Jane in Love

Happy Valentine’s Day

So today is Valentine’s Day and usually this would be the 14th romantic moment, but as I didn’t do that this year and decided to post something else instead:

This book was given to me by a friend, she knows me so well.

I read it in January, but I decided to wait on the review as I have mixed feelings about this book. Half of it I liked and the other half I didn’t.

Hmm…

So Jane in Love tells of two stories: Jane Austen and Sofia Wentworth. Jane Austen has not written any of her novels yet, but is living in Bath with her parents as they are trying to match her up. She meets a charming man, her last chance, and falls for him, but he gets engaged to someone else. She is upset and embarrassed when a neighborhood women tells her to travel to an address in London, where her dreams will come true.

Broken dreams, illusions, hopes, etc.

Hurt, upset, vulnerable she does it and is given a spell. Once completed, she travels forward to 2020 where she ends up on the set of a new adaption of Northanger Abbey. She runs into the star of the show, Sofia Wentworth.

Sofia Wentworth is a British Hollywood star-famous for being Batwoman and other sexy powerful women. But now she is 37 and the young starring roles are no longer being offered to her. Instead, she is getting older roles. This Northanger Abbey production is extra painful as she was not given the starring role of Catherine but instead Mrs. Allen, the girl Courtney Smith playing Catherine is also replacing her as Batgirl, her husband is the director and has left her for another woman, and she can’t leave the production or she will have to pay a big fee.

Truth is, Sofia doesn’t really want to leave the production. She wants to be in it to try and win her husband back! When she runs into Jane Austen she thinks that it is a practical joke. She had suggested a behind-the-scenes Jane Austen tie-in and it was denied. She thinks that they decided to do it and not tell her, some joke of her husband to try and upset her into signing the divorce papers. She takes Jane Austen with her, thinking she is an actress and there are cameras following her-having her stay with her and her brother Fred Wentworth.

Eventually, Sofia believes that Jane is Jane Austen and tries to help her find a way back, getting help from an adorable librarian, Dave Croft, as she has very little science fiction knowledge. But as she is doing that Fred puts the moves on Jane and Jane starts wondering if she should go back.

But the longer she stays the more her novels disappear. If she stays she will have love but never be able to write again (the exchange of the spell). But if she goes she will kiss her only chance at true love, marriage, and family good bye. Should she go and write her timeless tales, or should she stay and marry Fred?

At a crossroads (from Pocahontas)

So let’s start with what I love:

Sofia Wentworth

Sofia Wentworth’s character and journey was the best part of the book. In fact, I was so intrigued I skipped the Jane Austen romance and skipped ahead so that I could read what happened to her.

Tell ME!!!!!

She was an amazing savvy character who one just felt for. She is in love with her husband, Jack Travers, who has zero appreciation for her except what she brings to him. He loved that she knew movies and could help his productions, he loved that she was attractive and made him look good, he loved how she would take care of everything while he edited his films, and he loved how she would make decisions for the production when he was uncertain.

But he didn’t really love her, and Sofia doesn’t realize it. Although as she continues on this journey with Jane Austen she starts to view herself and her husband differently. She also painfully finds out that the woman her husband has left her for is the same woman she is acting with-her Catherine, Courtney Smith, the very same woman who replaced her as Batgirl.

After meeting Jane and beginning her quest to help her-Sofia starts surrounding herself with positive people, such as Derek who is her makeup person and very encouraging. He helps her stand up to Courtney and reminds her that she isn’t some aging sad person-she is beautiful makeup or no, strong, powerful, and intelligent.

She also meets the librarian, Dave Croft, who helps her on her quest. I loved Dave Croft and the way he treats her as he doesn’t pity her, he doesn’t treat her as an object, or tries to use her to make himself look good. He doesn’t believe her tale of Jane Austen at first, but knows she is seriously upset about something. He doesn’t want anything from her other than to help her as her acting brought relief to his mother when she was ill with cancer. He finds her very attractive, but the first things he compliments on is the person she is.

How sweet!

I loved the part when Sofia classily schools Courtney in acting, that was like best scene ever as I was really hating on Courtney being such a jerk. Or when Courtney tries to embarrass her by setting her up wih the production assistant who was a major yuck! But Dave shows up and rescues her from embarrassment. And Dave completely fires a painful shot right at Jack, the perfect diss! So much fun!

