Will Someone Come to Rescue Us?: Train to Busan (2016)

Will someone come to rescue us?

My sister saw this years earlier and recommended we watch it as she knows I like horror films. I’m not a big zombie film person as I like a certain type of zombie, but she assured me I would like this one and I most certainly did.

The thing I really enjoyed about this Korean films is that it is a throwback to previous zombie films like Night of the Living Dead, where you have a group of people from all different walks of life that are trapped in a location and have to try and find a way work together and overcome their foes, for better or worse. And as always when you are in a group of strangers there are a lot more “worse”.

Ugh…these people

The film starts off with the overworked businessman Seok-woo (Gong Yoo). Seok-woo’s constant working has been a bone of contention with his family as it is one of the reasons he and his wife separated. His daughter, Su-an’s, birthday is the next day and not only has he forgotten it, but he also does not want to grant her wish: take her to Busan to visit her mother. Seok-woo’s mother won’t hear of it and lays on the guilt, also showing him a video when Su-an couldn’t sing due to stage fright and being alone.

After watching the video Seok-woo gives in and takes the day off; planning to take Su-an on the train to Busan.

The next day the passengers load the train, we have Seok-woo, Su-an, Sang-hwa (Ma Dong-seok) and his pregnant wife Seong-kyeong (Jung Yu-mi), COO Yon-suk, a high school baseball team (including player Yong-guk and his cheerleader girlfriend Jin-hee), elderly sisters In-gil and Jong-gil, and a homeless man who stowaways hiding in the bathroom.

As the train starts an ill woman gets on board. When someone tries to help her she bites them, having been carrying the zombie disease, one that quickly spreads through the train.

That’s not good.

Our group is able to lock down their area and cover the windows with newspaper as these zombies don’t have the best vision. The plan is to ride the train to Daejeon station where the military will meet then and they can hopefully help them. However, I’ve seen enough of these films, I have no hope that the military will be of any help, most likely they have already fallen victim.

When they get to the station, Seok-Woo separates from the others as he has a friend in the military that promised to help them. He is followed by the homeless man/stowaway who overheard them and wants to go with them.

All their plans are stopped, however, as it turns out that everyone at Daejon station has succumbed to the zombie affliction. Now our team reunites as they try and save themselves. The group splits up again with the women and children follows the train operator and heading to a train while the men try to keep the zombies away.

Zombies from Night of the Living Dead

These zombie soldiers are crazy, they burst out of windows on to the train. This movie is really good but also super intense.

After Seok-woo, Sang-hwa and Yong-guk ar enable to block the zombies for a little while they all make it on the train, but unfortunately are in a different compartment than their friends and family. The rest of the group are in car 13 and they are in car 9.

Oh no!

Yong-guk is rather sensitive and this whole time he’s not been very strong. But he wants to get to his girlfriend and teammates. He immediately starts going through the duffel bags and getting himself ready to fight his way through. This is such a great scene as Sang-hwa quickly follows. Sang-hwa is so cool, he’s my favorite character in this film. He just takes command and kicks butt.

I really like how they did this scene as all are all covered as best as they can, wrapped with tape for punching and protection, have bats, and other items to try and keep them safe.

After they make it through, saving their family in 13 they head to 15 where Yong-guk’s girlfriend is. Along the way they even have to battle Yong-guk’s zombie teammates (so heartbreaking). When they finally reach the compartment the people won’t let them in for fear of being bit. Yong-guk has had enough and uses his baseball bat to break the door down, later having to then grapple with the annoying COO who has convinced everyone not to help them.

Sang-hwa was bit in the battle and sacrifices himself to give the others more time. In-gil is also accidentally killed on the way to safety. Angry at all that has happened and grief stricken over the losss of her sister Jong-gil opens the other door of the compartment and let’s the zombie horde in. COOYong-Suk and train operator Ki-chul are saved by hiding in a bathroom.

They end up having to disembark the train when the track is blocked and try to find another. COO Yon-suk escapes after pushing Ki-chul into the zombies, then later doing the same with Jin-hee. Heartbroken, Yong-guk stays with Jin-hee until she turns into a zombie and kills him.

Aw!

