“Here’s my story, sad but true
It’s about a town that I once knew
It took my time then ran me around
In circles round and round
Now listen people what I’m telling you
A-keep away from-a Runaround Suesanville.”
Have you ever gotten the runaround from someplace? Where they just keep sending you here, there, back here, back over there; until you snap; thinking why even bother?
Well this happened to me the other day.
So for the purpose of this story, and how when I think of this experience it makes me think of the song Runaround Sue, I gave the place I live the fictitious name of Suesanville. It does not relate at all to the real town Susanville, that is why I put an “e” in mine. Got it? Good.
So last month I recieved a ticket for running a red light.
I know, I know. I could hardly believe it myself. But first of all I was making a right turn on a red light, so it wasn’t as bad as running straight through traffic. I still couldn’t believe it though. I always drive carefully and cautiously. Like Cory on Boy Meets World when he first got his license.
The only reason I can think of for doing this, is that the day I ran the light was two days before my wisdom teeth surgery, and I had a sinus infection plus a horrible headache; but could take no medicine as you had to be clean of everything 10 days prior to surgery.
So being a good citizen I went to the courthouse, prepared to pay my ticket. But what happened next was not what I was expecting.
Argh!!!
So I reported to the office it said to go to, and there was only one window open. So I went up to the lady and asked her about making installment payments on my ticket. She told me she couldn’t help me, and that the traffic person was gone for the day, and sent me on to window 13.
Oh well
So as I was walking, it turned out I really far to walk. The floor was set up circular, going one way, and window 14 was all the way on the other side. I mean this felt like it took forever, as if it was neverending. Kind of like that time I felt I was going to be lost in the mall.
ARRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!! Why won’t you end!
Finally I reach the window, but just my luck the person was talking to someone and helping them. It seemed like it was going to take a long time. Luckilly I was prepared.
So I sat waiting, reading my book. When the man was finished, I got up to ask for help with the paperwork, but the guy shut his window.
So I went next door, to window 15, to see if that person could help me, but no. She had no idea what I was talking about.
So I went all the way back to where I started. The lady I had originally talked to was gone, but now the window that had been previously closed was open. I went to her and told her my issue, and she said the window I needed to go to was Window 2.
I hate you all.
So I went to window 2, and when I got there the man asked if he could help me. I told him I hoped so because I had already been shot around to four windows.
He took my paperwork and started asking me all these questions, of which I knew nothing of. I told him I hadn’t filled out or done anything yet, just walked around in circles. He told me that he couldn’t help me, I had to go to window 9.
I was so mad! Another trip around!!!
But on I trekked.
So when I first got there was nobody else was there. But by now, due to my constant ping pongging back and forth, when I reached window 9 there was a person being helped, a lady with a baby, and after me two more people came.
I saw the guy place my paperwork on the desk, and then he took off back to his window. But even though I had found the correct place (hopefully), I now had to wait until the people were done.
Finally the person was done, and the lady with the baby walked up to the window, but she was stopped as the paperwork wasn’t hers. I was ecstatic, It was MY paperwork! I would finally get help and be able to move on!
Majorly
It turns out as the lady was in front of me, although technically I had been waiting longer, I had to wait until she was done. NO cutting.
I was so upset!
I just wated to leavve. I was tired of it all.
The only thing that kept me was the fact if I might have to go through it a second time, or have my fine increased to $700. So I decided to wait.
Lucky for me, the lady let me go ahead.
So when I finally explaimed what I was here for, the lady at the window asked me if I ran the light straight or right turn. I told her a right turn, and then asked to pay installments.
She said “I’m going to have you see the judge…”
Excuse me, but that is not what I asked for. I wanted to pay the ticket and be done!
But the lady wouldn’t give up. She told me seeing the judge would reduce the fine. I said that I wanted to pay and be done. She insisted seeing the judge would cut the fine in half. I said I wanted to pay and be done with it all. She told me that seeing the judge was better, as it would help…It was like she wasn’t listening to me at all.
By this time I was so worn out I caved and made an appointment to visit the judge.
It was such a waste of an afternoon, and now it is even prolonged. Ugh.
So I’m sure you all have heard that old joke “Why did the chicken cross the road?”
Duh!
Well have you ever lived it?
What?
Yeah, that’s what I thought. Well I’ll get to that in a moment. First we need to go over some backstory.
So in my hometown, years ago, some people released a series of chickens into the city. The group grew each year and now they have taken over an area of the town as their domain. They are in fact protected by the city, and it is now illegal to kill them.
