Death By Persuasion: Midsomer Murders (2017)

Do you love Jane Austen and Halloween? Do you feel like this?

Well then, we have a post for you!

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So after DCI Barnaby (John Nettles) left I really stopped watching the new Midsomer Murders, and instead just rewatched the old ones. Every time I watched I got to where they made the switch, I would get a little farther, but then stop as it just wasn’t the same.

I hate when the person you love leaves.

I’m not happy…

However, my interest was sparked when my mother, who continued watching, told me about this episode and someone who follows me on instragam mentioned it too. I tried to find the comment, but no luck-I knew I needed to review it for Horrorfest.

You know me:

Or book lovers

So here we are:

So to begin with, such a beautiful house. So lovely. Every one is in Austen Regency wear. It is like Austenland. I wish I could go.

Or something that somewhat resembles it.

Gorgeous…but wait a second. A young girl receives a note and goes running off. That’s not unusual, but a drone overhead is watching her. Creepy.

Spooky…

A person in  blue coat and black gloves grabs her and carries her off, the drone missing everything but the dead body.

John Barnaby (Neil Dudgeon) is at home when he gets called in by Detective Sergeant Jamie Winter, who I don’t care for. None of the DS were as good as Ben, he was he best!

The dream team!

Anywho, Jamie talks to Mrs. Barnaby who’s woking on a Georgian historical novel. Wow what a coincidence!

Surprise, surprise

So moving along we are in the village Doctor’s office where a lady, Mary Osgood, is upset that her boss and secretary have “taken time off”-just so you know, yes, they are in Austenland.

Ronin Chow has the Mary load the drone as they are testing healthcare by air. It goes by where the police are investigating. So the victim is female and was found stabbed in the countryside. Bonnet askew. It appears the girl was stabbed in the neck with a feather? Interesting.

They have found no ID, wallet, etc. Makes sense as she is in full Austen gear. They do find a remnant of a note on her hand. It looks as if someone tried to rip it out.

They discover a syringe and Winter makes a dumb joke. I just don’t like him!

Meanwhile, there are a group of ladies and gents enjoying Jane Austen. Katherine (Claire Skinner) and James Osgood (Samuel West) are the owners who recreate Austen, their teenage daughter Polly isn’t into it and upset about being in that “world”.

The murdered woman turns out to be Samantha Berry from London. She was a single journalist, out on vacarion to “Austenland”.

They question the owners, but they aren’t very helpful. They describe their vacation as “gorgeous Georgians” in an attempt to make money to continue to care for their home.

Polly, however, has information as she shares that Samantha was super nosy-asking a lot of questions-even sneaking out.

Hmm…

It turns out the “missing” receptionist Jane Everard and Dr. Solomon Franks are at the event. The doctor being the one people are after as he’s the “resident Mr. Darcy.” Although we never spend anytime with him or really see him again in this episode. WOW, you think that an episode that is supposed to be Jane Austen themed, spends hardly any time on Mr. Darcy.

So John (I can’t call him Barnaby) and Winters find out that the head of the Jane Austen Friendship Circle is not a fan of the “Gorgeous Georgians” and decide to question her.

They go through Samantha’s things and find a lot of news articles about the drone delivery! Ah, so the Dr. and his secretary just happen to be at this event and Samantha is investigating them. Interesting, obviously the doctor and receptionists will play big parts in this as Austen will be a major theme, right?

Majorly

Yes, they are supposed to be Darcy and Elizabeth, but we NEVER see them!

I’m not happy

Katherine’s sister comes and to be honest I can see why Polly is not into it. They treat her like crap making her do everything. They should have hired at least one footman.

James looks at Katherine’s sister in a strange way and could they be involved? I wouldn’t put it past this show. Remember how the uncle in Candlestick says that everyone is also messing around with each other on Midsomer Murders. 

This was a good film.

James receives a suspicious phone call. Hmm…

Hmmm…

They go to speak to Ronin and Doug Vaughan, the Drone people about the drones to see if they have anything. They don’t recognize her picture and Winter asks about cameras, but they say they don’t have any on the droids.

They are lying!

Gemma, leader of the Jane Austen Friendship Circle, hates the Gorgeous Georgians. She owns the tearoom  where Jane Austen “visited” and talks about how she knows the history-although it sounds like she may be making up her intellectual background.

Hmm…

He asks what Jane would have written with and she says a goose feather quill pen. She goes to show him but it is missing, and it turns out to be the one used to murder Samantha.

Hmm…

They go to the pub and question Katherine’s sister, Nell. Nell’s husband Ray is an ex-cop who owns the only other key to the case that held the the quill pen.

Well we know its not him, too obvious and unfortunately we have a lot more to this episode to go.

That night someone breaks into the lab and they destroy Ronin’s laptop.

Hmmm

John’s wife is headed to the Grange, Gorgeous Georgians, to the dance being held there and is excited about her husband coming. He is less enthused.

It turns out that she was poisoned by the pen and asphyxiated. Someone did a poison pen-obviously supposed to be a metaphor.

They head over to the lab and find it odd that nothing was taken just the laptop being destroyed. There is nothing to be had on it…or is there?

Hmmm?

The pharmacist is pleased that someone broke in and she is planning something with Gemma the teashop owner.

They question the pharmacist and it turns out that Samantha was investigating James and Katherine. She wasn’t any help as they got together in London, but they never seemed to match up to her. She mentions about his “private life is his private life.” Sounds like he is probably into guys. That’s the way they tend to lead with these shows when they say “private life.”

He questions about  the drug SUX, what was used to kill Samantha and she or the Dr. could have done it.

Hmm…

Back with the Austenites. They are writing, while the Doctor. puts the moves on his secretary. We see an Austen scene in an Austen-themed episode for like 5 MINS!!! 5 MINS!!!!!!!!!

This is why most if us are watching!

Why would you only have a smidge of Austen and be going into drones and such???!!!

How does this make any sense?!!

So they look at where the drone delivered, but none went near where she was killed. But they aren’t the only one with drones. Hint hint…

They go to speak to Walter Osgood the last person Berry spoke to and former headmaster at the school who lost his job for capital punishment. He was caught on camera by a drone filmed by Doug Vaughn. Hmm, I thought Doug said that his drones had no cameras on it.

Walter shares that Doug hated James as they’ve been fighting a loooong time. They ask about Samantha, but Walter never met her. She called about when James and Katherine met.

At the time of the murder he said he was fishing and saw the Dr. over by the river. Ah…interesting! Polly said that he was seen sweaty and late to the picnic.

Hmmm…I don’t know it seems to easy…

They question the Doctor and he says they must be mistaken. They question about him getting medicine and he reveals that he takes the medicine. He was in a car accident and basically is like House but nicer.

He said he didn’t hear anyone, bur he did hear a drone.

Hmm, …

James meets with his brother-in-law. A drone watches them, filming. But before we cann see them doing anything, there is a commercial break of course.

We then see the beautiful house and James at the computer being emailed a threatening note “I SAW YOU”  “DON”T IGNORE ME” and a picture of Samantha dead. A drone then flies up to the house carrying something. Weeeeell…I think it is obvious who is blackmailing James. Who else has drones and hates him.

And more importantly where is the Jane Austen!! Why are so focused on drones?

Hmm…

James goes to Doug thinking that he sent the emails. He wants James to invest in his drone company. Doug says he doesn’t know who sent the emails, but tries to blackmail him. Doug says that he will tell Kitty all about it.

Yep, he is cheating on his wife, most likely with a guy. I can already tell. There is no other it than a secret child. Maybe Samantha is his secret child-Nah it is an affair.

So while this is an okay mystery, I wish there was MORE Jane Austen in a Jane Austen themed episode. This mystery has nothing to do with it. When the older episodes did a theme, they really went all out. Like the magician episode, the movie one, etc. This kind of feels like they are just pandering to people to get them to watch it, but it has nothing to do with Jane Austen herself or the books. All we’ve had so far is one cameo by the guy who played Mr. Elliot in Persuasion (1995) and one Mr. Darcy reference. Like this episode could be switched out with anything else and would be exactly he same. I am not happy.

So back to this James is angry and shouts at Doug, Doug tells him you can’t bully me anymore. And I’m pretty bored.

Blah, blah

James storms out and Doug is mad his plan didn’t work. He threatens him not to ignore him. Walter heads out to the ball. James is preoccupied with what’s going on and wonders if they should have returned to the Grange. Kitty is in her own make believe world all is okay when it isn’t. Kitty is upset and talks to her sister who isn’t thinking her marriage is going all that well, either.

John and Winters dress up and they look sharp. John’s wife and the fill0in ME Petra arrive. Polly is serving all, the only one, and very unhappy-storms off. Nell tries to talk to James but he’s not having it and he storms off (must be where she learned it from).

Polly speaks on the phone to someone about having enough to get to Ibiza and mentions it takes two to get corsets off so she is romantically involved with someone.

So I’m watching this, and I realize that so far there has only been one death. That’s really odd. There is typically at least three.

They travel to where Polly was calling as they spotted her from the window and discover Samantha’s phone and a change of clothing.

The Doctor is trying to romance his secretary but she is unsure if he means it or play acting. Wow it is like that awesome movie, except a suckier version.

