My First Boyfriend is a Monster!…Literally: Sleepwalkers (1992)

My first boyfriend is a monster…literally

So a few months ago my friend ad I were watching Tommy Boy and I commented that the Rob Lowe character and his mother, were not really mother and son because they were too close. She said they could be weird like the mother and son in Sleepwalkers. I wasn’t quite sure what she was talking about and then I remembered it, sort of. I couldn’t remember much, I know I saw it or part of it on TV and there were cats involved or people who turn into were-cats?

UHHHHHHHH!!!!

So when it came to pick what Stephen King film to review, our conversation popped in my head and I decided for it to be my yearly Stephen King pick. Here we go…

So we start off with the definition of Sleepwalkers:

“Sleepwalker noun. Nomadic shape-shifting creatures with human and feline origins. Vulnerable to the deadly scratch of the cat. The sleepwalker feeds upon the life force of virginal human females. Probable source of the Vampire legend.”

We then start of on a beach with police officers, I’m getting Jaws flashbacks.

A mother and son is missing, they go to the house and OMG! Cats are hung everywhere this is horrible. This is the most horrible thing I have ever seen. I know its not real but it made me cry. I can’t watch dead cats.

***SKIP***

We have the titles and Mädchen Amick is in this. Mädchen was Shelly in Twin Peaks, I’m’ a major fan of the original show. She is such a pretty lady, many of you will recognize her as Mrs. Cooper in Riverdale.

We see a lot of cat imagery from the Egyptians in this-cats, cat people, shape shifters, etc. The only thing I don’t understand is that if they turn into cats why did they kill them? Shouldn’t they love and adore cats like in Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island. That’s a great movie.

So we are in Travis, Indiana. A shirtless guy is looking at a yearbook and listening to 1950s music on a record, then he cuts his skin, weird. He cuts a “T” for Tanya Robertson (Mädchen Amick) which has a heart doodled around it.

Oh no, a cat is sniffing around a house, there is a trap, oh no! Please not the cat.

Yes, it was okay. If this film is just about cat killing I’m not going to watch it. I’m serious, I’ll just shut it off.

He dances with an older lady…who turns out to be his mom and they are so creepy. Too close, too much like lovers. Ew, ew OMG they are kissing. No wonder I blocked this movie out. Incest and killing cats, this is the worst movie ever.

***SKIP***

Tanya is working late at the movies, dancing out to The Condors “Do You Love Me”.

Tanya is interrupted by Charles Brady (Brian Krause) the creepy guy who’s sleeping with his mom. He gets popcorn and a drink and asks to give Tanya a ride home. She turns him down, good for her, but then when he is all hurt and leaving she stops him and welcomes him to town. NOOOO Tanya, run away.

Her add picks her up, but creepy Charles is watching. It is midnight and ominous music plays while the bell tolls. Let’s see what creepy thing he does…nothing. His mom does call animal control as they attract a ton of cats. You know, between this and Cat’s Eye Stephen King just seems to love hatimg cats. Like they aren’t treated as sad deaths like the dog in Secret Window. They are treated as nothing.

So Charles is jealous and wants attention from her son, ew.

The next day Charles reads a creepy gross story about Sleepwalkers. I don’y know why Tanya is into him-that story is awful, he’s creepy, and he’s not that cute.

Ugh…

Tanya says she likes it, why?

The teacher liked the story, but seems to hate Charles, creeping on him from a window. Why?

Oh, wow…

Her friends make fun of her for “just talking” to Charles and not sleeping with hum…I have to say these friends are not good. They shouldn’t be encouraging you to sleep with a total stranger! They should be more concerned for your health and mental well-being.

The worst!

Charles offers to give her and her friends a ride and they refuse to give him and Tanya time togheter. Charles thanks Tanya for her kind words and she thanks him for writing such a great piece. Gag me! Tanya, come on-have some more respect for yourself.

Tanya takes Charles into her house and her mom has gravestone rubbings framed, so cool! She also takes him to her room and shows him her pictures, He wants to see how she takes photos, and she invites him to join her tomorrow when she takes pictures.

