Oh No, It Wasn’t the Airplanes. It Was Beauty Killed the Beast.: King Kong (1933)

Police Lieutenant: Well, Denham, the airplanes got him.

Carl Denham: Oh no, it wasn’t the airplanes. It was beauty killed the beast.

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVEEE King Kong!!!

I grew up watching this film and owned a VHS that had a King Kong on it that growled when you pushed on it.

The film all started with Merian C. Cooper’s idea of a giant ape on top of the world’s tallest building, fighting airplanes. He worked backward from there, to develop the rest of the story.

The name comes from producer, David O. Selznick, who decided King Kong was better than just Kong.

I know a lot of people hate the effects and such-but I don’t care. It was amazing in 1933 and it is amazing now!!

So without further ado-here we go!

So we open our film on 1930s New York City. There is a ship heading out to go on location to film, Carl Denham (Robert Armstrong) is in charge of it. Everyone is talking about it as the ship has three times the crew needed to sail.

Denham has explosives and gas bombs-he doesn’t care about legal issues, morality-he cares about money and his film. Its in his blood.

He needs an actress and no agent will help him hire one-as Denham has a reputation for being recklessness and he’s so private about where they are going. Everyone is afraid of what might happen. Go who knows where, to do who knows what, and stuck on a boat full of men. Yeah, I’d pass too.

I wouldn’t!!

The first mate is John “Jack” Driscoll (Bruce Cabot) and he doesn’t think they should bring a woman on board. They are bad luck. I think Mrs. Croft would not agree.

They can’t see why Denham needs a girl, as none of his other pictures has them. He says that he’s tired of people going on that if it had a love interest it would make twice as much money-so he is giving them what they want. But he need  girl to do it!

“Skipper: What are you doing?

Carl Denham: I’m gonna go out and find a girl for my picture – even if I hafta’ marry one.”

He heads to a woman’s shelter as he needs someone young, hungry, and desperate. But none look right.

He heads to a fruit stand and spies a woman, Ann Darrow (Fay Wray), looking at the fruit, she gets caught by the fruit stand owner for stealing, but Mr. Denham comes to her aid. He takes her to a nearby diner to eat. There Mr. Denham questions her-no job, no family, used to act, etc. He tells her he has a job, but Ann is no fool. She needs more info. She’s not walking into a sex slavery or whatever.

Denham slows down and introduces himself and tells her about his new picture and how he needs an actress ASAP. She agrees as she has heard of him, so knows he’s legit, needs a job-and this provides food, clothes, money, etc!

On the ship Ann and Jack meet. Jack is gruff and his interactions with Ann have always made me laugh. I think it is because he’s trying to be so macho and tough, but just becomes a big teddy bear around Ann.

Ann loves being on the ship and befriends everybody. The one she gets closest to is Jack who’s compliments just sound like facts. He cracks me up. He is trying to be romantic and failing.

Jack says she is trouble, just being around. He’s trying not to like her and keep her away, bit he does. He’s just a marshmallow.

This guy.

Jack doesn’t really like Denham, and hates that he hasn’t told him where they are going. It wouldn’t bother him so much, but he’s worried about Ann. Denham points it out that he likes her, but Jack deies it. Sure…

Carl Denham: [warning Jack about women] Some big, hardboiled egg gets a look at a pretty face and bang, he cracks up and goes sappy!

Which if you are paying close attention-that basically reveals the rest of the film.

So Denham finally reveals to Jack and Captain where he wants to go next. They are confused as there is nothing known out in that direction but ocean-but Denham has a secret island, that he got from a skipper who’s boat was destroyed. The place is called Skull Island. There is a giant wall that was built centuries ago, and no one knows what is on the other side but they police it and make sure it stays strong. That sounds kind of familiar…

Did you ever hear of white walkers Kong? Denham asks. He wants to go and create a picture with this Kong, whatever it is. He doesn’t care about anything or ayone other than money and this picture.

Denham does some screen tests with Ann, with all the sailors watching. Ann practices with the famous scream scene.

Sidenote her dress kinda looks like the one in White Zombie.

She is like a zombie.

Anyways, back to the film-this screaming pierces Jack as he loves Ann, but it also makes him wonder-what is Denham planning on them seeing?

They come into a fog and look for the island, but can hardly see anything…As they get closer they hear drums, but the fog burns off and they see the island.

Carl Denham: [seeing the island for the first time] Well, Skipper, there she is… Skull Mountain, the wall… everything just like on my funny little map.

Denham and the group plan to go ashore. The skipper comes as he knows languages, they have a guy who does the gas bombs (just in case), etc. Jack wants Ann to stay behind until they have assessed the situation, but Denham won’t listen. He wants his camera and cast by his side so that at any moment a picture can be filmed.

They look at the Wall and Denham goes ape over it, wanting to film it immediately. As they go Ann holds Jack’s hand, she’s excited and slightly fearful. But Jack is very afraid, he thinks having Ann come along was an awful idea.

The group stumble on a ceremony. The people are dressed up in ape skins, beating drums, and preparing a girl for something-some special ceremony is going on. The poor girl, she looks so sad and upset, but doing her duty.

Denham films them, and Ann peaks out trying to see what is going on. But they are spotted by the native’s leader. He walks over to them and the Skipper speaks to him in the hopes of keeping any fighting from happening.

The leader asks them to leave and says that the girl is the bride of Kong. One guy is upset-he says the ceremony has been ruined as it was viewed by outsiders. The chieftain asks to purchase Ann because of her yellow hair, and they think she would make a better gift for Kong. He wants to buy her, six of women for her.

They leave as the situation is hot, and say they will be back tomorrow to make friendship.

Anyone!

This want of her blonde hair as they had ever seen one before reminds me of my friend Margery. Margery had beautiful red hair and traveled all over, and people in other countries where red hair was scare were always in awe of it and wanting to touch her curls.

Jack and Ann talk, and he admits that he cares for her. He scared for her and a little of her.

Jack Driscoll: [to Ann] Hey… I guess I love you.

I guess I love you?

He makes me laugh. Jack has zero clues on how to be romantic.

Ann likes him too and they kiss. Jack gets called away by the Skipper, while Ann waits for him. But little does she know the people are intent on gettig her. They want her for their god and sneak aboard the boat and snatch her.

Denham notices torches going throughout the village, and Jack finished his duties and searches for Ann. But Ann is gone.

He goes to her room-no Ann, no one has seen her. But Charlie finds a native bracelet and calls all hands on deck as he has a bad feeling about it.

So the ceremony has begin, but unlike the previous girl-Ann doesn’t want to do the duty so they have to hold her.

They pull the bar from the door back and open to reveal…..a stage, they drag her through the giant walls, looking like little dolls next to them and pull her up the steps, chaining her t it. And seal her on it.

I remember the first time I saw this and I was just on the edge of my seat, what will it be? What is it going to look like??!!!

And then you hear the noises

And then he crashes through and we see his giant scary face!!!!!!!!! Those teeth!!!!! I LOVE it! They did such a great job, and I think it still looks 100% aMAZING!

Kong is just like what is this and grabs her carrying her off.

Meanwhile, Jack leads the band to save her. The crew goes storming in, all willing to save her as all loved her. A chunk stay behind to guard the gate and make sure that it stays open for their return.

The chieftain sees them storm in and sends his own men after. You guys never should have taken their women, it ruined your whole way of life.

As they march Denham still is thinking about the picture-money, filming.

They spot a stegosaurs, but they knock him out, temporarily and shoot him.

It’s funny but like all the creatures are giant on this island, bit the humans are still human-sized. I wonder why?

They make a raft and drift dow the river, I would be very, very, very afraid to be on that river safer seeing a stegosaurus. Who knows what else is in the water.

As they drift along we see some loch ness monster type thing

I still think it looks cool. It looked cool as a kid and still does. And I don’t care about what anyone else says.

NOOOOOO it eats some of the crew!!!

Things just get worse as they are followed by a Brontosaurs. This would be the worst island of all time to be stuck on. Basically everything is giant and trying to kill you!

Everything is trying to kill me!

Meanwhile Kong has Anne and Jack and the rest are not too far behind. The chase is on!

They are crossing a tree branch above a ravine, except Jack who gets on a vine nearby, but Kong picks it up and shakes them off-some falling to their death only two managing to hold on, opps..make that one. Kong then throws the branch and they all are dead.

All but Jack.

Wow!

Kong spots him and tries to grab him from his hiding spot, but Jack stabs his hand. But Jack has more serious problems when a snake like creature also goes to attack him.

Meanwhile, Ann is waiting in the tree that Kong placed her in for safekeeping, when a T-Rex comes out and tries to get her. We then have the epic Kong and T-Rex fight, YEAH!

I like T-Rexs, but..oh no, they bumped into Ann’s branch and it fell. She is almost crushed and finds herself trapped under the log.

Poor Anne, I bet she’s thinking I should have never agreed to this job. I should have just walked away from Denham and never looked back.

Oooh King Kong rips the T-Rex’s jaw apart and then plays with it not going back together. His creepy ape face with all the teeth!

Kong picks her up and caries her away screaming. Jack comes up and sends Denham (they guy has nine lives, I swear) off to get some more smoke bombs to knock Kong out.

Jack is prepared to go alone and fight the giant ape monster.

Carl Denham: [talking to Jack across the ravine] Why, you wouldn’t follow that beast alone?

Jack Driscoll: Someone’s got to stay on his trail while it’s hot!

Ladies, find yourself a Jack. Like this is the kind of bravery and love you want in a person. Can you imagine this-a giant freaking ape that could squash you like a bug-anyone could have been out but he decides to face it on his own because he loves Ann. How sweet.

So cute!!

Denham heads back to shore tells them the story, and Skipper is sure all they are all dead men. Everyone else is after all. Denham plans to leave at dawn with the bombs and go after them.

Meanwhile, Kong goes to his lair where he sets Ann down for a minute and another creature comes after her out o the water.

Man today is not anybody’s day!

We get another fight scene!! Yeah!! Of course after winning Kong must do a victory roar.

So now it is Ann and the monster alone she faints. And Kong picks her up looking and her. He rips her clothes off trying to figure out what they are-the other girl was in a skirt and flowers, the one that was supposed to be the bride.

This scene was one that was removed as it was too “graphic” and then added back in later.

Hmmm?

Jack tries to sneak up on them, but knocks a boulder over.  Real smooth.

Kong looks for him, and as he does Ann inches away and is attacked by a pterodactyl. Geez-it has really not been her day.

While Kong fights it, Jack sneaks in and leads her away on a vine. Kong eats the pterodactyl and Ann is grateful to be away.

See this is what bugged me in the remake, how they tried to make Ann and Kong friends. She doesn’t want to leave the giant ape monster which makes no sense to me. Like I LOVE cats, but being stranded on a desert island with a ginormous one that has bee known to devour the previous women-I don’t think that I would ever want to do that.

