Desire & Decorum: Chapter 9, An Indelicate Proposal

So in the last episode I went to the Opera where the stupid Duke assaulted me all night.

And I went off with Mr. Sinclaire, to get away from the Duke, and had a nice moment with him.

So first things first, I hate the title for this chapter because all I can think of is:

An that title has nothing to with this chapter-I don’t even get proposed to. Seriously people.

Anyways, so grandma has arrived to give me a dressing down for my behavior, but I’ve been good except last night when I was with Mr. Sinclaire. And that was mostly because I knew the Duke would assault me if I road with him.

It’s not fair!

Grandma reads me the riot act:

Miss Sutton! Not only is she saying that but that the Earl is not my father and that I am seducing men.

Forget you!

I”M SO ANGRY, but I know it’s not Miss Sutton:

My grandmother agrees with me, but it doesn’t matter the truth. My reputation is on the line ad I need to restore it before it is too late. After all a reputation is all a woman has.

So Grandma is going to have Mr. Marcastle host a card game. This will give me a chance to win people over with the home court advantage.

The next morning, Grandma sets out to settle the rumors surrounding me. But before she sets out to do that, she wants to know who I am interested in. We talk about it:

Grandma is still pushing the Duke, but as I try and share what Mr. Sinclaire shared with me about him, but before I get a chance to we are interrupted by Miss Parsons.

Excuse me!

Grandmother urges Miss Parsons and I to paint. This is something that Catherine has no training in and I think it is one of those in my “quest” to achieve.

It looks like a palette is there in front of the fireplace.

Miss Parsons invites me to accompany her to the greenhouse so she can paint me. Then I can send off miniatures to my father, friends, and maybe…Mr. Sinclaire?

Trying to flirt

So in this game there are quite a bit of things that are not correct for Regency history and culture, and I have forgiven them for this-but looking at the Greenhouse, I noticed it had a lot of glass and was more open. To me that doesn’t seem quite right, as I know the Crystal Place wasn’t constructed until 1854 (thank you Art History). So I did some research, and like I thought because the technology wasn’t invented yet, most greenhouses were regular buildings with just a lot more windows.

But I guess that isn’t a huge issue. Still though, it wouldn’t take you guys too much at Choices to google it. I mean there are tons of books, blogs, and more on it.

Research

Anyways…we try to paint.

This reminds me of the scene in Emma when Emma paints Harriet.

“Miss Woodhouse has given her friend the only beauty she wanted,’—observed Mrs. Weston to him—not in the least suspecting that she was addressing a lover.—’The expression of the eye is most correct, but Miss Smith has not those eye-brows and eye-lashes. It is the fault of her face that she has them not.’ ‘Do you think so?’ replied he [Mr. Elton]. ‘I cannot agree with you. It appears to me a most perfect resemblance in every feature. I never saw such a likeness in my life. We must allow for the effect of shade, you know.’ ‘You have made her too tall, Emma,’ said Mr. Knightley. Emma knew that she had, but would not own it…”

But while that is fun, something is bothering my friend Miss Parsons. I ask her about it and she wants to discuss it outside the greenhouse, so we walk outside.

Her family is eager to marry her off, as her fiancé died (my half brother who passed away before the game starts) and they want her to marry an old geezer who can’t hear and is on wife number 5. Looks like he’s giving Henry the VIII a run for his money.

I’m shocked, but that’s how it was then. It’s funny but this exchange reminds me of the book Prada and Prejudice, a teen YA retelling I read back when I was 17. In the story the girl buys these prada heels at a thrift store and trips, waking up in 1812! They all think she is the long lost friend recently returned from America. She then tries to help Emily (the girl who thinks she is her long-lost friend) from marrying an old man.

Well, now that I have brought it up, I’ll need to review the book. Watch out for it!

Looking forward to it!

Anyways…

What was I talking about?

Oh, yeah-tonight the geezer plans to propose at Mr. Marcastle’s card game. Just like in Prada & Prejudice, I decide that I will do all in my power to help stop it.

She kind of reminds me of Charlotte Lucas, how she feels at the end of her rope and her family is willing to have her go off with almost any guy.

Miss Parsons feels stuck, but I’m there for her and promise that of she gets thrown out of her home for refusing the Viscount, that I will open my home for her.

So after the painting, I head back to get ready for the card game. They offer a green dress, but I don’t really like it. Not to be mean, but I find it kind of ugly. So I wear the red one I bought for Mr. Sinclaire’s party.

Briar, my maid (and best friend from the country) and I talk and she tries to convince me that Mr. Marcastle is just the greatest thing ever. Nothing I say will convince her that this is a bad idea. He’s an engaged gentleman, and you are a servant, seriously Briar, he’s just messing with you.

So the card game I am playing Old Maid with Miss Holloway and my Grandma, but I don’t think that was something they played in regency times. So let’s do some more research…

So it was created in the late 1700s, but wasn’t popular until Victorian times. Still it fits in the timeline, so its good. However, I would prefer them playing Whist.

And of course this is a great metaphor as Miss Holloway and I are not only competing in the game but in real life as to who will end up “the Old Maid”.

Ooohh…she angry. Haha

Sucks to be you

So interestingly, even though Mr. Marcastle is engaged he is trying to get with Miss Holloway-oh no! That’s not how it was done! It was practically a contract-people would go to court and have to pay a fine over broken engagements. So he wouldn’t be doing that-especially with the question of his inheritance up for grabs.

I really don’t think you guys did any research.

Miss Parsons is just as shocked and all I can think is this dude needs to get his act together, three ladies? He’s just asking to be murdered.

You are just asking to be killed.

So I’m there mostly for my bestie, Miss Parsons:

Yep, don’t mess with me!

