Is She Mrs. X?: So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993)

Woman! Woah-man! Wooaahhhhh-man! We had love, not just sex. Is she Mrs. X? I had to run for my life… Jane, get me off of this crazy thing called love.

I had always heard of this movie, but never had the opportunity to watch it. Every time I tried I would come in the middle or miss pieces. Then one day my friend and I were looking through Hulu and spotted it, deciding to watch it.

**Spoiler Alert**

Charlie Mackenzie (Mike Meyers) is a Scottish poet living in San Francisco. He performs at a coffee shop doing his riffs on love.

One day he stops at a butcher shop, Meats of the World, to pick up some haggis for his family dinner and meets the butcher-Harriet.

When he visits the family, his mother feels it is her duty to let him know of female serial killer, Mrs. X, that she read about in the tabloids. She hopes that Charlie will be careful and not end up he next victim.

Charlie Mackenzie: Hey Mom, I find it interesting that you refer to the Weekly World News as, “The paper.” The paper contains facts.

May Mackenzie: This paper contains facts. And this paper has the eighth highest circulation in the whole wide world. Right? Plenty of facts. “Pregnant man gives birth.” That’s a fact.

Charlie can’t get Harriet out of his mind and goes back to the butcher shop to spends time with her-actually being hired on as an assistant. There he entertains Harriet, they go out and eat, and ultimately spend the whole day together-and night.

The next morning Charlie meets Harriet’s sister who is really odd.

Huh?

They way she talks about her sister Harriet is a bit off.

Rose Michaels: Well… you know Harriet.

Charlie Mackenzie: Well, actually, I don’t.

Rose Michaels: But you did have sex with her.

Charlie Mackenzie: Hello!

Rose Michaels: Let me make you some breakfast.

Charlie Mackenzie: Oh, gee, you know, I’d love to. But you know, I’m really running late, but thanks!

Rose Michaels: What would you say to silver-dollar pancakes, fresh-squeezed orange juice, bacon, and Kona coffee?

Charlie Mackenzie: Well, that sounds great!

Rose Michaels:[Cut to Rose pouring cereal in Charlie’s bowl] Sorry. I didn’t have those other things.

Charlie Mackenzie: No, no, that’s fine. That other stuff will probably kill you… whereas “Froot Loops” are light, and reasonably high in fiber. I care for “Apple Jacks” a great deal.

But while Harriet is fun, charming, and gives Charlie a great time; there is something not quite right about her.

Hmm…

She is evasive, needy, and slightly odd. She also has all kinds of things from all over the country that were given to her by “friends”. These friends being similar to Mrs. Xs husbands.

Hmm…

He tries to do some research into Mrs. X:

Obituary Writer: There’s another one here. Native San Franciscan. Plumber. Elliot, Ralph. Moved to Dallas, disappeared four months ago, body was found in a sewer.

Obituary Employee: Well, guy takes his job too seriously, life goes down the drain. [both laugh]

Charlie Mackenzie: Did they mention anything about his wife?

Obituary Employee: All right, okay. Look, I know that we’re talking about real people here. I’m sorry.

Charlie Mackenzie: No no, I’m serious. Did they mention the wife?

Obituary Employee: Look, I’m sorry you know. You know, I didn’t mean to make a joke about other people’s lives.

Charlie Mackenzie: No no, I’m really serious. Did they mention the wife?

Obituary Employee: You win, you win okay? I’m a bad person!

Obituary Writer: Just take it easy!

Obituary Employee: No, he’s sayin’ I’m insensitive! He’s sayin’ I’m a s***!

Obituary Writer: He’s not sayin’ you’re a s***!

Charlie Mackenzie: [yelling] Did they mention the wife? Did they mention the wife?

Obituary Employee: No! No! They didn’t mention the wife! Ya happy? [speaking to the whole office] YEAH! Oh yes, yeah. I’m insensitive! I’m a very insensitive man! Stop you’re job, look at the insensitive man! That’s what they’re paying you for! [leaves]”

So he then asks his police friend Tony Giardino. Tony tells him that Harriet is not likely to be Mrs. X; but Charlie isn’t convinced. He starts watching Harriet closely on their dates and her behavior is odd and off.

hmm…

He eventually gets so terrified that he breaks up with Harriet, happy to have outlived Mrs. X.

Or is he happy? He misses Harriet and keeps thinking about her.

Hmm…

Was he wrong to break up with her? Then his friend, the police detective Tony, tells him that they caught Mrs. X. It wasn’t Harriet!!! Charlie was wrong! He overreacted! His imagination ran away from him!

He tries to get back with Harriet, but after he dumped her no dice.

Does he give up?

So sweet, right?

Aw!

Everything is going well, so well that Charlie asks Harriet to marry him.

“Charlie Mackenzie: Marry me.

Harriet: No.

Charlie Mackenzie: Please?”

It is weird how Harriet was trying to make them more formal and pushing the relationship forward, but at marriage she balks. After Charlie explains how much he cares and talks to her, Harriet agrees, but then at the wedding acts weird again.

Hmm…

They head off to a romantic honeymoon. All is going well!

Yay!!!

Meanwhile, Tony is working when he finds out that the woman who claimed to be Mrs. X is a compulsive liar!

He tries to get a hold of Charlie, but a storm knocks out the power lines and the message is cut off. Tony heads up to their hotel to try and save them, he ends up commandeering a car from the dad from Beethoven and living out his fantasies of being a TV cop.

So now Charlie is trapped with an ax murderer!

So while they make it seem as if Harriet is an ax murderer, I was convinced the whole movie that it was really Rose?

Huh?

I know, Rose has like only a few minutes in the film but while Harriet is weird-

Rose seemed like:

Yeah, a real psycho. I think I suspected her because of the way she talked about “their” home and how Harriet always leaves for a little while, but then “always comes back.” The way she said “always comes back” made me think she was either obsessed with her sister or afraid of losing her forever-and was killing Harriet’s husbands without her knowing. Yep, I think Rose is:

Meanwhile, Charlie is terrified of Harriet-thinking she is going to kill him.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

But when he gets alone he discovers a “Dear Jane” letter. A letter that appears that it was signed by him! Saying he was leaving her!

What?

To make things even more surprising he finds Rose in his honeymoon suite!

And she has an ax!

AAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now he gets in a game of cat and mouse as he has to run for his life!

In the end they all live happily ever after. Rose gets the help she needs in prison, Harriet knows that she wasn’t dumped and left and that Charlie loves her, and Charlie loves Harriet and knows she won’t kill him.

No facebook cover for this one either. Man the movies I have picked have been hard ones to find a moment to use. Oh well.

Oh, well

To start Horrorfest VI from the beginning, go to One of Our Guests is a Werewolf, I Know It.: The Beast Must Die (1974)

For the previous post, go to The Cruel Giggling Ghoul: Teen Titans Go (2016)

For more serial killers, go to Someone is Killing By Copying Old Murders!: Real Murders

For more female serial killers, go to The Butcher of Burtonsville High: The Death of the Queen Bee, Bones (2010)

For more horror-comedy, go to China is Here Mr. Burton. The Chang Sing, The Wing Kong, They’ve Been Fighting for Centuries: Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

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Something’s Scratching at the Window

The other day I woke up at four in the morning, having fallen asleep while watching TV, with an upset stomach. It turned out to be pre-period cramps.

 

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

As I knew it was going to be impossible to go back to sleep right away, I decided to go to the bathroom and brush my teeth, wash my face, maybe do a mask or scrub, etc.-until the pain passed. While I was in the bathroom I heard a noise that went like this:

Scritch, scritch, scritch, scrith…

It sounded as if something was clawing under the window.

So the window in the bathroom is really old. It is a slat window that has to be opened with a lever, and because of its age it never shuts completely. And the acoustics are really good there as people who are across the yard sound as if they are right next to you.

Ugh.

So at first I wasn’t freaked out. I figured it must be a raccoon or possum or something just digging around in the yard or on a trash can.

Meh.

But then I heard it again and it was louder…and it wouldn’t stop…and it sounded like it was right next to me.

Ahhh!

