We made you a new body. A synthetic shell. But your mind, your soul, your “ghost,” it’s still in there.
So I had never seen this film before but my sister wanted to watch it during our Dystopian Future film fest during the beginning of shelter in place. I did remember the film as the controversy was huge. People were extremely upset over them casting Scarlet Johansson instead of an Asian actress, then getting mad when they tried to CGI a more Asian face, and so on.
Grab your torches and sharpen your pitchforks!
So I watched this and…I hated this.
I was so bored fell asleep halfway through and then tried to watch it again, but just couldn’t connect to it. I couldn’t even tell what was going on.
I watched the anime film and that was much, much better. It is a high concept but it was understandable and much easier to follow. I was riveted to that story.
The biggest problem with this film was Scarlet Johansson. She was horrible.
She was so wooden and acted robotic. I don’t know if the director was overcompensating for making her not Asian and trying to say it wasn’t about race, if it was because of the CGI they planned to add and removed, if she just struggled with being robotic in her body and voice instead of just focusing on the voice like in Her. I mean there is a way to have a person be a robot/cyborg and still be able to connect to them and understand what they are experiencing and going through. Look at Robocop, look at the Terminator, etc. All those were much better depictions. I don’t know where the blame truly lies-director or actress, all I know it was awful…just a mess.
I don’t know…
I also felt the story really strayed from the original concept and became like a ripoff of Robocop meets Blade Runner.
So I know many of you see this film on this list and are probably thinking to yourself:
Why would I put an action/adventure, superhero film on my list of horror films? Well I’m including it because of this reason: 1) You have two, not one, TWO scientists who create two, not one, but TWO creatures.
I loved this film and thought it was the best superhero film. It covers a team, but each character was given their own moment to shine. It had great dialogue, amazing scenes, and was just altogether fantastic.
Now as for the sequel? How did I feel about it.
I thought it was horrible!!!!!
And it sucks because I was jazzed about this film. James Spader? Love him in everything! Our dream team, the Avengers? Awesome! Having some X-Men characters finally in it and teasing with a full on cross over? YES!
But then is sucked.
You ruined it!!!!
And believe me, my opinions based on this film isn’t just from one viewing. I saw it at the midnight showing, I saw it in 3-D the Sunday after with my nephew, and then my friend and I went and saw in June after seeing Jurassic World. Each time I saw it, the more I thought it was just done poorly, 2015’s Godzilla (which strangely, the same actors who were husband and wife in that movie are the Maximoff twins in this one.)
So this is going to be a slightly different review, I will give a brief synopsis and then go on to list why I didn’t like this film.
So the film starts with the Avengers taking down what they believe is the last cell of HYDRA out in a small Eastern European country. They are also after the scepter Loki had in the first film. They believe they have accomplished it when they run into two “enhanced creatures” or whatever they call them, Wanda/Scarlet Witch and Pietro/Quicksilver Maximoff. Wanda has the power to manipulate reality, while Pietro can run at super fast speeds.
Wanda uses her powers to cloud each Avengers mind and mess with their ability to think, espechially Tony Stark. After the defeat, of everyone, (except the Maximoff twins), the team returns home to the tower in New York to have a party and celebrate the end of the Avengers.
Tony convinces Thor to allow him to study the scepter, believing he can use it to create a robot that will be able to save humanity and keep it safe. He convinces Bruce Banner to assist him. See here is where we have the Frankenstein parallels.
In Frankenstein, Dr. Frankenstein believed that his work could save humanity: it could bring about immortality, he could save people who’s limbs were lost reanimating dead limbs; etc. Instead he creates a creature, that immediately tries to destroy him. It also has a goal in mind and tries to force Frankenstein into playing his games and doing what he wants. Frankenstein realizes his mistake in trying to take God’s place and create something he has no control over, but it is too late. His creature has decided to destroy not only him, but everything he loves.
With Tony, he believed that his work could save humanity: it would protect them from aliens and any threat too large for humans to handle. Instead he creates a creature, Ultron, that immediately tries to destroy him. It also has a goal in mind and tries to force Tony into playing his games and doing what he wants. Tony realizes his mistake, but it is too late. His creature has decided to destroy not only him, but everything he loves.
The team has discord and seems to be falling apart, when after a brief pastoral retreat they come back in the game and go after Ultron. They steal the machine he was going to use to create the perfect body, with Tony comes up with a second idea. Use Ultron’s plan, but instead of Ultron, input his best friend/butler, J.A.R.V.I.S.
So here we have The Bride of Frankenstein parallels.
In the Bride of Frankenstein, Frankenstein has realized his mistake. Never again will he ever make another creature, but instead be satisfied with what he has already accomplished. Then an old friend, ), comes around and convinces him to make another creature, to be the opposite and balance out the first. Now while Frankenstein knows it is wrong, and has seen how out of control things could get with his first creation, he decides to do it again creating a bride for the creature.