We take a turn about the room to escape from the Viscount.

Grandma notices the attentions that Mr. Marcastle is giving Miss Holloway and slams him.

So Miss Parsons and I go clue crew on why is Mr. Marcastle trying to flirt with Miss Holloway?

We conclude it must be my evil-stepmother, but why would she do that? It doesn’t make sense.

Huh?

Miss Holloway hears about my painting lesson and makes fun of the artwork, but she ends up making fun of my grandma’s ands gets a dressing down.

Miss Parsons is still ignoring the Viscount, and w step outside for a minute. I try to encourage her to not give in and marry him, as she won’t be happy.

When he follows us outside, Miss Parsons says she can’t spend any time with him as she promised me some painting lessons. Painting lessons in the middle of a party? Sounds weird, but whatever.

She teaches me how to paint and I create a masterpiece! An apple!

For those of you who have played the other Choices games, it’s the same one that Kira’s mom, Joelle, makes in The Royal Romance: Book 3. And she’s a famous artist, so that means mine is fantastic!

And I gained the painter’s easel and palette:

I’m not sure what is left as that looks like I’ve accomplished everything!

Despite our best efforts, the viscount proposes and Miss Parsons turns him down cold-in front of everyone. And as he has horrible hearing-all HEARD it.

Mr. Marcastle tries to propose to Miss Holloway, again-would NOT have been done. But she slams him with his behavior with Briar:

Ouch

But news comes that my father has been stricken ill. I want to return home, but grandma wishes me to stay. My dad should be okay…right?

I guess we will just have to wait and see…

For more Desire & Decorum, go to Desire & Decorum: Chapter 8, Ill Repute

For more Choices, go to Desire & Decorum: Chapter 7, Opera St. James

For more Bible verses, go to Book Club Picks: Julie

For more painting, go to Book Club Picks: The Masterpiece

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We Are Family: Austentatious (2015)

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if all the Austen characters were friends and lived in the same town. Hmm, have I asked this before? Oh yeah…

That was a good book, unfortunately this isn’t a review of the next novel in that series but of the TV show:

Yes, all the Austen characters live in the same city, the city of…hmm they never say where this takes place. They all have an American accent except for Emma who is British, sometimes.

Ugh!

I’ve noticed in other episodes it just seems to fade away. She must not be faking it because no one else has one so why would they make her have one? But I cant explain why that happens with her. Anyways

I don’t know

So it says that it is the Austen characters, but only seems to have Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth Bennet, Elinor Dashwood, Marianne Dashwood, Emma Woodhouse, Mr. Knightley, and Colonel Brandon. Yes there is no one from Northanger Abbey, Mansfield Park, or Persuasion.

Forget you!

I mean really? I wish someone would do “all” the characters and actually have “all” the characters.

So the story takes place in modern times. We start of with Elinor Dashwood (Kristen Marie Jensen) who is an IRS and is complaining to her friends Lizzie Bennet (Elise Groves), real estate agent, and Emma Woodhouse (Shona Kay), divorce attorney. Oops, and friend Grant Knightley (supposed to be GEORGE why change to Grant? I mean George is a common name), played by Brad Johnson, and works with Emma? I’m not quite clear.

HOld on…okay Elinor as a tax accountant, okay I can buy that as she is well organized and great with finances.

Lizzie as a real estate agent, I have a hard time seeing. I could see her more as a writer or Park Ranger or manager at something.

Meh.

BUT Emma as a divorce attorney?

That’s just crazy. First of all she hates reading-no way. Second, I don not believe someone who tries to match people up all the time could spend days working with separating couples. That makes no sense to me.

Did you even READ the book!!??

So Elinor is bummed her sister will be moving in as she is flighty, boy-crazy, and has no clue what she is doing. As soon as she moves in she starts shaking things up by redecorating and changing things. Elinor gets angry and flips out on her messing up her apartment.

Now I get that Elinor doesn’t want her sister to take over her space, but seriously? You know she isn’t staying for a few nights, but planning to LIVE with you. Unless you specifically drew up a roommate agreement or told her she only gets her room and a shelf in the fridge you are seriously overreacting.

They try to make it seem like Marianne is just doing what she wants-but Elinor is seriously being a control freak.

Calm down. They eventually patch things up and compromise.

Now the clothes that Marianne wears are really weird. 2015 was only four years ago, I remember what was popular and people where wearing and it was not that. Who picked your wardrobe? It is more 2005 than 2015.

Lizzie Bennet has the client William Darcy (Gavin Bentley) who is such a major jerk I am actually hoping they do not end up together.

Yes, a retelling made me actually wish that.

I think the world is going to explode or I’m going to die…too late

Good-bye, cruel world.

Too late

Sorry, this post will not be brought to you by the undead.

So Darcy in this is a total pain-complete and utter jerk. I really don’t see how they will redeem him.

Jerk

Also Lizzie’s parents are planing on divorcing and she doesn’t want them to as she doesn’t want her mother to try to live with her.

Woooooooow, real daughter of the year that one.

Both of her parents are going to Emma, who Lizzie gets to join her in her plan to reunite her parents. Emma plans a dinner date and before you can say The Parent Trap all is solved and they remember their love for each other.

This was weird to me. Why have that be the center of your episode? And just throwing this out there, maybe they would be better off not together. They fight nonstop (as Lizzie says) which isn’t healthy and a bad example to their children. I’m not for divorce, but if you read the book, they got married for the wrong reasons and were very unhappy with each other. And if they fight constantly, it might be better to at least try counseling or a separation.

Just throwing that out there, but none of my business.

Later Darcy storms in and yells and is a jerk to Emma as he works with her. Ugh, can we cut him out.

Yes, a retelling made me say that. As I said I think the world is going to end.