For a split second my mind went to there is a monster out there:

In fact it made me think of that old “scary” story that everyone told at slumber parties; where the two people are stranded in a car and the boyfriend leaves to go for help. While he is gone the girlfriend continuously hears a scratch, scratch, scratch (or tap, tap, tap) while the boyfriend is gone. In the end, a psycho has been scratching at her car or the boyfriend has been killed and his body is hanging overhead.

I’m sure you’ve heard one of the versions of it.

So yes, I went there but then I bounced back. I was certain it was no big deal and going to scare off whatever animal was making that noise.

The gun is a metaphor. I wasn’t going to shoot any animals.

I was just about to walk out of the bathroom and go check outside when something jumped into the window!!!!!!!!!!

And then I saw clawed fingers poking into the cracks of the window!!!!!!!

And I have to admit:

But then this thing started to meow angrily.

And my brain realized that the clawed fingers were just the clawed paws of my cat. Lack of sleep, cramps, it being early morning, whatever-had made me not realize that the hands I saw were tiny cat paws not monster hands.

Yes, since I had fallen asleep watching TV, I didn’t bring my cat in and I guess she heard me in the bathroom, or saw the light-but somehow figured out I was in there and was trying to get my attention to let her in.

But hey, I will take being trolled by my cat over a real psychopath (or rodent) scratching under my window any day.

For more of my scary adventures, go to A Bump in the Night

For more on cats, go to Cat Lovers All Know This

For more stories from my everyday life, go to Road Rage

If this stokes your appetite for horror, check out Horrorfest, Horrorfest II, Horrorfest  III, Horrorfest IV, & Horrorfest V

Your Cases Have Indeed Been of the Greatest Interest to Me: The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

Day 3) C is for Childhood: Choose a book you used to check out repeatedly when you were a Child.

So there are lots of books I used to read over and over again as a child.

The ones I remember reading the most were The Chronicles of Narnia and the children’s version of The Phantom of the Opera.

But there is another book(s) that I used to read over and over, Sherlock Holmes short stories.

As I have mentioned before, I grew up reading the Great Illustrated Classics series and that introduced me to the character Sherlock Holmes. After I read one children’s’ collection, I read every short story there was about him written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

I even read stories based on him, like the Sherlock Holmes Solo Mysteries, (which was like Choose Your Own Adventure), and I was a giant fan of Basil of Baker Street.

So yeah, I was obsessed.

I thought Sherlock Holmes was so cool and wanted to be like him.

The only thing I didn’t read were the Sherlock Holmes novels, I guess because my library didn’t have those available in children’s form. I actually didn’t read those until I was an adult.

Oh well.

I remember one day we were traveling somewhere and were listening to Sherlock Holmes on tape; and I was the only one in the car who had read the ones being read before hearing them on cassette. It was weird as a child to think I knew something my parents didn’t.

So there are a lot of stories to choose from and of course I don’t have the time to talk bout them all. In fact out of all the stories I remember the most, they are from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, so I choose that collection over any other.

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

So I will only pick three stories: A Scandal in Bohemia, The Man With the Twisted Lip, and The Adventure of the Copper Beeches.

***Spoilers***

A Scandal in Bohemia

So many have probably read this story, seen the Sherlock version (which I hated), or heard of it.

I know this

A Bohemian Prince comes to Sherlock, first in disguise but of course Sherlock sees through that, to ask for his help. He is to be married, but before the engagement had sent letters and a photograph with the beautiful Irene Adler. He has tried to get it back through begging, payment, bribery, theft, etc; but nothing has netted it.

Sherlock does some reconnaissance on her and ends up being the witness at her wedding!

This strange turn of events doesn’t prepare Sherlock for how things will turn out for him.

Sherlock continues on his plan, dressing up as a minister and having Watson create a fuss about fire in order to determine the secret hiding place of the photo. He sees it as she goes to protect it; and thinks the case is finished, preparing to return the next morning before she leaves.

On the way home he is greeted by a young boy, one he does not know but that isn’t very odd, after all he is a known figure. People are always addressing him.

The next day the three men set out to retrieve the painting, and find Irene gone.

She left a note explaining that she thought there was something suspicious about the “minister”, dressed up as a boy to research him, and figured out the plan of Sherlock Holmes. Instead of allowing him to do his plan, she bests him by leaving that night instead of the next day.

Not good

She leaves the picture behind, as married she no longer needs it; forever going down in history as the one who bested the greatest detective, and becoming the woman. The only one that ever beat him.

The Man With the Twisted Lip

A wife is worried about her missing husband and calls upon Sherlock Holmes to help her. One day her husband was at work and she was walking down the street running an errand when she just happened to look up at a building and sees her husband!

What’s going on?

He’s in a room above an opium den! And he is so scared!

She rushes up there as quick as she can but no husband, only a disgusting, deformed, dirty man.

What

She calls the police and as they investigate they discover his clothes in the river, blood in the room, but no body. They believe him to have killed her husband but they can’t figure out what happened to the body. For now he sits in a jail cell, with nothing being able to get him to talk or bath.

Sherlock is puzzled and looks into the history of the man, but there is little to be found. All he can find out is that he moved there and makes good money to care for his family.

Hmmm….

Sherlock believes the husband has been killed, but then a letter turns up in his handwriting with his signet ring. Sherlock is stuck…

Until he goes to the bathroom and solves the case by looking at a bar of soap.

He goes to the jail where they are holding the man and force him to clean up, revealing that he is the husband.

It turned out that he used to be a reporter and went undercover to write a story about beggars. He was a great actor and did so well at doing nothing, he ended up making more money that way than being the reporter.

He continued this lifestyle, hoping to never be found out and was surprised to find his wife; reacting quickly and not thinking of his actions. Sherlock makes him stop the begging as it is against the law, and another case solved.

I’m on FIRE!

Ever since I read that story every time I see people beg, this story comes back to me. He made more money begging than working? It just shocked me and makes me wonder if people today are like that guy in the story.

The Adventures of the Copper Beeches

Violet Hunter goes to Sherlock Holmes for advice about whether or not she should take a position as a governess They are willing to pay her £120, but she has to get her hair cut short. It seems odd as her previous position only paid £48.

Nothing else seems amiss so Violet takes the job, Sherlock telling her to telegram him if they need anything.

After a fortnight (14 days), Sherlock gets a telegram. Things have gotten weirder since she started working at the house. They have her sit in the window wearing an electric blue dress and have her back to the window. After doing this for a while she hides a mirror in her handkerchief and sees a man staring up at her through the window.

The child she is supposed to care for is a psychopath

There is a mastiff that is always hungry and let out at night, keeping Violet from being able to leave in the evening.

She also comes upon a drawer with her her hair in it!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But it turns out to not be her hair but someone elses.

What?

And then there is the mysterious wing that they can’t go in.

Never a good sign.

One day she sneaks in and she a shadow…

It freaks her out so she hurriedly leaves and gets away as soon as she can to post the telegram.

Sherlock arrives with Watson in tow and the two investigate. It appears that the family has been hiding someone away. As Sherlock studies everything, he comes to the conclusion that the family’s daughter is the one they are hiding. They chose Violet because she could pass for the daughter and used her to get rid of the daughter’s fiancé.

They look in the room, but the daughter is missing. The father, Mr. Rucastle, gets angry at them and sets the dog out after him. The dog has been starved more than usual and kills Mr. Rucastle.

Afterwards, they find the daughter, Alice, and her fiancé. It turns out that when Alice came of age she came into money from her mother’s will. The father was trying to get the money, but when the daughter wouldn’t give it she became sick with brain fever.

As thought earlier, he hired Violet to pretend to be Alice and get rid of him. After this experience all go their separate ways, with Violet later becoming a principal of a girls’ school.

I liked this one because it was really creepy. The child is horrid, and the rest so mysterious.

So those are just three out of the many wonderful Sherlock Holmes stories. If you haven’t read them, you should get started immediately. They are sure to wow you at every turn. And if you have read them already, they are always worth another read; no matter how many times you do it!