And just because we all need a little Austenland in our lives:

Barnaby’s wife talks about how Petra pointed out that there was a fire in the house, as the sides buckle from where there was intense heat. Gee amazing how that just happened to be this fill-in ME’s hobby. Now why this is relevant I don’t know but I do know it sure will be important later.

So who will die next Polly or James. I’m thinking Polly since she’s involved in some double dealing money scheme. At the party Ronin comes and kisses Polly, meanwhile a person in black and gloves steals a shotgun and shells.

John hears them and sees them through the mirror. Winters runs but doesn’t catch them, he gets hit by a car instead.

Huh?

The car stops and when they open it they find Gemma. Interesting…

They question Gemma who says she wanted to see the dresses and dancing, heard the shot and tried to takeoff before anyone spotted her. They take her down to be processed.

Polly checks on her dad who is drinking and down in the dumps. He apologizes for coming back and hugs her. HMMMM?

Hmm…

Barnaby decides that the shot was a warning and the fire is a new lead he needs to look into. Why? Why would he care about a fire? What does this have anything to do with Samantha Berry? Why would any cop decide to do this?? THIS EPISODE MAKES ZERO SENSE!!!!!!!!!! ZERO!!!!!!! ZERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m not happy

AND WHY IS THERE HARDLY ANY JANE AUSTEN!!! He hasn’t even read the books or watched the movies!!! Barnaby, the real one would have! Or he would have had Joyce do it and then summarize it for him!!!!

IT’S NOT WHAT I WANT!

A drone flies overhead and the pharmacist sends something off with Gemma. What are these ladies up to? Do I really care?

They got into Samantha’s phone which has an old picture 28 years ago of James, Kitty, and  a guy named Fullerton who went to jail for arson 12 years ago and manslaughter as he killed a maid on accident. They can’t question him as he died a few months ago. Big shocker there, NOT!

John thinks the her in the note’s “Meet me I’ll tell you all about…her” might be something like brother? Maybe father?

Hmmm…

John and Winter go to question Kitty about the fire and Jamie Fullerton. Kitty doesn’t give that much info-a stone. A drone flies overhead and the coppers are off. Polly got a package. James goes to see Doug with a duffel bag-payoff. Doug needles him, and James storms off.

The cops head over to the lab just as James is leaving. They come to speak to Ronin about his “unofficial” business-using the drone for other deliveries

They question about Ronin lending Ray the drone, Ray who was the arresting officer, which is weird as why would they be friends. Ronin insists they were as Ray saved him from doing hard time.

To be honest I REALLY don’t care This episode is boring.

BORED!!

Ronin shares that he was flying the drone as he was filming for James, you know Austen footage to put on the website. He shares how he followed her and lost her in the woods, but found her dead. So why didn’t he share it with the officers?

The evidence was stolen in the lab break in, but he does remember seeing that the guy wore a blue jacket with a unicorn on it. But a ton of people have them as they gave them away for a walk for charity.

Hmm…

He asks Ray and Kitty’s sis about Johnny Fullerton. but no info.

Doug is angry that Ronin would betray him, and Ronin says he’s not long for here. He’ll be taking off with Polly. As soon as Doug is gone, Ronin goes upstairs and on his laptop. He looks into James’ file and sees that Doug has been spying on him and has a lot of pics. Then he sees something very important and dials someone. He sees who was wearing the coat!

Winters and John go to talk to Gemma. She lied about going to Oxford University, called it.

Ronin tells Polly he missed something and as he walks out he is followed by a drone. Ronin’s going to die. Ronin is telling someone he knows who killed Samantha when the drone drops a knife on him and he dies.

What’s going on?

John comes to check out Ray’s drone, but it is gone and Ray is “out”.

Winters goes to talk to the pharmacist and finds Gemma and the pharmacist. It turns out that they have been undermining the drone trial as Gemma and the pharmacist had their own side business of delivering.

So John questions Polly. Kitty interrupts saying she wants to help as she knows how complicated first love can be. I bet she was involved with James Fullerton.

They question Walter and James about Doug. The two don’t like him so why would James invest.

So after that we get hit with three important clues-1) Doug’s fingerprint was found on the shotgun, 2) the photo albums belonged to Kitty (where Samantha git the pics), and 3) James Fullerton Grange firebug was Samantha’s father. I think we can all see what the conclusion is, but let’s continue.

Ugh!

Samantha only met her father once-what did he say that brought her to the village.

Meanwhile, Doug has been following James-pretty obsessed with him.

Ry goes to see him and shows his video-them making out is my guess. Ray and Doug fight while the video plays, Doug manages to send it to Ray’s wife Nell and yep-the guys were making out.

I hope they lock Doug up-he’s a total creep. Stalking, harassment, blackmail,etc He tries to play it off that James deserved it but I don’t like him.

I don’t care for anyone on this episode.

Poor Nell. Why get married if you were into guys? Really? Seriously, why mess up her life and make her think something was wrong with her.

Back at the Grange nothing is quite right. The Dr. and Jane are trying to get together, he proposing to her. I DON’T CARE! Neither one acted like an “Austen” character and we spend zero time with them. Who cares?

James tells Kitty they HAVE TO TALK. Meanwhile they question Ray, but he lied about his whereabouts earlier. Both times of the deaths he went to see James

After the fire Ray and James were together, but when Kitty became pregnant from James he and Kitty went to London and Ray married Nell . Everything was fine until they came back, was it really though? I mean both men were living a lie and married a girls and ruined their lives.

Nell goes off to be with her sister who just found out the truth about her husband.

They question Ray about Johnny Fullerton and he tells them that Johnny loved Kitty, they were together until the fire. Johnny came to see Kitty after he was out of jail but she had left by then.

Meanwhile, Winters is going through the computer and finds a pic of the killer. We don’t get to see it though. All converge to the Grange so we can have a reveal.

Finally! This is almost over!

Kitty is heartbroken that he never loved her, that he married her even though he cared naught for her. Poor Kitty.

She grabs a torch and lights it going toward James. Is she going to set him on fire?

She puts the fire in his face to try and get the truth out of him .

Johnny Fullerton was Kitty’s first love.

Knew it. Johnny went to prison because Kitty started the fire. Knew that to, sooo obvious. Kitty got drunk, was crying, and knocked over an electric heater. It caught the curtains and the maid died. Why didn’t she say it was an accident? She would have easily gotten off. Dumb!

Johnny told Samantha about the fire and she started investigating. Nell killed Samantha, she used to be a nurse and wore her husband’s jacket.

Kitty finds out that Johnny came back to see her but Nell didn’t tell her to protect her. Kitty says why not and Nell said it was because she was married. Kitty says again why not as “I wasn’t happy” and it pans to James who his all offended. Really James, really?

You lied to her as you never loved her, was cheating on her, and is offended that she was unhappy in your marriage?

Both sisters go off to prison. Ugh.

Winter said he never read any Jane Austen and I think the writers of this episode didn’t either.

Did you even read the books! Or watch a movie?!!

It end with the Dr and Jane together-who cares we know zilch about them.

I didn’t like it.

I mean in the other Barnaby episodes you have ones that focused on archaeologist, writers, musicians, and they really concentrated on the theme this did not.

We knew hardly anything about these characters so I didn’t care who lived or died, the older episodes did far better. And there were only two deaths, usually there are three.

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more on Midsomer Murders, go to A Book Considered Too Dangerous to Keep: The Magician’s Nephew, Midsomer Murders (2008)

For more Jane Austen, go to Rational Creatures: Catherine Morland, Eleanor Tilney, & Lady Susan

You’ve Persuaded My Heart

So we all know that Northanger Abbey is celebrating its 200th birthday. Well it isn’t the only one. When Northanger Abbey was published in 1818, it wasn’t published singularly like the other novels. Instead it came as a 2-for-1 deal, published jointly with Persuasion. 

Her brother Henry published this one and like Northanger Abbey, chose the title. We will never know exactly what Jane would have called it. But it doesn’t matter, it is a great book whatever it is called.

It is often called a wish fulfillment as old lovers broken apart are reunited years later, something Austen herself hoped would happen with her love, but never did.

The technical aspects of the navy seem to be based on Austen’s brother Captain Austen, and one of the main characters wives, based on her sister-in-law. That’s pretty cool and sweet of her to include them.

Hmm…

She also uses a strong irony in this as Anne was rich when she turned down poor Wentworth, but when he returns Anne is poor and Wentworth rich. I simply love this book because it seems so real, how the characters react and treat each other are the emotions they actually would.

Austen also does a great line about women being portrayed as a “femme fatale” so often as men are the writers of these novels; therefore the view is biased. Great book to check out, and we will be! We will be going through the book ourselves and checking out the great character of Anne Elliot:

And Captain Wentworth

And a whole crew of great characters!

Along with going through the book I will also be reviewing the books that are based on the novel or “rewrites” or “twists” on it.