The homeless man sacrifices himself to buy time for Seok-woo to clear the debris and Su-an and Seong-kyeong all run to another train. They find one but in it is COO Yon-suk who has been bit. Seok-woo battle it out but while he is able to overcome COO Yon-suk, he gets bit in the process. Seok-woo teaches Seong-kyeong how to drive the train and then throws himself off, sacrificing his life for theirs

When another train blocks the track, Su-an and Seong-kyeong are forced to stop at the tunnel to Busan. Unbeknownst to them, snipers are there to shoot everyone on site. I really thought this was going to end like Night of the Living Dead but when Su-an sings “Aloha ʻOe, the snipers save them.

It a really great film although it is sad and very intense. It’s not gratuitous violence but it is a bit much, so it won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. I enjoyed it and do recommend for anyone who enjoys zombie films.

For more zombies, go to Zombie Pirates and Werecats: Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island (1998)

For more Korean productions, go to What If the Man You Married Wasn’t Who You Thought He Was?: Flower of Evil (2020)

For more horror/thriller films on a train, go to Have You Seen Megan Hipwell?: The Girl On the Train (2016)

For more horror/thrillers that revolve around a virus, go to A Spy Ring, A Killer Virus, and a Body Double Trying to Steal Carolina’s Life: High Seas Season Three (2020)

Catherine Morland’s Viewing List

Happy Friday the 13th! I don’t know if you have any plans, but as for me I’m going to spend my evening with pizza and horror films.

Speaking of Horror films I have been getting ready trying to pick out which ones I’ll use for Horrorfest X, my yearly Halloween countdown, but I’ve also been going through old posts and looking at the ones from the original Horrorfest, and thinking some of these movies Catherine Morland would love as they are full of gothic-y goodness.

Unfortunately, while they occasionally have Austen tendencies and can go on my Non-Austen Films for Austen Fans list, like Rebecca, the ones I’m thinking of are more like Catherine Morland’s Reading Listthey don’t have anything to do with Jane Austen but are gothic stories Catherine would love.

Hmm…

Then I thought, why not start a new series, a list of only the good Gothic like horror films for the other Catherine Morland/Henry Tilney spooky people out there? It will only contain movies that I strongly recommend-none of the films that are poorly written or have a lot of issues. And unlike my other lists, this will be a one stop list for people looking for recommendations, while the original posts will only be done during Horrorfest.

So films on this list are going to be Gothic films or films with Gothic components. For those who are wondering what classifies something as a Gothic, here is the definition.

Gothic fiction, which is largely known by the subgenre of Gothic horror, is a genre or mode of literature and film that combines fiction and horror, death, and at times romance.

Any films I have already reviewed that fit for this list I will just list and link here, while any future film I review I will add a little specifically why it belongs on this list. I have 9 years of films I have watched/reviewed for Horrorfest, but I’m not sure how many of those will be on her. For now I’m going to put on the ones I have recently re-edited, and then will be adding more constantly. If you are looking for recommendations, be sure to check back for more:

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)

The Phantom of the Opera (1925)

Frankenstein (1931)

The Mummy (1932)

The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

The Cat and the Canary (1939)

Wuthering Heights (1939)

Rebecca (1940)

Return of the Vampire (1943)

Shadow of a Doubt (1943)

Laura (1944)

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1949)

Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

The Bad Seed (1956)

Horror of Dracula (1958)

Psycho (1960)

Carnival of Souls (1962)

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Fahrenheit 451 (1966)

Northanger Abbey (1987)

Heathers (1988)

The Addams Family (1991)

Dead Again (1991)

The Addams Family Values (1993)

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (2005)

The Corpse Bride (2005)

Northanger Abbey (2007)

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant (2009)

The Turn of the Screw (2009)

The Moonstone (2016)

For more movie lists, go to Non-Austen Films for Austen Fans

13 Films to Watch on Valentine’s Day If You Are in An Anti-Romance Mood

So I wasn’t originally going to post anything for Valentine’s Day, I’m just not in the mood. Some of you know my story, for those who don’t, go to Plot Twist.

Meh.

But then I was looking through my drafts, and I spotted this one. The idea of a list of films to watch on Valentine’s Day when you are not in a romantic mood was born last year, but I never had a chance to flesh it out so I didn’t post it. However, it is perfect for this year! So even though we will not be having our usual Romance is in the Air: 14 Days, 14 Romantic Moments in film and TV, we will still have something.

Some of us just get in an unromantic mood during Valentine’s Day. Sometimes it is because of a bad relationship, sometimes it’s because you aren’t a romantic person, sometimes it is just Valentine’s Day itself that sets you off.

So I decided that instead of doing a romantic moment, that I would list thirteen films for you who are anti-romance this “season” to enjoy.