I really liked this as it is so important to surround you by people who will be good friends and help you see the truth, something that can be found in all of Jane Austen’s works. We need good friends-you see the clearest example of that in Emma. Everyone needs a Mr. Knightley.

I also really liked the conversation that Jane and Sofia have about Mrs. Allen. That coupled with the Northanger Abbey audiobook made me think of Mrs. Allen in a different way, Her focus on clothes and fashion, possibly filling a hole of secret sadness. And I’m thinking that sadness is her lack of children, as that is the only thing that consoles her when Mrs. Thorpe talks about her children. And Jane helps Sofia to see that as she is no longer chained to being the hot, sexy vixen-she can now be whatever she wants to be-whoever she wants to be.

Jane’s words even help Sofia be nice to Courtney, a miracle in itself. And hearing Courtney’s complain about her soon to be ex-husband Jack helps Sofia see that Jack is a major jerk. She’s better off without him.

I love Sofia’s care of Jane as well. When Jane is struggling with what to decide, Sofia encourages her in either decision and gives her the possible outcomes of staying or going.

I also loved how Jane is amazed at everything we have in the future from chocolate, to pens, to sugar at such low prices. This inspired me on my week with Jane.

Let’s move on to part II, the part I didn’t care for:

Jane and Fred

I hated this part of the story or how the writer could think their storyline as as “romantic” .

I mean this author has all the fantastic men Austen wrote about and could have used any of them as her foundation, but didn’t. This Fred is horrible, but yet is supposed to have inspired Jane Austen’s novels?

Really?

So first is drunk and sits on Jane in the guest room. Then Fred walks in on Jane showering, even though he could hear the water and she told him it was occupied. And then when she is upset about it he wants to even the score by getting naked for her; wow a real prince. It’s like he super values her opinion. Yeah, right.

I don’t even know why they fall in love. He helped her get to London, gave her money, and taught her to swim. That’s it? She’s in love? Like why?!!!!

And why does Fred like her? Like Jane is awesome but she also has zero knowledge of how anything works-and he doesn’t find that strange or weird?! He doesn’t even wonder about her background, I would. Is she Amish? Was she in a cult? I mean in Kate and Leopold, Kate thought it was strange he didn’t know anything and later she fell in love with his old-fashioned habits. Like he doesn’t find it weird or strange that she doesn’t know about computers, cellphones, is crazy about sugar, etc?

And he he doesn’t even ask about her, her family, or what she wants to do. He knows zero about her and she knows little about him. He has an accident and gets electrocuted, with Jane and him being “in love”, but why. What do they have in common? What do they even enjoy together? They hardly have spent any time together and he asks her to marry him. Flirting is great but that’s what Jane really thinks she should base a marriage on?  The author who cautioned her niece, the one who showed us in countless examples of marrying for beauty or money can lead to unhappiness. The author who showed us that spending time with a person and getting to know who they really are is the best thing? None of her heroines ever rushed into love but either knew the person they married for a while or grew to know them by spending time with them. There is no real timeline but its like a week or two they spend together.

Fred is trying to write a book and Jane encourages him to write more, even sending off the few pages he has to a publisher. But when he gets writer’s block he blows up at her and blames her for everything-all is her fault. He takes off, out all night punishing Jane and leaving her worried and scared that something happened to him, but when he gets home he doesn’t apologize or care that he worried her but just expects her to sleep with him. Like that is textbook emotional abuse, purposely freaking your partner out and making them get worried so when you return the fight you are having is forgotten. Fred is just a horrible boyfriend.

Me to Fred

Like Jane gets so heartbroken and blames herself after his tirade. She starts believing it is her fault and she should have done nothing, then they would have been fine and happy. She then decides to forget all about what she is upset and then calls herself a slave to him. She decides to resign herself over to the only thing she is going to do with her time, is love him. Where did Jane Austen ever write that? All her women were strong women who wouldn’t roll over to be a lapdog. Like where is this coming from?

I also didn’t like that she slept with Fred. First of all the manner it went down with him throwing a tantrum and blaming his problems on her and staying away all day to punish her. Not cool, dude, not cool. But then that Jane had no problems or qualms or regrets over what happened. As a women from Regency time AND the daughter of a minister I feel like she would have had much more complicated feelings about what happened and the decision she made. Not just shrug it off as no big deal.