From Clueless

Mom interrupts them, good-he’s creepy don’t get involved Tanya. Mom is very suspicious of him, even more after he says he is a gravestone rubber too. I like this mom, she grills the boy and seems to care a lot about her child. Her mom sense must be tinging as she does not like this boy. This surprised me as most parents in a horror film are either checked out or just comedic effect.

Later, the teacher pulls Charles over, weird. Why is he following him? The teacher threatens him, not letting him get out of the car. He knows Charles is lying and is confronting him, why? Why didn’t he just go to the principal? The teacher actually slams the door on Charles hand-blackmailing him not for money as he wants a “different” exchange? Was the teacher trying to get Charles to be with him? I am so confused?

And of course Charles being a monster, rips the hand of the teacher and chases him in the woods and eats him. This whole scene is so odd and weird.

In the next scene we see a deputy and he is playing with his cat. It is so cute! Clovis the attack cat.

It makes me think of that book series Boris and Lil. Lil was the Sheriff and Boris the cat her deputy. Anyways the deputy sees Charles speeding , almost running down a girl, and follows to stop him. Yeah, Charles is crazy. Too bad Tanya didn’t see that.

Clovis meows at Charles and he becomes afraid morphing to a Catperson, Werecat. So cats scare them and can see their true form? I still find this weird as you think a Cat monster would like cats. Charles also has magic that makes him and his car invisible? Why? What?

What??

Clovis still sees it, no Clovis stay in the car-don’t get hurt. I swear, if another cat dies I’m turning this movie off.

Seriously!

Clovis tries to tell Deputy Andy, but humans can’t understand cats and they drive away.

And Charles turned his car from a blue pontiac to a red mustang. How? How does werecat magic allow you to do that?

WHAT??!!

Later the deputy tries to tell the others, what he saw but he can barely make sense of it. Poor guy, can you imagine trying to tell people you saw a cat person?

Aw, Clovis has her own cute little bed in a file area. Oh my gosh, Clovis is so adorable. She is the best part of this movie. I’m only watching for you Clovis. Andy and Clovis are so adorable, the best characters in this movie.

Back to the creepy incest mom is in a nightgown and lighted candles. Ew, them kissing. This movie is so gross. Stephen King has problems.

Mom starts smacking her son because he didn’t her the girl. They need to feed ASAP. He shares about what happened with the teacher and they are now on an expedited course to get food for mom, they are running out of time. They want Tayna because she is a pure soul (virgin)

More cats come around the house, they watch the house and plot.

I like that the cats are the heroes, they see these people for what they really are and try to stop then. Often cats are bad in stories, so its nice to see them protecting.

Ew, they are together!

***SKIP***

You know this movie is just weird and gross. I’m skipping to Clovis.

So Tonya and Charles on their date, he woges and attacks Tanya, she got away from him and runs screaming for help-right to Deputy Andy. Deputy Andy puts Tanya in his car, and goes to fight Charles who attacks him. No-not Andy!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Charles attacks Tanya, needing to feed and Andy shoots Charles who is fine and he kills Andy. Aw man, 20% of the characters I liked are gone (Deputy Andy, Clovis, Tanya, Tanya’s Mom, & Tanya’s Dad).

Clovis comes in and saves Tanya by jumping on Charles and that makes him fizz like Alka Seltzer. Tanya locks herself in the car an tries to use the radio. Charles gets in his pontiac and drives off. Aw, Clovis goes to Andy’s side and lays on him. What will happen to Clovis now? Who will take care of her?

There are more cats in the Brady yard, but Charles makes it through. His mom tries to heal him-you think they would just leave town and the movie could end here, but I’m guessing there is more to come. Oh no Mom wants to stay. Darn. Why? It makes more sense for them to leave as they have been “discovered”.

So annoying

Charles tries to “dim” himself-make himself invisible-but it doesn’t work.

Stephen King has a cameo as the groundkeeper for the cemetery. He is not a good actor. Just stop, please.

They question Tonya and she tries to give them the information, but it is all mixed up. Too bad Andy died.