Now note that I said anti-romance, there will be love in some of the films, but I am choosing ones that are not romantic love, or full of love.

13) Legally Blonde

Elle Woods imagined that when her boyfriend asked her out to a fancy dinner, he was going to propose, but he dumps her because she isn’t the “right image.” Angry, wanting to prove him wrong, and hoping to win him back-she takes her LSATS and enrolls in Harvard Law School. There she surprisingly discovers a love of law and justice.

So it does have some romance in it, as she hopes to get her man back, but as the film continues it really becomes about Elle finding her place and who she is, and not letting anyone keep her down or other’s views of her affect her self-esteem. She does end up with a new boyfriend, but that isn’t really the primary focus in the film or a strong part of the story,

For more on Legally Blonde, go to The Bend and Snap

12) What A Way To Go

I first ran into this film when I was shelving the DVDs at work, and when I saw the cast list I had to watch it! Shirley MacLaine is Louisa May Foster Hopper Flint Anderson Benson who has dreamed of living a poor, simple life with the man she loves. Instead each man she marries gets rich, spends zero time with her, and is killed by their work-leaving her richer and trying again to find love. Each sequence also has a flashback when a “movie type scenario” from a silent film, Parisian film, big technicolor extravaganza, and a musical.

This film is hilarious as all Louisa wants is to be poor, but keeps making each man richer-ending up alone. She and all her co-stars gel so well-you can’t miss this amazing and fun film. Louisa does fall in love again and again, but as she gives her husband’s ideas that make them rich and busy, she actually doesn’t spend that much time with them. It is sooo funny, that all will enjoy and need to watch.

11) Double Jeopardy

Libby Parsons went out for a romantic night with her husband and woke up to him dead! She then finds herself on trial for his murder, convicted and in jail, her son taken and missing, and it turns out her husband is still alive. Libby serves her time and as soon as she is paroled she will do all she can to find her boy and make her husband pay!

There is no romance in this, just a mother’s love and determination to get her son. Plus-revenge and hardcore justice!

For more on Double Jeopardy, go to I Could Shoot You in the Middle of Mardi Gras and They Can’t Touch Me…: Double Jeopardy (1999)

10) Shenandoah

James Stewart is Charlie Anderson, yeoman farmer and father of seven living in Shenandoah, Virginia. Charlie does not own slaves, he has six sons who can help with the work, therefore he does not believe in fighting in the Civil War. Instead Charlie chooses to go on with his daily life, believing that if he stays out of the war, then him and his family will be safe. However, people in his household have conflicting views; one of his sons, Jacob, wants to fight in the war and his son-in-law is an officer in the Confederate army. His youngest boy ends up being mistaken as a confederate troop and captured as a prisoner of war, then causing Charlie and his family to go after him; ultimately thrusting them into the war.

Shenandoah is radically different in its portrayal of the Civil War. It steers away from celebrating, idealizing, and romanticizing war-instead not choosing to not honor a side but vilify war in general. It presents all viewpoints on the Civil War and raises issues concerning the Civil War that are applicable in contemporary times. The way Shenandoah is able to encompass all views makes it a film that is still relatable today. It is a sad film, but powerful. It has no real romantic love, but focuses on the love of a family.

9) Dangerous Crossing

Ruth Stanton has just eloped with John Bowman and the two are going on a cruise for their honeymoon. He goes to the purser while she heads up to the deck. When she returns to her room, it isn’t her room! There is no record of John Bowman, the staff has not seen him and don’t recall seeing them together. Ruth Stanton did have to go to a sanitarium, after her father died, could she be having another breakdown? Or is there a sinister plot against her?

This is a film noir that has mystery and suspense and very little romance. Yes, Ruth is on her honeymoon, but as her husband is missing (or does he even exist?) there is no romance-just her drive to find out what happened.

For more on Dangerous Crossing, go to I Do Think You Are Confused Mrs. Bowman: Dangerous Crossing (1953)

8) Jaws

Amity Island is getting ready for the summer and what should be a great time on the beach. However, all is not well as a rogue great white shark has decided to make the beach this year’s home. He’s eating up tourists and locals, scaring the crowds away, and causing all kinds of havoc. Soon the sheriff, a marine biologist, and fisher have to team up to hunt the monster down.

Let’s see the film starts off with a couple trying to be romantic and getting turned into shark bait, so you know the romance in this will be zero. A fantastic film that anyone will enjoy.