And let’s be serious-if I want a giant friendly ape-I’m watching Mighty Joe Young-If I want a killer monster ape, I’m watching King Kong. I don’t watch King Kong to have a girl beast love affair and ice-skating and Jack jealous of a gorilla and all that dumb stuff.

For the thousandth time

Speaking of giant cats, did anybody ever read the picture book Kat Kong as a kid? I used to check that out over and over again.

They all want to leave but Denham of course is all about the money. He wants to take Kong with them.

Carl Denham: Wait a minute, what about Kong?

Jack Driscoll: Well, what about him?

Carl Denham: We can here to get a moving picture, and we’ve found something worth more than all the movies in the world!

Captain Englehorn: [incredulous] What?

Carl Denham: We’ve got those gas bombs. If we can capture him alive…

Jack Driscoll: Why, you’re crazy. Besides that, he’s on a cliff where a whole army couldn’t get at him.

Carl Denham: Yeah, if he stays there…[looks at Ann] but we’ve got something he wants.

Jack Driscoll: [holds Ann] Yeah. Something he won’t get again.

Jack is not interested and wants to get gone. They all hurry when they hear Kong is coming. Seal the doors, run for the ship, the natives try to keep him out too-all joining together but, Kong comes and boy is he mad.

He breaks the doors down (FYI whoever built that wall you din’t build it strong enough). Everyone flees in terror! If I was the chieftain I would fire whoever come up with the idea to get the blonde woman.

RUN, the men try to protect their people and women but Kong is too strong!!!! He eats them and kills them.

Kong eventually makes it to the beaches and they throw the bombs at him trying to knock him out and accomplishing it.

Denham makes a big speech and they take him to New York.

[Kong has been knocked out by gas bombs]

Carl Denham: Why, the whole world will pay to see this.

Captain Englehorn: No chains will ever hold that.

Carl Denham: We’ll give him more than chains. He’s always been king of his world, but we’ll teach him fear. We’re millionaires, boys. I’ll share it with all of you. Why, in a few months, it’ll be up in lights on Broadway: Kong, the Eighth Wonder of the World.

One thing that has always bothered me-and they never explain in the new one either-how did they get that giant creature from the island to New York? Like he is ginormous! He’s bigger than the boat. How did they feed him?

Anyways, I don’t know how, but they do it and bring Kong to New York City.

They all come to the opening night and Ann is excited and Jack is not happy. He doesn’t care for being there and hates the suit. Jack is very humble when Denham tries to paint him as the hero and Ann the star!

The house is packed out and all are eager to see Kong. Denham gives a great speech, but like Ian Malcolm says-chaos you cant control everything. He reveals Kong-now chained to a platform-oohh the irony. Ann and Jack are engaged! Aw! Denham has the press come foward and they take pictures. Bad idea!

All the light bothers Kong  and then Jack holding Ann-it gets to be to much and Kong breaks free.

Everyone goes screaming and running as Kong chases after them, Grabbing people, throwing them while searching for his girl.

Even as a kid I was always conscious of money and always wondered who’s going to pay for all the damage? Denham? Does he get arrested for the carnage and wreckage? Can you imagine if this was made today? Lawsuit after lawsuit would come running in.

Ann is upset and discussing her PTSD over the event, while Jack tries to console her-but too late. Kong has found them. Jack gets knocked unconscious and Kong takes Ann.

Jack wake up and runs off to rescue her again.

Meanwhile the police and fire department gets called in. Can you imagine the luck of being one of the people who pulled that shift this night. Getting a calls about giant apes!

Kong causes destruction and mayhem and gets caught in a train, breaking it and you just gotta love it. He’s destroying everything!

So the story says Merian C. Cooper didn’t like that the film was at thirteen reels, too unlucky! He insisted they add another shot, one he’s been wanting all along that was the train scene.

He heads for the tallest building in the world (at least in 1933) to the Empire State Building.

They don’t know what to do or how to stop him, but Jack comes up with the idea of airplanes, so the military is called in. While everyone is watching the planes. Jack sneaks into the elevator and heads to the roof.

We see Kong at the top with the planes. I LOVE this scene.

The planes shoot him and he falls, down down to his death! Jack makes it to the top and he and Ann are reunited!

Down below Denham makes it to the ape and says the famous line.

Police Lieutenant: Well, Denham, the airplanes got him.

Carl Denham: Oh no, it wasn’t the airplanes. It was beauty killed the beast.

I LOOOOOOOOVVVVEEEEEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!

You know this film made $90,000 its opening weekend, the biggest opening ever at the time. When the film opened in London, 12,000 people had to be turned away.

You know its funny, I planed to review this movie way back when I first started Horrorfest, but I just ran out of days. I had always planed on reviewing it, but never imagined it would take seven ears Oh well!

Oh, well.

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning go to, Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more monster movies, go to Once, There Was Even a Man Who Had Scissors for Hands: Edward Scissorhands (1990)

She Struck Him as a Fixer-Upper, a Block of Clay Ready for Pygmalion’s Chisel: The Overnight Socialite

Day 18) R is for Remake: Choose a Book that is a Retelling of a Classic

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The Overnight Socialite by Bridie Clark

I was in the college campus bookstore because I needed to buy some scantrons and decided to look around as my friend’s birthday was coming up. She is really into being environmentally friendly, so I was looking at the recycled products when I spotted one of my favorite things: Clearance Books. You know how I feel about that.

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I didn’t really see anything that I was interested in or would be a good gift for my friend. As I pushed the books around I spotted this one.

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The first thing that intrigued me was the cover and how the hair is butterflies. I flipped the back over and read that it was a retelling of Pygmalion, the story most would recognize as its musical form My Fair Lady.

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I thought it sounded interesting and was reduced to a good price, but I felt like I couldn’t buy it as I didn’t have the extra money for myself and was supposed to be shopping for my friend. So I left it behind.

I don't need it.

I don’t need it.

Later I began thinking about it.

Good job screenwriters.

I just couldn’t get it off my mind so I ended up looking for it in the library.

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But they didn’t have it!

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But I was able to ILL (Inter Library Loan) it and I got it from another place.

Double double yay

I then read the story and quickly loved it, finding it hard to put down.

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Now you know how I feel about remakes and sequels:

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But this was nothing like that. I thought this book was absolutely amazingly written and was incredible in retelling the story.

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Background:

So the original play Pygmalion takes place during Victorian Era England. Eliza Doolittle is a woman from the lower classes who sells flowers to survive. She comes upon an angry Professor Henry Higgins, an aristocrat, who is appalled at how her cockney butches the English language. He makes a bet with his friend Colonel Pickering that he could take Eliza, teach her how to talk eloquently, and she would be able to pass off as a wealthy woman. He never imagined that Eliza would take up his offer, but she does and Col. Pickering insists on them continuing the bet.

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Plot Synopsis:

In this version, we are in modern day Manhattan. Wyatt Hayes IV is from an old family stock, high in the community, and biological anthropologist with his doctoral degree from Harvard. He is bored with his life and stalled career, and disgusted with the way that these modern Manhattanites conduct themselves. More like the Kardashians, taking every bit of limelight they can, rather than being the Jackie Onassis.

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He breaks up with his longtime girlfriend, Cornelia, as all she cares about is becoming a “brand” and working on her “career” as a socialite.

That guy!

He heads over to his favorite bar to hang out with his friend Trip Peters, fellow Gothamite and complains that these women today, are just like the animals he’s studied.

Or them

Or them

Meanwhile, Lucy Jo Ellis is the daughter of a manicurist in Milwaukee. She came to New York in the hopes of becoming a fashion designer; but has barely been able to scrape by on her pay as an assistant seamstress for a designer. She believes she is given her dream when she is gifted an invitation at the designer’s fashion show, but that turns out to be a call for assisting in catering and does not go well.

ouch Hermione

Fired, and with zero options and no money; it looks like Lucy is headed back to Milwaukee.

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Wyatt muses on this thought of society women like the animal kingdom, and as he drinks decides it is the perfect project for him…for a book! He could take any average woman and using his knowledge of the animal kingdom and New York socialites; he could change her into the top debutante.

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A chance meeting with Lucy, as she is trying to make her way home, he bets he can turn her into the top socialite.

Let'sdothis

Lucy reacts like any normal girl would, and freaks out thinking that he is crazy or trying to pick her up. She takes off.

I'm getting out of here

I’m getting out of here

However, with no possibilities coming her way and living on her last dollar she decides to take Wyatt up on his crazy experiment. Wyatt is eager for this to work as he has his book deal, which he has not told Lucy anything about (bad idea)

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And Lucy believes that when she becomes a socialite she can use that to create bonds with the right people, finding a new designer to work with or possibly even start out on her own.

Double double yay

Will Wyatt be able to make due on his bet and turn her into a real lady?

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Or will the whole plan flop?

Not good

Not good

Will Lucy be able to score her dream job?

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Or will she become the laughingstock of the upper crust and be kicked out of New York City?

And run fast

And run fast

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How Does It Compare?:

I thought the characters were amazingly well done and I loved how the book was able to follow the map of the original story; but at the same time infuse it with their own style and create a new-old tale.

Some changes that the author, Clark, made , I felt enhanced the story. She added a girlfriend for Wyatt’s Professor Higgen’s character, being the catalyst for his bet. She is shallow, vain, and only cares about her image; being the foil for Lucy.

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We also have a girlfriend for Trip (the Col. Pickering character), being Eloise. Eloise is a personal shopper/stylist ad gets recruited to assist in dress and makeup for Lucy. The two become fast friends and we become invested in her and her distress over Trip’s lack of commitment.

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Clark also extends the characters of the Eynsford-Hill family; the mother, daughter Clara, and son Freddy (Max in the book). Mrs. Eynsford-Hill is a social climber; trying to overcome her family’s downfall by trying to marry her children up. Her daughter is closer to the mother while Freddy is ruled by both women in his life. In the play, they treat Eliza poorly when they see her as a peasant, Freddy later becoming one of her biggest admirers, falling in love with her. In a way they are seen as Eliza’s accomplishments; so well trained in being a lady they don’t even realize she is the same women from before.

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In this book we spend a lot of time in their head and learn that Clara wishes to have wealth and fortune, but is willing to put that aside for love and true happiness. Freddy, Max in this book, isn’t interested in continuing “wall street business” but is more comfortable creating things and doing capentry. He has a lot more to him, and eventually strikes out on his own. He later becomes a love interest for Eloise, who is tired of Trip’s stalling.

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I thought this was a fantastic read and highly recommend it.

Iloveit love

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To star the 30 Day Challenge from the beginning, go to It Was a Pleasure to Burn: Fahrenheit 451

For the previous post, go to A Quest of Swords and Wizards: The Crown Conspiracy

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For more retelling classic literature, go to Midnight in Austenland

For more modern remakes, go to Is Love at the Thanksgiving Parade Really Just Pride & Prejudice?

