Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

So I’m sure you all have heard that old joke “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Duh!

Duh!

Well have you ever lived it?

Weird

What?

Yeah, that’s what I thought. Well I’ll get to that in a moment. First we need to go over some backstory.

So in my hometown, years ago, some people released a series of chickens into the city. The group grew each year and now they have taken over an area of the town as their domain. They are in fact protected by the city, and it is now illegal to kill them.

Yeah I don't understand it either

Yeah I don’t understand it either

During my freshman year at college, a rooster wandered on to campus and made it it’s home. Everybody freaked out and tons of people signed a petition trying to get the rooster declared the new school mascot. They were amazed at seeing a rooster living on campus. I don’t see the big ta-do. And I told people, it’s nothing new to me to see a chicken or rooster not on a “farm”, that’s pretty normal.

whatsthedeal

Anyways, as I mentioned these chickens not only took over a section of the city, they actually have become very smart. I am not kidding you, they have figured out how to use the crosswalks.

Say What

Yes I am not kidding you!!! One day my sister Jessica and I were driving somewhere and had to stop for a red light, and a chicken was waiting on the corner. As soon as the hand changed to the walk signal, the chicken crossed the street, remaining in the lines. Crazy, huh?

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

Anyways, so the other day I was driving somewhere and coming up a street to make a right turn. As I drive up, this chicken comes walking through. I figure, hey it’ll keep moving along, but that’s not what happened.

Stupid, stupid

Stupid, stupid

The chicken stopped halfway through crossing the street. I guess it became nervous, because it just started pacing back and forth all flustered.

Of course

Of course

I’m like Chicken move!! I mean this guys are protected I can’t run it over. Besides I would feel really bad if I did. So I’m honking my horn and screaming at this Chicken, which only flusters it more and increases the pacing.

nightmare before christmas nothing turn out like it should

This guy on the corner is watching me and the chicken and just laughing his butt off.

felix_the_cat_laughing

Finally the chicken has  figured out what it wants and continues on it’s way allowing me to continue on mine.

StoryOfMyLifeSomeLikeItHotMarilynMonroe

Yep, just another day.

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For more scenes of my everyday life, go to Just A Moment

Take a Chill Pill John Knightly

Emma (2009)

After having read the novel Emma by Jane Austen, and having seen every film of it that I could get my hands on, I have concluded that Emma and I have a lot of similarities. We are not exactly alike but there are many things that are similar:

  1. John hates Emma
  • Dave hates Me

In the novel Emma’s older sister, Isabella is married to John, Mr. Knightly’s younger brother (I know some people think that is weird but Jane wrote it not me.) Anyways John cannot stand Emma, and Emma cannot stand him.  John is so annoying, he is always having freakout sessions and is such a wet blanket. He has a short temper and always going on and on about things, a real Debbie Downer. John also has such “strong” opinions. Meaning that he won’t listen to what anyone else thinks but has to constantly go on what he feels is right.

Anyways how this relates is that this guy my sister dated, Dave, hated me. And the feeling was mutual. I tried to like and be nice to him, but it was so hard because he is such a controlling guy and not very responsive. I would try to talk to him and get to know him, but he just cut me off or would ignore me.

At first I thought I was imagining he disliked me. I’ll admit I had a few Lizzy Bennet like jealous feelings, I missed hanging out with my sister as she had all her time filled up with being with Dave. I also felt that he was always talking down to me; treating me as a child. (Even though I was older than him.) He tended to act like a know-it-all and so much more superior to me but, I tried to see it his way and thought maybe he was nervous that he was so young and trying to compensate for it by acting older.

Usually I try to avoid Dave so that we do not have any such confrontations. However, I couldn’t get out of it last Saturday, and like John, Dave was a real wet blanket. In every conversation, he had to interrupt me and debase any opinion I had. I made my exit as quick as possible as I couldn’t stay much longer without slicing off his head.

Is this too crazy?

Anyways I was telling my mother what I was feeling about Dave. She thought I might be imagining it. But just like how Emma is reaffirmed by John’s action’s I found out from my sister that, Davedid indeed dislike me (to the extreme). So “no doubting [it I].. have powers of penertration.” (Loosely quoted from Emma).

So for now all I have to say is John take a chill pill and share it with Dave.

*Currently the two are no longer together which is great for me and her. Dave was a loser and she deserves better.

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To read more about Emma go to For a Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic

For more on guys I avoid, go to The Return of the Verne

For more on Emma (2009), go to Part VII: It Was Said One Night

For more on the French Revolution, go to Viva La Révolution

For more Jane Austen heroines, go to Obviously You Never Met George Knightly