So in this Bruce Banner has realized his mistake in assiting in creating Ultron. Never again will he ever make another creature, but instead be satisfied with what he has already accomplished. But then Tony starts wheedling him, insisting and convincing him to make another creature, to be the opposite and balance out the first. Now while Bruce knows it is wrong, and has seen how out of control things could get with his first creation, he decides to do it again creating a yin to Ultron’s yang, Vision.
So after the create Vision, they go after Ultron, ending back where the film started; but this time with Vision, Scarlet Witch, & Quicksilver (Wanda and Pietro both choosing to go with the Avengers than Ultron).
The fight to save the world, losing an avenger in the process. Back in New York, the old has gone it’s own way and a new Avenger team is born.
Now on to the issues.
1) What an Opening, “What” as in “What is Going On?”
The first scene was all over the place, in a ton of slow motion, and unrealistically packed with action that I thought they were pulling a Toy Story 2 and it was a video game.
I mean come on, in that one scene they are practically posing for the camera.
It might have been the drugs I was on for my ear infection, but yeah I legitamitely thought it was some kind of tease, that is how horribly fake looking that beginning is. It didn’t feel like it was happening, but as if you were watching a bad community play. I mean I saw several times where Black Widow should have been shot but “wasn’t”. The fighting in the first one was much better.
Also no context as to what it going on, why are they after Loki’s scepter? Where did it go after the first Avengers film? Now some people might say “if you watch the TV show you’ll know”, but that’s not what a sequel is about. A sequel is created to enhance characters or events from the first film/book, having a progression from the previous to the next. Not suddenly throw everything at you with you like I don’t know what is going on.
2) Slow Mo needs to Go No Mo’
Honestly Joss Wheedon, the ’90s called, they want their special effects back. But seriously, waaaaaaay tooo much. It looks horrible, it is distracting, and just takes your viewer out of the right state of mind.
3) Calling Someone Out for Cursing Worth Talking About, But Create an Evil Robot and That’s Just a Moment Thing
Seriously. This a running joke for everyone, it keeps rearing its ugly head throughout the film. But Tony? They are mad for a nanosecond, and then they move on. Really guys? Really? The Robot is definitely worse and worth discussing.
And he doesn’t make just one thing, but TWO! TWO!!!!!
4) Enhanced Not Mutated
I don’t know who’s idea it was to not make them mutants and the children of Magneto, but that was beyond stupid.
THEY ARE MUTANTS NOT ENHANCED MUTANTS!!!!!! And they are Magneto’s children.
5) Clintasha or Brutasha?
So I did not like Black Widow and Hulk together. I really wanted it to be Black Widow and Hawkeye.
Now I might not have minded the whole Brutasha if it weren’t for the fact that it came out of left field. Natasha does go get him in the first Avengers film, but that’s all we see of their interactions. There is nothing to suggest anything romantic, and no chemistry between them, but yet we are expected they are considering running away together?
6) Visions…I Guess?
So what is up with the visions that Scarlet Witch makes. They never really explain her powers in the film so is it magic? Really the future? What?
They also don’t make any sense. For Tony it is his fear, and a bit of the future. Black Widow, a hidden memory, Thor a fear/vision. Captain America? How does what he sees relate to anything?
7) Tony Pop Culture Allergy?
So unlike Captain America, Thor, Black Widow, etc. Tony is a HUGE pop culture junkie. Yet when he creates artifical life, he doesn’t even consider how things could go horribly wrong. Wouldn’t he have seen Jurassic Park, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Frankenstein, The Terminator, I Robot, etc? Espechially as three that I just listed involve bad robots? Wouldn’t that make him pause, at least for a moment.
8) I Leeloo Ultron Robot
The part when Ultron awoke and then starts researching to figure out his purpose and what he’s supposed to do made me think if The Fifth Element.
Ultron’s breakdown around his objective is also very similar to V.I.C.K.I., in I Robot, when she starts killing mankind to save mankind.
9)Massive Iron Man Vs. Hulk
I feel like someone thought of this and then wrote the script around it. I know everyone thought it was super cool, but I actually thought it was kind of a worthless scene.
10) Green Acres is the Place to Be
So the whole crew go out to Clint’s farm so that they can regroup and figure out a new plan. To me it seems like a ripoff from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990), when they go to upstate New York to heal and refigure out what to do.
11) Motorcycle Mama Knows NO Bounds of Gravity
When Ultron tosses the ground at Black Widow and she is able to not only stop in time but turn so she isn’t hurt.
Really?
Impossible and dumb thing to do. Just no, no.
