Women are Like Werewolves

So I’m back from my mini vacation with my niece, and my review of the second half of The Buccaneers, isn’t finished. So we will have a brief intermission with this post.

Have you ever noticed that women are like werewolves?

Huh?

I know some of you might find it weird, rude, and possibly offensive for me to suggest it-but hear me out. I have shared this on twitter before-but thought I would go a bit more in-depth on here.

So I’m on my period, and I’ve talked about this before-it sucks.

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

And every time it comes the same thought enters my mind. A woman on her period is like a werewolf.

So werewolves-they are affected by a full moon which happens to be about 4-6 days once a month (sometimes two if the days fall a certain way.)

Women have their period once a month (sometimes two if the month falls a certain way or stressful situations arise) and it lasts about 4-7 days. Hmm…

Hmm…

When a werewolf changes he has no control over his emotions or body. They get hairy, larger, claws, etc They can’t fit in their clothes right-it seems like none of the tops ever fit, only the pants-barely.

And for us ladies on our period-acne, aches and pains, I always feel I’m more hairier, and I feel gigantic in everything. I can’t go clothes shopping as I’m bloated and there are certain clothes that do not fit.

Ugh!

And it isn’t a painless process either. Like I hate modern adaptions where the werewolves change and it is no sweat, in legend and original films the transformation was a painful thing.

And same for us ladies. Every time my period comes, constant pain.

No joke this enters m mind every month

Not to mention the anger. Original werewolf tales-angry, furious, and can’t control it.

I Was a Teenage Werewolf

When I’m on my period-watch out!

When one is transformed into a werewolf, they crave strange substances-human blood, flesh, raw meat…

And I don’t know about you, but when I’m on my period I start craving the strangest things. I’m not really a sugar person but on my period all I can think of is candy, cake, pie, brownies, etc. And I’m not a big meat eater-mostly vegetarian, but whenever my period comes-I’m dreaming of steak, burgers, pepperoni and sausage pizza, etc. And I want to eat all the time.

I know some of you think I’m crazy, but I’m not.

I just think us women are like werewolves.

I hope you all enjoyed this silly post, and of you have anything for me to add, leave a comment.

For more werewolf posts, go to Mr. Hyde Versus the Werewolf: Dr. Jekyll Versus the Werewolf (1972)

For more period posts, go to Period Days are Reading Days

 

Period Days are Reading Days

Ugh, I’m on my period:

No joke this enters my mind every month

And we women all know what that feels like:

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

Being on your period is no fun at all, you don’t want to do anything.

Everything hurts, you hate everything, feel bad, etc. All you want to do is check out from life.

So the best thing to do is grab your blanket, ice cream:

Hot tea:

And a good book to read. After all:

Yep, there is no better way to ride out the storm of pain than with a good book

Period days are reading days.

For more period stories, go to Something’s Scratching at the Window

For more book posts, go to Hot Humid Days are Reading Days

For more Jane Smiley quotes, go to A Quest of Swords and Wizards: The Crown Conspiracy

Something’s Scratching at the Window

The other day I woke up at four in the morning, having fallen asleep while watching TV, with an upset stomach. It turned out to be pre-period cramps.

 

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

As I knew it was going to be impossible to go back to sleep right away, I decided to go to the bathroom and brush my teeth, wash my face, maybe do a mask or scrub, etc.-until the pain passed. While I was in the bathroom I heard a noise that went like this:

Scritch, scritch, scritch, scrith…

It sounded as if something was clawing under the window.

So the window in the bathroom is really old. It is a slat window that has to be opened with a lever, and because of its age it never shuts completely. And the acoustics are really good there as people who are across the yard sound as if they are right next to you.

Ugh.

So at first I wasn’t freaked out. I figured it must be a raccoon or possum or something just digging around in the yard or on a trash can.

Meh.

But then I heard it again and it was louder…and it wouldn’t stop…and it sounded like it was right next to me.

Ahhh!

For a split second my mind went to there is a monster out there:

In fact it made me think of that old “scary” story that everyone told at slumber parties; where the two people are stranded in a car and the boyfriend leaves to go for help. While he is gone the girlfriend continuously hears a scratch, scratch, scratch (or tap, tap, tap) while the boyfriend is gone. In the end, a psycho has been scratching at her car or the boyfriend has been killed and his body is hanging overhead.

I’m sure you’ve heard one of the versions of it.

So yes, I went there but then I bounced back. I was certain it was no big deal and going to scare off whatever animal was making that noise.

The gun is a metaphor. I wasn’t going to shoot any animals.

I was just about to walk out of the bathroom and go check outside when something jumped into the window!!!!!!!!!!

And then I saw clawed fingers poking into the cracks of the window!!!!!!!

And I have to admit:

But then this thing started to meow angrily.