Fred is also really controlling and doesn’t want Jane gone for a second as he is “afraid” she will leave him. Also not true love and again abusive. She goes for a walk with Sofia and Fred has a meltdown.

And then when Jane wants to return to her time, the only way she can is by the blood from her true love and what does Fred do? He refuses as he wants to force her to stay with him. What a serious jerk! Like this Fred is nothing like Fredrick Wentworth.

And to make things even worse, Fredrick had never even read any Jane Austen books. He was willing to deprive the world of her works and he’s never even read them. What a selfish jerk!

Seriously!

Yeah Jane and Fred’s romance was not good. Give me Sofia and Dave any day.

Sorry to have such a downer of a Valentine’s post. I know to cheer me up I am going to spend the rest of my day with the wonderful Austen men.

Soooo cute!!!!

I hope you all have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, no matter how you spend it. And don’t forget-candy is on sale!

For more Northanger Abbey, go to Northanger Abbey Audiobook Narrated by Anna Massey

For more Persuasion, go to You Ever Notice That The Gossip Girl TV Show is a Lot Like Persuasion?

For more Northanger Abbey adaptions, go to Northanger Abbey (2007)

For more Persuasion adaptions, go to Holiday Mix Tape

For more Jane Austen adaptions, go to Emma Manga

For more Valentine’s Day, go to You Are My Fantasy: Austenland (2013)

This is a Bad One, the Worst Yet. I Need the Old Blade Runner…: Blade Runner (1982)

I need ya, Deck. This is a bad one, the worst yet. I need the old blade runner, I need your magic.

So this movie was reccommended to me by one of my closest friends. She said I would love it. It is a dystopian future film, and you know how I love that…

wow

Plus film-noir, one of my faves!

Has Harrison Ford as the star

Has android/cyborgs:

And the film is about questions of morality, the soul, what it means to be human, is it wrong to create life, etc. You know…

And…

Jurassic Park (1995)

So what did I think if it?

I HATED IT

Huh?

I know-it makes no sense. How can all these elements blend together, and not be something I love? It makes no sense!

So the film is based of the book Do Androids Dream of Electric Sleep? by Phillip K. Dick. It is set in 2019 and follows Rick Deckard, Harrison Ford, who is a bounty hunter hired to “retire” (kill) replicants. Replicants are androids who look like humans with extras -such as speed, agility, and strength. They have no empathy or other emotions and are created for services-mining, sex, etc. Deckard is the best in the business, the “Blade Runner”, and is hired to take down a serious group of runaway replicants-Roy Batty, Zhora, Leon, and Pris.

He visits Tyrell Corp. to speak to the owner and creator of the replicants. Tyrell asks him to talk to his assistant Rachael who is beautiful, intelligent, a femme fatale, and a replicant. So good she almost fools him.

I didn’t think she was a very compelling character. I also didn’t get the relationship between the two-I didn’t feel any chemistry. I thought Rachael was very robotic and lost in the eyes.

Meh.

The rest of the story has Deckard trying to track down these killers-while we also see their side of everything. They want to live and as people-not four years on the outerplanet mines where they are worn out, or used for sex/to excite people. Life is not good for them and they want better.

In theory it should be good, but I just did not get into it. The visuals were good, but the people- I didn’t feel their emotions. I know a lot love it, but for me it was a complete wash.

To start Horrorfest VII from the beginning, go to It’s the End of the World: The Birds (1963)

For the previous post, go to The Witch’s Curse: Murder She Wrote (1992)

For more film-noir, go to You Don’t Know Which Way to Turn, There’s No Place to Hide, Nowhere to run…: The Blue Gardenia (1953)

For more dystopian futures, go to It Was a Pleasure to Burn: Fahrenheit 451 

For more cyborgs, go to For Darkness Shows the Stars

For more Harrison Ford, go to I Know You Can Do This: Working Girl (1988)

For more bounty hunters, go to I Only Care That You Succeed: How I Met Your Mullet, Raising Hope (2014)

Book Club Picks: A Wrinkle in Time

So I have fallen waaaay behind with my posts, but as you know I started a book club last year:

Every month we read a book and I do a little post on the book we read and discussed.