They photograph Tonya, and this is so awful. Victim support is so important-the way they treat her-there are much kinder ways. She has already been through something extremely traumatic.

Poor Tonya “He was very Charming”. We’ve all been there. Boys are the worst.

Tonya hears Clovis and asks for her, as she saved her life, the police promise to bring her later. The police are headed to the house and the mom changes the car to be invisible. How do they have such powers I don’t know. If they can do that, then why don’t they make themselves invisible and sneak on people? This doesn’t make any sense.

Mom makes them invisible as the police storm in and find it “empty”, why? This is dumb, I’ll try not to waste any further brain cells on it.

It’s unimportant.

Ugh the State Trooper is such a misogynist-Captain Soames. He complain about having to watch Tonya, as she just has an overactive imagination and needs a spanking, something he would like to do. Now I don’t know what the age of consent is in Indiana but shouldn’t the commanding officer fire him?

Ugh…

Tonya goes home and takes a bath, her parents are nervous and freaking out. Mom is overcooking, dad worried about her being alone, mom trying to hold it together, both trying to be understanding but not knowing what to do-and Tonya trying desperately to get clean.

I really like the parents in this. These two are some of the best parents in film and TV, they care about their child and react realistically. Especially a situation like this when they are trying to support her but also are freaking out themselves.

Wow!

Police outside are keeping watch with one officer inside. They don’t do a good job as Ma Brady kills them.

The bell rings-no don’t go out dad. Stay alive! Yes you guessed it-Ma Brady.

Ugh!

I love the dad’s reaction as he is angry and about to give Ma Brady a few words to give to Charles about his sorry apology, but Ma Brady takes him out and the officer.

Mom comes running and Ma Brady attacks her too. She wants her to give up their daughter, but she refuses and when she hears that Charles is dying she’s glad-she then picks up a bat to try and take Ma Brady out, but Ma Brady is too strong.

Again, I love the way they did these parents-actual parents.

Tonya is running downstairs and Ma Brady wants her. More police come, but Ma Brady just goes monster on them. Meanwhile Ma Brady has knocked Tonya out and is carrying her off.

That’s not good.

Ma Brady crashes into here house and the cats attack her.  Ma wants Tonya to get with Charles, but she won’t as he’s dead! Ma insists he isn’t and uses her powers to turn the music on. Why? Why have powers if that’s all you do? This is so weird and dumb.

So Charles isn’t dead as Ma Brady wants them to dance and kiss, even though he doesn’t have a face.

Sweet, Clovis is with the Sheriff as he storms into the house. She climbs up a tree and breaks a widow. Yes, Clovis-save the girl, be the cat that Andy believed you could be, and avenge your master!

Charles and Ma look more monster like and Charles tries to feed on Tonya, but she won’t go down easy. Clovis charges into the fray to lead the attack, all the cats start charging in jumping and attacking them-Go cats, go. Take them out.

Charles is dead, Tonya took care of him-but Ma Brady is still kicking. You know they don’t really look like cat people they look like a cross between an alien and the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

NEVER SAY DIE!

Ma throws the sheriff and Tonya runs for the car, trying to find the keys. The Sheriff throws a trap at Ma Brady, which stalls her for a second, but then she kills him too.

Poor Tonya she’s all alone but then Clovis comes back, and leads an attack of 100 cats and they take Ma Brady down. You see, this is why you should always have a cat.

Ma catches on fire and Tonya finally gets the key in and backs away. Poor Tonya, she will never have a normal life. Clovis jumps in the car and Tonya hugs her tight. Aw, I hope Tonya keeps Clovis and takes care of her.

One thing for sure, Tonya will always have a cat.

Yeah, I didn’t like this movie at all except Clovis. She’s the best cat ever!

For more Stephen King, go to I’m Not Into Politics. I’m Into Survival: The Running Man (1987)

For more Werecats, go to No Mere Mortal Can Resist the Evil of the Thriller: Thriller (1983)

For more cats, go to Don’t Go in There! You Don’t Have to Die! No One Has to Die at 30! You Could Live! LIVE!: Logan’s Run (1976)

To Kill a Fangirl

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How do you kill a fangirl? Well there are quite a few ways: Let’s see…1) Kill off their favorite characters/have them leave the series

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

2) Have the wrong people end up together.

