Book Club Picks: The Mother Keeper

So as you all know I started a book club, because you know me and books…

Every month we read a book and I do a little post on the book we read and discussed. What can I say, I just love books.

There is no theme, other than with each month, a different member gets to pick a book, whichever one they want. This time the book club member chose:

The Mother Keeper by Paula Scott

So in my last book club book review I had chosen The Far Side of the Sea by Paula Scott and our book club actually got to meet her!

Afterwards, we all started following her on instagram, facebook, etc. One book club member spotted this on facebook and afterwards wanted to read it.

Paula Scott told us that she started writing this years ago and tucked it away, bringing it out later when her daughters wanted a romance as she wouldn’t let them read Twilight (thank goodness).

She tweaked it here and there and rewrote it-this being the finishing product.

Jenny McBride and her husband Kevin, live in Colorado, are celebrating New Year’s Eve and ecstatic for their pregnancy. They can’t wait or the baby, dreaming of all the things they would like to do.

Both are Christians and strong leaders in their church. That night Kevin had a drink, something Jenny does not approve of, and she insists on driving them home in the snow. A car comes careening their way, and crashes into them. Jenny loses her uterus, Kevin his leg, and both their baby.

Nooooooooooooooo

Jenny can’t believe this happened to her, her whole life she has been a good Christian and this is what happens to her? She is hurt, depressed, and angry.

Noooo!

Meanwhile, in the country areas of Tennessee, teenagers Ellie Ryan and her boyfriend are making plans for the future. Jamie is a big football star and will get a scholarship, while Ellie can get one with her amazing grades. However, there is one wrinkle-Ellie is pregnant.

That is not good,

She doesn’t tell her boyfriend, she just breaks up with him. She then heads to the pregnancy crisis center where her sister had gotten an abortion before she took off to California. Ellie hasn’t heard from her since.

At the center, Ellie meets Patsy Klein, a pastor’s wife, who invites her to come stay with her and take part in their church’s Mother Keeper program. The Mother Keeper program, is when a family takes in a pregnant teen and helps take care of her until she has the baby. Sometimes they adopt the baby, help arrange adoptions, or just help them until they can figure out their next step. They pay the food and medical bills through church funding/fundraising.

Ellie stays with Pastor Klein, Patsy, and their three boys-Shawn, Seth, and Stephen. For Ellie, this a dream come true as she is finally part a perfect family.

Shawn is upset when he hears that a pregnant girl from Sutterville-Sucksville-is going to be living with  them. He has enough on his plate with football, a scholarship to Vanderbilt, his beautiful girlfriend Jill who desires him. But meeting Ellie and spending time with her-Shawn realizes that the life he has been living isn’t what he wants at all, but what does he want? Now, he doesn’t know.

Hmmm….I need to rethink my life’s choices

As Shawn and Ellie grow closer, Shawn wants to marry her and raise the baby together. But the assistant pastor contacts his sister Jenny, she having gone through a spiritual battle and grief, is ready to adopt-Ellie’s baby. What will Ellie decide?

Many more decisions will be made as secrets are brought out in the open: a secret affair, true parentage revealed, murder, rape, and a fight over who will adopt Ellie’s baby.

Wow!

This was a a fantastic story and a real page turner. Paula Scott doesn’t pull way from anything, but hits the truth hard.

What?

It’s funny because it certain characters reminded me of ones from Desperate Pastor Wives and The MasterpieceThat was completely unplanned by us. In DPW, Jennifer Shores too has lost a baby, and becomes angry with God; having to go through her journey, getting close to God, and figuring what is next in the future. In The Masterpiece, Grace Moore is kept by a family until she has her child, and goes through a similar battle over who will adopt her child, along with having family issues she has to work through.

It was a fantastic book, and I strongly recommend it.

For more Book Club Picks, go to Book Club Picks: Far Side of the Sea

For more by Paula Scott, go to Book Club Picks: Until the Day Breaks

For more Christian novels, go to Book Club Picks: Desperate Pastors’ Wives

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It’s A Hard World: Backfire (1950)

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“You’re amusing, Mr. Connolly… and hard. 

It’s a hard world.”

So like Dial 1119 (1950), this film came on the Film Noir Classic Collection, Volume 5.  Out of all the films on this set this seems to be the one everyone dislikes the most.

Whattheheck

To be honest, I just don’t get it.

Who knows!

