Are…You…Scared?: It Lives in the Woods (2017)

Are…you…scared?

So remember how I started playing that game Desire & Decorum from the app Choices?

The one that is similar to the game design in the film Big? A computer game/book that you read but get to make choices as to what will happen next?

Wow!

I know this isn’t a “movie”-its a game-but it’s like a combo of the two. You have a mix of film and book storytelling in combo of a video game.

This one is sort of like It by Stephen King. A group of kids meet a mysterious powerful creature called Mr. Redfield. After a tragic accident they never returned to the woods. The group split up and went their separate ways.

There is Stacey who became cheerleading captain and is being blackmailed by fellow cheerleader Brittany, into doing her bidding. Lucas is the class president and every moment of his time is chock full of extracurriculars, schoolwork, and etc.-where does he find the time? Andy-a transexual basketball player who faces prejudice because of his sexual orientation and race. Ava, full goth/witch who does whatever she wants and seeks powers. Lily, a lesbian in love with popular Brittany and the school nerd. Dan, football player but has been pulling away from everyone lately. Noah, who has been damaged by the incident that took his sister Jane and caused his family to fall apart. And there’s you.

Everything changes on the night before senior year when you and your friends receive strange texts from Dan. Then a mud monster in Dan’s form attacks you!

Dan has gone missing-bad things happen that “help you”, and it’s up to you what happens next as you fight mud monsters, massive spiders, bone and vine creatures, and have to figure out how to stop Mr. Red from hurting you all. What will you choose and will you make the right decision? Can you defeat Mr. Red?

I thought it was amazing. I couldn’t stop playing it, I just had to know what happened next.

The music is great as well and all together an amazing experience. I definitely suggest trying this game out.

To start Horrorfest VII from the beginning, go to It’s the End of the World: The Birds (1963)

For the previous post, go to Which Husband Ran Off With Addie Ross?: A Letter to Three Wives (1949)

For more on Choices, go to Desire & Decorum: Chapter 1, The Journey Ahead

Night on Bald Mountain: Fantasia (1940)

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Musically and dramatically, we have here a picture of the struggle between the profane and the sacred.

I know I have already reviewed an animated film with The Corpse Bride, but did you really think I was going to let Horrorfest go by without reviewing a Disney film or TV episode?

NO ONE

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I can’t remember when I first watched Fantasia, but I know I was young because I became very antsy during the watching. In fact I remember trying to leave part way through…

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And my mom stopped me and made me finish watching it.

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Out of all the scenes, there are three that have remained firmly stuck in my memory. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice by Paul Dukas, of course, as it starred Mickey Mouse. Who doesn’t love Mickey?

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Then the ballerina part with the Hippopotamuses, the Dance of the Hours by Amilcare Ponchielli.

Reminds me of Degas

Reminds me of Degas

And the part with the Devil.

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I saw that and had only one reaction:

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was an amazing short, but so terrifying. He was just so EVIL.

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And apparently I wasn’t the only one horrified. To this day Disney receives letters complaining about how terrifying this part is for kids. Because of such massive complaints, Disney actually removed this part from the initial video release, but later restored it.

He is probably the scariest of all Disney villains and animated creations.

I'm getting shivers

I’m getting shivers

So the piece is actually a combination of two musical pieces: Night on Bald Mountain by Modest Mussorgsky and Ave Maria by Franz Schubert.

The Night on Bald Mountain is about witches and demons worshipping their master, the Devil, also known as Chernabog. He comes out of the mountain

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And awaken all his supporters. From witches:

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To zombies in their graves:

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To skeletons and ghosts:

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And they all praise and dance around him. His pure evil is terrifying and frightening.

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Nothing can stop him except for one thing. The church bells ring and a choir sings Ave Maria by Franz Schubert. It’s message of hope, Mary, and Christ destroys the power of the devil and sends him back into the Earth.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5

The music is fantastic, the animation exquisite, and an all around great experience; check it out.

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To start Horrorfest V, from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to Have You Checked the Children: When a Stranger Calls (1979)

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For more Disney, go to Fan-do or Fan-don’t. There is No Fan-try

For more animated films, go to He’s Married to a Corpse. He Has A Corpse Bride!: Corpse Bride (2005)

For more Classic Disney, go to For She Filled Their Lives With Sunshine

For more Disney villains, go to There’s No One Like Gaston

He’s Married to a Corpse. He Has A Corpse Bride!: Corpse Bride (2005)

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He’s married to a corpse. He has a corpse bride. There must be some way to undo what’s been done.

