What Would Jane Do?: Quips and Wisdom from Jane Austen

What Would Jane Do?: Quips and Wisdom from Jane Austen

I received this book for my birthday and thought it was just the cutest thing ever. It has a bunch of quotes from her novels and letters (although a few aren’t labeled correctly and one is from the Pride and Prejudice (2005) film). It is perfect for whenever you are looking for a quick quote or quip.

So the book is split up into ten sections. I’m going to pull a quote from each section.

I.) How to Be Happier Than You Deserve

II.) Good Impressions for Great Ladies

III.) Mistress of Myself

IV.) Check  Yourself, Dear

V.) Get to Know Your Gentleman

VI.) If You Really Like Him

VII.) Intimate Acquaintances

VIII.) Sensible Quips for Every Occasion

IX.) I’d Rather Be With a Book

X.) Looking Back on Important Nothings

For more Jane Austen quotes, go to I Made My Own Teabags

For more Sense & Sensibility, go to Lambie-Pie

For more Emma, go to Candy Girls

For more Northanger Abbey, go to A World of Teas

For more Persuasion, go to Captain Wentworth’s Diary

For more Pride & Prejudice, go to Whether Presentable or Not, I Love Spending Time With You: Episode Four, Pride and Prejudice (1995)

For more Mansfield Park, go to It’s Always Tea Time

Lambie-Pie

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LOL I love this. It’s from the blog The Other Austen which I ran across through pinterest. If you are an Austenite fan, she does some of the funniest posts; although she can take things a little too far for my tastes, just an FYI.

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For more on Sense and Sensibility, go to Candy Girls

For more on Edward Ferras, go to Clear Eyes. Full Hearts. Can’t Lose: Superbowl 50

For more on theotherausten.tumblr.com, go to The Bend and Snap

Pride & Prejudice & Zombies

Day 26) Z is for Zombie: Choose a Zombie Retelling of a Classic Novel

Zombies

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (Pride and Prejudice and Zombies #1) by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith

When I saw what Z stood for I knew that this was going to be the book I was going to review for it. First of all I have read very little Zombie themed books as that is just not really what I am in to. And secondly, pass up a chance to talk about Jane Austen?

Like that's happen

So I remember when this book was first released. It was right as the teen book world was moving out of wizards (Harry Potter) and Vampires (Twlight, Vampire Diaries, Vampire Academy, etc.), and was searching for a new thing to fill this niche. They settled on Zombies.

ZombiefilmsTheWalkinDead

But not just Zombies. They decided to take it one step further and pair it with Jane Austen.

AA_KnightleyDisapproved

And not just her. After this book, almost every classic was getting some kind of overhaul. We had Little Vampire Women, Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters, Jane Eyre: Vampire Slayers, etc.

Bad Sequels psycho-1960-alfred-hitchcock-janet-leigh-pic-21

It was a pretty bad time.

Ew Yuck Gross

Anyways, back to this book. So when it first came out it was a big hit. Everyone was talking about it. Everyone was reading it. The library was backlogged in holds.

ineedthis

I wasn’t really interested until my friend Elise recommended it to me. She really liked it and told me she would let me borrow her book. I was a bit wary as I didn’t understand why Austen needed any “makeover” or “spin” as her books were amazing the way they are. But I’m a sucker for a free book and borrowed it.

blanceTea&Books

I should have remembered:

notwopersonsreadthesamebook

So I read it. And how did I feel afterwards?

Guy you suck!

You suck!

I HATED this book. I thought it was badly done and the parts inserted by Seth Grahame-Smith were horribly written. And a lot of it made no sense.

Whattheheck

But that was seven years ago. Could I still feel the same way?

paris-whenitsizzlesaudreyhmmHepburn

Let’s see!

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13 Days Later

I HATE THIS BOOK!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT IS HORRIBLE! JUST HORRIBLE? HOW CAN PEOPLE LIKE IT? THEY RUIN AUSTEN. Grahame-Smith IS HORRIBLE! EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE. HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

wordICan't say Toy Story

I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT….I could go on for hours.

immatureHowIfeelBones

But you don’t want to hear that over and over, instead let’s dissect everything I hated about this book.

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

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A) So Seth Grahame-Smith takes Jane Austen’s work and doesn’t really write a new story but just swaps out pieces for zombies.

really?

Really?

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B) Mr. Bennet’s Motivation

So the first biggest problem is Mr. Bennet not wanting his daughters married but “engaged in the deadly arts”. But that doesn’t change that the house and money all revert to their cousin because the estate is entailed.

Lady-Mary-DOWNTONABBEYENTAILMENTSUCKS

So if these girls don’t get married how will they live?

Seriously

Seriously

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C) Mr. Bennet Hates His Children

And the way Mr. Bennet hates his daughters? He didn’t hate them in the original book. He thought they were silly and not worth his time, but he didn’t have an outright hatred for them like in here.

That's not how it was in the book!

That’s not how it was in the book!

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D) The “Warrior” Code

In this world “the warrior code demanded she avenge her honor” for the insult that Darcy gave her when he said she wasn’t handsome enough for her. If they can kill for that why didn’t Darcy just kill Wickham?

ooh!

ooh!

I mean it makes no sense. Yeah, he doesn’t want what happened to his sister to taint her or make her an outcast in society, but in this world you can kill someone for an insult. Why didn’t he just kill Wickham and make up that he said an insult. The rules of this world just don’t work.

uh-no-gifuhno

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E) Elizabeth is a Jerk

Lizzie is so freakin’ cruel. She is incredibly mean to her sisters and everyone around her. Just downright cruel.

you're evil

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F) More “Rules” of Society That Don’t Make Sense

It is “unladylike” to bring more serious weapons than daggers and knives to a ball, but is okay for them to kill, flip around, kicking and showing off their lady parts (no underwear like us), etc. Wow Grahame-Smith you aren’t confusing at all.

confused

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G) No Knowledge of Martial Arts

Does Grahame-Smith know anything about martial arts? He has Elizabeth get into a crane position to attack the zombies, but then does a chop on the thigh. That makes no sense at all. Crane positions are for kicking, kicking! Why would you get ready like that and then chop on the leg? It is completely weird and wasteful of energy.