I didn’t think it was as horrible as everyone else said. In fact I thought it was pretty good and I enjoyed it.

I like it.

I like it.

One of the reasons why many people don’t like this is because it is a bit unusual. This postwar film was written to show the hardships about G.I.s coming back into civilian life, trying to find work, etc; kind of like The Best Years of Our Lives. However the project was pushed back two years, being premiered in 1950; where that type of story wasn’t as popular. Too much and too little time had past.

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The film is also set at Christmas, being a Christmas Noir film like Lady in the Lakeand not something a lot of people enjoyed. It is supposed to be a juxtaposition between the “happiest time of the year” fused with the dark underbelly; and while you think that would be a winner, not a lot of people like it.

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Also at this time, studio’s owned actors and actress. This meant that as an employee they couldn’t just make whatever film they wanted to, it was the decision of the head of the studio; however on the flip side they always got paid whether they were in a film or not. These actors were Edmond O’Brien, Virginia Mayo, Dane Clark, Viveca Lindfors and Richard Rober.

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So let’s talk a look shall we?

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So the film starts out with WWII veteran, Bob Corey (Gordon MacRae) recuperating in a hospital in the LA area. They never say exactly what happened but he has been undergoing several operations and had some severe psychological trauma.

Aw, man.

Aw, man.

He and his friend Steve Connolly (Edmond O’ Brien) met in the war and planned on going to California, buying a ranch, and living their days there. That was before Bob had his accident. Steve comes to visit him at the hospital, suggesting they use their money to buy a gas station while they are waiting for Bob to recover, as who knows how long it will take.

Hmm...

Hmm…

Bob says no, and Steve says fine he will try to find some other work. He tells Bob he’ll be back in a few days. But that is the last Bob hears of him.

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Bob has been worried about Steve, and his nurse and girlfriend, Julie Bensen (Virginia Mayo) tries to get him not to worry, but he just can’t stop.

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He has ten days left, and after he receives his clean bill of health he will be out searching for him.

That night he is asleep when he is visited by an Austrian beauty, Lysa (Viveca Lindfors). She tells him she is a friend of Steve’s and that he is in horrible pain. Should she end it or have him keep fighting. Bob says to wait, he will be out in ten days and can help then. The next morning, Bob can’t tell if it was real, or all a dream?

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On New Year’s Eve, Bob is finally released. He says good-bye to Julie as he is out to search for Steve. He hasn’t gone far when he is stopped by Captain Garcia. It turns out that Steve is wanted as he is a suspect in a murder.

Steve? A murderer?

Steve? A murderer?

It turns out that before the war Steve was involved in all kinds of underhanded things and has quite the reputation. Sully Blayne, racketeer, was murdered, shot to death.

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They think Steve is guilty, but Bob is certain that Steve wouldn’t do such a thing.

Now the film is told in the present time, with a series of flashbacks. We see Sully being killed, but the angle and lighting make it impossible for us to see who the killer is.

#4

Victim #1

Could it be Steve?

suspicious Hmm

Bob is intent on finding out what happened.

On the case

On the case

He moves into the room Steve was staying and interviews the cleaning lady. She has a flashback about how Sully would comes to see Steve many times. She gives him a card that Steve dropped. It is for a mortician.

OMG gasp

Bob heads out to the funeral home and it turns out to be Ben Arno, his old military buddy. Bob is a little weird out about the “dead” thing, but when Ben couldn’t open a nightclub, too much red tape and the bank’s didn’t feel he was a safe investment, he decided to take another route. After all:

And taxes

And taxes

We flashback to when Arno bumped into Steve. He went to a boxing match and found Steve there getting pummeled.

ouch Hermione

After the show he goes to speak to him, and finds out that Steve is getting paid good money to lose the match every day. Arno gives him is card and tries to get him to work for him, but Steve is also creeped out and says no. And that is the last Arno saw of him.

Bob goes back to the hotel and takes care of Steve’s charges that he “ran out on”. One was a phone call, and he takes the number. When he calls he reaches a women at the end and pretends to be Steve and finds out about Steve’s girlfriend Lyssa Radoff. He gets her address and heads to the house.

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When he gets there he finds a note about the key, discovers its hiding place and waits. Lyssa doesn’t come, but her roommate, Bonnie, does. Bonnie tells them how Steve and Lisa first met.

