25 More Films of Christmas

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So two years ago I tried to do a Christmas countdown, the 12 Posts of Christmas, but I discovered that it is really difficult as you get involved in Christmas activities. So last year I decided to make it easier on myself and did a singular post listing 25 of my favorite films that were either classified as Christmas movies or had a Christmas scene in it. Since it worked so great last year, I decided why not do it again? So here are 25 more films of Christmas! (Once again these aren’t my my top favorite 25, but randomly picked and then rearranged them in the order of how I love them.

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25) Holiday (1938)

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Holiday (1938) is a remake of the 1930 film. In it Johnny Case (Cary Grant), a self-made man, is heading to his fiancé Julia Seton’s house for the holidays. While on the surface the two appreared perfect for each other, as Johnny spends more time at the Seton household he finds himself having more in common with Julia’s younger sister, Linda (Katherine Hepburn). Johnny now finds himself in a dilemma, should he honor the commitment he made to Julia? Or should he try to find love with another?

Why it’s Great: Hepburn and Grant made four films together, and anytime you have these two paired up you have pure gold. Grant is his attractive, charming, and at times comical self. Hepburn is the silly, comedic, oddball, and modern woman that she always does great at. A fun film. Plus those scenes of Grant tumbling? Priceless.

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24) The Polar Express (2004)

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The Polar Express is based on the short book of the same name. In the 1950s, a little boy, no longer believes in Santa Claus. On Christmas Eve, he hears something outside and goes aboard the Polar Express, the train that heads right up to the North Pole and Santa’s home. He makes new friends on the train, helps control the train, meets a ghost hobo who tries to teach him morals, and ends up in the North Pole coming face to face with Santa Claus.

Why it’s Great: This is a cute kid’s movie. Tom Hanks is pretty amazing at how he plays almost every character in the film. The kids are cute, especially the geeky, know-it-all tattletale. He makes me laugh. It has a good message of faith, believing, leading, etc. It also has a couple great songs: The Polar Express and When Christmas Comes to Town. It does have a few problems though. Mainly it suffers from the same issues all small picture book film adaptions face, extra content to fill the time block. There are a lot  of unnecessary songs, characters, and scenes; that if they had been culled would have resulted in a stronger film. But on the whole it is a cute, family, Christmas film.

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23) Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)

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The sequel to Home Alone (see #2 on the list). Home Alone 2 has Kevin McCallister once again finding himself spending Christmas on his own, but this time he’s in New York! How did this happen? Well this year instead of going to France, the McCallister clan is heading to Florida. Once again they find themselves running late to the airport (but this time being sure they have Kevin) and have to run to catch their flight. Kevin stops for a moment to get batteries out of his dad’s bag and accidentally follows the wrong man onto a plane to New York City. He starts living it large at the Plaza and using all his dad’s credit cards and cash (as he has his bag). Everything goes well, until he runs into the two thieves he harassed the year before and sent to prison. They come after him, but luckily he has rigged his uncle’s townhouse into one giant trap.

Why it’s Great: I have to say how he gets alone again was done really clever. The scenes of him just spending the dough and buying pizza, ice-cream, going on huge toy shopping trips, etc is fantastic. That was all the things that kids wished they could be able to do. Tim Curry plays the hotel manager who notices the lack of an adult and is awesome in being evil and trying to trip Kevin up. Unfortunately, the second half the film falls a little flat. I mean what are the odds of the thieves running into Kevin in New York City? There are a gajillion people who live there. Also the traps aren’t as clever as in the original film. It wasn’t nearly as great as the original, but still one fun holiday film.

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22) Elf (2003)

Go here to see who you are

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One Christmas a baby boy accidentally gets on to Santa Claus’ sled and is transported to the North Pole. One of the elves adopts him and raises him as his own child, naming him Buddy. One day, Buddy overhears some elves mention he is a human. He goes to his elf father and discovers the story of his adoption. They tell him who is real father is, and Buddy travels to New York City to meet him. When he firsts meets his father Walter Hobbs (James Caan), Walter doesn’t believe Buddy’s story to be true. After a DNA test confirms it, Buddy is introduced to the family. Buddy befriends his stepmother, stepbrother, and makes new friends. However, he doesn’t fit in well with “humans” and after an argument with his dad, decides to return to the North Pole. On his way he runs into Santa who is having trouble using his sleigh and magic as people don’t believe in him anymore. Now Buddy has a bigger problem to solve. How can he save Santa?

Why it’s Great: Now let me say that I am not that big a fan of Will Ferrell. I only like a few of his films, and this is one of those. The story is silly, but the reason it works is that Ferrell goes all in to the character of Buddy. Unlike everyone I know, I do not watch it over and over, but I do think it is definitely worth checking out and viewing around the holidays. And I do have to agree that I am as crazy about Christmas as Buddy.

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21) Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

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Dr. Seuss’ beloved book finds itself heading to the big screen with Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Jim Carrey plays the Grinch, the beloved grump who hates the Whos and hates Christmas. He terrorizes Whoville, and all are afraid of him. Except one girl, Cindy Lou Who. Cindy Lou is eager to find out all she can about the Grinch and why he is the way he is. She discovers his sad childhood and decides making him the Holiday Cheermister will repair everything. When her idea has disastrous results, the Grinch decides to head down to Whoville and steal Christmas.

Why it’s Great: Jim Carrey really is the only reason why the film is great. Like The Polar Express, it suffers from being stuffed with extra scenes, characters, and things not needed in order to fill the time block. And I absolutely hate the song “Where Are You Christmas?” But as I said, Jim Carrey is a great Grinch. His makeup is amazing, I mean look at him! He’s looks just like the illustration. The backstory of why he is mean loses ground, but the film really picks up once he starts stealing Christmas. I love how they illustrate the song and copy the scenes from the original film. It’s worth watching the film to see that scene. It may not be as great as the Boris Karloff version, but it is still a fun Christmas film.

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20) The Santa Clause 2 (2002)

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This is the sequel to The Santa Clause (see below #6). Eight years has passed since the original film and Scott Calvin, AKA Santa Claus, has just discovered that if he is to remain being Santa Claus he has to have a Mrs. Claus. Scott also discovers that Charlie has been having a lot of problems and and acting up. So the elves create a robot Santa to fill in for him, and Scott heads back home. He stays with his ex-wife’s family, trying to reach Charlie, and becoming an uncle figure to Charlie’s sister Lucy. When talking to Charlie’s principal he finds himself falling for her, but will she believe him and go with him back to the North Pole? Also, while Scott has been gone, his robo-Santa has become and evil dictator. Will Scott be able to stop him in time to save Christmas?

Why it’s Great: I like how this film deals with real issues. Charlie is having problems as he misses his father, has the stress of having to lie about his dad’s job, etc. I loved how realistic it was as this are issues a boy who’s father has to be away for his job would actually deal with. I also enjoy the scenes of Scott and Principal Carol Newman. There were real dates and actually showed them falling in love over a period of time, it wasn’t instantaneous. And the Principal’s reaction to “I’m Santa” talk was completely real. Some scenes are definitely cheesy and silly, but I have to say this is one of the better Disney sequels and one great film to watch at Christmas.

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19) The Toy That Saved Christmas (1996)

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So this film is part of the Veggietales series. Veggietales was a series of Christian films that lasted 30 mins and told two stories that were either a retelling of a bible story or had a strong biblical message. And all the characters were fruits and veggies! The Toy That Saved Christmas was the first Christmas Veggietale video and starts with a green onion, Grandpa George, telling his granddaughter Annie a Christmas story. In the Veggietown (or wherever they live), December is here which means CHRISTMAS!!! All the kids are excited. They see a commercial on TV for a new toy Buzz Saw Louie and everyone wants them. Besides having a saw, Louie talks and tells people that the true meaning of Christmas is getting stuff. This was planned by the toy factory owner as he wants to sell more toys. When more Louies are being made, something happens to one, and it comes to life. It starts to wonder if getting stuff is the true meaning of Christmas. Louie escapes from the factory and gets stuck in the snow. The next day Bob the tomato, Larry the cucumber, and Junior the asparagus all go sledding and come upon the toy. They also run into Grandpa George who tells them the true meaning of Christmas. After the hear the message they want to tell the world the good news? But how? They get the idea to use the factory owner’s equipment and make a commercial. Will their plan work? Will everyone get to know the true meaning of Christmas?