There is no theme, other than with each month, a different member gets to pick a book, whichever one they want. It was my turn to pick again and after doing a mystery in The Secret of Chimneys and an altered classic/romance in The Darcy MonologuesI wanted to do something different. So I decided on a fantasy/science fiction and what better than my favorite book as a kid that is going to be a movie soon:

A Wrinkle in Time (The Time Quartet #1) by Madeleine L’Engle

I loved this book so much as a kid. I used to go to the library and check it out again and again and again. After constantly doing that, my mom finally bought me the book so I had my own. It came in a set with the remaining three books-A Wind in the Door, A Swiftly Tilting Planet, and Many Waters.

This is the book that started the whole time quartet series. In this book the Murry family has moved to New England. Many people are wary of them as both Mr. and Mrs. Murry are scientists. Mr. Murry is often called upon to go to Washington D.C for the President or Pentagon. He left for a trip about a year ago, and has yet to return. Many think he abandoned the family, but his wife and children have faith that he will return. Meg is the oldest, she wears glasses and braces and thinks herself unattractive.

She has a lot of problems making friends as she has a temper,

What???!!!

she also has issues in school as the math is too far below her.

After Meg are the twins, Alexander (Sandy) and Dionysus (Dennys). Both the twins excel in sports, school, and friendship. Last is Charles Wallace, only five years old and a genius. He tries to hide it, but still can’t pass off being “normal.”

One dark and stormy night; three women come in with the wind and set Meg, Charles Wallace, and a popular boy from school, Calvin O’Keefe on quite the adventure. Mrs. Which, Mrs. Who, and Mrs,Whatsit tells the trio that they need them in order to save Mr. Murry who is caught in the 5th dimension.

Help me! I’m confused!

This adventure takes them on a ride through psychics, time travel, tessering, and other planets.

The best characters in this are Meg and Calvin. Besides being intelligent, Calvin is also caring and compassionate. When Meg and Charles become his friend, his loyalty and care with protecting them knows very little bounds. And when Meg has problems controlling her temper; Calvin is able to help her realign her feelings and help her express kindness toward others.

*swoon*

Then we have Meg, oh my gosh we are just the same. Meg has a hard time connecting with people her own age as in many ways she is older, younger, and the same. She has a bad temper, is stubborn, willful, loyal, caring, compassionate, and will defend her friends/family until the end.

Amazing!

One of the best things of this book is two messages- one being, be happy in who you are. Meg is always trying to change herself, but her faults and personality are the things that can help them in this battle. She was designed that way, even though she might not like herself-she was needed to be herself in order to save everyone.

And that love can defeat everything. Love, real powerful Love.

In fact, Meg actually embodies all three of those-faith, hope, love-and uses them to battle the black thing.

It is a fantastic book that has been such a big part of my life!

And you should definitely check it out!

For more book club picks, go to Book Club Picks: A Light in the Window

For more Madeleine L’Engle, go to Let It Go

For more on A Wrinkle in Time, go to The Wearing of the Green: 17 More Irish Heroes

For more C.S. Lewis quotes, go to You Know You Really Love Tea When…

For more bible verses, go to Book Club Picks: A Voice in the Wind

For Darkness Shows the Stars

darknessshowsthestars

For Darkness Shows the Stars (For Darkness Shows the Stars #1) by Diana Peterfreund

So I picked this book up as you know I will review anything Austen. I thought it was going to be about Pride and Prejudice as most are, but it surprised me and was about Persuasion instead.

persuasion

Persuasion was published in 1818 after Austen’s death, alongside Northanger Abbey. Out of all the Austen works, these two seem to have the least amount of fans and notice.

It is sad they don’t have more.

I have always found that strange as I love both of these novels.

Even though it isn’t as loved by people, Persuasion has had two films made of it and a lot of it is based on Austen’s feelings of her first love and a wish fulfillment of being reunited.

Anyways, just in case you’ve never heard of it (and as I have yet to work through it as I am still stuck on Emma) I think we need a quick review.

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Anne Elliot and Fredrick Wentworth fall in love. He asks her for her hand in marriage, but Anne’s father refuses. Anne is unsure and goes to a family friend for advice; as her mother is dead, her father lives in his own world, and her sisters don’t care. This family friend persuades her to say no as Anne is above him in station, Fredrick has no options for promotion (as his family can’t procure it), the likelihood of him dying and living Anne a penniless widow (as her father will leave her nothing) is very high, and the two are so young.