So yeah, I do not have high hopes for this show, but I’ll keep on watching. The things I do for Jane.

Ouch!

Sometimes when I read/watch a really bad retelling, I’m kind of glad that Jane Austen isn’t alive to see it. I think she’d be mortified at some things we come up with.

For more Jane Austen film retellings, go to Mrs. Darcy Wants to Know the Truth!: Death Comes to Pemberley, Episode Three (2013)

For more Sense & Sensibility, go to Jane Austen Chinese Zodiac

For more Pride & Prejudice, go to Pride, Prejudice, and Personal Statements

For more Emma, go to Dull Times Breed Disaster

Pride, Prejudice, and Personal Statements

Pride, Prejudice, and Personal Statements by Mary Pagones

I was given this book free in exchange for an honest review. I had planned to post the review earlier, but I had to go out of town for my grandmother’s funeral, and then the rest of the week was packed.

But then I began to put it off as I have been having such a hard time reviewing this book.

But I’m actually glad I did. I don’t know if you have been following the college bribe scandal involving Lori Loughlin and Felicity Hoffman-but this book is right up that alley. Crazy parents who will do practically anything to have their kids go to a “good” college. Expensive college application tutors doing all they can to get the kids placed and increase their application. If interested, go to this link. For the review-keep reading.

First let me start that I want to give props to Mary Pagones. Writing is hard…

Writing a whole book is even harder, and then putting your work out there for people to praise or pull apart-

That’s hard. So for finishing your book, Mary Pagones-

So I have been having such a hard time reviewing this book. I thought it was interesting but I’m sorry, I know that this will probably make the author angry-but I didn’t see Pride and Prejudice at all, but Emma.

What?

Yep-

Yes, I…well let’d back up. I’ll go over that later, let’s do a quick plot synopsis first:

So this is the story of Lissa- Jane Austen megafan who is getting ready to apply to college. She faces all the difficulties of branding herself, having a personal statement, using the scholarship from one school to leverage getting more money out of the other, etc. Besides that, she has her senior year with her friends, and a new boyfriend, and trying to do what she can to ace her SATs, pad her application, and hopefully-get into the school of her dreams!

So the first thing that made this book hard for me was that this concept was so foreign to me. I was shocked and confused, is this really how it is like? My experience was soooo different. I graduated in 2010 and am the first in my family to ever go to a four year university, and one immediately out of high school. I had no clue how to do anything and had knew no one to ask about it. There were no “college applications tutors”. We didn’t even have a guidance counselor-just the former principal who had retired and volunteered. I had never even heard of a college application tutor until reading this book.

Uhhhhhhh

I am biracial and the running joke in my family is that the only college fund we have is that my mom is Mexican-and I could hopefully get scholarships. I’m from a low-income area, mostly agriculture, but I did go to college prep/art school. I applied in mass (thank you fee waivers) to four UCs and four CSUs. I was lucky to get into al but one, UCLA. There were no interviews-just my resume of extracurriculars (which I had a ton of), transcripts, letters of references, and a personal statement (that I cant even remember what I wrote but I did have a teacher review it for me). I received my letters and then judged them based on the amount I received in scholarship money-I didn’t even know that you could use one’s amount as leverage as stated in this book. Basically I ended up split between two schools that were giving me the most. The school I chose, my first year was paid for, I had to take loans out the next three years, and work two jobs to put myself through school.

I had a hard time reading this book and hearing Lissa whine about being poor when she and her sister have iPhones and each have a laptop. I had a CD player because I and my family couldn’t afford anything. We had one computer growing up-that was my dad ad I only got my laptop my first year of college through my scholarship funds, and because I had a family friend who worked with Apple. Unfortunately, the one I purchased was outmoded the next year. Only by the grace of God is it still running. My first cellphone was a flip phone I got for free from the company because they were outmoding them, and it cost $40 a month, the cheapest I could get.

Lissa and her family eat all kinds of hamburger, pizza, turkey meatballs, name brand cereal, etc-and she can afford to buy lunch everyday from the cafeteria. Poor is surviving on 1/4 cup of oatmeal, hot chocolate instead of milk, and having to choose between fruit and dairy (which I did in college until I got my two jobs). She says that she is poor, but snubs her nose at a school that has maid service-if she was really poor she’d be down on that. If I didn’t have to clean my four years-woohoo. Do you know how much cleaning supplies can add up to? Luckily, today the Dollar Tree carries a lot.

As poor as these ladies

The other part I had trouble connecting to is when Lissa describes being at the college and meeting all these goth/all black wearing, alternative, pieced people-in a Jane Austen literature class. Really? In a Jane Austen class? I’m not surprised there would be some-but what about all the other people who would be in such a class.

My junior year I took an upperclass history class: The History of the Novel. Half the kids were in there for history, half were English majors. There is a picture of us and I will describe how we look. First there is Kevin: Kevin was a super outdoorsy, park ranger, hiker type guy. Hiking boots, loved the outdoors, all-american blonde football-type, in a baseball cap, tee shirt, and jeans. Then there was Thomas, noir-loving, Sundance, type guy-like Jughead Jones in TV’s Riverdale stole his look with the long hair, jacket, etc. Angelica-long curly hair/afro, always wore big rings, and smart jackets-very professional. Gwynn wore her hair long, with side bangs over one eye-dark eyeshadow and liner, jeans, and thin hoodies. Belinda was in a sorority and always had perfectly straightened hair and wore a shirt/sweater with the sorority letters on it. Kate was full athlete-always workout gear and hair in braid or ponytail. And then me-I’m wearing a little jacket my mom made, lacy “Jane Austen” inspired shirt and cowboy boots. A large variety of personalities, clothes, and interests.

Wow!