Why it’s Great: It is an incredibly funny and adorable film. This is one that my family has to watch every year. Besides the comedy, adventure, and fun it also has a lot of great songs. One of my favorites is Can’t Believe It’s Christmas! as it truly captures being a kid excited about the holiday. And then there is the hilarious silly song Oh Santa!If you don’t watch the film at least check out that song.

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18) Lady and the Tramp (1955)

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The classic story of a rich girl who meets a boy from the wrong side of the tracks with one major difference-dogs! Lady is a cocker spaniel is a Christmas gift to “Darling” by her husband Jim “Dear”. She grows up in the household, becoming a real “Lady”. Everything changes when Darling gets pregnant. With a baby coming Lady is unsure of what her life will be like. The baby comes and Lady realizes that she loves him as much as her other masters. Things seem to be great until Darling and Jim Dear have to go away on business. Jim Dear’s Aunt Sarah comes to watch the baby, and brings along her two siamese cats that cause problems for Lady, and gets her a muzzle. Lady embarrassed, scared, and confused; runs away and straight into a mutt, Tramp, from the other side of town. He not only frees her, but the two have a romantic dinner, a moonlit walk in the park, etc. However, when the Tramp gets Lady to chase chickens, she winds up being sent to the dog pound. There she hears all about Tramp’s sordid past. She is freed from the pound but chained up outside by Aunt Sarah. The Tramp visits to apologize, but Lady won’t hear anything. Then a rat tries to get into the nursery. Will Lady be able to save the baby? Will Lady and the Tramp get back together?

Why it’s Great: It is an old story that has been done before, but the choice of dogs is great. I love how the dog thinks Jim Dear and Darling are their real names as that is only what she hears, and there are also some great dogisms. The We Are Siamese song is really catchy and the pasta scene is just adorable. This film actually has two Christmases in it; one when Lady is first introduced, and the second at the end of the film. Making this a great film to see round the holidays or any time of the year.

For more on Lady and the Tramp, go to Part IX: Adventures in Movie Lines

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17) Chasing Christmas (2005)

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This abcFamily film, part of the 25 Days ’til Christmas countdown, tells the story of A Christmas Carol in a completely new way. Jack Cameron is a modern day Scrooge. He caught his wife with another man at his daughter’s Christmas play. Not only is the marriage over, but so is his love for Christmas and Christmas spirit. At the Bureau of Yuletide Affairs (BYA) the company is reviewing which holiday grumps need a little Dickens spirit. He assigns Christmas Past (Leslie Jordan) and Present (Andrea Roth) to take care of him. Past has started to become disgruntled with life. Every year it is the same thing over and over again. So he decides to do something about it. After taking Jack to his childhood in the ’60s he knocks him out and takes off. Present is then sent back to catch Past and help Jack find his Christmas spirit. As they travel through time Jack discovers a lot about himself and his family. When they reach the ’70s, they accidentally break their time machine and are desperate to find Past in order to get back to the future. Will they ever catch up to Christmas Past? Or are they doomed to stay in the ’70s? And more importantly, will  they be able to save Jack’s love of Christmas?

Why it’s Great: The twist on the classic is extremely hilarious, fun, and adorable. In fact, the film is almost a parody of all the films and TV episodes that rip of Dickens’ work. The characters are lovable as you have the sarcastic, unhappy, stick-in-a-rut Past that wants to relive the good times instead of just visiting. Then there is Jack, the average guy who gets pulled into this adventure and really starts having a great time.  Then there is Present, who knows nothing about the past and has to educated by Jack. This is actually pretty adorable, as it awakens his love for different things as he explains why they are important or special. A truly great film, loosely based on one great book.

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16) Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)

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The story of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer started out as a short poem, then transformed into the hit song, and ultimately (like everything) found its way into film. Rudolph is the son of Santa’s flying Reindeer Donner. Everyone bullies him and doesn’t want him around because he has a blinking, red nose. Rudolph ends up not being able to deal with it and runs away, hoping to find a place for misfits. As he heads out, he runs into an elf named Hermy. Hermy is also a misfit as he doesn’t want to make toys, sing carols, or other elf-y things; he wants to be a dentist. As the two journey out they run into a miner named Yukon Cornelius, hunting for silver and gold, who joins up with them. They have to fight the Abominable Snow Monster, when running from him they hitch a ride on ice and end up on the Island of Misfit Toys. Rudolph, conscious that his nose almost got them attacked by Abominable, he takes off on his own. He later returns home to find that his family has been captured by the Abominable Snow Monster while searching for him. It’s up to the team to save them from the monster. Everything seems like it is going to be a great Christmas until the fog rolls in and Santa won’t be able to see where he is flying. That is until Rudolph steps up to the plate.

Why it’s Great: My earliest memory of this cartoon was when I was three years old. My family was visiting my aunt’s house, and being kids, us cousins were running around everywhere. I ran smack into my cousin Sean, and began bawling. I was bruised, so I did have a reason to be sad, but I wouldn’t stop crying. I kept going and going, until my mom told me that I could watch Rudolph if I stopped crying. I stopped immediately. My favorite character as a kid actually wasn’t Rudolph. I loved Yukon as I thought he was hilarious and I loved Hermy as I too wanted to be a dentist (which everyone thought was weird). Watching it as an adult, I still love it. Happy Anniversary Rudolph! Here’s to another 50 years!

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15) Winnie the Pooh and Christmas Too (1991)

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It’s Christmas time at the Hundred Acre Woods and Christopher Robin is writing a letter to Santa Claus. As he is finishing the letter, asking for a sled big enough for him and a friend, he asks each one of his friends what they want for Christmas. Rabbit needs a new fly swatter; Tigger a snowshoe for his tail; Eeyore an umbrella to keep snow off his house; and Piglet asks for whatever Santa wants to give him. Christopher Robin sends his letter off into the wind and to Santa. The next day, Christmas Eve, Winnie-the-Pooh is drawing his Christmas tree on the wall when Piglet comes in and tells him that Pooh forgot to ask Santa for something. They chase after the letter, find it, and take it to Rabbit’s house to add on Pooh’s request for honey. As they are doing that everyone asks for an upgraded present: Rabbit a super bug sprayer, Tigger a special bouncing boot, and Eeyore a mobile home. They send the letter out, but when Pooh gets home a southern wind has sent the letter the same way. Pooh and Piglet don’t want Christmas ruined so they set out to fix everything. They try to create the gifts asked, suit up, and head out. Will their homemade gifts work? Will Christmas be ruined? Or will everything turn out just right?

Why it’s Great: First of all it’s Winnie-the-Pooh. Secondly, the story is amazingly sweet. Once Pooh realizes that Christmas might be ruined, he tries to do everything in his power to make it right. A great story of friendship, love, and Christmas!

For more on Winnie the Pooh, go to Heartbreak Hotel

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14) Christmas Every Day (1996)

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Billy hates Christmas! For him it is always the worst day of the year and this one is no different. It starts off with him tripping, his uncle coming to visit and crashing into the garage, the pies burn, he misses his basketball shot, he loses the jellybean thousand dollar contest, messes up the Christmas pageant, and gets socked in the eye. To top it off, his uncle is bringing his monster conglomerate store, Value Mart to town, and will be putting all the smaller businesses, (including his dad’s store) out of business. Billy sarcastically wishes it was Christmas everyday, and gets his wish granted. At first he is in denial, then he makes it the most selfish Christmas, then tries to make it the most unselfish Christmas, but still remains stuck in the day. After he has been going through all those days, he finally stops thinking about himself, but tries to make it the best Christmas for his friends and family. Will it be the best? Will he finally get to December 26th? Will he be able to stop his uncle from bringing in his Value Mart?