To start the 30 Day Challenge from the beginning, go to It Was a Pleasure to Burn: Fahrenheit 451

For the previous post, go to Why Everyone Should Read Gone With the Wind

For more Sherlock Holmes, go to Fan-do or Fan-don’t. There is No Fan-try

For more mysteries, go to That’s What We’re Trying to Find out! We’re Trying to Find Out Who Killed Him, and Where, and With What!: Clue (1985)

For more Oscar Wilde quotes, go to When You Least Expect It

Today’s Christmas Carol is Away in a Manger. 

It was first published in 1883, and has stayed a popular carol since. Many attributed it to Martin Luther as being the writer, but that was discredited a long time ago. We don’t know who read it, but I’m sure Arthur Coan Doyle heard it so I thought it would be the perfect pairing with this book.

I love this song, as like the book reviewed, it was a big part of my childhood. It was probably the first Christmas Carol I ever learned and is one I sing every year.

The artist I choose was Bing Crosby, I just can’t get enough of him.

For more Bing Crosby, go to The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas to You)

For more Christmas Carols, go to We Wish You A Merry Christmas

They’re Coming for Me Now…And Then They’ll Come for You: House on Haunted Hill (1959)

The ghosts are moving tonight, restless… hungry…In just a moment I’ll show you the only really haunted house in the world.

I have been trying to review this film since the first Horrorfest, but something always seems to gum up the works. This is one of my all time favorite horror films and my favorite Vincent Price film.

Years ago I was at a yard sale, where I found this film, along with: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956), The Wolf Man (1941), The Stepford Wives (1975), Rebecca (1940), The Phantom of the Opera (1943), North by Northwest (1959), Family Plot (1976), Lifeboat (1944), The Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954), Notorious (1946), and The Night of the Hunter (1955).  

I had never heard of this film, but if it has Vincent Price you know I’m all over it.

Then I watched it and saw it is one of the best horror films ever made, with everything you could want:

So do you dare continue on?

So the film starts off with the scariest opening I have ever seen. All we have is a black screen and screaming from men and women.

Can you imagine hearing that full volume in a darken theater?

I can imagine people were freaking out.

We then are met by Watson Pritchard (Elisha Cook Jr.) who warns us about the house and how we should stay away:

Watson Pritchard:The ghosts are moving tonight, restless… hungry. May I introduce myself? I’m Watson Pritchard. In just a moment I’ll show you the only really haunted house in the world. Since it was built a century ago, seven people, including my brother, have been murdered in it. Since then, I’ve owned the house. I only spent one night then and when they found me in the morning, I… I was almost dead.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We then cut to wealthy businessman Fredrick Loren (Vincent Price). He has rented the House on Haunted Hill for a party,

inviting five people to attend and promising them each $10,000 if they stay the whole night.

As soon as they pull up to the house, strange things begin happening. A chandelier almost kills a guest when it falls,

And another guest gets knocked unconscious,

And it doesn’t stop there. It turns out that all is not happy with the Loren life. Fredrick is angry with his wife as he believes her to be a gold digger and trying to murder him.

Frederick Loren: Do you remember the fun we had when you poisoned me?

Annabelle Loren: [laughs] Something you ate, the doctor said.

Frederick Loren: Yes, arsenic on the rocks…[grabs Annabelle] Annabelle, you’d do it again if you thought you’d get away with it, wouldn’t you?

But Annabelle (Carole Ohmart) says that he is a jealous, crazy psychopath who has already killed three wives and is going to add her to his dead list.

Annabelle Loren: My husband is sometimes insane with jealousy. Nothing matters to him!

Lance Schroeder: Would he hurt you?

Annabelle Loren: He would kill me if he could…You know, of course, that I’m his fourth wife. The first simply disappeared; the other two died…All his doctors said heart attacks. Two girls in their 20s. Lance… I don’t want to join them.

Who is telling the truth? Who is lying? And which is a killer?

We are given the history of the house with its gruesome murders, from beheadings to being thrown in acid.

Ahhh!

They are locked in with no way out, one guest is nearly strangled to death, one having a nervous breakdown, and one murdered!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Which one is the killer? Or is it a ghost?

Watch it yourself to find out. I will not ruin the ending of this masterpiece.

To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to That’s What We’re Trying to Find out! We’re Trying to Find Out Who Killed Him, and Where, and With What!: Clue (1985)

For more Vincent Price, go to No Mere Mortal Can Resist the Evil of the Thriller: Thriller (1983)

For more ghosts, go to Night on Bald Mountain: Fantasia (1940)

So everyone:

By the time this posts, I know Horrorfest won’t be finished, so you know what I’ll be doing tonight; but whatever you do I hope you have fun, get candy, and stay safe!

Remember:

Have You Checked the Children: When a Stranger Calls (1979)

So I was originally going to post this yesterday, but when I saw that the film was rereleased in theaters on October 17, 1980. Even though that isn’t the anniversary of the original day of its release, October 26th, I thought that since it was an anniversary of one of its release and just a day later: I just couldn’t help but post it today. Happy 36th!

So of course growing up in the 2000s, my first interaction with the film When a Stranger Calls was the remake. I have never seen the original film, and since I needed a choice from the ’70s, I thought why not finally check this one out.

So the poster is a little bland I think. I mean I would have done something along the lines of this:

But oh well.

So the film starts off with creepy music and just a blank screen with nondescript text. I don’t know about others but when films do this, it actually kind of hypes up the horror/creepiness because you have no real clue what will be coming next.

So we have a teenage girl walking down a dark street with her books. She arrives at the house she to baby-sit and everything seems fine. The parents are ready to go out, possibly staying out a bit later if they decide to go to a movie. The children are asleep upstairs

Now what is interesting is so far the plot of the remake actually mimics this one. I mean they begin a little different with giving her a reason as to no cell phone calling, as the remake is modern, but the way the parents act and the dialogue is exact.

Good job screenwriters.

With the kids sick, Jill has the house to herself to do whatever she wants. Wow, what a pretty sweet gig.

Alright!

Or is it?

Wait…

Little does she know what the night will hold.

So Jill is relaxing, sitting on the couch and talking to her friend about Bobby, a guy they both are crazy about. It is weird seeing Carol Kane play a teenager she has such an adult voice. Her friend too. They sound as if they are in their twenties.

She is defintely close to 30

So the phone rings nothing on the line.

Phone rings again but this time Jill hears a voice

“Mysterious Stranger: Have you checked the children?”

Jill thinks it is just a prank and doesn’t even bother to look upstairs at the kids. In fact, she hasn’t looked at the kids at all since she came. I know she wasn’t supposed to disturb them as they are sick, but shouldn’t she check to see if they are alright?

The call comes again

“Mysterious Stranger: Have you checked the children?”.

Then she hears a sound in the other room. Creepy music rising.

Jill is a little freaked, and heads down the hall to look around. The kitchen light off, nothing is there. She hears something:

Just ice machine. Whew. And don’t say that it was lame because some ice machines are weird. My old fridge sounded like an alien spaceship landing.

So the phone rings again

“Mysterious Stranger: Have you checked the children?”

This is super creepy to hear again and again. If it were me I would have gone upstairs. Actually truthfully I never would have been in a situation like this. It was because of films like these my parents always had to have the kids come to our house when I would watch them.

But instead of checking on the kids, Jill goes to pour herself a drink. Bad baby-sitter bad.  Bad idea.

Phone rings again….is it him?

She slowly reaches for phone, and the music starts. Nothing is on the line this time. Even creepier.

Jill calls the parents to see if it was maybe them, but they aren’t at the restaurant. Left 40 mins ago.

So she calls the police and gets a Sergeant Sacker. Jill tells him about the phone calls that she’s been receiving every 15 mins.  But because there are no threats or obscene language the police don’t think it a big deal, just a friend or random weirdo.

So we get great shots of the house and around Jill. The camera is always in the front or behind but never exactly her height, and mostly far away, as if we are the man watching her.

The phone rings again.

“Mysterious Stranger: Why haven’t you checked the children.”

Jill looks out the window

But outside only pitch black darkness.  Now I have never liked my windows open or blinds up. I just don’t like the idea/feeling someone could be watching me. After films like this and real life events of people watching and attacking I feel even more that  it makes a lot of sense to keep them closed.