For more on Jaws, go to You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Screen: Happy 40th to JAWS

7) Night of the Living Dead

Barbara and her brother are visiting their grandparent’s grave when they are attacked by a zombie!! Her brother is taken, but Barbara escapes ending up in a house with several others who are trying to survive this attack and find a way out.

There is absolutely no romance in this film as everything is focused on surviving the dreaded event. There is a teenage couple who try and escape the horror, but they succumb to zombies.

For more Night of the Living Dead, go to They’re Coming To Get You Barbara: Night of the Living Dead (1968)

 

6) The Trouble With Angels

I got this movie as a gift from a friend one year. She said, and direct quote, “I saw it was an old movie so I figured you would like it.” Ha ha.

Mary Clancy (Hayley Mills) is quite the troublemaker, so much that her father has decided to send her to Catholic school. There she teams up with fellow newcomer, Rachel Devery, and they begin to pull pranks on the Nuns and Mother Superior. Mother Superior won’t be outdone, however, and plans to do all she can to tame their temperamental moods.

An adorable film about friendship, faith, and growing up. Not a drop of romance in it.

5) The Beverly Hillbillies

Jed is just an average “hillbillie” trying to keep his family fed. He’s out shooting and finds the biggest oil field in America on record. He takes his daughter Ellie May, cousin Jethro, granny (Jed’s mother-in-law), and a truckfull of animals to Beverly Hills, CA. The try and navigate in Beverly Hills, their ways being a full “fish out of water” scenario. When Jed sees that his daughter is completely unladylike, he decides it is time to get a wife who can raise his daughter right. Enter Woodrow Tyler and Laura Jackson, conmen, who plan to make Jed fall in love with Laura and take all his money. Will their plan work? Or will these Hillbillies prove they are much smarter than they seem at first glance.

This film is hilarious and so much fun to watch, I know I could watch it over and over again. You might think a film that centers around marriage has to be about love and romance, wrong! There is none really at all in this film. It is hilarious as we see the hillbillies trying to survive in ’90s Beverly Hills. There is no real romance as Jed gets engaged not for love but because he wants to help his daughter, no real courting involved. Instead just laughs and hijinks, and fun.

4) She-Devil

Roseanne Barr plays housewife to a verbally abusive husband, and mother to equally abusive children. When her husband cheats on her with romance writer, played by Meryl Streep, Roseanne decides to get even. She systematically destroys all that her husband holds dear-his house, job, etc. She leaves her abusive kids to go to live with their dad and new wife-destroying Meryl Streep as well. Now having to be a mom and wife-Streep finds herself suffering at all of Roseanne’s plotting.

This is a fun comedy where all those who wronged you get their just desserts. A comedic film where revenge is a dish that keeps getting served over and over again. A great film if you want zero romance and see those who deserve it-suffer!

3) The First Wives Club

Three college friends (played by Diane Keaton, Goldie Hawn, and Bette Midler) are reunited after the death of their once close friend. They discover that each one’s husband is leaving them for another woman. Instead of sitting around, they decide to form a group and get back at the cheating losers.

No love here as these women take their spouses down and rediscover the beauty of friendship.

2) The Outsiders

This film has always been a favorite for me. My friends and I used to do a Hunk-a-Thon, where we bring films with our favorite hot guys and marathon watch, and this was always one of my choices. Why you may ask? Well it has Patrick Swayze, Rob Lowe, C. Thomas Howell, Ralph Macchio, Tom Cruise, Emilio Estevez, and Matt Dillion.

A touching story about boys from the wrong-side of town getting caught up in a situation over their heads. Based on the book by S.E. Hinton, it is poignant, heartwarming, and completely relatable.

There is no romance in the film, only the incredible love of friendship and family. An amazing film-watch if you haven’t yet.

1) 9 to 5

One year, my friend had her heartbroken and we were trying to cheer her up, and I said let’s watch this movie. There is no romance, it is hilarious, and we’ll all be too focused on the hijinks to be sad. No one else had seen the movie, so at first they weren’t sure, but we had a great time watching it.

9 to 5 takes place in the early ’80s and is about three different working women who have to deal with a cheating, lazy, misogynistic boss: Franklin Hart Jr. Violet Newstead (Lily Tomlin) is the senior office manager and the one who really runs the corporation. Unfortunately, she never moves up as Hart takes credit for her ideas. Doralee Rhodes (the amazing Dolly Parton), is Hart’s secretary who he sexually assaults and tells the whole office he is sleeping with, turning all the other staff against her. Judy Bernly (Jane Fonda) has just entered the workforce as her husband has left her for his secretary, Hart yells and threatens to fire her after an office mistake that anyone could make. After a particularly distressing day, the women end up going to a bar, becoming friends, and fantasizing about actually killing their boss. The next day Violet thinks she accidentally poisoned him. The rest is hilarious. You should totally check it out..