Why it’s Great: My sister and I loved this movie so much. We would watch it every year on the 25 Days ’til Christmas until they stopped showing it. I just rewatched it a week ago and love it as much now as I did then. I thought Billy was pretty realistic in how he dealt with being stuck in Christmas, sort of the preteen version of Bill Murray in Groundhog’s Day. He gets over his Christmas hate much quicker than in Groundhog’s Day, but he is a kid and hasn’t been jaded as long. The best part, of course, is the fact how Billy learns from his past mistakes, and ultimately does create the best Christmas for himself and everyone.

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13) Batman Returns (1992)

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The Joker may be gone, but Batman is back to the big screen in his film Batman Returns. It’s Christmas time in Gotham, but even though it is supposed to be a time of good cheer, crime still abounds in the city. Oswald Cobblepot (Danny DeVito), who as a baby was thrown down the sewers by his rich parents because of his deformity only to be saved and raised by penguins, has returned 33 years later as the Penguin and leader of the Red Triangle Circus Gang. He kidnaps businessman, Max Shreck (played by Christopher Walken) and blackmails him about his dirty business dealings into making the Penguin a citizen of Gotham. Shreck agrees and promises to do even better, promising to make the Penguin mayor. Shreck has some plans he wants to put in motion, but knows the current mayor would not approve. Unfortunately, Shreck’s secretary, meek Selina Kyle (Michelle Pfeiffer) has discovered them. Shreck does the only thing he thinks he can do, he kills her by throwing her out the window. Unbeknownst to him, Selina is revived by nine cats and granted “9 lives.” She goes home having fully transformed in her personality, creating a black leather outfit, and becoming Catwoman. She returns to work for Shreck, planning on destroying him when he least expects it, and runs into Bruce Wayne. The two begin dating, while at night their alter egos begin fighting. The penguin and Catwoman team up to destroy Batman. They sully his reputation, but Batman is able to outwit the Penguin and disgrace him. Upset, the Penguin renounces humanity and kidnaps the first sons of all the wealthy families of Gotham during Shreck’s annual Christmas party. Bruce takes Selina as his date to the party and the two discover that they are Batman and Catwoman. What does this mean to their relationship? Will Batman be able to stop the Penguin? Will Catwoman get her revenge?

Why it’s Great: So Christmas does play a role in this film as a little more than a backdrop. There is a line about mistletoe that is the key in discovering each other’s identities. When Batman and Catwoman are fighting the first time Batman says, “You know, mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.” In which Catwoman replies, “But a kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it.” When Bruce and Selina are at the party, Selina tells Bruce ,“You know, mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.” In which Bruce replies, “But a kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it.” But that’s not the reason why I like this film. First of all Michael Keaton has to be my favorite Batman, he just gets the stoic and serious, along with debonair and slightly fun side correct. I mean out of all the actors I think he captured the duality of Batman’s character the most. Then we have Michelle Pfeiffer who has been the best Catwoman to date. Morally ambiguous, vengeful, focused on her goals, but still having a heart of gold. No one could have played her better. Plus Christopher Walken as the bad guy? Perfect. The only thing I don’t like is that the Penguin was much sillier than I would have had him be. Danny DeVito did a great job and he looked great, but a lot of his lines and obsession with birds of all kinds were just a bit too silly. Otherwise, this is one great film to watch anytime.

For more on Batman Returns, go to Fanning All Over the Place

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12) The Year Without a Santa Claus (1975)

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Santa Claus is sick and tired, and has decided that he does not want to do Christmas anymore. After all, no one believes in him anymore. Mrs. Claus is determined to prove Santa wrong and sends out two elves, Jingle and Jangle. The two get into some scrapes and end up in Southtown, USA. Their mistakes cause Santa to come down and try and help out. The two elves and a small Southtown boy, Ignatius, end up getting the Mayor to agree to giving Santa a holiday, only if it snows in Southtown. The chance of that happening, -100%. The elves go to Snow Miser, but he it isn’t his territory and he can’t do it unless his stepbrother Heat Miser agrees. Heat Miser will only let them, IF he gets the North Pole. Something that Snow Miser will never give up. Will they be able to get the two to compromise? Will Santa get his holiday? Will we have a year without Santa Claus?

Why it’s Great: This is a cute film that tries to revitalize the Christmas spirit. It has some great numbers like the Miser Brothers’ SongI Believe in Santa Claus, I’ll Have a Blue Christmas, and Here Comes Santa Claus. A cute film that old and young will love.

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11) The First Christmas: The Story of the First Christmas Snow (1975)

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In The First Christmas: The Story of the First Christmas Snow, Lucas a shepherd boy is blinded by lightening. Nearby is the nunnery, who takes in the orphan boy. He befriends a girl Lisa, who helps him. Sister Theresa, one of the nuns, takes care of Lucas, even describing the snow that wishes would come. Lucas is chosen to be an angel in the play, and as it starts snowing, a Christmas miracle occurs. The snow falls in Lucas’ eyes and grant him back his sight. He remains with the nuns and the priest, finally having a family.

Why it’s Great: This is a cute and cuddly Christmas film with great songs. You’ll enjoy this half hour production, along with their version of White Christmas and The First White Christmas. It is a great addition to your Christmas lineup.

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10) Borrowed Hearts (1997)

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Sam Field is a millionaire who is trying to negotiate the biggest deal of his life with Javier Del Campo. The only problem, Del Campo only likes to do business with family-orientated people, and Sam is a confirmed bachelor. He hires a family to pretend to be his, but that doesn’t work out very well, and he is unsure of what to do. Enter Kathleen, single mother and worker at Sam’s plant. She is trying to save up money to buy a house, but so far does not have as much as she needs. A chance meeting, winds up with Kathleen and her daughter Zooey pretending to be his family for a few days, which expands into weeks as Del Campo wants to spend Christmas with the Fields. As they spend more time together; Sam, Kathleen, and Zooey all learn more about family and learning to love again.

Why it’s Great: I love this film sooooo much. It’s one of my all-time favorite Christmas movies. I will not go to far into it, as I have written a separate blog post on it that you should check out.

For more on Borrowed Hearts, go to On the 9th Day ‘Til Christmas: Borrowed Hearts (1997)

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9) Rise of the Guardians (2012)

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In Rise of the Guardians, Jack Frost (played by Chris Pine), is created in the depths of a pond and suffers from amnesia. He doesn’t know how or why he was created, but just goes around having fun. One day Santa Claus (Alec Baldwin) discovers that the Boogeyman Pitch, has returned and notifies the other Guardians: Tooth Fairy (Isla Fisher), Australian Easter Bunny (Hugh Jackman) and the Sandman. They learn that their creator, the Man in the Moon, has chosen Jack Frost to join them as a Guardian of Children. Pitch goes about trying to destroy the children’s beliefs in these characters, and attacks the Tooth Fairy’s home, stealing her helpers. The other Guardians pitch in to help her out, doing the same for the Easter Bunny. Will they be able to defeat the Pitch? Will Jack finally learn who he is and why he was chosen? Will they secure the children’s belief in Jack Frost, Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and the Sandman?

Why it’s Great: When the film first came out, I thought it would be really dumb, but then I saw it and loved it. It is funny, cute, sweet, everything you’d want in a family film. The characters are amazing and just perfect as they bring your childhood to life. I just love this film and could watch it over and over.