For more on Oprah Winfrey, go to I Have A Problem

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Today’s Christmas carol is Silver Bells. It was written in 1950 and composed by Jay Livingston and Ray Evans. At first it was called Tinkle Bells, until Livingston pointed out the other meaning of tinkle.

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There is a big conflict as to where the idea came from. Livingston was quoted saying the idea came from hearing the Salvation army bells, while Evans said it was a bell on their desk. Oh well, it doesn’t really matter as a great song came out of either source.

The song was orginally sung by Bob Hope and Marilyn Maxwell in The Lemon Drop Kid, but the first official release of the song was done Bing Crosby and Carol Richards.

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For more Bing Crosby, go to I’m the Happiest Girl on Prince Edward Island: Anne of Green Gables

For more Christmas Carols, go to So You’re the Little Woman Who Wrote the Book that Made this Great War: Uncle Tom’s Cabin

 

I Came Upon a Shattered Glass Jar and Four Baby Turtles Crawling into a Strange Glowing Ooze: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

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One day, I came upon a shattered glass jar and four baby turtles…The little ones were crawling into a strange glowing ooze from a broken canister nearby. I gathered them up in an old coffee can and when I awoke the next morning, I received a shock. For they had doubled in size. I, too, was growing. 

If you’ve been following me you’ve read this already, but for the new readers I’m giving a little background as to why I choose a TMNT film. If you have seen it already, feel free to skip ahead

So this is our third installment of four reviews of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ films.

Double double yay

So I know those of you who haven’t been following me, and have stumbled upon this post are probably really confused. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? As a horror film? NO WAY.

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I know you are all saying to yourselves, hey this is a superhero movie, not a horror film. Au contraire, you see the turtles are radioactively enhanced to be larger; agile, smarter, etc. In fact the only thing that separates them from other radioactively changed creatures: such as the ants in Them, the giant spider in the Tarantula, or even Godzilla. They choosing to use their abilities for good and be superheroes doesn’t change the fact of how they were made.

So there! tongue sticking out pug

This Post We Are Switching Things UP!!

So I started Horrorfest V with the 2014 live action film, and worked backwards to the 2007 animated version.  The former had a Frankenstein-like quality and the latter had monsters. Instead of doing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993) when they travel back in time to Japan, I’ve decided we are going to the film that started it all.

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The 1990 version. This version doesn’t have as many horror elements as the others, but mutated creatures are still mutated creatures. And that counts!

So shall we wait any further? Or

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

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So I was a gigantic fan of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies, especially the first two. My sister, friends, and I used to always act out the films or create our own stories.

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The film tried to stay true to the comic series, rather than the TV show; from backstories, to lighting, to introductions, etc.

The craziest thing for me to wrap my head around was how no one wanted to make it. It was supposed to be done in the ’80s before the TV show, but financing always fell through. In fact, it was done by a new company and is one of the most productive independent films ever made.

What?

What?

And almost everyone, from writers, producers, Judith Hoag (April O’Neil), Jim Hensen, etc; complained that this film was too dark and too violent. That’s just crazy to me.

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They were a tremendous part of my childhood and I can’t wait to share it with you. So no use waiting around anymore:

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

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TMNT

So the film begins with April O’Neil giving a report for Channel 3 news about the recent crime wave that has been occurring in New York City. Everything from purse snatching, to breaking & entering, etc. But the strangest thing? No one even seems to get a view of them. They are like a blink of an eye, a ninja.

April O’Neil: But whoever is behind these crimes, one thing is certain, these are much than just a series of random isolated incidents. Crimes without criminals? An invisible gang at work? Who are we gonna call? Unfortunately the police are the only ones to combat what some are already dubbing the silent crime wave. But perhaps the most disturbing silence is that coming from city hall. April O’Neill, Channel 3 Eyewitness News.

While April’s reporting is good for her viewers, it doesn’t make her any friends in city hall or the police station.

Not good

Not good

 

One night when April is heading home, she is walking past an alley when she sees some teenagers stealing from a van. They chase after her and pin her to the ground when the lights go out.

Never a good sign.

Never a good sign.

We hear some buttkicking, and when the lights come back on, the guys are tied up and April is fine.

WOW

WOW

But there is no one there? Who did this?

April finds a sai and takes it before the police can see it. She is being watched by a figure who realizes that he left his sai behind.

clueless mybad oops

We then head down to the sewers and get our first look at the brothers and their father/instructor, Splinter:

TMNTpizza

And when I first saw them as a kid I was amazed at how lifelike and incredible they look. That’s what’s wrong with a lot of CGI, it just doesn’t feel real, it doesn’t take space or have weight. These felt real, they were just incredible.

OMG gasp

The turtles took multiple people doing the face, body, and voice; and were created by Jim Henson. They were the most advanced he had ever worked with; made out of fiberglass and foam rubber latex. They took 18 weeks to make. Incredible.

Splinter had three puppeteers; one for the face, one for the arms, and the puppet himself.

AMAZING!

AMAZING!

So the four boys: Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael; return home to tell their master what happened.

Leonardo: We have had our first battle, Master Splinter! They were many, but we kicked… but we fought well.

Splinter: Were you seen?

Leonardo: Uh-uh.

Splinter: In this, you must never lapse. Even those who would be our allies, would not understand. Our domain is the shadow; stray from it reluctantly, for when you do, you must strike hard and fade away, without a trace.

Raphael: I lost a sai!

Splinter: Then, it is gone.

Raphael: But I can get it back! I can get it back…

Splinter: Raphael!… Let it go.

Done with work, time for a reward. And you know what the TMNT’s favorite thing to have is Pizza.

Pizza Delivery Sabrina the teenage witch

Raphael is upset and heads out to a movie, dressed up in a trench coat and hat. Donatello and Michelangelo wait for their delivery.

And the turtles enjoy their favorite snack:

TMNTteenage_mutant_ninja_turtles_movie

PIZZA!!!

Raphael goes to see Critters which he hates and stumbles upon some thugs who snatch a ladies purse. There he meets Casey Jones, sports vigilante.

Casey grew up watching all kinds of cop shows and decided to become a vigilante. I thought he was one of the coolest, apart from the turtles, and one of my favorite characters.

If he existed.

If he existed.

So he and Raphael fight about who’s right about how to treat the thugs. When Casey knocks Raphael into a garbage can, he takes off and Raphael heads off for home.

The next day, April goes to the police to report what happened, but the chief isn’t much help as he hates the way she showed him on TV. Well maybe you should stop acting so much like bumbling fool and do your job.

stupidmoranhmm_yes_i_see_youre_a_moron_trollcat

She then goes to the subway to go home when she is approached by the gang, the Foot. They warn her about her mouth and start to attack her, knocking her out, but are stopped by Raphael who has been following April in hopes to get her sai back. When he finishes the Foot off and sees a knocked out April, there is only one thing he can do. Bring her back to his home.

uh-no-gifuhno

I know bad idea, but what else can he do. It’s not like he can drop her off at a hospital or something, and its not like he can leave her there.

Leonardo: [Raphael has brought an unconscious April O’Neil into the sewer] Are you crazy?

Raphael: Yeah, Leo, I’m crazy, OK? A loony, OK?

Donatello: But why?

Raphael: Why? Why, oh I don’t know, ’cause I wanted to redecorate. You know, a couple of throw pillows, a TV news reporter, what do ya think?

And when she wakes up, she has the appropiate response to seeing four, life-size talking turtles and a rat.

screamhouseonhauntedhill

But they are able to calm her down and get her to listen to their story.

teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-pic-2

Can we take a moment and pause to talk about Splinter. Now in real life I hate rats. I think they are disgusting and ugly.

ew! Gross Yuck

I hated the new version of Splinter too as he was horrifying, fake looking, and mean. But this Splinter is perfect, he is friendly, kind, cuddly, adorable.

You're so cute

Sorry for that tangent, let’s get back to the film.

The turtles take April home, and she invites them in for their favorite thing:

April O’Neil: I’d like to invite you all in but I really don’t have anything to offer you guys except for some… frozen pizza.

Michaelangelo: [springs up from the manhole like a jack-in-the-box] Let’s go for it!

Donatello: You said the magic word.

April O’Neil: You guys eat pizza?

MichaelangeloDonatello: Doesn’t everybody?

April O’Neil: Um, yeah… alright.

Leonardo: [from below] Hey, did she say pizza?

Pizzaiseternal

When the turtles return home, they find their home burglarized and Splinter gone!

1Star-Wars-Luke-NOOO-Not-my-father

With nowhere else to turn they stay with April in her apartment over and old antique shop.

Meanwhile, April’s boss Charles’ son Danny has just been released from jail for stealing. The Chief has promised to keep it off the record if he can keep April off his back.

Mmhm great gatsby

Charles goes to talk with April, who is housing 4 giant turtles

No thank youhowaboutno

Charles tries to talk to April but she doesn’t really listen and she plans to continue with her story.

Meanwhile, Danny takes off when his dad tries to talk to him about stealing and heads to a secret teen hideout. It like a gang, at first everything seems fun with skateboarding, video games, etc.; but turns darker as they are expected to steal and eventually the best of the best are chosen to join the Foot clan. The hideout is run by the second-in-command, Tatsu; while the leader is Shredder.

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Shredder used to terrify me as a child. He hardly says anything but he has those cold, cruel eyes, and that steely voice. Frightening.

I'm getting shivers

I’m getting shivers

I think the scariest thing about him too is how little he cares for anyone else. He practically kills a guy in here and has done some sick, crazy things in the past. He is a complete psychopath that cares about achieving his goals; and if you get in the way…well he is called Shredder for a reason.

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So back at the apartment, the turtles are watching April’s newscast. Afterwards Leonardo and Raphael argue about what to do next, Raphael thinking they should find the Foot and get some answers, Leonardo think they should wait until April picks up on something. Leo says some horrible things about how they don’t need him and Raphael goes upstairs to the roof to workout his frustration.

fliptablesangrysurprised

The foot has tracked them down and approach the house as April arrives home. Downstairs April shows off the antiques, while Raphael gets pummeled. He comes falling through the roof and the fights escalate, until Casey shows up to lend a hand.

The hockey mask wearing and weapon wielding type of guy you want to see.

The hockey mask wearing and weapon wielding type of guy you want to see.

“Casey Jones: [to the Foot soldiers of Raph] You guys mind telling me what you’re doing to my little green pal over there, hm? [sees AprilOh, who is the babe?

Leonardo: Who the heck is that?

Michaelangelo: Wayne Gretzky on steroids?”

The building catches fire and the turtles and April escape in a secret tunnel. As they exit the building, Casey is the last one out and hears a message left by April’s boss:

As they leave we spot Danny watching the building fro afar, he is the one who betrayed them.

betrayal_super_mario_world_by_ggrock70-d37inzj.png

They drive out to a farmhouse in more rural New York, also left to April. Raphael remains motionless while Leonardo tries to help him. The rest try to concentrate on doing something, anything but all the questions constantly bombard them. What to do? Is Splinter okay? Is he alive? Will Raphael recover?