This movie is soooooooo funny. It is a must watch! No romance-just comedy, music, justice, and friendship.

For more on 9 to 5, go to Five to Nine

I hope you all enjoy that! Of course of you are in a romantic mood you can always check out one of my previous Romance is in the Air series:

For I Only Want to Be With You: Romance is in the Air, go to Boom Box of Love: Say Anything (1989)

For Keep On Loving You: Romance is in the Air Part II, go to Language of Love: Love Actually (2003)

For What I Like About You: Romance is in the Air Part III, go to I Can See Your Beauty: The Breakfast Club (1985)

For Good Lovin’: Romance is in the Air Part IV, go toI Can’t Pretend, I Have to Be: Casual Sex? (1988)

For How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You: Romance is in the Air Part V, go to I Did It for You: Edward Scissorhands (1990)

For The Power of Love: Romance is in the Air Part VI, go to Who Says I Have to Stop: Fireproof (2008)

Or snuggle up with an Austen film!

No Mere Mortal Can Resist the Evil of the Thriller: Thriller (1983)

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And though you fight to stay alive, your body starts to shiver. For no mere mortal can resist the evil of the thriller.

So I know you are probably thinking, a music video? That’s not a horror film.

Majorly

This music video is almost 14 mins and a recommended length for a short film, by the New York Film Academy, is 10-15 mins. That makes this “music video” a short film, and perfect for our countdown.

It was directed by John Landis, most known for his film An American Werewolf in London, and he made the film because he wanted to bring back the theatrical short, you know the short film before the movie. Like Pixar and Disney used to do.

“I saw it as a chance to resurrect a genre that had once been a Hollywood staple. Music videos were new in 1983, and MTV was just two years old.”

They even tried to get an Academy Award nomination for Best Short Live Action, but the Academy didn’t have the same love for it as the rest of the world did. However in 2009 it was selected for the National Film Registry by the Library of Congress, being the first music video in history to receive that honor.

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It takes place in the 1950s and starts off with Michael and his date (Ola Ray) are driving and the car runs out of gas. They get out to walk through the creepy forest:

Stay out of the forest!

Stay out of the forest!

Michael wears a red letterman that looks a lot like a certain jacket from a certain horror film:

He asks his date to be his girlfriend, and she agrees him giving her a ring to symbolize it.

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How sweet.

But then he warns her:

Michael: There’s something I’ve got to tell you.

Michael’s Girl: Yes, Michael?

Michael: I’m not like other guys.

Michael’s Girl: Of course you’re not. That’s why I love you.

Michael: No, I mean I’m different.

Michael’s Girl: What are you talking about?

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Nothing good is going to come of this.

And then the moon comes out:

attack Wolf Boy Meets World moon full moon night

And he changes into a Werecat!

I was aTeenage_Werewolf_by_BryanBaugh

And the makeup is pretty creepy. You can thank Rick Baker for that. Even though CGI is probably cheaper, I love seeing what people were able to make with such limited supplies and technology. It is unbelievable.

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Back to the video. So Michael the werecat os chasing his date through the forest. Run girl, run!

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Just as the werecat is about to grab her, we cut to a movie theater. Yes this is a film that Michael and his girlfriend are watching.

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Michael loves the film but his date (Ola Ray) is not into horror films. Such a pity.

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She walks out and Michael, being a good date, follows. As they are outside the music starts up and we get those perfect lyrics that are impossible to hate.

It’s close to midnight and something evil’s lurking
In the dark
Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops
Your heart
You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before
You make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between
The eyes
You’re paralyzed

Now at first this is Michael just joking around with his girlfriend, teasing her. But it will soon change.

You hear the door slam and realize there’s nowhere left to run
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you’ll ever see the sun
You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination
But all the while you hear the creature creepin’up behind
You’re out of time

I like how in his dance Michael Jackson throws in a Frankenstein monster move and hints at famous “thrillers”.