 

Books:

Persuade Me (Darcy & Friends #2) by Juliet Archer

Dangerous to Know: Jane Austen’s Rakes & Gentlemen Rogues by Christina Boyd

Rational Creatures: Anne Elliot, Mrs. Croft, Mrs. Clay, & Louisa Musgrove by Christina Boyd

The Lady Anne Elliot Wentworth, Duchess of Glastonbury by Timothy Figueroa

Captain Wentworth’s Diary (Jane Austen Heroes #3) by Amanda Grange

The Family Fortune by Laurie Horowitz

Persuaded (The Jane Austen Diaries #3) by Jenni James

Persuasion: A Latter-Day Tale by Rebecca H. Jamison

Captain Wentworth’s Persuasion: Jane Austen’s Classic Retold Through His Eyes by Regina Jeffers

None But You (Frederick Wentworth, Captain #1) by Susan Kaye

For You Alone  (Frederick Wentworth, Captain #2) by Susan Kaye

Searching for Captain Wentworth by Jane Odiwe

For Darkness Shows the Stars (For Darkness Shows the Stars #1) by Diana Peterfreund

Anne Elliot, A New Begining by Mark Lydon Simonsen

Possibilities (The Austen Series #6) by Debra White Smith

Film:

Persuasion (1960)

Persuasion (1971)

Persuasion (1995)

Persuasion (2007)

For more on Persuasion, go to Jane Austen Bridal Shower

For more on Anne Elliot, go to You Put the Jedi in Pride & PreJEDIce

For more on Captain Wentworth, go to I’m On a Boat

A Bit Pottery About Jane Austen

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1000000000000 points for Gryffindor as it has Jane Austen in it. (Us poor Slytherins, we’ll never get house cup ever again). So this post was inspired by my ex. Last summer we were watching Sense and Sensibility (1995), as part of a deal we made, and he noticed that a lot of the same actors were in Harry Potter. So I, being the huge nerd I am, decided I would compile a list of actors who crossed over into both worlds.

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Alan Rickman as Severus Snape and Colonel Brandon

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So many of you out there know of Severus Snape the Potions instructor from Harry Potter. He is first depicted as a mean, bulling, horrible teacher who dislikes Harry with a fiery passion.

Snape

 

Harry thinks Severus is a truly evil character, but it is later revealed that Snape is one that you can trust secretly helping and aiding Harry, working as a double agent against Voldemort.

Oh My Bad

He loved Harry’s mother Lily, and tried to do everything in his power to protect her. Loving her ’till he died.

Snape+Lily

Well Alan Rickman played Severus Snape in all the Harry Potter films, and also played Colonel Brandon in Sense and Sensibility (1995).

Colonel Brandon is one of the best Austen heroes. He has such a sad backstory, but still remains kind and good-hearted. When he was younger he fell in love with a girl, but his father broke them up. He went on to India, but she went down an awful life as she fell in love with a man who left her alone and pregnant. She died young, but Brandon took care of her child, raising it as his own. He then falls for Marianne, not caring that she had no fortune, but instead loving her mind and spirit. He is rich and of high social standing, but doesn’t allow those customs to dictate the ways of his heart. He continues loving her and caring for her; even though all she thinks of him is an “old man” (he’s not too much older but she is only interested in men of her own age). And even though she may not care for him, he still loves her from afar and wishes her well.

So romantic!

So romantic!

 

When she is injured and caught in the rain, he carries her to safety. When she catches a cold and almost dies he travels a great distance to bring her mother to her. He is such a kind, generous, and one of the most amazing Austen men.

Col.Brandon

Both are men who are absolutely romantic, continuing to love their first love and will do anything to help their children. Snape becomes a double agent to protect Harry, all without his knowing. Brandon cares for the daughter of his first love, treating her as if she was his own. They are just amazing characters that you can’t help but love them. Truth be told, I would marry either one.

For more on Snape go to Even After All This Time

For more on Col. Brandon go to It’s All Jane Austen’s Fault

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Elizabeth Spriggs who played the Fat Lady in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone also played Mrs. Jennings in Sense and Sensibility (1995).

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The Fat Lady is the portrait that guards the Gryffindor chamber. The kids have to give her the password before they are allowed in.

Mrs. Jennings is Lady Middleton’s mother, Sir John Middleton’s mother-in-law. She is kind and caring, always trying to send the Dashwoods extra food or inviting them to dinner as she knows the family has a fixed budget. She also invites the girls to join her for a season in London, knowing that they could never afford such a luxury. When stupid Willoughby breaks Marianne’s heart, Mrs. Jennings is in her camp and ready to skin him alive. However, her gossipy and meddlesome ways, does at times make her a difficult person to like all the time.

These two characters aren’t very similar, although they both like to state their views. After the first film, they change the Fat Lady, but I don’t care for those depictions as much as I liked Elizabeth Spriggs.

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Now the Sybill Trelawney costume is done so well that many of you probably didn’t recognize her. But Trelawney is played by Emma Thompson not only wrote the Sense and Sensibility screenplay, but also was one of the lead characters, Elinor Dashwood.

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Professor Trelawney is the divination teacher, and I have to side with McGonagall that I feel she makes up more than what she actually sees. But at times she does see things, such as she predicted the destruction of Voldemort. She also predicted the return of Peter Pettigrew and Voldemort.

Elinor is very different from Prof. Trelawney. Elinor is always sensible and quiet, keeping all her feelings and thoughts inside her head, never spouting them off. She is very serious as everything to keep the house going and family together falls on her.

This two are extremely different characters.

For more on Elinor Dashwood, go to On the 10th Day ‘Til Christmas

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Gemma Jones is Madam Pomfrey in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Half-Blood Prince, and Deathly Hallows Part 2. She also played Mrs. Dashwood in Sense and Sensibility (1995).

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In Deathly Hallows, Madame Pomfrey is a great healer. She is able to fix everything, from Hermione’s cat appearance to Harry’s broken arm. She is always in charge, cool, collected, and knows just what to do.

Mrs. Dashwood on the other hand is no where near the level of Madame Pomfrey. Truth be told we never see how she acts pre-grief, but after the death of her husband she loses it. Besides the grief/loss, she is also being kicked out of her home, losing everything she owned, forced to move, and is put in conditions she never thought she would be a part of. She does not cope well, both living in the past and doing nothing; leaving up everything for her daughter Elinor to take charge.

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Imelda Staunton as Dolores Unbridge in Harry Potter also plays Mrs. Charlotte Palmer.

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So as Dolores Umbridge she is evil incarnate. I mean the writing lines in your own blood? How horrifying! How does someone like this work around children? Seriously! And keeping Moody’s eye on her door like some great prize!!! What a, I can’t even say the words…just

Jerk

She deserved being beaten (or worse) by the centaurs. She def deserved it.

As Palmer though, she isn’t mean or evil, she is just very loud and prattles on ALL the time. You know the type that never shuts up. She is kind of annoying but you love her relationship with her husband (played by Hugh Laurie)

Mr. Palmer

Anyways, even though Charlotte can be annoying and never stops talking, much better than ugh, Umbridge.

Ugh

Ugh

Despicable Me Umbridge Harry Potter

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Robert Hardy played Fudge in Harry Potter and Sir John Middleton in Sense and Sensibility.

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Now as Fudge, he’s a horrible man. He chooses to be a little ostrich and keep his head in the sand rather than deal with the issues that are abounding. He is also extremely horrible in the way he tries to turn everyone against Harry. He brings dementors to the school and tries to kill Buckbeak. He then becomes so afraid of losing his job as Ministry of Magic that he goes crazy trying to make Dumbledore a villain.

While some find Sir John annoying I think he is a really nice guy. He can be a bit intrusive and a gossip, involving himself in other’s affairs (primarily Colonel Brandon’s love life), but he still has a kind and gentle heart. When the Dashwood’s are kicked out of their home, he lets them his cottage for a price far under what it is worth. Not only does he do that, but he invites them over to his house daily, supplying them with food and comfort far beyond their current abilty. He is fiercly loyal and caaring for his friends; standing by Colonel Brandon even when others say things about his rash behavior of breaking up the outing. He even forgives Willoughby after the whole Marianne issue.

These two guys couldn’t be more different.

For more on Sir John Middleton, go to Let’s Hear it For the Boys

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Ciaran Hinds playes Aberforth Dumbledore

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Now in the films we don’t really get a sense of who Albus is. He only comes in at the very end; helping Ron, Hermione, and Harry sneak into Hogwarts for the final battle. He ends up joining the last fight, even though he promised he would do nothing to help his brother as he still blames him for his sister’s death.

Similar to Persuasion, his character Fredrick Wentworth also knows how to hold a grudge. He is upset at Anne for having rejected him all those years ago, but unlike Albus, forgives her and the two reconcile. However, he is still adorable and wonderful.

lovedyou Persuasion

For more on Captain Frederick Wentworth, go to A Letter of Love

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Fiona Shaw was both Aunt Petunia in Harry Potter and Mrs. Croft in Persuasion (1995)

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Now here are two characters that couldn’t be more different. As Aunt Petunia, Shaw is just horrible. Petunia is a mean, jealous, cruel, abusive woman. She has always been jealous that her sister Lily had the powers and she had none, therefore unable to go to Hogwarts. She unleashes all her unhappiness and issues on her nephew; locking him in a cupboard, practically starving him, letting her child bully him, etc.

Mrs. Croft on the other hand totally rocks! Her and the Admiral’s relationship is so cute as you can see how much the two love each other, so much that Mrs. Croft refuses to stay on land when her husband is at sea, but travels with him as she hates for them to be parted. She also cares deeply about her brother and wants him to be happy. She tries to help him pick the right girl. She is so kind to Anne as well and becomes a dear friend to all.