For more on Rise of the Guardians, go to Dreaming of the Sandman 

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8) Swiss Family Robinson (1960)

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It tells the story of the Robinson family, (they are Swiss), who are traveling to New Guniea but end up getting stuck in a storm, abandoned, and stranded on their broken ship. They pack up every bit of supplies they can and travel to the nearest place, a little island. The family consists of the father, mother, and three boys; Fritz (my fav the cute one), Ernst (the smart one), and Francis (the baby). The family creates a tree house and lives on the island going through many adventures; dealing with wild animals, saving a young teen, fighting pirates, etc.

Why it’s Great: This was a favorite of mine as a kid, although more beloved by my sister than me. It has everything you could want: action, adventure, pirates, etc. Plus, like Supernatural, you have your pick of which brother to chose from. Do you like a brawny man of action? Or are you more interested in a thinker and planner? And let’s not forget their amazing treehouse. I wanted one like it so bad growing up. It used to be in Disneyland, but they replaced it with Tarzan. And yes, this film does have Christmas in it. The Robinson family has sent out Ernst and Fritz to explore the island, and are sad that they won’t all be together for Christmas. The boys surprise them with a zebra for Francis, and a rescued hostage. It is classic Disney at its best, and a worthwhile checkout any time of the year.

For more on the Swiss Family Robinson, go to Snakes on a Post: Chinese New Year

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7) Jingle All the Way

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Howard Langston (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a workaholic. His wife and child are very upset with him, and the only way he can get back in their good graces is to pick up a Turbo-Man doll. Only problem is, EVERYONE wants one and EVERYONE is sold out. This causes him to go on one crazy adventure involving a faux toy factory, a postal postman, a mall doing a Hunger Games to sell off their remaining doll, battling a reindeer, storming a radio station, bombs, fistfights, etc. Howard even goes as far as replacing Turbo-Man in the Christmas parade in order to try to get a doll. Will he be able to do it? Will his family be reunited for Christmas?

Why it’s Great:  This movie is so freakin’ hilarious. I just love it so much. All the crazy things that happen to Howard as he tries to achieve success in his quest to get the doll. And that end fight scene is just great. A true holiday classic that I watch every year I can.

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6) The Santa Clause

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Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) is a self-absorbed and selfish toy designer. This Christmas Eve he gets to have his son spend the holiday with him, while his ex-wife and her husband celebrate elsewhere. Of course he is not only extremely late (too much partying at the office), but he burns their Christmas Eve dinner. Things are not going as planned. That night Charlie hears something, and the two go out to investigate, surprising Santa and causing him to fall off the roof! Scott puts on the suit, and the two go out to deliver the gifts. After the deed is done, Scott discovers that when he put on the suit he entered a clause, that is a decree, making him the new Santa. He doesn’t believe it, but as the year passes, his body starts to become more Santa-like. Will he have enough faith to become Santa? Will he be able to change his ways so he can be more like Santa?

Why it’s Great: Like Borrowed Hearts I have done a post on this, so I’m not going to talk too much aout it. It is a truly hilarious movie with some truly memorable lines and scenes. I love this movie so much that I don’t even always wait for Christmas to watch it. Defintely worth seeing again and again.

For more on The Santa Clause, go to On the 11 Day ‘Til Christmas: The Santa Clause (1994)

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4) Christmas With the Kranks (2004)

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Based on the John Grisham novel, Christmas with the Kranks shows how one can never truly skip Christmas. After Luther (Tim Allen) and Nora Krank (Jamie Lee Curtis) discover that their beloved daughter Blair won’t be coming home for Christmas, they decide to forget it entirely. No decorations, no Christmas cards, no Christmas party, no Christmas tree, zip. Instead, the two will go on a lovely cruise. It starts out a great plan, until they start getting upsetting calls from the neighbors who want to win the best decorated street contest; tickets from policemen who are used to them buying multiple calendars, charities who expect their yearly donation, etc. As they are getting ready to go on Christmas Eve, they get a call from Blair who is surprising them by flying home-with a fiancé. They have to rely on their neighbors for help in making this the greatest Christmas ever.

Why it’s Great: I just realized that this is the third Tim Allen movie on this list. Guess it was a good thing I decided to save Toy Story for another time, or else there would be four. Anyways this is just a hilarious film, from beginning to end. Grisham is a true master and the actors really bring his work to life. This is a truly great addition to you Christmas lineup as it is funny, heartwarming, and covers the true meaning of Christmas.

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3) Goodfellas (1990)

Goodfellas

A film based on the real life of gangster turned FBI witness, Henry Hill. Half-Italian, half-Irish; Henry Hill (Ray Liotta) has always wanted to be a gangster. He is taken under the wing of mob-boss Paul “Paulie” Cicero, to work under James “Jimmy the Gent” Conway (Robert De Niro) alongside Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci). The trio hijack cars, commit insurance fraud, and the famous 1967 Air France Robbery. They spend most of their time at the Copacabana, hanging out with women. Hill meets Karen, Jewish and upper class, and the two eventually marry. At first Karen is alarmed at Hill’s lifestyle, but eventually becomes enamored with the perks. They continue to live the criminal lifestyle, ultimately having to serve a stint in prison. There Hill discovers how “real” money can be made in drugs, and his life starts to take some real twists and turns.

Why it’s Great: Now this film isn’t for everyone, but if you are a fan of the gangster genre then you need to check this out. It covers the life of Hill pretty accurately, and of course the actors they chose are just amazing-De Niro, Liotta, & Pesci. In fact if this wasn’t a Christmas list countdown, I probably would have it even higher. And for the Christmas part of the film, well this is no Christmas film but the holiday does play into a crucial part of the film. My friends and I used to have “gangster film and spaghetti” parties, with this one always being one of the main courses.

For more on Goodfellas, go to Sucky Sequels: Mean Girls 2 (2011)

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2) Home Alone (1990)

HomeAlone

Kevin McCallister’s whole family is getting ready to fly to Paris for Christmas, spending the holidays with his uncle and aunt. The night before they leave, Kevin is punished (unfairly) to sleep up in the attic by himself, where he makes a wish that his family would just disappear. When a tree limb crashes on the powerline, the McCallister’s find themselves waking up late and rushing out the door to the airport, in order to catch their plane. And…completely forgetting Kevin. At first being home alone is just fun and games, but when two robbers try to get into his house, Kevin finds himself defending it, in very imaginative ways.

Why it’s Great: This movie became so popular, almost every family pic after it tried to recreate it’s success. It is funny, memorable, and the scenes where Kevin is just wolfing down junk food was every kid’s dream. It is one fantastic movie, great for Christmas or anytime you want a laugh.

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1) Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town (1970)

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In Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town, postman Special Delivery Klugman (Fred Astaire) is prepared to answer all questions about Santa Claus. In Sombertown, the Burgermeister Meisterburger discovers a baby on his doorstep, with a tag saying Claus. He sends one of his stooges to take the baby to the orphanage, but a wind blows the baby away. The forest creatures take the baby to the elf family Kringle, where he is raised as one of their own, Kris Kringle. The Kringles used to be toymakers for the King, but an evil man, the Winter Warlock, keeps them from continuing this tradition. Kris resolves that when he is old enough, he will brave the forest and Warlock, in order to give their toys to the children in the nearby town. He manages to slip the Warlock and heads to the town. Unbeknownst to Kris, toys are outlawed in Sombertown. He meets the school teacher, Jessica, and convinces them all to take toys. Kris almost gets arrested, but runs away, only to be captured by the Winter Warlock. When he gives the Warlock a gift, it melts his icy heart and removes his evil. Winter Warlock teaches Kris a few tricks, like magic snowballs that allow you to watch anyone. Kris keeps coming back and giving more toys, first handing them out to kids, then leaving them at night, lastly putting them in the children’s stockings. The Burgermeister Meisterburger lays a trap and catches Kris. In order to free him, Jessica gets the Winter Warlock to give reindeer his flying corn, and thus Kris’ eight flying reindeer were born. Jessica and Kris get married and move to the North Pole, Kris reverting to his given name of Claus.