Lyssa is Lou Walsh’s woman, even though she doesn’t love him.

Hate YOu

Part of her duties are singing in his club. Steve left boxing to work for Lou Walsh and as his gofer, he has to fetch Lyssa to take her to his private residence. Unlike Walsh’s other men, Steve is always polite and treats all the women (call girls) right. Lyssa begins to fall in love with Steve, and he with her.

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Bonnie starts to question Bob, and when she leaves to make coffee, Bob runs out. Shortly after Bonnie is shot, murdered by the unseen Walsh.

#4

Victim #2

Captain Garcia brings Bob and Julie in, claiming that they are messing up the investigation. He blames Bob for Bonnie’s death, telling him he should have called and given  him the phone number instead of leading the killer right to her.

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Before Garcia could continue his wringing out, they receive a call about Walsh’s wounded butler, Quong. Quong claims that he has information on Steve’s whereabouts, and everyone runs out to see him. Quong is suffering from a bullet wound, but starts to give his testimony in another flashback.

Quong didn’t buttle for Walsh, but his girl Lyssa, in the extravagant home that Walsh bought her. To keep her safe and from any other men, Walsh instituted Steve as Lyssa’s bodyguard. But this caused the two’s love to grow and grow.

Especially when you fall for a mobster's girl.

Especially when you fall for a mobster’s girl.

After Sully was killed, Walsh told them both to remain in Lyssa’s house as they would be safe there. That night Lyssa and Steve declared their love, planning on running away together. Steve leaves to go tell Walsh and he owes him for all the help he has given  him. However, unbeknownst to them, Walsh heard everything and released the parking brake, so that it rolls down  and crushes Steve.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Walsh calls a doctor to come visit and care for Steve.

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Quong was shot by Walsh, as he knew too much. The police try to get an address out of him, but it is too late. He’s dead.

#4

Victim #3

Afterwards Bob and Julie are talking about what they found out when Bob wonders why Walsh would call a doctor when he wanted Steve dead. Julie points out that he did it for Lyssa, who thought it was an accident and not attempted murder. Julie then gets an idea and calls Mrs. Blayne, Sully’s wife, to see what doctor came to check on him. She tells Julie that it is Dr. Herbert Anstead.

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Julie goes off in her nurse’s uniform and breaks into the office by telling the janitor that she is one of Anstead’s nurses. While there Anstead returns and Julie has to hide from him. Anstead is about to destroy Steve’s file, when he is interrupted by the janitor asking when he and the nurse are leaving.

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Anstead tries to find the nurse, while Julie attempts to smuggle out the file. Unfortunately she is caught by Andstead. Julie yells at Anstead telling him he will become an accessory to murder and Anstead shocked at this, locks Julie in the closet and calls Bob to let him know where Steve is. But Anstead is interrupted by Walsh, and killed.

#4

#4

Man bodies are dropping everywhere. In the words of Angels with Filthy Souls:

Don’t gimme that! You’ve been killin’ everybody! Sully, Bonnie, Quong, etc.

Bob rushes over to the address. Meanwhile Julie is let out by the janitor and calls the police, relaying the murder and the address.

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When Bob reaches the house he finds Walsh and it is none other than his old pal……………………….

Get it together!

Get it together!

Steve.

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Just kidding

So obs

So obs

It is Ben Arno.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

Ben couldn’t have the nightclub as Ben, so instead he led this double life of Lou Walsh. Steve was boxing because he owed Sully money, Ben paid him off and gave him a job for him.

Bob is trying to find Steve, but Ben doesn’t believe him. He thinks that he is in love with Lyssa and trying to get her.

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Ben is obsessed with Lyssa and can be the only one who has her. He did everything he could to make her happy; clothes, jewelry, house, etc. But Lyssa doesn’t love him.

HateYou

On the night he injured Steve, he called the doctor to save him for Lyssa, as Lyssa thought it was an accident. However, when she found out there was nothing wrong with the brakes on her car she wanted to leave. But Arno didn’t want her to go and strangles her.

How quickly love turns to hate.

How quickly love turns to hate.

They say “love” can quickly turn to obsession, and when one is obsessed they will do all they can to have that person. Even kill them.

#4

Bob asks why he didn’t just kill Steve as that is the one he doesn’t like, but Arno couldn’t have him be a martyr and he needed someone to talk to about Lyssa.  Everyone else was dead. Steve doesn’t know that he killed her, he thinks she just ran off on them.