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H) None of the Characters Have a Heart

Mrs Bennet says all Charlotte Lucas deserves is a “crust of bread washed down with a cup of loneliness.” You see? Grahame-Smith is so cruel. None of these people were that mean. They all had faults but they wren’t downright heartless. How does removing the heart and soul of the characters make them better? Huh, Grahame-Smith? How. Well I’ll tell you, it doesn’t. It makes it horrible.

Or an author

Or an author

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I) Mr. Bennet is Abusive

Seriously, the way Mr. Bennet talks to his wife is downright abusive. Thanks Grahame-Smith for ruining a fantastic book.

I don't like it 11

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J) You Need to Reevaluate Your Career Choices

All the girls say that they could make great lives as assassins, bodyguards, or mercenaries. Really? Really? You think with all those in the military eventually coming out of the service that won’t be a problem? And how many people need a bodyguard or assassin? And if they are rich enough to hire assassins, bodyguards or mercenaries, why wouldn’t they just get ninjas from Japan or something? And to top it all off you are really only trained to kill zombies, not people. Slow moving, barely threatening zombies. Not the same thing at all. You don’t have the same training for the others.

Night of the living dead zombie

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K) You Can Pretty Much Kill Anyone for Anything

Mary almost kills Mr. Collins when he insinuates that one of them did the cooking. Now, don’t get me wrong, that is a serious insult. He implies that they are so poor they have to take on the role of a servant putting them on the same level of a domestic. But hey, if that is open for murder why didn’t Darcy just kill Wickham? I mean seriously, I just keep circling back to that.

Why?

Eh?

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L) People Do Not Understand the Levels of Class

I hate how everyone praises that Mr. Bennet says the girls aren’t trained in the kitchen but are trained as warriors. Only one problem, they were never trained for the kitchen. They were too wealthy for that. I blame the Pride & Prejudice (2005), in which they are made to look really dirty,  muddy, with animals running all over the place. They made them look really poor, but the Bennet family wasn’t. They were well-off; the only problem was the estate was entailed and the wealth they had wasn’t theirs to keep, like in Sense & Sensibility. And the reason there is an issue with marrying Mr. Darcy is that his aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, is in line for the throne. I mean a lot of people would have to die, but still hypothetically she could become the next queen of England. That means it would eventually come down to him, so who he marries is a big deal.

Get it right!!!!!

Get it right!!!!!

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M) Why Wasn’t There a Duel?

So we have Wickham’s big pack of lies about Darcy and how he dishonored himself and Wickham by not giving him the legacy that was originally promised. One issue with that, if in this world you can kill someone for insults why didn’t Wickham do a duel with Darcy or kill him? Why doesn’t Elizabeth think of that?

BraveheartVictorySwordinAir

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N) All the Innuendo

The sexual innuendo. Come on Grahame-Smith, is sex all you think about. I feel like the girls in Grease 2, refocus your mind.

And that’s what makes Austen so great. She didn’t need cheap paltry things. She created a fantastic novel full of great wit and amazing work. Every sentience piece of art, delightful storytelling, Grahame-Smith not so much.

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O) Front Lines? You Mean No Lines

Elizabeth writes to her aunt that she is on the front lines of battle and prefers it to marriage, love, and family. Only one issue she’s on the front lines of nothing. She’s just hanging out in the country. Front lines would be the battlefield with the soldiers, but Elizabeth isn’t a soldier! She talks as if hired by crown but why isn’t she paid? And she’s only battling the village zombies she’s not even out there fighting where the hordes are coming from. Get off your high horse.

Seriously

Seriously

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P) Why/Where Did the Zombies Come From?

And that’s another thing that bothers me. Why did this happen? How? Why don;t they ever explain?

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Q) Grahame-Smith is a Child

Grahame-Smith is a ten-year old boy. I mean think about it. His obsession with body fluids (poop, pee, vomit, farts, etc.) and likes saying balls as much as he can. It’s the only explanation.

Seriously

Seriously

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R) Charlotte a Zombie?

I hated how they turned Charlotte into a zombie. I thought that was a dumb decision. How can no one notice but Elizabeth? Really?!

stupidmoranhmm_yes_i_see_youre_a_moron_trollcat

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S) Fifty-Five? Schfifty-Five

Fifty-Five years of zombie attacks? How are there that many zombies in existence to keep living? Why did zombies even start? Explain!!!!

totalrecallmachinedestroyargh

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T) The Battle Scenes are the Worse

Let’s talk about my least favorite part-when Elizabeth fights the ninjas. First the way that Lady Catherine talks about being taught by Ninjas. False, ninjutsu wasn’t something you were taught, but passed through families as they were assassins.

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Second Elizabeth fights at least three of them according to the illustration, but when she takes the time to strangle one with its own intestine why didn’t the other ninjas kill her?

Really?

Really?

The second ninja she blocks the throwing stars, and then grabs the last one midair and throws it back unharmed. You grab something moving that fast that sharp, no way. She would have cut her hand. And hands bleed like crazy.

ouch Hermione

The third ninja she just throws her katana and kills him. That easy?! Really Catherine with all her money and fame, that’s the best she could hire.

I don't think so

Oh, and I forgot. Elizabeth did that all blindfolded. Hmm, maybe she was hit by the same radioactive stuff that Daredevil was hit with because I don’t think she could have done that.

uh-no-gifuhno

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U) Elizabeth is a Cannibal?

She rips the heart out of the ninja and starts eating it. First that is serious zombie signs right there, I would have killed her. And second, eating human parts, i.e. a cannibal, makes you go crazy and get extremely sick. She should be totally insane right now.

I'm crazy

I’m crazy

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V) Grahame-Smith’s Mind

Ball joke after ball joke and now fingering? Austen is rolling over in her grave. If she became a zombie and hunted Grahame-Smith down, I wouldn’t mind at all.

immatureHowIfeelBones

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W) Why Won’t They Explain About the Zombies?

They travel to the Orient multiple times? Is the zombie plague just in Europe? Western Europe? In America as well? It would be nice if Grahame-Smith gave a moment to EXPLAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fliptablesangrysurprised

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X) Who?

On pg. 169 Jane and Elizabeth punish Catherine? Catherine who? Do they mean Kitty? Why call her Catherine suddenly? Strange.