Yeah I don’t understand it either
During my freshman year at college, a rooster wandered on to campus and made it it’s home. Everybody freaked out and tons of people signed a petition trying to get the rooster declared the new school mascot. They were amazed at seeing a rooster living on campus. I don’t see the big ta-do. And I told people, it’s nothing new to me to see a chicken or rooster not on a “farm”, that’s pretty normal.
Anyways, as I mentioned these chickens not only took over a section of the city, they actually have become very smart. I am not kidding you, they have figured out how to use the crosswalks.
Yes I am not kidding you!!! One day my sister Jessica and I were driving somewhere and had to stop for a red light, and a chicken was waiting on the corner. As soon as the hand changed to the walk signal, the chicken crossed the street, remaining in the lines. Crazy, huh?
Anyways, so the other day I was driving somewhere and coming up a street to make a right turn. As I drive up, this chicken comes walking through. I figure, hey it’ll keep moving along, but that’s not what happened.
Stupid, stupid
The chicken stopped halfway through crossing the street. I guess it became nervous, because it just started pacing back and forth all flustered.
Of course
I’m like Chicken move!! I mean this guys are protected I can’t run it over. Besides I would feel really bad if I did. So I’m honking my horn and screaming at this Chicken, which only flusters it more and increases the pacing.
This guy on the corner is watching me and the chicken and just laughing his butt off.
Finally the chicken has figured out what it wants and continues on it’s way allowing me to continue on mine.
Yep, just another day.
For more scenes of my everyday life, go to Just A Moment
So welcome to another Screamin’ Saturday. Yep, every Saturday this month we are going to cover the Scream franchise. Go to What’s Your Favorite Scary Movie? to read about the first one.
**** Contains Spoliers ****
Now the first Scream film was a parody of horror films. Scream 2 is similar, but takes it one step further by making this a parody of horror sequels, and sequels in general. Kevin Williamson actually came up with the ideas for Scream 2 while writing the script for Scream. Scream 2 began principal photography just six months after the release of Scream, and it was released less than a year after its predecessor.
So Scream takes place two years since the last film, and Gale Weathers has not only written her book about the Woodsboro murders, but her book has been turned into a film, Stab. They are having a midnight showing for the film in which all those who attend receive a free ghostface mask + costume.
So we open with a boyfriend and girlfriend going to see the film. She’s not really into it, but her boyfriend is all over the slasher flick. The two start watching the film, when her boyfriend goes off to the bathroom. Just like in Friday the 13th, he meets his end.
Ghostface attacks!
Making it body #1
Victim #1
Back at the theater, his date is chilling, watching the film, when she too meets her end.
Victim #2
Everyone hears her screams, but does nothing as they think it was just a publicity stunt.
The next day we go to Windsor College, where the dead boy and girl attended school; and also the place that Randy and Sidney go to. Randy is in his film class where they are discussing whether or not violent films really encourages people to become killers. The reason this plays such a crucial role in the film, was because after the first film came out there were a ton of people trying to copy the murders and they way they killed people in the film. In fact many tried to blame it on scary movies and try to get directors like Wes Craven to be held responsible for it.
“Film Teacher: You could say that what happened in that theatre was a direct result of the movie itself.
Cici: That is so Moral Majority. You can’t blame real life violence on entertainment.
Film Class Guy #1: Yes you can. Don’t you ever watch the news?
Film Class Guy #2: Hello? The murderer was wearing a ghost mask just like in the movie. It’s directly responsible.
Cici: No, it’s not. Movies are not responsible for our actions.
Mickey: Its a classic case of life, imitating art, imitating life.
Film Class Mopey Girl: Its not hypothetical, it’s not about art. I had biology with that girl. This is reality.
Randy: Thank you. I agree with you. Let me tell you about reality, Mickey. I lived through this, okay? Life is life. It doesn’t imitate anything.
Mickey: Oh come on Randy, with all due respect, the killer obviously patterned himself after two serial killers who were immortalized on film.
Film Class Guy #2: Thank you!
Film Teacher: So, you’re suggesting that someone is trying to make a real life sequel?
Randy: Stab 2? Who would wanna do that? Sequels suck! Oh please, please! By definition alone, sequels are inferior films!
Thank you Randy!
