I Want To Believe You, But I Have To Be Sure. I Can’t Stop Until I’m Certain That He’s Dead: Halloween II (1981)

He’s dead. You saw it. I saw a man in a mask. It was him. I want to believe you, but I have to be sure. I can’t stop until I’m certain that he’s dead.

Happy Halloween Everyone!

As I mentioned in my Leprechaun post, back in 2017, as that year had a Friday the 13th in October I had an idea to review the sequels to different slasher films in on the Fridays, with of course Friday the 13th Part II, being reviewed on the actual Friday the 13th. Unfortunately, I never finished that Horrorfest or the films I had planned to review as I had some technological difficulties with my computer and the app wasn’t fully developed.

Instead I planned to review the two remaining films later, in hopes of trying to do it again the next time there was a Friday the 13th in October, 2023. In 2017, 2023 felt like it was forever away, but of course now it is next year. As Halloween II is the last of the slasher films I need to review before next year, I thought why not end on it? I especially feel it is full circle as my first year of blogging I ended on Halloween and now my 10th year of blogging I’m reviewing Halloween II.

Oh well…

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this film, all I remember is the “twist revelation”.

The film starts off with the end of Halloween. We see the last 10 minutes of the previous film when Michael Myers takes off and Laurie and Dr. Loomis are together. The best part of this opening is the music, John Carpenter really knew how to make something that sounded creepy!

Laurie gets sent to the hospital to be looked after her fight while Dr. Loomis is crazily searching for Michael Myers. He of course is busy killing, as several people hadn’t heard the news yet and haven’t taken any extra precautions.

At one point Dr. Loomis sees a man dressed up similar to Michael Myers, although from our viewpoint it is most definitely not him as the guy is smaller and the face mask not quite the same. He ends up getting chased by the Dr and Sheriff’s deputy, but while chase hit by another car and catches on fire. It happens so quickly I’m not sure why that happened.

So does that mean that the outfit he wears is an actual Halloween costume that can be easily purchased like in Scream? I thought it was one that Myers made himself?

One of the EMTs recognizes Laurie and gives her extra attention in the hospital. I know we should trust the EMTs but I’ve seen so many horror movies I don’t trust people, and I’m suspicious.

The police think that the case is over and that Michael has been killed, but Dr. Loomis is not so sure. He keeps saying he shot him six times and it did nothing. I know in the previous film he was supposed to bet he embodiment of the “boogeyman”, but in this he is actually of this Earth as we found in the end twist; so does that mean he sold his soul to the devil ? Or is he the Antichrist? Why does death not affect him?

Hmmm…

This film the pacing is a little slow. In the previous film they build up the characters so we knew them and there was an emotional reaction when they were murdered. With this film we have a double barreled cat and mouse, Michael hunting and being hunted, but it die strong the same. I think because none of these characters do we really know enough to care about except Laurie.

Laurie is recuperating in the hospital when one of the nurses has a side remark that they are having trouble with the phone, oh no! It’s Michael!!!! He must be at the hospital.

The security guard goes to check it out and of course is killed. It isn’t really as surprising or as suspenseful as it was in the previous film. When the security guard is talking to the nurse in the radio while investigating, behind her in the window it looks like Michael Myers is waiting and watching. At first I thought it was him, but I think it was just a trick of the light. It would have been creepier if he was watching her.

I think that’s the issue. Michael is just running around while in the previous film he was watching and looking and that added to the tenseness and creepiness of the film. No one enjoys being stalked. In this we haven’t really seen him.

The police are busy as already tonight is Halloween and they have to worry about drunks, mischief makers, and the like; now they are searching for a serial killer, trying to talk down riots, and having to work with after tragedy hysteria.

The cops are pretty certain the man killed by car and fire was Michael Myers, even though Dr. Loomis insists it is not him. The deputy starts taking Loomis a little more seriously when some boys are searching for their friend who never made jr friend, a friend who is similar to the dead body found.

Hmm…

Meanwhile, Laurie is sleeping when some repressed memories resurface. She is adopted and her adopted mother wouldn’t tell her anything about her real parents.

Meanwhile a nurse and the gross EMT (not the one into Laurie but the one who talks bad about women) decide to sneak off to the therapy room to have sex. Michael sneaks in and ups the temperature. When the gross EMT goes to check it, Michael kills him. I actually like how they did this scene as we can hardly see it through the glass doors and there is no sound other than the thermal pools. He kills the girl too.

It turns out that Michael broke into the school and left a message. He’s after his sister, planning to kill her. But who is his sister? Did he kill her already or is he planning on killing her?

The EMT into Laurie goes to check on her and finds her in a cationic state. He calls a nurse and after she checks her she goes searching for the Dr. But it’s too late, he’s already dead! And the nurse is next. Nurse…did they ever say her name?