Hmm…

Anne goes to Fredrick and refuses, him becoming angry as he thinks it is just because of his lack of money and station. (In Anne’s defense the real thing that made her unsure was the stressing of him most likely being killed and her being left alone.)

Years pass, Anne has never seen Fredrick again or stopped loving him. She had other men interested, but refused them as she didn’t love them.

What has changed is the Elliot family fortune, her father and older sister have blown through their money so fast that they are being forced to let out their home to a sea Admiral. A Captain Admiral Croft and his wife, Mrs. Croft. Mrs. Croft who turns out to be Fredrick Wentworth’s sister!

Anne goes to stay with her sister, Mary Musgrove, for a while, while her other sister and father are staying in Bath, with Anne to join them later.

When she is staying with Mary, Fredrick Wentworth returns to visit his sister and husband. Now a Captain, he has also become extremely wealthy; having taken so many risks in the war that he excelled monetarily and was promoted. Captain Wentworth is searching for a wife, and is funny and kind to all; but Anne.

It appears that old hangups remain so. Will Wentworth and Anne be reunited? Will Wentworth marry another?

You have to read the book!

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

So this science-fiction/Fantasy book takes place in the not too distant future…

Sorry, anyways…there were advancements in technology, so much that they were able to do DNA procedures to make your body excel in ways previously unimaginable, almost cyborg like.

These DNA procedures cause a war between people who believe this is not what God wants, and those who believe that the pursuit of science is the only answer. Unfortunately, they discover they did not know everything, as many of these experiments go wrong as people lose a majority of their faculties.

After wars, bombing, and a complete restructuring of the world they know, the people are divided into two groups: Luddites and the Reduced.

Like the class system in Metropolis.

Luddites are the royalty and own all the land, they care for the Reduced in a feudal system/slave system as the Reduced are tied to the land, but more extensively like slaves, yet not traded and sold as slaves are. Reduced are mutes, who aren’t in complete control of their faculties, need to be supervised, etc.

Recently, things have been shifting as there are “Reduced” who are born very intelligent, able to speak, often called “Children of the Reduced” or “CORs”, and “Post-Reduced” or “Posts” by themselves.

Our main character is Elliot North (Anne Elliot) a wealthy Luddite, one of the oldest Luddite families. She, her father, and sister have a farm; but it is going downhill as her father and sister don’t care about the people, the farm, long term care, but only themselves and what they want. For instance her father has cut down all their apple trees for a “better view” or destroyed Elliot’s planted field for a racetrack.

Elliot tries hard to keep things running, to take her mother’s place, but finds herself drowning in the debt her father and sister, Tatiana North, create. In fact, they have had to rent out her grandfather’s, Chancellor Boatwright, home and ship yard to a set of wealthy free Posts- Admiral Innovation, his wife Dr. Felicia Innovation and their crew: Captain Malakai Wentforth, Andromeda Phoenix, and Donovan Phoenix.

Not good

Elliot’s only solace is the barn, where she would work on her plans, and relive her memories with her old friend, the boy she loved, and Post; Kai. Since she has lost her field and all her months of hard work, nothing seems right. But there is plenty to do on a farm.

When the Innovations and their crew arrive, Elliot finds herself admiring and enjoying the company of the Innovations and the crewman Donovan. Andromeda doesn’t seem to like her one bit, although Elliot has no clue what she could have done to upset her. However, everything changes when she meets Captain Malakai Wentforth. It appears it is her old friend and love has returned-Kai (Captain Fredrick Wentworth).

Years ago the two forged a friendship, (despite her father’s constant striving to keep them apart), a friendship that turned into love. The two made plans to run away together, but in the end Elliot couldn’t do it. She knew she had to fulfill her promise to her mother and take care of the farm and the Posts. She wrote Kai a letter:

Dear Kai,

Please do not hate me. I couldn’t bear it if you hated me.

                      But I cannot go with you.

                      I thought I could. Last night, I thought everything was possible. I thought you were right, that there was nothing for me here, either. Mother’s dead, Grandfather’s locked in his own head, and you’re leaving. Why in the world should I stay? It was a beautiful dream. But outside your room, outside the barn, in the cold light of morning, I realized that was all it was. A dream. There is nothing for me here, but that doesn’t mean I am nothing to the North estate.