And this spurns a debate on whether or not sequels are horrible films. I have to say that I usually hate sequels, but there are some that are better than the original, such as Aliens, or just as good, like Terminator 2. Anyways, as they are debating, one student, Mickey, says that Godfather II is so much better than the original. Mickey you are stupid. Godfather II is no where near as awesome as the original Godfather. The Godfather was an amazing film about this family and one man’s struggle to get free, but getting trapped in something he does not want. It is AWESOME! The second one isn’t bad, but the plot is a little scattered with the juxtaposition between Vito’s start in America, and Michael’s life. I don’t think it’s awful, but it just doesn’t hold a candle to the original. Mickey, I only have one thing to say to you:
Don’t mess with me!
Sorry! Back to the film…
So Randy still is in love with Sidney, and I personally hate how the directors never put them together. I wanted Randy to win the girl. But sadly, that’s not in his future.
He checks up on Sidney who is scared about everything happening again.
We are then introduced to the rest of the crew. Sidney’s new boyfriend Derek (Jerry O’Connell), his best friend Mickey (Timothy Olyphant) and…wait a sec. Timothy Olyphant? the sexy guy from Deadwood and Justified? He’s in this film???? Woaaaaaah!! This dude is one incredible actor. He goes from yucky creep:
Uber Creep!!!
to:
Excuse me again. Sorry! And Sydney’s best friend Hallie (Elise Neal). (Funny it mimics the old crew. In Scream: Sidney, Randy, Billy, Stu, & Tatum. Scream 2: Sidney, Randy, Derek, Mickey, & Hallie. 3 boys and 2 girls). Soon to join them is Deputy Dewey, as he wants to watch over Sidney and make sure she is okay. He does suffer from a limp and other ailments, as his stabbing almost killed him. Following after him is Gale, who is once again, not received well.
Meanwhile Sidney continues to get harassed on the phone:
“Sydney: Hello? Hello?
Phone Voice: Hello Sidney.
Sydney: Yes?
Phone Voice: What’s your favorite scary movie?
Sydney: Who is this?
Phone Voice: You tell me.
Sydney: [picks up caller ID] Cory Gillis, 555-0176.
Phone Voice: S***!
Sydney: Hot flash Cory…
Phone Voice: S***!
Sydney: …prank calls are a criminal offense prosecuted under penal code 653M.
[caller hangs up]
Sydney: Hope you enjoyed the movie.”
Meanwhile, that night in a sorority house, Cici, the girl from the film class (and played by Sarah Michelle Geller) recieves a lot of phone calls and is attacked that night.
Ghostface attacks!
Making her
Victim #3
That night Sidney gets attacked by ghostface, and just manages to get out okay with Derek’s help. He saves her but gets a flesh wound in the process. She is then is given two policemen bodyguards to protect her.
The next day, Sidney is totally freaking out, as she herself also gets attacked. Derek tries to make her feel better by singing her a Partridge Family song, I Think I Love You:
This is one of my all time favorite songs! I find it so incredibly romantic!
So romantic!
And gives her his Greek letters for protection.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Derek NO!
Noooooooooo!!!!!!!
Have you not seen any horror films?!!!!
This is why Randy is awesome, he would know about this and he would not make this stupid mistake. OMG movie heroes make this mistake all the freakin’ time. The Wolf Man, The Mummy, Dracula, etc. If you have been given a necklace just for you DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT GIVE IT AWAY! IF YOU DO YOU WILL DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Every single time! I mean it is true that this is just Greek letters and not something given by Van Helsing, or a Gypsy ,or whatever, but still. If you hadn’t given it away you wouldn’t have marked yourself as a dead man. Just saying.
Ouch
Randy and Dewey meet up to try and figure out who the killer might be. While they are discussing it, they see clips from the film Stab. Now I do have to say I love the movie within the movie as they show scenes from the film. And good job Wes on continuity. In Scream, Sidney mentions how she wouldn’t be lucky to have a great actress play her, she’d probably end up with Tori Spelling.
Randy also goes over the rules for sequels.
And also discusses our potential killers. Is it Derek, the boyfriend? Could Sydney have made the same mistake twice? How about creepy Mickey? Or the supposedly sweet Hallie?
Everyone’s a suspect!
Sidney, meanwhile is suffering from PTSD. She is supposed to be the star of the school play, but has a complete breakdown in rehearsal.
And this is something that makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever. I know Wes did it this way so that when Ghostface is attacking her she can go all loca, but still who would ever be in a play where people in freakin’ masks are attacking you? There is no way whatsoever that someone with that much trauma would dare even do that. I’m sorry, but I just don’t believe it.