After watching that scene I just creeped myself out, and had to check all my doors and make sure my phone was beside me.

I’m ready for anything

Jill also freaks out and tries to secure the house.

I can’t believe she had the door unlocked the whole time. Then again it is the ’70s.

 So she’s finally going upstairs to check on the children, but then gets another call.WHAT’S UPSTAIRS???? DID HE KILL THE KIDS??? WILL HE KILL HER TOOO??????

She lets the phone just ring and ring this time.  Grabs a cane, good job. You should carry something just in in case. Kudos for you!!!

But she never checked on the children.

…I just thought of something. What if they are the dead kids and babysitter from the beginning of the remake? Would they do that? Reveal the end of the old in the new? Well I guess it isn’t really a reveal as you should have watched it before the new one.

But still, this is driving me crazy!!!

What happened to the kids!!! Are they alive!!!

Jill calls the police again. She tells him tht he is watching him, but the police don’t really believe her as she didn’t see him and the house is locked up. The police tell her that if he calls again they will try and trace the call. She gives out the number and address. But the problem is that she will have to keep him on the phone for 1 min.

Jill sits waiting, a fireplace poker now in her hands and vigilant. BUT SHE NEVER CHECKED THE CHILDREN!!! They are dead I just know it….!!!!!!

The phone rings…

Nothing and then it is him

“Jill Johnson: Can you see me.

Mysterious Stranger: Yes.

Jill Johnson: I turned the lights down, I can turn them up if you like.

Mysterious Stranger: No, don’t.

Jill Johnson: You really scared me, if that’s what you wanted. Is that what you wanted?

Mysterious Stranger: No.

Jill Johnson: What do you want?

Mysterious Stranger: Your blood all over me.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I SHOULD HAVE WTCHED THIS DURING THE DAY WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

This film is super creepy. I need a weapon near me too. In fact this guy is super creepier than the new one because he is calm the whole time as he talks to her.

Phone call again, the sergeant, traced the call coming from inside the house You need to get out. But where is he? They show scenes of every part of the house she has been in and he isn’t thereeree!!!

Jill starts to open the front door, the door upstairs open and we see a shadow as he is coming after her!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We then zoom in on a face!!!!!!!!!!! IS IT HIM??????????????? AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It turns out that it is the police detective. This was what the beginning of the remake is based on. So the children are dead, and we see them carried out in black bags. The damage was so horrendous that the coroner was surprised the weapon was the killer’s bare hands. They caught him in time, so the babysitter is fine, but how fine?

But we are only at the 22 min mark?!! What else is coming aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh So far I think this is the scariest film I have reviewed this year just based on that opening scene alone!

So now it is seven years later, and I have no clue what is coming next? Is he going to track her down and try to kill her? Try to finish the job? Hmmmm…..

So the police detective has quit the force and become a private investigator. He has been asked by the father of the murdered children to hunt down Curt, as he has recently escaped from the insane asylum he was in.

“Dr. Mandrakis: Man murders two children in cold blood. Jury declares him insane. He is sent to a state institutional facility where the security isn’t perfect and escapes.”

The detective is on the case to hunt dow Curt no matter what. He heads to the institution and goes to speak to his doctor to find more info. Interesting how in a lot of ways this and Halloween are extremely similar.

We are now in a bar and see a man, is he Curt? Man tries to give a light to a lady but she ain’t having it. He’s british, so he must be Curt, and is trying to pick her up but she is a big no.

After that first part of the film which was so intense and just chilling, this section is really boring.

Why should I care. Its like they made the adrenaline pump so much and now we have this bleh stuff it just feels bad.

We see a ’70s party, with the PI there. He speaks to a police officer from the force who agrees to help him.

Now you all know how much I don’t like remakes, but I have to admit the 2004 version, while their killer wasn’t as creepy as this guy, really knew how to give you what you wanted.  They kept it focused on what was scary and played it up even more having the girl isolated with the house so far away and no car.

Guy follows girl from bar, outside her door, phone rings and she answers. He gets inside she kicks him out end scene.

Truth be told I don’t

PI still investigating. You know I would find this a lot More interesting if they had flipped the film, had the babysitter attack at the end and the search at the beginning. I guess how they did it in the remake.

So the PI tracks Kurt down to the lady’ house and wants to talk to her. She doesn’t want to talk to him, but does. PI gruff and rude.

Seriously!

Shows pic of man blah blah not interested skip, skip skip

Lady worried thinks Curt maybe following her, PI waits outside, but Curt is already indoors. Turns out he was hiding in her closet. She is making tea and the PI waits outside. When the lady goes to the closet Curt is not there.

Okay getting creepy agin. He’s not hiding behind the closet door either. Curt doesn’t kill her though, wants her to be his friend. She screams, he flees, PI chases him but doesn’t catch him. Bleh Skip. Curt goes to bathroom, naked and looks at himself and cries. Whatever. SKIP. Now at the YMCA and the cop is looking for him, Fast forward The two chase, run fight, chase, run, PI lost him again. Curt gives a long soliloquy, boring.

Next scene we are in a nice neighborhood, with cute kids running about. It turns out they are Jill’s kids. The phone rings….

IS IT HIM????!!!!!

No just her husband Steve on the phone. He’s going to take her out to dinner so Jill needs to get ready and find a baby-sitter. Two kids; one boy and girl just like the ones she lost when sitting.

Jill outs the to sleep. Sharon coming to baby sit. They recreate the scene from the beginning; mom and dad are heading out and the sitter staying. So similar, I mean even the house looks similar just reversed. All say good-bye.

You know I’m surprised the PI never went to here. I mean doesn’t he think the guy might go after her?

So Jill and Steve’s dinner are interrupted by a phone call. Jill goes to answer. OMG it is HIM!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Mysterious Stranger: Have you checked the children?”

He’s back, he’s on the phone. He’s after her kids!!!

Husband calls baby-sitter and they ask her to check on the kids. The police have been called and they tell them the story. They call the baby-sitter again, but the LINE IS DEAD!!!!!!!!!

They drive home with the police and everything is fine. But is it really? Or is he hiding in the house?

OMG what is going to happen next??? Is he going to kill them???

Steve pulls out gun to protect them while they sleep. Now I would not go to sleep or stay there. They are crazy I would check into a motel asap.

Back at the police station they are talking about the call. Was it him or just a copycat. The police friend  calls the PI to check it out, and makes sure there was a stakeout.

 Jill can’t sleep and goes downstairs to the kitchen, the lights go out.

Never a good sign.

IT IS HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PI keeps calling, but gets the busy signal. Jill checks on the kids again. She sees the boy with ice cream in hand, not even melted. Where did you get it?!!!!!! It wasn’t there earlier. In fact it is the same one she had that night. OMG IS HER HUSBAND DEAD!!!!!!??????

Is he  in the closet??? She approaches NOOOOOO Don’t open without a weapon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Nothing is there but clothes. The PI only gets dial tone. Hurry the line was CUT!!!

huHURRYRRRRRRRYRYRYRYRRY OVERER THERE AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

Where is he??? Where???

Jill decides to settle in bed, but can’t go to sleep. She picks up the phone but discovers that it is DEAD just like she will be!!!!!!!!!

Take the gun!!!! Grab it!!!

She hears his voice where is he? Or is it in her head??? She tries to wake Steven in bed, but not her husband, Curt.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He attacks her, but is shot. Who shot him???

The PI. OH No Where is Steven? Is he dead???? No just knocked out in the closet.

OH MY GOSH!!! That was way scarier than I thought it would be. That end image of his eyes over the house, always watching ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

An amazingly creepy film. I mean just skip the middle and this is phenomenal. It lingered in my mind and continued to scare me when it was over.

So after the film I checked that question about Carol Kane’s age.  She was 27. I thought so, her voice was waaaaay tooo deep.

So it turned out that this director made the short film The Sitter, which was pretty much the first 20 mins of this film. After Halloween came out in 1978, the director decided to make a full length film based on what The Sitter was about.. So I was right. That middle section was so close to Halloween, because of Halloween.

