What’s Your Line

Guys have the stupidest lines in the world. And what really gets me is when you try and help a guy out and tell them what to say that would be better at getting the girl’s attention and they tell you:

“You’re not a guy, you don’t know anything”

Oh of course, I’m just a girl so I must “have no clue” what girls like. I mean seriously!

For all the guys out there here are some lines that have guys used on me that you should not use. Repeat: You should NOT use these.

 

“How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice!”

That is just sooooo lame. I don’t know anyone who would be into that

“If you where a pirate would you want your parrot on this shoulder? [Puts hand on shoulder closest to him] OR this one? [Puts hand on shoulder farthest away, therefore having arm around girl’s shoulders]

This will cause the girl to push you away, and yell at you. I mean who do you think you are coming up to someone you don’t know and doing that?

“Hey want to have my friend’s baby?”

Puh-leaze! What on earth made you think that was a great line? Most likely you will be slapped.

“Hey babe, wanna give me a refresher course in the female anatomy?”

Heck no loser! Another candidate for getting slapped.

“Hey babe, those are great pants! You’d look better with them off thought.”

Like seriously what about that is going to make me want to spend time with you? Another slap.

“Guy: I wish I could have what I need to be happy

Girl: You deserve to be happy

Guy: Great so that means were going out!”

Excuse me? I did not say that I was going to bring your happiness. Slow down crazy!

“Do you know karate? Cause your body’s kicking!”

Whatever your friends may say, that line is not gold but LAME. One time a guy asked me that and I said I did and was a black belt (not a complete lie) and that got the guy to leave me alone!

“Do you like your eggs fried or fertilized”

Gross and deserving of another slap.

“[Jumping out of a bush] Will you go out with me?”

Sorry I don’t date STALKERS! Seriously, presentation is important! Don’t act like a creep!

“Hey I’m cheap. You can have me for a chicken dinner. I’ll make you a winner!”

Ick. Now I’ll have nightmares for days

“Hey take me home tonight, we’ll have a dance party!”

No way Jose! And that line is muy es tonto!

“You must be tired because you’ve been running through me dreams all night!”

Yeah well, I didn’t take a pit stop there. LAME!

“You should come over tonight and be my nurse. Help me with my health.”

Yeah right perv, the only role playing I want to do is where you are a soccor ball so I can kick you.

I’m really good with my hands!

Ick! That’s so disgusting I don’t know what to say to it.

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These are all I can think of today, but I’ll probably post more. I’m always being hit on by weirdos. It’s like I have some scent that attracts them. Post a comment with any lame lines that you have been hit on by a guy or girl and your reaction!

I found this online, and it will be my response from now on.

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For more on Disney, go to Cinderelly, Cinderelly

For more on modern times, go to Where Oh Where Can it Be?

For more on Beauty and the Beast, go to According to Disney

For more on Gaston, go to There’s No One Like Gaston

For more on Cinderella, go to Episode VI: Return of the Favorite Movie Lines List

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Mr. Darcy: Man of Dreams

The many handsome men who have played Mr. Darcy

Last night I dreamed I went to Manderly…

Just kidding! 😀 Last night as I dozed off to La-la-land, Mr. Darcy decided to make a pit stop and visit me along the way.

Anyways, in my dream last night Mr. Darcy appeared. Not very unusual you might say, as many women dream of him with his face being one of these above choices. But to me I found it odd as:

  1. The last thing I thought of before I went to bed was the movie, Walk the Line. If any famous man showed up in my dreams I was expecting it to be Johnny Cash or Joaquin Phoenix
  2. Mr. Darcy wasn’t his usual self, a gentleman from Regency England, but instead an Englishman from present time

Usually if Darcy makes an appearance in my dreams he never comes as a modern man. Must be watching too much Lizzie Bennet Diaries or something. ( I heavily recommend the Lizzie Bennet diaries as I felt they are doing a wonderful job.)

So Mr. Darcy, a Bill Gates/Steve Jobs technology emperor, was visiting me. Apparently we had mutual friends. I had to clean my whole house as I knew Mr. Darcy would be insufferable making fun of anything he feels that is tacky or beneath him. I also spent hours preparing the perfect meal, so he couldn’t make any comments about it being lowbrow. However, he had already had his change of heart and was trying to be kind to me:

mr darcy

 

When my niece wakes me up asking me to make her  breakfast and play barbies.

I spent the whole dream working, that when I woke up I felt even tireder than before. Aw, but such is life!

But it got me thinking, if Mr. Darcy was in today’s time what do you think he would be interested in doing? He would have plenty of  money and a good education, what do you think he would be most interested in?

Leave a comment!

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For more of my dreams, go to Krueger Town

For more on Mr. Darcy, go to Mr. Darcy’s Dream Date

For more on Pride and Prejudice, go to Flirting With Disaster 

For more on the Lizzie Bennet Diaries, go to It is A Truth Universally Acknowledged…