I don't know what to do

Back in the city, Shredder has the whole Foot searching for the turtles. Something about the way they fight is so familiar, reminds him of the past…he also has them searching for Danny as he too has disappeared.

On the farm, Raphael has reawaken!

Leonardo: [sees that Raphael is awake and rushes to him] Raph! You’re awake! How do you feel?

Raphael: What’s a guy gotta do… to get some food around here?

Leonardo: [stands up, ecstatic, and runs to bathroom door] Hey! Hey, he’s awake! He wants some food! Bring some food! [runs back to RaphaelYou’re gonna be ok Raph… you’re gonna be ok!

Raphael: Yeah, yeah, alright Leo! Get a grip, will ya?

Leonardo: Listen, Raph…[helps Raphael to his feet]-about what I said before… y’know… about not needing you and all?

Raphael: Leo… don’t. [They hug]

Leonardo: Boy, we missed you.

Donatello: [he and April watch from the doorway] It’s a Kodak moment.

They let Raphael build up his strength, while Leo tries to contact Splinter through meditation. He feels him and has his brothers go off into the woods to join him. There they hear Splinter speak and are ready to head back to the city.

Let's Do IT!

Let’s Do IT!

The turtles return home and find Danny hiding out there. They don’t know he was the one who lead Shredder to them, and warmly welcome him. Casey is claustrophobic, as decides to stay in the truck, above ground.

Even though Danny doesn’t like the Foot clan, once you are in a gang it is hard to get out. He returns and finds Splinter, hearing his story pre-turtles

Splinter: I too once had a family, Danny. Many years ago I lived in Japan: a pet of my master Yoshi, mimicking his movements from my cage and learning the mysterious art of Ninjitsu, for Yoshi was one of Japan’s finest shadow warriors. His only rival was a man named Oroko Saki, and they competed in all things, but in nothing more fiercely than for the love of a woman, Tang Shen. Shen’s love was only for my master and rather than see him fight Saki for her hand, she persuaded Yoshi to flee with me to America. But Saki vowed vengeance. I remember it well, as my master returned home to find his beloved Shen lying on the floor, and then he saw her killer. Saki wasted no words, and during the struggle, my cage was broken. I leapt to Saki’s face, biting and clawing, but he threw me to the floor and took one swipe with his Katana, slicing my ear. Then he was gone, and I was alone.

Danny: What became of this Oroku Saki?

Splinter: Nobody really knows… But you wear his symbol.

OMG gasp

It’s the…

tmntshreddertumblr_mxn1lp02e71t0ow0mo1_500

His psychopath levels have just increased a thousand percent.

Shredder appears and removes a drawing of the turtles done by April. He leaves to gather troops and sends Tatsu back to kill Splinter.

1Star-Wars-Luke-NOOO-Not-my-father

Danny heads back to help Splinter, and runs into Casey. They manage to get him out in time.

The Foot go out to fight Splinter, but are surprised by the turtles. Back in the hideout, Tatsu and Casey fight, with Casey defeating him. Afterwards, he talks to the group and asks if this is the kind of “family” they want.

Gang Leader: We have a loyalty to the Shredder.

Splinter: The Shredder uses you. He poisons your minds to obtains for that which he desires. He cares nothing for you or the people you hurt.

Gang Leader: We’re family.

Casey Jones: Family? Did you say family? You call this here and that…[points to Tatsu, who he just knocked out]…down there, family?

If only it was that easy in real life.

After the Turtles defeat a group of ninjas, they all step aside for Shredder.

Yes, Splinter is like the animal version of Mr. Miyagi. And he rocks!

But is the Shredder dead? Or is he like every other horror villain? they always come back.

Terminatorillbeback

April has her story, the police stop the gang, Casey has April and the turtles celebrate their family and victory!

Leonardo: We were awesome!

Michaelangelo: Bodacious!

Raphael: B******’!

Donatello: Uh…

Michaelangelo: Gnarly!

Leonardo: Radical!

Raphael: Totally tubular, dude!

Michaelangelo: Wicked!

Leonardo: Hellacious!

Donatello: Uh, mega…

Splinter:[Splinter clears his throat, the Turtles clam up] I have always liked… Cowabunga.

LeonardoMichaelangeloRaphaelDonatello: COWABUNGA!

Splinter: [laughs] I made a funny!

And there is only one way to end a turtle film, in SONG!

Well that’s the awesomeness of the turtles. It was perfect and I just:

loveitSupernatural

Before we end, I have one more little Turtle delight for you:

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To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to A Murder Has Been Committed on Your Property: Death Comes to Pemberley, Episode One (2013)

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For more Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, go to Every Three Thousand Years, the Stars Align. Unleashing an Army of Monsters: TMNT (2007)

For more Nostalgia Critic, go to Fanning All Over the Place 

Every Three Thousand Years, the Stars Align. Unleashing an Army of Monsters: TMNT (2007)

TMNT

Every three thousand years, the stars align. Unleashing an army of monsters.

If you’ve been following me you’ve read this already, but for the new readers I’m giving a little background as to why I choose a TMNT film. If you have seen it already, feel free to skip ahead

So this is our second installment of four reviews of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ films.

So I know those of you who haven’t been following me, and have stumbled upon this post are probably really confused. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? As a horror film? NO WAY.

crazy

I know you are all saying to yourselves, hey this is a superhero movie, not a horror film. Au contraire, you see the turtles are radioactively enhanced to be larger; agile, smarter, etc. In fact the only thing that separates them from other radioactively changed creatures: such as the ants in Them, the giant spider in the Tarantula, or even Godzilla. They choosing to use their abilities for good and be superheroes doesn’t change the fact of how they were made.

So there! tongue sticking out pug

So last week I started with the 2014 film as it contained a lot of horror film components, as these turtles are engineered in a lab instead of accidentally created, just like Frankenstein.

Clive, Colin (Frankenstein)_02

Today we are doing the 2007 version/remake. In this one we have a lot of horror film components, I mean we have giant stones turning into monsters and trying to destroy New York City. So no use waiting around:

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

The Review

So as you know I hate remakes and sequels.

Bad Sequels psycho-1960-alfred-hitchcock-janet-leigh-pic-21

I was not excited about this film coming out at all. It’s going to suck. I just knew I would hate it.

DislikeYOuScream2

But my nephew loved the film and wanted me to watch it with him when it came out. What are you gonna do? It’s family!

dean whinchester shrug smile oh well

But I was right. It was horrible.

Ew Yuck Gross

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TMNT

So the film starts off with long narration about an Aztec warrior finding a portal to another dimension granting him immortality but his generals were turned to stone. It also released 13 monsters, everything from Bigfoot to the Jersey Devil.

Flashforward to present times, after the defeat of the Shredder, the turtles have broken up.

Whattheheck

Yes…I’ll get to that later. So Leonardo was sent to central America to train to be a leader and hasn’t returned. Since then, the remaining turtles have been working

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayernosense

Yes…I know. More later. With Raphael doing vigilante things at night.

April is working as a relic acquirer

IndianaJonesHmmMaybe

And not a reporter

crazy

Yes…I know. More later. She runs into Leonardo and convinces him to come back. He does and him and Raphael fight all the time.

OVERDONE

OVERDONE

April delivers the statue she find to the uber rich Max Winters, makes me think of Shreck from Batman Returns, and he hires the Foot clan to hunt down the 13 monsters.

The Generals awaken and help hunt down the monsters, but when they discover they won’t be immortal with all 13, they want to betray Winters.

Thanks to Casey, they’ve discovered the Aztec warrior is Winters and try to help him. Meanwhile Leonardo hates the vigilante Raphael is secretly, and tries to stop him. When he finds out it is Raphael, the two fight and Leonardo ends up getting captured by the generals as the 13 monster.

OhNOthisisgonnabebad

And in the end they save the day, destroy the monsters, and reunite.

TheEnd_Title_2

So why did I hate it? Let’s count down!

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1) CGI

TMNT

The CGI was horrible. They looked awful and boxy and just bad. I would have preferred 2D. I mean look at Casey, his whole face and body, just no.

Not the right one.

Not the right one.

And it’s not like CGI was still working out the kinks. I mean you had some good stuff like RatatouilleMeet the Robinsons, I mean even the dumb movies like The Bee Movie and Alvin and the Chipmunks had good CGI. This was just bad.

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2) Instead of the Turtle Background We are Focusing on Aztec Warrior Meets Monsters Meets Multiple Dimensions

WOW

WOW

I know this is so strange. They give the turtle background as to who they are, how they were created, and such like three lines! Three LINES!

Four turtles. Four brothers. Genetically reborn in the sewers of New York. Named after the Renaissance masters and trained as ninjas.

And then we are supposed to give our attention to this Yactl or whatever, his generals turning into stone, immortality gift, blah blah…

Blah, blah

Blah, blah

Our full attention?

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

I PAID TO SEE A TURTLE FILM!!! I WANT THE TURTLES!!!

It is so stupid! It makes no sense!!!!

It is so stupid! It makes no sense!!!!

I mean really, out of all the comic written, this is the back story you want to give us???!!! OUT OF EVERYTHING??? Who was paid to write that? If it had been up to me, as soon as I read that, they would have been FIRED!!!

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3) Why Was the Main Warrior Not Turned to Stone?

BrothersGrimmBrokenmirrorQueen

So how come Yactl was not turned to stone but all the generals were? They never really seem to explain why he was the only one given the immortality. Then again maybe they did, but my mind glazed over when I had to pay attention to the most non-turtle Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle film.

Yes film you are so bad you are forcing me to reference not just the Master of Disguise, but its stupidest scene to talk about how I feel.

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4) The Turtles are Split Up

TimeWhenNotBroken

Hey guys let me point you to the title of the comics and the films: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Yes did you get that? TurtleS!!!!!!! TurtlesSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fliptablesangrysurprised

YOU CAN’T EVEN GET THAT RIGHT!!!!!! THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MORE THAN ONE TURTLE FIGHTING!!!

It is so stupid! It makes no sense!!!!

It is so stupid! It makes no sense!!!!

Yes, they split the turtles up and send Leonardo to South America, why I don’t know. It’s dumb, it makes no sense, just argh!. They are supposed to be a team! When I paid for my ticket I paid to see four turtles not one on his own. And it makes no sense why they would split them up? Like seriously, who wanted that. Did any of these people read the comics or watch the TV show/films. I mean seriously!!!

meettheRobinsonsPlannotthoughtthrough

Let’s move on…

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5) April is Not a Reporter but Tomb Raider

Raiders of the Lost Ark Satipo

April is not a reporter…

Whattheheck

Yes April is not a reporter…

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayernosense

April is not a reporter but a tomb raider…

stupidestThingeverheard

Yes no matter how many times I say it, it still sounds dumb. Why isn’t she a reporter? I mean how could she even go from reporter to tomb raider. It’s not like she’s an archeologist or anthropologist, or knows any of that stuff at all. And I SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE A REPORTER!!!!!