And my brain realized that the clawed fingers were just the clawed paws of my cat. Lack of sleep, cramps, it being early morning, whatever-had made me not realize that the hands I saw were tiny cat paws not monster hands.

Yes, since I had fallen asleep watching TV, I didn’t bring my cat in and I guess she heard me in the bathroom, or saw the light-but somehow figured out I was in there and was trying to get my attention to let her in.

But hey, I will take being trolled by my cat over a real psychopath (or rodent) scratching under my window any day.

For more of my scary adventures, go to A Bump in the Night

For more on cats, go to Cat Lovers All Know This

For more stories from my everyday life, go to Road Rage

If this stokes your appetite for horror, check out Horrorfest, Horrorfest II, Horrorfest  III, Horrorfest IV, & Horrorfest V

You’ve Got to Accentuate the Positive

So today is Thanksgiving!

And I love food and this holiday, so I am all about chowing down.

But Not This Year

Majorly

I just had my wisdom teeth out.

So I will not be able to partake in eating tons of food.

And to make matters worse, I am also on my period. So I’m enjoying pain in my mouth and my lower half.

No joke this enters m mind every month

But while it is easy to get hung up on the negatives in life and be unhappy, that is not what Thanksgiving is about. In a world where it seems as if things are getting worse and worse it is easy to get hung up on the negatives, to just hate on everything, be unhappy. And Abraham Lincoln knew this. As he was facing a time of unrest and uncertainty, just as we are, he decided we needed a day set apart to focus on the positives on the good things we have in life.

“The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come..No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens…”

So I decided I was going to do the same. I am going to accentuate the positives, eliminate the negatives, and latch on to the affirmative.

So here we go, what I am thankful for.

1) My Family + Friends

They are always there for me and support me through everything

2) A Roof Over My Head + Food

I am happy to have a home, and food to eat. There are these all people should have, and not all do. I am thankful to be one of those who do.

3) My Country

I know it is not perfect and there have been problems past and present, but I love living in America where I am given rights that all should have.

Many criticize the pilgrims who came to America to begin with, but these people weren’t coming to destroy a nation, they came so that they could have a little bit of land in which they could worship as they please and live in harmony. They tried to work with the Native Americans, not harm them. The negative things came with later colonies who didn’t share the same ideas, mostly because of the people that were ruling Europe and the politics they were playing.

Anyways, one thing that my country does right is give us a freedom of speech. Something some people are trying to restrain all the time, but is currently still something we have. And it allows me to have this blog in which I can discuss whatever I want.

So know I may not be able to eat everything, but I am going to enjoy and eat the few things I can. Hello mashed potatoes and pie.

And I’m going to focus on all that I am grateful to have.

For more on Thanksgiving, go to I Before E, Especially After P

For more holidays, go to Every Heart Beats True for the Red, White, & Blue

 

Turn Your Wounds Into Wisdom, And Your Wisdom Teeth into Wounds

Getting Your Wisdom Teeth Out

One of the most painful things I have ever been through.

So Friday morning I had to wake up early so I could take the valium and the other drug an hour before the procedure. Now I have heard all kinds of stories from my friends about weird things they say or did while on the drugs, but I was pretty normal. The only issues I had was when I walked. I kept bending my knees lower than I needed to, like a monkey. Or Tarzan.

When we got in the office and I paid and answered some questions, they could tell I was walking funny. and they made me sit down. Not too long after they made me move from the waiting room to another room,until it was time for surgery. I guess I was too loud on my comments of the Frankenfish, they were showing on TV. All I said was that I wouldn’t call it after Frankenstein as that story didn’t end well.

Afterwards they went over the rules I’d have to follow following the surgery was  and took me into the room where they were going to operate on my mouth. Now as I was to have all four removed I had opted for anesthesia. So they hooked me up to all these machines, monitoring my heart and blood pressure. Now another side effect for me with the drugs was that I started acting like a little kid. I was like Josh Baskin from Big.

I was all what’s that for? Why are you doing that? And on and on. I really annoyed the technician.

Then they got ready to put the IV in. Now I HATE needles, so I was freaking out the whole time screaming (internally).

I tried taking some deep breaths and then knocked out.

I then woke up in another room in a gurney the operation over

They took me home in which I immediately knocked out.

Now when I became fully awake, boy did my mouth hurt. In fact a lot of ways its like having your period in your mouth. You are intensely sore, you are bleeding a lot and have to change out these pads. And you are in sooo much pain all you want is medication.

The only good thing was that my cat stayed by my side. Thank you Ginger.

Now a lot of people say they get chipmunk size swelling, but mine wasn’t too bad. I pretty much looked like Michael Corleone after he got punched in the face.

The worst thing about getting my wisdom teeth out now is that I’ll be missing out on Thanksgiving. Oh, well. At least I’ll still be able to have pie!