I mean I knelt that we don’t have a lot of time to introduce the characters as so much is happening in one night, Halloween, it would be nice if their was as I don’t know who and if these people are and by not knowing them their deaths little affect me.

Michael goes after Laurie, but when he tries to kill end her he find the bed full of pillows. It turns out that Laurie must of had a premonition or something as she escaped her room just in time.

Hospital staff can’t find her, but we the viewer know she is alive and hiding. The EMT and a nurse talk about what to do next and when their separate we see they were staining in front of a doctor’s screen, one where Michael was hiding behind. Michael kills the EMT before he can leave the hospital.

The nurse tries to leave but the car is dead. She plans to take Karen’s car but it has a flat tire. With nothing else to do, she goes back to the hospital where she finds Laurie, but is murdered.

Now it is Laurie versus Michael Round 2: New Location. Laurie tried to get away, squeezing through a window, up an elevator, and out the hospital. But is it enough?

Dr. Loomis has been recalled as they don’t want to get involved with the legalities. On the way out of town the person entrusted to ensure Loomis leaves let slip there was a secret file on Myers and it turns out Laurie is his sister! Loomis uses his gun to force them to go to the hospital to try and save Laurie.

Back with Laurie, Jimmy the EMT is alive? I thought he was killed? He tries to start the car. It can’t and dies? Passes out? I’m not sure which but he lands on the horn and gives away their position. Laurie gets out of the car but her adrenaline is going and she is weak and tired from the night. She see Dr. Loomis arrive and calls out to him, but he doesn’t see her. Instead she tries to get back into the hospital as Michael is after her again.

Dr. Loomis shoots again and seems to knock him out, but he’s not dead. Do you think he sacrificed his sister and parents’ lives in order to be immortal or unlikable? And that’s why he needs to kill Laurie?

Hmmm…

Before when he was just an entity of evil I could see him being unlikable as evil never dies, but as a person with a family how come he can’t be killed?

Michael takes out the marshal and once again hunts Loomis and Laurie. Michael stand Loomis and tries to get Laurie but she shoots him in the face and this wounds him. Maybe tang is why he wants her dead, maybe his deal won’t he devil was that only those who share his blood can defeat him, home wanting to remove all those people?

Blinded by blood, Dr. Loomis uses this to gain some time by opening up ether and other aerosols. He tells Laurie to leave and then blows everything up. But Michael isn’t dead, you can’t really kill him…

He’s out there somewhere…

So that end another Horrorfest!!! I hope you all enjoyed it!

I hope you all have a fantastic and safe Halloween!

For more on Halloween, go to Everyone’s Entitled to One Good Scare: Halloween (1978)

For more John Carpenter, go to There’s Something in the Fog!: The Fog (1980)

For more Jamie Lee Curtis, go to It’s a Weird Case from the Start. A Case With a Hole in the Center: Knives Out (2019)

For more serial killers, go to X Marks the Murder, Part I: Diagnosis Murder (1996)

For more sequels, go to On Me Next Thousandth Birthday, I’ll Stalk Your Fairest Offspring and Claim Her As Me Bride!: Leprechaun 2 (1994)

Riddle Me This, Riddle Me That, Who’s Afraid of the Big, Black Bat?: Batman Forever (1995)

Riddle me this, riddle me that, who’s afraid of the big, black bat?

Every time a new Batman movie comes out everyone starts talking about which film they think is the worst of the lot, for me it will always be Batman Forever (1995).

Ugh…this film

I wasn’t originally going to review this film, but since I couldn’t get my hands on a copy of the film I wanted to review, Batman Versus the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Scooby-Doo Meets Batman, Instead I had to settle for this film.

Oh it is also the inspiration for my Jane Austen dress up this year:

There are only two thing I like about this film, Jim Carrry was an excellent choice for Edward Nygma/The Riddler and I liked the change of Robin’s suit so it isn’t bright red and green. I know a lot of people like to make fun of the latter ‘90s Batman films, but both Batman Forever and Batman and Robin updated more of the colorful costumes, something you see in the superhero films/TV shows of today like Captain America, Daredevil, etc.

Tim Burton passed on this film, with Joel Schumacher becoming the director. Along with Burton, Keaton also choose not to come back and they had to find a new Batman, with Val Kilmer getting the role. Now Kilmer is not a bad actor but I think he is terrible in this as he plays it so stiff and unemotional.

This film takes place a year after Batman Returns but isn’t a Christmas film. I. This Batman/Bruce Wayne (Kilmer) is feeling guilty as his friend Harvey Dent (who is now white and played by Tommy Lee Jones instead of Billy Dee Williams) has changed from kind, lovable, and moral lawyer to sadistic killer psychopath. Why the change? He was disfigured with acid by mobster Sal Maroni. I always wished they had gone with the Batman the Animated series versions where he already had a background of mental illness and then the something happened to magnify it.