For more on Mrs. Croft, go to A Frederick Wentworth Sighting

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Now Sophie Thompson is a real wonder, being in two Jane Austen films

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Now in the film Malfida Hopkirk doesn’t play as large a role as she did in the book. In the film she seems to be really a nothing character, only being there so Hermione has someone to change into when she, Harry, and Ron are breaking into the Ministry of Magic.

Now in Persuasion Thomas plays Mary Musgrove, not the most important character but still more crucial. Mary is Anne’s sister and horribly whiny and annoying. She’s like the Mrs. Bennet of Persuasion. She is the younger sister and has always been jealous of her eldest and pretty sister Elizabeth, and the nice, quiet, sensitive, sister, Anne. Whenever one of them gets attention she just goes on and on whining about how unfair it is.

Person hate talking

Ugh I hate her. I’ll be writing on her more later.

As Mrs. Bates she’s not much better. Mrs. Bates is a spinster and unlike Emma, she is poor and dependent on the help of others. She lives through her niece Jane, which subsequently means she will not stop talking about her. Everything makes her think of her, she continuously talks about how perfect she is, ugh so annoying.

Ugh

Ugh

But she is a nice woman, just lonely and unhappy so you can’t totally hate her. But you do understand why Emma has a low tolerance for Jane when she comes to live there.

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Guy Henry plays Pius Thicknesse in Harry Potter and John Knightly in Emma

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Now Pius played a bigger role in the books than they give him in the films. In fact, you hardly spend anytime seing him the film, making him pretty nonexistent.

He plays John Knightly in the Emma (1998). John is so annoying. He doesn’t care what anyone says only what he thinks is right. He is such a wet blanket and AWFUL I have a whole ‘nother post on him.

Pride&PrejudiceDarcypunch

For more on John Knightly, go to Take a Chill Pill John Knightly

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Mark Williams played Arthur Weasley, along with Sir John Middleton from Sense and Sensibility (2008)

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As Arthur Weasley, we have the purebred, albeit poor, wizard. He is deeply interested in muggle things and always asking questions on what is the purpose of this item or that one. He is utterly adorable!

You're so cute

But don’t let that fool you. He still is a butt-kicking member of the Order of the Phoenix and will do anything in his power to take down Voldemort.

He also is a great father to not only his massive brood, but to Harry and Hermione as well.

Now Sir John is kind and adorable but often people find him annoying.  He can be a bit intrusive and a gossip, involving himself in other’s affairs (primarily Colonel Brandon’s love life). Now in this remake they toned it down from how active he was in the book and 1995 version, causing his mother-in-law to be the one who really is the busybody.

He is fiercly loyal and caaring for his friends; standing by Colonel Brandon even when others say things about his rash behavior of breaking up the outing. He even forgives Willoughby after the whole Marianne issue. One of the sweetest guys ever.

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Michael Gambon replaced the original Albus Dumbledore along with Mr. Woodhouse in Emma (2009)

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As Dumbledore, Gambon plays the extremely powerful professor, who has a ton of secrets and never reveals them to Harry Potter, even though most of them have to do with him. He is very wise and personable. Also  loved by all the students.

As Mr. Woodhouse, he’s completely different. After he lost his wife to illness, he shrunk as a man. He became very fearful; everything could cause issues and pain, like cake, going outside, etc.

The two are similar in that tragic deaths in their past changed them significantly, but unlike Mr. Woodhouse, Dumbledore isn’t afraid of the world, but afraid of himself.

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All this resulting in:

SnapeProfTrewlaney

and

MadamePomfreyProfessorTrew

and

fatladycornileusfudge

and

fatladyDoloresUmbridge

and

SnapeFudge

and

dumbledorehopkirk

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 For more on Emma, go to Part IX: Adventures in Movie Lines

For more on Persuasion, go to Part VII: It Was Said One Night

For more on Sense and Sensibility, go to Let’s Hear it For the Boys

Part IX: Adventures in Movie Lines (My Favorite Movie Lines List)

AdventuresinMOvieLines

Same drill as before…another installment of my favorite movie lines in no particular order, for your amusement. Enjoy!

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801)”Cameron: You embarrassed the girl. Sacrifice yourself on the alter of dignity and even the score.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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802)”Eloise Y. ‘Honey Bear’ Kelly: Let me jump to my own conclusions.”–Mogambo (1953)

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803)”Uncle Carmine: Brenda, I speak on behalf of your father, my beloved brother, that Morty is garbage, and it would be an honor to me to take him out.”–The First Wives Club (1996)

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804)”Hugh Forbes: Then, a toast: May their days be long and full of happiness; may their children be many and full of health; and may they live in peace… and freedom.”–The Quiet Man (1952)

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805)”Alex Fletcher: [singing] Sleeping with a clown above my bed…[spoken] ‘Clown’ is not right.
Sophie Fisher: That’s “cloud.” Why would you put a clown in your bed?
Alex Fletcher: It would not be the first time.”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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806)”Cal: I will never stop trying. Because when you find the one… you never give up.”–Crazy, Stupid, Love (2011)

Neverleaveyou

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807)”Inspector Lestrade: In another life, Mr. Holmes, you would have made a excellent criminal.
Sherlock Holmes: Yes, and you an excellent policeman.”–Sherlock Holmes (2009)

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808)”[finding empty liquor bottles in trash]

Brenda: Let’s examine the evidence. Look! all bottles and gallon jugs!

Elise: I had guests!

Brenda: Who? Guns N Roses?”–First Wives Club (1996)

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809)”Eloise Y. ‘Honey Bear’ Kelly: The only lions I ever want to see again are the two in front of the public library.”–Mogambo (1953)

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810)”Azeem: Is she worth it?
Robin Hood: Worth dying for.”–Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)

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811)”Alex Fletcher: The best time I’ve had in the last fifteen years was sitting at that piano with you.
Sophie Fisher: That’s wonderfully sensitive… especially from a man who wears such tight pants.
Alex Fletcher: It forces all the blood to my heart.”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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812)”Irene Adler: Why are you always so suspicious?
Sherlock Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically?”–Sherlock Holmes (2009)

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813)”Landon: [voiceover] Jamie saved my life. She taught me everything. About life, hope and the long journey ahead. I’ll always miss her. But our love is like the wind. I can’t see it, but I can feel it.”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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814)”Mrs. Danvers: [the new Mrs. de Winter wants to dispose of Rebecca’s letters] But these are Mrs. de Winter’s things.

The Second Mrs. de Winter: I *am* Mrs. de Winter now!”–Rebecca (1940)

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815)”Wayne Campbell: [to an old man in the neighboring car at a red light] Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?”–Wayne’s World (1992)

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816)”Elise: You think that because I’m a movie star I don’t have feelings. Well you’re wrong. I’m an actress. I’ve got all of them!.”–First Wives Club (1996)

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817)”Sherlock Holmes: You have the grand gift of silence, Watson; it makes you quite invaluable as a companion.”–Sherlock Holmes (2009)

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818)”Mr. Knightly: How pleasant to be absent, but in the hearts of everyone.”–Emma (2009)

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819)”Cleopatra: Together we could conquer the world.”–Cleopatra (1934)

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820)”Bonnie Lopez: [as Reilly is playing his flute] Do you have to do that?
Reilly O’Reilly: Aye. I’m Irish. It’s how I manifest despair.”–Luck of the Irish (2001)

huh

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821)”Alex Fletcher: [Sophie moves a chair] What are you doing, you madwoman, you’re wrecking my apartment!
Sophie Fisher: Well, I can’t write sitting all the way across the room.
Alex Fletcher: No, go back to your corner!
Sophie Fisher: …Fine, all right. [Goes, leaving the chair where she moved it]
Alex Fletcher: I’m blocked. How am I supposed to get out?
Sophie Fisher: Go out the other side.
Alex Fletcher: But… but… I’ve never been out the other side.”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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822)”Sherlock Holmes: It’s a matter of professional integrity! No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man’s dead or not!”–Sherlock Holmes (2009)

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823)”Mrs. de Winter: Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again.”–Rebecca (1940)

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824)Antoninus: Are you afraid to die, Spartacus?
Spartacus: No more than I was to be born.”–Spartacus (1960)

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825)King Leonidas: This is Sparta!”–300 (2006)

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826)”Alex Fletcher: Just a little bit louder, because this song is intended for humans, okay?”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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827)”Tramp: Say no more, I get the whole picture. Aunts, cats, muzzles… Well, that what comes of tying yourself down to one family.

Lady: Haven’t you a family?

