A Very Scary Story: Even Steven (2001)

Wait. Stop. I, I can’t take it, I’m just a little kid!

So I know this isn’t a movie, but I’m strapped for time and making an exception.

I loved Even Stevens as a kid, and thought it was the best show ever. This was back when Shia LaBeouf wasn’t weird or annoying. I remember that this episode was freaky and funny, the best thing for getting you in the Halloween mood.

So the film starts out with Ren watching a horror movie.

Ren Stevens: What? Honey, you’re chased by six mutants, and you just decided to take a shower?

All of a sudden the phone rings, and in a very Scream-esque/When a Stranger Calls way the caller harasses her telling her he can see her and stuff.

What’s your favorite scary movie?

Ren very angry, freaked out, and promptly hangs up. But instead of feeling safer, Ren hears sounds abounding from all over the house. She is extremely frightened as she traces the noises back to the closet.

She opens the door and there is……….

Louis

I’m a penguin jockey! NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NAH!

Ren of course is as uptight as always and extremely angry that Louis would play such a prank on her. She screams at him and they go their separate ways.

The next day, Ren is planning on giving out eye exams while Louis wants to plant fake eyes in the gravy at school. He plans to meet up with his friends; Tom, Twitty, and Tawny (I always thought it was funny how they all had T names) later to gross out the cafeteria crowd.

After their littke pow-wow Tom heads off to get his eyes examined. There he finds Principal Wexler dressed as a mad scientist and Coach Tugnut as Igor; alluding to the film Frankenstein.

Later, Louis finds out that all his friends have ditched their plans to prank the school. In fact all they care about is drinking milk and if this prank will go on their permanent record.

Tom Gribalski: suddenly got quite the hankering for the moo juice. It’s an excellent source of calcium for overall skeletal health…if something like that [the prank] went down on our permanent record, it would follow us for the rest of our lives.

In fact everyone in the school is walking around drinking milk, talking about permanant records, and trying to get Louis to get his eyes examined. What is going on in that room, will Louis survive or succumb to this mad Halloween nightmare?

You’ll have to watch and find out! Let me just say I absolutely loved the end! I’m sure you guys will too!

To start Horrorfest from the beginning, go to I Don’t Belong in the World

To go to the previous post, go to A Deliciously Creepy Tale

For more on Disney, go to A Fright on Halloween Night

For more mad scientists, go to  It’s Alive, It’s ALIVE!

A Fright on Halloween Night: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1949)

You can’t reason with a headless man.

As a kid I remember that this movie used to scare the bejeezus out of me. The headless horseman was uber creepy.

Ghosts are bad, but the one that’s cursed,
Is the Headless Horseman; he’s the worst!

But the film is amazing!

One reason why it was so fantastic was that they had the very handsome, and very charming Bing Crosby be the narrator and singer.

I love this man!

He doesn’t even have to show his face, just listening to his voice is enough for me.

With this film, Disney actually manages to do an extremely good job at creating a fun, but still creepy children’s film. They also managed to keep it very similar to the short story, in fact taking pieces from the actual text and placing it in the film.

🚨FYI Spoiler Alert🚨 

So the cartoon starts out with the classic Disney opening:

All fairy tales or films based on short stories and novels used to open with the pages of a book. I miss that opening and wish they portrayed it in more films. I know they brought it back for Enchanted, but I still wish there was more of it.

The first person we are introduced to is Brom Bones

I never liked Brom. He always seemed like a jerk to me. He was big and brawny, “handsome” to some; but a mean bully. He reminds me of a lesser cool Gaston. (I love Gaston, even though he is a jerk. His song is awesome)

Anyways, Brom is shocked at the appereance of a new man in town. In fact this stranger suprises everyone. It’s Ichabod, Ichabod Crane, the school teacher.

“Debonair and devil-may-care
It’s the new schoolmaster
What’s his name
Ichabod!
Ichabod Crane!”

He’s tall, rail thin, and has one heck of a schnozza; but I always liked him better as he was well-read and not a loser like Brom.

Icabod also loves to eat. He goes to his student’s homes to partake in their food, making it a complete part of his lifestyle.

Even though Ichabod isn’t really a looker he still has all the girls in town’s hearts a flutter.

With a voice like Bing Crosby’s who could blame them?

This of course upsets Brom, who tries his best to prank Ichabod and make him seem dumb.

Next to enter the scene is the lovely Katrina Van Tassel. Not only is she the prettiest in the town, but her father is the richest man.

“Narrator: Oh, Katrina, my love. Who can resist your grace, your charm? And who can resist your father’s farm? Boy, what a set-up! There’s gold in them acres…Dear Katrina, my love, my treasure. Treasure? Ah, that barn’s a gold mine. How I’d love to hit the jackpot. Sweet Katrina, Papa’s only child. Papa? Well, the old goat can’t take it with him, and when he cuts out, that’s where I cut in.” 

Every guy in town wants to get with Katrina, Ichabod included. The only problem is that Brom is interested in Katrina, in fact he is planning on marrying her. Katrina however is enjoying the attention of Ichabod. She likes the fact that he is so different from anyone she’s ever met.

Ichabod is also able to to best Brom in every way, by using his brain over brawn.

However, Ichabod is also a very superstitous person. We saw in his song how he doesn’t like black cats, walking under ladders, salt over the shoulder, etc.

Brom catches on to this and tells a horrific story about the Headless Horseman.

“Brom Bones: [singing] When the ghosts have a midnight jamboree, they break it up with fiendish glee. Ghosts are bad, but the one that’s cursed, is the Headless Horseman; he’s the worst! 
Chorus: [singing] That’s right, he’s a fright on Halloween night! 
Brom Bones: When he goes a-jogging across the land, holding his noggin in his hand, demons take one look and groan, and they hit the road for parts unknown!…I’m telling you, brother, it’s a frightful sight for what goes on Halloween night.” 

Its midnight and Halloween, and after hearing the story, Ichabod is doubly freaked out on his walk home.

Of course on his way home he runs into THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN!

 “Next morning, Ichabod’s hat was found, and close beside it, a shattered pumpkin, but there was no trace of the schoolmaster. It was shortly thereafter that Brom Bones led the fair Katrina to the altar. Now, rumors persisted that Ichabod was still alive, married to a wealthy widow in a distant county. But of course, the settlers refused to believe such nonsense, for they knew the schoolmaster had been spirited away by the Headless Horseman.”

I always thought that the horseman was Brom and not a ghost, but I like how they end it so that you can draw your own conculsion as to what has really happened.

Hope you enjoyed this hair-raising tale. More to come!

Here is a cover page I made for my facebook for my Halloween countdown

To go to the beginning of Horrorfest, go to I Don’t Belong in the World

For the previous post, go to They’re Here