                     Today, when I was supposed to be packing, I wandered the estate. I watched the Posts in their little cottages, I watched the Reduced in the fields, and I thought about our lots in life.

                    We can’t escape who we are born to be, Kai. The Reduced are Reduced. They will always be Reduced. And I will always be a Luddite. I was born this way. I will die this way. I can’t turn my back on that. Luddites were handed a sacred trust-we are the caretakers of humanity. Without us, the world would have burned, and all mankind would have been destroyed. I cannot ignore that. I cannot forget who I am.

                    But you are not a Luddite.

                    That’s why I cannot go with you. And also why I can’t ask you to stay.

                     God be with you.

Yours,

Elliot

 Elliot’s feelings for Kai resurface but he wants nothing to do with her.

He is rude, cruel, cynical, and nasty around her. He spends a lot of time with their neighbors, the Groves-Horatio and his younger sister Olivia. Olivia has fallen for Kai, and to Elliot’s utter disappointment it looks like he feels the same way.

Noooo!

But Elliot cannot focus on that only as her long lost cousin, Benedict and air to the North estate, returns eager to regain control of the promised land, her grandfather grows more ill, and her father tries to engage her in even more power plays.

During one of her free moments, she joins Andromeda, Kai, Donovan, Olivia, and Horatio on an outing to the sea cliffs. Kai and Donovan jump from incredible distances, and Andromeda explains that they recognize the wind shifts because of their piloting expertise. As they continue, Elliot realizes something is not right.

When Olivia tries to do the jump, she falls and is horribly injured. While they try and help her, Elliot realizes that Kai is hiding a big secret, one that could destroy everything.

Not good

Once again Eliot finds herself at a fork in the road. Should she follow the man she loves? Or cling to her Luddite responsibilities.

***Spoiler Warning***

I thought it was pretty good story and interpretation of Jane Austen’s Persuasion. Having Wentworth as a slave/serf rather than lower standing put a completely new spin on the relationship.

I liked how in between the time of the novel, there were letters and notes their younger selves passed, giving us a view of how their relationship started.

Aw!

It doesn’t follow the book exactly, but the author did a good job in staying true to the core of the story, while at the same time doing her own thing.

Good job!

Now there are two things I didn’t like.

First, I didn’t like how the author inserted God to create conflict between those who wanted change and mutation and those who wanted things to remain the same. The insertion wasn’t really what bothered me as much as the author not really giving us a stand on how our main character felt. One of the laws is to not try to play with genetics as you are raising yourself for a a fall, messing with things you shouldn’t control, etc. As much as the main character struggles with her ideas and wondering if they are against God, we never see what her relationship to God is. Is she extremely devout? Who or What is her God? What exactly do they believe in their religion? She brings it up constantly, but we never really know why this is such an issue to her because the author chooses to ignore it. We never see her pray, attend church, do any type of worship, etc. In my opinion you either need to go all the way or just leave it out; no in-between.

The second thing that bothered me was how mean Kai was in this. I mean he was horribly cruel. Now in Persuasion she doesn’t really explain herself as to way she refuses him, so he draws his own conclusions. I this Kai knows! He knows that she needs to help care for the people! He knows how her father and sister are, and without Elliot they would be cruel, starve everyone, and run the whole farm down into the groumd! Yet even though he knows this, he is so horrible to her. I understand why the author made him that way, and it completely makes sense as to character to behave in such a way. But it makes it hard to read as he acts like a jerk, before he finally comes to his senses.

But otherwise I thought it was an excellent read and one of the better Austen reinterpretations on the market. I suggest you check it out for yourself.

For more on Persuasion, go to What Would Jane Do?: Quips and Wisdom from Jane Austen

For more Persuasion variations, go to Captain Wentworth’s Diary

For more books based on Jane Austen, go to Suspense & Sensibility (Or First Impressions Revisited)

Someone Has Erased His Memory: Total Recall (1990)

totalrecall

 I’ve been trying to tell you, someone has erased his memory.

Your mind is the center of your being. It not only houses all the functional elements to keep your body going, but your memories. Inside your mind is the essence of yourself, the one place where you wear no mask, where you think your darkest thoughts, your happiest views, etc.

