Promises Were Made to Be Broken

Now everyone knows that there are three things you should never break:

But I guess not everyone got that memo. Especially one in particular, John Dashwood.

But I am getting ahead of myself, let me back up just a bit.

So when we last left off on Sense and Sensibility, Mr. Henry Dashwood’s rich uncle had died and left his state entailed. That means the money and estate gets passed on only to the male heirs.  When Mr. Henry Dashwood dies everything goes to his son John, leaving his second wife and three daughters out in the cold. Yep, entailment sucks.

But all is not yet lost. Mr. Henry Dashwood is not that old of a man. He is sure to live a long life and squirrel away enough money for his daughters. Everything is going to be just fine.

I know, that’s what you think. Within a year of having the riches, Mr. Henry Dashwood fell gravely ill, and soon death was knocking on his door.

As soon as Henry Dashwood discovers that he has no chance of surviving, he calls his son John for a meeting. He makes John promise to take care of his sisters. And John does promise.

“[John] promised to do every thing in his power to make them comfortable.”

Yeah right.

So John isn’t a complete monster. In fact his biggest fault is that he tends to think of himself more than others. And this would have been easily fixed, if he had married a nice woman. The problem is, he married this.

This horrible, horrible woman.

So John decides to give them £1000 a piece. And that is perfectly generous (he could easily give more). After all, he has the rest of his mother’s fortune, and then he will be given £4000 a year. All is good. Only one problem:

As soon as the body is in the ground, she comes to the house and starts cataloguing everything. And when she heard the plans John had she was like no way!

She thinks that by removing £3000; their boy is going to the poorhouse. So she wheedles John into decreasing that amount.

“[Henry Dashwood] did not know what he was talking of, I dare say, ten to one he was light-headed…”

Unbelievable!

So John  decides that he is giving too much and that he will instead give each sister £500. £1500 in all. It could be better, but at least it’s not nothing. But “Oh too much”, Fanny exclaims again, after all they are only half-siblings. It’s not like they are actually blood.

Did you just say what I think you said?

You girl are horrible and wrong. Half-siblings are real siblings! I know as I have one. It doesn’t change a thing. Fanny you make me so ANGRY!

I feel better now.

Anyways, as I was saying, Fanny thinks the amount is still too much. So John decides again to knock the amount down. Now they get £100. £300! That’s all!?  Come on man. That’s horrid.

And still, this is far too much for Fanny.

“I am convinced within myself that your father had no idea of your giving them any money at all. The assistance he thought of, I dare say, was only such as might be reasonably expected of you; for instance, such as looking out for a comfortable small house for them, helping them move their things, and sending them presents of fish and game…I’ll lay my life he meant nothing farther; indeed, it would be very strange and unreasonable…”

You know that is exactly what the dad wanted. Oh you, you are

Now those girls have hardly anything to live off on. And they will be unable to get married. If you thought the Bennet situation was bad, this one is much, much, much, much, much worse. At least they had a chance to marry off one of their girls to Mr. Collins, but here they have nothing.

Oh that Fanny! Curse You!

Replace Rothbart with Fanny

And you know what, she doesn’t even need it. Not only does John have a ton of money from his mother and now the entailment; but she comes from money too. Her mom’s loaded. And still, she has to begrudge these girls a few dollars.

Just goes to show you:

And that some people do not know how to keep their promises.

For more on Sense and Sensibility, go to A Family Affair

For more on Beauty & the Beast, go to Heaven on Earth

For more great quotes, go to It’s Fantastico! 

A Family Affair

So I already did a post on the opening line of Sense and Sensibility, you should go here if you want to check that out. So Sense and Sensibility is far different from Pride & Prejudice. In Pride & Prejudice we have a basic introduction to the family-5 daughters, and their mother’s need to marry them off.

Sense and Sensibility is a little different.

We get a big family entanglement of who’s who in the family and who’s inheriting. It can be a bit much.

It’s not as bad as Love Actually or He’s Just NOT Into You, but it is pretty knotted. But lucky for you all, that’s what I’m here for. I shall untangle it for you.