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayernosense

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Y) Grahame-Smith Does Not Understand Women or Sisters

Elizabeth dreams of cutting off Lydia’s head? Really? Grahame-Smith doesn’t really know how to write female characters or sisters. First he has Elizabeth being mean to Jane, then Mary, and then Lydia. So completely cruel. And that is one of my biggest problems with this book. I hate Elizabeth! She is mean, cruel, harsh, rude, judgmental, and just downright nasty. I dislike her and don’t want to read more about her as I just can’t stand her. Yes Grahame-Smith, you actually took a character I lived and made me hate her. Good job.

dialMforMurder Killer Hate

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Z) Not Hatred, Circumstances

In this book Grahame-Smith makes Mr. Bennet hate Mrs. Bennet as he finds her stupid and dumb. That’s not how it was in the real book. Mr. Bennet married Mrs. Bennet and didn’t realize that they werent well suited until much later on. They lived well together, spending all the money as no need to save, they will have sons. When no sons came each went to the opposite extreme. Mrs. Bennet became so worried and crazed over her “failure” that she threw all her efforts into trying to catch husbands. That’s why she puts the girls “out” all at once, she wants them settled as soon as possible or they will be worse off then the Dashwood sisters. Mr. Bennet took the failure of no male heir and money a different way, he isolated himself in his library and books, trying to escape reality. They didn’t hate each other, they just didn’t really suit each other, drawing farther and farther apart.

The_Wolf_Man_4Crying sad

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AA) Elizabeth is a Freak

Elizabeth enjoys listening to the screams of burning zombies. What a sadist and creep.

Gilmore girls creep

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BB) Return of the Bad Fight Scenes

The fight between Lady Catherine and Elizabeth is horrible as well. Leaping all over the place like they are taking part in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon or something, The way Lady Catherine attacks, Elizabeth should be dead. Elizabeth stabs Lady Catherine in the stomach but Lady Catherine survives? What, that isn’t even possible. She’s dead, end of story.

stupidestThingeverheard

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CC) Ew, Yuck, and Gross

Words some Catherine’s lips “After I behead her, ninjas you can do what you want with the body”, Grahame-Smith has some serious issues.

Certified Creepo Ribbon

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So yeah I hated it.

Hate YOu

Grahame-Smith just plagiarized someone else’s work changing a few words here and there and making it horrible. Grahame-Smith offends me to my very core. Destroying talented writing with his scribbles.

This is what I would like to do to him

This is what I would like to do to him

Grahame-Smith doesn’t even know how to write. His characters are unlikeable, story underdeveloped, and just all around bad, bad, bad.  Only one thing left to do:

DissedP&P

This is one book you should defintely skip!

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To start the 30 Day Challenge from the beginning, go to It Was a Pleasure to Burn: Fahrenheit 451

For the previous post, go to Why I Still Love My Fair Godmother

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For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Austenland

For more Pride & Prejudice variations, go to Is Love at the Thanksgiving Day Parade Really Just Pride & Prejudice?

For more books based on Jane Austen, go to Midnight in Austenland

For more Zombies, go to No Mere Mortal Can Resist the Evil of the Thriller: Thriller (1983)

I Can’t Pretend, I Have to Be: Casual Sex? (1988)

Most Romantic Moment #1

Casual_sex_poster1988

So you are probably wondering what am I doing watching this movie, well it wasn’t really the one I wanted. You see I was at Big Lots and they were having a 20% everything sale. That sounded great to me, so I went and looked around. I found a DVD set for $4, of which three were Michael J. Fox films and the other two were ones I had never heard of.

AWESOME!!!

AWESOME!!!

Well you all know how I feel about Michael J. Fox

wouldhavehisbabieslovehim

I love him, so this seemed like a deal too good to pass up.

So my friend and I were watching some of the films, when we decide to check out this one, Casual Sex?, as we both like Lea Thompson.

I have to admit this movie surprised me a lot. It was rated “R” but didn’t really show anything, you know nothing like Game of Thrones, and actually dealt with the issues of sex. How you can get diseases, pregnant, sometimes the person just wants you for the sex, how sometimes you get involved with a person and they turn out to be nothing like you expect; and how hard it can be to meet anyone whether you desire sex or a relationship. It was pretty good.

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So the film is about two women, Stacey and Michelle, who have not had the best luck in love.

ouch Hermione

Stacey is constantly falling for artists, of which she not only changes herself for them but they always leave her in the lurch.

Melissa has only been with two men, and the second one, her ex-fiancé broke up with her as he was “going through a selfish phase.” Ugh, Men.

Men&Mon

The girls decide to leave the LA area and head on some kind of getaway in hopes to meet the perfect man.

findperfectguy

They decide to head to a health spa in which they meet a variety of possibilities. There is Vinny “the Vin Man” from New Jersey who hits on everybody and is always talking about his “attributes.”

Person hate talking

Jamie, one of the spa workers who seems sweet and caring:

You're so cute

Matthew, a psychologist, who is looking for material for his newest book on psycho-sexual tendencies of pre-menopausal females.

Freud

And Nick, a fitness instructor who dreams of becoming a rock star.

BacktothefutureMartyMcflyrocknrollguitarsolo

Will the girls find the man of their dreams? Or will they be disappointed once again?

NevermeetamanIcouldLove

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Most Romantic Moment: From Vin Man to Vincent

So the most romantic moment comes from the most unlikely source, Vincent otherwise known as Vinny or the Vin Man.

Vincent is from New Jersey, a pre Michael “The Situation”. He is gross, annoying, and just doesn’t understand that women are not interested in crudity.

Men

Men

However, as he keeps striking out with the women, one of the spa instructors gives him a book, The Pretend You’re Sensitive Handbook.

midsomermurdersbookweapons

He tries it out on Stacey, but as she has her own stuff going on she wants nothing to do with it.

Vinny: Stacy, how nice to see you. Do you have a few minutes? I mean, it occurred to me, I don’t even know where you work.

Stacy: Where I work?

Vinny: Yeah, you know, your career plans, your dreams, your aspirations… I really want to hear all about them.

Stacy: What I want? I don’t even know — ask me what anyone else wants. Give me three seconds, I’ll figure out your whole entire life.