To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to No Mere Mortal Can Resist the Evil of the Thriller: Thriller (1983)

For more on When a Stranger Calls, go to It’s Coming From Inside the House: When A Stranger Calls (2006)

For more psychos, go to The Butcher of Burtonsville High: The Death of the Queen Bee, Bones (2010)

For more films with anonymous phone calls, go to There are Thirteen Chairs at the Table…And That’s Unlucky: Mystery of the 13th Guest (1943)

For more films with phone harassment, go to All I Know About Trilogies is That in the Third One, All Bets are Off: Scream 3 (2000)

For more slasher films, go to We All Go a Little Mad Sometimes: Psycho (1960)

The Butcher of Burtonsville High: The Death of the Queen Bee, Bones (2010)

“They say a spirit [the Butcher of Burtonsville High] lives in these woods…He takes over a person and makes him kill.”

This episode is from the fifth season. Booth as recovered from his brain surgery and has feelings for Dr. Brennan He’s not sure if they are real, or because of the story Bones wrote and was reading to him while he was in a coma.

Booth admitted his feelings for Dr. Brennan after they recounted the story of when they first met. But Dr. Brennan didn’t reciprocate.

Angela has thrown off her vows of celibacy, dating Wendall (making Dr. Jack Hodgins jealous) and having a pregnancy scare.

So let’s move on to the review!

The episode starts out with two girls going to the make out spot. They like the Katy Perry song I Kissed a Girl and decide to see if it is accurate. As they reach in for the smooch, a raccoon with a skull stmes running towards sending the skull right at them.

Leaving maggots all over her face!

Dr. Brennan and Booth get called in to check out the body.

Deputy Conway is in shock when she sees Booth. (I’m pretty sure I’d be the same way if I met David Boreanaz.

 It turns out that Dr. Brennan actually grew up in the area and went to the local high school. She recognizes Officer Conway right away.

Officer Becky Conway: Have I arrested you before, hon?

Dr. Temperance ‘Bones’ Brennan: No. You were my lab partner in Chemistry at Burtonsville High.

Officer Becky Conway: Are you absolutely sure? I have an excellent memory.

Dr. Temperance ‘Bones’ Brennan: Positive. Though you are thinner now, which is better for you cardiovascular system. In High School, you were quite overweight, hence the derision from the other students.

Officer Becky Conway: Yeah. I remember you now. The creepy girl.

When they find the rest of the body it brings to mind the town’s urban legend about “the Butcher.”

Officer Becky Conway: “They say a spirit lives in these woods…He takes over a person and makes him kill.”

The legend states that the butcher murders his victims and then barbecues and eats their ribs.

Ew!

It was just a story until a girl in their grade was murdered the same way, and found missing ribs.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Now this first victim Sarah Tidwyler was a member of the class of 94?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: And the second victim was killed just before the reunion of the same class that doesn’t sound like a coincidence to me. Cops here agreed to keep everything quiet until we ID the victim and catalog the evidence.

So that’s it, Dr. Brennan and Booth are going undercover. Booth will be Dr. Brennan ‘s husband.

Alright, undercover!

Meanwhile, back at the lab Hodgins lets slip to Wendell that Angela thought she was pregnant. It turned out that Angela never told Wendell anything.

Back in Burtonsville, Dr. Brennan can’t wait to introduce Booth to her only friend in high school, the janitor Ray Buxley. He used to find her creatures for her to dissect, talk to her about death, etc. essentially be creepy.

He’s creepin’ in your windows. He’s starin’ at your people.

Booth meets Julie, super popular back in the day, the organizer of the whole reunion; along with Brad, the once golden boy prom king of Burtonsville and married to the former head cheerleader, Evelyn Simms.

They then go see the janitor in his creepy basement/closet

Never a good sign.

and he is played by Robert England.

Who?

Come on, you know. This Robert England:

And just as creepy as him:

Buxley was suspected in the earlier murder, and Booth seems him still as the number one suspect, even though Dr. Brennan doesn’t think there is anything strange about him.

Back at the lab Angela and Wendall meet up to talk about everything and break up like we all know they would. Come on, Angela and Hodgins are MEANT to be.

But enough of that, it is time to get down to forensic business. They are going to try and work on the face when Angela mentions in a video chat with Dr. Brennan that the victim once had a broken jaw. That creates a lightbulb moment for Dr. Brennan and she knows who the victim is.

Dr. Temperance ‘Bones’ Brennan: 33. She was 33.

Angela Montenegro: Well, how do you know that?

Dr. Temperance ‘Bones’ Brennan: Because I’m the one who broke her jaw… with a tennis racket. This is one of my classmates… Evelyn Simms.

WOW

Dr. Lance “Sweets” Sweets believes it to be someone at the reunion, after all emotions and resentments can run high at those. They try looking to see if there is anything else and discover that Brad was dating Sarah at the time she was murdered, and married to the recent victim. Very interesting…

The lab has discovered that the weapon was a metal blade, but what is interesting was how uniform the cuts were and the pattern, not to mention the distinct size and angle of the blade. The two have their work cut out for them as it appears the reunion is just hopping with all types of weapons in every blade size.

WOW

They send pics of everything, and the only thing that comes close would be an ice pick. They ask about Carrie, but Officer Conway is sure that the two were fine. After all, Evelyn gave her the city council contract for her catering business. But then Julie interrupts and reveals that Evelyn and Carrie the caterer were arguing and Evelyn took everything away. Carrie lost her whole business and was ANGRY.

It is so stupid! It makes no sense!!!!

That’s a pretty powerful motive, wouldn’t you say?

They question her but it turns out to be nothing. She was in Florida with her parents, the people she is living with as she lost everything.

Not the right one.

They get a call from Hodgins and al the material found on the body go with stuff you would find in shop class. There they discover Andy making a name plate out of wood for Dr. Brennan, and he also has one there for Evelyn.

He also was interested in Sarah and believes that all women are interested in him. I know its not him; he’s just obsessive and insane.

They check around the room and discover bone dust. Evelyn was definitely dismembered in that room.

Gross

Everything seems to be pointing to Brad; mechanic who knows his way around tools, has a big insurance policy on her, and was with both victims.

That night they are dancing away at the reunion while waiting for some confirmation on information from the lab. Dr. Brennan is excited beyond words:

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, you’re tearing up.

Dr. Temperance ‘Bones’ Brennan: This is the prom I never got to go to.

Instead of balloons, stars are released from the ceiling. Everything is beautiful and magical…but then Dr. Brennan notices something…those stars are a perfect match for the angle of the murder weapon.

They snap a pic and send it back to the lab. It is a perfect match! They have found the murder weapon, now all is left is to catch the murderer.

Hmm…

Is it Mr. Buxley?

Dr. Brennan goes over to question Buxley about who made the stars. He has figured out that Dr. Brennan isn’t there for the reunion, but is investigating. He tells her that Julie was the one who did it, after all she made every decoration in there.

Ray Buxley: Don’t surprise me, though. One look at her and you can tell she’s off. Them smiley ones, they always give me the willies.

They arrest her and it turns out she is a regular psycho. She and Evelyn made a pact in high school to kill Sarah and share Brad. When Evelyn wouldn’t give him up, she killed her.

A great thriller episode with some fun parodies. You should definitely check it out.

To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to Those Aren’t Men They Are the Living Dead: White Zombie (1932)

For more on Bones, go to You’re Sad So I’m Making This Day Extra Special: The Bikini in the Soup, Bones (2011)

For more creepy janitors, go to Tuesday the 17th: Psych (2009)

For more female serial killers, go to A Matter of Loaf and Death: Wallace and Gromit (2008)

For more David Boreanaz, go to She’s Been Totally Different…Like Stepford: Ted, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997)

For more Robert England, go to Whatever You Do Don’t Fall Asleep: A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Horrorfest V: New Blood

So it is once again time for Horrorfest.

So this year marks my fifth time doing Horrorfest. Since it is such a huge marker I wanted to do something different.

Do tell…

The past four years I have started off Horrorfest with a classic Horror film, working from the 1960s, Carnival of Souls, to the 1930s, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I thought about doing something from the 1920s, or 70s, or starting back in the 1960s; but none of those seemed right.

I want this year’s Horrorfest to be different. Unexpected. Unusual.