So it’s always about the property and land right?

And in this case it’s the same. But the one in question here is Norland Park, belonging to Mr. Dashwood.

Now Mr. Dashwood was a confirmed bachleor, and shared his house with his sister who managed everything for him. Both of them grew older, and Miss Dashwood died. Mr. Dashwood found himself alone and didn’t enjoy it. So he decided to invite his nephew, Mr. Henry Dashwood.

Now Henry is where things become a bit more complicated. Henry has two families.

Now I don’t mean that he was married to two women at the same time, this isn’t Sister Wives. And he wasn’t a conman either. He was a widower who remarried. This might not sound too complicated right now (I mean with how high the divorce rates are today, things are far more complicated,) but it does cause some legal issues I’ll get into later.)

So we have Mr. Dashwood’s first family. This includes his son John, horrible daughter-in-law Fanny,

and awful grandson.

I hate these people. Absolutely HATE THEM.

But more on that later.

And his second family consists of the new Mrs. Dashwood, Elinor, Marianne, and Margaret.

So here we are.

John being older and married was the one that didn’t move into the family homestead. But he and his family visited all the time. The three girls however, joined Old Mr. Dashwood. They take good care of him and greatly amuse him in his old age.

Only one problem.

Ugh

One thing my drama director always told us:

“Never work with kids or animals. They’ll steal the show.”

It’s true. Kids and animals are too cute, and they don’t even try. They’ll do something that will cause all others to be overlooked.

And here it’s no different.

Yes, the little spoiled brat steals away all the love of his grandfather.

“…this child, who, in occasional visits with his father and mother at Norland, had so far gained the affections of his uncle. by such attractions as are by no means unusual in children of two or three years old, an imperfect articulation, an earnest desire of having his own way, many cunning tricks, and a great deal of noise, as to outweigh all the value of all the attention which, for years, he had received from his niece and her daughters.”

Duh!

 

Yep, just another case of those who slaved and cared being pushed aside for something “cuter”.

Ugh

So the old Mr. Dashwood dies. And leaves things unpleasant. He entails all his money and estate to his grandnephew.

Entailment!

Replace Rothbart with entailment

Entailment sucks!!!!!!!

Entailment was something that was done a lot in the 18th-20th centuries. All the money, property, the whole shebang was entailed to the next male heir. So this is good and bad. It means that Henry will have everything, but only for as long as he is alive. When he dies it will be passed on to John, and then to the kid. This means that the female Dashwoods will receive nothing. The old Mr. Dashwood gave them £1000, but that won’t be near enough for them to marry well.

So I’m sure you are wondering about Mr. Henry Dashwood. I mean he doesn’t have to entail his personal money. Or Mrs. Dashwood’s money. Right?

 Well you’re half-right. He wouldn’t have to if he had any. Yep, you see Mr. Dashwood has no money.

He had status and married wealthy. His first wife had a fortune!

Unfortunately, she died.

And left all her money to her only child, John.

When he remarries it’s for love and his second wife is poor. They have only £7000. (I’m not sure if that’s a year or what, but it’s not enough for taking care of his family long-term).

And then he hopes to get the inheritance, but winds up with basically nothing.

To rub salt further in the wound, John doesn’t even need the money. You see John not only has all that dough from his mom, but when he married he increased his net worth tenfold.

Yep, he’s rolling in dough.

So the Dashwoods got the shaft.

But then Henry decides maybe it’s not such a bad thing after all. He is not an old man, he’s still has plenty of years left in him and he could start setting money aside to take care of his family. After all it’s not like he is going to die any day.

For more on Sense and Sensibility, go to A Sense of Sense and Sensibility

For more on the Dashwood family, go to Opening With…

For more on how entailment sucks, go to Fantastic Fantasies

For more on Gone With the Wind, go to At the End of the Rainbow

Just A Moment

So the other day I was doing an interview and afterwards stopped at Del Taco for a drink as I was hot and incredibly thirsty. I wasn’t ready to head home, so I sat for a while in my car reading. I was parked near the door next to a Ducati motorcycle. I just love Ducati‘s, they are just so awesome!