Every year I do an animated movie as part of my Horrorfest review. As I was trying to decide which one, I finally settled on The Corpse Bride as I thought it was high time I reviewed a Tim Burton film. I have been trying to do Edward Scissorhands or Sleepy Hollow (1999), for years now but it just seems as if 31 days is never enough time to do everything I wish.

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So I have never seen this whole film from beginning to end. Starting with ABC Family’s 13 Nights of Halloween, and just seeming to continue on, I always only catch the end of this film. So here we go!

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I didn’t like this movie.

Something is not right!

To me it seemed like Tim Burton was trying to recapture The Nightmare Before Christmas with the style and characters, but the story just wasn’t that good.

See ya!

Why didn’t I like it? Well let’s get started.

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So the story begins with Victor Van Groot (Johnny Depp), nouveau rich, as he prepares to marry Victoria Everglot, from an old important family (who unfortunately has no money). There marriage is supposed to be one of convenience, but Victoria and Victor have fallen for each other.

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However, even though Victor is in love with Victoria, he is extremely nervous about the wedding and messing things up. He ruins the rehearsal when he drops the ring, (symbolizing his death) and accidentally catches Mrs. Everglot’s dress on fire.

ouch Hermione

He runs away embarrassed and tries to work on his vows. He manages to knock them out of the park, but when he gets to placing the ring on the finger (a stick off a tree) it turns out that he has awaken the dead, a zombie bride.

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He then gets dragged down…I don’t know actually know where. Is it is heaven, hell, purgatory, or final resting place for the townspeople? They never explain.

It works

Is it for everyone or just the village? And how was she even able to drag Victor down if he isn’t dead?

Anyways, they give him the story behind the Corpse Bride, Emily. She was engaged to marry a man her parents disapproved of. She stole all their money and jewels as the two planned to elope. But when Emily arrived, her betrothed strangled her and took off with everything. She then decided she would wait there until her true love awoke her.

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Victor wants to leave, but Emily doesn’t want him too. He convinces her to let him return to the world above so that they can see his parents. They go, but instead of seeing his parents, he tries to tell Victoria what has happened.

Emily follows him, and upset at his betrayal, drags him back down to the underworld.

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Victoria is worried and tries to seek help, but everyone thinks she is crazy. Her parents are desperate for money, so when Lord Barkis, (who has just arrived in town and no one knows him but he gives the appearance of being wealthy and from a distinguished family) offers to marry Victoria, her parents accept. Victoria on the other hand is completely distraught.

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Meanwhile, below the ground, Victor’s coachman has just arrived and given him the news about Victoria. Heartbroken that she would marry another, Victor agrees to spend eternity with Emily. In order to make the ceremony lawful, they must return topside, preform the wedding ceremony, and Victor must take poison so that he can join Emily in the afterlife.

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They come in right after Victoria and Lord Barkis have performed the ceremony. Everyone is terrified including the townspeople.

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However, after they discover that the skeleton/zombie creations are their dead relatives, they are happy to have their loved ones back.

Double double yay

Lord Barkin wants to flee and tells Victoria to get all her family’s money so they can take off. Victoria reveals they have no money, now they both are unhappy.

I am not happy

I am not happy

Victor and Emily are getting ready to perform the ceremony when Victoria arrives at the church. Emily sees how much Victor loves Victoria and stops the ceremony. Victor and Victoria are together, but unfortunately they can’t really be together as she is already married, something Lord Barkin reminds everyone. But as he comes to take Victoria away, it is revealed that he was the one who killed Emily.

you're evil

All the other skeletons and zombies are furious, but there is nothing that can be done by the dead as he is still alive. Lord Barkin laughs at this and takes a drink of the wine set out for the wedding ceremony, making fun of Emily. But the wine he drank was the poisoned wine that was set out for Victor.

Get him!

Get him!

As he is now dead, Emily can get justice; Victoria and Victor get their happy ending; and Emily is released and able to pass on.

Good-bye!

Good-bye!

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So let’s start with what I did like:

1) The Animation

In a world that was moving from 2D animation to CGI, it is nice to see a throwback like this, I actually wish we had more films like it. I know it was becoming too expensive for a lot of studios to do it and will eventually become totally outmoded, but I like it. There is something so real about these puppets.