Anyways, Batman defuses a hostage situation, meeting Arkham’s new psychoanalyst, Dr. Chase Meridan (Nicole Kidman) who is my least favorite Batman love interest. This character was not based on anything from the actual comics but created specifically for the film by screenwriters Janet and Lee Batchler. They thought it would be more interesting for him to date a psychoanalyst rather than a typical socialite. While I like the idea, I feel like this particular version of powerful woman is something men “think” is powerful but instead is just overtly sexual and has her own issues she should be focusing on before trying to assist others.

Batman/Bruce then later hasto go to Wayne Enterprises for his other job. There at Wayne Enterprises is Edward Nygma, big brain scientist who is obsessed with Bruce Wayne. When Bruce rejects his invention of trying to beam television signals into a person’s brain and influence then to make certain purchases, he becomes enraged and it is th trigger that pushes him on a chaotic and murderous path. It’s funny that Bruce is so against this, since that is essentially what most companies are doing. I mean I’m not saying they affect your brainwaves, but they are cataloging your info and trying to influence your shopping. Nygma kills his supervisor and plots to destroy Bruce.

Bruce likes the Dr. Meridian but she likes Batman. Poor guy, he’s falling victim to the Peter Parker/Black Cat scenario, when the girl finds your alter ego exciting but your real life boring. He asks her to accompany him to a charity functions and she agrees to attend. They go to the circus and watch the Flying Graysons perform. Unfortunately the night is ruined by a crazed by Two-Face who demands Batman or else he’ll blow up the whole tent. 17 year old Dick Grayson (Chris O’Donnell) the youngest of the trapeze troupe manages to disarm Two Face’s bomb and sending it into the river and saving everyone. However, his joy is short lived as a very angry Two-Face kills the rest of the Graysons in retaliation.

Bruce takes Dick in as he recognizes the pain he is in. Dick of course does what every kid would do in a mansion, he goes around looking in every room and discovers the bat cave and that Bruce is Batman. He demands they create the “dynamic duo” but Batman says no. Dick gets angry and basically goes “you’re not my father!” on him.

Dude you were taken in by a billionaire. If that was me I would not be making demands but enjoying it.

Nygma becomes the Riddler and joins forces with Two-Face. Two-Face is way more comedic in this then how I like him to be (as Two-Fave is one of my favorite Batman villains). They really try to send the “split personality” theory home with him not just having his face and suit divided, but his home and two ladies to appeal to both natures (Drew Barrymore and Debi Mazer). I’ve always felt this was way too over the top and silly. Two-Face was a really interesting and complex character and both film portrayals of him were terrible.

Team Two-Face and Riddler commit a series of robberies, the money Riddler funnels into his brainwave project creating the “Box”, which steals information from users’ minds.

Nygma throws a big party and steals info from people (again what happens today wow this movie was ahead of the times), discovering Batman’s secret identity and almost killing Bruce (before he knows he is Batman). Luckily Dick saves the day.

Dr. Chase turns on the bat signal and tries to seduce Batman, propositioning him, but he refuses her. Later he goes to her office as Batman, but she rejects him as she is in love with Bruce.

Are you really? I mean all your conversations have been you being rude to him, talking over him, and basically treating him as if he was a buffoon.

With the info about Batman the dastardly duo blow up his house/batcave and kidnap Dr. Meridian. Bruce and Alfred deduce who is behind this (Nygma), Bruce has Duck/Robin be his partner, an they save the day.

At the end they have captured Nygma but he’s lost his mind and Batman’s secret is safe forever.

So even though this film is Batman Forever, Val Kilmer did not stay Batman Forever, as he didn’t get for the bat suit and in the final film was replaced by George Clooney. Dr. Meridan also didn’t turn out to be a “forever” relationship as in the next film they are broken up.

The film is not as interesting as the previous two (or I’d argue the latter one) which is sad as there was a lot that could have been done with the characters. It’s definitely my least favorite of all the Batman films.

For more Batman, go to A Man Dressed as a Giant Bat, Psychotic Deformed Man Wrecking Havoc, and a Zombie Cat Woman…A Batman Christmas: Batman Returns (1992)

For more detectives, go to The Crimes of Juliet O’Hara and a Blast from the Past: Psych the Movie (2017)

For more Tommy Lee Jones, go to I Could Shoot You in the Middle of Mardi Gras and They Can’t Touch Me…: Double Jeopardy (1999)

For more Jim Carrey, go to I Don’t Want to Be a Vampire. I’m a Day Person: Once Bitten (1985)

A Man Dressed as a Giant Bat, Psychotic Deformed Man Wrecking Havoc, and a Zombie Cat Woman…A Batman Christmas: Batman Returns (1992)

Merry Christmas!