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While they are talking, Steve has very slowly walked down the stairs as his body is covered in braces. Arno is about to shoot Bob, and Steve jumps on him, saving him just in time.

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Arno gets up and Bob tells him the police are almost there, and we can currently hear the sirens. Arno tries to make a break for it, but is killed. Pretty high body count…

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In the next scene we see that Steve is alive and has recovered. He is leaving the same hospital that Bob was at. Bob and Julie pick him up and take him to their new ranch, Happy Ranch.

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I liked it. I wasn’t quite sure who Walsh was but I never thought it would be the mortician. That was a good twist.

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I liked how the theme of “backfire” played well into the character of Steve. He was always trying ti do something good and it backfired. I liked the actors, and I didn’t mind the flashbacks. I thought it was very well done.

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Plus I thought the filming was done very well. We have some great angles when hiding the identity of the killer, the shadows on the wall instead of the characters, the scene when Julie is looking for case, etc.

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It was some good watching.

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To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to Heroes are Not Born, They’re Created: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

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For more on the Film Noir Classic Collection Volume 5, The Mad Killer: Dial 1119 (1950)

For more films told in flashbacks, go to What Have We Done to Each Other?: Gone Girl (2014)
For more Jean Froissant, go to Dreaming of the Sandman

We’re in the Future: Good-bye 2015

So you all know what I think of 2015

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I decided that as I started my year with:

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it was only fitting that after I ended my year with Back to the Future as well.

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So in ending 2015, I decided that I’m going to list everything that Back to the Future II (BTTF II) got right about 2015

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Other Fuel

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So while we don’t fly in our cars or through space yet, (Yet I say, yet) there is another method of fuel that has there is another method of fuel besides gas that is gaining popularity, electric cars. Not popular you say? Do you remember when I wrote a post on my car breaking down in San Francisco and we couldn’t find a single parking spot as all were reserved for electric cars? I’m telling you, they are really pushing those things.

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Weather Watch

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While in BTTF II future, we actually control the weather, which of course is not happening now, there are two things that BTTD II was spot on about. First, that we would be able to get weather information instantaneous (which we do on the internet/phones) and that we could actually get that information from our watches.

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Laserdisc Losers

Record not a laserdisc, I know.

Record not a laserdisc, I know.

When Marty and Doc first settle down the alley in the future you can see a bunch of laserdiscs wrapped up and ready to picked up by the trash men. Back in the ’80s, laserdisc weren’t super popular, but still seen as the way of the future. However, BTTF II knew they wouldn’t go far and now most of the people alive today have no clue what they are.

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Self-Lacing Nike Shoes

One of those self-fulling prophecy’s. Nike saw it and decided to make it.

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2015 Fashion

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I was going to make these all separate, but decided it would be easier to put them all together.

*One Size Fits All*

While we don’t have the awesomeness of buying clothes and pulling just one tab to make it fit us perfecctly, BTTF II did get one thing right; the one-size-fits all craze. Now I don’t know how popular this was in the ’80s, but in today’s world it has become a thing.

*Caps Lock*

Now what is it called when you do something before it was cool, in a future before it happened? I don’t know, but that rainbow dipped cap Marty wears in 2015, it is something you see in stores today, that the hipsters would be wearing all over. If you took that and added a triangle or a quote, someone would even use it as their phone’s wallpaper

*Workout Wear as Regular Clothes*

Everywhere you look in this film people are wearing workout wear as they do their regular thing. This was happening in the ’80s, but not by people of all ages like today. Yep, from older men and women; to middle aged mothers, teens, preteens, and kids; wearing workout wear when you have intention of actually working out has become a thing. It is acceptable and BTTF II caught onto it way before we thought it was okay.

*Eye Makeup*

BTTF II really tried to go spacey on their mkeup, but they actually hit the nail on the head. For some reason I am signed up for Teen Vogue, and what they keep perpetuating is crazy makeup.

*Two Tone **

One of Griff’s gang sports a highlighted pompadour, something all the guys are doing these days.

*Studded Out Shoes*

Biff wears them in BTTF II, and today you go anywhere and it is like studzilla. 

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Endless Remakes/Sequels

Bad Sequels psycho-1960-alfred-hitchcock-janet-leigh-pic-21

While remakes and sequels were happening in the ’80s it was nothing like it is today. I mean look at the Spider-man series; made in the 2000s, remade in 2010s, going to be remade again?

