If It Means A Lot to You

So if you remember my post back in Dec, I’ll Be Alright Without You, I talked about creating a post that listed my favorite songs to help one get over heartache/a breakup; namely what songs really helped me. Well previously I wasn’t in the best place to do it, but now that it has been like eight months since we’ve broken up I’m doing great and can totally handle it.

At least for the most part, like Audrey says in Sabrina, even if you are over things certain songs can bring back memories.

The other reason that I have decided to do this list is that I just had a friend go through a breakup and was really struggling, so I promised to put together a compilation for her that helped me through everything.

So actually instead of doing them in all one post, I decided to do a series of posts, weaving them through everything else, so that it isn’t one straight sobfest. I mean imagine trying to storm through constantly sad things?

After all:

So that brings us to the first song on this list

1) If It Means A Lot to You

So when my ex and I first started dating he gave me a bunch of CDs to listen to. And one of them was this CD by A Day to Remember. It was pretty fitting as I was away from Michael and a lot of the songs expressed how I felt about us being apart. In fact I used to listen to this song all the time pre & post-breakup. (I’m not sure if that is romantic or pathetic? Hopefully romantic) So the series is a little scattered, not all songs focus on being “homesick”, however If It Means A Lot to You does. I actually think it is the most powerful song on the whole list, and my favorite (as I connected the most to it).

This song took me the longest to write. It took almost a year, but it was another song that kinda stumped me. I really needed this song to say exactly what I wanted, and I finally got it there. We didn’t know if it would be on the record right up until the end of recording. I wrote it separate from the band, and I wasn’t comfortable changing things. It all worked out in the end, though. I think it’s the perfect end to this record.

                            – Jeremy McKinnon

So the premise of the song is that a guy has to be on the road away from home, and while he doesn’t want to leave his girlfriend, he has to go. He talks about how he knows things are hard and getting rough, but if she could just wait a little longer then he knows everything will be okay, that they will be able to work through everything. She, however, can’t wait. She can’t do it and breaks up with him. It is a heartwrenching song and even more so because it described EXACTLY how I was feeling.

So the song starts off with the guy singing to the girl that he hopes everything is going well with her and that he just needs to hear from her, anything to get him by the time they are apart. This was totally how I felt, because a few weeks before we broke up Michael stopped texting and calling me. I would ask him when he was free to talk/skype as I missed him and he would tell me he was “busy” ,”didn’t know his schedule”, etc. I mean I found some texts that I thought I deleted, but my phone saved (grr) and its pretty pathetic my responses. “Well just let me know when you are free, I miss you” and “Okay we can try to talk later”, etc. I’d like to say aliens momentarily took over my brain, but that’s not true. It’s hard to accept that someone you cared for and cared for you has just stopped liking you. You kind of go into denial about it. Of course I know now that I’m in my right mind, I should have seen the signs. After all:

So back to the lyrics and the song

And hey darling,
I hope you’re good tonight.
And I know you don’t feel right when I’m leaving.
Yeah, I want it but no, I don’t need it.
Tell me something sweet to get me by,
‘Cause I can’t come back home till they’re singing

La, la la la, la la la,
Till everyone is singing

The next part is all about how he knows that if she can just wait a little longer, that he knows everything will work out and be okay. I wasn’t originally going to go home for Thanksgiving break as my aunt was getting married and my whole family was going to the opposite end of the state to do that, and Michael said he couldn’t get the time off to join my family. I however convinced my parents to take me home instead of right back to school as I wanted to see him, as I too thought that if he could wait until I got home we would be able to work through whatever was going on. That everything would be okay.

If you can wait till I get home, 
Then I swear to you that we can make this last. 
(La la la) 
If you can wait till I get home, 
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past. 
Well it might be for the best.

So then we have the girlfriend’s response that she just can’t do it anymore, that she needs him. As much as I hate what she does to the guy at least she gave a reason for why she was breaking up, I just got the “I don’t think you’re my future bride” response, which was like pulling teeth trying to get him to say anything why he broke it off. 

And hey sweetie,
Well I need you here tonight,
And I know that you don’t wanna be leaving me
Yeah, you want it, but I can’t help it.
I just feel complete when you’re by my side,
But I know you can’t come home till they’re singing

La, la la la, la la la,
Till everyone is singing.
La, la la la, la la la.

If you can wait till I get home,
Then I swear to you that we can make this last.
(La la la)
If you can wait till I get home,
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past.
Well it might be for the best.

So in the next part she tells him she can’t wait its over. And he freaks out, like is this really truly happening? How can this be my life? Let me say that everytime I hear that part my heart stops just like when Michael said he wanted it to be over.

And he is in shock at how this can acutually be happening. Yep, I felt that too. And just like the singer in this song, I did not want to be “just friends”. I personlly don’t believe and can’t understand how one can go from being so much more to “just friends”? How can you watch the person who just rejected you pick up their life and move on, while you sit in heartbreak and try very slowly to work past the pain? I sure don’t know.

 

You know you can’t give me what I need.
And even though you mean so much to me,
I can’t wait through everything,
Is this really happening?
I swear I’ll never be happy again.
And don’t you dare say we can just be friends.
I’m not some boy that you can sway.
We knew it’d happen eventually.