Just kidding! Today we are reviewing a horror film that also is a Christmas movie.

And for this year we are doing something special: Sleuthing Sundays.

Each Sunday I’ll post a film with a super sleuth! Our fourth and final film is:

Yes, it time for our annual Tim Burton film. Last year I reviewed Batman, and decided to cover the sequel.

Some of you might not think this counts for a horror film, as it is a superhero film but I say it does.

I mean we have a psychotic deformed killer.

And a zombie cat woman:

So I grew up watching this film and I just love it. When I think of Batman, to me it is always Michael Keaton or Kevin Conroy. There is no other Batman (although I do recognize Adam West, I just never watched his show until I was older) This is an absolutely amazing film and Keaton is an amazing Batman and Michelle Pfeiffer is the best Catwoman.

Originally Tim Burton and Michael Keaton hadn’t signed for a sequel, but were convinced when the script met all of Burton’s demands and Keaton only agreed to do the second film after a serious increase in his salary. Thank goodness for that or who else would we have had?

For me this movie is the end of the original film series as after this we had Val Kilmer and George Clooney take over, neither of which was very good in my opinion.

 It’s Christmastime and evil businessman Max Shreck (Christopher Walken) has committed many, many crimes. His secretary, Selina Kyle, discovered this and was murdered by him. Luckily, she was revived by the stray cats she’s been feeding. I kind of like that they never really answer the how and why. Sometimes it is better to leave it open-ended then to explain it strangely like in Catwoman. It pays to be a catlover.

From Breakfast at Tiffany’s

After she is revived she runs about Gotham and she is a fantastic character as she wants Shreck to pay, but other than that she has no real plan and just goes about-sometimes nice and sometimes cruel, like a cat. I love the scene when she saves the lady who was attacked in an alleyway but then gives her an angry lecture-that’s cattitude right there, or at least it makes me think of how my cat can be nice and then strike out at you.

Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot (Danny DeVito) was born deformed and tossed away by his parentns, found ad raised by circus people. He has discovered what Shreck has been doing and blackmails him. Shreck tries to use him, when the penguin comes up with a plan to make every parent and family pay.

The Penguin and Catwoman team up to take Batman down, when on the flipside Bruce Wayne and Selina have been growing closer and closer and falling in love. While Vicky was annoying, I really like them together. They have excellent chemistry and amazing timing.

Everything comes to a head at the Christmas Ball. Will Batman be able to stop the villains? Will Bruce lose another love?

I have to watch! {Picture from Ringu)

The filming is fantastic and the dialogue is amazing! Here are a few of my favorites: Alfred’s zingers

Alfred: Why are you now determined to prove that this Penguin is not what he seems? Must you be the only lonely man-beast in town?

After Selina has been revived and had her change of personality:

Selina Kyle: Honey, I’m home. Oh, I forgot. I’m not married.

Or when she sasses Batman:

[Catwoman is hit]

Catwoman: How could you? I’m a woman.

Batman: I’m sorry, I-I…[Catwoman hits him]

Catwoman: As I was saying, I’m a woman and can’t be taken for granted. Life’s a b****, now so am I.

And one of my favorite parts of the film:

Bruce Wayne: [working on the Batcomputer. Alfred sets down a bowl of soup in front of him. He picks up the spoon and takes a sip, only to spit it out] Cold!

Alfred: It’s vichyssoise.

Bruce Wayne: [stares, not knowing why it’s important]

Alfred: It’s *supposed* to be cold.

Bruce Wayne: [Eats it]

The costumes are great. The penguin is hideous and terrifying. Michelle Pfeiffer hated the costume as she was vacuumed sealed in it and had to take breaks as it constricted her so much she had trouble breathing. But it looks so cool. Deranged and cool.

A great film and I highly recommend it.

For more detectives, go to The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Meet Dracula, Part I: The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries (1977)

For more Batman, go to What Are You? I’m Batman!: Batman (1989)

For more Tim Burton films, go to Once, There Was Even a Man Who Had Scissors for Hands: Edward Scissorhands (1990)

For more Michelle Pfeiffer, go to Non-Austen Films for Austen Fans: Stardust (2007)

For more Christopher Walken, go to It was a Horseman, a Dead One. Headless: Sleepy Hollow (1999)

For more film-noir, go to This Is Fate We’re Talking About, and If Fate Works At All, It Works Because People Think That THIS TIME, It Isn’t Going to Happen!: Dead Again (1991)

 

What’s Your Favorite Scary Movie?: Scream (1996)

So this Horrorfest, I am going to be doing something a little different. We are going to have “Screamtastic Saturdays”. Every Saturday in October going to be on a different Scream movie. So let’s kick it off with:

What’s your favorite scary movie?