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3) Stop writing/take show off the air, especially if it ends without a finale

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4)When the character changes, does things they never would do

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5) When they start repeating the same things over and over

RIP Randy! Love you forever!!!!!!!

6) Season Finale/Last book that just ends, without tying everything up

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I could go on, but that’s not what this post is really about. Instead it is one of my fandom posts, about the fandoms I am in.

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So here we go!

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Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers

POWER RANGERS!!!! HECK YEAH!

I love it

Growing up the Power Rangers were awesome! Regular kids chosen to fight aliens and protect the earth, transforming into the Power Rangers and riding in robots called Zords.

My friends and I used to act out the adventures in the TV show, along with creating our own. My favorite was Kimberly, the pink ranger.

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And I loved Tommy the Green Ranger/Gold Ranger. He first starts off as bad, recruited to destroy the Rangers, but then redeems himself. He ends up losing his powers, and the Green Ranger is gone, coming back as the extremely awesome Gold Ranger. Not only was Tommy the best fighter, with the coolest weapons (eventually becoming the leader) but he was also super hot. I had such a crush on him.

swoon dreamy

They made a movie, The Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers: The Movie, were they had to fight a creature so terrible, Ivan Ooze, he takes down Zordon. I just loved that movie so much as a kid. I used to watch it over and over again.

watch movie over and over

I had the whole film memorized and we used to act it out all the time. In fact I remember getting in trouble once with a parent for dismantling the brooms so that one of us could have the noise sticks that Dulcea uses.

I watched Power Rangers up until Power Rangers: Mystic Force. When Kimberly and Jason left and they brought in Cat, it went down hill for me. The other seasons were alright, but the only one that was any good being Dino Thunder because they brought Tommy back.

I heard they are doing a movie reuniting most of the original cast and I hope they do!

pretty please beg

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The Partridge Family

So if you just read these fandom posts, you probably think I am some immortal being a teen in the ’70s as well as the ’90s; from all these ’70s shows I used to watch. Nope, I’m not a time traveler or vampire, I loved TV LAND, yep I used to watch it back when they showed old TV shows.

This show stared Shirley Jones as Shirley Partridge, widowed mother of five. When her kids want to try a record deal, she goes along and before you know it, they are a hit. They get a manager, a bus, and go touring all over the country.

This show also starred David Cassidy, Jones’ stepson, as the eldest child and heartthrob.

hot pretty sexy

I used to watch it every day and knew all the songs by The Partridge Family by heart. In fact this show had such a huge impact on me, that when I saw David Cassidy was going to be in a new musical series, Ruby & The RockitsIt was horrible writing, but I suffered through for my childhood nostalgia.

NostalgiaforWorldNeverKnown

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 The Rocky Series

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Aw Rocky. How I love you, and all your films. Well, except Creed as I have yet to see it. I started watching these films one 4th of July weekend when AMC had a marathon. I watched one, then another and another and another.

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And I loved them. Sylvester Stallone did a great job with this series.

Rocky (1976)

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So let my start by wishing this film a very happy anniversary as it will be turning 40 on November 21st.

So the film Rocky was Slyvester Stallone’s first film. He was struggling as an actor, homeless, only having $106, and had even sold his dog. When the company was interested he wouldn’t give the script up until they agreed to have him as the star. They declined, but when they couldn’t get the script, they finally agreed.

It was shot in 28 days and had an extremely little budget. Stars had to share rooms, they filmed the street scenes guerilla style and with no permits or extras. Most of the wardrobe was furnished by the actors, and ones purchased were wrong. The lack of money for extras, caused them to rewrite some scenes and make due.

But not only was it nominated for Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actor, Best Screenplay, Best Sound, & Best Original Song; and won Best Picture, Best Director, & Best Film Editing: but it was the highest grossing film of the year. Not bad Stallone, not bad.