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2) The Ending

The ending was so cute, it was why I even wanted to watch the film. I mean loved how Victor and Victoria get together and Emily has peace.

I love it

Although, why does she turn into butterflies?

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Now why I Didn’t like:

1) Too Nightmare Before Christmas

nightmare before christmas nothing turn out like it should

I really felt like Burton was just trying to recapture The Nightmare Before Christmas. He just borrowed too much from his earlier film that this piece felt like a poor companion. I mean the creatures had the same style; Emily looked like a Blue Sally; there are two skeleton kids and a dwarf replacing the three trick or treaters; a bone dog instead of ghost dog; and tons of song. Instead of being cute it just seems boring, as if Burton has no new ideas.

Something is not right!

2) Too Many Songs

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Now I love music

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But the songs in a film need to be good and have something to do with advancing or enhancing the plot. These songs were not like that, they were horrible. I mean have the time the people aren’t even really singing but talking their lyrics. It really felt like they were trying to reach a quota of songs instead of adding to the film. I mean this was so bad it was like Frozen.  What are you doing Burton?

Bad. Very bad.

Bad. Very bad.

3) This Was too Short

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Everything felt as if it was moving too quickly. It was like boom, boom, boom, done. It made me feel as if they couldn’t really think of a plot so they just jammed a bunch of songs in and hurried to the ending.

4) The Older Generation is Wrong Theme

Burton has been doing this for a looooooong time and it is getting really boring.

Bones David Bored I;m bored boring

In everything lately, it seems as if Burton is trying to say the older generation is silly, spurious, stupid, cruel, etc. We got it, you don’t like the older generation, move on!

And the weird thing is, Burton is technically the “old generation”, so does he not like himself?

It works

It works

5) Music is Not Right for a Young Lady

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Uh, did he do any research? Victoria wants to play the piano, but isn’t allowed as “music is not right for a girl”. Uh, no. Music has always been something young ladies were trained in. Think of the three acceptable arts: piano, painting, and embroidery. I mean remember Mr. Darcy?

“a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.’ Caroline Bingley…’All this she must possess,’ added Darcy, ‘and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

6) No Character Development 

Nope, not him.

So Victoria and Victor are cute, but we hardly know anything about them! I mean we know Victoria doesn’t want to wear corsets, or follow society’s rules, but what does she like? What does she want? Who is she? Victor is insecure and frightened, but that’s it. There is nothing else to him.

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7) Why Would They Marry Their Daughter Off to Someone They Don’t Know

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Now don’t tell me “it is because they need money”. Why would a family that was so concerned over their daughter marrying a rich fish merchant’s son, even though they are filthy rich, just send her off with a guy they know nothing about? That is dumb and makes no sense. Why wouldn’t they have looked into his background and discovered he has no money either?

So obs

8) They Couldn’t Just End an Engagement

So as stated before I guess Burton did zero research as you can’t just switch one engagement for another. Since Victor never actually ended his engagement there could be legal steps taken against the Everglots, and a family that has no money would be careful about that.

9) More Research Issues

So again another problem with the time period they set this film in. The Everglots are angry at  Victor and Victoria alone in the room but that wouldn’t be as big an issue, as when a couple was engaged there were a few relaxed rules. I mean Victor couldn’t be in her bedroom, but he could be in the room alone with her for a bit. I mean seriously, Did you do ANY research?

really? I can't stand this movie.

Ultimately, I thought it wasn’t that good until the end and really not worth watching.

See ya!

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And bringing back the facebook covers/mini posters. I haven’t been able to do them for the last few posts as I couldn’t find pics I liked that had a horror-ish feel. But I did make one for The Corpse Bride.

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To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to It’s A Hard World: Backfire (1950)

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For more zombies, go to Say Something Human: Warm Bodies (2013)

For more animated films, go to A Giant Metal Man: The Iron Giant (1995)

For more claymation films, go to A Matter of Loaf and Death: Wallace and Gromit (2008)

For more on Johnny Depp, go to Lookin’ Over a Four-Leaf Clover: 17 More Irish Heroes

For more on Helena Bonham Carter, go to I Don’t Want to Own You, I Just Want to Be With You: A Room With a View (1985)

For more historical fiction, go to Because I Am Mad, I Hate You. Because I Am Mad, I Have Betrayed You: Gaslight (1944)

Night of Day of the Dead: Lizzie McGuire (2001)

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You ate the food offering of the Day of the Dead? You stole the sacred meal of my dead ancestors?