Why it’s Great: This film is absolutely adorable and Christmas is never the same without at least one viewing of this film.

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Merry Christmas All!

ChristmasfromJaneAusten

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For more on Christmas, go to O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

For more on Christmas movies, go to 25 Films of Christmas

For more quizzes, go to Simply Fantastic

For more of my favorite quotes, go to Dreaming of the Sandman

Sucky Sequels: Mean Girls 2 (2011)

So the other day I had just come home from the store and was dead tired from walking there and back; along with carrying my groceries.

I had work in little over an hour so I decided to surf the channels until I found something good. Of course it was one of those days where nothing is on.

Then I saw something with Meaghan Jette Martin in it. I was intrigued as I only knew Meaghan from the completely sucky TV series  10 Things I Hate About You(The show was so awful! They ruined the movie! I could write a huge post on everything wrong with that show, but I’ll save that for another time. To read more on what I think of the actual film, click  here.)

axe-murderer

The film was Mean Girls 2 which sucked so bad. I mean the original film was awesome as it was so real at how it expressed how girls are in high school. Every girl could relate to it! Everyone could relate to it! I loved it! Why must they constantly remake or create sucky sequels of great films?

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I was just about to flip the channel and try to find something else when who should walk across the screen and change everything?

The Very Handsome…The Very HOT…The Very Talented…

Rock Of Ages - European Film Premiere

Diego Boneta!!!

I love this guy! Ever since his guest role in Pretty Little Liars and Drew in Rock of Ages! I couldn’t believe he was in this movie! I mean he deserves so much better. But now that I saw him in there I couldn’t stop watching. I mean look at this guy how could you say no?

Can't look away from his gorgeousness.

Can’t look away from his gorgeousness.

So the film was very dumb and predictable. The main girl, Jo, bands with the “losers” to take down the head girls. Problems arise as the secret Jo has been hiding is found out and she loses her friends; her love interest, and her power. In the end everything works out and everyone gets back together.

Blah, blah

Besides  sucking because of its predictability, it had HUGE plot holes and many, many, many things wrong with it! How did the writers and producers pass this on through?

What the heck is that?

1) North Shore High in Ohio

Why are they in Ohio? They weren’t in Ohio in the first film. I thought they were in California. So now why place them in Ohio? Do they feel that having it in Ohio makes it more racecar friendly as that is the job her dad has? And if it is a different school from the first one, why have the same principle? Does he just like to oversee schools named North Shore? Since the plot was nowhere near the first film, and in a completely different area; why even use the same actor to be the principle and use the same name? Don’t establish links of continuity if there is none!

2) People would not think Jo was the hottest girl ever because she is new

Contrary to cinema belief, when a girl moves to a new school, people don’t think she’s automatically hot. New does not equal hot. It’s more on par with John Tucker Must Die as people don’t know the new girl and don’t care to. I mean in this film they treat her as if she is Aphrodite gracing Earth with a visit.

LOL another 10 Things I Hate About You reference

LOL another 10 Things I Hate About You reference

Now I am not saying that this is what a personally believe, nor am I saying that this is what people should assume; what I am saying is that if a girl dressed grungy, took shop class, knew how to work on cars, made feminist remarks, knew all about sports, almost breaks a guy’s arm for touching her, and doesn’t wear a bra all the time; most people would assume she was a man-hating feminist; also decreasing her hotness factor with most of the guys in the school to 0. And therefore Jo would be friendzoned for life.

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3) NO dogs in school

Okay dogs are not allowed in school. My friend trained guide dogs and brought the pup into school until it graduated and the teachers plus the principle always hated it. Principal Miller had a cow the day that one of the yellow labs pooped in the outside hallway. I remember our English teacher Ms. Martyn hated the dogs. She was always complaining about tripping over it and “play” threatening to get rid of it. One year the dog’s name was Mackenzie, Ms. Martyn’s first name and she would become upset whenever someone would call the dog.

Anyways, yeah dogs are not allowed in school. City ordinances state that domestic animals are not allowed in public education places.

 

Better Schooch your Pooch

Better Scooch your Pooch

4) Dating the School “Hottie” to get a modeling career

So Mandi is dating the school “Hottie”, I put it in quotations because he is clearly a nottie. Tyler (Diego Boneta) is the hottest, but as we have just been told that he and Mandi are siblings that means he is off limits. Anyways, Mandi’s convoluted plan is to date this immature jerk, Nick, so that when he gets his football scholarship to UCLA she can visit him and become a model.

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Mandi’s supposed to be rich and the prettiest girl around. Why doesn’t she just have her parents pay for a portfolio, model there in Ohio and then move out to California. I’m pretty positive that there are many modeling agencies in Ohio.  Oh look there are! And why California over New York? New York is closer to Ohio than California and it has been the fashion capital of the United States for a lot longer. LA will always be second.

I mean it makes sense that she would date the school “hottie” to keep her position of power, but for a modeling career? That just seems weird. And why even go to CA just to visit him? If she wants to be a model that bad, why not just move out there on her own? Why does she need him to be a model? That doesn’t make any sense at all.

5) Guess what…we’re poor

So Jo has always wanted to go to Carniege Mellon since that is where her mom went. Unfortunately, dear old dad lost all the money they had and they can’t afford to send her there, she’ll have to apply to in-state. Now I may be wrong here, but Jo made it sound as if her dad had all the money tucked away set on her tuition. Tuition for Carniege Mellon in 2011 when this film came out was $44,450, (that’s just tuition alone). That means it was $177,800 (before tuition increased) for four years. How did the dad lose all that money? You think that even if he was playing the stock market, like the film uses as an explanation for lack of funds, he would still have been plugging some away. You don’t just put money on stocks and hope that sixteen years later you would have over $177,800. I mean he should have at least most of the first year squirreled away. I mean she is an only child and it seems like he was always planning on sending her to college. And with Jo applying to financial aid she should get some support. The next year she would have completed a year’s residency and can apply for in-state tuition.

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It would be more believable if her dad lost it gambling or due to a past addiction; but I think this was on abcfamily so they wouldn’t have that.

6) French Revolution Meltdown

So we hear of why the Queen Bee Mandi hates super nice girl Abby. Back in middle school Mandi had a French Revolution party and Abby outshone her in a Marie Antoinette oufit.

First of all what 11-year old has a French Revolution themed Halloween party? What kid (besides me and other nerds) even knew about the French Revolution? (I had read he children’s version of A Tale of Two Cities already and the Marie Antoinette Diary from the Royal Diary Series.)  What popular kid who is not into school or history would do that? And what kid would ever do that for a Halloween party? Not much imagination allowed for costumes. Usually you do “At the Movies”, “Disney”, “Monster Films”or a “Decade” party. But hey, I guess it makes buying the food easy, as you can serve them nothing. That would get those kids really into the spirit. It would make more sense for her to have a Phantom of the Opera party as the film just came out. The Marie Antoinette film which would have sparked interest in the French Revolution wouldn’t be coming out for another two years.

And why would someone throwing a French Revolution party, and not dress up as Marie Antoinette? It’s her party of course she is going to be Queen, especially if she is Queen Bee of the school. No way would the host dress up as a peasant girl.AdrianBoothroyd_998696c

And on that note, what parent would dare send their child to someone else’s party dressed up as the Queen? That is just rude and distasteful. Dear Abby would disapprove! You know, at this point I can’t say I blame Mandi for hating Abby, I would have been pissed too.

Is this too crazy?

Oh look Abby, you’re up.

7) I Want the Disabled Spot!!!

Okay so Mandi gets a boot up her butt because she has the number two spot, the number one is the disabled parking, which Abby ends up snagging. Come on now, no one would be jealous over that. Besides, Mandi would hate to wear a walking cast, as it would clash with all her outfits. Not buying it.

