…hmm they never say where this takes place. They all have an American accent except for Emma who is British, sometimes.

Ugh!

I’ve noticed in other episodes it just seems to fade away. She must not be faking it because no one else has one so why would they make her have one? But I cant explain why that happens with her. Anyways

I don’t know

So it says that it is the Austen characters, but only seems to have Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth Bennet, Elinor Dashwood, Marianne Dashwood, Emma Woodhouse, Mr. Knightley, and Colonel Brandon. Yes there is no one from Northanger Abbey, Mansfield Park, or Persuasion.

Forget you!

I mean really? I wish someone would do “all” the characters and actually have “all” the characters.

So the story takes place in modern times. We start of with Elinor Dashwood (Kristen Marie Jensen) who is an IRS and is complaining to her friends Lizzie Bennet (Elise Groves), real estate agent, and Emma Woodhouse (Shona Kay), divorce attorney. Oops, and friend Grant Knightley (supposed to be GEORGE why change to Grant? I mean George is a common name), played by Brad Johnson, and works with Emma? I’m not quite clear.

HOld on…okay Elinor as a tax accountant, okay I can buy that as she is well organized and great with finances.

Lizzie as a real estate agent, I have a hard time seeing. I could see her more as a writer or Park Ranger or manager at something.

Meh.

BUT Emma as a divorce attorney?

That’s just crazy. First of all she hates reading-no way. Second, I don not believe someone who tries to match people up all the time could spend days working with separating couples. That makes no sense to me.

Did you even READ the book!!??

So Elinor is bummed her sister will be moving in as she is flighty, boy-crazy, and has no clue what she is doing. As soon as she moves in she starts shaking things up by redecorating and changing things. Elinor gets angry and flips out on her messing up her apartment.

Now I get that Elinor doesn’t want her sister to take over her space, but seriously? You know she isn’t staying for a few nights, but planning to LIVE with you. Unless you specifically drew up a roommate agreement or told her she only gets her room and a shelf in the fridge you are seriously overreacting.

They try to make it seem like Marianne is just doing what she wants-but Elinor is seriously being a control freak.

Calm down. They eventually patch things up and compromise.

Now the clothes that Marianne wears are really weird. 2015 was only four years ago, I remember what was popular and people where wearing and it was not that. Who picked your wardrobe? It is more 2005 than 2015.

Lizzie Bennet has the client William Darcy (Gavin Bentley) who is such a major jerk I am actually hoping they do not end up together.

Yes, a retelling made me actually wish that.

I think the world is going to explode or I’m going to die…too late

Good-bye, cruel world.

Too late

Sorry, this post will not be brought to you by the undead.

So Darcy in this is a total pain-complete and utter jerk. I really don’t see how they will redeem him.

Jerk

Also Lizzie’s parents are planing on divorcing and she doesn’t want them to as she doesn’t want her mother to try to live with her.

Woooooooow, real daughter of the year that one.

Both of her parents are going to Emma, who Lizzie gets to join her in her plan to reunite her parents. Emma plans a dinner date and before you can say The Parent Trap all is solved and they remember their love for each other.

This was weird to me. Why have that be the center of your episode? And just throwing this out there, maybe they would be better off not together. They fight nonstop (as Lizzie says) which isn’t healthy and a bad example to their children. I’m not for divorce, but if you read the book, they got married for the wrong reasons and were very unhappy with each other. And if they fight constantly, it might be better to at least try counseling or a separation.

Just throwing that out there, but none of my business.

Later Darcy storms in and yells and is a jerk to Emma as he works with her. Ugh, can we cut him out.

Yes, a retelling made me say that. As I said I think the world is going to end.

So yeah, I do not have high hopes for this show, but I’ll keep on watching. The things I do for Jane.

Ouch!

Sometimes when I read/watch a really bad retelling, I’m kind of glad that Jane Austen isn’t alive to see it. I think she’d be mortified at some things we come up with.

For more Jane Austen film retellings, go to Mrs. Darcy Wants to Know the Truth!: Death Comes to Pemberley, Episode Three (2013)

For more Sense & Sensibility, go to Jane Austen Chinese Zodiac

For more Pride & Prejudice, go to Pride, Prejudice, and Personal Statements

For more Emma, go to Dull Times Breed Disaster

Desire & Decorum: Chapter 7, Opera St. James

In the last episode I had a dinner party with Mr. Sinclaire, and learned all about his real wife and the ugly side of the Duke. The two of us have grown closer together, and I don’t mind admitting I’m falling for the Mr. Darcylike man.

In this episode I’m invited to the opera, so first stop the clothing store!

You have the option of buying a beautiful dress, but as I’ve been invited to go with Duke Richards, yuck-I’m not buying anything nice. I’m just going to wear an old dress. He doesn’t need anything special.

The one I bought for the dinner will do nicely.

Poor Miss Parsons, we talk and she discusses a horrid date she had. It is with a gross old man, ugh, the girl can’t catch a break. Too bad my brother died or we could have been sisters.

As I head out of the shop, I run into Prince Hamid. You all remember him, the man who rescued Miss Parsons and I when Mr. Marcastle left us stranded in London.

He’s with the Duke, ugh! Can this guy just get lost!

The Duke

The Duke is planning on taking you and Miss Parson’s to see Handel’s Almira and is surprised to hear that I know of it. Seriously dude, my mama was an opera star.

Princess Almira has inherited the throne from her father, but he wishes that she marries someone from the House of Consalvo. The House of Consalvo has one son, but Princess Almira is not interested in him, and he only wants her for wealth and power. Instead, Princess Almira is in love with a man who has unknown parentage, Fernando. There are a lot of twists and turns in the opera, will it end happily or in tragedy?

So this makes me think of two things: first of all-wow what a crazy coincidence! That’s what’s kind of happening in my life.

And secondly:

Back to the game, Prince Hamid offers to pick you up when we go to the opera, but ugh the Duke is taking you. Bah.

Ugh, this guy!

However, the Duke has other business to attend to-so Prince Hamid offers to take you over early to the opera. Here is your chance to get a closer look at who your mother was!

I’ll get the secrets!

I go into the opera house and feel melancholy as I wished I had asked my mother more questions. I meet an actress who tells me my mother was an amazing singer, she was a big star until she became pregnant. They invite you to stay to watch, and as much as I love to I turned it down.

The stage is no place for a respectable girl, and I need to protect my reputation-I have Mr. Marcastle to deal with. And he is just waiting for an opportunity like this.

When you go home, you have a big surprise. Luke Harper is there with a letter from your father!

The hunt is on,

But which man do I want? It’s up to you to decide! Plus you have to fight the rumors that the Countess is spreading.

For more on Desire & Decorum, go to Desire & Decorum: Chapter 6, An Intimate Affair

For more on Choices, go to Kissing the Blarney Stone: 7 More Irish Heroes

For more on the opera, go to Le Fantôme de l’Opéra

For more ABBA, go to Dancing Queen

For more Jane Austen Quotes, go to Book Club Pick: Far Side of the Sea