La, la la la, la la la,
Now everybody’s singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
Now everybody’s singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
(If you can wait till I get home)
Now everybody’s singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
(Then I swear we can make this last)
Now everybody’s singing.

La, la la la, la la la,
(If you can wait till I get home)
Now everybody’s singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
(Then I swear we can make this last)
Now everybody’s singing.
La

Now some of you may be wondering why I started off with such a sad song instead of a more empowering or forget you song. Well I believe that you need to allow yourself to grieve the end and that listening to something sad helps make things get better.

So even though this song (and Hey There Delilah) still make me sad as the feels are just so much, it was still hepful listening to this over and over to help voice my feelings about the breakup.

 So that’s the first of many songs, and they do get empowering, you just have to wait for it.

For the next song in the Heartbreak series, go to The End by Silverstein

Here are some other posts you might interested in:

For more of my favorite songs, go to Once Upon a Time

For more on breakups, go to Unbound (The Wild Ride)

For more on ex-boyfriends, go to Push All the Buttons!

For more on Sarah Dessen, go to Happy B-Day

For a song that describes life, go to Nothing But a Good Time

I’ll Be Alright Without You

So since Michael and I broke up I’ve been looking for a song to listen to to kind of help me through this, as music is always a great solace in any time of trouble. (It’s funny it has only been a week but it seems so much longer) I mean I instantly thought of Breaking Up is Hard to Do, I Will Survive or Missing You; but those just didn’t really seem to be able to capture how I was feeling. So I was thinking I should check out this playlist I made for my friend and see what spoke to me. About seven months ago my friend Jane broke up with her boyfriend, and I made her a care package full of food, games, some lotion/toiletry stuff, etc.; but I also made her a CD full of songs to help her through her breakup that I titled “Heartbreak”. Its actually kind of ironic because after I made it I was going to delete it, but thought hey I should save that in case I need to play it for someone else later (little did I know that was going to be me). So the music ranges from all kinds of songs starting out sad but moving on to things getting better and ending of course in I Will Survive. Maybe I will do that for another post, my recommended playlist for heartbreak, always a possibility. Anyways, so I was listening to it and found the perfect song that really captures how I’m feeling. I’ll Be Alright Without You by Journey.

I’ve actually been playing it like nonstop (with headphones as not to annoy my roommate). It’s such an amazing song with really great lyrics.

So unlike my other musical posts I couldn’t find a whole lot of background info on the song. It was released in 1986 on their Raised On Radio album. The song was #7 on the Adult Contemporary chart, #26 on the Mainstream Rock chart and  #14 in the Billboard Hot 100. It was written by Jonathan Cain, Steve Perry, and Neal Schon. It is one of their most known songs, because of course not only is it amazing but because of the content.

So like I said before the lyrics are really beautiful and truly express trying to get over someone.

I’ve been thinking ’bout the times
You walked out on me
There were moments I’d believe, you were there
Do I miss you, or am I lying to my self again

I do these things…
(It’s all because of you)
I keep holding on, but I’ll try
(try not to think of you)
Love don’t leave me lonely
I’ll be alright without you

There’ll be someone else…I keep tellin’ myself
I’ll be alright without you
Oh…love’s an empty face, I can’t replace
(you don’t need it)

People wonderin’ why we broke apart
The great pretender here I go again
These things I do
(It’s all because of you)

I’ll keep holdin’ but I’ll try
(try not to think of you)
All I wanted was to hold you
I’ll be alright without you
There’ll be someone else, I keep tellin’ myself

I’ll be alright without you
Love’s an empty face…Oh I’ve got to replace
I’ll be alright without you
There’ll be someone else, I keep tellin’ myself

I’ll be alright without you
Oh…love’s an empty place, I can still see your face
I’ll be alright

Breaking up is just hard to do (if it wasn’t there wouldn’t be a song titled that), and this just expresses exactly what I keep telling myself. Its going to be okay, I was fine before June, and I will be fine now in Dec. It’s just hard because all I wanted was to hold him and be with him. And people wonder why we broke apart, I do as well, and I just don’t know. I don’t know what happened. I’m just trying to move on and not think of him, but of course that is always easier said then done. (I don’t remember ever speaking in so many song titles. It reminds me of the Archie comic when Betty does that). It’s weird because it comes in waves. Sometimes I feel just fine and like I used to, getting back into the old routine and everything. But other times I don’t know what sparks it, but I just hurt so much and want the pain to stop.

And I know that I’ll be okay, and that later I’ll find someone else, the only problem is that I don’t want someone else, I want him. Things were easier when I was the Ice Queen. Well I know the only thing that can end this is time. Time, chocolate, ice-cream, and Clint Eastwood (Hey he’s single, it could happen).

I changed the wallpaper on my computer to a young, shirtless, Clint Eastwood. That always makes me feel better. 😀

I mean look at this man! Can you blame me for being crazy about him?

Anyways here is the song, happy listening.

To check out my last musical post go to Jump (For My Love)