*Spolier Alert*

So I really loved this movie. I have to say that I was originally disappointed in Wes Craven as Nightmare on Elm Streettotally tanked. This film was by far, much better. One of the coolest things about this film is that it is a parody of horror films, while still being its own horror film.

So the beginning starts off with Drew Barrymore cooking popcorn and preparing for a fun night in watching scary movies with her boyfriend. Just like When A Stranger Calls, she receives a strange phone call and is at first into it, thinking it is just a joke.

However, it quickly turns serious as the caller threatens Casey that he is going to kill her and her boyfriend, Steve.

But she has a chance at being saved, all she has to do is answer who was the killer in Friday the 13th.

“Phone Voice: Name the killer in Friday the 13th.

Casey: Jason! Jason! Jason!

Phone Voice: I’m sorry. That’s the wrong answer!

Casey: No, it’s not. No it’s not. It was Jason.

Phone Voice: Afraid not. No way.

Casey: Listen, it was Jason! I saw that movie 20 g******* times!

Phone Voice: Then you should know that Jason’s mother, Mrs. Voorhees was the original killer. Jason didn’t show up until the sequel. I’m afraid that was a wrong answer.

Casey: [Weeping] You tricked me.

Phone Voice: Lucky for you there’s a bonus round, but poor Steve… I’m afraid he’s OUT!”

Steve is murdered and Casey runs throughout the house trying to get away from the killer. Of which she doesn’t make it out and finds herself victim #1.

And thus the body count begins…

So the killing of Drew Barrymore holds two significant things. One, she was one the most famous actress in the film, and was killed first. This was supposed to be a homage to Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho (1960), in which the most famous actress of the film, Janet Leigh, was only in the movie for a short while before she was killed. This was also supposed to be a parody of Craven’s film Nightmare on Elm Street, when the first character we meet, Tina (played by Amanda Wyss), is killed. Craven also had his character Casey wear white just like Tina in Nightmare on Elm Street.

The next day, the town Woodsboro is just ravaged by reporters who are eager to find out more about this murder, especially since it occurred almost exactly a year after their little town experienced a murder just as gruesome. The murder of Maureen Prescott by Cotton Weary.

Meanwhile, Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) is trying to cope with everything that is going on.

As to be expected she is having a really hard time with the anniversary of her mother’s death. When she hears about the murders and sees the reporters crawling all over town and school, the memories of the past year come flooding back.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

One of her other big issues is her boyfriend Billy Loomis.

Okay, I just have to go off on a tangent here: Billy is sooooooooooooo creepy looking. When I first saw this I was like he is toooootally the killer. I mean LOOK AT HIM! He has killer written alllll over him. Those eyes, they are super frightening. And the way he talks? He tells Sidney that he was watching Silence of the Lambs and that made him think of her and want to come over and get ”together”. What a freak!

(BTW it is another Psycho reference. Billy Loomis is a homage to Sam Loomis, Marion Crane’s boyfriend in Psycho; and Dr. Sam Loomis in Halloween.)

The two have been having issues since Sidney’s mom died. She was so traumatized by the event that she has isolated herself and found it hard to let anyone in again. Her best friend Tatum is cool with it as she understands Sidney needs time to grieve, but Billy has been having a hard time backtracking from third base to the benches. Ladies, let me just say that if any guy ever tries to pressure into having sex when you aren’t ready, junk punch him and run away. You don’t need that loser in your life.

To top off the already bad day, Sidney’s father has to go out of town, leaving Sidney all alone in a big house.

Yep, gonna make When a Stranger Calls  references all night.

Sidney makes plans to meet up with Tatum and stay at her place, but falls asleep at home when Tatum is late picking her up. While Sidney is waiting she gets a phone call from the killer who starts harassing her. And she stupidly calls throughout the house trying to find him.

“Sidney Prescott: Can you see me right now?  Ah, okay. [puts a finger in her nose] What am I doing? Huh? Huh? What am I doing? Hello? [takes finger out] Nice try, Randy. Tell Tatum to hurry up, okay? Bye now.

Ghostface: IF YOU HANG UP ON ME, YOU’LL DIE JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER! Do you want to die, Sidney? Your mother sure didn’t.

Sidney Prescott: F*** you, you cretin!”

Soon the killer comes in her house and she has to run away from him and try to get the police there before she is victim #3. Billy shows up, climbing through her window saving her; that is until Sidney sees that he has a cellphone and freaks out, having the police cart him away.