Now I don’t know a lot about motorcycles, but I do know about Ducatis. I read this book series as a kid, and one the characters wanted one. I decided to read more about them, to see what’s so special and I was hooked. Beautiful machines.

So anyways, as I was sitting there this gorgeous, tall, dirty blonde in a leather jacket comes out of the Del Taco.

And I’m thinking, he may not be a Dean Winchester:

But he comes pretty smack close to being perfect.

Ah, so handsome with the best smile. How you may ask? Because I talked to him.

I had parked crooked so I asked him if he could get out alright. He told me he couldn’t that it would be impossible.

Oh no! I can’t believe I did that! I told him I would get out of the way, but he said it was fine. He was just kidding. And then he laid out that snile.

Shot me right through the heart.

After that we flirted a bit and I complimented his Ducati. He was surprised that I knew bikes and impressed. He started on his way, but shot one last smile at me.

After he left I was like why hadn’t I asked for his name! Ugh!

Stupid, stupid

I then had to text my friends and gush over him. Pretty much the same thing I am doing to you all. Their responses were hilarious.

Me: I just talked to the cutest guy. Tall, dirty blonde, black leather jacket, and a Ducati. Swoon! Too bad I didn’t get his name.

Friend 1: Or number, he probably would have given it to you.

Friend 2: What! How could you not? I’m disappointed in you.

Friend 3: Well now how are you going to facebook stalk him?

Oh well. At least I had the moment. And who knows, maybe in the future we’ll meet again. Probably not, but:

For more of my everyday musings, go to The Little Moreland

For more on Dean Winchester, go to The Animal I Have Become

For more on flirting, go to How to Catch a Man 

You Think You Know Something, Don’t You?: Shadow of a Doubt (1943)

“You think you know something, don’t you? You think you’re the clever little girl who knows something. There’s so much you don’t know, so much. What do you know, really? You’re just an ordinary little girl, living in an ordinary little town. You wake up every morning of your life and you know perfectly well that there’s nothing in the world to trouble you. You go through your ordinary little day, and at night you sleep your untroubled ordinary little sleep, filled with peaceful stupid dreams. And I brought you nightmares.”

So for my first Alfred Hitchcock film, I am going to review Shadow of a Doubt. This really surprised me as I never thought this would have been the first, (I was sure it would be Psycho). But I had such an urge to talk about it, that I had to follow it. Now this has never been considered one of Hitchcock’s greats, in fact it bombed at the office, but it was both Alfred Hitchcock’s and Teresa Wright’s favorite film.

I actually have a personal connection to this film myself. I used to go to college near Santa Rosa and one day for film class we were going to watch a psychological film. The one we chose wouldn’t work and I suggested that we had to watch an Alfred Hitchcock film, specifically Shadow of a Doubt. I had this urge and was pushing the film so hard, even though it is not one of my favorite Hitchcock films. It was only when we watched it, that I remembered that it was set and filmed in Santa Rosa. In fact, I have been to all the areas the film was set in.

So the film is supposed to be about a happy town, full of normal American people, but underneath this lies something horrible. This kind of thing was what David Lynch ended up doing and becoming famous for in his film Blue Velvet and TV series Twin Peaks.

So the film starts off with the extremely handsome Joseph Cotten, lying on a bed. His name is Charlie Oakley.

His landlady knocks on the door and tells him that there are two men looking for him. Charlie quickly packs some things up, gathers his money, and takes off. He makes plans to get out of the East coast, going heading to California to visit his sister Emma in Santa Rosa.

In Santa Rosa, we meet Charlie 2 (Teresa Wright), named after her Uncle Charlie. (From now on I’m going to say Charlie for Teresa Wright and Uncle Charlie for Joseph Cotten as otherwise it will be too confusing.) Anyways, Charlie has been complaining that life is boring. Nothing interesting ever happens in life.

She finds out that her Uncle Charlie is coming and is ecstatic. The two of them have always shared a special bond. Out of everyone in their family, she feels that Charlie is the only one who really gets her.