Vinny: Would you maybe want to share something with me about your childhood, perhaps?

Stacy: Vinny, what the hell are you talking about? I’m in a big rush. Look, I have to go talk to Melissa, because if I don’t figure out something about my life soon, I’m going to crack!

Vinny: I respect your strength, Stacy, and I think you’ve got a lot of potential!

After striking out once again, Vinny runs to the spa instructor and tells him that he can’t do this. He can’t pretend, he has to be it. He decides to leave, catching a ride with Stacey to the bus stop. There we see a look at the real Vinny as he asks Stacey for advice. He wants to have a real relationship with a woman; like a friendship but more, but doesn’t know what to do. What do women want?

confused

She doesn’t have the answers and drops him off at the bus station. We think that is the last of him, but then we are given this surprise.

Stacy: [reading] ‘Dear Stacy, I hope you don’t mind me writing to you…

 Yes, Vinny writes Stacy a letter and tells her about how his life has been changing. He wants to be a different person, but no more pretending, he’s going all the way. He starts reading books,

guysread

Cooking, changing his wardrobe to more appropriate clothing (and no more super “Vs” showing off the chest,

Deanwinchestergirlcrazysharpdressedman

Giving up all those aspects of the Vin Man and transforming himself, from the inside out, into a new person, Vincent.

CantChangethem

The sweetest, most romantic thing about this is that he made all these changes on his own, no “promise of getting the girl”, no other motivation than he wanted to be better and strove for it, turning himself from jerk to heartthrob. And once he feels his change is complete, he travels from Jersey to LA to see Stacy and prove that he is not only a new man, but ready for a real relationship.

casual_sex

swoon dreamy

What a guy!

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For more Valentine’s posts, go to Now That I’ve Met You, I Can’t Imagine Life Without You: Sabrina (1954)

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For more ’80s films, go to We’re in the Future: Goodbye 2015

For more Jane Austen quotes, go to We Wish You a Merry Christmas

The Cambridge Companion to Jane Austen

cambridgecompanionjaneausten

The Cambridge Companion to Jane Austen compiled by editors Edward Copeland and Juliet McMaster. 2003 (originally printed in 1997).

So I read this book I think about five years ago. There is a brief biography of Austen’s life: her as a writer; a work on Northanger Abbey, Sense & Sensibility, and Pride & Prejudice; Mansfield Park, Emma, and Persuasion; her short stories; the Austen letters; class-consciousness; economy of the culture; religion and politics;style in the novels; the significance of her juvenile works; and Austen cults/cultures.

The Lovely Jane

The Lovely Jane

I thought this book was…okay.

Not always the best idea

Meh.

Some of the essays had some very interesting points

StarTrekFascinatingSpockinteresting

While others were boring or just rehashed old ideas that you already knew.

Bones David Bored I;m bored boring

Now in this book’s defense it was published almost twenty years ago, so the ideas in were most likely new at the time. However, some of those writers are just so dusty. You don’t have to write about the past and make it so stifling.

Really?

Come on now. You can be historical and interesting.

The essay that I recall the most, was the one about Northanger Abbey. It was written by Rachel M. Brownstein and I hated it.

Something is not right!

Something is not right!

In her essay she writes about how Northanger Abbey  is a parody of the romantic genre that was popular at the time. I was okay with that.

okay...

Alright…

Northanger Abbey in a way is a rewrite of The Female Quixote or The Adventures of Arabella by Charlotte Lennox. In fact I agreed with a lot of what she said. How Austen made fun of the romantic tropes, actually quite snarkly. In fact she would have fit in today, on Youtube right next to Nostalgia Critic or something.

Here's to another 200 years!

The part I didn’t like was when she started talking smack about Mr. Tilney.

Ryan-Gosling-Oh-No-You-Didnt-Half-Nelson

In her essay she discusses how Mr. Tilney is the most “feminine” of the Austen heroes and that he is dominated by his father; never really making a move or taking any action toward Catherine; everything being done by General Tilney.

princess-leia-i-dont-know-what-youre-talking-about

So as you can tell I had major issues with that.

I don't think so

So she concludes that he is “feminine” rather than “masculine” because he is interested in muslin (something only for a woman), is dominated by his father, and reads novels. I however, feel he is no less masculine than any other Austen man.

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1)Interest in Muslin

tilneyonmuslin

So Catherine has just met Mr. Henry Tilney who is unlike any man she has met or read in books. Instead of being tall, dark, and brooding; he is jovial, saracastic, witty, hilarious, etc. No reserve for him.

They begin on the subject of muslin by Mrs. Allen who is speaking on her muslin dress and how she would hate for it to be torn. It is a favorite of hers and cost but nine shillings a yard. Henry shares that he would have guessed that as he is a great judge of muslin. He buys his own cravats and sometimes his sister’s gowns.

Now there are many ways to look at this:

1. Henry is a Down to Earth Man

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So Henry Tilney is a middle son. He knows that like most middle children, he will not inherit much but instead has to make his own fortune.

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Military is out as his older brother is in it already, (who wants to be compared to him?), and it doesn’t suit his temperament. He choose the church as a profession, and while he will live comfortably he won’t be a millionaire, unless he marries up. And until he finds this rich heiress to marry, he most likely won’t have servants doing the shopping for him, so he’ll  probably have to go out and do it himself.

He knows his fabric, most likely because he is getting used to leaving within a means.

2. Henry is a Good Brother

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Eleanor Tilney is the youngest of the Tilney clan. She is very reserved and quiet; due to her father General Tilney’s tyrannical ways. We know that the father emotionally abused the mother with his attitude and temperment, being a vampire of spirit, and it is easily concluded that he did the same with his daughter. Because of this, Eleanor doesn’t have many friends, the only one being her brother Henry, and then later Catherine.

The eldest Tilney, Captain Fredrick Tilney, is a lot like his father. He is no friend of Eleanoe; leaving Henry to shoulder the big brother responsibilities and to be the protector of his sister. Like Mr. Darcy, there are probably a ton of different things he does for his sister, buying her clothing the least of it.

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3. Henry is Being Sarcastic

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We know that Mr. Tilney has a wicked sense of humor. He is sarcastic, funny, and likes going against society (not 100% but a mini rebellion).