So I have to say that this book wasn’t for me. I just couldn’t connect with the characters or the plot. I guess a lot has changed in nine years. Or it might have been the area I grew up in versus where this is set.

I guess I’m too old.

So lets move on to why do I think this is Emma?

So the story is of a widowed father who loved his wife dearly, and lost her suddenly. He has two daughters which he cherishes, has a close relationship too, and worries constantly about.

Then we have the main character, Lissa. Lissa is headstrong and stubborn-but at the same time she is also a tad manipulative, thinks she knows everything, and can be harsh and judgmental. True-Elizabeth does share some of these qualities but I feel Lissa is way more Emma.  Like Emma she thinks she knows everything and in the end discovers that she was much more naive than she thought.

She can be very controlling of her friends-pushing Calvin to “officially” out himself, instead of letting him do things how he wants. She is also constantly trying to match her friend Jacqui up-first with a guy they go to school with, Noel, but when she determines that he is not worthy-tries to get her to match up with a guy Jacqui met on a school tour.

She meets a guy, Hugh Fitzgerald, and because of how he dresses basically she believes that he is perfect-not really getting to know him and enjoying his sarcastic jabs at everyone and everything…

That is until his jabs are aimed at her and she realizes that he is not that great of  person after all-very much like how Emma realizes Franck Churchill is a major jerk. Hugh is so Frank Churchill, he uses Lissa to get him through English and write a screenplay for his movie which he takes full credit for-while at the same time boinking her sister; just as Frank used Emma to deflect he was involved with Jane.

Jacqui is so a Harriet in my opinion. Jacqui is Lissa’s best friend and is kind, sweet, and completely convinced into doing whatever Lissa thinks she should do. Lissa thinks she should get closer to Noel, Jacqui does. Lissa thinks that Jacqui should go with her to the Regency Fair, even though Jacqui isn’t into it-Jacqui not only does, but has a dress made, gloves, etc. Then Lissa pushes Jacqui to another guy, and she does go after him.

Lissa hates on a classmate Charlotte so much, but I don’t see any real reason to dislike her. Charlotte is wealthy, goes on lots of trips, talks about her grades and Princeton constantly-but she cares about people and never flaunts what she has in other people’s faces. She may gossip a lot but she’s not mean about it or cruel. Lissa just hates on her because she is jealous-and all her reactions reminds me of Emma and Jane Fairfax. Jane Fairfax is Emma’s number-one hated person but there is no real reason to dislike her. Emma just does because she is jealous off all she has and her talents.

I think Calvin was supposed to be Charlotte from Pride and Prejudice, but I see a Mrs. Weston vibe. Calvin tries to help Lissa and give her some advice, but then is also easily led by Lissa.

And then there is Mr. Clarke-he is so Mr. Knightley. He tries to help Lissa, instructing her in books, schools, and life.

They even dance together and quote from Emma (although that’s not something I think Mr. Clarke should have with all the teacher/student romantic relationships that have been in the news.)

This has nothing to with Emma, but Lissa’s little sister-ouch. Lissa should have told her father that her sister makes awful decisions about boys and will be ending up pregnant or with an STD if dad doesn’t get into checking on her. But really Lissa, giving your skeezy boyfriend’s number to your young, naive, impressionable sister and setting them up to all kinds of things together alone-reminds me of my friend Shannon, who had her friend Samantha tutor her boyfriend Vincent, and next thing you know-Vin and Sam were together.

Forget you!

So I know I have been harsh, as I said I don’t think this book was for me. I will say that I really enjoyed her writing style, it was a very engrossing read.

And I LOVE how she wove points and quotes from Jane Austen throughout her work. It is littered with it, and a fangirl’s delight.

She was able to tell a story based on a Jane Austen work, but it is something that an non-Austen fan can easily follow along with.

I also think that she made some very strong points and observations of Austen and her novels in her work. You might not agree with everything, but she has sound reasoning and presents a good case and an interesting view.

Hmmm….

I liked her depictions of teenagers and how Lissa thinks she knows everything, but is not as on it as she thought she was-falling for a narcissistic pig like so many young teens and women fall victim too.

As I said it was a hard review to write. I think it is definitely worth checking out, especially in light if the recent scandal and how far parents will go to get their kids into school. I mean bribing admissions so your kids can get in? I could see Mrs. Bennet doing it.

If you do read it, comment below what you think. I’d love to hear it.

For more Emma, go to Jane Austen Chinese Zodiac

For more Emma variations, go to Dangerous to Know, Jane Austen’s Rakes & Gentlemen Rogues: MODERATE

For more Pride and Prejudice, go to Dangerous to Know, Jane Austen’s Rakes & Gentlemen Rogues: MATURE

For more Pride and Prejudice variations, go to Why Do People Love Bridget Jones’ Diary?

For more Young Adult novels, go to Victoria and the Rogue

Jane Austen Chinese Zodiac

So today marks the last day of the Chinese New Year! Every year I do a Chinese New Year post, and this year as I was starting to write it I was wondering what if the Jane Austen characters celebrated the Chinese New Year? What would they be?

Hmm…

Of course when that idea came I had to write a post! Now how I did it may not be one hundred percent accurate as I don’t know the exact year they would have been born. Basically I took the age they were and misused it back from the the year the book was published-so even though some books may have been written earlier than their publishing date, I figured it would be easier to just go with that. Without further ado, here we go!

Colonel Brandon, Born 1776- Year of the Monkey

I’m a Monkey too!! Cool!

Monkeys are intelligent and can be lighthearted pranksters or slightly mischievous. They are logical thinkers and do well in any field where they can apply that type of thinking. They tend to be competitive and their fault can be arrogance. They are also very forgiving and tolerant of others.