So there are a couple places that were filmed in Santa Rosa, CA. One was the bathroom scene in which Sidney is attacked, the other is Tatum’s house which is right across the street from the house used in Pollyanna (1960). It is also across the street from the house used in Alfred Hitchcock’s Shadow of a Doubt (1943). The house in the opening scene was next door to the house used in Cujo (1983). As I lived in that area when I attended college, I’ve been there. 

Sidney spends the night at Tatum’s house and the next day is completely crazy. Billy was released as they had nothing to hold him on. And they still are unable to find her father as he never checked into his hotel. Plus Gale Weathers, a reporter who has been harassing her for a over year, is back and won’t let up.

“Gale: There she is! Sidney, hi, what happened? Are you alright?

Tatum: She’s not answering any questions alright. Just leave us alone.

Sidney Prescott: No, no Tatum it’s OK. She’s just doing her job, right Gale?

Gale: That’s right.

Sidney Prescott: So how’s the book?

Gale: Oh it’ll be out later this year.

Sidney Prescott: Oh, I’ll look for it.

Gale: I’ll send you a copy.

[Sidney turns around a punches Gale in the face]”

Also at the school we have a little Wes Craven easter egg, as he plays the janitor and dresses in a Freddy Krueger sweater.

The principal (Henry Winkler) decides to suspend school until further notice as it is just too risky for the students. After they all have left, he finds himself joining the body count as well, victim #3.

The death of the principal was actually added to the film late into production. Bob Weinstein noticed there were 30 pgs in the script where no one was murdered and they decided that they needed another victim.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Billy’s friend Stu decides to throw a party and have all the kids in school come. I don’t understand why anyone’s parents would allow their kids to go out like that with A FREAKIN’ KILLER ON THE LOOSE. Come on people, Parent!!

At the party, the kids are chillin’, drinking beer, watching horror films, etc. Billy and Sidney go upstairs and talk, resulting in the two having sex.

Meanwhile downstairs Tatum goes off to the garage to get more beer and is attacked by the killer. This garage scene is the only weak link in the film. First of all when Tatum walks over to the garage door and it almost closes on her, that would never happen. My dad is a contractor and I remember when I was a kid I thought the garage would close on me too; however, they design garage doors specfically to not do that. In fact, they have a certain radius that if someone was to walk within that circle the door would stop. And come on she IS IN A FREAKIN’ GARAGE!!! Do you know how many weapons there are in that thing? She passes over a hoe, rake, and a shovel! You see all kinds of tools throughout their fight too. She could easly find something to attack him and win. Although I do have to give props to Wes for allowing Tatum to to put up such a great fight.

Victim #4

Back in the living room,  Randy is giving a rundown on how to survive a horror film,  (* are the rules that are given by the killer).

1. You will not survive if you have sex
2. You will not survive if you do drugs or drinks
3. You will not survive if you say “I’ll be right back.”
4. Everyone is a suspect
5. *You will not survive if you ask “Who’s there.”*
6. *You will not survive if you go out to investigate a strange noise*

While all this is going on, Gale and Tatum’s brother Officer Dewey, have been spying on the party. Gale has snuck a camera into the party, so that she can view everything from her van. She and Dewey both take a break though, “walking off” together where they come upon Sidney’s father’s abandoned car.

Everyone back at the party gets the news that the principal is dead and had been strung up on the football field. Almost everyone leaves; with just Randy, Sidney, Billy, Stu, and Gale’s cameraman Kenny (in the van) staying behind. The killer comes out and starts attacking.

One of the best scenes is the scene is when a drunk Randy is watching Halloween and telling Jamie Lee Curtis’ character to turn around while the killer is behind him (Randy). He constantly repeats, “Jamie, turn around. Turn around, Jamie!” as the killer is slowly creeping up behind him.

So Kenny and Dewey fall victim to his knife.

Victim #5 & 6

After Sidney and Billy are done having sex and have changed back into their clothes the killer charges in and stabs Billy (#7), while Sidney manages to run away and finds Tatum’s body.

As she continues running she runs in the path of Gale who was fleeing the killer in her van. Gale swerves to miss Sidney and crashes, getting knocked out. Sidney goes back to the house, taking the gun from the dying Dewey. She runs into Randy and Stu and is unsure who is the killer. She then runs into a wounded Billy and gives him the gun. Billy immediately shoots Randy (#8) and stands up.

Yep, Billy isn’t injured at all. In fact, it was all a ploy he is the real killer.

Billy: Corn Syrup, just like in the real movies.

Yep, the whole time Billy and Stu have been the killers. From Sidney’s mom (the real first victim) to everyone else.

“Sidney Prescott: Why? Why did you kill my mother?

Billy: Why? WHY! You hear that Stu? I think she wants a motive. Well I don’t really believe in motives Sid, I mean did Norman Bates have a motive?

Stu: No.