And to ease the suckage of this film

And to ease the suckage of this film

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6) The Turtles Have Jobs

WHAT!

WHAT!

The TURTLES have JOBS?!!!!!!

Stop stop it now!

Just end the film here because that is literally the stupidest thing I have ever heard.

So you are telling me GIANT, MUTANT, GREEN, TURTLES with no social security numbers, good contact info, experience, etc are able to have jobs?

stupidestThingeverheard

And let’s just forget about the social security number, experience, education; you know all those things you need to work and focus on this tiny little issue: GIANT, MUTANT, GREEN, TURTLES!!!!!!!!!

I don't think so

How do GIANT, MUTANT, GREEN, TURTLES get jobs? Huh HOW?!!!!!!!!!! This is just so stupid that if I think about it any longer my IQ will drop.

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7) Why is Raphael the Nightwatcher?

Batman-Begins

So Raphael is the only one continuing to fight crime and be a ninja superhero. But instead of continuing as himself, he has faux batman gear and even takes on a faux Batman name with Nightwatcher (similar to Nightwing). I mean why does he even have to dress up? He is a giant turtle!!! And why hide it? Just because Leonardo is gone they can’t be vigilantes anymore? That makes NO SENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are driving me insane!!!!

You are driving me insane!!!!

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8) No Shredder

1Star-Wars-Luke-NOOO-Not-my-father

While its true you don’t have to have a Shredder to make a TMNT film, you notice how much they suck when they don’t have one. Like this movie, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III. I mean Shredder and Turtles just go together, it’d be like making macaroni and cheese with no macaroni.

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9) The Convoluted Plot

Nope, not him.

It feels like they spend hours talking about Yactl, the monsters, dimensions, blah blah blah.

Idon'tcareanymoreDeanWinchesterSupernatural

I totally checked out from this film. I mean I came to see TMNT, not all this useless drivel they keep trying to push. Just dumb, dumb, dumb.

big mistake

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10) Raphael and Leonardo Fight Over Who is the Leader

Stop stop it now!

Ugh I hate this plot thread. It is too:

OVERDONE

OVERDONE

I mean it worked in the first film, but because of that it doesn’t mean you have to do it non-stop!! Just do something else. I swear that if I see this repeated one more time in a TMNT film(not counting the 2014 one) I will be held responsible for me actions.

ARRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!

ARRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!

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11) The End

TheEnd_Title_2

It was horrible, dumb, and I didn’t like it. The only thing that was good was that it was over!

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Good-bye forever!

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Yes this film was horrible, just horrible. I mean it was so bad, it made the 2014 film look good. For all their faults, at least they tried to make a TMNT film that actually centered on the TMNT.

Well that’s it for this post. Next week I’ll be reviewing the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle film. How does it compare? How does it hold up? Well, all those questions will be answered in seven days.

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To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to The Butcher of Burtonsville High: The Death of the Queen Bee, Bones (2010)

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For more Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, go to Heroes are Not Born, They’re Created: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

For more sucky remakes, go to Don’t F*** With the Original: Scre4m (2011)

For more alternate dimensions, go to There’s Nothing Out There. Nothing in the Mist: The Mist (2007)

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In other news today is our 800th post

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For the 700th post, go to Fan-do or Fan-don’t. There is No Fan-try

For the 600th post, go to There Are Thirteen Chairs at the Table…And That’s Unlucky: Mystery of the 13th Guest (1943)

Have You Seen Megan Hipwell?: The Girl On the Train (2016)

the_girl_on_the_train

Have you seen Megan Hipwell?

I first was introduced to the book this film is based on by Goodreads. Everywhere I looked they promoted the book and kept recommending it to me.

They were constantly attacking me trying to get me to read it. That kind of pressure actually made me not want to read it at all.

Want YOu Leave Me Alone

But then I saw the film coming out and decided that I would like to read the book before seeing the film. I figured out who the murderer was, but thought the book was pretty well written.

LeavehertoHeavenReading

So before we start with the film review, let’s give a bit of background on the book. So the theme of the book is that you never really know a person, there is a lot more than meets the eye.

Carnival of Souls Don't know real

So the book is told by three female narrators who are completely unreliable.

1) First we have Rachel Watson. Rachel is bitter, obsessed, and an alcoholic. We want to like her and believe in her, feeling for the wrongs that have been committed against her, but at the same time we can’t trust her. First of all Rachel is an alcoholic who continually blacks out when she gets drunk and never knows what actually happens. Besides that, Rachel admits that she has an overactive imagination so we never know what she does remember or see to really be what she says or whether it is made up in her head.

2) Secondly we have Anna Watson. Anna was a real estate agent by day, party girl by night. When she met Tom Watson, Rachel’s husband at the time, she wanted him; became the other woman; got pregnant and became the new wife. She dislikes Rachel and the disruption she brings as she continually plagues their life. As Anna is willing to do all she can to get rid of Rachel, can we actually believe what she says about her or is it just jealousy?

3) Last we have Megan HipwellMegan says right away that she is a liar and makes things up all the time, no one really knows who she is. Therefore, how can we trust a single sentence she utters? Her story is told in flashbacks, leading up to her disappearance and murder.

So I  decided to see the film, how did it hold up?

It works

Well………………………………………………………………………….

I don't like it 11

I thought the film was pretty horrible. It didn’t capture the thrills of the book, the language and screenplay was horrid; and they just inserted sex everywhere! I was furious! WHO WROTE THIS? It sucked!

fliptablesangrysurprised

So let’s count down what made this film so bad.

startrekletsgetstarted

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1) Setting

Macdonald-Elmers-Court-Resort-England

So they changed the location from England to New York and I thought that was a bad decision. First of all I’m tired of everything being New York, it is getting kind of boring. Besides that I thought England was a better choice as unlike America, Europe is so centered on trains. I also thought the weather and location added a certain suspense to everything.

fog

Plus the way the police interact and a lot of mannerisms; didn’t translate over as well to American. I mean there was Rachel’s obsession with her house that is very English, a type of Peril at End House that we have here, but not as strong.

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2) The Language

Thank-you-in-many-languages

The book was well written and crafted well in creating the story. The film, however, was not done well. I can’t believe the person who wrote this was paid any money, it was bad. Just F-bombs; no mystery, no suspense, nothing.

I don't like it 11

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3) Too Much Sex

did not need to see that

They trade out character development and actual plot to just show sex like every ten minutes. None of this was in the book, as it didn’t need that to be a good story. In fact the excessive sex just made the story weaker.

I mean when you watch the trailer they market it like 50 Shades of Gray. That was not what the book was about.

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4) Where was Anna?

thegirlonthetrain

So the book is split between three narrators, the film did well with two but Anna had hardly any character development. In fact she was barely even in the film. Why would they do that? She was a big part of the story?

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5) Surprises Revealed Too Early

really?

really?

So the book is a SUSPENSE. A THRILLER! You aren’t supposed to reveal things right away, they are supposed to be done slowly.

However, this film took all the thrills out early on. If you watch the trailer, the killer is revealed. They tell everything about Rachel’s reason for drinking, Megan’s secrets, etc.

It is like they wanted to do a drama instead of a thriller.

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6) Most of the Casting Choices were Horrible

So I disliked almost every actor they choose to play these characters. What were they thinking? Who was in charge of this? They should be fired.

Scott Hipwell

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In the book Scott was a wealthy IT consultant. He had a lot of money and could support the two of them, have a nice house in the country, and live off having to travel and work like once a week to twice a month. He was kind, handsome, charming, respectable, etc. You wanted to like him because Rachel did. Rachel believed in him and never thought of him being a killer or ever hurting his wife. He had to be someone you felt comfortable with, that way when Rachel realizes she has no idea who this guy really is, just who she imagines him to be, it takes on a real creepy tone.

In this, from the way he [Luke Evans] dresses and acts he seemed abusive and controlling. I never trusted him in the film as straight off the bat he acted and looked like someone who would hurt women. He never appeared trusting, kind, or gentle. He never appeared IT and their home looked barely lived in and worn. It just didn’t work and he didn’t work.

Tom Watson

thegirlonthetrain

So in the book, Rachel describes Tom as being strong, powerful, and having the shoulders that seemed like they could carry all their weights and burdens. He is remarried, but at the same time the way he treats Rachel is almost like Cousin Ashley in Gone With the Wind, keeping her on a string.

In this film, I was surprised that they picked Justin Theroux. He was small and made me think of a weasel. I never thought he seemed comforting or a good husband; he looked like a liar and a cheat the whole time. I thought he was a bad choice, as like Luke Evans, he just couldn’t create a sincere or kind facade.

Anna Watson

thegirlonthetrain

As said before, Anna was supposed to be party girl turned wife. In this she had no character development and the only bit we had was that she loved being a mom and thought it was the best thing any woman could do. We never heard about what she thought about their relationship, her hatred of Rachel, her needs, desires, etc.

Megan Hipwell

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I thought she was okay. They definitely played up the sexual angle, but didn’t focus on everything she went though to be who she was. All she was was a sex addict; not a grieving sister, former drug addict, bankrupt business owner, wife, friend, etc.Megan was much more complicated than just sex.

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The only thing I really liked was Emily Blunt as Rachel. She did extremely well in showing the emotional abuse and effects of alcohol. Good job, Emily!

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To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to He’s Married to a Corpse. He Has A Corpse Bride!: Corpse Bride (2005)

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For more films on disappearances, go to What Have We Done to Each Other?: Gone Girl (2014)

For more Emily Blunt, go to Beast or Man: The Wolfman (2010)

For more films based on books, go to That Face-I’ve Seen Her Before…: Let Me Call You Sweetheart (1997)

What Have You Done to Him?: Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

Rosemary's Baby

What have you done to him? What have you done to his eyes, you maniacs!

So this was my first viewing of Rosemary’s Baby. Prior to watching this I knew that the haircut Mia Farrow had in the film became super popular:

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That her baby is the devil’s child; and that the apartment where this all happens, the Bramhouse, is actually the Dakota; and that this film is supposed to be very scary.

i'mscared

In fact the way I was introduced to this film was actually through The Baby-Sitters Club. In one of the books, the BSC all go and visit Stacey McGill in New York, seeing the place where Stacey’s friend, Laine Cummings, lives which is the Dakota.

So let’s move on to the film review:

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So the film starts off with a creepy, light lullaby type music. In fact the first thing it actually makes me think of is Flowers in the Attic (1987). And it is definitely creepy.

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This film was based on a novel of the same name that came out the year before. The author, Ira Levinsaid that this was his favorite adaption of the novel, as the director Roman Polanski, was strict about following the book to the letter, only cutting for sake of time. This is the dream of every book lover.

Take note, rest of Hollywood.

Take note, rest of Hollywood.