Frankenstein

Night creatures call
And the dead start to walk in their masquerade
There’s no escapin’ the jaws of the alien this time (they’re open wide)
This is the end of your life

They’re out to get you, there’s demons closing in on every side
They will possess you unless you change the number on your dial
Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together
All thru the night I’ll save you from the terrors on the screen,
I’ll make you see

Now in this scene it is very apparent that they are taking there time walking home in not the best conditions. There are no streetlights and a ton of fog. You know what’s coming, something bad.

I'm getting shivers

I’m getting shivers

And then we have the best thing in the world. Just as Michael and his girlfriend go by the cemetery, we hear Vincent Price’s voice. Bringing us:

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And then things begin to rise in the graveyard.

Night of the living dead zombie

Darkness falls across the land
The midnite hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y’awl’s neighbourhood
And whosoever shall be found
Without the soul for getting down
Must stand and face the hounds of hell
And rot inside a corpse’s shell

It’s funny to think that this music video never would have had such an amazing voice in it, I mean aside from Michael Jackson, if it wasn’t for writer Rod Temperton’s wife, Peggy Lipton. Temperton had wanted talking at one part and needed a classic horror actor to give the music the edge he desired. Lipton was a good friend of Price, asked him and he agreed.

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So the rest of the dead are waking up; out of every grave, tomb, and casket.

night of the living dead

The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom
And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the thriller
Can you dig it?!

And of course, they head after Michael.

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They are surrounded! Oh no! Michael’s girlfriend looks to Michael for help, but it is too late:

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AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then we have one of the most engaging dances ever to be created/performed.

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They actually had to think long and hard how to create the scene where they dance that wasn’t childish or silly, but kept to the mood of the previous scenes; and I have to say they accomplished it. In fact, before Landis agreed to direct, he made it mandatory that all extras spend two weeks in rehearsals with the choreographer; something that had never been done before. This dance has been such a big part of our culture from Thrill Around the World to being referenced in numerous films and TV shows.

‘Cause this is thriller, thriller night
And no one’s gonna save you from the beast about to strike
You know it’s thriller, thriller night
You’re fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight

That it’s a thriller, thriller night
‘Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would dare to try
Girl, this is thriller, thriller night
So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller, chiller
Thriller here tonight

Michael’s date is horrified and runs into a creepy old house, with the zombies surrounding her on every side. Very Night of the Living Dead.

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Too bad she doesn’t have a Ben to save her as they start destroying the house to get her.

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Michael grabs her and bam. It turns out they are just in a home, Michael isn’t a zombie….Or is he? We close on Vincent Price’s amazing laugh with  frozen still of Michael’s yellow werecat eyes.

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That was Michael Jackson’s Thriller and it is amazing. From the song, to Jackson, to Price, to Ray, to the dancing, the makeup- I could go on and on but it is just perfect. I mean it gives you everything you want

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Plus a fun dance to do. Check it out for yourself!

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To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to Every Three Thousand Years, the Stars Align. Unleashing an Army of Monsters: TMNT (2007)

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For more on Michael Jackson, go to Haunted Harmonies of Halloween: Top 5 Songs to Play on Halloween

For more Vincent Price, go to A Man Without a Face: The Bat (1959)

For more zombies, go to Those Aren’t Men They Are the Living Dead: White Zombie (1932)

For more music reviews, go to Shook Me All Night Long

For more ’80s music, go to Back in Black

For more ’80s films, go to I’ll Be Back: The Terminator (1984)

How To Survive A Horror Film

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With Halloween approaching and the number of Horror films increasing, I thought it would be a good time to write a post on how to survive a horror film, just in case you happen upon this situation 😉 . Most of us have heard of the “Randy Rules” in Scream (1996), but in this we are going to look a bit more in depth in how to successfully survive a horror film.

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1) Do Not Try Out Witchcraft, Ouija Boards, or any of the Occult for “Fun.” You Will Be Messing with Forces You Have No Control Over

It is never good to mess with the occult, play around with witchcraft, or use the ouija board. When you do such things you are opening a door to a lot of stuff you don’t want to mess with. Often you open yourself or others to demon possession or evil spirits. It is best to just stay far away from such things.

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2) Do Not Make Deals With the Devil, Demons, or Other Supernatural Beings

Never, ever make a deal with the devil. It is like trying to mess with the occult or witchcraft, you are opening yourself up to serious trouble, and the devil will not like to loose his quarry. Besides, the deals/wishes you make never turn out exactly as you hope.