Billy: Did we ever find out why Hannibal Lecter like to eat people? DON’T THINK SO! See it’s a lot more scarier when there’s no motive, Sid. We did your Mom a favor, Sid. That woman was a slut-bag whore who flashed her s*** all over town like she was Sharon Stone or somethin’.

Stu: Yeah, we put her out of her misery, ’cause let’s face Sidney, your mother was no Sharon Stone,hmm?

Billy: Is that motive enough for you? How about this? Your slut mother was f****** my father and she’s the reason my mom moved out and abandoned me. [Sid looks astonished] How’s that for a motive? Maternal abandonment causes serious deviant behaviour. It certainly f***** you up. It made you have sex with a psychopath.”

Yep, and not only that, but the two planned the whole thing out so that her father would take the blame, making it look like he had a mental breakdown on the anniversary of his wife’s death and started killing people. They kidnapped her father and brought him out of hiding for their final act. Billy and Stu planned that original attack on Sidney (when Billy was arrested) to make any second arrest look false and questionable.

Of course their plan will not be complete until they make themselves look like victims. Stu stabs Billy, and Billy stabs Stu. While the two are monologing and arguing they have seemed to forget one important thing.

 Sidney and her father have disappeared.

“Stu: S***…

Billy: What?

Stu: Oh, s***.

Billy: [They go into the kitchen to find Sidney and Mr. Prescott gone] Where are they? Where are they?

Stu: I don’t know, Billy, but I’m hurtin’, man!

Yep, just like they say in Dial M for Murder, you can never plan the perfect murder. What sounds good on paper can never transfer to real life, because in real life there are just too many things that can go wrong.

“Margot Mary Wendice: Do you really believe in the perfect murder?

Mark Halliday: Mmm, yes, absolutely. On paper, that is. And I think I could, uh, plan one better than most people; but I doubt if I could carry it out.

Tony Wendice: Oh? Why not?

Mark Halliday: Well, because in stories things usually turn out the way the author wants them to; and in real life they don’t… always.”

So here Stu and Billy find themselves completely off script, and unsure…

[the phone rings]

Stu: Should I let the machine get it?

Billy: [answers it] Hello?

Sidney Prescott: Are you alone in the house?

Billy: B****! You b****, where the f*** are you?

Sidney Prescott: Not so fast, we’re going to play a little game. It’s called: Guess who just called the police and reported your sorry motherf******* a**!
[Stu is slowly collapsing to the floor]
Billy: Find her, you dips***! Get up!
Stu: I can’t, Billy. You already cut me too deep. I think I’m dying here, man!
Billy: [Billy gives Stu the phone] Talk to her. Talk to her.
Stu: Hello?
Sidney Prescott: Ah, Stu, Stu, Stu… What’s your motive? Billy’s got one. The police are on their way. What are you going to tell them?
Stu: Peer pressure. I’m far too sensitive.
Billy:[Billy takes the phone back] I’m going to rip you up, b****, just like your f****** mother!
Sidney Prescott: You’ve gotta find me first, you pansy-a** momma’s boy!”

Now the game of cat and mouse has changed with the hunted becoming the hunters.

In the end Gale, Sidney, Dewey, Mr. Prescott, and Randy survive (only 5 victims).

So that was Scream one of the best horror-parodies ever made.

This film really brought back the slasher genre, as after this slasher remakes and slasher film numbers escalated. It also brought up the debate on whether or not violence in movies affected people and caused them to become more violent? The most important thing is that this film increased was the use of caller ID and made such phone harassment much harder to do. Although not for me.

The other thing I realized in this film is that I am soooooo Randy.

I also realized that just like in The Cable Guy, I’m only a few steps away from the crazy.

Well, that’s Scream. Tune in next Saturday for Scream 2.

To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

To go to the previous post, go to In Their Proper Place

For more on Scream, go to When Horror Doesn’t Stay on the Screen

For more on Wes Craven, go to Krueger Town

For more on phone harrasment, go to It’s Coming From Inside the House

For more films influenced by Alfred Hitchcock, go to Everyone’s Entitled to One Good Scare

For more on serial killers, go to Hello? Is There a Killer in My Kitchen?

For more on slasher films, go to Camp Blood

For more films that spanned numerous sequels, go to He Who Walks Behind the Rows

A Trip to the Mall Turns into the Twilight Zone

So if you’ve been around since the very, very beginning of the creation of this blog, then you will remember that this isn’t my first blog. You see, I read this book Considering Lily, and the main character in there reminded me of myself and made me want to create a blog like she does. My friend Elaine also encouraged me after we had a particularly strange encounter at the mall. That blog was called My Life is a Movie. However, I stupidly forgot to bookmark the page and when I tried to go back to write more on that blog I could not find it at all. I also discovered that there are many, many, many, many blogs who share that name or a variation of it. I gave up and decided blogging wasn’t for me. That is until six months later, after I had finished reading Emma. I loved the book and saw so many similarities that I decided to create a blog, and that dear readers is how Jane Austen Runs My Life was born.