Now I want to take a brief sidebar from the film (I know again…sorry!) But let me just say that I love how this film is such a great representation of the ’90s. You have that one side of the culture with the dark clothing very goth (Sidney and Gale). And on the other hand you have the prep look with floral and pastels (Derek and Hallie). You have everyone running around in denim, stonewash of course. Ah, it’s such a throwback. They even give a Saved By the Bell reference, and call each other bonehead. Oh ’90s.
Anyways back to the film. So Randy, Dewey, and Gale have now teamed up to try and find the killer. Poor Randy. He loves Sidney so much, but she won’t give him the time of day. Now I cannot understand why Sidney won’t date Randy. Randy is awesome. He has great taste in film. He is tall and buff. He does a great British accent. Why Sid? Why? He’s perfect.
So they get a call, and while Randy talks to ghostface, Dewey and Gale hunt around the area trying to find the murderer.
Victim #4
RANDY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Noooooooooo!!!!!!!
Why, why why!!!!!! Why did Randy have to die? Why?????????!!!!!!!!! Just like the garage scene was the biggest mistake of Scream, killing Randy was the biggest mistake you could make for the sequel. Randy was awesome. Randy was hot. Randy was the only one who had seen horror films. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So Sidney, even though her life is threatened, has schoolwork to do. She goes to the library and her guards go to the other side of the building.
WHY AREN’T THEY NEXT TO HER?
Then Sidney gets threatened and her bodyguards take off to investigate.
So what is up with Sidney’s bodyguards? Do they want her to die? She gets threatened and they live her alone to investigate. SHE WAS JUST THREATENED!!!!! DO YOU WANT HER TO DIE??????? Ugh! One of you should have stayed while the other went out looking.
While they are gone Cotton Weary comes onto Sidney. I’m sure you guys remember Cotton. He was played by Liev Schreiber, and was the man that Sidney thought had murdered her mother. He had been released after the whole Stu & Billy issue. He’s been trying to reach Sidney to have her go on TV with him and discuss the past, but she has been ignoring him.
Okay Cotton is a real creep. The way he just pops out of nowhere and how he is obsessed with Sidney, I’m having Phantoms flashbacks. Let me just say that I don’t like Liev Schieber. I think he is creepy in everything! (Well except Kate & Leopold).
So after that they decide to take Sydney and Hallie to a safe house. She stops to say good-bye to Derek, but it turns out he gets kidnapped by his frat brothers as he is going to get a beat down for giving away his letters.
Okay this is a weird scene. Seriously what is with all the Troy references? They are doing a Greek tragedy about Troy as their school play. The Greek frat/Sorority yells about how this is for Troy and call themselves gods. Who talks like that? What is their obsession with Troy in this film?
Anyways, so the four of them are on their way to a safe house, when Sydney asks the cops where they are going. They tell her that they can’t, because if they tell her, then they’ll have to kill her.
Sydney is being threatened BY A KILLER AND YOU THINK MAKING A JOKE ABOUT KILLING HER IS FUNNY?
Like dude really? Bad form, bad form
I mean like
Anyways, back to the film.
So as they are driving they get attacked by Ghostface.
Ghostface attacks!
Now this makes no sense to me. How did Ghostface know where they were going? I mean they were taking her to a secure location, a safe house, yet he reaches the intersection way before them. I mean he could have guessed they would exit and go down that way, but every campus has at least four exits, how did he know they weren’t going to double back? And how did he make it there on foot? And what was his plan if they didn’t happen to get a red light? I mean he is on foot, and they will be driving at least 35m/hr, maybe faster.
Shame on you!
So the two take a really long time, trying to get out of the car without disturbing ghostface. They make it out and start running away. When Sidney decides to go back and take a look at who the killer is.
This isn’t the time to stay there, this is the time to RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!
She goes back, but the killer has magically disappeared and kills Hallie. Bringing our total to:
Victim #5, 6, & 7
The body count is racking up!
Sidney, finally takes the right advice and runs away, toward the theater/film department/building.
Meanwhile, Gale and Dewey go are in the theater to check out the film department and look at some tapes.
While their things get a little heated. Now Dewey and Gale, tsk. tsk. What is this Twin Peaks? You are going to sex while there is a killer loose?
But they get interrupted by a tape that shows images from Cici’s murder, Randy’s, and then the two of them. Ghostface then chases them around stabbing Dewey in the process. Now Gale manages to outrun him for quite a while and it is pretty B.A. how Gale is attacking and trying to take Ghostface down. The whole chase scene with Gale and the killer is very reminiscent of Jurassic Park. The raptors and Ghostface could be best buds.
Sidney has reached the stage, where she sees Derek tied up. She goes to help him when ghostface comes upon her and reveals himself to be……….