Right before this exchange he and Catherine are discussing her time in Bath, with Mr. Tilney sassily and snarkily making fun of how society expects such bland converstion (much of how Elizabeth does when she and Darcy dance in Pride & Prejudice).

“[Mr. Tilney] I have hitherto been very remiss, madam, in the proper attentions of a partner here; I have not yet asked you how long you have been in Bath; whether you were ever here before; whether you have been at the Upper Rooms, the theatre, and the concert; and how you like the place altogether. I have been very negligent-but are you now at leisure to satisfy me in these particulars? If you are I will begin directly.’

[Catherine Moreland] ‘You need not give yourself that trouble sir.’

[Mr. Tilney] ‘No trouble I assure you, madam.’ Then forming his features in a set smile, and affectedly softening his voice, he added, with a simpering air, ‘Have you been long in Bath, madam?’

‘About a week, sir. ‘ replied Catherine, trying not to laugh.

Really!’ [said Mr. Tilney] with affected astonishment.

Why should you be surprised. sir?’ [asked Catherine]

Why, indeed!’ said he, in his natural tone. ‘But some emotion must appear to be raised by your reply, and surprise is more easily assumed…

This teasing continues for a while, with Catherine trying her best to withold her laughter.

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So we know that Mr. Tilney is a kidder. He likes to joke around, and he likes to be sassy; it is easy to believe that his remarks on muslin are all just one big joke. That he knows nothing about muslin, but is just being sarcastic again.

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Maybe he decides to play along with what Mrs. Allen is saying as he is in a silly/sarcastic mood, trying to make Catherine laugh once again. We know he likes to tease, and make fun of other’s foibles (eccentricities) so it is easy to conclude that.

Well, whether he knows his muslin, is a good brother, or just making fun. Mrs. Allen believes he knows his stuff, and that is good enough for me.

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2) Dominated by His Father

How do I describe General Tilney?

Jerk

He pretended to be sweet, charming, and kind to win the heart of a wealthy woman, but later revealed his true colors. He was tyrannical and his way always the right one or else. He held all the power and expected his children to bow to his will or find themselves with nothing.

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How is this less than other Austen characters? Mr. Darcy isn’t dominated by a person, per say, but by society. He knows himself to be attracted to Elizabeth, but feels he cannot marry her as she isn’t in his class, nor does he want to be chained to her family. He does all he can to not want to be with her, but ultimately succumbs.

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Edward Ferrars is just as dominated by the head of his family, although in this case it is his mother. Just like in the Tilney clan, you must do what she says or risk losing it all. Edward’s mother wants him to follow a more elite career, while Edward wants to be a minister. He almost gives into his mother’s wishes; but luckily stays true to who he is.

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And this was something that happened a lot back then. With inheritance being the key to living comfortably, and rich relatives holding the power, more often than not people always had to bend to their will.

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3) Reading Novels

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So in the 18th century there was what historians call the “reading revolution”. With the printing press improvements that occured then and in the early 19th century, books could be printed more easily and cheaply. Reading and owning books became a huge phenomenon as almost everyone had the ability to purchase them.

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Everything from science, to books we now call classics, novels, romance, history, to cheap thrills, etc. Such romances like The Mysteries of Udolpho and The Monk were popular, but thought to be purposely explicit and exploiting, “women’s cheap novels” but read by all.

So while it would be unusual for Mr. Tilney to admit to reading them, it is not unusual for him to actually read them as most men do. But this admittance goes with his character as we have already seen that Tilney doesn’t feel the need to be reserved but is more open in his demeanor.

Besides as this is still a romance, whether parody or remake, and as Catherine is an avid book reader, her hero has to be as much a reader as her. After all, there is nothing sexier then meeting a man who loves to read.

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4) Never Makes a Move or Takes any Action Toward Catherine

Really?

Really?

Did you not read the end of the book? Yes, Mr. Tilney does not invite Catherine to his house, his dad does as he is trying to hook them up, but what about that final scene? You know the one where he goes after Catherine and asks her to marry him risking everything for her?

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He is gone from the family home when Catherine was given the boot. When he returns and finds out what happened, he could have just let it go. Or he could have gone and apologized to Catherine, returning home and continuing the search for a wealthy bride. But does he do that? NO! He goes after her, having more balls than Mr. Darcy and Edward Ferrars.

Yes I went there.

Yes I went there.

He not only goes to her house and humbles himself in front of her and her family, but is willing to throw his entire fortune away for her, not even knowing if she feels the same way about him. She could tell him no and then he would end up with nothing, having turned on his father.

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Mr. Darcy never went to Elizabeth in such a way, begging her forgiveness. He worked on himself and helped the family, by saving Lydia, but never threw himself at Elizabeth’s feet. Edward comes to Elinor to share his feelings, but he never apologizes for leading her on while engaged or tried to apologize for his behavior, (except for that one time he was interrupted by Lucy before he could say anything). Only Mr. Tilney throws all caution to the wind, and gives up everything for the woman he loves.

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Mr. Tilney…what else can I say about you?

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You are definitely hero material

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For more on Mr. Tilney, go to God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

For more on Northanger Abbey, go to Waiter, There’s Some Disney in My Jane Austen 

For more on Jane Austen, go to Jane, Jane, Jane: A Jane Austen Biography

To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before

So I know I haven’t gotten to Star Trek in my fangirl posts, do you might not realize this about me:

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And as this year marks the 50th anniversary of the Original SeriesI decided that how last year was on Back to the Future, this year will be on Star Trek. And next year can be Star Wars as it marks the 40th anniversary of that film. But enough on that, let’s get to our year in review!

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This is a time to reflect on what the past year held for us, the big posts, what’s new, and what you all seemed to like the most.

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This post will only cover a few things, you really should check out the year for yourself. To start at the beginning go here.

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The Views

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This year I had 68,000 views!

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Last year I had 31,000 and I thought that was a lot. Thank you buzzfeed, pinterest, facebook, twitter, and readers who practically doubled my views.

The most viewed day of the year was June 19th, in which I posted Drug of Choice.

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The Number One Post

Strangely, my top posts had nothing to do with anything posted in 2015.