Because of his year, Colonel Brandon is a fire monkey which means that they have big dreams, are family orientated, and set goals-achieving them. They also can have a hot temper.

Monkeys do best with a Rat, Snake, or Dragon. They should romantically avoid Pigs & Tigers.

For more Colonel Brandon, go to The Austen Series: Reason and Romance

Mr. Knightley, Born 1777-Year of the Rooster

Roosters are serious, straightforward, logical, organized, and good at managing things. They criticize things they see are unfit and can be perfectionists. They are also planners and problem solvers. They enjoy family as they are their refuge.

Because of his year, Mr. Knightley is a Fire Rooster. They are great at time management and very trustworthy.

Romantically they are best with Dragons, Snakes, and Oxen. They don’t do well with Rabbits, Dogs, or other Roosters.

For more on Mr. Knightley, go to Always Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide

Mr. Darcy, Born 1785-Year of the Snake

People born in the year of the snake are sophisticated, hold their own ground, calm in the midst of chaos, alert, and observant. They are humorous and great in social situations. They are romantic and empathetic. They are not good with small talk but crave to be the center of attention.

Because of the year, Mr. Darcy is a Wood Snake-easygoing, good at making friends and tend to be more on the perfectionist side.

Snakes should be romantically involved with a Monkey, Rooster, or Ox. They should avoid Tigers and Pigs.

For more on Mr. Darcy, go to Darcy’s ’80’s Power Song

Captain Fredrick Wentworth, Born 1787- Year of the Goat/Sheep

Goats are strong, resilient, and able to persevere through anything. They are quiet observers and analyze everything before making a decision. They love animals, children, and nature. They are friendly, empathetic, forgiving, generous with time and money, and very good at organization. They are genuine, helpful, but at times can be very pessimistic.

With the year he was born in, Wentworth is a Fire Goat. They are straightforward, loyal, and tend to worry over small details.

They are best romantically with Horses, Pigs, or Rabbits. They should avoid Oxen, Rats, and Dogs.

For more on Captain Wentworthgo to I’m On a Boat

Edward Ferrars, Born 1788-Year of the Monkey

As stated above: Monkeys are intelligent and can be lighthearted pranksters or slightly mischievous. They are logical thinkers and do well in any field where they can apply that type of thinking. They tend to be competitive and their fault can be arrogance. They also are very forgiving and tolerant of others.

Unlike Colonel Brandon, Edward is an Earth Monkey. Earth Monkeys are cheerful and very optimistic. They tend to not have a lot of support but are able to overcome those difficulties and through hard work to achieve a happy life.

Monkeys do best with a Rat, Snake, or Dragon. They should romantically avoid Pigs & Tigers.

For more on Edward Ferrars, go to Lambie-Pie

Edmund Bertram, Born 1789-Year of the Rooster

As stated above- roosters are serious, straightforward, logical, organized, and good at managing things. They criticize things they see are unfit and can be perfectionists. They are also planners and problem solvers. They enjoy family as they are their refuge.

Because of his year, Edmund is an Earth Rooster. They love going on outings with friends and are patient and reliable. They work hard and this rewards them in their career.

Romantically they are best with Dragons, Snakes, and Oxen. They don’t do well with Rabbits, Dogs, or other Roosters.

For more on Edmund Bertram, go to You Put the Jedi in Pride & PreJEDIce 

Anne Elliot, Born 1791-Pig

Hey girl, this is your year!

Pigs are realistic, treat themselves well (they are a bit materialistic), hard workers, energetic, and enthusiastic. They are friendly and easily gain trust from others. They are very organized and blessed with good fortune and wealth.

Anne is a Metal Pig, which mind their own business, are lazy, and do bad with budgeting/saving. (So not her!)

Pigs are most compatible with Tigers, Rabbits, and Goats. They should avoid Snakes and Monkeys.

For more on Anne Elliot, go to For Darkness Shows the Stars

Elinor Dashwood, Born 1792-Rat

Rats are sensitive to others’ emotions, kind, and likable to all. They like to save and are considered stingy by others. They are responsible, organized, and place importance on family.

Elinor is a Water Rat. Water Rats encounter hardships in their early years, but their middle ages things can settle down to a happy family. However, their relatives and friends can bring them down.

Rats are most compatible with Oxen, Dragons, and Monkeys. They should avoid Horses, Goats, and Rabbits.

For more on Elinor Dashwood, go to Suspense & Sensibility (Or First Impressions Revisited)

Elizabeth Bennet, Born 1793-Ox

Oxen are honest and earnest, low-key, and don’t like to be the center of attention. They tend to hide their talent as they pride themselves in hard work. They are kind, logical, and never lose their temper. They are calm, gentle, stubborn as heck, and will walk their path and do what they will no matter what.

Because of her year, Elizabeth is a Water Ox. Water Oxen are comfortable, respected, have a loving family, but it is recommend they marry late.

Oxen should be with a Rat, Snake, or Rooster. They should avoid Goats, Horses, and Dogs.

For more on Elizabeth Bennet, go to Pride & Prejudice: A Latter Day Comedy

Emma Woodhouse, Born 1794-Tiger

Tigers are kind, benevolent, and have rich emotions (which can be hard to control). They have a lot of imagination and persevere through disappointments. Tigers are mesmerizing, love their freedom, and express themselves through fashion and their work. They love children, are friendly, intelligent, and patient. But don’t let that fool you, they have claws and will unsheathe them when needed.

Because of her year, Emma is a Wood Tiger, honest and doesn’t have much to worry about.

Tigers do well with Pigs, Horses, and Dogs. They do not do well with Monkeys and Snakes.