8) Pimping Out Your Friends…That’s Real Friendship

So Mandi enlists the help of school web designer and nerd Elliot in order to embarrass Abby. In fact to make sure he does it, she pimps out her friend Chastity. The only problem with this is that she never had to pimp out her friend in the first place. Mandi asks Elliot for a favor and he agrees right away. Then she sics Chastity on him to make sure he does it. But if he already agreed than why do that? Why pay for something when you can get it for free? That makes no sense at all!

9) “Most Girls Would Have Laughed, Texted, or Posted a Status Update”

Okay writers I don’t know what Hell you’ve been having Tyler live in, (oh wait that’s right Mandi’s house), but every girl he knows would have reacted that way? I find that a bit odd that Jo is the first girl he’s ever met that would actually show compassion. Seriously? Even if he has been sequestered in a home with a she-devil, I do expect him to go outside sometime and if he did he should meet way more than one girl who would not have been cruel to others for laughs. As a delegate of my sex I take it upon myself to be the one to teach Diego, uh I mean Tyler, that there are caring and compassionate women in this world. 😉

It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it.

It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it.

10) Guns in School? Is this Writer on Crack?

So embarrassing Abby by spilling beans and sour cream on her, taking a pic, uploading that to the school website and texting it out to everyone wasn’t good enough for Mandi. She had a guy paintball Abby’s car! PAINTBALL!

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How the heck did they get a paintball gun in the school? Man the security guards, the principal, the cops, SWAT team would be all over this thing.

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And why on Earth would the black kid be the one doing it. Hello! Abby’s parents are super rich, and Mandi is not going to stick up for you! There is no way that this black guy would have been doing the shooting.

And lets get back to the gun issue. How the heck do you get a paintball gun in school, and why are there no cops crawling all over or taking you down? Paintball guns are not that quiet, a teacher would have heard and seen you and called 9-1-1. I mean a 7 year old got suspended for bringing a water gun to school, an Ohio first grader got suspended for bringing an airsoft gun to school (maybe it happens in Ohio more than I thought), oh and looky here Kansas student expelled for bringing a paintball gun to school. I mean after the Columbine shootings and Virgina Tech, schools don’t mess around. This kid would have been taken down or shot.

The Steve Sloan tackle

The Steve Sloan tackle

11) “It Wasn’t an Accident, Just Some Girls at School”

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This is more than just teasing, this is serious assault. They hired a guy to shoot up Abby’s car with a paintball gun. That’s messed up, that requires notifying the parents, that means taking action. Don’t  pull a Baby-sitter’s club and try and handle this problem all on your own.

12) Prostitution…I Mean Escorting or Supplying a Service

So Abby’s Billy Mays-esque father offers to pay Jo to be Abby’s best friend. When Jo declines, stating that this is wrong; he offers to pay her college tuition.

He looks devilish and creepy here. Definitely wouldn't want to be in a room alone with him.

He looks devilish and creepy here. Definitely wouldn’t want to be in a room alone with him.

Okay, I don’t care how much anyone wants their kid to have friends, there is no way he is paying $177,800 to some kid he doesn’t even know. If he is such a smart businessman, he could hire an actor and have them fake be enrolled in the school. I mean a guy who is always has a wad of bills on hand and “has more money than he can spend” would make that happen in a second.

And why would he pay her in cash? That seems really weird and under the table. I would think he was secretly in  the mafia or a drug lord. The Kingpin, Henry Hills, etc.

If I was Jo I would ask the dad to create a scholarship (in which I would be the one already set up to win) that I would apply to. Therefore causing me to not feel like a prostitute, and Abby would never find out that I was being paid to be her friend. (Which you know is going to happen, these films always follow a pattern.)

I wonder what her dad would say once he saw the money. I mean you could pull a 21 and tuck it away, but it is probably safer in a bank. But how would you explain were you got the dough from. Can’t say a casino as she isn’t 21 yet. If she tried to pay her tuition in cash the IRS would swoop on ’em. Problems galore.

13) B.A. Biker Chick?

Helloooooo she rides a Vespa! A frickin’ Vespa!! I don’t know what B.A. may be in Ohio but here in CA I have never heard people who ride Vespas called B.A. And Biker chick? Bikers would eat her for breakfast. I’m sure the Hell’s Angels would kill Mandi for even supposing that Vespa riding Jo is in the same level as them.

Ray Liotta would take Mandi, Jo, and the rest of the crew out just like in Wild Hogs. 

14) Paparazzi? Really TMZ Wannabe has that much time?

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I don’t care how popular, how cool, or how much of a Queen Bee she is; there is no way that this girl is going to approach her every morning for a quote on something to place in her paper.

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15) Mandi is a Sociopath

Clearly we have seen that Mandi has some issues, but she is also a raging sociopath. She is attractive and always decked out, she believes herself to be best, has no respect for rules and responsibilities (I think bringing a dog to school and hiring someone to shoot up a girl’s car clearly answers this as check), she is a pathological liar, she is a parasite that feeds on you, comes from a broken family, and she does you wrong “because you asked for it”. Not only does she fit those traits but has exhibited cruelty to animals (threw her dog in the trash), hired someone to assault a girl’s car with a gun (symbolizing what she wants to do to the girl in real life), gave someone with an allergy to strawberries the fruit that could kill her; clearly someone needs to turn her in before she becomes the next Patrick Bateman.

Patrick Bateman: I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

Patrick Bateman: I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don’t know why. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

Further proof: Later she pimps out Chastity to get Jo’s file and has Hope stalk Jo. This girl needs help, pronto. And her friends need to find someone saner to hangout with.

16) Random Tyler Moment

Okay not that I’m complaining that we get a look at Diego Boneta, but this is just strange. Jo’s walking down the hallway and we see Tyler behind her about to approach her, but never does. Like what the heck writers! Is he too scared to ask her out? Did he get waylaid by a friend? Like why place him in a scene if he’s not going to do anything? Did you think we would forget about him?

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As if we could ever forget him.

17) Crushed Drink in Anger, Yet no Spills

Seriously?

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First of all it would be really hard to just crush it like that, but even more so not to spill on herself. The drink would have gone flying all over her, and she would have been full of stains. Just saying.

18) Not Breaking but Entering

Screen shot 2013-04-14 at 12.19.02 AMSo Mandi and the crew just run into the Mitchell’s garage in hopes of finding a way to embarrass Jo. Now, maybe this is just me, but wouldn’t you have locked your garage if you aren’t outside? Especially if you have an expensive racecar in it? Now I know that both Jo and her dad are home but that thing must have cost a fortune. Cars can be $1-3 million per team and engines alone can cause up to $8 million. If it were me, I’d be keeping that baby locked up tight.

19) Sticky Situation

So Mandi & Co decide that to really embarrass Jo and get her to march to their tune; they will put industrial glue on her vespa causing her to get stuck. The only problem is, it should have lost it’s stickiness long before then. Jo meets up with Abby around 3:00, went to the auto parts store and probably got home around 4:00-4:30. Abby went home about 4:30-5:20 when the girls showed up. They douse her Vespa with glue about 5:30-6. Now judging by most schools, she has class at 8 which means that she will be leaving anywhere from 7-7:30 So that glue that has been on the chair has been aired out for over 12 hours, it should be very dry now and not sticky. And wouldn’t Jo have noticed when she fixed up her Vespa?  I mean most industrial glue stinks. There is no way that the glue would be working by the time Jo place her rump on the  bike.

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20) Riding Vespa through the School

Screen shot 2013-04-14 at 12.39.21 AMAll I could think of when watching this is how much trouble she would get in. And you notice they always do something like this in movies, but it would never work in real life. There are too many people in the halls for you to get around or make wide enough turns. Plus how would she get it through the bathroom door? They always open out. The principal would be on her case, she’d probably be expelled, yeah muy mal.