Uncle Charlie greets the family and not only bring life into the house but gifts. Charlie gets the most special gift of all, an emerald ring. Charlie notices an engraving of initials on the inside and asks Uncle Charlie what they stand for. He doesn’t know and blames the jeweler for selling him an old ring instead of a new one.

Sound suspicious

He keeps trying to push Charlie to let him get it re-engraved, but she refuses. At dinner, Emma is humming this song. It has been stuck in her head all day and she can’t remember what it is called. She asks around to everyone else, and her husband Joseph says that it is The Merry Widow Waltz. When Uncle Charlie hears this, he is startled and spills his wine.

After dinner, Joseph’s friend comes over. Now this is an interesting subplot. The two of them are huge mystery fans and are constantly trying to create the perfect murder. This subplot always makes me laugh and it reminds me of a friend and I. We are always talking about the best way to kill someone and get away with it. I always go with the Secret Window way.

“Joseph Newton: We’re not talking about killing people. Herb’s talking about killing me and I’m talking about killing him.”

In fact, they remind me of Randy from Scream except with actual murders, than horror films.

They determine one of the best ways to kill someone is to disguise the murder as a suicide.

The next day, Uncle Charlie is reading the paper, when he sees a story that upsets him. He rips the page with the story on it, and turns it into a house for the kids, hiding the ripped story in his pocket. Ann and Roger think it’s are cool, but they have to dismantle it as their father hasn’t had a chance to look at the paper.

Charlie saw him hiding the torn pages and starts teasing her Uncle. She grabs them out of his pocket and tries to put them together. But before she can, Uncle Charlie gets angry and pushes her away. She becomes frightened, but Uncle Charlie consoles her,  telling her that it was a bad story about a friend.

Soon after, two men approach the family and let them know they have been chosen to be the feature family for a census agency on “typical American family-ness”. They will be coming to interview them and photograph their average lives.

Emma is really excited as Uncle Charlie will now be a part of the featured story. She tells Charlie about how she only has one photo of him. It was when he was a little boy, before he got in a horrible accident. After he recovered from the accident he never was the same again. Often getting into trouble.

Uncle Charlie says he will be staying in town for a while, and then begins acting strangely. At the bank he deposits forty thousand dollars in cash and makes all these jokes about the bank and Joseph (Charlie’s dad) embezzling funds. He also extremely avoids the census takers. He thinks they are up to something. Whenever they come to the house, he always leaves and won’t answer any questions.

When his picture gets taken, he becomes extremely angry and demands for the negative roll.

The younger of the two census workers, (Macdonald Carey), asks Charlie to be his guide of the town, and she agrees only to please her mother. When he gets her alone he tells her that he isn’t a census taker, but that instead he is Detective Jack Graham and that he is with the FBI. They are investigating “The Merry Widow Murderer”, a man who romances widows and murders them taking their money. He tells her that that they have two suspects. One of which is her Uncle Charlie.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

The next day Charlie is still reeling from the news and sleeps all day. She doesn’t want to believe her Uncle Charlie is capable of murder. However, she can’t help thinking about his suspicious behavior.

Sound suspicious

Charlie gets even more freaked out when Uncle Charlie gives a rant on widows.

“Uncle Charlie: The cities are full of women, middle-aged widows, husbands, dead, husbands who’ve spent their lives making fortunes, working and working. And then they die and leave their money to their wives, their silly wives. And what do the wives do, these useless women? You see them in the hotels, the best hotels, every day by the thousands, drinking the money, eating the money, losing the money at bridge, playing all day and all night, smelling of money, proud of their jewelry but of nothing else, horrible, faded, fat, greedy women… Are they human or are they fat, wheezing animals, hmm? And what happens to animals when they get too fat and too old?”

Charlie suffers a breakdown as she can’t handle the thought that her Uncle is a murderer. That coupled with her father and Herb’s constant murder talk, ugh she just needs to get away. Uncle Charlie follows her and takes her to a bar to talk.