12) Copying Captain Underpants
So there was this book series in the early 2000s, Captain Underpants, about two kids, George and Harold, who hypnotize their principal into thinking he is their comic book creation, Captain Underpants.
In the sequel, Attack of the Talking Toilets, George and Harold use the nerdy kid’s science fair project, a 3D printer, and accidentally bring a giant toilet and his toilet army to life.
When Captain America isn’t able to stop them, they then create a Giant Robot to battle and destroy the toilets.
Avengers: Age of Ultron is like the same exact plot. Just switch out toilets for Ultron & the robots, and Giant Robot for Vision.
13) A Death That Didn’t Need to Happen
So people have been complaining that no one really dies in a superhero film, they always come back to life again. This coupled with Joss Wheedon liking to make us cry, meant he was going to kill someone and he killed Pietro.
That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. The man has SUPER SPEED!!!! You really think he wouldn’t be able to just move around the bullets in time?
I mean for once Fox did a better job than Disney.
Just so much awesome.
And if they are going to kill him, why not save him in the Stargate cradle thing? Hawkeye used it. And why does he, Cho, and Coulson get to survive?
You know why, because he is just being a pain, like Wes Craven when he killed Randy but let Dewey survive. And you know what Wheedon? Because that was so stupid, I’m going to ignore it.
Let’s face it, we all know how it should have ended:
So no banner as I couldn’t find a pic that worked right. Instead I’m going to end with those who criticize films best:
So I’m sure some of you are wondering what happened to the fandom posts? Why have I stopped doing them?
Well, I wanted to do a post on how great I think Cecilia Gray is. She not only liked my review of her book Fall For You (Jane Austen Academy #1). After that I stopped as I was feeling kind of under the weather.
I was feeling tired all the time, but that grew into a headache and sore throat. But then on Thursday morning I couldn’t hear out of my right ear.
That’s it, I need to go to the doctors. I wanted to put it off as I hate doctors, but figured I’d better go and get it looked at.
I know it takes forever!! So I had to wait, and wait and wait and wait and wait…….
Finally the nurse saw me and it turned out that I had an ear infection and a fever of 100.3. It was funny as after the nurse took my temperature, she asked me if I knew I had been running around with that high a fever.
When I was younger I used to get fevers of 103 & 104. 100.3 is nothing.
So the doctor finally saw me and gave me a prescription and sent me on my way. I had been waiting forever, but the actual time of the doctors was like 10 minutes. How is that fair?
And then you have to wait an hour for the pharmacy. Yuck.
So there was one big problem with being sick. I had tickets to see the Avengers: Age of Ultron, the midnight showing.
Oh yeah!
But you know what? Being sick wasn’t going to stop me, yep I was going to see that movie even though I had a fever and could hear out of only one ear!
That’s because I’m a true geek and hardcore fan.
When I got to the theater, I was the only one in my party. You see, since I’ve moved back home I don’t really see people my age. There was one guy I befriended, but he wanted to move on to dating, and I wasn’t really interested in him. So there was no one else I knew who’d be down for a midnight showing.
When I went to turn in my receipt from buying the ticket online, they guy asked me all shocked like-“only one?”. I felt sooooo embarrassed.
So embarressed
Like Josie in Never Been Kissed when she wants to go on the ferris wheel. It made me feel like a loser.
But that was short lived as I’m okay being alone.
And I was really excited to see the movie.
So now you are probably wondering what I thought of it. There were some things I had a problem with (one particular death of which I won’t say but thought was stupid to have!!!!), but on the whole I loved it and am seeing it again tonight.
I actually am reserving the rest of my thoughts for a later post. As Tony Stark and Bruce Banner create not one but two creatures, you can argue that this is a horror film, mad scientists creating monsters. So I will be bringing back the Avengers: Age of Ultron in October, during Horrorfest IV.
I first saw this movie on recommendation from my mother who had seen it in theaters with some friends. And I LOVED it! My favorite thing about it was that you had all these different characters that were all connected to each other in some way. Just like a Jane Austen book, although much more complicated.
So as you can tell from my diagram, this movie can be a bit messy just plotting it out on paper, but I will do my best.
Gigi (Ginnifer Goodwin) is searching for a soulmate, her perfect match. She goes on a date with Conner, her friend Janine’s realtor but after that blind date he never calls. Not one to give up on what could be “the one”, she goes to Connor’s best friend’s restaurant in hopes that she can find him. Instead she runs into Connor’s best friend, Alex (Justin Long). The two become friends, with Alex giving her advice on guys and promising to set her up with someone. However, all the time they spend together causes Gigi to start falling for him and believing her cares for her too. Is she right? Or will she just mess up her friendship?