But full of:

So what will we cover?

Hmm…

Let’s see we have Alfred Hitchcock, ghosts, kids with powers beyond their control, murderers, psychopaths, radioactive creatures, robots, serial killers, and more.

Check back daily to find out more.

To start Horrorfest I from the beginning, go to I Don’t Belong in the World: Carnival of Souls (1962)

To start Horrorfest II from the beginning, go to There Are Many Strange Legends in the Amazon: The Creature From The Black Lagoon (1954)

To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart: The Wolf Man (1941)

To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

Gun Control

Here is a post explaining how I feel most of the time.

Seriously, people be stupid.

Sometimes I just don’t want to even deal. I mean:

It’s like don’t come near me.

For more go to, Mere Stupidity

 

Fantom of the Opera

Yep, here we go with another one of my fangirl lists. Read it and enjoy! 🙂 After all one of a fangirls favorite thing to do is share their loves with others.

Beach Party Series

I grew up watching these Beach Party films when I was a kid. My sister and I used to try and copy the dances and learn how to move just like them! These films were silly and loads of fun, the perfect films to watch for a good time. It starred Frankie Avalon as “Frankie” surfer and singer staying at the beach for a good time. His girlfriend Dolores aka Dee Dee, was played by Annette Funicello, came along with all the friends. They would hang out and have fun, getting into a fight and breaking up, but always reuniting at the end. There was also Bonehead (called Deadhead in the first film) who was kinda dumb and never understanding that the ladies wanted him. The group also always ran into a motorcycle gang called “The Ratz” or “The Rat Pack” that were lead by Eric Von Zipper. These were also musicals and had amazing songs + dancing.

In Beach Party, Frankie, Annette, and the gang are hanging out at the beach. Anthropologist, Dr. Robert Orville Sutwell, played by Robert Cummings, is studying the sex lives of Southern California surfing teens. He saves Dolores from Eric Von Zipper, paralyzing him with an “African” Vulcan touch, and Dolores develops a crush on him. This makes Frankie jealous, who starts flirting with a Hungarian waitress. Dr. Sutwell’s assistant Marianne has been in love with him for a long time and tries hard to win him over. The whole crew sing, dance, and have a groovy time. Also keep your eyes peeled for a cameo by Vincent Price.

In Muscle Beach Party, the sequel, the gang is back only to discover their beach is getting taken over by body builders? Will they be able to get rid of them and get their spot back? Also, an Italian contessa is after Frankie, and he seems to be enjoying it. Is this the end for Frankie & Dee Dee?

In Bikini Beach, the teens are back on the beach only to face a new threat! Millionaire Harvey Huntington Honeywagon III is going to try to turn it into senior citizens. He also thinks that the teens are no better than animals. Frankie and Dee Dee also face a threat to their relationship, when British rocker “The Potato Bug”, Peter Royce Bailey (played by Frankie Avalon and a parody of the British rockers coming to America) is interested in Dee Dee and she seems to like him back.

Pajama Party was a bit different from the other films in the series. Frankie Avalon wanted more money and the studio replaced him with Tommy Kirk. In this Annette plays “Connie”, once girlfriend to Big Lunk {Deadhead in the other films} but realizes that his lack of brains and romance means it is time to move on. She meets Gogo, Tommy Kirk, who unbeknowest to her is actually a teenage martian preparing an invasion to Earth. Aunt Wendy (Elsa Lancaster) is an eccentric and rich woman, aunt to Big Lunk and always opening her house to teens. Her neighbor, J. Sinister Hulk; and his minions, Chief Rotten Eagle and Swedish Helga, are trying to con her out of her cash.

In Beach Blanket Bingo, Frankie and Dee Dee are back. In this they are at the beach and run into the singer Sugar Kane skydiving. Frankie saves her life when she falls into the ocean and starts falling for her charm. In reality this isn’t Sugar Kane, but her stunt double Bonnie. Bonnie is upset that her boyfriend Steve isn’t more interested and uses Frankie to up his jealousy. The Ratz are back and Eric Von Zipper falls for Sugar wanting her as his own. Also Deadhead falls for a mermaid. Another zany summer at the beach!

So when Teen Beach Movie came out by Disney, I had to watch it. I loved it as it was the perfect homage to the series I grew up with.

For more on Beach Films, go to Friday Night Fun

Brotherly Love

Do any of you know the Lawrence Brothers?

What a group of good-looking men. I was such huge fans of them all, following their careers very closely. I had a super huge crush on all three of them growing up. My love of Lawrence Brothers first started with their TV show, Brotherly Love

Brotherly Love took place in Philidelphia, “the city of brotherly love”, and follows the trials of a blended family. This series starred the Lawrence brothers, but only lasted two seasons, I’m unsure as to why. I remember it being awesome!

Anyways, Joe Roman (Joey Lawrence) parents are divorced and he moves away with his mom. His dad remarries a woman, Claire, and they have two children; Matt (Matthew Lawrence) and Andy (Andrew Lawrence). Their dad is a race car driver and owns a garage. When he dies in an accident while racing, Joe returns home to take over the garage. A now 20-year old Joe tries to work with the family, being a father figure for Matt and Andy. He is cocky and arrogant, but an all around good person.

Matt is 15, and a bit of a nerd. He is a germophobe and a neat freak and has trouble with girls. Andy is mischeveuos and a cute little kid.

The series is rounded out by Lloyd, ex-coast guard and fellow mechanic, and Louise, female mechanic and ultimately the love of Joey.

This series was adorable and fun. I miss it. 😦

The Office

Remember when this TV show came out? At first I didn’t watch it as I didn’t understand what it was about. A bunch of people working in an office that produces paper? Sounds boring to me. BUT, I had a friend who absolutely loved it. He wouldn’t stop talking about it so I decided to check it out, and loved it too. It is absolutely hilarious.

Michael Scott is the head of that division, and played by Steve Carroll. He is so silly. I just love how much he hates Toby, this guy that works with him.

Then there was Dwight, the brownnoser who was always sucking up to Michael and trying to control everyone else. He was so strange and hilarious.

And the handsome, prankster, Jim played by the handsome John Krasinski

One great show.

Once Upon a Time

Now I know how obssesed everyone is about this show, but I only loved the first season. The second season opening moved really slow and I had a difficult time finding a way to watch it online (as I don’t have cable or netflix). Oh, well. The first season was amazing, and I had to watch every single episode asap.

So the plot of Once Upon a Time, is that all the fairytales by the Brothers Grimm are all connected and exist in a parallel universe. Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin) and Prince Charming have sent their child Emma, to our world in order to save her from the Evil Queen. Emma was raised as Emma Swan in foster care.

On her 28th birthday, Emma arrives home to find a little boy named Henry. He tells her that he is the son she gave up ten years ago, and according to his book of fairy tales, Emma is the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming and the only one who could save the people of his hometown in Storybrooke, Maine.

She returns him to Stoneybrooke and stays in the town becoming sheriff. Her appearance causes the town clock to strike, which it had never done before, fulfilling a prophesy that on Emma’s 28th birthday she will begin the final battle, and return the fairy tale characters memories. These memories had been wiped by the Evil Queen, known as Regina Mills in the “real world”, the mayor and adoptive mother of Henry. Yeah things get complicated really fast!

I loved the story as it was written extremely well. Ginnifer Goodwin is perfect as Snow White as she is just so adorable.

Rumplestilskin was absolutely perfect and one of my favorite characters as well. I espechially loved the Belle and Beast storyline, with Rumplestilskin being the beast.

And let’s not forget Sebastian Stan as the Mad Hatter. Oh, that storyline was just heartbreaking.

Whether the rest are as good, I can’t say, but that first season was an absolute winner!

For more Once Upon a Time, go to I Left My Car in San Francisco

The Phantom of the Opera

I love this book so much that words fail to express how I feel.

It all started one day at the library. I was about six years old and complaining to my mother that I couldn’t find any books to read. Nothing just felt right. You know what I mean, when a book synopsis just connects to you, and you know you need to take it home to read?

So my mother eager to get home, pulls a book off the shelf and suggests that I read it. Instead of paying attention to whatever novel she had in her hand, I saw the one behind it. It was The Phantom of the Opera; a slender, abriged, children’s version.