At the bar, he confronts her suspicions and tells her that he is considered for “The Merry Widow Murderer”, but it isn’t him. It is just a coincidence.

Yes I am

Charlie listens, but something doesn’t sit right with her. She still feels suspicious. She sneaks into Uncle Charlie’s room to try and figure out what article he had ripped up.

She can’t put the pieces back together, and instead heads to the library. She convinces the librarian to let her search the papers and discovers that “The Merry Widow Murderer” killed a famous entertainer. She notices that the initials of the woman match the ring Uncle Charlie gave her.

She goes to her uncle to confront him, and he asks her not to say anything. She agrees to wait as she knows it will hurt her mother.

Meanwhile, Jack is pushing Charlie to give him info on her Uncle, but she won’t say a thing. They sent the photo of Uncle Charlie back East but haven’t heard whether or not he is the guy the are actually after. The other suspect they were considering was killed fleeing from the police and many believe he is the murderer.

After this news, Jack goes to Charlie and tells her that he likes her. And that he would like to date her, maybe even marry her one day.

I know. He has been nice, but he never even seemed to show that he was that interested in her. He totally pulls a Mr. Darcy, completely dropping that bomb out of the blue.

Uncle Charlie is all smiles and it seems like everything is fine, but Charlie can’t shake an uneasy feeling.

This doesn’t feel right.

Soon Charlie suffers from an accident. As she is coming down the stairs one of the steps falls through causing her to fall. She checks later but can’t tell of any tampering.

Oh what a horrible accident.

Now these are some of the best scenes in the film. In the beginning you aren’t sure if Uncle Charlie is doing anything, whether they are accidents or not. I mean could he really be so cold-blooded as to kill his own niece?

Uncle Charlie is asked to give a public lecture and the whole family is going to go hear him speak. There isn’t enough room for them to go in one car, so they decide to send most in a taxi, with the Charlies going in the car. Charlie gets trapped in her garage with the car going. She calls for help, but the music Uncle Charlie is playing overpowers her screams.

Luckily, Herb is coming by as he does everyday and hears her, freeing her.

The next day, Uncle Charlie decides that he is leaving. Everyone but Charlie is sad to see him go. As he gets on the train we see that he won’t be traveling alone, but a rich widow from the town. Every one comes on board to check out the train, with Uncle Charlie gets Charlie to stay longer to talk. The train starts going while she is on it. She tries to run off, but Uncle Charlie tries to push her off the train onto the track of an oncoming one.

The two struggle and Charlie manages to overpower him, knocking him off the train.

There is a funeral for Uncle Charlie and Jack comes back. Charlie tells him the truth and why she kept it hidden from him. Together they resolve to keep Uncle Charlie’s crimes a secret.

You have to see this film. The story is great, the acting amazing, and the cinematography is just beautiful.

 

 

To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

For the previous post, go to It’s Happening Again, Isn’t It?

For more on Alfred Hitchcock, go to Horrorfest III: The Revenge

For more classic cinema, go to Feast Your Eyes On My Accursed Ugliness

For more serial killers, go to What’s Your Favorite Scary Movie?

For more psychological thrillers, go to A Deliciously Creepy Tale

For more of my favorite quotes, go to Happily Ever Aftermath

For more on Twin Peaks, go to Food, Food, Food!

This Isn’t Love, This is Ecstasy: Flintstones Viva Rock Vegas (2000)

Romantic Moment #10

Flintstones Viva Rock Vegas (2000)

So this is the prequel to the film The Flintstones, but it is a much, much better film. First of all the storyline is better, much, much, much better. And even though I love John Goodman, Mark Addy is a much better Fred. Rosie O’Donnell sucked as Betty. But most all, it has Thomas Gibson in it.

So Handsome!!!

Sorry, I’m sorry. I just had to take a moment there. Back on track now! Uh, where was I? Oh yeah, this is much better than the first film.