For more on Emma Woodhouse, go to You Cannot Think That I Will Leave Off Match-Making

Henry Tilney, born 1794-Tiger

As stated above, Tigers are kind, benevolent, and have rich emotions (which can be hard to control). They have a lot of imagination and persevere through disappointments. Men who are tigers are confident, adventurous, and are willing to risk everything.

Because of his year, Henry is a Wood Tiger, honest and doesn’t have much to worry about.

Tigers do well with Pigs, Horses, and Dogs. They do not do well with Monkeys (NO!) and Snakes.

For more on Mr. Tilney, go to Why is Northanger Abbey Always Ignored?

Marianne Dashwood, Born 1795-Rabbit

Rabbits may seem weak and soft, but they are strong and confident. They will move toward their goal, no matter what negativity they face. They have great attention to detail and are great at socializing. In love they are very extreme! They love someone or they don’t care for them, there is a very clear line. When they love someone they put themselves and everything into that-but the deeper they go, the more they will get hurt if things go wrong.

Because of her year, Marianne is a Wood Rabbit. Wood Rabbits are not sly but do have tricks up their sleeves. They tend to be successful and do well career-wise.

Rabbits do best with Dogs, Pigs, and Goats. They should not be with Roosters, Dragons, or Rats.

For more on Marianne Dashwood, go to Candy Girls

Fanny Price, Born 1796-Dragon

Dragons are mesmerizing and strong. If you underestimate them, they will destroy you. They are serious in what they do and have high self-esteem. Even though dragons are strong and independent they still desire love and support.

Because of her year, Fanny is a Fire Dragon. Fire Dragons are intelligent and social.

Dragons should be with Roosters, Monkeys, or Rats. They should not be with Dogs, Rabbits, or other Dragons.

For more on Fanny Price, go to Clear Eyes. Full Hearts. Can’t Lose: Superbowl 50

Catherine Morland, Born 1801-Year of the Rooster

Roosters are serious, straightforward, logical, organized, and good at managing things. They criticize things they see are unfit and can be perfectionists. For women they are down to earth, responsible, and love to help others in any way they can.

Because of her year, Catherine is a Metal Rooster. They are decisive, set on plans, logical, and popular.

Romantically they are best with Dragons, Snakes, and Oxen. They don’t do well with Rabbits, Dogs, or other Roosters.

For more on Catherine Morland, go to No One Would Have Ever Guessed

According to the zodiac:

  • Colonel Brandon & Marianne 80% match
  • Edward & Elinor 100% match
  • Mr. Darcy & Elizabeth 100% match
  • Mr. Knightley and Emma 80% match
  • Edmund and Fanny 100% match
  • Henry and Catherine 80% match
  • Captain Fredrick Wentworth and Anne 100% match

So what do you all think? I thought it was interesting how the characters matched up pretty well according to the zodiac. I thought some people matched up with their description well, while others did not.

Hmm…

Jane Austen, Born 1775-Goat/Sheep

As said before, goats are strong, resilient, and able to presevere through anything. They are quiet observers and analyze everything before making a decision. They love animals, children, and nature. They are friendly, empathetic, forgiving, generous with time and money, and very good at organization.

For women-they are reliable and attentive, constantly observing so nothing escapes their attention. They are kind, motivated, and perform their tasks well.

With the year she was born, Jane Austen is a Wood Goat/Sheep. They are friendly and polite. They are also very sympathetic and always there to aid others. They love to be alone, even if they are married.

They are best romantically with Horses, Pigs, or Rabbits. They should avoid Oxen, Rats, and Dogs.

For more on Jane Austen, go to Jane Austen’s Royal Fanboy

For more Chinese New Year posts, go to Here Piggy, Piggy: Chinese New Year

For more Sense and Sensibility, go to Dangerous to Know, Jane Austen’s Rakes & Gentlemen Rogues: MODERATE

For more Pride & Prejudice, go to Why Do People Love Bridget Jones’ Diary?

For more Emma, go to Victoria and the Rogue

For more Mansfield Park, go to Dangerous to Know, Jane Austen’s Rakes & Gentlemen Rogues: MATURE

For more Northanger Abbey, go to Dangerous to Know: Jane Austen’s Rakes & Gentlemen Rogues

For more Persuasion, go to Right Away I Know I Won’t Like You

Victoria and the Rogue

Victoria and the Rogue (An Avon True Romance #12) by Meg Cabot

I first was introduced to Meg Cabot through her book All-American Girl, later reading The Princess Diaries series. Another book series she helped write was Avon True Romance for Teens.  

The Avon True Romance for Teens was written by different authors and is a collection of clean, historical romances-written specifically for the teen/YA market.

I was going to include this in the Non-Austen Reads for Austen Readers, but as I continued to read the story I realized that this was basically Emma, with some Pride and Prejudice thrown in.

Hmm…

I mean it isn’t an exact retelling, but there are just so many similarities. Let’s begin the review.

Lady Victoria Arbuthnot, Duchess of Harrow, is a young, beautiful, wealthy woman. Her parents traveled to India when she was little and died there leaving her an orphan and raised by her uncles. She was not interested at all in being married but just living her life with her fortune. Sound like someone we know?

“Never mind, Harriet, I shall not be a poor old maid; and it is poverty only which makes celibacy contemptible to a generous public! A single woman, with a very narrow income, must be a ridiculous, disagreeable, old maid! the proper sport of boys and girls; but a single woman, of good fortune, is always respectable, and may be as sensible and pleasant as anybody else.” –Emma

She, however, did fully intend to match up her uncles.

This, however, they do not like at all. To stop her from meddling they decide to send her back to England wagering on how long it will take for her to get a proposal. She decides to prove them wrong and ends up engaged on the boat over.

Yes, engaged to Lord Hugo Rothschild, Earl of Malfrey. He’s a bit of a fop caring for his clothes and money and just not really seeming to be a stand up gentleman. After all, who enters secret engagements if they have honorable intentions?