Or what about the Halloween series? There is like 9 already! Or Friday the 13th

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Annoying Ads & Persevering Pop Ups

So as Marty is walking along, everywhere he goes ads appear; Jaws 19, Vote For Mayor, etc. Sound familiar? It seems like today we are being constantly hit by them; going beyond TV and radio, to the internet, youtube, and even Amazon.

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I Love the ’80s

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When Marty steps into the Cafe ’80s he sees a palozza of ’80s love, which has defintely been going on today. Part of it has to do with the fact that 1985 turned 30 this year, but the 2015 has had some serious ’80s love in film; fashion, & more; it is clear we are just as gaga as they thought we would be. Although no Cafe ’80s yet, sadly.

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“You Have To Use Your Hands”

BTTF II called it when they said 2015 would be  world in which you didn’t have to use your hands to play video games. While some still require it, BTTF II dreamed up the Wii and Kinect long before those companies did.

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Hoverboards

Hoverboards

While they aren’t really like the ones in the film, more along the lines of a skateboard, we still technically have them. For me, https://www.youtube.com/embed/vbOWr7y0cT4” target=”_blank”>I’m waiting until we actually levitate.

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News in a Nanosecond

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When Griff & Gang crash into the clock tower, you see a flying computer with the words USA Today on the side that captures the event. Boy was that prophetic! First today most newspapers aren’t run as they used to. They don’t have as many reporters, choosing to pay for the associated press and get their stories that way, outmoding people. Also news is now instantaneous. Things happen, and they are posted on the web, pics and videos. Also computers are the way most get their news, a lot of papers don’t hand out physical copies as much as they used to.

Not to mention that with vlogging and blogging, the news is taking a very different form.

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Books No Longer Paper

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So when Marty purchases the almanac in order to place all those bets, the saeslady mentions “back when books were printed on paper.” Now it is true that in almost every science fiction book or film you read/see, they get rid of paper books, it still is eerily to see them talk about it, knowing that in 2015 books will be available in another format.

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A Delorean? Haven’t Seen One of Those In…

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Sadly the Delorean went out of business in the early ’80s, before this film was made. And because of that, you didn’t see them anywhere. However, in the ’90s the DeLorean company was made to bring it back, but it still is a rare sight.

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Check Out the Telly

Ringu Watch TV

Let’s talk about the TV they show in BTTF II. First did you notice they have large flat screen TVs that you in today’s stores? Yep, back in the day of the bulky square TVs, BTTF II saw a thiner, wider, version coming along the horizon.

They have the ability to watch relaxing scenes of scenery, just like you can today. Think of Netflix’s Christmas log/fireplace.

They also have the ability to watch six different channels/screen at once. Just like Direct TV is always showing in their ads.

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Google Glasses

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At the table eating, you’ll see that both Marty Jr. and Marlene both have glasses that give them the ability to search the web, receive phone calls, and they have to do voice commands. Sound like anything you’ve heard of? Like Google Glasses.

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Phone More Interesting Than People

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When you watch the film you’ll see that as the McFly clan gathers around to eat their rehydrated pizza, the kids are all focused on their google glasses not caring about actually conversing with anyone. The only ones who are talking, are those that were young in the ’50s and ’80s, the older generation. Sound familiar? I see that everyday.

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Skype You Later

While it is true that most future films, books, and TV shows tend to have these kind of communication; BTTF II was spot on when it said we would have the technology to communicate with people face to face when we call. Whether you use Skype, Facetime, Snapchat, etc.; BTTF II knew what was what.

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For me 2015 was a great year as I was finally able to live one of my dreams, see all three Back to the Futures on the big screen. But whether it was all that you wished or not exactly a dream year, I wish you all a happy new year, and may this one be a great new start!

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Back to the Future

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For more on Back to the Future, go to Back to the Supernatural

For more on 2015, go to Where We’re Going, We Don’t Need Roads

I Carry You With Me Wherever I Go: New Year’s Eve (2011)

Most Romantic Moment #11
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New Year’s Eve (2011)

So this is another one of those movies that is like a Jane Austen book, in how you have all these different characters and story lines, but in the end they all link together somehow.

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Yep, just like He’s Just NOT That Into You or Love Actually it is one tangled web.