Tramp: One for every day of the week. The point is, none of them have me.”–Lady and the Tramp (1941)

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828)”Sctanley: My name is Sctanley, spelled with a C.”–Couples Retreat (2009)

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829)”Stoney: Ya know what, Dave, just Chill, ’cause you know why? Link and I had a Stoney time at the Mountain.
Dave: You took him to Mega Mountain? Are you crazy?
Stoney: Yeah, ’cause they’re ridin’ The Vapor in reverse.
Dave: They are?
Stoney: Unh-huh!
Dave: Oh, cool!”–Encino Man (1992)

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830)”Halley: Sometimes things happens and you just have to deal.”–How to Deal (2003)

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831)”Brenda:[about her ex-husband’s mistress]What’s the matter, Morty? Can’t you buy her a whole dress?”–The First Wives Club (1996)

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832)”Sherlock Holmes: There’s only at one case that intrigues me at present. The curious case of Mrs. Hudson, the absentee landlady. I’ve been studying her comings and goings, they appear most… sinister.
Mrs. Hudson: Tea, Mr. Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: Is it poisoned, Nanny?
Mrs. Hudson: There’s enough of that in you already.”–Sherlock Holmes (2009)

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833)”Mrs. Weston: Perhaps some tea and cake would revive you, Mr. Woodhouse.
Mr. Woodhouse: Cake! Surely you’re not serving cake at your wedding, Miss Taylor! Far too rich, you put us all at peril! Where is Mr. Perry, the apothecary? I’m sure he will support me!
Mrs. Weston: Ah, he is over there, Mr. Woodhouse, having some cake.”–Emma (1996)

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834)”Father of the Bride: Hey, buddy, I’m not paying you to hear your thoughts on life. I’m paying you to sing.
Robbie: Well, I have a microphone, and you don’t, SO YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY D*** WORD I HAVE TO SAY!”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

Boy Meets World

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835)”Nick: When you give up your dream, you die.”–Flashdance (1983)

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836)”Sophie Fisher: Are you OK?
Alex Fletcher: Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. It’s just my Pop! hip. It comes from years of doing our patented dance move. My God, I’ve suffered for my art.”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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837)”Ivana Trump: Ladies, you have to be strong and independent, and remember, don’t get mad, get everything.”–The First Wives Club (1996)

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838)”Rita: This day was perfect. You couldn’t have planned a day like this.
Phil: Well, you can. It just takes an awful lot of work.”–Groundhog Day (1993)

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839)”Qui-Gon Jinn: Remember, your focus determines your reality.”–Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)

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840)”Lori: [walks in] What are you girls doing?
Carrie: Destroying a man.”–John Tucker Must Die (2006)

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841)”Alex Fletcher: They’re aliens, clearly, I have no children.”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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842)”Willy Wonka: The suspense is terrible… I hope it’ll last.”–Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

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843)”Bulldog in Pound: He has an eye for a well-turned paw, he has. Let’s see, there’s been Lulu…

Toughy: Yeah, and Trixie…

Dachsie: Und Fifi…

Pedro: And my sister, Rosita Chiquita Juanita Chihuahua. I think.”–Lady and the Tramp (1941)

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844)”[on being told the Christians are being blamed for the burning of Rome]
Vinicius: The people won’t believe such a lie!
Petronius: But they are believing it. People will believe any lie, if it is fantastic enough.”–Quo Vadis (1951)

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845)”Athena: The gods cannot do for man what man must do for himself.”–The Odyssey (1997)

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846)”Edmund Bertram: Surely you and I are beyond speaking when words are clearly not enough.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

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847)”Robert: So, what’s the deal with this prince of yours? How long you been together?
Giselle: [wistfully] Oh, about a day.
Robert: You mean it feels like a day because you’re so in love.
Giselle: No, it’s been a day.
Robert: You’re kidding me. A day? One day?
Giselle: Yes.
[wistful again]
Giselle: And tomorrow it will be two days.”–Enchanted (2007)

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848)”Cameron: And, um, and here’s another problem. Bianca said that Kat likes pretty guys.
Patrick: [looks confused and slowly rises] Are you telling me I’m not a pretty guy?
Michael: H-He’s very pretty. He’s a gorgeous guy.
Cameron: Yeah. I-I just wasn’t sure. I didn’t know.
Michael: [gives him two thumbs up] You’re a gorgeous guy.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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849)”E.L.F.S. Leader: Tinsel. Not just for decoration.”–The Santa Clause (1994)

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850)”Fanny Price: Beware of fainting fits. Beware of swoons.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

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851)”Alex Fletcher: No, no. He is a jerk! He is a jerk. It’s not a question. He is a jerk!
Sophie Fisher: But…
Alex Fletcher: No, he is! He’s a jerk! He’s a jerk!”–Music & Lyrics (2007)

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852)”Sherlock Holmes: The game’s afoot.”–Sherlock Holmes (2009)

strange things are afoot at the circle k

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853)”Willy Wonka: So shines a good deed in a weary world.”–Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

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854)”Sedgwick: Danny, do you speak Russian?

Danny: A little, but only one sentence.

Sedgwick: Well, let me have it, mate.

Danny: Ya vas lyublyu.

Sedgwick: Ya ya vas…

Danny: Lyublyu.

Sedgwick: Lyubliu? Ya vas lyubliu. Ya vas lyublyu. What’s it mean?

Danny: I love you.

Sedgwick: Love you. What bloody good is that?

Danny: I don’t know, I wasn’t going to use it myself.”–The Great Escape (1963)

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855)”Susan Price: So, this Henry Crawford, what’s he like?

Fanny Price: A rake. I think.

Susan Price: Oh, yes, please.

Fanny Price: They amuse more in literature than they do in life.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

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856)”Hector: And I’ve seen the limits of your mercy and I tell you now, no son of Troy will ever submit to a foreign ruler.”–Troy (2004)

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857)”Young Susan: Think up lots of stories for me and eat hundreds of tarts.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

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858)”Kingpin: There’s an old saying that too much pride can kill a man.”–Daredevil (2003)

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859)”Fanny Price: Run mad as often as you choose but do not faint.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

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860)”Mr. Connors: Well, what I mean is, it’s not what a person looks like that makes them what they are. It’s the intent of their hearts and the good they’re willing to do for others that matters.”–Behind the Waterfall (1995)

Depthofaperson

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861)”Willy Wonka: *We* are the music makers… and *we* are the dreamers of dreams.”–Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

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862)”Daniel Cleaver: If you have to travel alone, travel in style.”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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863)”[Mr. Stratford makes Bianca wear a pregnancy belly before leaving for a party, Patrick arrives and sees her]
Patrick: [to Kat] Who knocked up your sister?”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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864)”Anne Elliot: Are you here for the concert?

Captain Wentworth: No, I am here for a lecture on navigation. Am I in the wrong place?”–Persuasion (1995)

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865)”Edmund Bertram: Your keen adaptability to my brother’s possible demise sends a chill through my heart. A chill. Happily planning parties with his money. You shush my father like a dog at your table, and then you attack Fanny for following her own, infallible guide concerning matters of the heart. All of this leads me to believe that the person I’ve been so apt to dwell on for many months has been a figure of my own imagination, not you, Miss Crawford. I do not know you, and I’m sorry to say, I have no wish to.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

Get out

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866)”Patrick: Was that a yes?
Kat Stratford: No.
Patrick: Well, then, was that a no?
Kat Stratford: No.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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867)”Donkey: Real smooth, Shrek. “I’m an ogre! Arrr!”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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868)“Dr. John Watson: [reading a note from Holmes] Come at once if convenient.
[flips the note over to back side] If inconvenient, come all the same.”Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)

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869)”Mark Darcy: I should have done this years ago.

Daniel Cleaver: Done what?

Mark Darcy: This. [Darcy punches Cleaver, hard]

Daniel Cleaver: Ow. F*** me, that really hurt. What the f*** do you think you’re doing?

Mark Darcy: This.[Darcy punches Cleaver again, even harder]”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

dean_punching_supernatural

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870)”Rogers: What else is there? She says, “Is beauty all that matters?”, and you say, “What else is there?”!

Prince Derek: It was dumb. I know!

Rogers: You should write a book: “How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less”.–The Swan Princess (1994)

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871)”Miles: It’s Christmas Eve and we are going to go celebrate being young and being alive.”–The Holiday (2006)

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872)”Father Fitzgibbons: I’m sure that the way to say what I’d like to say will occur to me after you’ve gone.”–Going My Way (1944)

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873)”Henry Crawford: Fanny. You are killing me.

Fanny Price: No man dies of love but on the stage.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

film-strip-874)”Queen Uberta: Where is Derek? Oh,never mind,I know where he is. Working on the mystery of the Fat Animal.

Rogers: The Great Animal,Your Highness.

Queen Uberta: Great, fat. It’s large and has fur.

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875)”Natasha: Bizarre what some men find attractive.”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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876)”Willy Wonka: So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it. Thank you.”–Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

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877)”Camerlengo Patrick McKenna: I did not ask if you believe what man says about God. I asked if you believe in God.
Robert Langdon: I’m an academic. My mind tells me I will never understand God.
Camerlengo Patrick McKenna: And your heart?
Robert Langdon: Tells me I’m not meant to. Faith is a gift that I have yet to receive.”–Angel & Demons (2009)

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878)”Edmund Bertram: There are as many forms of love as there are moments in time.”–Mansfield Park (1999)

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879)”Willy Wonka: A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.”–Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

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1080)”Denise Hennessey: I hate cosmetics companies. They get you addicted to the perfect lipstick or nail polish and then, six months later, they discontinue it. You have to buy your favorite colors like you’re storing up for the Apocalypse.”–P.S. I Love You (2007)

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1081)”Prince Derek: What? You’re all I ever wanted. You’re beautiful!

Odette: Thank you. But what else?

