They Look Like Regular People, So No One Except Us Knows They’re Monsters Inside.: R.I.P.D. (2013)

Until they pop, they look like regular people, so no one except us knows they’re monsters inside. You see, if you slip through the cracks, and stay on Earth after you die, your soul rots. They rot, the world rots. Global warming, black plague, bad cell reception, get it?

I was processing the new items for the library and I came across this film. This film is extremely memorable to me, not because I liked it-I actually couldn’t remember much about it-but because of what it symbolizes to me-friendship.

Yes, when this film came out I was dating someone, but I made time for my friends while was dating.

Yes, it seems like most people when they get in a new relationship throw their friends on the back-I, however, went to the movies when my friend Sarah wanted to go see this. As you can tell it really bugs me when people get in a relationship and drop everyone else.

I’m so angry!

Anyways, all I could remember of it was that and that I didn’t really care for it. Will I like it the second time?

Ugh, who green lighted this film? It was soooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad.

It was so awful!

Basically, Ryan Reynolds plays a dirty Boston cop, Nick, who stole gold from a crime scene. The guilt is eating at him, so he decides he will face up to it, but before he can, his unit gets called out on a drug bust with possible gunfire.

After they take care of everything, his partner Hayes, played by Kevin Bacon, shoots him in the face.

Ryan Nick is dead and wakes up on the other side. He was going to enter Heaven, but because of his actions, he has to work off time before he can be considered entering heaven. As he was a police officer in real life, he gets added to the RIPD staff-Rest in Peace Department.

That’s not good.

This reminds me a lot of Toothless, except Toothless was better. In Toothless the dentist was a good person but self-centered and never took time to do anything for anyone else. To work off her time in limbo she has to do the only job that she as a formal dentist can do-be the Tooth Fairy. So you really should get a job you will love as you might have to be doing that for the rest of eternity.

So Ryan Nick is the new one on the force and paired up with Roy, Jeff Bridges, who sounds as if he just went to the dentist. I don’t know if he was trying to emulate Sam Elliot or what, but his “accent” sounds soooooooooooo bad.

They have to recapture souls that are trying to stay on Earth, as when the soul rots it can destroy the world. They both go throughout Boston, but look different to people-this is so Ryan Nick can’t be disturbing his wife. When we have these scenes, they are the best parts of the movie.

This is my favorite part:

The rest of the movie is just meh as Ryan Reynolds really didn’t seem into his part. He kind of seemed to just be treading water.

Jeff Bridges went all in, but it wasn’t enough to save the film.

I wouldn’t!!

I’d give it a hard pass as it isn’t really worth your time, although Kevin Bacon does good as the villain.

Pass on it!

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning go to, Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more ghosts, go to It Feels So Good to See the Bad Guys Scared for a Change: Hangman’s Curse (2003)

For more Kevin Bacon, go to Camp Blood: Friday the 13th (1980)

For more Nostalgia Critic, go to What the H*** Are You? I’m a Leprechaun, Me Dear: Leprechaun (1993)

I Can’t Pretend, I Have to Be: Casual Sex? (1988)

Most Romantic Moment #1

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So you are probably wondering what am I doing watching this movie, well it wasn’t really the one I wanted. You see I was at Big Lots and they were having a 20% everything sale. That sounded great to me, so I went and looked around. I found a DVD set for $4, of which three were Michael J. Fox films and the other two were ones I had never heard of.

AWESOME!!!

AWESOME!!!

Well you all know how I feel about Michael J. Fox

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I love him, so this seemed like a deal too good to pass up.

So my friend and I were watching some of the films, when we decide to check out this one, Casual Sex?, as we both like Lea Thompson.

I have to admit this movie surprised me a lot. It was rated “R” but didn’t really show anything, you know nothing like Game of Thrones, and actually dealt with the issues of sex. How you can get diseases, pregnant, sometimes the person just wants you for the sex, how sometimes you get involved with a person and they turn out to be nothing like you expect; and how hard it can be to meet anyone whether you desire sex or a relationship. It was pretty good.

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So the film is about two women, Stacey and Michelle, who have not had the best luck in love.

ouch Hermione

Stacey is constantly falling for artists, of which she not only changes herself for them but they always leave her in the lurch.

Melissa has only been with two men, and the second one, her ex-fiancé broke up with her as he was “going through a selfish phase.” Ugh, Men.

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The girls decide to leave the LA area and head on some kind of getaway in hopes to meet the perfect man.

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They decide to head to a health spa in which they meet a variety of possibilities. There is Vinny “the Vin Man” from New Jersey who hits on everybody and is always talking about his “attributes.”

Person hate talking

Jamie, one of the spa workers who seems sweet and caring:

You're so cute

Matthew, a psychologist, who is looking for material for his newest book on psycho-sexual tendencies of pre-menopausal females.

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And Nick, a fitness instructor who dreams of becoming a rock star.

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Will the girls find the man of their dreams? Or will they be disappointed once again?

NevermeetamanIcouldLove

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Most Romantic Moment: From Vin Man to Vincent

So the most romantic moment comes from the most unlikely source, Vincent otherwise known as Vinny or the Vin Man.

Vincent is from New Jersey, a pre Michael “The Situation”. He is gross, annoying, and just doesn’t understand that women are not interested in crudity.

Men

Men

However, as he keeps striking out with the women, one of the spa instructors gives him a book, The Pretend You’re Sensitive Handbook.

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He tries it out on Stacey, but as she has her own stuff going on she wants nothing to do with it.

Vinny: Stacy, how nice to see you. Do you have a few minutes? I mean, it occurred to me, I don’t even know where you work.

Stacy: Where I work?

Vinny: Yeah, you know, your career plans, your dreams, your aspirations… I really want to hear all about them.

Stacy: What I want? I don’t even know — ask me what anyone else wants. Give me three seconds, I’ll figure out your whole entire life.

Vinny: Would you maybe want to share something with me about your childhood, perhaps?

Stacy: Vinny, what the hell are you talking about? I’m in a big rush. Look, I have to go talk to Melissa, because if I don’t figure out something about my life soon, I’m going to crack!

Vinny: I respect your strength, Stacy, and I think you’ve got a lot of potential!

After striking out once again, Vinny runs to the spa instructor and tells him that he can’t do this. He can’t pretend, he has to be it. He decides to leave, catching a ride with Stacey to the bus stop. There we see a look at the real Vinny as he asks Stacey for advice. He wants to have a real relationship with a woman; like a friendship but more, but doesn’t know what to do. What do women want?

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She doesn’t have the answers and drops him off at the bus station. We think that is the last of him, but then we are given this surprise.

Stacy: [reading] ‘Dear Stacy, I hope you don’t mind me writing to you…

 Yes, Vinny writes Stacy a letter and tells her about how his life has been changing. He wants to be a different person, but no more pretending, he’s going all the way. He starts reading books,

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Cooking, changing his wardrobe to more appropriate clothing (and no more super “Vs” showing off the chest,

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Giving up all those aspects of the Vin Man and transforming himself, from the inside out, into a new person, Vincent.

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The sweetest, most romantic thing about this is that he made all these changes on his own, no “promise of getting the girl”, no other motivation than he wanted to be better and strove for it, turning himself from jerk to heartthrob. And once he feels his change is complete, he travels from Jersey to LA to see Stacy and prove that he is not only a new man, but ready for a real relationship.

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What a guy!

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For more Valentine’s posts, go to Now That I’ve Met You, I Can’t Imagine Life Without You: Sabrina (1954)

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For more ’80s films, go to We’re in the Future: Goodbye 2015

For more Jane Austen quotes, go to We Wish You a Merry Christmas