But what if you were to lose that all one day. What if everything you thought about yourself didn’t exist? What if you weren’t really you, but someone else?

OMG gasp

That my friends is Total Recall.

totalrecall

So yes, I’ve decided to review on of the most known, discussed, and debated films in history. This film has a little of everything action-adventure, horror, spy thriller, and science-fiction.

The film is based on the short story by Philip K. Dick, We Can Remember It for You Wholesale. The script was purchased in 1974, but then tabled as they felt they didn’t have effects needed to make the film. Ten years later, the team was once again discussing the possibility of the film.

What?

Of course it took a little while longer to get everything moving, but in the late 1980s they were ready to roll. One person who was all for moving it forward was Arnold Schwarzenegger. He had loved the idea and wanted to star in it, but unfortunately they didn’t want him.

Whattheheck

Weird right? By know Arnold was a big star; having Conan the Barbarian, Conan the Destroyer, The Terminator, Red Sonja, Commando, Predator, and The Running Man all under his belt. Often times if he wanted something, he got it.

But strangely, the company preferred Patrick Swayze.

weird

They started filming in Australia, but before they got too far, the company went bankrupt. Arnold convinced Mario Kassar to purchase the script, it undergoing some changes; and before you know it Arnold is given the main role. And it wouldn’t have been nearly as good without him.

So let’s move onto the film.

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

The film start out with two people climbing the Martian landscape; a brunette and Arnold’s character. As the two are walking, he trips and falls, cracking open his face mask.

black cauldron

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But then he wakes up. It was all a dream.

Yes this is Douglas Quaid (played by Arnold Schwarzenegger), a construction worker living in the world 2084. And this isn’t the first time he’s dreamed of Mars or had such nightmares. No this internal horror has been going on for a while.

StarWarsBadDream

His wife Lori, (played by Sharon Stone), tries to get him to spill about what happened and who he was with, but Quaid doesn’t want to talk about it.

They move on with their daily routine; Quaid tuning on the TV and hearing about the rebellion happening on Mars. The mayor Vilos Cohaagen, owns the mines on Mars that house the mineral needed to run everything.

Dunecat

No, but the thought did cross my mind. People on Mars pay for their air, and lately the rebels have been lead by a psychic mutant, Kuato, to try and win more freedom, air, etc.

Even though things aren’t very nice and downright dangerous on Mars, Quaid really wants to visit. He’s tired of his boring life and yearns for excitement or adventure. Lori doesn’t want to go to Mars and nixes that idea. Instead of arguing, Quaid heads out to work.

DayRuinedbyRespnsibility

While on the subway commuting to work, he sees an ad for the agency Rekall. They implant memories of trips in your mind, it’s like going but for a fraction of the price.

The idea starts growing in Quaid’s mind. Maybe he should do it. He asks his friend Harry about what he thinks, but Harry tries to dissuade him from going.

Douglas Quaid: Ever heard of Rekall? They sell those fake memories.

Harry: Oh, “Rekall, Rekall, Rekall.” You thinking of going there?

Douglas Quaid: I don’t know, maybe.

Harry: Well, don’t. A friend of mine tried one their “special offers,” nearly got himself lobotomized.

Douglas Quaid: No s***?

Harry: Don’t f*** with your brain, pal. It ain’t worth it.

Douglas Quaid: I guess not. [Continues jackhammering, Harry watches in disbelief]

But Quaid can’t stop thinking about it. And he decides to go to Rekall. When he gets there he is at first hesitant about the trip, but the salesman McClane reassures him that the implants will be so real he won’t know the difference. Guaranteed fantastic experience or your money back.

Really?

Really?

Quaid decides to risk it and starts filling out the forms for his trip to Mars, but the salesman isn’t finished with the deal. For a bit extra they can improve the experience by altering his identity.

So here we go, one secret agent coming up. As they start the process, things don’t go quite as well as expected.

totalrecall3

Quiad freaks out insisting that they blew his cover as a spy. McClane believes that it was an implantation gone wrong, but the doctor insists that it can’t be.

Dr. Lull: [after Quaid goes crazy at Rekall] Listen to me, he’s been going on and on about Mars. He’s really been there.

Bob McClane: Use your head, you dumb b****! He’s just acting out the secret agent portion of his Ego Trip.