Janine (Jennifer Connelly) and Ben (Bradley Cooper) dated all through college, marrying after graduation. They’ve been the perfect couple, having just bought a house, one that Janine has been actively redecorating and renovating. But not all is going well in their household. While Janine wants a baby, Ben doesn’t even want to be married, starting an affair with singer/yoga instructor Anna (Scarlett Johansson). While Ben is out all the time, Janine starts wondering if Ben is being completely truthful to her. Will they power through this or fall apart?
At first Ben tries to stay away from Anna, but they become friends, developing into an affair, both emotional and physical. Anna at first doesn’t mind being the other women, but when she is frustrated or in need of an ego boost; she heads over to her boy toy and doormat, Connor (Kevin Connolly). Connor is a sweet guy who has been in love with Anna and is willing to take anything he can get to be with her. But when he pushes for more, will he gain a real girlfriend or lose her?
Neil (Ben Affleck) and Beth (Jennifer Aniston) have been dating/living together for seven years. Beth wants to be married but Neil doesn’t believe in it. Beth has never tried to push it, but just hoped that Neil would change his mind and propose, but every year she is disappointed. After hearing the advice Alex gave Gigi, Beth comes to realize that Neil will never marry her. She gives him an ultimatum and when Neil still doesn’t propose, she ends the relationship. Will she be able to move on? Or has she ended a relationship with her soulmate?
Mary (Drew Barrymore) is like Gigi and looking for love; except she went the online dating route. Through social media, dating sites, and more; Mary searches but finds herself constantly disappointed. What’s a girl looking for an old-fashioned romance going to do in this 21st century way of electronic dating?
Most Romantic Moment: You Are My Exception
*Spoilers*
So anyway, what I find to be the most romantic moment is in the Gigi and Alex storyline. Gigi, as I have said before, is a little boy-crazy and has had many bad relationships. In her chance meeting of Alex he gives her some stone cold advice. If he isn’t marrying you, he won’t marry you. If he isn’t calling, he won’t call. If he goes out of town and doesn’t call, end it he doesn’t care about you as he can always call. You can pretty much summarize it up in this one key sentence:
Alex: So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn’t give a s***, he genuinely doesn’t give a s***. No exceptions.
So Gigi continues to ask him for advice, they become friends, and then Gigi falls for him hard. She believes he likes her too, but when she makes a move Alex turns her down fast. Gigi is made but lectures him about how she makes mistakes but believes in love and will keep trying to find her “perfect match”.
So, the most romantic part is at the end. Gigi has just gotten back from her blind date that Alex set her on when there is a knock at the door. To her surprise it is Alex!
Alex has been destroyed since her turned Gigi down. He can’t sleep, eat, his focus is off. He realized the mistake he made and came to tell Gigi how he feels.
Gigi: [opens the door, thinking it’s Bill] Did you forget something?
Alex: Yeah…
Gigi: Really? What did you forget?
Alex: [pulls out a promotional pen from his pocket] This.
Gigi: So you came all the way here at 11 o’ clock in the night to give me a promotional pen?
Alex: Yeah… Yeah, I did. I thought I would come up with some really great excuse to get over here. That’s how it’s done, right?
Gigi: [smiles] Sometimes.
Alex: Look, I can’t stop thinking about you. I… It’s a problem. I drive by your place; I call and hang up; I’ve turned into…
Gigi: Me.
Alex: Yeah.
Gigi: A wise person once told me that if a guy wants to be with a girl, he will make it happen, no matter what.
Alex: That’s true.
Gigi: But when I was hurling my body onto yours, you did not seem to want to make it happen.
Alex: Okay, yeah, here’s the thing about that… You were right. I’d gotten so used to keeping myself at a safe distance from all these women and having the power that, that I didn’t know what it felt like when I actually fell for one of them… I didn’t know.
Gigi: Look, I just went out with your friend Bill. He might be just exactly what I need. No drama, he calls; he does what he says…
Alex: [stepping closer] I can do that stuff too…
Gigi: But you didn’t! And that same wise person told me that I’m the rule. That I have to stop thinking that every guy will change, that I have to stop thinking that…
Gigi: [Alex kisses her, she smiles]… I’m the exception…
Alex: [whispers]You are *my* exception.
[they kiss again]
Awwww! That moment is so romantic.
How romantic
The fact that he listened to her to do his approach the same way that Gigi did it earlier when she was trying to meet up with Connor. The fact that he was willing to share how he feels with her! And that he told her You’re My Exception, after telling her she wasn’t an exception she was a rule. To reenforce that she is special, ah, just unbelievably perfectly sweet.
This part became doubly romantic when I found out that it was a true story. I couldn’t believe it! 😀 This last spring I found the book He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys, when I was stacking books at the library. The book was written by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, and is really good. Anyone who has been in or will be in a relationship in the future should read it.
The character Alex was based on Greg; especially the story of the exception. It was so sweet reading about how when he met his wife everything changed, he changed.
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