Frank Churchill

But also on the trip is the very annoying Captain Jacob Carstairs who likes to tell her what she is doing wrong and tries to stop her from managing (her word), or meddling (his word), on the way the ship is run.

Victoria meets her relatives that reside in England for the first time, the Gardiners. They are poorer than her and have a very large family full of kids, much different than how it was for her in India.

This is…pleasant? 

Something that differs from Emma, is that as Victoria was raised in India and she doesn’t behave quite like most gentle ladies of society. She can shoot a gun expertly, doesn’t accept help from getting down from the boat, and breaks “societal” rules she has no knowldge of. Emma on the other hand was finely tutored.

Victoria meets her older cousin Rebecca “Becky” Gardiner who she discovers has a crush on Captain Carstairs. Oh no, this must not be as Victoria thinks of Captain Carstairs as a rogue and sets her mind on finding a more suitable man. Just like Emma…

Rebecca envies Victoria’s gowns, money, fans, and the time she spent with the very wealthy Captain Carstairs. It turns out that he is not only a Captain, but he owns the ship that they used and not just that one-a fleet of them. He worked hard to take his father’s business and turn it into something truly powerful.

Vicky lets it slip that she is engaged but manages to coerce her cousin into keeping the secret by giving her a beautiful gown and fan.

Rebecca tries to warn Victoria about Lord Malfrey, as he has no fortune. But Victoria doesn’t care, she wants a man that won’t boss her around but one she can hep and aid, one that needs her-even of that means she will be footing the bill.

-Speaking from experience and the wastrel of a man I married. This is not a good idea. Slight PSA. DO NOT DO THIS. BAD, VERY, VERY BAD IDEA

Unfortunately, for Victoria Captain Carstairs is a very good family friend. She will have to endure his company constantly.

Ugh

The family goes to Almack’s, for a ball and to be “out” in society. Captain Castairs reveled to all that Victoria is engaged, so that secret’s out. Captain Carstairs spends time at the dance to try and convince Victoria not to marry Lord Malferey-but Victoria won’t listen she wants to “organize his life.”

Captain Carstairs tries to convince Mr. Gardiner to stop the betrothal but Mr. Gardiner doesn’t really care. Vicky and him squabble some more before she sets her plan “Have Rebecca be with a man I Believe to Be Perfect for Her” into motion.

Victoria “loses” her fan and Rebecca meets the handsome Charles Abbot, who Victoria believed perfect for her cousin-arranging everything ever so nicely.

Captain Carstairs accuses her of being too controlling, but she counters that things are much better with her at the helm.

They have a picnic thrown by Lord Malfrey, in which she has him invite Mr. Abbott for Rebecca. Lord Malfrey’s mother is overly madeup and odd and his friends-not acceptable ones for society in dress and manners. And none of them talk aout anyting other than clothes and hunting.

And unfortunately for Victoria, Captain Carstairs arrives and disapproves of everything and all the people.

But then Rebecca’s bag is stolen by a street urchin. Just like Harriet in Emma. And just like in Emma Lord Malfey/Frank Churchill goes to save the day-except in this, one Victoria controls the situation by taking down the boy-to everyone’s surprise and shock.

They set to take him to the police, but Victoria feels bad for the boy and pretends to faint, causing a distraction that allows him to slip away.

They are invited to Captain Carstairs’ house to have dinner with him and his mother, but Victoria tries to stay behind. She can’t imagine having to go through a whole dinner with him.

They spend time together before dinner with Captain Carstairs and his mother. To Victoria’s shock she has a lovely and interesting conversation on India, boats, sailing, the navy, etc. Much more interesting than the talks she has with her fiancé and his mother.

Hmmm…

Anybody getting what I’m thinking…?

Hmm…

Jacob takes Victoria aside after dinner as he wants to speak of something serious with her. She thinks he is going to declare his love for her, but instead he tells her that Lord Malfrey is only marrying her for her money. Victoria doesn’t care…

…but then Captain Carstairs reveals a secret about Lord Malfrey that concerns his sister. Only a few trusted people know about it. The two were engaged, but when some ships were lost along with the Carstair’s fortune, Lord Malfrey dumped his sister and up and left-his sister utterly heartbroken.

Poor Georgina Margaret. But now she is married and living happy.

Victoria realizes the severity of the claim, and decides to trust Captain Carstairs and test Lord Malfey.

Captain Carstairs tries to speak to her, but she refuses him-embarrassed that she is attracted to him.

Ugh…I don’t want to like him.

Sh tests Lord Malfey, telling him that it turns out that she won’t get control of her fortune-married or single-until she is 21. That means they would have to wait five years. Lord Malfrey is having none of that and after throwing a big fit, Victoria decides she is done. Forget this dude.

Victoria is saddened, but soldiers on. After all there is Rebecca’s romance, the molding of the younger Gardiners, etc.

Unfortunately, Captain Carstairs won’t leave her alone. After a constant barrage and a plea by Mrs. Gardiner-Victoria agrees. Captain Carstairs is happy about end of the engagement, and tells her what you need is “someone who doesn’t need you”.

I have to agree with him. After being with someone who “needed” me which really meant “using”-It would be nice to have someone who isn’t going to just be taking but giving.

Well Captain Carstairs proposes…sort of. Here it is:

“Wouldn’t it be restful to come home to someone who needed nothing whatsoever from you?”

Really dude?

That’s Darcy level messed up.

I men you could say you love her or something.

I mean, seriously dude. Get yourself together.

He kisses her, and then Victoria becomes so upset she pushes him away. Victoria is justly angry an Captain Carstairs acts like a total tool.