The film follows many people all trying to accomplish something on New Years Eve. Paul (Zac Efron) has been hired by Ingrid (Michelle Pfeiffer) to help her achieve all her New Year’s resolutions. Ingrid has recently quit her job at Ahern music company, but still has four tickets to their amazing party, which she will give Paul, if he completes everything.

Mrs. Rose Ahern is the matriarch of the industry and is trying to pull of a phenomenal party. She has hired Chef Laura (Katherine Heigl)  to cater the event, and Laura is determined to make a name for herself and get more clients. Only problem is, her ex-fiance, rock star, Jensen (Jon Bon Jovi) who broke her heart, is headlining the event and trying to get them back together.

Hailey (Abigal Breslin) has a huge crush on  guy in her class, Seth (Jake T. Austin), and escapes from her mom to spend New Year’s Eve with him in Times’ Square. Kim (Sarah Jessica Parker) is upset as she wanted to spend the evening with her, and has to get her brother, Paul, to help her find her daughter.

Claire Morgan (Hilary Swank) as always loved watching the ball drop on New Year’s Eve. This year she is in charge of the whole event, and when the ball has some mechanical difficulties, she has to figure out how to get it rollin’.

Couldn't resist

Couldn’t resist

Randy (Ashton Kutcher), Paul’s roommate, hates New Year’s Eve, ever since a girl broke his heart. He was going to spend the night wallowing in pity, but ends up getting stuck in an elevator with Elise (Lea Michelle), Jensen’s back-up singer. Through spending time with her, he starts moving past his broken heart and learning to love again.

Tess (Jessica Biel) and Griffen Byrne (Seth Mayer) are competing with another family to have the first baby of the new year and win $25,000. Also at the hospital is Stan (Robert De Niro) who is dying of cancer and trying to make it to midnight. Nurse Amy (Halle Berry) is caring for him.

Sam Ahern (Josh Duhamel) is stuck in Conneticut, having been best man for his friend’s wedding. He hitches a ride with the local minister trying to get to New York so he can deliver a speech and meet up with a women he met on New Year’s Eve of the year before.

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*****Most Romantic Moment******

So the thread I’m going to focus on is that of Sam Ahern. So here we have the very rich, handsome, suave, charming Sam Ahern; who could get any woman he’s ever wanted. I mean he’s played by Josh Duhamel!

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Anyways, so even though he wants to get back to New York to give his speech, he has an even more important reason. Last year he had to give a speech at the company party and was super nervous, so he ducked out to grab a slice of pizza and relax. While he was there he met a girl and had an amazing night just talking and hanging out with her. He left for the bathroom, and when he got back to the table she was gone, but she had left a note asking him to meet her at the same place, same time, next year. Sam has no other way of finding her as she never gave him her name.

So fast forward the year, and here is Sam hanging with the minister’s family and telling them the story of what had happened. As he tells the family the story of what occurs, he pulls the note out of his wallet, laminated.

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That’s right folks, not only has he been carrying her note around for A WHOLE year, BUT he had it laminated. Yes he knew he would be constantly taking it out and looking at that he had to have it on him at all times and have it protected.

So romantic!

So romantic!

How can you not be swayed by that. Sooooooooooooooo romantic!!!! I know to others it might not seem like much, but like I said, I find it incredibly romantic!

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To start Romance is in the Air: Part III, go to I Can See Your Beauty: The Breakfast Club (1985)

For the previous post, go to Marry Me: Gigi (1958)

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For more on Josh Duhamel, go to A Fantabulous Post

The End by Silverstein

Please keep reading, you won;t be disappointed,

Please keep reading, you won;t be disappointed,

Silverstein The End

2) The End by Silverstein

So if you remember from my earlier post If It Means A Lot to You, I am doing a countdown of my favorite heartbreak songs to help one get over a break up. Now I did do an earlier post on this song when Michael and I broke up back in December, The End, but I only briefly talked about it. The album A Shipwreck in the Sand is kind of depressing, but still good:

still good

The album details the story of a guy who is cheated on by his girlfriend. To make it even worse, its not just any guy but his best friend. He eventually goes crazy and sets his house on fire, very Secret Window-esque. Even though they broke his trust he still loves his best friend and girlfriend still so he ends up saving them from the fire, but still goes to court for his crimes. He is acquitted but loses his daughter to his girlfriend. He realizes he can’t go on living and ends up taking his life, hence The End.

right in the feels broken heart

Like A Day to Remember and Avenged SevenfoldSilverstein was a band that Michael got me into, one of the several CDs he gave me. (Like I mentioned before a lot of these songs came from him. Is it irony or full circle?)