We get a look at a building that has a clear gothic and early Renaissance look to it. Definitely an old building, probably made during the turn of the century. This is The Bramford, where our couple Rosemary and Guy Woodhouse are looking at the apartments.

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They are just a sweet, ordinary couple. Guy is an actor, while Rosemary doesn’t work but has amazing decorating and artistic talent. Rosemary really wants to have a baby, while Guy says they have to wait until they are “more established”. However, he did agree to move to a bigger apartment for their future child and them.

They look at the apartment, and Guy isn’t pleased. It is cram full of the prior tenant’s belongings, which are stuffed so full it is kind of ugly.

No thank youhowaboutno

Rosemary, on the other hand, sees the potential. With wallpaper, paint, new furnishings, it will be absolutely beautiful.

love it

The only strange thing about the apartment, is that there was a large chest put in front of one of the closet doors. The landlord and Guy move it aside and when they open it…

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just kidding. The only thing in it are a few linens and a vacuum cleaner.

weird

It is extremely weird. Why would anyone try to keep such random things locked inside?

There must be something she was trying to keep out, or keep in. In fact, it reminds me of The Twilight Zone episode where the guy has the devil locked in the closet. Is that what happened? The tenant was keeping the devil inside and they just unleashed them?

suspicious Hmm

They speak to their friend and landlord, Eric “Hutch” Hutchinson, to get out of their of lease. Hutch has been like a father to Rosemary since the couple has moved to New York. He warns them about the Bramford place. Back at the turn of the century, Adrian Marcato was a witch and had a coven in the building, he was murdered in the lobby. Then there were the Trench sisters, they killed children and tried to eat them. And these are only a few of the strange occurrences.

But they take the apartment and Rosemary makes it absolutely beautiful.

One day, Rosemary has gone down to the basement to do laundry. There she meets a girl, Terry, who has been saved and given a home by Guy & Rosemary’s neighbors, Roman and Minnie Castevet. Rosemary is looking for new friends and they make plans to meet up later. 

Now to me that seems odd. Why would they just take this girl off the streets. Is it really out of the goodness of their hearts? Or something darker?

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Before Terry and Rosemary can actually meet again, Guy and Rosemary come home from an evening out and find Terry’s dead body outside.

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Rosemary is sad and confused as Terry seemed so happy. She tells the Castevets that they meant a lot to Terry.

Now to me the Castevets don’t seem really sad over the death of their “adopted daughter”.

suspicious Hmm

The next day Minnie stops by to see Rosemary. She is super nosy looking at everything and every section of the apartment, she even goes as far as asking the price of everything.

How rude

She is so sad and lonely over missing Terry, and asks if Rosemary and Guy will come for dinner that night. Rosemary doesn’t really want to but feels bad and agrees.

Guy comes home and is very upset. He was auditioning for a few parts, prime ones to pull his career front and center, but lost out to every one.

Sadface Batman

He just wants to sit around and mope, but Rosemary tells him about the dinner they are supposed to go to. Guy doesn’t want to, as he doesn’t want to befriend their neighbors, then they will always be hanging around and bothering them.

But Rosemary made a promise, so they go.

Now the whole dinner is very odd. When Minnie invited them over, she made it sound like she needed a young woman to help temporary fill the space left by Terry’s absence. But at the actual dinner, they only want to pay attention to Guy.

Whattheheck

They go on and on and on about his acting, his good looks, his charms, etc.

The other strange thing is how anti-Christianity and religion they are. Like hard core being mean about it to Rosemary, even though they know that she is uncomfortable about their inflammatory remarks.

Roman Castevet: No pope ever visits a city where the newspapers are on strike.

Minnie Castevet: I heard he’s gonna postpone and wait till it’s over.

Guy Woodhouse: Well, that’s showbiz.

Roman Castevet: That’s exactly what it is: all the costumes, the rituals – all religions.

Roman Castevet: I think we’re offending Rosemary…

Rosemary Woodhouse: [Not very convincing] I wasn’t offended, really I wasn’t.

Roman Castevet: You’re not religious, my dear, are you?

Rosemary Woodhouse: I was brought up a Catholic… now, I don’t know.

Now believe what you want to believe in, but when you invite a guest to your home for dinner, you shouldn’t be as rude or insult the guest’s belief.

How rude

After dinner the ladies and men split. Minnie questions Rosemary, asking her if she is pregnant. Rosemary isn’t, but really wants a baby. She came from a large family, six kids, but once again Guy doesn’t want a baby. At least not yet.

She’s ready to go, and they interrupt the men, Guy was surprisingly having a great time with Roman.

weird

When they get home they discuss the dinner, with Rosemary saying that the food tasted weird, and left a strange taste in her mouth. Guy agrees, but he ate twice as much food as Rosemary. Surprisingly, Guy wants to go back the next day and hangout with Roman. Rosemary doesn’t want to, so they kind of fight about it.

The next day Roman goes over there while Rosemary settles for a quiet night in, nursing her period pains.

No joke this enters m mind every month

Her quiet solitude is destroyed when Minnie comes over with her friend Laura-Louise. They just settle in without even asking, knitting, embroidering, and gabbing.

How rude

I would have had them kicked out. I mean what annoying busybodies.

They also give her a necklace of Tannis root, it’s supposed to be a good-luck charm. It was the same one Terry wore, so I don’t think it is that lucky as Terry died.

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So the film originally kept the devil impregnating Rosemary a secret, as a huge reveal at the end. Unfortunately, it was a major blockbuster, an award-winning film: so it has been referenced, parodied, is a huge part of our culture and always cropping up around Halloween. Even if you haven’t seen the film, you know Rosemary carries the devil’s baby. I mean it is mentioned in the Netflix description. So I am not going to ignore that.

So let’s talk about Guy.

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Guy is a struggling actor who really wants to hit it big. We don’t know how long he has been in New York, but he is very upset at how little his career has progressed.

Roman has come along and started flattering Guy, making him feel super special. He promises that he can achieve all of Guy’s dreams, if he joins their coven, and allows Rosemary to be used as the vessel for Satan’s child. They need the opposite of Mary: not a virgin, married, not Jewish, etc. And Guy agrees.

Whattheheck

I guess for someone as self-centered as Guy is, he can rationalize it. This small trade will enable him and Rosemary will have a fantastic life. And it is only one child, they can have more later. I can just say one thing:

No thank youhowaboutno

You do not sell your wife to be a vessel, especially for the devil’s child. Just no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!!

Jerk

That night, Rosemary shows Guy the good-luck charm and how she doesn’t want to wear it. But Guy insists, he starts hanging around with Roman and Minnie more and more. I just think, who is this guy?

weird

That night they get a call:

LOL Cotton and Cotton

It turns out that the guy chosen for one of the parts Guy auditioned for, has gone blind.

Whattheheck

So they offer Guy the part. Soon Guy is riding high, with everyone after him. He now has no time for Rosemary, with all his other commitments.

jerk

Rosemary is sad and mentions  it to Hutch when the two talk on the phone.

One day, Guy comes homes with roses. He is sorry and wants to make it up to Rosemary, telling her that he wants to have a baby.

Whattheheck

Who is this man, what has he become? I mean he even picks out the day they should try for their baby, October 4th or 5th.

Rosemary is just so happy that he is open to having children that she agrees! She can’t wait until they have a little baby.

The appointed night comes, with Guy making it a very special, romantic night.

rosemarys-baby

As they are eating, guess who shows up at the door. Minnie.

ugh

She just drops off some mousse she made and then leaves, fortunately. They start eating it but Rosemary quickly stops. It taste funny to her and she doesn’t want it.

No thank youhowaboutno

But Guy insists. Guy has become a super control freak, I would have left to the safety of Hutch, surrogate father, rather than stay with this guy.

Anyways, when Guy steps out of the room, Rosemary dumps the mousse in her napkin, rather than eat it.

EW!

EW!

Afterwards, she is walking to the other room and faints.

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Guy carries her to the bed so she can rest. She then has one incredibly strange dream.

Super creepy!

Gilmore girls creep

The next day Rosemary wakes up and discovers herself naked and covered in scratches.

what what'shappeningSupernatural

She tells Guy her dream of being raped, and he says that he couldn’t help himself and give up on baby night.

Rosemary Woodhouse: You… you had me while I was out?

Guy Woodhouse: It was kinda fun in a necrophile sort of way

Say What

This guy is freak, get far, far, far away.

Certified Creepo Ribbon

So Rosemary goes to the doctor and discovers that she is pregnant. She tells Guy who doesn’t seem that excited. Kind of weird for a guy who “wanted a baby so much he couldn’t wait but slept with her when she was knocked out.”

suspicious Hmm

 Her due date is June 28th of the next year, 1966. Get it? 6/66?

Although it doesn’t make exact sense. 9 months from October is July, wouldn’t it make more sense if they tried for the baby in September?

So Rosemary has been going to see Dr. Hill, the doctor who delivered her friend’s baby; but Minnie, Roman, and Guy want them to see their doctor: Dr. Abraham Sapirstein.

Dr. n tells Rosemary not to take prenatal vitamins, read any pregnancy books, or talk to her friends about her and their pregnancies as each one is different and they will worry her. She also will have to take herb shakes made by Minnie.

paris-whenitsizzlesaudreyhmmHepburn

I don’t know, that seems too weird for me. I wouldn’t trust them. These people all become controlling, and won’t let her go out or speak to any of her friends.

Rosemary is also in excruciating pain, and losing massive amounts of weight. She actually looks quite horrible, no glow.

anthony-michael-hall-brian-insecure-quotes-the breakfast club see myself don't like what i see insecure body image

Hutch comes to visit and tells her she looks bad. They are discussing the strangeness of everything, when suddenly Guy comes home in full, makeup, something he never does. He kind of chases off Hutch so it is only the two of them.

suspicious Hmm

Why is he suddenly against Hutch. Why is he suddenly against all their friends? Hmm????

That night Rosemary gets a call from Hutch.

dangerous crossingphoneringsscared

He wants to meet the next morning as he has something important to discuss with her.

The next morning she goes to the appointment place, but no Hutch. When she calls after waiting so long, she finds out that Hutch is in a coma. It happened some time after she called.

IUnderstandSomelieithot

She walks around when she runs into Minnie:

So the film moves along pretty sloooow. The people are controlling, she doesn’t go out, suffers all the time, etc. She finally starts thinking something is weird, ad stops the herbal drinks. She makes her own and decides that they are going to throw a party with their old friends.

christmas-holiday-party-with-dancing

Guy doesn’t want to, and gets mad that Minnie and Roman are not invited. Minnie tries to get invited, but Rosemary is firm..no one under the age of 60 is allowed.

No thank youhowaboutno

It comes to a head at the party when she talks to her friends about her pains and they tell her it is not normal. She needs to get a second opinion. Guy is not happy about that at all.

Guy Woodhouse: [on Rosemary’s decision to switch doctors] You know what Dr. Hill is? He’s a Charlie Nobody, that’s who he is!