Its Halloween night and in Lizzie McGuire world that means her school is putting on a Halloween carnival. Unfortunately for her, Matt will be there. 😦

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Kate is in charge of the carnival, Fright Night, and as usual and all of Lizzie’s friends are helping out. Miranda wants to include things from Dia de los Muertos, and while Kate isn’t really into that, the rest of the group are able to convince her. Miranda warns everyone to respect the skeleton representations of the ancestors, because if you don’t bad things can happen to you.

Lizzie really wants to be Vampira, the dungeon mistress and Kate says its okay as long as she cleans out the sticky, icky, nasty janitor’s closet.

Now this girl is in 7th/8th grade and she wants to wear this costume.  That’s really raunchy for a girl her age. If I was her parents I would keep a closer eye on her.

Gordo helps Lizzie out of course because he is in love with her. I never understood how it took her until the end of the series to discover that.

Of course when she finishes Kate turns on her and instead of letting her be Vampira she gets to be a clown and make balloon animals.

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So unfair!

Matt is creating his costume, which is him inside out. He is trying to use all kinds of leftover food to make him look gross.

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Back at the school Miranda’s parents come and drop of the Day of the Dead stuff.

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As soon as they are gone, Kate is her rude self again and forces Miranda to move the stuff far, far away. She is being rude rejecting the ancestors like that.

That night is the party, and Lizzie is having an awful time being the clown. She can’t create any balloon animals and ends up handing out “snakes” all night.

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Lizzie is really mad at Kate messing with her like that and compaining to Miranda and Gordo when Matt walks over eating a tamale. He stole it from the day of the Dead decorations.

Miranda: You ate the food offering of the Day of the Dead? You stole the sacred meal of my dead ancestors?
Matt: It had cheese on it.

Now Matt has unleashed the spirits and they will seek their revenge. Part of which is turning his lemonade black and moldy.

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Then Lizzie looks over at the skeletons

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THEY’RE MISSING!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then Matt sees a giant bride and groom skeleton exit the caf. Oh no!

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Next thing you know Matt’s been turned into dirt

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Gordo into a bobble head

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And Lizzie into a Zombie Clown

How terrifying!

How terrifying!

How Will it End? You have to find out for yourself 😀

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A Halloween Hello from the Austen Men

So I have a midterm to study for and can’t put up an actual review of a film today. So, I thought I would give you a little tie in with Austen. There is this website JibJab which is so much fun; you can make these great videos and I made a little Halloweeny one! 😀 Unfortunately I can’t post it on here so I did screenshots of the thing.

So here’s a Halloween hip-hop dance done by your favorite Austen men

Fitzwilliam “Shady D” Darcy

Then there is

Henry “Hoody H Face” Tilney

Now Tilney really gots the moves.

And

James “Force Jimmy J” Brandon

My favorite out of them all as his face is priceless

Fredrick “Manic Spin” Wentworth

And lastly, my other favorite as he is really grooving too

George “Lazy Georgie Mix” Knightly

Dancing the night away

Too Cool !

Now I’ll show them in their Halloween costumes 🙂

We have Edward Ferris as Mr. Bojangles

Bobbing for apples? What will the church think?

Knightly as Dracula

Looking debonair as usual.

Edmund Bertram as a robot

Getting down with his robotic self

Colonel Brandon as Frankenstein‘s Monster

Frankenstein’ it up in here!

Mr. Tilney as a Mummy

Too young and good-looking to be an old mummy

Captain Wentworth as the Wolfman

Call me Wolfie

And Mr. Darcy as the Mad Scientist

You want it I’ll make it happen

There you go!

More posts to come! 

Go here if you want to make your own.

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To start Horrorfest from the beginning, go to I Don’t Belong in the World

To go to the previous post, go to I Bid You Welcome

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For more on Austen men, go to Obviously You’ve Never Met George Knightly

For more on Captain Fredrick Wentworth, go to A Fredrick Wentworth Sighting

For more on Colonel Brandon, go to Let’s Hear it For the Boys

For more on Edmund Bertram, go to On the 10th Day ‘Til Christmas

For more on Mr. Darcy, go to Flirting With Disaster

For more on Mr. Knightly, go to By George He’s Perfect

For more on Mr. Tilney, go to Mr. Tilney’s Dating Tips