Like It Meant A Lot To You this song really expressed how I felt about the breakup. So here we go:

The first time we met
Your face became etched
In my mind

So the first time I saw his face, it wasn’t exactly etched in my mind, I mean I didn’t even think he liked me until a couple weeks later. But I also couldn’t stop thinking about him. He intrigued me and I wanted to know more about him.

Whatyouseeinaperson

Silverstein

You were the sun
I was the one
Who worshiped you.
My hands were your guns
Your eyes were my muse.


And I knew you could never love me
I had so much sorrow inside
You could never reach
But can I still keep
A place in your heart?

This was how I felt after he dumped me. I thought it was all my fault, that I was the reason we broke up. Now I know that it wasn’t necessarily what I did, I mean I still have no clue what went wrong between us, but a breakup isn’t one sided, there us far too much that to have it be blamed on only one person (except when cheating is involved.)

Deserve

And all I kept thinking and hoping (at the time) was maybe he would change his mind, maybe I could hold a place in his heart (I know pathetic 😦 But people act different when they care for others, they don’t do things they normally would. You just aren’t in your right mind)

Silverstein
You broke my heart
You promised me the moon and stars
I fell for your dreams. I fell for your lies
There was no other way
You know I tried


Now this part of the song is sung by the gf but for me all I could think after we broke up was everything that Michael had promised me. Now I know some things were silly, like him planning our trip to Disneyland (I’m not that dense) but I thought that he meant it when we talked about seeing each other in the upcoming months, Christmas, New Year’s Eve, etc. And the worst thing is that I mentioned these things, and he knew he had already decided to break up with me but didn’t have the guts to let me know.

jerk

you broke my heart silverstein


And I knew you could never love me
I had so much sorrow inside
You could never reach
But can I still keep
A place in your heart?

There is something
I want you to know
I think you know exactly what it is
I didn’t want to save you
I didn’t want to save you
I set our house on fire
To watch it burn
But I couldn’t just leave you there

I'm talking figuratively here. Don't actually be burning things.

I’m talking figuratively here. Don’t actually be burning things.

And I knew you could never love me
I had so much sorrow inside
You could never reach
But I’ll ask you this

Will you still miss me?
(Yes I’ll miss you)
Do you love me?
(Yes I love you)

Planes fill the sky
We’ll both die tonight
We’ll both die tonight
Hands from the sky
Swat us away like flies
As we follow the light

Planes fill the sky
We’ll both die tonight
We’ll both die tonight
Hands from the sky
Swat us away like flies
As we follow the light

We’ll both die tonight
We’ll both die tonight

Swat us away like flies
(We’ll both die tonight)
As we follow the light
(As we follow the light)

This union, a battle fought and lost
This union was not about the cause
This union was never about love

But you know what, even though it hurt at the time it probably was for the best. If he couldn’t tell me what was going on with him, couldn’t give me any attention,and just wasn’t as invested in our relationship like I was, it was good that we broke up.

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Although it did make me sad:

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But it can be better to end than to continue something that was not making both parties truly happy. (BTW by using the above pic I do not want anyone out there to think that I’m  still wallowing [that’s over] or anything, it just fit well with what I was saying)

bettertoend

lifegoeson

And you’ll meet someone great who will be just right for you.

RightGuy

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For more on the Heartbreak Series, go to If It Means a Lot to You

musicnotes

Otherwise here are a few posts you may be interested in

For more on Avenged Sevenfold, go to Belle of the Ball

For more on stories of betrayal by those close to you, check out Wake Up Dad 

For more on what a real man is, go to A Real Man

For more of my favorite songs, go to Once Upon a Time

Language of Love: Love Actually (2003)

Romantic Moment #1

Love Actually

Love Actually (2003)

So Love Actually is the first of those holiday inspired films that include a huge cast of stars who all have their own plotline, but are in actuality all connected to each other. You know films like Valentine’s Day & New Year’s Eve. Well this one takes place at Christmas, and even though this post is celebrating V-day, it is a perfect one to put on the list.