Rosemary Woodhouse: I’m tired of hearing about how great Dr. Sapirstein is!

Guy Woodhouse: Well, I won’t let you do it Ro.

Rosemary Woodhouse: Why not?

Guy Woodhouse: Well, because… because it wouldn’t be fair to Sapirstein.

Rosemary Woodhouse: Not fair to Sap… – what do you mean? What about what’s fair to me?

Yeah! You SHOULD CARE MORE ABOUT YOUR WIFE!!!! NOT SOME DOCTOR’S FEELINGS!!!

Guy you suck!

Guy you suck!

However, the pain stops and she can feel the baby kicking. Everything proceeds normally as they all get ready for the baby. Their peace is shattered when Rosemary receives a call that Hutch died.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

I loved Hutch, why’d he have to go?

She goes to the funeral, where she is given a book left to her by Hutch.

Grace Cardiff: He told me to make sure and tell you: the name is an anagram.

When she gets home she opens the package and sees that it is a book on witches, “All of Them Witches“, with a chapter on Adrian Marcato and his family.

Rosemary tries to rearrange the title, but comes up with nothing.

Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

She is about to give up that it was just his being in a coma, when she looks at the chapter on Marcato’s family, specifically his son Steven. When she rearranges those letters, it comes up with Roman Castevet.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She starts talking about it with Guy that they are witches, and all those people are in their coven.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

Guy thinks she is insane, and needs sleep so he takes the book and throws it away.

Whattheheck

YOU DO NOT THROW AWAY BOOKS!!!!

Rosemary is incensed so she goes to the bookstore and gets another copy and another book on witchcraft. She discovers that some covens can work together and create blindness or illness if they have an object of the person.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

Rosemary remembers the guy who Guy took the part from. She calls Donald Baumgart and discovers that before he went blind, Guy took his tie.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She remembers that the day Hutch came over, he was missing a glove. Guy must have stolen it and they killed him.

She also reads that many covens use baby’s blood in their activities.

Rosemary freaks out:

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She packs her bag and takes off to see the doctor to let him know what is going on. However, when she gets there she discovers that the doctor is a witch too.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

She takes off to get help from the only person she can think of now, Dr. Hill.

She manages to get Hill to meet with her and reveals everything. Hill seems to believe her, which I thought was weird.

suspicious Hmm

And puts her to sleep.

She wakes up to see Guy and Dr. Saperstein.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

They bring her home, but she manages to sneak away from them and get in the apartment first, locking the door and dead bolting it behind her. She calls her friend Elise, trying to get help as everyone is after her baby:

dangerous crossingphoneringsscared

However, they somehow sneak into the apartment room some way. Unfortunately, she goes into labor and then is knocked out.

The next day, Guy wakes her up.

WakeUpNoThankYou

She asks for her baby, but they tell her he died. They give her a pill, and take her milk “to throw away”.

aw cry

Rosemary is completely heartbroken. And then she hears a baby crying.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

They tell her that it is from a new family, but Rosemary knows that her baby is alive and they took him.

She slowly is a docile person, waiting for the right time to night sneak away when everyone thinks she is sleeping. She takes a knife with her for protection.

rosemary'sbabyknife

She goes to the closet that was blocked by the dresser, there she finds a secret door.

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A door that connects to the Castevet’s apartment. That must be how they got in!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poor girl. How could her husband do that to her? How could this happen?

I have to say most of the film was kind of slow and boring, as I already knew those people were evil, but once she found that book on witches it was great. Intense and creepy! A good addition to my Halloween Horror films.

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rosemarys-baby-3_fotor

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To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to She’s Been Totally Different…Like Stepford: Ted, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997)

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For more on witches, go to The Two Witch Sisters: Double, Double, Toil and Trouble (1993)

For more films based on books, go to She Cries in the Night: The Screaming Skull (1958)

A FANtastic Voyage

FANGIRLJackSparrowPiratesoftheCaribbean

Yes…

im-back

My Fangirl posts are back! You see I had to take a break from them for my Romance is in the Air: Part III posts as I counted down to Valentines Day with my favorite romantic moments from films. I would have started again on the 15th, but I realized that was the 30th anniversary of The Breakfast Club, and decided that I had to do a post on that.

So here we are once again going through some of the things that I hardcore fangirl over.

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Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman

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I haven’t seen this show in a long time but it used to be a real favorite of mine. When I was growing up, my mom loved this show and we would watch it together. I had a huge thing for Byron Sully (Joe Lando).

So Dr. Michaela “Mike” Quinn (Jane Seymour) is a wealthy, Bostonian, physician. In the series start (1867), Dr. Quinn is tired of the way people treat a “woman doctor”, and decides to leave for the West. She settles in Colorado Springs, Colorado; and finds life much tougher then she realized. Byron Sully, rugged outdoorsman and friend to the Cheyenne, helps her settle in and the two end up falling for each other. She also receives help from a midwife, but when she is bitten by a rattlesnake and dies; Dr. Quinn finds herself taking on the role as mother as she raises the midwife’s children; Matthew, Colleen, and Brian. Now Dr. Quinn is trying to adjust to the West, figure out how to take care of three children who just lost their mother, and prove to the world that a “woman doctor” is a real doctor.

I loved this as I loved Westerns, and Dr. Quinn becoming a doctor in a world that didn’t really wish to accept it was empowering.

For more Westerns, go to Fandom Love

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Gargoyles

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Gargoyles was a TV show I grew up watching as a kid and was super into. My friends and I would go around reenacting the show and creating our own stories.

It’s a little hard to give a synopsis of the show, but I’ll give it my best shot. In 10th century Scotland, Gargoyles work to defend their castle. They are statues during the day, but as soon as night falls they are able to roam about. They saved Prince Malcolm, who in turn built them a castle where they could rest in the day promising to protect them. Years later his daughter Princess Katherine is in control and she hates the gargoyles. She is betrayed by someone she trusts to the Vikings, who attack in the day and destroy all the gargoyles…or at least the think they do. Unknown to them, Goliath, the leader, survived along with a few of his friends. They return to kill the Vikings and the betrayer, discovering it was a close friend. Their arrival causes the Viking leader to take away Princess Katherine, intent on killing her. Believing Princess Katherine dead, her advisor curses them, turning all but Goliath into stone. He returns with the Princess, who demands the advisor change them back. He can’t, but turns Goliath into stone, so he can be reunited with his friends.

A hundred years later, a wealthy businessman, Xanatos, finds the castle and has it transported to New York City, building it on top of his skyscraper and  causing it to rise above the clouds, breaking the spell. The Gargoyles try to adapt to this new world, eventually teaming up with the biracial (Nigerian and Native American) NYPD detective. They also discover there is more to Xantos then they thought, that more of their kind exist then thought before, and a huge melding of mythology, Shakespeare, magic, sorcery, etc.

My favorite characters of the series was Goliath and he was just so awesome, brave, stoic, brooding, bold, etc. I also loved his daughter Angela, who was sweet and nice.

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Hercules: The Legendary Journeys 

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When I was a child I loved reading mythology and fairy tales. One that I was really into was the Greek myths and reading the stories of the gods and goddess. As one of my favorite characters was Hercules, this show was perfect for me.

The show was based on the Greek myths, but also borrowed stories and features from Egyptians, Middle Easterns, Asians, and Medieval Europe. I used to watch this every day after school and I just thought it was amazing.

Of course, that all had to do with Hercules. Not only did I think Hercules was extremely attractive (I had a real thing for guys with long hair for a while), but stoic, brave, kind, and altogether one amazing guy. I was really sad when it ended, but as we all know the good shows don’t last forever.

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Lord of the Rings

LordOfTheRings

 

So I LOVE Lord of the Rings!

love it

Yep, I’m a hardcore Lord of the Rings fangirl.

LordoftheRings

Thank you Ed

It’s funny, but in the beginning I was set against it. My mom had been reading in the newspaper about Peter Jackson’s upcoming film and wanted to see it. My sister agreed as she was like free ticket, but I was not so sure. Some guy with a ring that only he could control and destroy (that’s what the synopsis sounded like) in a three hour film? It seemed done before, boring, and long. So they went and I stayed home. When they came back they were ecstatic about the film and said my dad and I would have to come with. I wasn’t interested, but forced. When we got to the theater and started watching it, I LOVED IT!!! From that moment on Lord of the Rings had entered my fandom.

My parents read the books right away but I just enjoyed the films for awhile. In The Fellowship of the Ring, Bilbo Baggins, a hobbit, has been holding onto a ring for many, many years. Bilbo is planning on going on a trip, taking the ring along, when his friend Gandalf the Grey (a wizard), visited for his birthday and spotted it with him. He convinces him to leave it behind with everything for his nephew Frodo Baggins, and Bilbo is on his way. Gandalf feels unease about the ring and leaves it with Frodo, while he goes off to investigate. Gandalf returns after he has discovered that ring belonged to the dark lord Sauron. It was supposed to be destroyed, but when he was defeated the king took the ring instead. It was moved about as every where it went it’s owner was killed or murdered. Eventually Gollum found it, and it was then stolen by Bilbo who has been sitting on it for years. Gandalf quickly moves Frodo out, unwillingly taking along Bilbo’s gardener, Samwise Gamgee, and Frodo’s relatives Peregrin Took (Pipin), and Meriadoc Brandybuck (Merry). The group splits off from Gandalf and are set to meet up with him, after Gandalf questions his old teacher Saruman, who unbeknownst to Gandalf has become evil. Frodo is anxious that they still haven’t seen Gandalf, and end up receiving help from Strider (Viggo Mortenson) a ranger. I loved Viggo Mortenson so much in this film. I thought he was amazing, brave, bold, and utterly handsome.

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He turns out to be Aragorn, the true king of Gondor who was sent to live with the elves for his safety. He sets them off for Lothlórien to the elves. While the head out they are attacked by the Nazgul. They run away to Lothlórien where Frodo is saved by the elves. There they form a fellowship to protect Frodo and the ring, making sure they get it to Mount Doom, the only place it can be destroyed. The group is the hobbits: Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pipin; the wizard Gandalf; Gimli the dwarf; Legolas the elf; Aragorn; and the steward of Gondor’s son Boromir. They head out facing many challenges along the way.

The Two Towers is the next part of the tale. In this the fellowship has been split up. Frodo took off on his own, but not quite as Sam won’t let him. They journey on to Mordor guided by Golem, who wants his ring back. Gandalf sacrificed himself for the group when they were in the Mines of Moria, but turns out is not dead. He has been returned as Gandalf the White, the highest form a wizard can be. Merry and Pipin were taken by Orcs in the last film, and they are being carried to Mordor. When the Orcs fight between the old creations and newer ones, they manage to escape and go into Fangorn Forest. There they meet up with the Ents, the tree shepherds. Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli have been tracking Merry and Pipin to save them and run into Gandalf. He tells them to not worry about Pipin and Merry they will be safe with the Ents, but takes them onto Rohan to help protect the country and save their king in a battle against Saruman.