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But you all like what you like!

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So the number one post was from my Romance is in the Air Valentine’s countdown from 2013. That post was Fulfilling the List: A Walk to Rememberand I think I need to post on it once again.

Second place went to A Monster Race: Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf (1988), from 2012, and my first Horrorfest, theHalloween countdown. In third place was I Saw Goody Osburn With the Devil: The Crucible (1996)from 2013 and my Horrorfest II Halloween countdown. In fourth we had In Rhapsody Over Clint Eastwooda post from 2013. And rounding them out in my fifth place, we had a post from 2014, Men What Happened?

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The Followers!

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So this community has really grown in numbers and I can not describe how pleased I am about that. We have gone from 14 followers in 2012 to 42 followers in 2013, 169 followers in 2014, and are now at 439. That’s amazing!

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So enough about the statistics and numbers! Let’s move on to what was covered this year and what changes I have made to the blog

1)Back to the Future

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So with it being 2015 and the year Back to the Future turned 30, we had a lot of Back to the Future love going on. It started with my first post of the year, Where We’re Going, We Don’t Need RoadsOn the amazingness of this film as it celebrates its 30 year anniversary, in Back in Time: Happy 30th Anniversary Back to the Future. My joy at watching all three films on the big screen, in The Future is NOW!: Happy Back to the Future Day!. On the importance of November 12th in The Back to the Future series, in The Temporal Junction Point for the Entire Space-Time ContinuumAn episode of Supernatural that mimics Back to the Future, in Back to the Supernatural. And a list of everything Back to the Future got right about 2015, in We’re in the Future: Good-bye 2015.

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2) Fandom Love

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This year I continued my fandom posts, posting on Sundays. This year I wasn’t as faithful, as sometimes life would throw me a curveball, but I am getting closer to completing it. I just have to stop adding things.

So far this year I have covered: Amazing Phil/Phil Lester, Audrey Hepburn, The Baby-Sitters Club, The Beach Party Series, The Brady Bunch, Brotherly Love,  The Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales, Captain PlanetThe Cat Who Mystery Series, Cinemasins, Clint Eastwood, Daredevil, Death on Demand Mystery Series, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, Dr. Seuss, Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, 8 Simple Rules, Elvis Presley, Eureka, Everyday Sunday, The Fast & the Furious franchise, Foreigner, Full House, Gargoyles, Grimm, Growing Pains, Guardians of the Galaxy, Hans Christian Anderson, Harry Potter, Hawk Nelson, Hell on Wheels, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, The Highlander, How I Met Your Mother, How It Should Have Ended, The Hunger Games, Indiana Jones, James Bond, Jimmy Stewart, Journey, The Kinsey Millhone Mysteries, Las Vegas, Leverage, The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, Lord of the Rings, Madeleine L’Engle, Make It or Break It, The Mentalist, Michael Crichton, Michael J. Fox, Midsomer Murders, Murder She Wrote, My Chemical Romance, Nancy Drew, The Nanny, NCIS, North & South, The Nostalgia Critic, The Office, Once Upon a Time, The Phantom of the Opera, Pokemon, The Princess Bride, Psych, Ray Bradbury, The Riyria Revelations, and Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

To read more, click on these links: Fandom Love, It’s Fantastico!, A Fantabulous Post, A FANtastic Voyage, Please Excuse My Dear Fan Lady, I’m So FANcy!, Back to the Fandoms, Old Fandoms and New Fancies, Fantom of the Opera, Fun & Full of FANcy, The Fans and the Furious, It’s a Fan World After Alland Portrait of a Fangirl.

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3) Buzzfeed Bust or Library Love

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So I was trying to get a job with Buzzfeed and posted a few things as it was part of the application process. However no one was really interested in my lists so I decided to bring that style here. I only did one, Heaven on Earth, in which I listed the best fictional libraries; but I’m thinking of doing a few more in the future.

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4) Story of My Life

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So this year we once again had stories of my everyday life. First I shared about my horrible ex co-worker, Wanda in Five to Nine. Then there was the time my friend’s car started to overheat in San Francisco and we started to stall on the bridge, in I Left My Car in San FranciscoMeeting Dr. Sexy from Supernatural in real life, in Paging Dr. Sexy.  My spot issues that rivals Dr. Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang, in A Spot of TroubleOn how an ear infection wasn’t going to stop me from seeing the midnight showing, in Avengers Assemble. On living in a world that tries to get you to alter your appearance, in Small and ProudIt being so incredibly hot that I try to escape to England, in England Dreamin’ On Such a Summer’s DayIn which I do not learn my lesson and injure my legs again, in Walking on Pins and Needles. The fact that I will probably live out my life alone, in Crazy Book Lady. When I got caught in a crazy storm, in It’s Raining, It’s Pouring. The suffering of wisdom teeth, in Turn Your Wounds into Wisdom, and Your Wisdom Teeth into Wounds. How a baggy sweatshirt saved my life, in A Real Life Saver. Getting caught in a monsoon type rainstorm, in Every Month at the Quarter Moon There’ll Be a MonsoonChopping down the Christmas tree in Winter Wonderland.

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5) A Sense of Sense and Sensibility 

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So last year I talked about reviewing Sense & Sensibility, along with all those based on the works or rewritings. I talked about the girls’ older brother John, and how he severely let these girls down in Promises Were Made to Be Broken. The joys and horrors of sisterhood and how the two act as a unit in Sisterly RolesEdward Ferrars’ arrival into the house and being the one that brings peace to the house in The Eye of the Storm. On Elinor’s views of Edward, in To Edward or Not to EdwardHow young girl’s views of the perfect man haven’t changed in 200 years, in Some Things Never Change.

I also reviewed The Sense and Sensibility Screenplay and Diaries, a book on the behind the scenes look of the path of getting Sense & Sensibilty from book to screen.

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6) Holiday Hijinks

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So this year we celebrated a lot of holidays, real (recognized by the government) and fictional.