And, that in case you were all wondering, is why it is not only about Jane Austen. That’s how this blog started out, but it quickly expanded into other films and books. However, my Austiniteness will always be the core of these blogs.

Anyways, so what about this Twilight Zone title? Well, I was cleaning through some files and I found two pics I had created and saved from that orginal blog and story. I decided to treat you all with this time capsule as I try and relate this adventure that happened two years ago. I’m so sorry of I leave anything out. So now we shall take a seat in my time machine Delorean and  go back to February 10 or 11 2012 (I know it was before V-Day)

Since this is a past memory, it must be written in italics. You know, kinda like an old-fashioned diary or something.

So the other day my friend Elaine and I decided that we would go to the mall. She wanted to go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond for something and I wanted to pick something up from Bare Escentuals. She decided to put on her GPS, but there was just one problem. GPSs HATE ME! Every time I get in a car with one we end up in the middle of nowhere, we go in the opposite direction, the GPS malfunctions, takes us through the creepiest areas, etc. I’m not kidding, it is literally every time. I mean once my friend went to the Super Target in the next town, and the next week was going to give me and two of our other friends a ride. Even though she had saved the route from the week before, this next time because I was in the car it took us as far away as possible, even though it said it was saving the exact route.

So we are driving around, when the GPS tells us it has to recalculate. We both look at each other:

Like what the heck GPS you had nooo reason to recalculate. We didn’t make any wrong turns, or do anything to screw you up. What are you doing? And the little evil thing decided that it was  going to keep doing that to us.

It just kept doing that nonstop! Recalculate, recalculate, recalculate, again and again and again!!! It made both of annoyed, but I just wanted to take that thing and toss it out the window.

ARRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!

You know I really didn’t like that movie, but I use this screenshot a loooot. It really expresses my emotions sometimes.

So, of course I didn’t toss the GPS, it belonged to my friend. Instead we had to use a mixture of her phone GPS and our memory of where we thought the mall was. We ended up getting there and thought, well everything will be fine and normal now, right? WRONG!!!!

So we park the car and head into Forever 21 so that we could get into the mall and get the items we needed. As we enter Forever 21 we look around the store, and look, and look, and look; and can’t find a way out!

AHHHHHHH!!!!

I am serious there is NO WAY OUT!  We can’t even find the way we entered. I’m like I”M STUCK IN HERE FOREVER!!!!!!! THAT’S WHY IT’S CALLED FOREVER 21, I WILL BE IN HERE FOR 21 YEARS!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so let’s get serious. I felt like I was going to be stuck in there, but not for years. Just hours. So the reason we couldn’t find a way out was that it turns out that they had all these mirrors hanging strategically in front of the doors, so unless you looked at the doors from an angle you would only see the clothes reflected back, therefore leaving one to think the store extended farther than it did, and that there was no way out.

Whoever designed that store was like Jigsaw level of sadistic and psychotic.

I’m serious, those designers and planners were just plan mean and cruel. Who does that?

So after we had survived the dastardly Forever 21, we continued to our destination, when Elaine says she has to use the bathroom. So we decide that we are not going back into Forever 21, but look through the place for other bathrooms. We found them, but you had to walk down this hallway with black and white checkerboards. We walk and walk and walk and walk  and walk and walk…. Yeah it just seems to go on forever. And those white and black checkerboard tiles, give the hall an appearance of shrinking that we start to feel as if we are in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory or something! 

Except sadly there was no chocolate or Gene Wilder in this adventure.

So we finally reach the bathroom, and go in. But when we come out it feels so weird. It feels like we have been in the mall for hours and hours, or even days. We both started joking around that when we finally got back to the mall we would be entering the 1960s or something. I have expected Rod Serling to pop out at any moment and say “What started out as just an average day for those two girls, turned out to be a shortcut…into…THE TWILIGHT ZONE.”

To be perfectly honest, I love him so much I wouldn’t care if he did pop up like that.

So the rest of the trip was pretty normal. We were both freaked out, that we got what we wanted and got outta there. We were able to get past the Forever 21 gauntlet/maze

I can do this….just have to wait for the right time

We get out to the parking lot and when we do we CAN’T FIND THE CAR!

And NO we were not high. So we are walking up rows looking for it. Joking, and half-believing, that we will find out that it is parked in a completely different area or back on campus. We finally find it and head home. 

Yep what an adventure right? You might not believe me but its true.

I swear. And I have never been back to that Forever 21 because it is tooo creepy to do that again. Stick to the Disney store, its safe. 🙂