Uber Creep!!!
Mickey
Yep, Mickey is crazy and the killer. He tells Sidney that he isn’t working alone, but has a partner.
“Mickey: Don’t you know, history repeats itself? Hmm, Sid? [removes mask to reveal Mickey; uses voice-changer] Surprise, Sidney.
Derek: What the f***?
Mickey: Since Derek here disappeared on my a**, I’ve been on my own, all f****** night. Thanks a lot, partner.
Derek: You motherf*****! Sid, you know me better than that. Untie me.
Sydney: Oh my god, Derek!
Derek: No, no, no… Sid.
Mickey: It’s okay, Derek. We got her.
Derek: No, no, Sid, listen to me. You know me better than that. He’s lying.
Mickey: What do you think, Derek? Sidney’s experiencing a little deja vu?
Derek: Sid, he’s lying! The man is lying! Sid, untie me! Untie me!”
So now Sidney is caught between the two. Could she have made the same mistake?
What to do
Before Sidney can make a decision Mickey shoots Derek in the chest. Bringing us to:
Victim #8
“Mickey: You should really deal with your trust issues Sid: I mean, poor Derek. He’s completely innocent and such a nice boy too. He’s bright and funny and handsome. Decent singing voice. And he was going to be a doctor. This is just the kinda boy you’d like to take home to mom. If you had a mom.”
Mickey tells Sidney to look behind her and she his partner. She does and it is Gale
But behind Gale is another reporter who had been around earlier, Debbie Salt. The women who Sidney recognizes as Mrs. Loomis, Billy’s mom.
Now what’s really interesting about Scream 2 is that the cast didn’t know who the killer was until the last day. They had kept it a big secret and had actually gone through multiple endings with different killers. Everyone from Derek, Hallie, Mrs. Loomis, and Cotton; before settling on the deadly duo of Mickey and Mrs. Loomis.
Anyways, so Billy’s mom and Mickey have been working together. Mickey wanted to kill because he wanted to get caught and use horror films as his defense at trial. Mrs. Loomis, shoots Mickey who shoots Gale and knocks her off the stage. She then turns to Sidney and explains her real reasons behind it all. Pulling a Mrs. Voorhees, she wants to get back at the person who killed her son.
Pamela Voorhees: [high voice] Kill her, Mommy! Kill her! Don’t let her get away, Mommy! Don’t let her live! [normal voice] I won’t, Jason. I won’t!
After Mrs. Voor…Loomis is about to slit Sidney’s throat, when Cotton comes on the scene.
I love this ending. Even though Cotton is a total creep and this is the meanest thing ever, I just love that he blackmails her into giving him the interview.
Gale is alive and after she joins the group. Mickey seems to wake up, but Sidney shoots both Mickey and Mrs. Precott.
Dewey is alive and gets taken to the hospital and Cotton gets his interview as the hero of the night.
So tell me Wes Craven, how does Dewey survive another extreme stabbing and live? How does he live and not Randy? Randy is awesome, why’d he have to die? Why. I’m still not over that. Wes Craven you break my heart.
So today was just full of bad luck. You know those days when everything just seems to go wrong?
So I’m in charge of the layout/design of the history journal and spent over twelve hours working on it. Now it would have been shorter but I had to deal with a prissy InDesign who if I didn’t do everything just right exited faster than a guy does when you bring up the word “feelings”.
Then instead of people actually trying to do work in the 24 hour lab, it was like hook-up central.
Hello!
There was this girl who would laugh like every five, freakin’ mins. because she was trying to catch the attention of some baseball player. It was in that moment I understood shows like Snapped, where you have the perfectly sane person go crazy, because I just wanted to do something to end the laughing.
That’s it! I will end you!
It made me wish I could be like Snape and hit people with books and not get in trouble for it.
Then of course it has to rain on the one day I don’t have any rain gear and on the day I didn’t park my bike under the awning but in the art dept.
Why? Why!
And I’m biking home, and it has a red light for, I kid you not, for like 10 mins. Just chillin’ (literally) in the rain waiting for the light to change. And as soon as I’m like “forget this I’ll run it” (I mean its 1:30 in the morning, no one’s out) a cop has to drive by, so I’m once again stuck out there waiting some more.
![Pamela Voorhees: [high voice] Kill her, Mommy! Kill her! Don't let her get away, Mommy! Don't let her live! [normal voice] Pamela Voorhees: I won't, Jason. I won't!](https://janeaustenrunsmylife.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/images-111.jpeg)
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