We started with celebrating Martin Luther King Jr.’s Birthday and the values he stood for in Color Blind. I also brought back the Chinese New Year post, this time on my favorite sheep/sheepy moments in film and literature, in Well I Feel Sheepish: Chinese New Year. Then we had my Saint Patrick’s Day post, 17 more Irish heroes from literature, film, and TV; in Lookin’ Over a Four Leaf Clover: 17 More Irish Heroes.  Couldn’t go through a year without celebrating the awesomeness of Star Wars with May the Fourth Be With You, in We Want YouI also did a post for Memorial Day, in Do the Right Thing.  Father’s Day, with love from The Terminator in Dear Dad. The 4th of July in Every Heart Beats True for the Red, White, & BlueTalk Like a Pirate Day and free donuts, in A Pirate’s Life is the Life for Me. Going bats over Batman Day, in Na Na Na Na Batman!. Friday the 13th in The Horror!!!! And of course Thanksgiving, in You’ve Got to Accentuate the Positive

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7) The Year of the Anniversaries

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This year I honored a lot of anniversaries, it started with wanting to do something for Back to the Future and quickly grew to many more things.

I started with the 82nd anniversary of women’s right to vote, in Right to VoteWe also had The Breakfast Club turn 30 years, my post being Don’t You Forget About Me. The birthday of one of my favorite men, Clint Eastwood, in Classic Clint. The 40th anniversary of Jaws in You’re Gonna Need a Bigger ScreenOn the amazingness of Back to the Future as it celebrates its 30 year anniversary, in Back in Time: Happy 30th Anniversary Back to the FutureMy three year anniversary of being a blogger, in Year of the Anniversaries. The 10th anniversary of The Iron Giant, in A Giant Metal Man: The Iron Giant (1995)And the 200th anniversary of Emma.

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8) Romance is in the Air: Part III

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So once I again I celebrated Valentine’s Day with a countdown of 14 romantic moments from films I like. The films I reviewed this year were How to Marry a Millionaire (1953), Sabrina (1954), Gigi (1958)Making the Grade (1984)The Breakfast Club (1985), A Room With a View (1985)While You Were Sleeping (1995), Hercules (1997), The Italian Job (2003), Why Did I Get Married (2007), Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (2008)What Happens in Vegas (2008), Up (2009), and New Year’s Eve (2011)

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9) Commentary on Cinderella Cynics

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With Disney’s new Cinderella live action film, I felt the need to call out to the cynics and naysayers, and prove that their smack was unfounded and Cinderella is actually a pretty awesome story.

To read go to If the Shoe Fits: Why Cinderella is Actually Awesome.

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10) The Enigmatic and Enjoyable Emma

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Like I did with Sense & Sensibility (see #4), I decided that I would begin going through Emma, along with reviewing any adaptations or retellings of this story.

So I started off talking about the uniqueness of Emma Woodhouse among the other Jane Austen heroines, in One of a Kind. How loneliness severely affects the character of Emma and explains her actions, in All By Myself. How easy it is for people and Emma to take credit for something they actually have no control over, in Credit Where Credit is Due. On how Mr. Weston is a great man but no one ever talks about him, in Unsung Austen Men: Mr. Weston.

I also reviewed the book Mr. Knightley’s Diary by Amanda Grange, a book that looks at the story of Emma from his point of view.

And of course, a post in honor of its 200th Anniversary, We Wish You a Merry Christmas.

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11) The Painted Path of Christ

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I brought back the painted portrayals of Christ, adding one more picture to my Easter countdown. This year I choose the following images: Jesus Enters Jerusalem by Giotto, The Last Supper by Dieric Bouts the Elder, The Taking of Christ by Carvaggio, The Lamentation of Christ or Foreshortened Christ by Mantegna Andrea .

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12) Retelling Pride & Prejudice

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I didn’t do any posts on Pride & Prejudice the book as I was going through Sense & Sensibility and Emma.  However I did review quite a few novels that are based on or retellings of Austen’s work.

There was Fall for You by Cecilia Gray, in which all your favorite Austen heroines attend The Jane Austen Academy boarding school in California together. This year the school was bought and has some major changes, allowing boys to attend! How would these girls get along in a modern world, follow this link to find out.

The Accidental Bride: A Romantic Comedy by Janice Harayda; is the story of a Jane Austen devotee set to be married soon, when she suddenly has second thoughts. With everyone pushing her in different directions, she relies on her love of Jane Austen to help her through. To read the review, follow this link.

Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart, by Beth Pattillo, is the tale of a non-Austenite; filling in for her sister and taking a class along with presenting a paper on Austen. She also gets caught up in spylike drama when she becomes the owner of secret Austen papers. To see what I thought of it, follow this link. 

Pride & Prescience (Or A Truth Universally Acknowledged) by Carrie Bebris, is a mystery with supernatural elements. Caroline Bingley bags a wealthy American and marries him right away. But after the marriage she starts acting strangely. It is just nerves or something more nefarious at play? It’s up to Elizabeth to find out. Follow this link to read more.

Darcy’s Story: Pride and Prejudice Told From a Whole New Perspective by Janet Aylmer; in this Aylmer rewrites Pride and Prejudice but told from Mr. Darcy’s point of view instead of Elizabeth’s.

In The Confession of Fitzwilliam Darcy: A Novel by Mary Street, another author tries her hand at rewriting Pride and Prejudice from Mr. Darcy’s point of view

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13) The Commendable Cecilia Gray

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I reviewed the book Fall for You by Cecilia Grayand while I didn’t completely roast the book, I wasn’t the kindest. But Cecilia Gray took it in stride and retweeted my review, urging others to check it out. I’ve given a shout out before, and just want time to thank her again.

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14) 30 Years Has a Nice Ring to It

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My post She’s Still Preoccupied With 1985 is an ’80s lover’s dream. In it I detail every amazing ’80 thing that I love that turned 30 in 2015.