Prince Derek: What else?

Odette: Is beauty all that matters to you?

Queen Uberta: Derek, what else?

Prince Derek: [stammers; to Odette] What else is there?

[Rogers imitates a buzzer]”–The Swan Princess (1994)

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 882)”Fanny Price: Is it possible to be so happy?”

Edmund Bertram: Yes. Let’s make it our business, Mrs. Bertram, to happy ever after.–Mansfield Park (2007)

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883)”Kat Stratford: [to Patrick  after he asks her out for the first time] Do you even know my name screwboy?”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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884)”Walter Burns: [ducking from Hildy’s throw and reaching for the ringing telephone] Oh, you’re losing your arm! You used to be able to pitch better than that.”–His Girl Friday (1940)

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885)”Daniel Cleaver: Come on Bridget, we belong together – you, me, poor little skirt. If I can’t make it with you then I can’t make it with anyone.

Bridget: That’s not a good enough offer for me.”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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886)”Odysseus: Sometimes you need to serve in order to lead.”–Troy (2004)

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887)”Cardinal Strauss: [emphatically] Man is flawed, always. Even this one.”–Angels & Demons (2009)

 

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888)”Rothbart: Once you steal something, you spend your whole life fighting to keep it.”–The Swan Princess (1994)

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889)”Ms. Perky: So, I hear you were terrorizing Mr. Morgan’s class… again.
Kat Stratford: Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action.
Ms. Perky: The way you expressed your opinion to Bobby Ridgeway? By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, in case you’re interested.
Kat Stratford: I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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890)”Roy Miller: I’ve been trained to dismantle a bomb in the pitch black with nothing but a safety pin and a Junior Mint, I think I can get you in and out of some clothes without… looking. I’m not saying that’s what I did.”–Knight and Day (2010)

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891)”Cardinal Strauss: Mr. Langdon, thanks be to God for sending someone to protect His church.
Robert Langdon: I don’t believe He sent me, father.
Cardinal Strauss: Oh my son, of course He did…”–Angels & Demons (2009)

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892)”Princess Odette: Will you love me, Derek? Until the day I die?

Prince Derek: No, Odette, much longer. Much longer.”–The Swan Princess (1994)

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893)”Captain Harvile: Poor Phoebe, she would not have forgotten him so soon. It was not in her nature.

Anne Elliot: It would not be in the nature of any woman who truly loved.

Captain Harvile: Do you claim that for your sex?

Anne Elliot: We do not forget you as soon as you forget us. We cannot help ourselves. We live at home, quiet, confined, and our feelings prey upon us. You always have business of some sort or other to take you back into the world.

Captain Harvile: I won’t allow it to be any more man’s nature than women’s to be inconstant or to forget those they love or have loved. I believe the reverse. I believe… Let me just observe that all histories are against you, all stories, prose, and verse. I do not think I ever opened a book in my life which did not have something to say on women’s fickleness.

Anne Elliot: But they were all written by men.”–Persuasion (1995)

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894)”Kat Stratford: We’re going now.
Walter Stratford: Alright, wait a minute. No drinking, no drugs, no kissing, no tattoos, no piercings, *no* ritual animal slaughters of any kind. Oh, God, I’m giving them ideas.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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895)”Mark Darcy: I like you, very much.

Bridget: Ah, apart from the smoking and the drinking, the vulgar mother and… ah, the verbal diarrhea.

Mark Darcy: No, I like you very much. Just as you are.”–Bridget Jones’Diary (2001)

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896)”Gru: This is literature? A two year old could have written this!”–Despicable Me (2010)

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897)”Joey: Mr. Morgan, is there any chance we could get Kat to take her Midol *before* she comes to class?
Mr. Morgan: Someday, you gonna get b****-slapped and I’m not gonna do a thing to stop it.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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898)”Willy Wonka: If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it; want to change the world… there’s nothing to it.”–Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

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899)”Odysseus: [to Achilles] War is young men dying and old men talking. You know this. Ignore the politics.”–Troy (2004)

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900)”Bridget: The only thing worse than smug married couple; lots of smug married couples.”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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For the previous list, go to Part VIII: The Little Movie Lines List

For more on 10 Things I Hate About You, go to You’re Just Too Good to Be True

For more on 300, go to Part VII: It Was Said One Night

For more on A Walk to Remember, go to Fulfilling the List

For more on Behind the Waterfall, go to Pot o’ Gold

For more on Bridget Jones’ Diary, go to The Beauty of Darcy

For more on Cleopatra (1934) go to Snakes on a Post

For more on Crazy, Stupid, Love; go to Save the Last Dance for Me

For more on Emma, go to It’s All Jane Austen’s Fault

For more on Enchanted, go to According to Disney

For more on Flashdance, go to Darcy’s Dream Date

For more on The Holiday, go to 25 Films of Christmas

For more on John Tucker Must Die, go to Sucky Sequels

For more on Luck of the Irish, go to Friday Night Fun

For more on Mansfield Park, go to On the 10th Day ‘Til Christmas

For more on Music & Lyrics, go to I’m Sorry Sounds Better in a Song

For more on Persuasion, go to A Letter of Love

For more on Rebecca (1940), go to Mr. Darcy: Man of Dreams

For more on The Santa Clause, go to On the 11th Day ‘Til Christnas

For more on Sherlock Holmes, go to The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind

For more on Star Wars, go to And Away We Go

For more on the Swan Princess, go to You Should Write a Book

For more on Wayne’s World, go to Episode III: Revenge of the My Favorite Movie Lines’ List

For more on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, go to A Trip to the Mall Turns into the Twilight Zone

For more on The Wedding Singer, go to Love Stinks

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For more on Frank Perettigo to It’s Alive, It’s ALIVE!

For more of my fav quotes, go to Be Good to Yourself

Part VII: It Was Said One Night (My Favorite Movie Line List)

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Here we go again! Another list! Hope you all enjoy it!

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601)”Gru: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What was that? She hit that. I saw that with my own eyes.
Carnival Barker: Well, you see that little spaceship there? You see how it’s not knocked over? You know what that means, Professor? It means you don’t get the unicorn! Aw, somebody’s got a frowny face! Better luck next time.
Gru: Okay, my turn.[Gru takes out a plasma gun and fires it, destroying the stand and disintegrating the spaceship] Knocked over!”–Despicable Me (2010)

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602)”Graham: Well, I cry all the time.
Amanda: You do not.
Graham: Yeah I do. More than any woman you’ve ever met.
Amanda: You don’t have to be this nice.
Graham: It happens to be the truth.
Amanda: Really?
Graham: A good book, a great film, a birthday card, I weep.
Amanda: Shut up.
Graham: I’m a major weeper.”–The Holiday (2006)

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603)”Wayne Campbell: So, do you come to Milwaukee often?
Alice Cooper: Well, I’m a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers were coming here as early as the late 1600s to trade with the Native Americans.
Pete: In fact, isn’t “Milwaukee” an Indian name?
Alice Cooper: Yes, Pete, it is. Actually, it’s pronounced “mill-e-wah-que” which is Algonquin for “the good land.”
Wayne Campbell: I was not aware of that.”–Wayne’s World (1992)

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604)”Derek Zoolander: I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.”–Zoolander (2001)

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605)”Marian: There is a price on your head.
Robin Hood: How much?
Marian: One hundred gold pieces.
Robin Hood: Is that all? I shall have to annoy the good Sheriff more. Soon it will be a thousand.
Marian: For a thousand, I would turn you in myself.”––Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)

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606)”Sammy: What I’m saying is all I really want is someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be all right.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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607)”April: Don’t make me staple your head.”–Definitely, Maybe (2008)

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608)”Cynthia Morales: Love is not always that easy, Anna.
Alan Weiss: Nothing worth getting ever is.”–Chasing Liberty (2004)

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609)”Spartan King Leonidas: Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty… For tonight, we dine in hell!” –300 (2006)

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610)”Derek Zoolander: Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.”–Zoolander (2001)

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611)”Spartacus: All men lose when they die and all men die. But a slave and a free man lose different things.
Tigranes Levantus: They both lose life.
Spartacus: When a free man dies, he loses the pleasure of life. A slave loses his pain. Death is the only freedom a slave knows. That’s why he’s not afraid of it. That’s why we’ll win.”–Spartacus (1960)

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612)”Airport Guy: Hey, do you like A Flock Of Seagulls?
Robbie: [sees the guys hair is just like the lead singer of A Flock Of Seagulls] I can see YOU do.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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613)”Miles: [holds up a copy of “The Graduate” on DVD] Uh oh… “Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio… “? I bet you didn’t know, it was all written for the movie, it was a score, technically.
Dustin Hoffman: I can’t believe this… I can’t go anywhere.”–The Holiday (2006)

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614)Robbie:[Singing] You don’t know how much I need you. While you’re near me, I don’t feel blue. And when we kiss I know you need me to. I can’t believe I found a love that’s so pure and true. But it all was bulls***. It was a ******* joke. And when I think of you, Linda, I hope you f****** choke. I hope you’re glad with what you’ve done to me. I lay in bed all day long feeling melancholy. You left me here, all alone, tears running constantly. Oh would somebody kill me please? Somebody kill me please. I’m on my knees, pretty pretty please. Kill me. I want to die. Put a bullet in my heeeeaaaad.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