21) Art Smock Skirt

Seriously? The art smock is just going to magically stay on her without any safety pins, ties, or buttons; and still look good? Yeah right! This is what Abby hands her.

funny_artist_art_smock_art_painting_apron-r3ff7dd4bc34e43dfa1d0dadfb63ae0a6_v9wtf_8byvr_512There is no way you are turning this into an actual skirt. I know, I’ve tried. I had a barbie shirt that was red and white, and really wanted a red skirt to go with it. Barbie didn’t have a red skirt, but she had a red apron. I tried to make a skirt, but a portion of Barbie’s hiney was always showing. You can’t do it by tying. I’m actually going to try myself to see if it works. I’ll let you know.

Yep tried it. Doesn’t work.

22) Golden Gate Bridge

Jo is telling Abby about some her favorite buildings and is super surprised Abby has heard of the Golden Gate Bridge. Hellooo, maybe my California is showing but I would think that most people in the US have heard of the Golden Gate Bridge. After all it is one of the seven man made wonders of the U.S. Jo you need to crawl out from under that rock you have been living in and get in the real world.

23) Grounds for Termination

So Jo is pretending to be Abby’s friend because Abby’s dad is paying her. Then Abby offers to draw buildings for Jo since she sucks as an artist but wants to be an architect, (wow-I hope you are good at math). Abby tells Jo not to tell Abby’s father because he doesn’t approve.

hold-up-wait-a-minute-let-me-put-some-pimpin-in-itI don’t know about you all, but this just screams BAD IDEA. Her dad isn’t going to be too happy to hear that you are encouraging something he disapproves of. If he finds out he will probably out you and fire you.

24) I’m Applying to Columbia…Just Kidding it’s really NYU

Uh, hello Abby but unless you are planning on paying for college yourself, your dad is going to figure out that you are going to NYU and not Columbia. In fact I don’t know how you even imagined getting that past him.

Ugh, and I hate these storylines. Oh no-poor little rich girl who has a ton of money and could go to any college anywhere-but shoot, Dad won’t support my artistic dreams.

Ugh!

I also feel the whole wealthy kid wanting to go to art school and dad not approving, and therefore the girl having to use her skills to make it on her own is a little too much of a ripoff of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, primarily the third book Girls in Pants. The same thing happens to Lena. I don’t understand how these rich kids can always get money and win scholarships, but here I am someone who’s parents can’t afford college and never seems to get the breaks. Oh yeah, that’s right, these are works of fiction and I’m in the real world. Seriously though, please STOP these storylines.

25) Jo’s Daydream/Memory (Not too sure which it is)

Actually there is nothing wrong with this scene. This was the best part of the film, (the only part). I just felt like including it. 😉

26) The Big Egg Drop Project

So in order to be one of the finalist for this architecture scholarship, Jo has to pass this egg drop project that is extremely hard. Now I’ve had to do this in my physics class, it is not that hard so don’t understand the big deal. In my class we had to create a basket made of paper and drop a raw egg in it. If the egg didn’t crack, we’d go on to the next level were we would have to drop an egg from a higher point. I remember just throwing a bunch of paper together and testing it out by tossing Dum Dums in it. Got it completed in less than 20 mins. Now they are having to make a parachute, but seriously why this be the big project? I was expecting something more like the projects they do in Ren’s woodshop class in Even Stevens. The one where she has makes a stool. I mean come on, the writers could have come up with something better.

27)Borrowed Car

I get that Nick has a nice car, and hey it would impress practically any girl but why doesn’t Tyler have his own sweet ride? Mandi has a cool car and she is only his stepsister, why isn’t his father buying his son a set of wheels?

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I mean in Pretty Little Liars when he was the “poor kid” dating rich Spencer he had an amazing set of wheels. Why doesn’t he have any when he is a rich kid?

I love Mustangs!

I love Mustangs!

It is true that we aren’t supposed to know that Mandi and Tyler are stepsibs yet, but still how come he doesn’t have a hot ride?

And granted, his friend could have a better car than him, but if he is planning on making out with Jo that night, wouldn’t it be strange to do it in your friends car? I mean I think that is sooo weird.

28) Photo Finish Date

Okay I get that the writers want to show this awesome date that Jo and Tyler are having but in a serious of snapshots? Are you kidding me? I understand that they might be tired of writing text, but that is one of the worst things you could do in the middle of the film. It just distances the viewer from the plot and to be perfectly honest, bores them. “Photographs” of scenes should only be done in the beginning or end, like The Parent Trap (1998). I mean who is taking these photos on their date? Did they bring a third person just for this? Is it a ghost?

29) Too Touchy-Feely

Okay this is Tyler and Jo’s first date, and Jo’s first date ever, there is no way they’d be THAT comfortable climbing all over and feeding each other. On the first date, you are still reserved as you are trying to figure out what is acceptable by the other person. There ain’t no way that Jo’d be that okay seeing as she’s never been on a date with any guy before and would definitely be way nervous and awkward.

30)Asking About Past Loves

Okay there is no way anyone would ask the question of “how many have you been with?” on the first date! It’s the FIRST DATE! Those are things you wait to ask until you have been dating for a while. No one wants to hear on the first date every single person their crush has been with. That comes later when the two have become more invested in each other and are not so quick to run out. Tyler I love ya, but that was a bad move.

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31) Tyler and Mandi? Hooking Up? GROSS!

Okay, why does everyone say this? I mean yes they grew up together, but they are step siblings. NOT BLOOD RELATED, therefore it is perfectly legal for them to have a relationship. I mean hasn’t any of these kids seen Cruel Intentions? (I don’t recommend it) They have that total vibe going on as Mandi seems waay into Tyler. Except Mandi is both the Ryan Phillippe and Sarah Michelle Gellar characters, Tyler is just awesome.

Cruel Intentions + Mean Girls 2

Cruel Intentions + Mean Girls 2

Jo could definitely be Reese Witherspoon‘s part.

32) I’m Sorry I Posted that Awful Video of You

Okay  Elliot apologizes for posting the video on the web, and says he no longer can be webmaster. All I can say is I’m feeling no sympathy for you here and I want some real groveling. YOU POSTED A VIDEO OF ME ON THE INTERNET, its going to be around FOREVER! You humiliated me in front of EVERYONE I deserve all kinds of things for you to prove your sorry. I’d be screaming at him like Karen when Henry stands her up in Goodfellas.

If I was Abby I’d be yelling at Elliot “whatever you are doing to earn my forgiveness, it better be good”. And it better be as high up there as Henry Hill’s “I’m sorry”.

33) The Wrong Eggs

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So Mandi switches the eggs and Jo & Tyler end up with an unboiled egg instead of a boiled one. Their parachute crashes and they receive a 0.

First of all, when I did this in my physics class you had to use raw eggs because that better proved how strong your egg catcher thingy was. And we didn’t have a ruler we just had to try and toss it in our baskets. So I really am not understanding the level of difficulty this is supposed to be.

Secondly, besides that though, how could they not tell the egg was raw? I mean a raw egg has a completely different feel to it regarding weight. It just seems so much lighter and you can tell there is liquid in it.

Third, what teacher is really that much of a dipstick they won’t let you go again using the proper egg? He totally would have. Or they could bring their parents in and start a huge fuss how it wasn’t fair that they weren’t able to have an equal try.

And once again what does the egg drop have to do with architecture? NOTHING!

But hey at least one good thing came out of this. Raw egg is really good for your hair.

34) Doctor Supplying Drugs

Okay I don’t care how rich Hope may be, but there is no way that a doctor is going to provide her with laughing gas just because she asks for it.  Oh look:

“Ohio: Selling nitrous oxide to a person under 21 years of age is illegal. Selling nitrous oxide (to a person over 21 years of age) is illegal if also devices used to inhale nitrous oxide are sold, or if the seller has reason to believe that the nitrous oxide will be inhaled. All sales have to be recorded. All cartridges containing nitrous oxide have to be printed with a note which includes intended use and warning about the presence of ‘dangerous health effects’. “

Yeah, there is no way that Hope could have gotten a supply as her doctor would not want to risk losing his license.