Return of the King is the last in the series and my favorite. In fact I waited for when this film was released on DVD and bought it immediately. In this we have the final battle between good and evil. Frodo and Sam have been split up, as Golem and the ring have poisoned his mind. He ends up being attacked by a giant creature and captured, taken to Mordor. Gandalf and Pipin have gone to Gondor, as it is being attacked by Sauron’s forces. Rohan is going to send their aid, being led by Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli. But there is a surprise, the elf Elrond has come to the battle, bringing the Andúril, the sword from the first fight, that was broken and then reforged. He sends Aragorn into the mountains to bring in an army of the dead. This movie was awesome and it is one that I can watch over and over again.

Now I love to do marathons

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So my sister and I have done Lord of the Rings quite a few times. One time though, we decided we were going to do all the extended versions. It was an intense, all-day thing. It was a whole lot of fun.

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At a book sale I bought all the three books. The Fellowship of the Ring and The Return of the King were both the movie editions, but my copy of Two Towers is from the ’70s. Anyways I read the books and I think they did a great job bringing the characters to life in the film. Here are my only issues with the books and film, now after reading them.

The Fellowship of the Ring-I thought the film version did the best with this book. The book spans a lot more time, for instance Frodo has the ring for years before Gandalf returns, which they cut out. There also is a lot of extra stuff I am glad they cut, such as when Frodo spends years in Tom Bombadil’s perfect paradise of a forest. I would have cut that from the whole book as it was SUPER boring. The only thing I wish they included was the part when the elf Galadriel gives each member of the fellowship a gift.

The Two Towers-I thought this was good too, film and movie. In the movie the elves come to fight like in the original battle, but they weren’t supposed to come until the last book. I think it would have been better symmetry if they had, but no big qualms with book or film.

The Return of the King– In the book J.R.R. Tolkien goes through each person’s story all the way to the end, and then moves onto the next character. I liked in the movie how they switch back and forth, as when you read you are really curious what happens to this specific character, but also want to know what happened to everyone else. Like Sir Walter Scott’s Ivanhoe. In that he had so many characters involved and in their many adventures, but switches between them all so we get a better picture as to what is occurring at the same time. The effects, set up, and whole film was amazing! The only thing I might have added was more depth to Faramir and Eowyn’s romance, as we only get a few glimpses. Also Saruman has had his fingers all over Middle Earth causing destruction. When Merry, Pipin, Frodo, and Sam return, they have to battle for the Shire to save it from Saruman. That was cut from the film, but it would have been cool to have it in.

On a whole they did an amazing job! J.R.R. Tolkien in his writing and Peter Jackson with his films.

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For more on Lord of the Rings, go to Food, Food, Food!

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Madeleine L’Engle

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Madeleine L’Engle is one of my favorite writers. I started reading her books when I was a kid, and have loved them ever since. Even though the ones below are considered Children’s Fiction or Teen Fiction; I still read them over and over and over again.  HowABookTouchesYou

So Madeleine L’Engle is a Christian writer, but she likes to cover lots of other things in her books as well: science, philosophy, politics, music, poetry, literature, ethics, etc. All of her books carry really heavy subjects that just make them even more enjoyable. Below I have listed all the books of hers that I have read, in the order I think is the best to read them in.

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A Wrinkle in Time– This is the book that started the whole time quartet series. In this book the Murry family has moved to New England in recent times. Many people are wary of them as both Mr. and Mrs. Murry are scientists. Mr. Murry is often called upon to go to Washington D.C for the President or Pentagon. He left for a trip about a year ago, and has yet to return. Many think he abandoned the family, but his wife and children have faith that he will return. Meg is the eldest, she wears glasses and braces and thinks herself unattractive.

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She has a lot of problems making friends as she has a temper, she also has issues in school as the math is too far below her. After Meg are the twins, Alexander (Sandy) and Dionysus (Dennys). Both the twins excel in sports, school, and friendship. Last is Charles Wallace, only five years old and a genius. He tries to hide it, but still can’t pass off being “normal.”

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One dark and stormy night; three women come in with the wind and set Meg, Charles Wallace, and a popular boy from school, Calvin O’Keefe on quite the adventure. Mrs. Which, Mrs. Who, and Mrs,Whatsit tells the trio that they need them in order to save Mr. Murry who is caught in the 5th dimension. This adventure takes them on a ride through psychics, time travel, tessering, and other planets.

This book was also turned into a film that was pretty good and had the cute guy from Everwood playing Calvin O’Keefe.

A Wind in the Door– This is a sequel to A Wrinkle in Time. Calvin and Meg are friends and romantically interested in each. Things aren’t perfect; their father is still called away on long trips, Meg still gets into trouble at school, and Charles is still picked on; but they seem to be better. That is until they notice that something is going wrong with Charles Wallace. He seems paler, more tired, and just not himself. When Charles Wallace tells Meg he has seen dragons in the garden, she really becomes worried. But these dragons are actually a Cherubim sent there to help Meg defeat the Echthroi who are trying to erase the universe. Meg, Calvin, the cherubim, and her principal Mr. Jenkins find themselves on an adventure through the town, plants, and into Charles’ mitochondria.

Many Waters– This is actually the fourth book in the series, but reads better as the third book. In this Sandy and Dennys, who had heard of their siblings crazy adventures, find themselves going on their own trip through time! When the boys accidentally mess with their father’s experiment in the lab, they find themselves sent back to the time of Noah, right before he builds his ark for the coming flood. There they encounter the biblical figures along with manticores, unicorns, Nephilum, and Seraphim.

A Swiftly Tilting Planet– In this book Meg is grown up, married to Calvin, and pregnant with their first child. The twins are now a lawyer and a doctor. Charles Wallace is a teenager, but still as advanced as ever. They are celebrating Thanksgiving, (minus Calvin as he got held up in conference in England), with Calvin’s mother Mrs. O’Keefe. That night there are threats of Vespugia’s leader, Mad Dog Branzillo, starting nuclear warfare and WWIII. As Charles Wallace goes to the garden, he meets up with the unicorn Gaudior. Gaudior was sent to help Charles travel through time and meld with different historical figures in order to change the past, so that they might change the future. This is one of my all-time favorites of her series.

Meet the Austins– This is a different series, but as all of hers connect and crossover, it makes a lot of sense to start reading it now. Mr. Austin is a country doctor in New England. He and his wife have four kids: John, Vicky, Susie, and Rob and an assortment of animals. They live a contented life, but that all changes when a family friend dies. The Austins quickly welcome the orphaned daughter, Maggy, into their home and she causes all kinds of chaos and uproar. Will their lives ever be the same again?

The Moon By Night– Book two brings radical changes for the Austin family. Maggy, who has become a daughter and sister, is leaving them to be with her legal guardian. John is heading off to college, and the Austins are moving to New York for a year. Before the move, they head out for a cross-country trip of the United States. Vicky should be happy and having fun, but instead finds the changes unsettling, along with trying to figure out who she is. She meets a boy named Zachary Gray, who is so unlike her, and confuses her on what friendship and love are.

The Arm of the Starfish- Adam Eddington III has wanted to be a marine biologists for a very long time. Every summer he has interned with a doctor that lives near his grandma’s home, but this year he has received a much different post. This year he will be interning in Portugal, under the guidance of Dr. O’Keefe (Calvin O’Keefe from the A Wrinkle in Time series). On his way there, he meets a beautiful girl at the airport, Kali, who warns him that Dr. O’Keefe is not as nice as he seems, but working against his government. She asks him to spy on Dr. O’Keefe for her father. Adam is unsure of what to do, and when he boards his plane, ends up running into Polly O’Keefe, Dr. O’Keefe’s daughter, and her godfather Canon Tallis. Adam quickly finds this summer being more than he bargained for as he is caught up in a world of science, espionage, and double agents. Adam doesn’t know who to trust as the more time he spends with the O’Keefe’s the more he likes them, while at the same time every moment he spends with Kali is better than the one before.

The Young Unicorns- The Austins have moved to New York and encounter a much different world. They rent the top part of an old Victorian house. Below them lives Emily, the daughter of a Greek professor, and recently blinded in a robbery gone wrong. They also have befriended Dave, an ex-gang member and now Emily’s tutor; along with Mr. Theotocopoulos, Emily’s piano teacher. The Austins find themselves caught in a horrible plot as people are after the invention that Dr. Austin is working on and are not afraid to use any means necessary to obtain it. Someone is trying to control the city as they have orginized the gang, the Alpha-Bats (Dave’s old group) and preparing them for a battle. Canon Tallis is called in by his old friend to discover who could be the head of the group, and whether it could be coming from one of the leaders of the Catholic Church.

A Ring of Endless Light- The year in New York has ended and the Austin’s will be returning home after one more stop. Vicky’s grandfather is very sick, so the Austins plan on staying that summer on the small island he resides on. John also happens to be interning there for the summer, introducing the Austins to his newest friend, Adam Eddington III. Vicky and Adam become very close, with Vicky helping assist him in his project with dolphins. However, Adam is still reeling from the betrayal that occurred in Portugal and isn’t getting as close to her as Vicky would like. Also, Zachary Gray returns on the scene, once again bringing trouble, confusion, and questions in Vicky’s life.

This was also turned into a movie: starring Mischa Barton as Vicky, Ryan Merriman as Adam, and Jared Padalecki as Zachary. It was a DCOM so sadly it is hard to find a copy of this film.

Troubling a Star- The last of the Austin series. The Austins (minus John) have returned home to New England countryside. Everyone has been able to bounce back but Vicky. She finds it hard to relate after all her adventures and changes. Adam introduces her to his Aunt Serena, who Vicky immediately becomes close to. Adam is planning on going to Antarctica for a semester, and for Vicky’s birthday, Serena plans on sending Vicky as well. Vicky is excited for her trip, but also worried as Adam’s letters become cold, closed off, and eventually stop altogether. Vicky is sad, but concentrates on her trip; finding herself caught in political intrigue and an age-old unsolved mystery.

Dragons in the Waters- When thirteen year-old Simon Renier boards the M.S. Orion with his cousin Forsyth Phair, he has no idea what he is getting himself into. A trip that is supposed to be easy and beautiful; taking a painting of Simon Bolivar back to its native land, turns out to be anything but; as murder, political intrigue, smuggling, and a century old secret turn this trip into one exciting adventure. Simon tries to solve the case with the help of Polly and Charles O’Keefe (who are traveling with their father), Mr. Theotocopoulos (who is traveling to see Emily perform) and Canon Tallis.

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For the previous fandom post, go to A Fantabulous Post

And stay tuned for part 10

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For more book filled posts, go to The Biggest Bill You Should Be Paying

For more on Disney, go to Well I Feel Sheepish: Chinese New Year

For more of my favorite quotes, go to Helping Hands

For more Pirates of the Caribbean, go to Push All the Buttons!