Wedding Singer Love False Stinks

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615)”Dimitri: If we live through this, remind me to thank you.”–Anastasia (1997)

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616)”Derek Zoolander: What say we settle this on the runway… Han-Solo?
Hansel: Are you challenging me to a walk-off… Boo-Lander?”–Zoolander (2001)

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617)”Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you’re getting fat and maybe it’s been raining too long, you’re just sad that’s all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you’re afraid and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
Paul Varjak: Sure.
Holly Golightly: Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany’s. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that’d make me feel like Tiffany’s, then – then I’d buy some furniture and give the cat a name!”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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618)”Stoney: If you’re edged ’cause I’m weazin all your grindage, just chill. ‘Cause if I had the whole brady bunch thing happenin’ at my pad, I’d go grind over there, so dont tax my gig so hard-core cruster.”–Encino Man (1992)

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619)”Will Hayes: I kept the book…
April: Yeah?
Will Hayes: Because it was the only thing that I had left of you.”–Definitely, Maybe (2008)

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620)”Dowager Empress Marie: You’ll stop at nothing, will you?
Dimitri: I’m probably about as stubborn as you are.”–Anastasia (1997)

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621)”Det. Nunzio: [after Scott got arrested] Look, I know you’re Scott Calvin. You know you’re Scott Calvin. So let’s make this simple: I say ‘name’, you say ‘Scott Calvin’. [Gestures Scott to come close] Name?

Scott Calvin: Kris Kringle.

Det. Nunzio: Name?

Scott Calvin: Sinterklaas.

Det. Nunzio: [annoyed] Name!

Scott Calvin: Pere Noel. Babbo Natale. Pelznickel. [Imitates Ed Sullivan] Topo Gigio!”–The Santa Clause (1994)

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622)”Captain of the Guards: Yep, that’s catnip…
Puss-in-Boots: Um… that’s… not mine…”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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623)”Tom Fox: He doesn’t have a passport.
Carl Hanratty: For the last six months, he’s gone to Harvard and Berkeley. I’m betting he can get a passport.”–Catch Me if You Can (2002)

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624)”Bartlett: Virgil, isn’t it?

Hilts: Hilts. Just make it Hilts.”–The Great Escape (1963) 

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625)”Duke: What’re you gonna do, drown me in your tears?
Justin: I did not cry during that game. I had something in my eye.”–She’s the Man (2006)

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626)”Holly Golightly: I’ve got to do something about the way I look. I mean a girl just can’t go to Sing Sing with a green face.”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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627)”Roger Thornhill: I’m being followed. Can you do something about that?
Taxi Driver #2: Yes I can.
Roger Thornhill: Do it.”–North by Northwest (1959)

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628)”Shmi Skywalker: You can’t stop change any more than you can stop the suns from setting.”–Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)

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629)”Will Hayes: Here… I wanna marry you because you’re the first person I wanna look at when I wake up in the morning, and the only one I wanna kiss goodnight. Because the first time that I saw these hands, I couldn’t imagine not being able to hold them. But mainly, when you love someone as much as I love you, getting married is the only thing left to do. So, will you, um, marry me?
April: Definitely. Maybe.”–Definitely, Maybe (2008)

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630)”Matt Murdock: So does every guy have to go through this just to find out your name?
Elektra: You should try asking for my number.”–Daredevil (2003)

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631)”Bianca: Has the fact that you’re completely psycho managed to escape your attention?”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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632)”Robbie: We’re living in a material world and I am a material girl… or boy.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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633)”Frank Abagnale, Jr.: Brenda, I don’t want to lie to you anymore. All right? I’m not a doctor. I never went to medical school. I’m not a lawyer, or a Harvard graduate, or a Lutheran. Brenda, I ran away from home a year and a half ago when I was 16.
Brenda Strong: Frank? Frank? You’re not a Lutheran?”–Catch Me if You Can (2002)

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634)”Emperor Nero: [During the burning of Rome] What does the mob want?
Petronius: Justice.
Emperor Nero: A mob doesn’t want justice – they want revenge!”–Quo Vadis (1951)

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635)”Marylee Hadley: I’m allergic to politeness.”–Written on the Wind (1956)

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636)”Derek Zoolander: But why male models?
J.P. Prewitt: Are you serious? I just told you that a moment ago.”–Zoolander (2001)

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637)”Luther: If you’re gonna talk the talk, you gotta walk the walk. Otherwise you’ll be lined in chalk. “–The New Guy (2002)

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638)”Richard Dadier: Yeah, I’ve been beaten up, but I’m not beaten. I’m not beaten, and I’m not quittin’.” –Blackboard Jungle (1955)

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639)”Anne Elliot: If I may, so long as the woman you love lives, and lives for you, all the privilege I claim for my own sex, and it is not a very enviable one – you need not covet it, is that of loving longest when all hope is gone.”–Persuasion (1995)

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640)”Anderson: Sir, helmets interfere with my psychic abilities.
Judge Dredd: Think a bullet in the head might interfere with them more.”–Dredd (2012)

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641)”Mr. Knightley: Men of sense, whatever you may say, do not want silly wives!”–Emma (1996)

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642)”Raphael: For what is an artist in this world but a servant, a lackey for the rich and powerful? Before we even begin to work, to feed this craving of ours, we must find a patron, a rich man of affairs, or a merchant, or a prince or… a Pope. We must bow, fawn, kiss hands to be able to do the things we must do or die. [chuckles] We are harlots always peddling beauty at the doorsteps of the mighty.
Michelangelo: If it comes to that, I won’t be an artist.
Raphael: [scoffs] You’ll always be an artist. You have no choice.”–The Agony and the Ecstasy (1965)

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643)”Alex: You’re my exception.”–He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

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644)”Derek Zoolander: Wait a minute. I might just have an idea. They’ll be looking for us at Maury’s right? But they won’t be looking for… not us.”–Zoolander (2001)

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645)”Dean: If there is a higher power, why is it He can’t get you a new sweater?
Jamie: He’s too busy looking for your brain.”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

Sarcasm

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646)”Beth: I just need you to stop being nice to me unless you’re gonna marry me.”–He’s Just Not That Into You

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647)”Policeman: How does the girl fit into the picture?

John L. Sullivan: There’s always a girl in the picture. What’s the matter, don’t you go to the movies?”–Sullivan’s Travels (1941)

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648)”Maya Hayes: What’s the boy word for ‘slut’?
Will Hayes: They still haven’t come up with one yet. But I’m sure they’re working on it.”–Definitely, Maybe (2008)

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649)”Rocky Balboa: I just also wanna thank God. Except for my kid bein’ born, this is the greatest night in the history of my life. I just wanna say one thing to my wife who’s home: YO, ADRIAN! I DID IT!”–Rocky II (1979)

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650)”Arthur Abbott: I’ve got something for you.
[picks up a corsage]
Iris: [touched] Oh.
Arthur Abbott: Forgive me. The last time I had a date, this this is what we did.
Iris: It’s beautiful.
[kisses Arthur on the cheek]
Arthur Abbott: If it’s corny, or if it’s going to ruin your outfit, you don’t have to wear it.
Iris: [Iris puts the corsage on her wrist] I like corny. [Takes Arthur’s hands] I’m looking for corny in my life.” –The Holiday (2006)

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651)”Derek Zoolander: Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking “wow, you’re ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career.”
Matilda: Do what for a career?
Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good looking.”–Zoolander (2001)

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652)”Robin Hood: Blinkin, listen to me. They’ve taken the castle!
Blinkin: I thought it felt a bit drafty. Cor, this never would have happened if your father was alive.
Robin Hood: He’s dead?
Blinkin: Yes…
Robin Hood: And my mother?
Blinkin: She died of pneumonia while…[Remembers] Oh, you were away!
Robin Hood: My brothers?
Blinkin: There were all killed by the plague.
Robin Hood: My dog, Pongo?
Blinkin: Run over by a carriage.
Robin Hood: My goldfish, Goldie?
Blinkin: Eaten by the cat.
Robin Hood: [on the verge of tears] My cat?
Blinkin: Choked on the goldfish. [pause] Oh, it’s good to be home, ain’t it, Master Robin?”–Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

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653)”Sir Thomas More: Why not be a teacher? You’d be a fine teacher; perhaps a great one.
Richard Rich: If I was, who would know it?
Sir Thomas More: You; your pupils; your friends; God. Not a bad public, that.”–A Man for All Seasons (1966)

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654)”Donkey: [singing] The sun will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom…
[trails off]
Shrek: Bet my bottom?”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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655)”Roger Thornhill: Handle with care, fellas. I’m valuable property.”–North by Northwest (1959)

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656)”Arthur Abbott: Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.
Iris: You’re so right. You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for god’s sake! Arthur, I’ve been going to a therapist for three years, and she’s never explained anything to me that well. That was brilliant. Brutal, but brilliant.”–The Holiday (2006)

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657)”Mr. Knightley: I can think of nothing less appealing than an evening of watching other people dance. Go on! [throwing stick for dog to fetch]
Emma Woodhouse: Then you shall have to dance yourself.
Mr. Knightley: I have no taste for it. I’d rather fetch that stick.
Emma Woodhouse: I’ll try to remember to bring it to the ball.”–Emma (1996)