So Rocky is the story of Robert “Rocky” Balboa, a man who dreams of becoming a boxer star, going the distance, but has yet to get his chance. He works as an enforcer for a loan shark, but is too nice a guy to actually “enforce”. Everything changes when boxing star Apollo Creed decides that he wants to box an ordinary joe, giving a nobody the chance to be a somebody, and choosing Rocky. While Rocky works out for the chance of a lifetime, he dates his best friend’s sister, Adrian, becoming one of the sweetest couples in film history.

This story is not only amazing uplifting, as everyone can connect to a man trying to achieve his dreams, it has some truly poetic and realistic scenes. Besides the ice-skating with Adrian, and running up the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum (so great it gets parodied again and again), but the fact that Stallone choose to have Rocky loose the fight; showing his achievements in trying to be the true victory is truly poignant and fantastic.

This also had the incredible song, Gonna Fly Now written by Bill Conti as it’s theme. How can you not be inspired when listening to that?

Rocky II

After the first film, Apollo is angry at the way that Rocky held his own against him in the match. Apollo demands a rematch, as he wants to peove that he is the true champ, Rocky just a fluke. Meanwhile, since the fight Rocky has been boosted in popularity. He doesn’t want to fight Apollo again, but due to his goading and Rocky’s lack of money, he agrees. Can he truly go the distance? Can he be a contender?

Rocky III

This is the first of the film series to have a Survivor song in it, this one of course having the amazing Eye of the Tiger.

So it has been three years since Rocky II. Since then Rocky has had successful fights and an increase in wealth for him and his family. As they are unveiling a statue of him, he gets called out by Clubber Lang, played by Mr. T. When Rocky questions Mickey, he discovers that Clubber Lang’s accusations were correct. His fights were handpicked to protect him. Rocky doesn’t want to fight Lang, but when he pushes Mickey and causes him to have a heart attack, dying, Rocky knows he has no other chance then to avenge Mickey’s death. He asks Apollo Creed to train him, and the two team up to get that “eye of the tiger” back.

Rocky IV

Ivan Drago (Dolph Lungren) is a 6’5 Russian Boxer brought to America to promote the U.S.S.R.’s superiority. They throw out a challenge that he can beat anyone, and Apollo agrees to an exhibition match. Apollo arrives with a huge show stopping number done by James Brown. Drago doesn’t take this match as “just an exhibition” and kills Creed. With his best friend dead, Rocky decides he must avenge his death, traveling to Russia to fight Drago there.

Rocky V

After the fight with Drago, Rocky decides to retire from boxing. He had some permanent damage from the fight, and to add to the bad news he lost all his money due to a bad accountant. Rocky turns to training boxers, taking in a young guy off the street, Tommy Gunn. He helps him, and as Gunn starts moving up the ranks he catches the eye of another manager and leaves Rocky behind. Rocky is upset at the betryal, but Adraian tells him that Gunn is not worth it, as he doesn’t have any real heart. Gunn decides the only way to prove his true mettle is to take down Rocky. He tries to get him to fight, but Rocky won’t. When Gunn takes a sock at Paulie, Rocky changes his mind and starts training to cut him down.

Rocky Balboa (Rocky VI)

The sixth film takes place 20 years after the fifth film. One of the reasons Stallone decided to make this film, was that many people were dissatisfied with the ending of Rocky V, as it didn’t have a true wrap up to the series. In this Rocky is a widower, with an Italian resturant. He is in deep grief over the death of Adrian and has a struggling relationship with his son who wishes to be not known as Rocky’s son or have any connection to boxing. He reunites with grown up “Little Marie” from Rocky (1976).  Meanwhile ESPN has done a Deadliest Warrior type show in which they analyze boxers from past, running the stats, victories, and teaming them up with present boxers. When Rocky wins against Mason “The Line” Dixon, Dixon gets enraged and Rocky decides to take up boxing again. This prompts the fight of fights as the two head off.