Now this film is even more complex in relationships than He’s Just Not That Into YouThere is Billy Mack, aging rock star trying to get back in the limelight. Peter just married Juliet, but his best friend Mark  is secretly in love with Juliet but has said nothing to honor his friend. Jamie, (who is friends with Peter, Julie, & Mark), had his last girlfriend cheat on him with his brother. He goes to France where he gets a Portuguese housekeeper that he develops feelings for. Harry is the direcctor of a design studio and married to Karen. He gets a new assistant, Mia, and thinks about stepping out on his wife. (Mia is friends with Mark.) Karen’s brother, David, has just begun his time as Prime Minister and develops feelings for Natalie, a girl who works for him. Daniel, friend of Karen, has just lost his wife and is raising his stepson. His stepson develops feelings for a girl and Daniel tries to help him win her heart. Sarah, (friend of Jamie, Peter, Julie, & Mark and employee of Harry) has feelings for Karl but her mentally ill brother, Michael, seems to throw a wrench in her plans. Colin, who hit on Mia, is tired of striking out with English women and journeys to America. John and Judy are body doubles for actors who meet at work.

Still confused?

Still confused?

Anyways so the story line that got on this countdown is Jamie & Aurélia’s. Jamie is a writer and uttery heartbroken when he discovers that his girlfriend was cheating on him with his own brother. He decides to go away to a little cottage in France to work and get away from it all. While there his landlady hires a Portuguese housekeeper, Aurélia, for him. Despite the fact that Aurélia can not speak any English and Jamie knows no Portuguese, the two form a bond and a spark comes to light.

When Jamie goes back to the UK, he starts taking a Portuguese language class so that he might return and share his feelings with Aurélia. On Christmas Eve, he leaves to find her and let her know how he feels.

With the help of Aurélia’s dad, Jamie is able to locate her and proposes to her (in Portuguese). We find out that Aurélia has been learning English in hopes that Jamie would come back.

So romantic

So romantic

Aww! Sooooo cute!

It’s a Wrap

So I have been absent for quite some time. I know, I know, I’m sorry.

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A lot has happened since October. I had my senior sem paper, other homework, work, family, friends, boyfriend, etc. So let me wrap up the last few weeks.

So I totally missed Veterans’ Day, and sorry to all you in the armed forces I really appreciate everything you do. It doesn’t make up for it but check out last years post, Let’s Hear It For the BoysI also totally missed Thanksgiving, but in my defense I was out of town, had homework, and had my aunt’s wedding. If you are totally in need of such a post, check out Thanks a Lot.

But never fear, right now I have plenty more holiday posts in the works. There will be the 25 Films of Christmas, A Horse’s Tale (Chinese New Year), and Romance is in the Air Part II. All coming soon.

Now remember back in the summer when I talked about my boyfriend? (Apologies, What’s the Dealio, Warm BodiesWell we broke up. I’m not sure what really happened, everything seemed fine to me, but apparently something happened that made him change his mind and think that a long distance relationship was something he couldn’t do. The saddest thing for me is that I miss him a lot. I had been counting the days until I was off for Christmas break and we could spend time together. I was hoping that we would finish our Harry Potter/Jane Austen trade (What’s the Dealio). I had been thinking ahead to Christmas, (already bought his gift. His fav movie V for Vendetta and a Jack Skellington mug). I was planning New Year’s Eve. I was even thinking about next year, and how we would be together for V-Day. But now that is all gone. But what can I say, every time it seems that I make plans, life changes it up.

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It wasn’t a bad breakup. I mean it is hard for me because a part of me can’t believe its over. I didn’t want the relationship to end, and it has been hard not having him in my life. I really, really, cared deeply for  him and now I have to get used to not having him around.

The nice thing is he’s no Wickham, Willoughby, Churchill, or Elliot. He wasn’t a liar, user, or cheater. Nope, if anything I’d have to say he was Charles Bingley or Anne Elliot. Something happened or someone said something that made Michael change his mind and convince him it wouldn’t work anymore. One of the worst things is not knowing why or what it was that caused that shift.

My grandfather also passed away at the same time. It was a hard Thanksgiving weekend. I don’t think I’ve gone a day without crying; from school, stress, Michael, grandpa, etc.

So I’m trying to move on. I know I will eventually, I just need time to get used to the fact that these people are no longer in my life. One way is to keep myself busy, which I can do with this blog and you guys. I’ll continue working on Happy Birthday Pride & Prejudice and my holiday posts.