It became my new favorite book and I would check it out all the time, completely annoying my mother.

Later on I read the original, whole  version; which I also love. It is written so well, if you haven’t read it yet I highly recommend it.

So the story is written as a history/biography of the “ghost of the opera house.” It recounts the story of poor Erik. Born deformed, sent to live with gypsies, becoming an architect; but never finding love or support. He finds a young girl who he trains to be a singer, only to find her love false, therefore evoking in some very bad decisions. But he’s not evil, just misunderstood.

At least that’s my take on it.

I just connected with this poor man. He was bullied and betrayed because he was disfigured. No one paid attention to his genius in building and composing. He was living a life alone in isolation. I wanted to go underground with him.

I would have gone off with him and loved him unlike Christine Daaé, she’s a total jerk and loser.

I also really, really love the 1925 film.

The film was not only horrtastic, but simply, and honestly amazing! It also stayed very close to the book, making only a few changes, and doing a much better job than some other versions (the 1943 one, so bad 😦 ). In fact this year marks it’s 90th anniversary!

Not to mention the amazing make up job that Lon Chaney did that just creeped you out. Absolutely amazing!

And the fabulous masquerade scene that is one of the first color shots in the history of film.

Erik: [at the Bal Masque as “The Red Death”] Beneath your dancing feet are the tombs of tortured men! Thus does The Red Death rebuke your merriment!

Now I know that silent film isn’t for everyone, but I suggest that you check out my review, Feast Your Eyes on My Accursed Ugliness for yourself.

Now I have mixed feelings about the 2004 film starring Gerard Butler. I won’t go too into it as I plan to review it for Horrorfest IV. I did love Gerard Butler and his singing.

But I didn’t like the way they tried to make it that Christine saw him as a father figure. My biggest issue however was the way he looked. Only half his face was disfigured! Why couldn’t Christine just sit on one side of him? I mean otherwise the Phantom was a really attractive guy.

Anyways, however he is shown I love Erik, the Phantom. I defintely would have picked him over stinky Raoul.

I’m writing a series of posts on the book that will be coming in the future. If you love anything Phantom, follow me and keep your eyes peeled.

For more on The Phantom of the Opera, go to How I Differ From Others

 

So that’s it for this installment. There will be plenty more next week.

For the previous post, go to Old Fandoms and New Fancies

Stay tuned for part 14

In other news, this post brings us to 500! In about 6 months, I’ve written 100 posts! Wow!

For post 400, go to The After Party

For post 300, go to That’s What You Get

What’s Your Favorite Scary Movie?: Scream (1996)

So this Horrorfest, I am going to be doing something a little different. We are going to have “Screamtastic Saturdays”. Every Saturday in October going to be on a different Scream movie. So let’s kick it off with:

What’s your favorite scary movie?

*Spolier Alert*

So I really loved this movie. I have to say that Wes Craven as one of the horror kings totally tanked on Nightmare on Elm Street. This was by far, much better. One of the coolest things about this film is that it is a parody of horror films, while still being its own horror film.

So the beginning starts off with Drew Barrymore cooking popcorn and preparing for a fun night in watching scary movies with her boyfriend. Just like When A Stranger Calls, she receives a strange phone call and is at first into it, thinking it is just a joke.

 

However, it slowly turns as the caller threatens Casey that he is going to kill her and her boyfriend.

But she has a chance at being saved, all she has to do is answer who was the killer in Friday the 13th.

“Phone Voice: Name the killer in Friday the 13th.

Casey: Jason! Jason! Jason!

Phone Voice: I’m sorry. That’s the wrong answer!

Casey: No, it’s not. No it’s not. It was Jason.

Phone Voice: Afraid not. No way.

Casey: Listen, it was Jason! I saw that movie 20 g******* times!

Phone Voice: Then you should know that Jason’s mother, Mrs. Voorhees was the original killer. Jason didn’t show up until the sequel. I’m afraid that was a wrong answer.

Casey: [Weeping] You tricked me.

Phone Voice: Lucky for you there’s a bonus round, but poor Steve… I’m afraid he’s OUT!”

So Steve is murdered and Casey runs throughout the house trying to get away from the killer. Of which she doesn’t make it out and finds herself victim #1.

And thus the body count begins…

So the killing of Drew Barrymore holds two significant things. One, she was one the most famous actress in the film, and was killed first. This was supposed to be a homage to Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho (1960), in which the most famous actress of the film, Janet Leigh, was only in the movie for a short while before she was killed. This was also supposed to be a parody of Craven’s film Nightmare on Elm Street, when the first character we meet, Tina (played by Amanda Wyss),is killed. Craven also had his character Casey wear white just like Tina in Nightmare on Elm Street.

The next day, the town Woodsboro is just ravanged by reporters who are eager to find out more about this murder, especially since it occurred almost exactly a year after their little town experienced a murder just as gruesome. The murder of Maureen Prescott by Cotton Weary.

Meanwhile, Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) is trying to cope with everything that is going on.

She is having a really hard time with the anniversary of her mother’s death. When she hears about the murders and sees the reporters it brings the mess of the past year back to her. The memories just come flooding back.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

One of her other big issues is her boyfriend Billy Loomis.

 

Okay, I just have to go off on a tangent here: Billy is sooooooooooooo creepy looking. When I first saw this I was like he is toooootally the killer. I mean LOOK AT HIM! He has killer written alllll over him. Those eyes, they are super frigtening. And the way he talks? He tells Sidney that he was watching Silence of the Lambs and that made him think of her and want to come over and get funky. What a freak!

(BTW it is another Psycho reference. Billy Loomis is a homage to Sam Loomis, Marion Crane’s boyfriend in Psycho; and Dr. Sam Loomis in Halloween.)

Anyways, so the two have been having issues since Sidney’s mom died. She was so traumatized by the event that she has isolated herself and found it hard to let anyone in again. Her best friend Tatum is cool with it as she understands she needs time to grieve, but Billy has been having a hard time backtracking from third base to the benches. Ladies, let me just say that if any guy ever tries to pressure into having sex when you aren’t ready, junk punch him and run away. You don’t need that loser in your life.

That day her father has to go out of town, leaving Sidney all alone in a big house.

Yep, gonna make When a Stranger Calls  references all night.

She makes plans to meet up with Tatum and stay at her place, but falls asleep. Tatum is late picking her up as her cheerleading practice went way over. While Sidney is waiting she gets a phone call from the killer who starts harassing her. And she stupidly calls throughout the house trying to find him.

“Sidney Prescott: Can you see me right now?  Ah, okay. [puts a finger in her nose] What am I doing? Huh? Huh? What am I doing? Hello? [takes finger out] Nice try, Randy. Tell Tatum to hurry up, okay? Bye now.

Ghostface: IF YOU HANG UP ON ME, YOU’LL DIE JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER! Do you want to die, Sidney? Your mother sure didn’t.

Sidney Prescott: F*** you, you cretin!”

Soon the killer comes in her house and she has to run away from him and try to get the police there. Billy shows up, climbing through her window. Sidney sees that he has a cellphone and freaks out, having the police cart him away.

So there are a couple places that were filmed in Santa Rosa, CA. One was the bathroom scene in which Sidney is attacked, the other is Tatum’s house which is right across the street from the house used in Pollyanna (1960). It is also across the street from the house used in Alfred Hitchcock’s Shadow of a Doubt (1943). The house in the opening scene was next door to the house used in Cujo (1983).

Sidney spends the night at Tatum’s house and the next day is completely crazy. Billy was released as they had nothing to hold him. And they still are unable to find her father as he never checked into his hotel. Plus Gale Weathers, a reporter who has been harassing her for a year,  and all the other reporters are driving her crazy!

“Gale: There she is! Sidney, hi, what happened? Are you alright?

Tatum: She’s not answering any questions alright. Just leave us alone.

Sidney Prescott: No, no Tatum it’s OK. She’s just doing her job, right Gale?

Gale: That’s right.

Sidney Prescott: So how’s the book?

Gale: Oh it’ll be out later this year.