A lot of people didn’t like this film, but I thought it was a cute shout out to the fans. I loved the way they decided to conclude it. If Rocky had lost the fight, it would have been horrible as no one wants to see an older man get beat up. And if Rocky had won, it would have been unbelievable. Having a tie was not only a call back to the first film’s idea that victory was in trying to achieve your dreams, but also a way to appease all.

As I wrote before I have yet to watch Creed, but I will hit on that when I watch it.

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Scooby-Doo

I LOVED SCOOBY-DOO

I love it

I used to watch Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo, A Pup Named Scooby-DooThe New Scooby-Doo Movies (in which Scooby-Doo meets the Harlarm Globetrotters, Cher, Sonny Bono, Batman, Robin, Josie & the Pussycats, etc.), The New Scooby-Doo, What’s New Scooby-Doo.

My favorite of course was Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?. I used to watch the show all the time and had four birthday parties be Scooby-Doo themed. I had a huge collection of Scooby-Doo toys, from my own mystery machine and multiple Scooby-Doos; to a clock, clothes, books, and almost anything else you can think of.

fangirl casual fan diehard fan consume me love it

I also was a fan of the Scooby-Doo films. I loved Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School, Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf, Scooby-Doo Meets the Boo Brothers, Scooby-Doo! in Arabian Nights, Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island, Scooby-Doo and the Alien Invaders, Scooby-Doo and the Cyber Chase, etc.

I saw the two Scooby-Doo theatrical films and thought they were okay. The first had an alright storyline, but I didn’t like the thought of “real monsters” and felt they didn’t capture the heart of the show. Besides Freddie Prinze Jr. as Fred Jones and Sarah Michelle Geller as Daphne, I was sorely disappointed.

Something is not right!

So let’s talk about the characters:

Fred Jones

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Fred Jones was the leader of the teen group. He was always eager to get involved in a mystery and was a keen observer. His take charge attitude always made him be the one to figure out a plan to catch the cause of the crime, although Scooby or Shaggy’s antics would usually mess them up. He was the “straight man of the group” the one who complimented the crazy antics of Scooby and Shaggy, along with being the rock of the group.

Daphne Blake

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Daphne Blake is often thought of as the beautiful socialite who was only interested in looks and getting kidnapped. That is not true! While Daphne tends to be the one that got captured, if anyone gets kidnapped, it didn’t happen in every episode. She was also ntelligent, proving her worth in solving the crimes, alongside Fred and Velma.

*Fun Fact*-The Mystery Machine was actually Daphne’s 16th Birthday present. Why Fred is the one driving, I don’t know.

Velma Dinkley

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Velma is the brain of the group, being the researcher and the one to find the final clue that ties everything together. Unlike Daphne, she is a more comedic character; having puns and great sarcastic wit. She also was always losing her glasses, struggling to see; they usually found by whatever creature they are hunting or her searching for them causing that creature to trip over her.

Norville “Shaggy” Rogers

Scooby-Doo

Now contrary to popular belief, Shaggy is not a drug addict. The creators of the show were trying to hit every group when they made the show; Fred the jock, Daphne the princess, Velma the brain, etc. As Shaggy can’t be the criminal, because they are solving crimes, they wanted him to be the type of new culture coming out that “surfer-“hey man”-hippieish-type-dude”. Shaggy is a sweet guy that is interested in food and music. He is a scaredy-cat, never wanting to get involved with monsters or criminals, but always there in the final stretch. He and Scooby played the comedic roles, always accidentally getting involved with something, accidentally bringing new evidence to light, or accidentally catching the criminals.

Scooby-Doo

scooby-Doo

Scooby-Doo was adopted by Shaggy and is “his” dog, but in reality Scooby doesn’t even consider himself a dog as he is so advanced. Scooby can talk, think, and loves to eat. He often steals somebody’s meal, typically Shaggy. Scooby is a total coward, but in the end will come through for his friends, as long as he is given a Scooby snack. He assists Shaggy with the comedy, helping them accidentally foil any plans made by the criminals. He and Shaggy are the only characters to appear in every TV show & film.

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For more on Scooby-Doo, go to A Monster Race: Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf (1988)

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For the previous post, go to Portrait of a Fangirl

And Stay tuned for part 19