Jerk

Seriously, “he won’t extol her virtues” or be romantic and refuses to ever ask her again.

Well fine. Seriously dude-would it kill you to say anything endearing. I mean Mr. Knightley:

Or Mr. Tilney

So he storms of and life goes on. Lord Malfrey asks Victoria to met him so that they might exchange letters. Victoria agrees but when she goes, she gets caught in the rain. He takes her inside and her clothes so she can dry and warm herself, but then the Malfreys won’t let her go. They want her money and they want it bad. Their plan is to trap her there all night and to “save her” from scandal force her to marry Lord Malfrey-just like Wickham’s plan.

She gets locked in a room, but Victoria is no quitter. She doesn’t quite know what to do, and is in her underwear, but decides she cannot stay there and makes a break for it out the window.

She tries to go to the police to get help, but they think she is a prostitute, and ignore her. She does gets saved by some street urchins, the ones in the group that belonged to the boy she saved earlier. He keeps her safe there with the others while going off to deliver her note to Captain Carstairs.

He comes right away in answer to her note, and brings clothes, like Victoria asked. When he gets there Victoria tells him the whole story. They concoct a story to give to the Gardiners, and Captain Carstairs takes her home.

Captain Carstirs is so angry about what happened, Victoria is convinced that he would try to duel with Lord Malfrey. She wonders why she is so upset when she realizes she is in love with Captain Carstairs.

She hears nothing from him and agonizes over what is happening. (Just like in Emma when Mr. Knightey is gone visiting his brother and Emma is freaking out as she realizes she loves him.) Victoria writes him a note but hears nothing. She is so anxious and angry at herself for turning him down, especially as she knows he won’t ask her again.

A man who has once been refused! How could I ever be foolish enough to expect a renewal of his love? –Pride and Prejudice

Victoria has a little bit of a breakdown believing Captain Carstairs is dead. The Gardiner’s see her distressed state and think she is sick, wanting her to stay home but she has to go out to Almack’s, as she needs to know if Captain Carstairs is alive.

He acts cold, polite and aloof.

Victoria pleads with Captain Carstairs and he tells her that there was no duel. He just told the Malfreys that they needed to go to France and never return to England or else he would let out the news about Malfrey’s first wife, Mary Gilbreath, and their divorce.

All ends well with Victoria and Captin Carstairs ironing out their issues and ending up together.

Meh.

I thought it was a fun story with great characters except for Captain Carstairs. As you can see from the above gif, I didn’t care for him and Victoria to end up together.  I found Captain Carstairs to be annoying, mean, immature, and a major jerk, only a shadow of Mr. Knightly and Mr. Darcy. Personally I believe Victoria could do better.

 

For more on Emma, go to Always Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide

For more Emma variations, go to A Visit to Highbury: Another View of Emma

For more books based on Jane Austen, go to Dangerous to Know, Jane Austen’s Rakes & Gentlemen Rogues: MILD

For more Meg Cabot, go to Would You Like a Pizza My Heart?: The Princess Diaries (2001)

 

Desire & Decorum: Chapter 1, The Journey Ahead

So do you all remember the film Big? Tom Hanks is a preteen that wishes to be “big” and becomes a 30-year old man?

He tries to find a Zoltar machine to change him back, but meanwhile works for a toy company to make money. Because of his childlike understanding, he moves straight to the top of the company.

Now his idea for a new toy is a computer game/book that you read but get to make choices as to what will happen next. Well Choices is that.

What?

So a while back they had a preview for an Austenlike game Desire & Decorum

You know me and anything Austenlike or Austen related:

So as soon as it was avliable I decided to play:

You have the choice of being male or female and name. You can also customize your avatar and purchase extras if you want.

So the story is set in 1816 in the country village of Grovershire, England. You have enjoyed your life there but your mother is very ill, and on her deathbed reveals a secret. You have never known your father, but your mother reveals that he is the Earl of Edgewater, a very wealthy and powerful man. The two were in love, but his family drove them apart-and she went to Grovershire. How do you feel? You make the choice.

With the death of your mother you head to Edgewater and to meet your father and his family. Now this is an interesting concept to go with, being born out of wedlock in 1816-not the best way to be treated.

It was very hard when you were considered an “illegetimate” child. You had no legal right to any inheritance unless “an explicit, specific, uncontested written bequest, and inheriting a title from a parent was rare indeed, though not, as we’ve seen, quite impossible.

Ouch

So you are taken to Edgewater and meet your paternal grandmother the Dowager Countess who is quite spunky. Is she an ally? Or will she try and remove you like your mother was removed?

Hmm…

You also meet Mr. Ernest Sinclaire, master of the nearby Ledford Park. He’s handsome, rich, and also the rude man that almost ran you down on his horse a couple days ago. Yes, you have met him before.

I wonder which Austen hero he will be like? Romantic and wise like Colonel Brandon? Idealistic and does the right thing like Edward Ferrars? Broody and serious Darcy? Playful and stern like Mr. Knightley? Serious like Edmund Bertram? Playful like Mr. Tilney? Passionate like Captain Wentworth?

Hmm…

Or will he be a rogue? Sacrifices love for money like Mr. Willoughby? Selfish and narcissistic like Mr. Wickham? An annoying brown-noser like Mr. Collins? A  cruel social climber like Mr. Elton? Only thinks of himself like Frank Churchill? Manipulative like John Thorpe or Captain Tilney? Plotting and cunning like Mr. Elliot?

Hmm…

But more importantly, what about your father. Will he accept you or reject you?

For more Jane Austen games, go to Jane Austen Manors

For more based on Jane Austen, go to Jane Austen’s Guide to Dating

For more Jane Austen stuff, go to Read Jane Austen, Wear Jane Austen