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3) Anything and Everything Can be a Weapon

One of the things that bothers me the most is when people are surrounded by potential weapons and don’t use them. I mean look at Scream (1996), when Tatum is in the garage and attacked by Ghostface, she tries to squeeze herself through a tiny hole to escape rather then use something, anything in the garage. I mean she is in a GARAGE!!! There are hundreds of potential weapons! USE THEM!!! That is one example, but seriously, use anything and everything.

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4) Don’t Stop Assaulting Your Attacker Until You are Sure They Are Not Going to Get Up

Now this is huge. In horror movies, if the person is able to outwit the killer and knock them out, they usually just leave it at that and take off. DON’T! You knock that sucker out until you are sure they are no longer going to try to injure you. Break their legs if necessary. Because if you don’t, they are just going to recover and come after you.

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5) If Someone Gives You a Protective Charm Do Not Give It Away

I have mentioned this in Dracula (1931), The Mummy (1932), The Wolf Man (1941), Scream 2 (1997), and many more. If someone gives you some kind of charm that is supposed to help you and only work for you, DO NOT GIVE IT AWAY!!!! It will only work FOR YOU!!!! That is why it was given TO YOU!! And if you give it away you are just going to get yourself and the person you were trying to help in serious trouble. Keep it and protect yourself so that you can actually help others, instead of accidentally killing them.

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6) Sex = Death

As Randy says in Scream, Sex = Death. Never overlook the purity angle, it is like a protective charm. If you don’t do it, you are less likely to die.

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7) Doctors are Almost Always Evil

Sometimes Doctors can be good people, but if you are in a horror film, forget it; they are usually evil. Such as Dr. Hartz from The Lady Vanishes (1938), he seems kindly and trying to help, but in reality just wants the main character to think they are going crazy! Same thing in Dr. Hollingshead from The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (1947). Then you have doctors who commit horrible things in the name of science; like We have Dr. Frankenstein (from any Frankenstein film) who tries to create life and can’t control his monster. Or  there is Dr. Arthur Carrington from The Thing From Another World (1951), who almost kills everyone as he doesn’t care about human life but scientific discovery is what matters. Not to mention Dr. Alfred Brandon from I Was a Teenage Werewolf (1957), who experiments on teenage boy. And lets not forget Dr. Hannibal Lecter, who eats people. I could go on, but there are too many examples to choose from.

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8) Do Not Spend the Night in an Abandoned or Haunted House, Psychiatric Hospital, or Carnival

I mean seriously. Just do not go there. Nothing good will ever, ever, ever come of it! I mean look at The Uninvited (1944), House on Haunted Hill (1959), House on Haunted Hill (1999), The Hunting (1963), The Haunting (1999), etc. I could go on and on, but let’s continue with our list.

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9) If There is a Curse on Something Do Not Touch It

I know curses, many laugh at them; but of you are in a horror film and you see something that says it is cursed DON’T TOUCH IT! It is better to live another day then to have yourself face all kinds of horrors.

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10) Do Not Drink Any Potions or Test An Experiment On Yourself

NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER test a potion or try an experiment on yourself. It always ends badly! I mean you have Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, The Fly, Batman’s Man-Bat he had to fight, even Goosebumps did an episode where the dad ended up creating a plant clone of himself. I know many don’t like animal testing or get under the stress of trying to accomplish something; but just stop! Don’t test yourself or else something bad will be created.

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11) If There is a Murderer Running Around, Do Not Go Out and Party

This drives me crazy! A murderer is running around killing people and people decide to: 1) not take any precautions; 2) go about their lives like nothing is different; and 3) party. If there is a murderer running around, yes it is good to be in a group (rule 12 & 17) but you shouldn’t be out partying, drinking (rule 13) or putting yourself in a dangerous situation.

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12) Never Split Up

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NEVER, EVER, EVER go anywhere by yourself. There is power in numbers! As a group you could take a killer down, versus as a couple or single. When you split up, all you do us make it easier for someone to kill you.

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13) Do Not Do Drugs or Drink

While some of you might enjoy that type of thing it is never a good idea in a horror film. Anytime you try something that will keep you from thinking clearly, you are in serious trouble as you are likely to make bad decisions that will lead to your death. It is better to just say no.

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14) Always Call the Police

If you are being attacked, threatened, harassed, etc.; call the police. Don’t try and take care of it yourself, don’t try to investigate, call FOR BACKUP! That’s their job!!! They have guns and can make an arrest!

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15) Never Say “I’ll Be Right Back”

Unlike the Terminator here, you won’t be back. Uttering these words is signing a death warrant, as soon as they leave your lips you become next on the killer/creature’s hit list.