Sidney Prescott: Oh, I’ll look for it.

Gale: I’ll send you a copy.

[Sidney turns around a punches Gale in the face]”

Also at the school we have a little Wes Craven easter egg, as he dresses up as a janitor in a Freddy Krueger sweater.

So the principal decides to suspend school until further notice as it is just too risky for the students. After they all have left, he finds himself joining the body count as well, victim #2.

The death of the principal was actually added to the film late into production. Bob Weinstein noticed there were 30 pgs in the script were nobody died and they decided that they needed another victim.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Billy’s friend Stu decides to throw a party and have all the kids in school come. I don’t understand why anyone’s parents would allow their kids to go out like that with A FREAKIN’ KILLER ON THE LOOSE. Come on people, Parent!!

At the party, the kids are chillin’, drinking beer, watching horror films, etc. Billy and Sidney go upstairs and talk, resulting in the two having sex.

Meanwhile downstairs everyone is chillin’ while Tatum goes off to the garage to get more beer. The scene in the garage is the only weak link in the film. First of all when Tatum walks over to the garage door and it almost closes on her, that would never happen. My dad is a contractor and I remeber when I was a kid I thought the garage would close on me too. However, they design garage doors specfically to not do that. In fact they have a certain radius that if someone was to walk within that radius the door would stop. And come on she IS IN A FREAKIN’ GARAGE!!! Do you know how many weapons there are in that thing? She passes over a hoe, rake, and a shovel! You see all kinds of tools throughout their fight too. She could easly find something to attack him and win. Although I do have to give props to Wes for allowing Tatum to to put up such a great fight.

Victim #3

Back in the living room,  Randy is giving a rundown on how to survive a horror film,  (* are the rules that are given by the killer).

1. You will not survive if you have sex
2. You will not survive if you do drugs or drinks
3. You will not survive if you say “I’ll be right back.”
4. Everyone is a suspect
5. *You will not survive if you ask “Who’s there.”*
6. *You will not survive if you go out to investigate a strange noise*

While all this is going on, Gale and Tatum’s brother Officer Dewey, have been spying on the party. Gale has snuck a camera into the party, so that she can view everything from her van. She and Dewey both take a break though, “walking off” together where they come upon Sidney’s father’s abandoned car.

Everyone back at the party gets the news that the principal is dead and had been strung up on the football field. Almost everyone leaves; with just Randy, Sidney, Billy, Stu, and Gale’s cameraman Kenny (in the van) staying behind .The killer comes out and starts attacking.

One of the best scenes is the scene where a drunk Randy is telling Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween to turn around while the killer is behind him. He constantly repeats, “Jamie, turn around. Turn around, Jamie!” as the killer is slowly creeping up behind him. The actor who plays Randy is also named Jamie (Jamie Kennedy) and the killer was currently behind him. This is also the only scene in which the  killer is actually one of the actors. Skeet Ulrich had asked specifically if he could wear the costume for one scene.

So Kenny and Dewey fall victim to his knife.

Victim #4&5

After Sidney and Billy are done having sex and have placed their clothes back on the killer charges in and stabs Billy. Sidney manages to run away and finds Tatum’s body.

As she continues running away she ends up getting in the way of Gale who was fleeing the killer from her van. Gale swerves to miss Sidney and crashes, getting knocked out. Sidney goes back to the house, taking the gun from the dying Dewey. She runs into Randy and Stu and is unsure who is the killer. She then runs into a wounded Billy and gives him the gun. Billy immediately shoots Randy and stands up.

Yep, Billy isn’t injured at all. In fact, it was all a ploy he is the real killer.

Billy: Corn Syrup, just like in the real movies.

Yep, the whole time Billy and Stu have been the killers. From Sidney’s mom to everyone else.

“Sidney Prescott: Why? Why did you kill my mother?

Billy: Why? WHY! You hear that Stu? I think she wants a motive. Well I don’t really believe in motives Sid, I mean did Norman Bates have a motive?

Stu: No.

Billy: Did we ever find out why Hannibal Lecter like to eat people? DON’T THINK SO! See it’s a lot more scarier when there’s no motive, Sid. We did your Mom a favor, Sid. That woman was a slut-bag whore who flashed her s*** all over town like she was Sharon Stone or somethin’.

Stu: Yeah, we put her out of her misery, ’cause let’s face Sidney, your mother was no Sharon Stone,hmm?

Billy: Is that motive enough for you? How about this? Your slut mother was f****** my father and she’s the reason my mom moved out and abandoned me. [Sid looks astonished] How’s that for a motive? Maternal abandonment causes serious deviant behaviour. It certainly f***** you up. It made you have sex with a psychopath.”

Yep, and not only that the planned the whole thing out so that her father would take the blame, make it look like he had a mental breakdown on the anniversary of his wife’s death and started killing people. They had kidnapped him and bring him out for their final act. Billy and Stu planned that attack on Sidney to make any second arrest look false and questionable.

Of course their plan will not be complete until they make themselves look like victims. Stu stabs Billy, and Billy stabs Stu. While the two are monologing and arguing they have seemed to forget one important thing.

 Sidney and her father have disappeared.

“Stu: S***…

Billy: What?

Stu: Oh, s***.

Billy: [They go into the kitchen to find Sidney and Mr. Prescott gone] Where are they? Where are they?

Stu: I don’t know, Billy, but I’m hurtin’, man!

Yep, just like they say in Dial M for Murder (1954), you can never plan the perfect murder. What sounds good on paper can never transfer to real life, because in real life there are just too many things that can go wrong.

“Margot Mary Wendice: Do you really believe in the perfect murder?

Mark Halliday: Mmm, yes, absolutely. On paper, that is. And I think I could, uh, plan one better than most people; but I doubt if I could carry it out.

Tony Wendice: Oh? Why not?

Mark Halliday: Well, because in stories things usually turn out the way the author wants them to; and in real life they don’t… always.”

So here Stu and Billy find themselves completely off script, and unsure…

[the phone rings]

Stu: Should I let the machine get it?

Billy: [answers it] Hello?

Sidney Prescott: Are you alone in the house?

Billy: B****! You b****, where the f*** are you?

Sidney Prescott: Not so fast, we’re going to play a little game. It’s called: Guess who just called the police and reported your sorry motherf******* a**!

[Stu is slowly collapsing to the floor]

Billy: Find her, you dips***! Get up!

Stu: I can’t, Billy. You already cut me too deep. I think I’m dying here, man!

Billy: [Billy gives Stu the phone] Talk to her. Talk to her.

Stu: Hello?

Sidney Prescott: Ah, Stu, Stu, Stu… What’s your motive? Billy’s got one. The police are on their way. What are you going to tell them?

Stu: Peer pressure. I’m far too sensitive.

Billy:[Billy takes the phone back] I’m going to rip you up, b****, just like your f****** mother!

Sidney Prescott: You’ve gotta find me first, you pansy-a** momma’s boy!”

Now the game of cat and mouse has changed with the hunted becoming the hunters.

 

In the end Gale, Sidney, Dewey, Mr. Prescott, and Randy survive.

So that was Scream one of the best horror-parodies ever made. For more fun check out Scream in 30 sec with bunnies. And How It Should Have Ended

This film really brought back the slasher genre, as after this slasher remakes and slasher film numbers escalated. It also brought up the debate on whether or not violence in movies affected people and caused them to become more violent? The most important thing is that this film increased the use of caller ID and made such phone harassment much harder. Although not for me.

The other thing I realized in this film is that I am soooooo Randy.

I also realized that just like The Cable Guy, I’m only a few steps away from the crazy.

Well, that’s Scream. Tune in next Saturday for Scream 2.

To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

To go to the previous post, go to In Their Proper Place

For more on Scream, go to When Horror Doesn’t Stay on the Screen

For more on Wes Craven, go to Krueger Town

For more on phone harrasment, go to It’s Coming From Inside the House

For more films influenced by Alfred Hitchcock, go to Everyone’s Entitled to One Good Scare

For more on serial killers, go to Hello? Is There a Killer in My Kitchen?

For more on slasher films, go to Camp Blood

For more films that spanned numerous sequels, go to He Who Walks Behind the Rows