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658)”Agnes: I like him. He’s nice.
Edith: He’s scary.
Agnes: Like Santa.”–Despicable Me (2010)

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659)”Robbie: See? Billy Idol gets it!”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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660)”Mrs. Robinson: Elaine, it’s too late!
Elaine: Not for me!”–The Graduate (1967)

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661)”Gru: I went to kindergarten, I know how the alphabet works.”–Despicable Me (2010)

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662)”Father of the Bride: You are the worst wedding singer in the world, buddy!
Robbie: Sir, one more outburst, I will strangle you with my microphone wire. You understand me.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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663)”Donkey: Oh, Shrek. Don’t worry. Things just seem bad because it’s dark and rainy and Fiona’s father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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664)”Benjamin: Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me.”–The Graduate (1967)

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665)”Man at Prairie Crossing: That’s funny, that plane’s dustin’ crops where there ain’t no crops.”–North by Northwest (1959)

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666)”Margaret Tate: Was that your family?
Andrew Paxton: Yes.
Margaret Tate: Tell you to quit.
Andrew Paxton: Every single day.”–The Proposal (2009)

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667)”Robbie: Hey, psycho – we’re not gonna discuss this, OK, it’s over. Please get out of my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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668)”Molly Malloy: If you was worth breaking my nails on I’d tear your face wide open.”–His Girl Friday (1940)

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669)”Eve Kendall: [Hanging by their fingers from Mount Rushmore] What happened with your first two marriages?
Roger Thornhill: My wives divorced me.
Eve Kendall: Why?
Roger Thornhill: They said I led too dull a life.”–North by Northwest (1959)

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670)”Holly Golightly: A girl can’t read that sort of thing without her lipstick.”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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671)”Gidget: Oh boy, the bigger they are the dopier they come.”–Gidget (1959)

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672)”Dudley Frank: The music moves me, but it moves me ugly.”–Wild Hogs (2007)

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673)”Linda: I don’t ever want to marry you.
Robbie: [takes a deep breath, sighs] Gee, you know that information… really would’ve been more useful to me *yesterday.*
Linda: I’ve been talking with my friends the last few days…
Robbie: Oh, boy, here it comes.
Linda: …and I think I’ve figured out what’s been bothering me. I’m not in love with Robbie, now. I’m in love with Robbie, six years ago. Robbie, the lead singer of Final Warning; I used to come watch you when you were in your silk shirt and Spandex pants, and you would sing into the microphone like you were David Lee Roth.
Robbie: I’ve still got the Spandex; I’ll put ’em on right now.
Linda: The point is, I woke up this morning and realized I’m about to get married to a wedding singer? I am never gonna leave Richfield!
Robbie: Why do you need to leave Richfield? We grew up here. All our friends are here; it’s the perfect place to raise a family.
Linda: Oh, yeah – sure! Living in your sister’s basement with five kids while you’re off every weekends doing wedding gigs at a whoppin’ sixty bucks a pop?
Robbie: Once again, things that could’ve been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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674)”Hildy Johnson: Walter, you’re wonderful, in a loathsome sort of way.”–His Girl Friday (1940)

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675)”Paul Varjak: [about Holly and Jose] So you’re getting married, then?
Holly Golightly: Well, he hasn’t really asked me, not in so many words.
Paul Varjak: Four you mean?
Holly Golightly: Huh?
Paul Varjak: Well that’s how many it takes: will you marry me?”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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676)”Edith: Are these beds made from bombs?
Gru: Yes, but they are very old and are not likely to explode. But don’t toss and turn.
Edith: Cool!”–Despicable Me (2010)

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677)”Dudley Frank: [after tasting some of Maggi’s chili] Mother of God! I swallowed hot lava!”–Wild Hogs (2007)

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678)”Sammy: If you find somebody you can love, you can’t let that get away.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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679)”Walter Burns: What do you think I am, a crook?
Hildy Johnson: Yes.”–His Girl Friday (1940)

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680)”Paul Varjak: And I always heard people in New York never get to know their neighbors.”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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681)”Maggie: You coming back through?
Dudley Frank: Maybe. A biker never knows. A week, a month.[pauses] Six days, ten hours, 27 minutes, give or take six minutes for wind resistance.”–Wild Hogs (2007)

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682)”[Harriet and Mr. Elton are talking as Emma tries to listen from behind a bush]
Rev. Elton: I love… I simply love…
Emma Woodhouse [to herself]: Could this be? The declaration?
Rev. Elton: Celery root.”–Emma (1996)

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683)”Shrek: The kingdom of FAR FAR Away, Donkey? That’s where we’re going! FAR! FAR!… away.”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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684)”Holly Golightly: It should take you exactly four seconds to cross from here to that door. I’ll give you two.”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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685)Gidget: Honest to goodness it’s the absolute ultimate!”–Gidget (1959)

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686)”Landon: Uh, yes, sir. I’d like to ask your daughter to dinner on Saturday night.
Reverend Sullivan: That’s not possible.
Landon: Well… with all due respect, sir, I ask you to reconsider.
Reverend Sullivan: With all due respect, Mr. Carter, I made my decision. You can, uh, exit the way you entered.
Landon: Listen, I’m sorry I haven’t treated Jamie the way I should’ve. She deserves more than that. I’m just asking you for the same thing that you teach us every day in Church. And that’s faith.”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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687)”Prince Charming: Princess… Fiona?
Wolf: NO!
Prince Charming: Oh, thank heavens!”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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688)”Paul Varjak: You know what’s wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You’re chicken, you’ve got no guts. You’re afraid to stick out your chin and say, “Okay, life’s a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that’s the only chance anybody’s got for real happiness.” You call yourself a free spirit, a “wild thing,” and you’re terrified somebody’s gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you’re already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it’s not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It’s wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.”-Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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689)”Landon: Do you love me?
[she nods]
Landon: Will you do something for me, then?
Jamie: [smiles] Anything.
Landon: Will you marry me?”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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690)”Robbie: All right, remember – alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you!”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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691)”Holly Golightly: You could always tell what kind of a person a man thinks you are by the earrings he gives you. I must say, the mind reels.”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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692)”Dave: [At Home Depot] Please don’t pee in that, it’s not a real toilet.”–Couples Retreat (2009)

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693)”Mr. Knightly: [About Elton] That man is so full of himself I am surprised he can stay on that horse.”–Emma (2009)

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694)”Agnes: Why are you wearing your pajamas?
Vector: They’re not pajamas! It’s my warm-up suit.
Agnes: Why do you need warming up for?
Vector: For doing stuff.
Margo: What kind of stuff?
Vector: Super-cool stuff you wouldn’t understand.
Agnes: Like sleeping?”–Despicable Me (2010)

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695)”Walter Stratford: Hello, Katarina. Make anyone cry today?
Kat Stratford: Sadly, no. But it’s only 4:30.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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696)”Fairy Godmother: Don’t you point those dirty, green sausages at me!”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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697)”Emma Woodhouse: Oh, but if he seems happy, I will know that he’s decided to marry Harriet, and I will not, I know I will not be able to let him tell me. But if he seems sad, I’ll know that John has advised him against it. I love John! Or he may seem sad because he fears telling me he will marry my friend. How can John let him do that? I hate John!”–Emma (1996)

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698)”Joey: When you’re living in my house, you’re a Taliban! Okay? You keep your body a secret. Except you get to, you know, go to school and read books.”–Couples Retreat (2009)

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699)”Edith: When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this’d be more like Annie.”–Despicable Me (2010)

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700)”Receptionist: Look, she’s not seeing any clients today. Okay?
Shrek: That’s okay, buddy. We’re from the union.
Receptionist: The union?
Shrek: We represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign.
Receptionist: Oh, of course.
Shrek: Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed?
Receptionist: A little. We don’t even have dental.
Shrek: They don’t even have dental. Okay, we’re gonna have a look around. And buddy, it would be better if the Fairy Godmother doesn’t know about this. Know what I mean? Hmm?”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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For more on the film It Happened One Night, which this title is a parody of, go to I Don’t Want the Money

For more My Favorite Movie Lines List, go to Episode VI: Return of the Movie Lines List

For more on 10 Things I Hate About You, go to You’re Just Too Good To Be True

For more on A Walk To Remember, go to Fulfilling the List

For more on Anastasia, go to I’ll Always Be There When You Need Me

For more on Catch Me If You Can and The Holiday, go to the 25 Films of Christmas

For more on Daredevil, go to Pot o’ Gold

For more on Definitely Maybe and Zoolander, go to It’s BACK

For more on Disney, go to  For She Filled Their Lives With Sunshine

For more on Emma (1996), go to I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me

For more on Emma (2009), go to Obviously You’ve Never Met George Knightly

For more on He’s Just NOT That Into You, go to You’re My Exception

For more on Persuasion, go to Oh Oh De Lally

For more on Shrek 2, go to I Wouldn’t Change You, Darling!

For more on Star Wars, go to And Away We Go

For more on The Santa Clause, go to On the 11th Day ‘Til Christmas

For more on Wayne’s World, go to Episode III:Revenge of My Movie Lines List

For more on The Wedding Singer, go to Wanna Grow Old With You

For more on Wild Hogs, go to Sucky Sequels