35) Now You’re Just Asking for It (Not Breaking but Entering Part 2)

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Okay man you have an expensive racecar in your garage! LOCK IT! This baby is  $1-3 million per team and engines alone can cause up to $8 million!! Keep that car locked up tight. You are just asking for someone to steal from you. No sympathy right now. I mean I have nothing valuable in my garage but I keep that puppy sealed up stronger than a Pharaoh’s tomb. This reminds me of the Bling Ring. These kids stole from a ton of stars because they never locked up their belongings. Come on you have valuables! Protect Them!

And this is further proof that Mandi is a psychopath.

36) “Not enough time, not enough money”

Okay so Jo’s dad is crying like a baby because his engine is ruined, and states that only if they had time and money to fix it. Now Jo has money that could probably help, but doesn’t offer it to her dad. What a jerk!

Now I know it would be hard to, because her father would want to know where it came from, and would probably make her give it back, but look at this man! How could you not even offer it?

It would break my heart to see my dad cry.

It would break my heart to see my dad cry.

37) Girl Hormones

Okay, I don’t like the fact that this movie is making it seem as if feeling upset and wanting to crush someone for hurting you is “girly” and something that “tomboy” Jo never did. Those are things everyone goes through, no matter what their sex. Bad form, bad form.

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

38) “But it was so much fun”

When Jo confronts Mandi she flat out admits she did it. Come on, there is no way that she would say it in a crowded area like that. I mean TMZ girl is not that far away and this is the scoop of the year. She’d pull a Campus Confidental and expose Mandi for the psycho she is. Mandi seems pretty smart, she’d probably say she didn’t know what Jo was talking about, while smiling the whole time to let Jo she knew exactly what she was talking about. The whole false innocent thing is totally Mandi’s MO. Plus she would know that would piss off Jo even more.

39) Almost tells her, but chickens out at the last minute.

Classic movie cliché, right up there with the POG. I mean right here you seal the friendships death warrant. There is no surprise ending in this film, we know how it will be. I know that it is something you can never seem to cut out of the equation, but I really wish they would come up with a new plot line than “I’m lying abut really being your friend/boyfriend/girlfriend, but I really fell for you in the end. Our relationship may have been built on a lie but the rest has been true” thing.

40) Getting ready for the party scene

Okay I understand that the writers created this scene so that we could see the brother/sister dynamics and that we could hear all the reasons why Tyler dislikes Mandi (that way when Jo starts acting like Mandi we will understand why the two break up. I mean we know they are going to be Super Ob.) But this scene is just too intimate. It just seems weird to me that he is talking to her while she is getting ready in her room that close to her.

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I know the film is trying to dissuade a whole stepbrother/stepsister relationship, but this scene kept giving me flashbacks to Cruel Intentions. I mean the tension between the two was really similar.

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They should have had the scene in the  kitchen or living room or at least not have them speak that close to each other. I mean it looks like they are going to kiss.

41)”Who wants to go to a party where they have to wear cocktail dresses?”

Uh, Jo I know you are supposed to be a super tomboy, but do you really have so little imagination that you can’t fathom why some girls would want to dress up? Lots of girls enjoy it, I mean look at prom. You like to dress up and feel like a beautiful creature ever now and then.

And don’t you dare get on your tomboy high horse again, because you wear a nice dress to your own party. So…just shut up. So there. (Granted Abby’s mom insists that she dress up, but if Jo was really as principled as she is always insisting, she would have just ignored her)

So there!

They may be trying to portray Abby’s mom as silly but she’s right. If your the host/hostess you need to dress your best. It’s YOUR party. And the mom is totally right, YOYO (You’re Only Young Once) Live it up, when your old and gray you can look back on those memories of when you could wear those sexy dresses.

42) There is no way that Abby’s dress could fit Jo.

Abby’s mom insists the girls dress up and pulls out a skin tight green tank dress for Jo to wear. There is no way that the two girls could wear the same size as Abby is much more fuller figured. The dress would be way too big for Jo and falling off her. Sorry guys, this isn’t The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. It would actually make more sense if the mom pulled something out of her closet as the two are a similar size.

There's just no way

There’s just no way

43) TMZ girl is not a true friend

Okay TMZ wannabe girl has been hanging out with Abby and Jo all the time. She is supposed to be a “good” friend, yet she goes to Mandi’s party first instead of Jo and Abby. What kind of friend would do that? Why write her that way? All I got to say about her now is CUT ‘ER LOOSE!

And run fast

44) Clip in colored hair

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Okay NOBODY wears that anymore, it died out in the early 2000s. I remember, because I used to have some. What was really in 2011 was tinseling the hair or the pheasant hair extensions. Whoever was writing this wasn’t with the times.

45) Tree Dancer, not hugger

Seriously?

Seriously?

Like dancing with a tree is really they way into a girl’s heart? I know it is supposed to be sweet/silly, but it just is dumb to me. Like that is really going to impress me and have me forgive you? No way! I want GROVELING!

46) Drug Deal

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So Mandi has Hope pay the pizza delivery guy to coat the pizzas in ipecac. And all I can think is how does Hope have that much money and would the pizza guy really jeopardize his job that way? I mean first of all, having all these kids throwing up is going to reflect very badly on whatever pizzareia he is employed at. The guy will lose money, and pizza boy here will be out of a job.

Plus with such a wide amount vomiting, I feel like these kids are going to be tested to make see what was exactly the cause. Their drug tests, I’m sure would show that these kids all took ipecac, which will be denied by everyone. When they test the pizzas, they will see that this is where it came from. Then, everyone will piece together where the ipecac came from which is for sure going to get Pizza boy in a ton of trouble. Hope, I’m not so sure, her family has money.

I mean giving someone laxatives without their knowledge is technically a murder attempt, I know because someone threatened me with this and got in big trouble. It’s because you can die from too much diarrhea. I feel that the same would go for ipecac. I’m pretty sure Pizza boy does not want to go to jail.

47) Delivery Boy Must Have Wings

Okay so Hope pays Pizza boy to coat the pizzas with ipecac, runs back to get the rest of the group at Mandi’s, gets her mask and gloves and the quartet run back over to Abby’s. Now this couldn’t have taken more than 10-15 mins, 20 if we’re really pushing it. So how the heck were they able to, in that short of time get enough Chinese food for everyone?

Where-To-Find-Hong-Kong-One-Dollar-Chinese-FoodThere is no way they could do that with so many people at Abby’s place. I mean they had like 6-8 boxes of pizza, and now they have to buy a carton for everyone? There has to be over a 100 people there. There is no delivery place on Earth that could make that much food, that quickly, then have someone take it over and deliver it, and everyone grab a carton and finish all before Mandi & Co make the less then 10 min walk to Abby’s.

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48) I’m Blind to Everything

Okay, so I understand that Nick is not the brightest crayon in the box and can be pretty oblivious to everything, but when Jo grabs the ipecac-laden pizza out of the trash, how does he not see it? It is right in front of him!

Screen shot 2013-04-26 at 12.51.11 AMHe should have totally seen it and been like, “I don’t want it…” Plus that is just gross and mean to give someone something out of the trash. And mean to use Nick, who hasn’t done anything to you.

And so that’s as far as I got in the film. I then had to go and get ready for work. Let me know what you think of this post, and comment below if you want me to finish reviewing the film. I had a ton of fun writing this, as I hated it, and I hope you enjoyed reading it.

For more (and better) sequels, go to I Want Friend Like Me: The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

For more on Diego Boneta, go to Nothing But A Good Time