Dr. Lull: I’m afraid that’s not possible.

Bob McClane: Why not?

Dr. Lull: Because we haven’t implanted it yet!

They fear for their lives as messing something up that “The Agency” set up could be bad for them all. They scrub his mind clean and dump him in a cab.

When Quaid wakes up he doesn’t remember anything, but that doesn’t mean people aren’t after him. From his best friend Harry:

[Harry pulls gun on Quaid]

Douglas Quaid: What the hell is going on? What the f*** did I do wrong? Tell me!

Harry: You blabbed, Quaid! You blabbed about Mars!

Douglas Quaid: Are you crazy? I don’t even know anything about Mars!

Harry: You should have listened to me, Quaid. I was there to keep you out of trouble.

Douglas Quaid: Harry, you’re making a big mistake. You got me mixed up with somebody else.

Harry: Uh-uh pal, you got yourself mixed up with…

[Quaid kicks him in the chest, commencing the fight]

To his wife Lori:

Quaid doesn’t quite know what is going on, but is out to find out. He ends up fleeing and being contacted by a “friend” who gives him a suitcase of tools to help him. But he has to hurry as the Agency are following him by GPS.

Getting out of here

Getting out of here

He exchanges gunfire but manages to get away. This scene with the taxi driver, the Johnnycab, is my favorite scene. It expresses my feelings for most machines.

[Quaid enters a Johnnycab to escape from killers]

Johnnycab: Please state the street and number.

Douglas Quaid: Drive! drive!

Johnnycab: I’m not familiar with that address. Would you please repeat the destination?

Douglas Quaid: Anywhere just go! Go!

Johnnycab: I’m not familiar with that address. Would you please repeat the destination?

Douglas Quaid: S***! S***!

Johnnycab: Would you please repeat the destination?

Douglas Quaid: [Quaid rips the Johnnycab out and starts to drive himself] Aaahhh!

totalrecallmachinedestroy

When he manages to get away, he opens the suitcase given to him and finds a message from HIMSELF!

Hauser: Howdy, stranger! This is Hauser. If things have gone wrong, I’m talking to myself and you have a wet towel around your head. Now, whatever your name is, get ready for the big surprise. You are not you, you’re me.

Douglas Quaid: [to himself] No s***.

Hauser: All my life, I worked for Mars Intelligence, I did Cohaagen’s dirty work. But then I met someone, a woman. She taught me a few things, like I was playing for the wrong team. All I can do now is make up for it. You see…[Points to his head]…there’s enough s*** in here to f***Cohaagen good. But if you’re hearing this, it means is that he’s got to me first. Now, here comes the hard part, old buddy. Now it is all up to you.

Douglas Quaid: [displeased] Great…

Hauser: Now, let’s start by getting that bug out of your head. [Shows the nose deviceTake this out of the case, and stick it up your nose. Don’t worry, it’s self-guiding. Just shove real hard.

[Quaid takes a deep breath, and sticks the nose device up his nose.]

Hauser: When you hear a crunch, you’re there. Now, pull it out. Be careful! That’s my head, too.

[Quaid screams in pain while Hauser grins, then Quaid pulls out the bug]

Hauser: This is the plan. Get your a** to Mars, and go to the Hilton Hotel and flash the fake Brubaker I.D. at the front desk, that’s all there is to it. Just do as I tell you. You can nail that son of a b**** that f***** you and me. I’m counting on you, old buddy. Don’t let me down!

So Quaid finds himself in disguse headed for the red planet.

Once he gets there he finds himself caught up in figuring out what he knew and was trying to do, and to who’s side is he really on.

But as you watch this their is one question. Is this real? Or just the trip he paid for? He he really a secret agent? Or did his implants go malfunction?

Hmm...

Hmm…

I won’t reveal anymore as this is a film you need to check out for yourself.

halloween banner

Of course our facebook cover/mini poster.

1990TotalRecall

halloween banner

To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to Haunted Harmonies of Halloween: Top 5 Songs to Play on Halloween

halloween banner

For more on Arnold Schwarzenegger, go to I’ll Be Back: The Terminator (1984)

For more Horror-Scifi films, go to They’re Here Already! You’re Next!: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)

For more films based on a book, go to What Are the 39 Steps?:The 39 Steps (1935)