So Wilma Slaghoople has had enough of her rich lifestyle. She is tired of friends who don’t care about her. Tired of people who can’t think beyond what’s in vogue, etc. Tired of Chip Rockefeller who’s only interested in her wealth. She escapes from her mansion and travels down to the town below, where the “common, everyday” people live. She stops at a burger joint and meets Betty O’Shale. Betty thinks she is poor and caveless, and not only invites her to live in her home but gets her a job as well at the diner.

Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble are best friends and roommates. The two have just passed their exams and are now certified Bronto Crane Operators. They go out to think about their lives, Fred expressing how he wants someone special to spend it with, when they meet the Great Gazoo, an alien banished to Earth to observe the dating rituals of man.

One day Fred and Barney go out to a burger joint and meet Betty. Fred picks her up and procures Wilma for Barney. They go out to an amusement park, but there Barney and Betty feel an instant connection and go off together. Fred is upset at first with being placed with Wilma, but after their bowling game they connect and start falling for each other. Fred also wins Dino for being such a great bowler. Soon the four (and the two couples separately) are spending all their time together, falling in love.

Wilma’s mom has tracked her down and tries to get her back, but Wilma won’t go as her mom is cold-hearted and looks down on her friends. Her mom convinces her to come to her father’s birthday party, she agrees if she can bring her friends. The next day they are shocked by how wealthy she is, Betty hurt at how Wilma lied to her. Fred was going to ask her to marry him, but after this he feels as if he doesn’t have enough to offer her. Wilma is mad at how her mother treats her friends, and storms out. Chip tries to make it up to her and invites them all down to his casino in Rock Vegas.

There we see Chip’s evil plan. He owes money to mobsters and is trying to get Wilma to marry him so that he can pay them back. He gets Fred gambling so that he will not only miss out on dates with Wilma, making her feel like crap, but so that he can hold onto Fred’s debts as a way to get rid of him. He takes Barney out of the equation by getting his girlfriend Roxie, to take him to an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet. Betty sees them and thinks Barney is stepping out on her, taking up with Mick Jaggerd (supposed to be Mick Jagger). Wilma is pissed off with Fred for being so wrapped up in money that she breaks up with him. Fred thinks he can win her back by getting more money, but Chip makes him lose everything. Chip takes Wilma’s pearls out of the hotel safe and plants them on Fred, imprisoning him and Barney. There the two meet up with Gazoo and escape. To avoid detection they dress up as girls, sneaking into Jaggered’s room. Jaggered and Barney get in a fight over Betty, with Barney knocking him out. Fred gets out and tells Wilma that he loves her. The two get married and as you know  have a yabba dabba doo time, a dabba doo time, they have a gay old time.

Most Romantic Moment:

So after Fred’s been imprisoned and escaped, his options are limited as to what he can do. After all, the hotel security is looking for him and will jump at the chance to take him down. But Fred really wants to get out there and tell Wilma how he feels, he can’t lose her. So when Barney knocks out Mick Jaggered, Fred does the only thing that comes to mind. He gets out on that stage and sings to her.

So romantic!

I know! So romantic!! A girl loves being serenaded to! And it’s not just the singing its the song itself! He picks Wilma’s favorite song, he sings their song! I absolutely LOVE this song, I think it is one of the most romantic ones out there. I mean just read it.

This isn’t love, this is ecstasy
Somehow I knew you would come to me
I’ve just been waiting for you to come
Into my life this way
Now here you’ll stay

This isn’t love, this is destiny
Somewhere above this was planned for me
Life had no meaning, I never knew what
Til the dream came true
The dream is you

I never say never
But this love won’t ever be over 
Together we’ll share love wherever we go

This isn’t chance, this was meant to be
I knew I’d find you eventually
Nothing else matters, As long as I know
You will always be so close to me

I never say never
But this love won’t ever be over
Together we’ll share love wherever we go

This isn’t chance
This was meant to be
I knew I’d find you eventually

Nothing else matters
As long as I know
You will always be so close to me

I never say never
I never say never
I never say never
I never say never
I never say never

Isn’t just dreamy and perfect!! Serenading, their song, it is just dripping in romance. Sorry about the low quality, it is the only one I could find.