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16) Never Say “Who’s There?”

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Never say “who’s there”. If the person was a friend, they wouldn’t be skulking around your house in the first place, trying to scare you. Instead they would knock, ring the doorbell, or call out to you. The only type of person who would be creeping in your house is one who intends on harming you. And if you call out “who’s there”, you’re just helping them find and kill you faster.

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17) Do Not Go Out to Investigate a Strange Noise

When you hear something strange outside, do not go out and look into it. You should wait for assistance or call in the police. If you try looking yourself, you are going to end up in a trap set by a monster, psychopath, murderer, etc. Besides, why unlock the door or turn off the alarm; allowing whatever is watching you the opportunity to come in and attack? Just stay inside snug like a bug.

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18) Do Not Use the Bathroom

Have you ever though of how vulnerable you are in the bathroom? Most have no windows to flee from or they aren’t the most accessible. Some do, but for most the only easy way out is the door, which is where most attackers will come through. Plus the reason you would be in the bathroom; shower or toilet, you won’t have any weapons to help you and it would be extremely easy to kill you. If you are in a horror film, just hold it or stay stinky. You are more likely to live that way.

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19) Never Go Off By Yourself

Like I said before, the less people around you, the easier you are to kill. If you go off on your own to investigate, look around, run away; you are just putting a giant target on your back. Stay together, it is safer.

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20) Always Look Behind You and Above You

Always take a 360 degree look around you. They may be behind, they may be in front, they may even be above you. Search every angle!!!

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21) Be Nice, A Person Scorned or Mistreated Can Do Horror-ble Things

In horror movies, there are lots of people who have been bullied so much and hurt by others they end up becoming homicidal maniacs. And who do they tend to attack first? The last person to hurt them. Look at The Phantom of the Opera (any version), Carrie (1976), Hangman’s Curse (2003), Heathers (1985), etc. So if you don’t want to end up being first on the hit list be kind to those you meet.

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22) If You Are a Girl Or Not White, Be Extra Cautious

Psychopaths and monsters love to kill/eat women and minorities. Because of this if you are either, or both; take extra steps to protect yourself. Be like Ben in Night of the Living Dead.

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23) Don’t Trust Anyone, They Are All Suspects

People can tell you all kinds of things, but that doesn’t mean they are telling the truth. If you find yourself in a horror film, don’t trust anyone. And I mean ANYONE!

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24) Never Judge a Book By its Cover

Never judge a book by its cover. Someone who seems sweet, innocent, impossible to commit cruel acts, etc; could secretly have evil intentions lurking under the adorable facade. Always be watchful and once again, trust NO ONE!

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25) Children can Be Evil too, Never Rule Them Out

When trying to figure out who the murderer is, never overlook kids. I mean sure some will be obvious in their creepiness, such as the one pictured above, but there are many who look innocent and sweet but are actually evil. Don’t be fooled!

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26) Never Try to Create Life

NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER try to create Life. It just does not go the way you plan. You can’t control the beasts you create and they just run amuck everywhere. I mean look at FrankensteinBride of Frankenstein, Jurassic Park, Jurassic World, Alien: Resurrection, the list goes on but I’ll stop here.

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27) Never Try to Control a Monster

In any horror film, whenever they create  life they always think they have complete control over it. Well, that never works out. You see, just because you made it doesn’t mean it will listen to you; every parent knows that. And more often than not, those creations will try and kill you.

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28) If Someone Tries to Make a Deal with You to Kill Someone, Do Not Think it is a Joke

Joking around with the idea of murder might be something you would do with a friend, but be careful, you never know how far they might take it.

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29) Listen to Urban Myths, They Tend to be Right

We all like to hear scary stories around a campfire and about areas. But if you are in a horror film, play very close attention as more often than not, the myths and legends turn out to be true or someone is copying them and making them true. It is always good to pay attention and know the details, it just might save your life.

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30) Never Think You Have Destroyed a Monster, They Always Find a Way to Come Back

You try to kill them and you think you do, but they always come back. Always make sure you keep an eye out for the sequel and their return.

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31) Don’t Be an Idiot

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Be smart! Don’t be stupid and do stupid things. Use your common sense! Bimbos and Mimbos are almost always the first to die.

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So there we are, 31 tips to help you survive a horror film. I hope they help you survive October.

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To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

Keep tuned for more horror film reviews!