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15) 30 Day Challenge: All About Me

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I brought back the 30 Day Challenge, but instead of Disney I did 30 days all about me. These were the different topics: 1) Put Your Music Player on Shuffle and Write the First 10 Songs that Play, 2) Your Most Treasured Item, 3) Bullet Your Whole Day, 4)A Quote You Try to Live By, 5) If You Could Go Anywhere, Where Would It Be?, 6) Your Views on Mainstream Music, 7) What You Ate Today8) One Thing You’re Excited For9) Something That Has Inspired You, 10) What You Wore Today, 11)Something You Want to Do Before You Die, 12) Your Celebrity Look-A-Like, 13)Something That You’re Proud Of, 14) Your Favorite Holiday, 15) Five Random Facts, 16)Five Weird Things You Like, 17) Five Pet Peeves , 18) Somewhere You Would Like to Move to or Visit, 19) Something That You Miss, 20) What You Night Was Like, 21) Last Film You Saw in Theaters, 22) Something You Never Expected, 23) Your Dream House, 24) A Book You Love, 25) Your Family, 26)Five Guys Who You Find Attractive, 27) Five Ways to Win Your Heart28)Something You Regret29)Things You Want to Say to an Ex, 30) Your Opinion About Your Body and How Comfortable You Are With It

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16) My Family is Growing

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My family is getting bigger! 2015 saw the inauguration of my sister blog Mysterious Eatswhich reviews mysteries and recipes.

From Print to Screen was also born in 2015, and it compares the printed book to the screen version, declaring which was better.

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17) Horrorfest IV: The Curse

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This year’s Horrorfest covered movies, TV shows, music, and more.

For films, we had: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931), A Study in Scarlet (1933)The 39 Steps (1935)Jamaica Inn (1939), Mystery of the 13th Guest (1943), Gaslight (1944)Dangerous Crossing (1953), Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956), Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958), The Screaming Skull (1958), The Bat (1959), Psycho (1960)Rosemary’s Baby (1968), The Stepford Wives (1975), Total Recall (1990)Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992), The Iron Giant (1995)Thinner (1996), Under Wraps (1997)Alien Vs. Predator (2004)The Brothers Grimm (2005), The Visitation (2006), The Girl He Met Online (2014)Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015).

Every Friday I reviewed a TV show. This year the ones I choose were: the episode Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up from The Twilight ZoneA Haunting We Will Go from The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Mysteries; On Leather Wings from Batman: The Animated SeriesTed  from Buffy the Vampire Slayer; & The Magician’s Nephew from Midsomer Murders.

I did a post on some cool Monster Movie action figures I found, in Monster MashAnd I listed five of my favorite song to listen to on Halloween, in Haunted Harmonies of Halloween

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18) 25 Carols of Christmas

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This year for Christmas, I did a Carol countdown. Everyday I posted on one of my favorite Christmas carols.

The carols I picked were: All I Want for Christmas is YouAngels We Have Heard on HighChristmas Don’t Be LateThe Christmas Song (Merry Christmas to You)A Cowboy’s ChristmasDo You Hear What I HearFah Who Foraze, Dah Who Doraze, Welcome ChristmasThe First NoelGod Rest Ye Merry GentlemenHark the Herald Angels SingHere Comes Santa ClausHolly Jolly ChristmasI’m Dreaming of a White ChristmasI Saw Three Ships (Come Sailing In)It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like ChristmasIt’s The Most Wonderful Time of the YearJoy to the WorldJust What I Always WantedOh Come All Ye FaithfulRudolph the Red-Nosed ReindeerSanta Clause is Comin’ to TownThe 12 Days of Christmas, We Wish You a Merry Christmas When Christmas Comes to Town, and You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

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19) When Disney Meets Austen

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I wrote a post comparing all the Austen characters to Disney ones. It took months to complete but I think it was pretty awesome. You’ll have to tell me what you think. Check it out in Waiter, There’s Some Disney in My Jane Austen.

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So what will this year hold? I don’t know. I guess you will have to join my expedition to find out.

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Happy New Year

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For 2014 in review, go to Where We’re Going, We Don’t Need Roads

For 2013 in review, go to Looking at the Past, Focusing on the Future

For 2012 in review, go to Looking Back, Moving Forward

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For more on Star Trek, go to Rock You Like a Hurricane

One of Many

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24) A Book You Love

[Sorry, I’m late again!]

So this was a hard thing to do. Pick one of my favorite books? So impossible.

ChoosingFavoritebookNeilGaiman

So I thought on this and decided that I wouldn’t talk about Jane Austen. I’m pretty sure you already know how much I love Pride & Prejudice, Sense & Sensibility, Mansfield Park, Emma, Northanger Abbey, Persuasion.

JaneAusten

Then I thought, well I can’t do The Phantom of the Opera either as I have already done two posts on how much I love that book.

PhantomoftheOpera

So then I thought, what is a book I really, really liked as a child; and still love today?

The plot thickens

Then I thought:

Wutheringheightsbook

I first read this book as a kid when I was going through the Great Illustrated Classics at the library. It was my first introduction to English 19th century fiction.

I love this book a lot. I just loved Heathcliff.

HeathcliffWutheringHeightsBones

You feel for this orphan man, always mistreated with everyone who ever loved him dying or betraying him. Yep, you know my type:

TallDarkBrooding

So in the story we are given the picture of a cruel man, and then go through the rest of his journey in a flashback. He was orphaned with no name and speaking some other language. Mr. Earnshaw found him on his trip to London, and brought him back to his home. He had bratty two children: Hindley and Catherine, who are cruel to Heathcliff. Hindley hates him because his dad likes him better than him. Catherine hates everything, but to her and everyone’s surprise she and Heathcliff become best friends.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

When Mr. Earnshaw dies, Hindley becomes man of the house and is incredibly cruel to Heathcliff, demoting him to dog status. He and Catherine fall in love, but she marries the wealthy Edgar Linton, as Heathcliff is too lowborn.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Breaking Heathcliff’s heart.

notasmuchasmeWuthering Heights

He leaves, bent on becoming rich and getting his revenge.

So I won’t ruin the rest of the story as it is dramatic, gothic, supernatural, and thoroughly amazing.

Or 10th, 50th, 100th....

Or 10th, 50th, 100th….

And as the extremely handsome Laurence Olivier player Heathcliff in the movie, as you read the book imagine a man just as handsome as him…or him. 🙂

Laurence Olivier Mr. Darcy

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To start the 30 Day Challenge from the beginning, go to Musical Madness

For the previous post, go to Be It Ever So Humble

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For more Wuthering Heights, go to Smells S’Wonderful

For more bookish posts, go to You Weirdo

For more on Tall, Dark, & Brooding Men; go to Old Fandoms and New Fancies

For more Neil Gaiman, go to Heaven on Earth